The Hoely Hour - E164 Matt stRife

Episode Date: December 1, 2023

It’s our last episode of the year, angels!!! Liz ranks porn titles, Amelia gushes about Sabrina Carpenter, and we talk about everyone’s (least) favorite “hot comedian”, Matt Rife. Plus, it’s a twofer mailbag episode, folks!We love you so much and hope the end of this year gives you everything you've ever hoped for and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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$15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. New customer offer for initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. me slow when network is busy. See terms. It's my dick and a pumpkin. My dick and a pumpkin. Uh. Pumping my dick. It's my dick and a squash. Nice. Welcome to The Holy Hour, a podcast about sex, relationships, mental health, and everything in between. I'm Amelia Sampson. And I'm Liz Ball. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at The Holy Hour. I'm on Instagram and TikTok at Amelia Sampson. and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at the holy hour.com

and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com we got a show for you guys tonight yee-haw get her done remember that yeah what was that oh that was like the blue collar comedy tour oh my god yes you know you're a redneck when here's your side that was like really that was top tier comedy for a sec honestly i i miss uh catchphrase comedy so life update about me i'm still not out of my apartment yeah but almost tomorrow the movers come tomorrow that's thrilling i am two seconds away from a breakdown but we're doing it i'm proud of you Meows's uh anxiety medication got delivered today so that's good okay drop those bad boys in her ear and shove her in a closet tomorrow it's gonna be beautiful I have a fun story for you

that I could not wait to tell you the second it happened it happened right before I left to come here shut up okay so in the building I live in we can see directly across and to the building like across the street from us into the windows yeah and i'm mindlessly scrolling on my phone and uh mr liz is like liz liz and then i was like what and he's like look in that window right across from us no even more aggressive he was like that dude is jerking off into someone's mouth shut the fuck up it was and they're far enough away that you can't like see his dick you can just like see what's happening right you can see the motion oh yeah yeah no he was fully standing up like we could see like we his dick was out good for him yeah um and so it was very aggressive

he was like holding her head and like jerking off and then we just sat there and watched it happened because like what i don't know i wasn't expecting to see this and i've never experienced i've never been in a situation where i have seen other people having like a sexual encounter i just the the lack of awareness of how your window is facing and how dark it is outside i think they knew you think they were like exhibitionists uh yes and mr liz has seen the two of them walking around naked before so i was like i was like do you think they know and he was like absolutely i think they do it on purpose and i was like oh my god these freak freaks good i know i and then so when we're like we're watching and i'm like what are they doing

now we're like we should get some foam fingers oh my god that's so funny yeah have like an air horn spit it in his mouth so that was exciting that is thrilling and he was like are you gonna talk about it on the podcast and i was like i might and here you are talking about it on the i needed i it just felt like a fitting thing to happen to us especially me because i we have this podcast what so brilliant beautiful thing to have happen before you come here yeah honestly fate i I know. Good for them. And I just really...

Well, and then they were like kissing and being very snuggly. So... Aftercare. They're clearly a loving couple that was having a consensual experience. Jeez Louise. So, I know. Well, okay. Should we name them?

Yeah. Because you're probably going to see more of them. Should we refer to that? Name them as a couple? No. They have their own names. They need their own names? Well, here's the thing.

I have not... seen that so mr liz is the only person who has seen them so i don't i'm not sure if it's like this i'm like is it a guy dating one girl or is he like dating multiple girls you know i don't know what their dating life is like um i'm assuming that they live together uh there's a lot of couples that live across from us let's just let's name him because maybe it's him and a few other partners we can name the partners as we get to know them he looked like he had some nice abs too good for him i know i was like i feel like they're a hot couple carlton seth seth i'm just gonna throw out names i'm gonna throw out five names i was thinking we would name them something like silly

oh you know not like real names but we can give them real names and then we can give them a couple name how about that you know what they're your across the street sexy couple i'm gonna let you decide um i think that we should give them some real names so they have some dignity okay and then we can nickname them okay seth is a good name okay and then her name's hayley seth and hayley i like that okay okay yeah like seth kind of feels like yeah yeah hayley's hot for sure hayley is hayley's a hot girl name she seems like she's like sleeper hot yeah you know absolutely it's like you see her at a glance you're like oh she's cute and then you look at her and you're like oh my god you're fucking beautiful yeah i love people who just have like a unique beauty

where it takes you a set like you know just at a glance like that they're attractive but then when you are like the more you observe them and look at them and interact with them you're like yeah you are just such a gorgeous person that reminds me and we i we haven't talked about this on the podcast but we've talked about it just the two of us so the reason that i made this connection is i have my first girl crush like i mean i've always been like oh my god like you know like taylor swift is like literally the most perfect person on the planet but sabrina carpenter oh i'm obsessed i was not expecting you to say that for some reason i can watch her performances all day i'm i'm enthralled i love that the most she's so like beautiful and confident and like she's just like

