The Hoely Hour - E163 Scott Pilgrim VS A Litmus Test

Episode Date: November 24, 2023

Amelia is on her last brain cell because moving is a universally soul-sucking experience. To no one's surprise, married men make way more money than anyone else. Liz has designed a new litmus test to help figure out if someone sucks! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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May slow when network is busy. See terms. i want it i have to see more of what's going on in this cult it's radica donk it's radica donk i like that where's that's new welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email

us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com so good to be back amelia's been moving so she's exhausted i i just said this before we started recording but my one brain cell is like really really firing off right now it's like really working hard it's doing jumping jacks it's doing it's doing all of the heavy lifting in my life right now and um i just need y'all to know that before this episode y'all if you're thinking about moving don't yeah that's the end of the episode thank you so much for listening that's that i mean i'm so i'm really just so excited to be in that place yeah now that we're like really moving our things but like you know i hate that like there has to be

a way to make moving not suck well and then it's like if you hire movers i mean hiring movers sucks i haven't talked to anybody who was like yeah i had a really great experience with these movers my parents moved like across the country and movers stole their shit what the fuck mm-hmm my brother had these like childhood um john deere toys because my grandpa used to work for john deere and they got him these little tractors and uh they stole the little baby tractors that is the saddest thing in the world and also so like broke a lot of shit fucking bitches they're just dumb i've had a lot of really great mover experiences but it's because like when we've moved as a family across the country it's been because my dad's gotten a

new job so like the companies hired movers to like pack like wrap everything pack it and move it across the country oh wow yeah i mean like i remember it being that way maybe my parents were more involved in it than that i'm sure they were but like i always remember it being very simple and easy so when i got older and i realized how much moving sucks and not only the packing part which is like theoretically i would think that that would be the worst part you know i think the packing part is the easiest part i hate i hate all of it equally i don't love packing i am an equal opportunity moving hater but i don't discriminate about what part of the move i hate i have been using these guys to move the past two times i've moved and they are so fucking fantastic

oh okay frank just used them and they they're really really great but damn but they just move the stuff they don't do like the packing well because you were there you were part of when i got absolutely fucked by movers yeah um that was pretty it was definitely traumatizing yeah and you're like left with one of your keys yeah i had to file a police report and i like i have nightmares about yelling because i just i don't raise my voice in anger like ever you know it it's such a rare occurrence um if i'm angry i'm pretty quiet i would say yeah i'm silent which is so much scarier silent rage uh but anyways i have so i'll have nightmares that i'm yelling at people because that's just like not something that i would do but i was

yelling on the phone at these people the next day with the customer service because they're like let's sort this out and i was like i cannot even believe that this happened yeah um anyways yeah so be careful when you're hiring movers and don't use bellhop do not use bellhop movers they're kind of like it's like uber um oh they so these people can just like apply they could just be movers and then like the company facilitates that does that make sense yeah so it's like task rabbit yeah essentially um speaking of moving i have been wanting to tell amelia this story i tried telling her in a voice note um and it also needed a picture that went along with it which also didn't download yeah so this is a new fresh story I'm so excited so when I moved out the new

tenant had like toured my apartment and um I had like cute wallpaper up and some other like cute little fixtures and she asked if I could leave the wallpaper up um and like the contact paper on the countertop before I moved out and I was like totally and then um we also told my building manager who lives in the building everything squared away I was also selling some furniture so she asked me what I was selling and she ended up buying my kitchen table so I leave the kitchen table there I put my keys on it everything is squared away took some pictures because always take some pictures when you move out smart just to cover your ass um so I took some pictures all moved out. It's, it's been almost a month since I've moved out and I get a text from the

new tenant cause obviously we'd coordinated and she paid me for the kitchen table. Um, and I left a chair for her there as well, just so she wasn't sitting at a table. Yeah, exactly. So, um, she texts me and she's like, Hey Liz, did something happen with the table? I'm not sure if you got my venmo and i was like no i did what happened and she's like it's not here and neither is the chair and i was like okay i'm gonna start a group text with the building manager and we'll get this figured out and like if we can't find it like i'll pay you back um worst case and then mr liz was like well since the table's missing and you left it there and she had already paid you for it technically it's her property and i was like that's a good point anyways yeah but

like what the fuck i know i group text the building manager yeah and then she's like she's like i went in there the other day to like um make sure everything was ready to go and i didn't she's like i was confused by why the table wasn't there but i didn't like think much of it and she's like let me talk to maintenance and figure out what happened and then um she's like so they removed the table i don't know why they wouldn't check with me because she obviously passed along the information to leave the wallpaper up and all the other little changes I had made um and the keys were on the table so it was obviously on purpose yeah what the fuck so uh and I sent pictures too I was like I left the table here's like my very last night there and um she's like

let me figure it out and then she's like so maintenance removed it I let me see if we can find it and she's like but the table is in this storage closet upstairs so should they find the the chair and then they do find the table and this table is in perfect flawless condition because i didn't even really get to sit at it while i was there um and it's just like it was such a nice table and it's like a full like wood table it's around it's round it's durable i'm like just selling it it's yeah but it's like i'm trying to drive home the fact that this is like a perfect conditioned table like you could buy this brand new from the store um i hate where this is going and she's like we found the table but they sawed off the legs they sawed off the bottom half of