risen from the ashes like taylor swift has you know sorry i thought you were i heard risen and i thought you meant like like charismatic yeah well that too she's like risen the crowd but then you said risen from the ashes and i was like okay uh-huh no no honest mistake but she does she is risen though for her she's i don't really know anything about her i mean i know some some of the light drama um and just to fill in the listeners um maybe you have a life and you don't know this yeah what's that like but olivia rodrigo dated some joshua bassett you see i don't even know who the fuck that is he's just a man you know um but he they're all on like the show the disney show high school musical the musical so sabrina carpenter wasn't right i'm gonna do this oh

yeah yeah you know more i know too much okay so i'm gonna pretend like i don't you know what i'm gonna let you know i think maybe you're right i'm like not keyed in i don't know i have a life um i don't i don't you know everybody knows that um yeah so olivia rodrigo and joshua bass were on high school musical the show the musical on disney you heard that correctly it is a show about teenage students in a high school performing high school musical yep as a as a like stage performance yeah yeah and olivia rodrigo was like 15 or 16 when she was on it joshua bassett was older so they were keeping their relationship private and secret and then they broke up and then joshua bassett started dating sabrina carpenter who was also on a disney channel show

but a different one oh okay so then sour the whole album is about olivia rodrigo's album is all about joshua bassett and they're dating dating sabrina carpenter directly after they broke up yeah and she didn't say it but everyone knew it because joshua bassett and sabrina carpenter had been posting so many pictures together around the time so it completely like sabrina carpenter was like getting death threats and all this shit and they had already broken up by the time this album came out so she was like well and it didn't hurt i feel like olivia rodrigo's music never said anything like negative about this girl no but it you know the fans it took on a life of its own yeah they were like well because there's the song the song that i feel like was the big hit um driver's

license and it's she has a line about like how he's dating um a girl who's like so much older yeah and blonde yeah she says blonde girl that she's older um doesn't she say pretty in there or something I don't know yeah well yeah I mean she does she says she calls her pretty in another song for sure yeah I I and I'm I don't know I don't want to like project onto like this child olivia rodrigo's literally a child i don't know how old she is now 19 now but she was she's 16 19 is still a baby teen is still in your age um yeah true but i don't get the i don't get the vibe that she like blames this girl no at all but she blames sabrina carpenter i think it's such a unique experience to have a dude break your heart and then end up with someone else and like

hate the girl just automatically even though you know that you shouldn't and so i think that there's a lot of like the fans of olivia rodrigo were taking out that anger that they had for their own experience out on sabrina carpenter and it ruined her career like she's like remarkably talented but everyone's like fuck that slut like and now she's like really owned it she's like if the shoe fits go ahead and call me a slut i don't give a fuck like she's really like allowed it to like fuel her career further and now she's opening for taylor swift on the south america eras tour and like i just love that duo you know from like a like y'all let men ruin our careers and like look at us now we're selling we're like selling out entire stadiums with but

regardless sabrina carpenter's album um emails i can't send so many of the songs you can tell her about that situation i sent one to liz um called because i like a boy liked a boy y'all should listen to it it's so good but it's about that situation i'm just like she just got she's like to do rated because she dated a guy yeah well and if you think about the situation too like when i heard about it i was just like yeah they're fucking teenagers yeah that's what you do when you're a teenager right you date someone and you get your heart broken and then uh they date someone else shortly after yeah and that's that like and then you're gonna just kind of hate them and that's like it's wild to think about that's something that everybody goes through

and nobody ever hears about it but when you're a celebrity and you're going through this very unique not not unique very common experience yeah but then everybody hates you for it i can't imagine living through that like already dealing with the pain of a breakup and then having everyone be like you fucking slut like i'm gonna fucking kill you and that song she talks about like all these death threats she got insane it's stupid people need to calm down yeah but is it really that serious no is it that serious that these teenagers had a bad breakup yeah it's just completely after dating for probably not very long like just enjoy the music that's all it needs to be you know exactly just just listen to it and remember what happened to you and then just be

like wow i've learned and grown from that and the song is beautiful yeah and i can relate to it and then move on with your fucking day um shifting gears yeah before we get into like the bulk of our topics for the day i have a game that we've played before but there's a twist on it now okay the reason this started was i was starting a i was trying to create a game called porno or no no which was going to be it could be um no no like porno or no regardless okay i was starting this game and what it was gonna be was i was finding just perusing porn all of these hilarious porn titles and then i was like i should make a game where i have these but then i also intersperse fake ones and try to make you guess which ones are real or fake but as i was doing that i was

like these fake ones i'm making probably exist uh you know what i mean there so it's like who's to say so instead i wrote down four of them and we're gonna do the game where i tell you the name of the and you say you have to rank it rank it without knowing what's coming next okay based on what you would watch okay okay i feel the need to face you for this okay first one what the fuck step bro you're watching me masturbate with a spy drone a spy drone two okay i'm interested i'm intrigued okay i need to see the spy drone spy drone footage absolutely you know what maybe i need a spy drone maybe to watch my neighbors to watch yeah fucking seth and hayley fans yeah seth and hayley only fans honestly i wouldn't do

that okay no of course not but this guy but i will watch from my window because what are you gonna do in that instance i i'm making it everyone else's problem at that point i was also like should we be watching this and then we both were like i don't know like they're fucking in front on the window what do they expect right it's like should you be driving slow past a car crash probably not but people do it anyway yeah fair okay next one i want you to fuck my pie four okay unoriginal i agree don't like the visual okay so you have one and three left okay those i feel good about this me too sneaky step bro puts his dick in a pumpkin and tricks me it's such a long trick or treat

we're both hey step sis look in this pumpkin like what yeah it's my dick in a pumpkin my dick in a pumpkin uh pumping my dick it's my dick in a squash nice um i didn't assign it a title right or a number i'm gonna give that i'm gonna put that in three okay number three with and i know that's a bold move because that number one spot is just it's gonna have to be taken by whatever you say last okay it'll be interesting to see how you feel about that i know okay the last one is can you fuck me quietly question mark exclamation mark or my stepmom will wake up and you'll have to fuck her too exclamation mark it's such a long title well i guess i'm launching the threesome it's so fucking funny the long title me quietly

or otherwise my stepmom is gonna wake up and she'll have to join us but then okay so whose mom is she because in any in some instance someone's fucking well their mom well i think that this isn't stepbrother i think this is just the stepmom is asleep next to the couple and it's the girl's stepmom but the guy is just the guy's girlfriend dissecting i see there's just a lot of like step like family member porn that's the majority i mean and i just three two two out of four of these are stepbrother like that's weird yeah i want to understand i mean it's the taboo of it right like yeah and it's not illegal like more interesting taboos like yeah i i want to feel like i'm part of the story oh yeah even though i don't uh you

know you don't look at the content i would watch porn it was just on mute and i would just scroll to the part i want yeah um however i just i want it to be realistic i want it to help inspire my imagination see i can't do that without context i so i'm jealous like i have to know i have to know if they're in love i need to know are these porn stars in love yeah or is are they in a relationship is this a teacher a teacher student situation i gotta know or i'm gonna color in the context and i can't focus on the on the orgasm i never think that's really interesting i never really think about the context that sounds because i'm like does this does it look like they're having fun does it look like it actually feels good yeah um and uh do does the woman also

come does she come first that's even better okay on that i have a question and an actual this is not a question like a thought starter do you think sometimes when women squirt in porn they're just peeing I honestly have no idea I'm sure in some instances I don't know because I know there's pee in squirt I well because if it's like professional porn I feel like there's something that they got to plan ahead for this somehow you know that's true maybe that's a skill yeah because like yeah you must be able to just like do it on demand at a certain point I know i also think that maybe it's not real like not necessarily pee but yeah maybe there's some stunt work involved i don't fucking know stump vagina yeah zoom in on a just a vagina mold

and it squirts have a little hose in there yeah that's a lot of squirt well so i like i was listening to daniel tosh has a i can't remember if i mentioned this last week he has a new podcast in the first episode he interviews his wife got his wife's gynecologist um and his wife's gynecologist is a gay man that's amazing and i mean he's like yeah he's like um is it weird that like you're gay and you look at vaginas all day and he's like it's definitely a topic at gay parties uh but daniel tosh asks like is it true that like any woman could squirt and he's like i don't know about that so who's to say i'm a gynecologist doesn't even know i mean yeah daniel tosh's wife's gynecologist does not know um that feels like a mad lib i i also kind of think like it

makes sense that he wouldn't know that or that like a gynecologist wouldn't really know that because they're more they're more so focused on the vagina's health rather than like yeah your specific sexual experiences yeah so i guess who would you like be able to ask about those kinds of things then like if it's not a gynecologist but like but just like yeah just not like by association yeah they don't just automatically know that makes sense so i need a new guy i know i like i like mine oh yeah yeah but she's always booked oh she's just like the hottest gynecologist in Seattle yeah it's a Seattle metropolitan area pretty big deal um we need to talk about Matthew Rife mm-hmm Matt Rife Matt Strife um because I know you've talked about him