the legs instead of just fucking disassembling it and so she sends me a picture and it's like this short ass table and i was like this table was in perfect fucking condition and they they weren't like no no no let me take a screwdriver and just like take it apart they saw off the legs which is arguably so much more work yeah how do like they and they fuck up a a piece of furniture that is in mint condition i was just like what the fuck is going on in your head that this is the solution you come up with and clearly i left it there for this person i i can't it blows my yes i have a picture of it and i was like look at this shit i am enraged so then i text it like i'm replying to the girl and i'm just like i'm sorry but what the fuck did they do like why

would they do that and then she i mean she thought it was funny and i was like what kind of fucking boy math is this that's that's super it's boy math yeah it's like oh this doesn't fit in the closet um how do we make a fit let's just saw off the legs i want to donkey kick whoever fucking came up with that in the face this just supports the theory that men just want to destroy things like like that is a that's a wild thing to do i just who has a saw but not a screwdriver i was enraged so i i also hate wasting stuff so like if this table was a piece of shit that's one thing right um so here's a picture of it that is so dumb looking i was like maybe it could be a coffee table yeah actually that's kind of cute that actually would be a cute coffee table probably

kind of a big coffee table and i mean at least like this top part is you could just change the base that looks like you ordered it off of wish that looks like one of those things that people are like try to order a kitchen table off wish i like i want to scream and cry a little bit because like i loved this table i don't want to get rid of it yeah and then these dip shits just saw off the bottom of the legs and for what like why would they do that when i don't i can't think of a reason i assembled it myself so it's clearly not that hard to take apart so maybe they needed the the legs for something to beat themselves with to make sure they have even fewer brain sells them when they started i i just oh god i could not believe it i'm so sorry what they

ended up doing was um they reimbursed her the building managers uh made sure like she got a credit towards her account on uh like for the table good um i'm sure they could also pay her if they needed to and then in our side text like with just the two of us i was they were like how much did you pay for the table i was like hey girl i paid 250 for it um so if you wanna how much did you charge her for it a hundred dollars okay because i was just trying to get rid of it yeah yeah yeah um i was like i paid 250 for it if you want to tell her that like and i was like they make so much money yeah i said between us they make so much money that they can definitely afford that and then she's like okay i it'll it'll cost like more than what i paid you for to

replace it something like in that same condition yeah um and quality so she told her 200 good and i was like you could also probably like use your renter's insurance to get like double reimbursed yeah but you know yeah so at the end of the day if i were she profited off of somebody else's mistake it makes me so mad i have a frustrating moving story can i tell you yeah this is the last bit though because i'm gonna be i'm gonna just be so mad that it will be it'll ruin the rest of my night i'm gonna come home and mr liz is gonna be like did you guys get in a fight or what like no we were talking about moving fighting everybody else um it's a short story but um i had an open house here on friday for this place because my landlord

was like i don't want to have to keep like bothering you with tours so let's do an open house in theory great idea in practice bad idea because yeah like I don't know I think there's something about like oh yeah I'm gonna schedule this tour that makes people feel like they have to show up if it's just an open house people aren't showing up but regardless so all week I had the craziest most stressful week ever I had so much shit going on and then I had to make this house like showroom ready for this for this open house you get what you fucking get but there it's because I'm paying for this place until June if somebody doesn't move in so I was like this is now my responsibility the day before the open house Frank was like where on the listing does

it say anything about the open house and I was like it's on there he's like no I like ctrl f like there's nothing it's not on there and I texted my landlord and I was like hey where on the listing does it say anything about the open house she's like at the very top I'm like it's not there and she's a screenshot and she was like oh looks like it fell off just added it which means that there was it was up for one day so when Friday rolls around I sat here for three hours and nobody showed up to the open house because she had given like a 12-hour notice for it so I was so stressed out getting this place ready and now I'm stressed out about getting somebody in here and she sat here for like 20 minutes and was just like well do you want to just text me if anyone

shows up i'm like yeah nobody's gonna fucking show up so like go you can yeah she's getting paid either way so there's no incentive for her to fill it we definitely think she's just like fucking over amelia yeah because she yeah there's no incentive it's fucking ridiculous did i tell you about that wait i feel like i was okay so i had told you about that yeah i've been thinking about that and that's been pissing me off too um anyway so don't move i do have a couple of topics for you. For me? Yeah. Oh my god it's like Cosmo. So I'm gonna start with my little fact and we can discuss it. So today when I was in a call one of my co-workers it was I was on the call with like some of my co-workers and our client and she is recently married and she's

she she is also very young looking um I think she's our age uh not to say we're not young it's just like when you're 30 you have just kind of a little bit more of a perspective I guess on your career yeah um and just more confidence in what you're doing so she just appears very young and I think working in social media marketing you're immediately kind of undervalued anyways because a lot of people in charge still just think like millennials are 20 year olds even though they're like 30 and 40 and they have kids and have been working for 10 or more years anyways damn um and working in social people just kind of think it's like for teenagers and they're like teenagers don't have any money we don't fucking care but as we know that's not true um also fun little

statistic uh this is a this is a side statistic okay um the main decision makers of buying are like kind of that middle-aged mom like moms in their 40s because they're deciding the buying for the entire household so they kind of like are in charge of uh purchasing trends can you send me that stat because i've been making a deck for my client um i heard it somewhere um but i'm sure you could look at i'm sure you can look it up i'll listen to this and then google it while yeah it was it was like a marketer who was like talking about that fact i love it um so that's just a cool little thing so oh they were talking about how people like make fun of basic bitches um because something's popular but it's popular because these women are deciding the trend