before on the podcast right begrudgingly I don't admit that I did I don't necessarily I don't really remember what we talked about I know you were like he's hot or something I was talking about how the chokehold that he has on the internet which is honestly a good segue into what the fuck is happening right now with him i remember you showing me a video of him and i was like i don't get it really yeah well because i was and then remember i saw a video and i sent it to you and i was like okay oh it was just the one that i picked for you i was like oh my god i well i also think that i've never thought he was attractive um i don't think he's unattractive i certainly think he's conventionally attractive um he's also had a lot of work done so much

filler in that man's face yeah yeah he's got to pump the brakes on that yeah pump the brakes on the pump yep yurp nice and uh the veneers i mean it's nice to see a man who's had some work done and it's like done well for him but he definitely has like handsome squidward face when you said that earlier i was like fuck he does look like yeah well i i also think that like women who get overfilled yeah they end up looking like handsome squidward oh yeah the filters on tiktok that make you look like you like got work done i always look like handsome squidward on all of them the bold glamour one i hate that one i'm like wow everyone looks snatched and i look horrible yeah i yeah it really it ruined my day that day uh but matt rife so here's what's going on with matt rife

he is a comedian a stand-up comedian and if you've seen him on tiktok he kind of like blew up on tiktok for his crowd work so he got a netflix comedy special and his crowd work is funny yeah yeah his he he's like bread and butter it's just i think crowd work is very hard to do well so i think it's impressive that he's able to do crowd work well yeah i agree um but his stand-up special is causing a lot of controversy because he opened with a domestic violence joke and the joke is basically like he went to a restaurant with his friend and their waiter their waitress had a black eye and it was obvious what her black eye was from uh it was from abuse and they're like wow that sucks um and it's a bad look for this restaurant they should put her in

the kitchen and then matt says well if she was in the kitchen if she was good in the kitchen then she probably wouldn't have a black eye ha ha ha ha my whole thing with this is like comedy is so often offensive like that was not that like crazy of a joke to make that was pretty mild in terms of like stand-up comedians where people are mad is he I don't know if it's because he wants to be taken seriously as more of a comedian than just being a hot comedian and so he's trying to like alienate himself from his like literally 95% of his audience I don't know I don't know if that's it or what but he is doing so much work to make everybody know that his comedy is not for women he which is his base audience i know and it's like that's who's paying your bills dude it's

a little confusing because he's like well women only like me because he thinks they don't like him because of his comedy and they just like him because he's hot yeah and it's like that's not true first of all and second of all you did get all of this work done to your face yeah so i i don't know what what are you trying to i don't know why you're surprised yeah okay this this did a lot for you you look very handsome yeah um and not to say that he was unattractive before right it just you know probably gave him the look that he wanted to accomplish right and why did he want to look like that for dudes probably not yeah right i mean maybe subconsciously yeah maybe uh in a not gay way just in a patriarchal way where it is kind of

a little gay but yeah in a heterosexual way right you know what i mean yeah patriarchy is inherently gay uh so then he just like yeah opens with this domestic violence joke and um i think the outrage is coming from like his audience predominantly predominantly being women and you know what's wrong with having like a female audience um and uh a black audience as well because he is from wild and out so it's like okay you have two different marginalized groups rallying rallying behind you in your career yeah um and the the domestic violence joke is the one that is like circulating online yeah and honestly out of curiosity i was like i'm just gonna watch the special so i played it on my phone at twice the speed because oh my god i was like this is dragging

the fuck on yeah it was a really long special yeah i sped it up that that helped me get through it a lot faster i got through it in like 30 minutes um because i was like i want to know if the whole set sucked uh and it did yeah and and i wanted to come with an unbiased opinion um because i don't really care about this man um yeah i don't i don't know him i don't care about him um and it just was not good stand-up at all it was very lazy yeah the jokes were offensive yeah but but not they weren't offensive in a way where you're like clutching your pearls they're offensive in a way where you're like come on man yeah that's the thing it was they were low blows and not for the sake of comedy because they were not funny so he had the domestic violence joke he

also had um jokes about fat people he had jokes about mentally handicapped people yeah his apology link did you see that yeah so he was like if anyone's offended by my jokes um here's my full apology and then he like linked to helmets specifically for um mentally disabled people so i don't know i but his stand-up also included jokes like that yeah and i i don't know it was it was tragically unfunny it's he there was one funny joke that i actually did do you remember which one uh you know blow a little air out of my nose at um it was the one where he's talking about like jerking off in the shower when you're like younger or or something he's like you shouldn't be jerking off in the shower anyways because like of whatever it does um and he was explaining how