essentially yeah they're just like this overlooked undervalued demographic that um has like is buying for an entire household and kind of like selecting the trends that it's so annoying how like everything that like women have decided are is good is just like inherently bad like all the basic bitch stuff like starbucks like pumpkin spice lattes people are like oh no it's pimpin's main latte season it's like that is the most innocuous thing that you could be hearing about i think that i i feel like the basic bitch slander has fallen off because what's wrong with being basic you know what's wrong with liking likable things i used to take that as such an insult so people yeah it's true well because i mean because the way

people were saying basic bitch they meant stupid uh-huh um and boring and like that that's essentially what what they meant when they were saying that and i'm not above saying like i used to say basic bitch and like yeah the same attitude absolutely but also like i feel like the people that aren't basic bitches are like wrong because like why don't you like you know maybe they're just like they're like bringing everyone else down because they're the weird ones yeah yeah you fucking freak you don't like pumpkin spice lattes they're just not girls girls i don't like that yeah okay continue so you don't need to criticize women for liking likable things like taylor swift and pumpkin spice lattes and right they're they're likable because like we

like those are likable yeah yeah justice it's definitely that i mean i do i guess i i'll add this little this little asterisk the thing that i can understand is um just choosing to follow these things because because they're popular yeah that's different yeah so no like not really like having a personality outside of i like these things because this is what i think i'm supposed to like yeah right just following the zeitgeist rather than being a part of it yeah fuck dog but anyways go on um my original piece of information um my so my co-worker is uh young looking and um i also just think in general social is undervalued and she's talking to our client and then she says my husband blah blah blah blah and it is so interesting to watch people's like kind

attitudes shift once a woman says my husband yeah interesting I've also noticed I think my favorite thing is like when um friends get married and then they stop saying like oh uh Josh and they start saying my husband yeah my husband blah blah blah blah blah and you're like you mean Josh I fucking know right we all grew up together what are you doing yeah yeah I've known you guys for five years yeah you don't need to say my husband I know who you're talking about yeah um but it also i think they like just like saying my husband which is cute but it is very interesting seeing it happen in the workplace yeah because i definitely felt like the client's attitude changed a little bit and like now my co-worker is taken a little bit more seriously so um i was just kind of

thinking on that and then while this meeting's happening like on the side i'm like googling statistics about like married people and salaries because like if you're taken more seriously in the workplace because you're married like are you making more money so here is what my research found whoa that's some big brain shit liz but go on i wanted to know if married women make more money than single women like just like salary wise yeah um and it's a very it's very very interesting because there's a lot of nuance to it so for men it's really straightforward um single men make more than single women um but married men make more than anybody so married men make 32 percent more um why than single men are they just taken more seriously is

that why yes they're seen as having to provide for their family so they'll they're you know they'll make more if they're married and they'll probably make even more if they have kids because now this man has to provide for his family you see that makes sense to me like but i mean to make more than everyone that's fucked up but for you to get paid more when you have kids makes sense but the fact that it's married men specifically are above everyone like what the fuck what the fuck and then this is where it's really interesting with women um because women it is it's a story essentially um and it's rooted in misogyny and sexism as we're aware it's just kind of this patriarchal arc of career for women when you're young and single those are seen as

kind of like the critical career building years so you know if you're like working from like age 22 to like 32 and you're unmarried and childless you're kind of more likely to be like taken seriously or not taken seriously but you're just not being um punished isn't the right word but when women have kids they're less likely to get a raise or a promotion because people just assume that now that you have more domestic responsibilities that you're not committed to your job that's fucking wild like with what i was just saying about the reason that i'm not surprised that then get paid more for having kids is the same reason that you're not surprised that moms get paid less that's fucking crazy so if you have kids when in your younger years um the the statistic i

saw was between age 20 and 28 um is either 28 or 26 um you're just like less likely to make make good money off the bat like you're immediately going to make less money um but if you spend like those first 10 years out of school like focused on your career then if you do get married you're taken a little bit more seriously socially when you say you're married so if you say my husband blah blah blah like at work or to a client whatever you have more social respect, but it's still a little bit confusing as to if you're going to make more money if you're a married woman versus single. Um, I, you definitely do make more money, but it's like there were a lot of conflicting statistics. Um, so the story is if you spend those first 10

years focusing on your career you've kind of gained all of these like qualities and experiences that you need to advance your career and then you get married then you make even more money and then if you have kids it kind of stays the same like you're kind of in tandem with the rest of the people um in your demographic yeah and then uh if you get divorced then you're even closer to the closing the the gap the pay gap between um married men and everybody else holy shit so basically what you need to do as a woman is um be never married from the ages 20 to 30 and just like yeah do every like just focus all of your efforts on your career and just just adopt like a girl boss aura you don't actually need to be a girl boss you just need to give the

appearance of being a girl boss does that make sense yeah just have the confidence of a girl boss yeah um it's a vibe yeah exactly uh and then get married um and say my husband don't indicate that you are planning on having kids or want kids because if you are planning to have kids then that's when people are like oh well like let's not promote her because she's gonna like need to go on maternity leave blah blah blah like let's not give her a raise because she's not as committed as this childless unmarried woman and then when men go on paternity leave it's like oh he's such a good dad he's so involved wow which is true but like the other side is also true you know like it's you that's so aggravating dude i know it's it's just all of

this like all of these social expectations and how they play out in the workplace is so interesting it was i was thinking while you were talking like and even single moms single moms are hit the absolute hardest oh i bet in every in every like corner of society they get shit on like work dating just life in general is difficult it's just like it's so unfair because like if you think about what single moms do day to day they are the most capable people well they have to they have to do so much more like they have so much less money to invest and or even save because they have they have to like plan for their household you know yeah if they're providing for their kids they're not spending money on themselves they're spending money on the basics yeah so you know if

you're single you still have more disposable income well if you're single and childless you have more disposable income but it was just really interesting kind of reading all these statistics of like okay so spend the first 10 years of your career unmarried childless and then get married but maybe advertise you don't want kids i saw on reddit someone say like tell people that you're unable to have kids because then they'll never ask you about it again and then if you do have kids it's a miracle oh my god that's so funny which is fucking brilliant so if you say you know if you're in the workplace because like people shouldn't even be asking you that shit anyways um especially when it comes to like raises and promotions or whatever just like

say you're unable to have children and then la-di-da and then whatever happens in the future you know get divorced and then you'll make more money fuck really game the system divorced or widowed so mysteriously yeah if your husband mysteriously dies for the third time your third husband mysteriously died um i was thinking the other day about how when i was telling my team at work that i'm moving and i said i'm moving in with my boyfriend how like juvenile that sounded but then whenever i say partner whenever like a male co-worker says like my girlfriend i'm like i don't think anything of it what is that i mean that's internalized misogyny i think to feel young having a boyfriend like or like it's like a young thing i i don't i think it well because

mr liz has told me that he doesn't really like saying girlfriend yeah and it's because at this stage in your life i was actually thinking about this the other day like why i prefer to say partner over boyfriend and it's like i'm 32 and i want to be out here saying i have a boyfriend when like 13 year olds are saying the same thing yeah because they're so much more than just a boyfriend now yeah that's so true they're they're a partner because you know you're moving in together you are planning for a future together at least in some capacity like yeah that's true there's just so much more to it than just like I'm in seventh grade and I like two boys yeah and maybe that's what it is is like because I'm saying it and I know that there's so much more than just like

the term boyfriend like evokes that if I hear it from somebody else specifically men but I think that's also just like a personal thing like whenever I hear it from somebody else I'm like oh yeah okay like they have a boyfriend or they have a girlfriend but when I say it I'm like yeah I never thought anything of it until I like started to get older but it's not because I think I'm too old it's just like the boyfriend can mean so many things and it just is more than that to me now yeah yeah oh totally so it is interesting though to see like I don't really feel like saying boyfriend or girlfriend because we're more serious than that yeah but we're just not married yeah and then also like marriage is a whole other contingency so

despite this whole like all of this data i just shared with you all my learnings about uh making money and being married getting married is the biggest financial decision you could ever make however married couples make on average four times the salary of single people holy shit but that's if you know if you're like the household income collectively so did the studies that you read like talk about like gay couples too it they didn't and a lot of these well i think a part of it too was just like what i was looking up yeah um like married men versus married women whatever um i also think that some of i would like go down and look at what sources they cited because i was like when were these when were these studies done because some

of the information was conflicting and like the more recent information was like yes if you're married you are more likely to get a raise blah blah blah um but the older information is from like the 80s and 90s and i'm like that is so outdated we cannot be citing these sources and writing articles in 2023 no i know like yeah i know that's not they need to there have been so many economic changes yeah since just 2020 if i see if i see research from 2020 i won't even read it because it's like the world has changed so much since the pandemic i don't even want like the 90s like we're in a completely we're in a completely different world now i mean in some ways in a lot of ways not always yeah unfortunately it should be more ways yeah should indeed be more

ways i have a half baked out thought that i want to talk through with you i'll help you finish baking it because i was thinking the other day about how like the whole phrase of like like oh if you have straight hair you want curly hair like women always want what they don't have and i was thinking about how fucked up of a sentiment that is because it's like no i think that it's just that women have like things that they think look good like curly hair so they want to get curly hair and that's what it is it's not like a women want what they can't have thing like i was thinking about that phrase and i was like that's just such an annoying it's another one of those things where um society is pitting women against each other even if they're not you know

yeah and also like women are somehow in the wrong for like liking things each other yeah yeah and like women are like not they're in the wrong for just like wanting like just like liking a thing you know like oh you have a like like small boobs like while women want what they don't have so like of course you're gonna get a boob job it's like no like that's not it's not that i want it because i don't have it it's i want it because i like it and it's like women are always so like demonized for just like liking things from the second that you're born you're told you shouldn't like stuff about yourself yeah so it's no surprise if like someone who has straight hair wants curly hair because you're like taught to look at yourself in the mirror and pick out things that you don't

like about yourself that you would change yes and then you get made to feel bad when you want to change it when it's society that made you want to change it or you just like additionally how often are we looking at other people thinking of them that way no like never rarely yeah if at all if you do it's just like you know maybe you're a bad person or maybe you just have really loud intrusive thoughts um that have been conditioned into your brain anyways but it's just like you're not we're not looking at each other and thinking about that especially women so i think in an instance where it's like someone with straight hair wants curly hair it's like you're able to look at someone who might not like that thing about themselves and be like that is so beautiful