like the semen floats on top and you have to like get enough water and then he acts it out that was really funny i thought it was funny i thought it was hilarious he's like women aren't like laughing at this joke and i was like i actually think this is really fucking this is the only funny thing you've said this entire time because i didn't know that yeah and that's so fucking funny yeah like yeah that this is a universal experience for like men jerking off in the shower there used to be signs up in the dorms at my school that asked people to stop jerking off in the showers for that reason but i laughed i laughed at that too he yeah that was the only thing that i laughed at i it's it's all of his comedy that is scripted is so fucking lazy

like it's very like like oh like bitches are like so into like horoscopes i guess that's why they call them whores you know like shit like that it's just like he was like criticizing um yeah astrology girls and crystal girls and he is like that shit isn't in charge of your life your decisions are and it's like well yeah everyone knows that but like if this is how someone if this is something i just see it as another medium that helps people make sense of the world around them right and like nobody's looking at matt rife for decision making advice right now you know what i mean like he's single-handedly tearing his career down well so he's like criticizing that but then um he just the it was like a little hypocritical and then he ends with just like

this really long rant like the I would say this the last third of his stand-up was just like a long rant about being on the airplane and like being heckled about his bag being too big to fit under the chair and then there's like an overweight guy in the aisle see I don't know it was just it was like okay we fucking get it um and then he went on like a rant just about like people commenting mean things online and it's like okay so now the backlash he's getting as a result of his bad stand-up and him ending with that is just like pure irony it's poetic yeah he's like it doesn't matter and like those people are unhappy and yeah to an extent i do feel like i think a lot of people online are very miserable oh absolutely but i think this is a uh maybe you know the

outrage might be a bit too much but at the end of the day like you should still kind of be like were these jokes appropriate i feel like he ended his set with that rant because he knew that he would be getting this kind of backlash online he wants to like get ahead of it he's like see i already said that i don't give a fuck what you fucking say you know but he gives a lot of he give so many fucks every single fuck if he gave no fucks he wouldn't have all that filler in his face totally and he wouldn't be going on this like podcast tour the the tana mojo yeah interview like do you think that people were people were just jealous because he went on tana mojo's podcast and basically said people that hate him are are jealous of him and she was like do you

think that people that hated osama bin laden were jealous of him and then the clip cuts off and it's so that the comedic timing perfect yeah she's like funny i just have to have to take a second to think about that well-rounded answer and you know that he was like really thought that that answer slapped well tana has been like a controversial online figure for her entire career exactly well and i the thing i do like kind of love about tana even though she's like a little inflammatory um is that she has grown a lot oh yeah so i can totally see her like hearing that comment and being like that's so fucking dumb yeah like compared to all of the shit she's had to experience and the criticism yep so she's smart yeah really smart i i thought

it was like i her trying to process this and i i don't know i was just like i i know that's what you're telling yourself he's like anytime i've hated somebody it's been because i'm jealous of them i'm like that's that's about you then and also definitely not true oh you definitely don't hate people if you're jealous of them no um you're just jealous yeah hate is a a burning feeling so i don't think people hate him i think they're just like fuck you guy yeah i mean i said this when we first started talking about this but like i really do think what what he's doing boils down to like he doesn't want to be the hot comedian he wants to be the funny comedian so he wants to like strip himself from this image of being like

oh my entire audience is women so he's trying to push everyone away to try to like stake his ground as like a real life actual adult functioning comedian and in return it's just he's losing the people that like put him here in the first place so now there's like three percent of his audience left which are like shitty incel douchebags oh yeah that hated him before forgetting a lot of women he's fully going to go down this pipeline i think a lot of creators are going to do this in general of like saying something that maybe is like a little like not very woke and uncool um that will get them some solid criticism and they're gonna take that and go all the way right yep they're gonna like pander to right-wing audiences even if they don't believe it because

they can make money doing that it's so fucking sad like pearl i think pearl does that i also think pearl's gay i know i've said that so many times pearl is gay did i tell you i watched an hour-long documentary on pearl it was fucking fascinating i need to i watched someone break down that documentary i didn't watch it itself it was really really well done yeah um anyways that's a little matt rife recap uh didn't even deserve as much time as it got oh one last thing that pissed me off or not piss me off one thing one thing that i was like this is just lazy as hell his punchline to a lot of jokes was just i'll kill you yeah he's like he he goes on this rant and he gets all built up and then he's like and i'll kill you and and then like that's the joke i was

just like come on guy you could have had like a really funny punchline to tie in this story but it was just like i'm angry it was the cringiest fucking thing how he closed out that whole special with but what do i know i'm just a crowd work comedian and then drops the mic and it's like that was the worst thing i've ever watched so yes like you literally are a crowd work comedian and that's fine like yeah but i don't i don't know what's wrong with that like i think that's really fucking hard to do you have to be so in the moment and you have to be clever yeah that's such a that's such a skill it's like being good at improv oh yeah it's so it's you know what fascinating he needs to take a beat he needs to sign up for some improv classes because he wasn't very funny and