yeah right it's this is kind of the same kind of but like just a piggyback on what you were just talking about like looking at people and not thinking like that I when I realized how often when women are with their friends and look like they're talking about you like strangers how often they're saying nice things like once I realized that I was like that just made me feel so much better about being in public because you can like you can notice when people are talking about you and it's like oh my god like do i like i must look stupid right now or something or like do i have a stain but then i was thinking about whenever i'm talking about other women in public with a friend i'm always like dude she's so fucking pretty you know yeah like i love that outfit and that's not

ever like shown to us growing up that that's like the kind of conversations that women have about each other that's so true we always like anything that's ever in media no it's not in tv shows it's always women being mean to each other and which is such this which is such a like a it's such a direct response of like misogyny that women are women must always be competing with each other and they must always hate each other because like and and like they benefit from that we have yet to discuss escaping twin flame did you watch it no i but i did talk about it i talked about it on this podcast i think i only talked about it with mr liz yeah i don't think that you and i talked about it yeah i talked about this in an episode with mr liz when um you were unable to record

but we talked about twin flames universe it's bananas i listened to a podcast about it it is apps and it's still currently active yeah they were like having people transition just to keep their like everyone has a twin flame and like if you haven't found your twin flame it's because like you're not the right gender like that's but it's the most like i was watching i i turned this on because you said they encourage you to get like like when you would get a restraining order they would celebrate it well you got blocked if you got a restraining order like somebody ended up in jail like the the leader of the cult like publicly shamed her for it they're like he was like why wouldn't you just leave leave him alone like you obviously like did something wrong and

she's like i was just doing what you were telling me to do hear the rest of what he said no he was like well he was like did you love yourself oh yeah you were doing and she was like yes and he's like then you were doing the right thing yeah so it starts out where he's like well what the fuck were you doing because now there's some legal shit involved that is some but then it just in some roundabout ways like did you love yourself were you loving yourself when this was happening and she's like yeah to cult leaders what else is she gonna fucking say that is the mind control that goes on is so scary in this podcast they had interviewed other people i'd highly recommend listening to it um i don't know if it's if the netflix series also based

itself off of the podcast. Anyways, there in the first episode, there's a clip from his old roommate and he had moved in. He needed somewhere to stay. And he was like with Shalia or whatever Shalia, his now wife. I don't think they were married at that point, but they were together. and uh his roommate was like yeah you can live with me he knew him from college he was a normal guy in college he's like yeah you you can live with me and be my roommate and whatever and then um he didn't have a job and then he was like the roommate asked like shalaya what she does and she's like i'm an artist and he's like oh like what's your medium like what do you what do you make and she's like i don't really know and then with jeff uh he didn't have a job so he was like

oh i have a buddy like who works here he can get you a job it was like a landscaping job and then he comes home after his first day and he's like well i ended up quitting because they just like don't really understand me and he wanted to talk about like spirituality or whatever and it's like these are some landscaping dudes yeah like yeah they're not trying to do that in your free time guy um and then the roommate was like are you serious like how are you gonna pay me rent and then they were making these youtube videos and he was like he was like i i follow my heart and like look at everything i have and it was his roommate's house yeah he was like that is my office like you don't have shit oh my god and then um he jeff said that he posted it on

facebook and he was like i'll heal your illnesses and had like a price list and he would cure your cancer yep for twelve thousand dollars because he started to believe he was jesus or he wanted to oh yeah the reincarnate of jesus he like grew his hair and his beard and everything it's like yeah it's some white guy named jeff yeah sure right uh some white guy white white jesus oh my god i look like jesus no you look like what white people think jesus looked like yeah and like barely that you know like you just have brown hair yeah you know and blue eyes congratulations well done it was the it was just the nuttiest thing i've ever watched like it was i could not believe it's shocking and it's still recruiting there's a dude on um

tiktok that is like he's like signing up for the cult oh yeah he's like married or has a girlfriend but he's like so i'm gonna become a part of the twin flames universe so follow along he already has like three million followers already he's like a big creator but i'm like hooked i'm like i want it i have to see more of what's going on in this cult it's ridicadonk it's ridicadonk i like that where's that's new ridicadonk oh i've said it before probably not on the podcast not to me i love saying ridicadonk other friends no hello i mean mr liz who the fuck is that but what i did hear from one of my friends in high school and i've always like that is so in my head i say it a lot that is so so funny it's ridicadonk um because it's like a combination of ridiculous

and redonkulous oh did you ever hear redonk yeah redonkulous yeah radicadonk remember how big badonkadonk was when it was a thing like how big that did was that maybe it was just an east coast thing like hockey tonk badonkadonk like damn look at that badonkadonk yeah so stupid now we now i say fatty dumpy i mr liz and i say fatty dumpy but most of the time we're talking about dumplings that is so the mr liz and liz like we have a lot of vernacular is should be like written in stone for future generations they should find it in caves fatty dumpy sometimes about ass usually about actual dim sum dumplings what's this what's the sound you guys make when you're eating something good i was thinking about that the other day and laughed out loud to myself that

is so fucking funny to me and sometimes it'll be like i think mr liz got it for me because uh have you ever seen a video of like i i don't i don't even know what it's from it's just this guy who's cooking yep you told me he's like so good yeah yep it's some like high school cooking show yeah uh-huh oh my god it's so good i love the internet man i love the internet essentially we just sound like little muppets oh it's so fucking funny um but the other thing i wanted to talk to you about was scott pilgrim and i know you haven't seen it yeah um but it has so it's a comic book that was made into a movie yes that is now a tv an animated tv show on netflix and honestly the animated show is um the plot got a little confusing towards the end and maybe that's

because i haven't read the comic books um also i was high so that'll do it you know yeah you kind of lose your way uh but the actual animation style is phenomenal um it's a very meta show so if you're gonna watch it you should watch the movie first okay um but i remember so i didn't watch Scott Pilgrim versus the world until I was a little bit older um and I was I remember watching it and I was like this guy fucking sucks um oh and that's kind of the point yeah like Scott Pilgrim as like a not not the character but as like a media I don't I don't know what what to call it because it's not just a comic book or a movie or whatever um yeah but Scott pilgrim is as a movie at least is self-aware uh and and then the animated series is also self-aware

but like it's self-aware in that like everyone knows he sucks yeah um but there are absolutely people who love scott pilgrim because they identify with scott yeah i've heard that a lot so i think that is a new litmus test that we should employ um on ladies on your first date you need to ask this guy like what do you think of scott pilgrim like i love that movie it's so fun what do you like about it and then just see what he says like oh do you like relate to scott at all yeah um squints would always say that he relates to scott pilgrim oh no does he can you because you knew him I mean I don't know him that well but can you like yes so I'm just gonna explain I don't think I'm spoiling anything but I'll explain Scott Pilgrim generally so Scott

Pilgrim is absolutely an incel and he is how an incel sees himself and um as just like always the hero always the victim always the hero always the good guy always the underdog Scott Pilgrim's the underdog and uh he sees this woman in his dreams um and there's some other weird shit but uh her name's ramona flowers and she is the manic pixie dream girl and that is also self-aware you know she has colorful hair and she like rollerblades and delivers mail um yeah so like that's that's what's so special about ramona flowers so then when scott pilgrim decides that he wants to pursue ramona flowers he has to defeat her evil exes and then one of her evil exes is controlling her like wow controlling her brain and that's just all like can't you see some insult being like

i have to defeat her exes yeah oh yeah like i'm a warrior yeah yeah when and it's like oh this guy totally fucked her up and is controlling her yeah he's the reason that she's so fucked up yeah no he's a bad guy and i'm a good guy and also through this whole thing scott pilgrim is a 23 year old man and he is dating a 17 year old oh my god what yeah um they like it's like he they've never like hooked up it's more like he's just kind of stringing her along and he's in a band and she just like absolutely idolizes him and his band and then he just like is like fuck you and starts he doesn't like ever break up with her or address anything um he just starts pursuing Ramona Flowers and then his friends are like you gotta do something about this dude

so it's just about how he really really fucking sucks oh now I really want to watch the movie i i would like to watch it again with um kind of the perspective i have now yeah because when i was watching it i was like why do people like this guy he fucking sucks who plays him michael sarah yeah michael sarah oh and another cool thing about the animated series is um all of the people who played their characters in the movie also voice the their character in the animation show that's so cool um uh why am I forgetting his name the the not Macaulay Culkin the other one his brother yes Kieran Culkin Kieran Culkin I I wanted to say Roman because that's who he is in succession oh um but he's a character in it and he's probably my favorite character in the animated

series it was really funny I love Kieran Culkin him and um the 17 year old girlfriend her name's Knives not that's so funny like a fun name uh Knives is really fucking funny that is such a funny name Ramona Flowers that's a great name yeah I've heard that name so many times I did not know that it was Scott Pilgrim yeah Ramona Flowers something today uh but I definitely think that this should be a litmus test that we employ I love that idea um and I would love for you to watch scott pilgrim i'm gonna have to watch the world it's definitely fun it's a fun concept i would say like of course i i also think it's so creative to frame this idea as like that incel guy yeah from your high school or whatever your college like yeah thinking of

himself in this way oh my i can think of so many evil exes i can think of so many guys that are like that that's so funny god yeah no especially with like you know a few dudes that i know like definitely think most men grow out of it but this is also like the narrative that's given to them in every piece of media the same way it is to us yeah absolutely you need to be the manic pixie dream girl and he's the main character and you teach him a lesson manic pixie dream girl is such a have you seen um eternal sunshine of the spotless mind that i feel like yeah ramona flowers is almost like that yeah that's what i was that's what i'm like a mad yeah clementine i don't remember her last name but that's what i was picturing because like

they really do like portray every manic pixie dream girl as clementine like that is like the epitome of like and where did that come from is it just like they're just like pawns to help the male character like progress in life is that like what they're like that's how did they create that version though like with the colored hair and like the that's like weird job question yeah the like the quirky yeah girl yeah like oh i wonder what that is maybe because like god i don't know that would be interesting to like have as like a thought experiment though like what it what why are these traits associated with that kind of pawn in a man's life i wonder what like the past version of manic pixie dream girl was yeah like before it was