wild and out either no call him out and then move on yeah just be like that that sucked when you stop caring is when he'll actually do something i honestly think the best way to handle like a media storm kind of controversy like this is to not say anything at all oh yeah don't say anything because it's gonna die down yeah somebody they're gonna move on to their next thing and then a few annoying people are gonna be like hey I think my favorite instance of this was the mascara gate oh my god I'm sure I've talked about it on the podcast yeah and just how Michaela the mascara girl like didn't say shit she was like fuck you I'm getting my bag also it's mascara is it that is it really that big of a deal people did so much I mean I've heard the argument of why so

many people were mad about that and and I hear it just in terms of like wanting to trust the influencers that you've like trusted for a lot of things and feeling like they've lied to you about a bunch of stuff which i get it's totally valid and didn't deserve the outrage that it got it's mascara like it's when you look at it for what it is it's like are we really going on this long about this isn't that serious you won't be mad in a week and people are not mad it's like the try the try guys remember how big of a deal that was when that dude cheated on his wife we haven't thought about that in so long and in the moment it was like the biggest thing it's just this won't matter soon just breathe uh you don't know these people i i got into kind of an online

argument with someone on instagram and then he was like you're so angry and i was like i think you're projecting because this is really low stakes like what are you gonna do show up at my house to argue about this and then he never replied and then like the creator of the video liked my comment and i was like oh you did that but but really what are you gonna do show up at my house right no no you're not fucking better not show up at my house because i said joe rogan's podcast is bad damn it's not that serious no anyways moving on moving on we have a lot of really great listener emails that i think would be fun to read hell yeah hell yeah here's the mail it never fails it makes me want to wag my tail when it comes i want a whale

did you just join in on the mailbag song i had to turn a new leaf folks you know it's the last episode of the year oh my god it is damn there's so many endings happening right now this is the last time we're recording here because it's like kind of exciting i want to end on a high note before we come back um so i'm just gonna start with the subject line my mental breakdown after an sti diagnosis hi girls hope you're doing well um it's been a year since my last email but i know but know that i kept listening to you religiously every week a lot has changed since then i got a boyfriend and then she asked us to omit some information um which we will when we decided to make things official we stopped using condoms he suggested we stop using it and i agreed because

i also wanted to this is very important since then i have i started having cramps on random days of my cycle and an abnormal amount of discharge which was very uncomfortable inconvenient and quite embarrassing i went to the doctors at the very start of it and she convinced me it was just vaginosis i knew something was wrong and even pressured her uh to ask for sti exams but she ignored me and told me to wait until my annual pap smear i feel like that is like malpractice a little bit absolutely i also think this listener might be in another country but anyway she is uh this was in february my pap smears are in september months went by i kept suffering with the symptoms and she finally did the pap smear and the other sti exams i found out i have chlamydia

and low-risk hpv the hpv based on a mole i got a few years ago i think i have had for a few years now so i don't get it i didn't get it from my current boyfriend but the chlamydia for certain i've got i got from him we are treating it he feels like shit for making me sick which is in quotations um and even paid for my antibiotics and his of course that's so thoughtful oh my gosh as you know it's rare for men to have symptoms fuckers yeah so he had no idea he had it I truly don't blame him because I could have said no and I keep reminding him of this because he feels really bad about it the thing is I feel guilty and stupid and gross and irresponsible after all I have OCD so in theory it should at least keep me safe from stuff like this right but the thing

is OCD isn't rational surprise honey washing your hands 30 times a day won't keep you from getting STIs I also talked to my best friend about it and she comforted me a lot it's common she has other friends who got chlamydia and I know that but the stigma screams in our ears when something like this happens anyway uh just felt like I should talk to you about this because I listen to you every week and my brain counts you as friends who won't judge that's true but what I also wanted was to talk about this issue how can we avoid this stuff like when can we start dating someone like when we start dating someone new and we decide we're not going to wear protection anymore should we ask for each other's medical reports i mean it's weird right but also it's the safest

option i don't know i'm very confused and ashamed about it all hope you both have amazing vacations you deserve it i love you we love you too you too the national institute of health dot gov um estimates that 45 and 77 percent of all cases of gunnery and chlamydia infection respectively were never symptomatic and 86 and 95 percent of untreated cases of gunnery and chlamydial infection respectively were untreated because they were never symptomatic so i think that it's I bring that up to say there are so many STIs that are asymptomatic and you'll never know that you have them unless you get tested and that's why it feels so important to like when you're and it's also like I don't blame people for not doing that before having unprotected sex because