what it is now yeah i wonder well because if you think about it like if you read have you ever read like seen the twitter account uh men write women yeah it's it's like that yeah all of it's like that it's like she essentially it's just like she's hot and she doesn't know it or like she's none of the other boys pay attention to her but i see that she's so beautiful that must be what it is like having a weird job and having weird colored hair and like you know being in her own world is like no i see unattractive yeah yeah i see i see through you being who you are like i see you being through being you being your like authentic self like that makes me such like a good guy yeah that must be what it is that so i think that someone who likes scott pilgrim as a character

or identifies with scott pilgrim the character is they just see themselves as like a savior i'm such a good guy like gross i i don't even know how else to put it into words they just see themselves as the main character and everything they do is like the right everyone else is wrong you know i'm the good guy yeah maybe i make a mistake but like that is so fucking it was well intended what a wild trope to have that is so that is so funny i think that's a good litmus test yeah i i think scott pilgrim is um an exaggeration of this type of well that's how it has to be it has to really like blow up all of the traits so people get it and they still don't yeah they still don't they're still like oh fuck that's fucking me dog i see myself in that in that man

i do remember that the movie was like well done yeah like people love the movie like it was well done and not just like the script like um the visual aspect of it was really well done yeah so it's a fun watch it looks like a cool movie um but yeah we all need to keep in mind that scott pilgrim fucking sucks um and also ramona flower sucks too oh uh but like in a different way yeah you know yeah um and the show also touches on that like they both suck in a different way and the show just kind of shows how she hurt a lot of people oh um damn and then she has i think the show its purpose is to show people like you need to grow out of this I'm the main character I'm the hero even when I hurt people type of thing like I can do no wrong and the person I

like just like their exes are so evil yeah yeah but it's like people will bend over backwards just to not admit that they have faults yeah that's true that's that is incredibly true and i mean like who among us didn't do that absolutely oh my god i i'm sure i still do that you know but like yeah yeah that's true like you are trying to protect your little ego yeah but i mean there's always going to be that little voice that's like no you did that because of like yeah yeah you did that because you were insecure yeah right you did that because you were ashamed uh-huh it and once you listen to that quiet voice you got to give it a microphone and you're like yeah it does make me feel bad but i will feel better if i address it and i'm honest uh-huh and i apologize and then i

change my behavior but then there's like a piece of you that's like if i admit that that's that i'm wrong maybe i'm pointing out something that somebody else hasn't noticed and i'm gonna make them aware of it and then it's going to turn into an issue oh I don't think about that to myself part I used to when I was a kid not even a kid I was like I was a kid but I was like 16 I that's a kid I would apologize a lot for things and my neighbor who was like my big sister growing up was like you need to stop apologizing for everything because a lot of the time people haven't even realized that there's anything that you need to be apologizing for and you apologizing just makes them aware of the thing that you're apologizing about that's like fuck that's so

even if they're aware of it well because it's like um when you apologize to me for something i can't even remember what you said you were like i'm so sorry if that was offensive i was like i don't even remember you saying that yeah and i was like also i don't think that's offensive yeah yeah yeah see there's one i feel like there's apologizing to like clear your conscience if you feel like you maybe hurt someone you care about but then there's also the apologizing that i feel like we do as women a lot because we are like meant to like we're taught to take up as little space as possible yeah so then if you like apologize for like oh my god i'm so sorry i was like i like was a bitch that day you know it's like they probably didn't even notice but now

they do that and now they're thinking back on all the ways that you are a bitch and now it's a problem um i saw this girl on tiktok explaining like she was like i had this friend that i would only hit up for like if I needed a ride and like blah blah blah and then her friend like just blew up on her one day and was like you're not a good friend and like listed all the things that she did that like she just kind of was using this friend and then the girl was like uh for like years she was like I'm not the problem and then she had a moment like an aha moment where she was like no she was right i was the fucking problem like i was really self-centered and selfish and then she like reached out to that girl and she's like hey i'm not trying to like repair a

friendship or anything but you were totally right and like here are all the things i did wrong and i'm really sorry wow yeah wow that takes a big person to do that and she was like yeah there's just like never a bad time to apologize yeah and it's true i think we've said that before it's never a bad time to apologize no but i also think those moments are really important yeah totally listen to when you are embarrassed uh-huh and then i think the heart the the hard part for people is like um like fully accepting that they did that and then like being able to forgive themselves after uh-huh yeah that's a huge thing because yeah if you admit that you did something then that means that you then have to deal with the fallout of you acknowledging that

you've done something wrong like you have to repair it with yourself the only way that you can really do that too is by like changing your behavior yeah which is work in another situation like that i also saw um a tiktok earlier today where this girl was like talking about the crisis friend like the friend who is always in a crisis oh my god and how draining it is yeah the other side is like the crisis friend never has room for you oh yeah if you are in crisis right they never ever ask you about yourself anyway though yeah and then they try and one-up your crisis they're like well things are always worse for me yeah yep whenever i like try to like say that i'm like having a hard time to a crisis friend i always have to like i feel the need to be like but like

oh my god like it probably seems like nothing to you i'm like preaching in the choir you know because i know that they're gonna do it and i don't want to fucking hear it you know i don't know i feel like these self-preservation things that we do just as humans too often come back and bite us in the ass like your mom like is worried about like disappointing somebody or making them feel sad that she's not there for them and then like so she helps them in self-preservation and not feel that negative feeling and then at the end of the day she's still feeling a negative feeling yeah because she has nothing left for herself yeah well so now instead of feeling guilt she feels resentment which that's not the point no and also if you're always in crisis like what the

is going on in your life you need to take a second and look at yourself well and then one of the comments was like if you're in the comments wondering if you're the crisis friend you're not because the crisis friend does not have any self-awareness that's so true yeah they're never gonna be like am i the problem yeah no it's the same thing that is so i do have to say i don't think i've ever had a crisis friend oh really yeah i and i think it's just because like of all of my weird kind of like friendship building experiences like I see my mom having to deal with crisis people yeah and being exhausted from it and not having any boundaries so then I'm just like very clear with my boundaries like if you have a weird vibe I'm just like uh you seem like an energy

vampire yeah I'm not gonna I'm gonna keep you at an arm's length I was like such a like adoption agency for friends growing up like i was like who people would go to and they had nobody else because i was just always like yeah like i'll listen for sure like and i would hate either i can think of like five people off the top of my head when i was a kid that i just like hated hanging out with but i would always hang out with because i was like well they need someone being a kid is so weird it's wild yeah it's weird that you have friends that you don't like uh-huh uh-huh i had friends that i didn't like until i graduated college i don't think i have yeah i don't have any friends i don't know me neither not anymore and that's becoming an adult baby yeah adulthood

is cool in that way the emotional maturity is really freeing and exhausting too the soul crushing um experience of having to have a job and provide being emotionally being emotionally mature and emotionally aware is a blessing and a curse i think it would be more fun if we had more space to like be a community uh-huh like and like feel our feelings yeah and like be reconnected with each other and with our planet and the universe i know i sound a little ridiculous right now but no like you know we're spending all of our time fucking working yeah when are we supposed to have the space and time to just relax and be yeah like that is the point of being alive is to be yeah i haven't had any time to be in so fucking long yeah you're not

a a beer no that's something i'm working on i'm trying to be don't get too lost in the sauce of being because then you'll end up like me where you're like i need to lay under my weighted blanket so i don't spiral out there's definitely a happy medium but i'm on the not happiest end of the spectrum i mean i'm i'm fine but like i'm just we're both on like in like middle sides of the end of each spectrum and we're both trying to like uh-huh if i were able to go into the office i think i'd be a little happier really i need to get out of the house i've been working from a coffee shop two times a week with this freelance work that i'm doing and it's changed my life that's really smart it's so nice i should do that yes you absolutely should it's like really really

nice we could also do i mean once you move in or settle in and i'm settled in what if we do like work from home sessions together i love that idea because i'm gonna have my own room we both have our own guest room we can just that is very nice it's so nice um but i'm gonna work in me house's room escape oh perfect she'll love that i need a little assistant so i need a supervisor she's she'll be good at that i mean she's being supervised by cats i'm the most excited to set up her room i'm doing that on friday because her catio gets here friday she's gonna be the she's the most spoiled cat bella the ball um i feel like we've had several productive conversations my one brain cell is really on its last legs oh i'm so tired dude i'm sitting here

like doing my absolute best let her take a nap let the brain cell take a nap okay you've you've done amazing thank you I hope I did a good job entertaining you you absolutely did this was like a story time I feel like because I listened to our podcast at the end of my day like when like when you edit or when I edit like when you're done editing I listen to it at night when I'm editing it is night so I feel like it's kind of like a lullaby for me now to listen to you tell stories oh yeah I love it so much I love you but yeah no I'm like sitting here listening to you talking i'm just like huh i feel like just like a happy fed baby it is it does give you a level of emotional fulfillment yes i love that me too go us i look forward to recording with you me too

i think the hard part is when it comes down to like you're like oh i gotta edit absolutely that's why so many people don't edit their podcast that's so real and only do like 10 episodes they're like fuck this shit's fucking hard dog yeah it takes a long time but the actual recording is fun yeah i agree because we got a little us time i hope us filling each other's cup fills our listeners cup as well are your cups full rate us on apple podcast and spotify and spotify subscribe to us on patreon we're really out here doing our best tell your friends tell oh my god tell your friends tell your friends about this podcast mlm the fuck out of this podcast even though we're going on a break in december

um wait is this our last episode then i don't think so we have one more we have one more next week yeah yeah yeah um right yeah it's like the last oh yeah yeah okay cool uh what was i gonna say tell come back in 2024 for the year of the girls hell yeah bring 10 friends like it's like the lapse app oh i finally downloaded it yeah i don't get it i don't either but like a lot of people do and so i feel like i must like i have i must get it i just i've decided to not oh i'm i finally got my invitation for blue sky what the fuck is that uh it's the other twitter jack dorsey made blue sky oh oh because it's like and it's invite only i'm like you guys shouldn't have done that yeah i will invite you well they shouldn't have done

just find out about it i'm like i want it they should have they should have just made it like twitter because i think everyone would have left yeah but like threads tried to do that yeah but threads is already like instagram like yeah we don't want that we don't need another meta app no we want to say fuck you to twitter and elon musk and then like go to something else that is basically twitter but better you know that's so true they should have hired you as a consultant i miss shit posts look how cute my nails are they are very beautiful thank you it took her three hours so they fucking better be okay all right it's done this well we love you that might have been our best it was pretty good that was do you remember when we used to record

for two hours yeah because we would have to cut out so much we're so much more interesting now we're so like fun fact having a podcast makes you more interesting that's scientifically proven now ask any white man with podcast