it is such an awkward conversation you don't want the other person to feel like you're saying that they might be like quote unquote dirty you know but like it is about your health like I when Frank and I first started dating I didn't want to have sex with condoms like right away and he was like can I get an STI test first just to make sure that I'm not like gonna give you anything before we do that which was such respectful king behavior not having to ask for that because at the end of the day it it's not just your health that is at risk here i've actually dated two guys and mr liz is one of them who like when we started having sex uh we they like brought their std sti screening it's amazing yeah and they're like well i have it if you want to check it and i was like okay

i mean thanks yeah i mean i at least they like send it and i look at it i'm like cool I'm like I don't have mine documented but I haven't had sex since my last yeah so I'm clear yeah um but I was gonna say chlamydia is super super common I like honestly it like kind of goes around colleges like so I mean I don't want to like project this onto the other person who maybe gave him chlamydia because I don't know if they had symptoms but if they did that's fucked up that they didn't tell him that yeah i also so i think the best way to avoid like passing and getting stis is to get tested when you start seeing someone yeah like if you do decide you want to have unprotected sex like i mean you should do it anyways even if you are

having protected sex for your own peace of mind um and anytime you start dating someone i think that you should get tested just so you know like I you know if anything happens it the the onus isn't on you you have your own peace of mind and you can communicate that to them and I don't think it should be an awkward conversation I think it should be like a badge of honor almost even if you bring it up first if you're like I just wanted you to know um I got tested recently because we started having sex and I like here are the results uh or like they all all my results came back clean but I can share it with you if you want yeah um so I think that is a really helpful way to kind of mitigate that um and I mean asking is also awkward but I also think it should be kind

of expected at this point I agree it's like hey when was the last time you got tested and it's not like i'm not saying i think that you're you know a dirty guy yeah it's it's just like uh i'm assuming you've had sex with other people and it's just smart for you to do because chlamydia can damage your uh reproductive organs even though that's the thing that sucks like if it's asymptomatic but it still can cause havoc this actually reminds me that was a fucking bar asymptomatic but it can still cause havoc i'm gonna start i'm gonna make a rap about sts um when i was in college i uh stayed in flagstaff for the summer and um one of my friends was up there as well and she was like seeing this guy and um she had i'm pretty sure she had slept with

like or not slept with i don't know she was hooking up with a couple guys that's college baby yeah um and i was like kind of seeing one of the guy's friends and uh the guy like got tested and he had chlamydia because he was having like some symptoms and the guy i was seeing told me about it he was like don't tell your friend but like this guy like got chlamydia from her and i was like are you fucking kidding me and i was like he needs to tell her and then he's like he's not going to and i was like that's fucked up this could really like harm her and um it's so fucked and then he was like i mean i told you because i was hoping you would tell her and i was like because i think he knew it was fucked up too yeah so then i told her and i was like this is really

awkward but someone told me well because that fucking sucks like that other all of these other people know information about your body that you don't even know and like this person didn't have the common decency to talk to you face to face about it that's fucked up that is insanely fucked up so i mean i told her and she was like obviously upset and um i was like i'll go to like urgent care with you to get antibiotics or to get tested or something i was like kind of i was that bitch like one of my friends needed plan b and she was too embarrassed to go buy it so i bought it for her yes yeah i don't know i love that i went with her and then she's like so ashamed it made me sad i was like this is pretty common so that's the thing though i feel like a lot of people don't

get tested period because there's so much stigma around stis that it's like they would rather just not know that is which is really fucked but i feel like it's like you know what i'm probably fine so not knowing is actually way worse it's just better to just kind of get tested well and yeah just be treated with antibiotics and then it's gone right chlamydia and gonorrhea are very treatable yeah yeah um fortunately yeah then she uh they just gave her antibiotics they're like why do you think they have that you have this and she's like um i had sex with someone who has it and they're like oh okay that'll do it i don't even i know they tested her and like came back positive but the thing about being in college and this happening is like you're still on your

parents insurance and you don't want them to find out about this so that was i saw that happen a couple of times where like people had some sti scares and they're like i don't want my parents to find out about this but i just wish i could go back in time and tell my friends your parents aren't gonna give a shit yeah like i mean they care about your health the most yeah they're not ignorant they know that you're having sex it's like that's what that's what happens yeah that's what they were doing most likely yeah and the thing about like you don't want to be shelling out like 150 dollars when you could just be like you know it's a little awkward but i i have an sti and i need some antibiotics so that's what this bill is gonna be if my college

aged student like if they it popped up on our insurance that they got an sti check i would be like so fucking proud yeah actually yeah like hell yeah but that's also i mean that's a generational thing too but yeah and i understand people like being uncomfortable not having that kind of relationship with their parents but that like like we just said at the end of the day they're more concerned about your health than whether or not you're having sex which like you said they definitely already know so just take care of yourself and don't shell out all this money for something that you don't need to pay for god i everyone every college person needs like some 30 year old to sit with them and and level things that seem scary and yeah shitty yeah because it's

not that big of a deal and you probably won't remember it in 10 years i don't remember a lot of stuff you should make that your tiktok brand you're a 30 year you're a 32 year old sister um mr liz asked me how old i was today why in what context uh i i don't remember why he asked me well because earlier he was like hey my mom wants to know if uh she can add your birthday to the calendar cute they they make like family calendars and like add everyone's birthday to it and i was like okay um and then he was like probably i don't know 30 minutes later he was like uh how old are you and then i was like are you serious right now you don't know how old i am and he's like well you're two years older than me and then he's like trying to do the math in his

head he's like you were born in 91 it was like he was his brain was gonna explode and then he's like I'm I think that you're you're 31 and I was like I'm 32 when does he turn 30 uh in January oh my god I know I was like I feel like I keep getting older and you stay the same age because I've been in my 30s for like most of our relationship that's crazy to think about I know yeah it kind of pisses me off I'm like can you get here already can you be in your 30s because you you've been doing a lot look at us in our younger men I know we're we're just robbing the cradle two years younger that wasn't part of my plan okay no me neither it just kind of happened for both of us yeah I actually uh didn't have my um dating profile set to that like his age for a while oh and then you yeah and

then I changed it because I like kind of started like talking to someone online who was younger like two years younger and then I was like forget about him you know what me too I was like you know what uh this guy's cool maybe other 26 year olds are cool and then I think I lowered it to 25 and I was 28 oh that's not that crazy yeah so um yeah that's how I matched with Mr. Liz damn i know he's very i was gonna say he's very mature for his age but i think he acts his age you know yeah he's 29 and he acts 29 right he's no spring chicken yeah he's getting up there and he's an adult yeah he acts like an adult totally and i love that it's just that sometimes he acts like a silly 12 year old a lot i was gonna say i think that he seems old for his age because so

many guys that we know are young for their age speaking of oh my god frank's walking in the door most beautiful man in the world hi hi how's it going cutie what is that the other email is this and i thought it was like a good thing to think about i think so too i read that okay um we'll end with this one we we have some great emails that are just uh we want to read them but um some of them are on the longer end so we'll have to do like full truly a full mailbag episode hell yeah um i don't know if our first episode back should be a mailbag but we'll see how maybe we'll see how we're feeling that day i don't know and if you guys actually if you guys enjoy mailbag episodes then we can definitely prioritize that yeah um anyways this one is just a short sweet one and

i think it's something like to consider uh and it says a note on episode 163 um hi ladies long listener i just had a small comment slash addition on the topic of scott pilgrim in the latest episode obviously none of what i'm adding takes away from the character being clearly meant to be an asshole but i also wanted to offer an additional perspective a lot of people relate to him in details that are not his insult parts but his potentially autistic traits i've seen a bunch of people who say wow i'm just like him for the same elements you described but i have long felt a connection on some entirely unrelated part and when i was a teenager i was also it was also reassuring to see things like that represented on tv such as special interests the

weird lengthy explanation of pac-man's name comes to mind or generally being very habit driven and missing a lot of social environments or missing a lot in social environments now again i don't think that justifies relating to him for other things or excuses uh excuses behaviors at all but i thought it could be interesting to bring bring in that extra point of view since autism is kind of its own special thing keep up the amazing work i absolutely love the pod it's a really interesting perspective yeah i thought that was good to keep in mind yeah um and i think like there should be like more autism coded characters absolutely that aren't stupid like Scott Pilgrim yeah no totally yeah that and also aren't like caricatures yeah yeah exactly that's a good point

yeah because that I feel like that is the representation that we always see like of an autistic character it's like they're shoving it down your throat and it's like a caricature instead of like a genuine representation have you seen love on the spectrum yes i i love it so i watched a preview and i'm like i need to watch this it's so precious australia new zealand and u.s i've watched all seasons of all of them it's it's true it's such a feel-good show okay should we wrap yeah let's wrap this is sad we're gonna miss y'all for the next month but also um it'll be a little nice i need a break yeah we both need it we both moved amelia's moving right now yeah tomorrow that's why frank's here to help me yeah amen well we'll see you guys in the new year

year of the girls year of the girls 2024 baby i can't wait we love you wow talk about ending on a high note I was like, I'm going to go all the way. Oh, you did. For the land of the free. Nice. All right. Bye.