The Hoely Hour - E166 I Lost My Virginity At Balto

Episode Date: January 12, 2024

We’re back at it again, somehow talking about our fear of apes, threatening incel livelihoods, and more Harry Potter fan fiction all within the same hour. We also read an email from a listener that decided to go and get their health checked out as a result of another one of our listener emails, which is truly the best thing ever. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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See terms. i'm ready to fucking rock we're fucking we're here we're fucking here we're we're we're fucking here we're fucking here welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at Liz Ball So Hard. You can also watch us on YouTube or listen ad-free on Patreon at patreon.com slash theholyhour. Check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com. Welcome back to my channel. I was recently

watching an episode of Sex and the City, and I know you haven't seen it, right? Not like a lot of it it's been out for 25 years so I'm sorry if you haven't seen it and you're planning on seeing it this is mostly to all of the listeners not necessarily Amelia but I'm about to have a spoiler oh um she cheats on this guy that she's dating Aiden and she it's like she cheats on him with her her ex okay big big yeah Mr. Big yes um and Aiden is like nice and normal to her yeah and then uh they break up episodes go by and then she like wants to get back together with him and then the way she tells him to they're about to go to her friend's wedding that she's in and she's like i cheated on you with my ex and then he's like uh i need to process this and she's

like you don't want to come to the wedding with me but anyways when they get back together she's like you have to forgive me Aiden you have to forgive me and she just keeps saying you have to forgive me and I'm like no he doesn't yeah bitch he could he could do whatever he doesn't have to do shit like where there's no apology she never says sorry at any point and maybe she does in the future but she doesn't say sorry at any point and Mr. Liz and I fucking hate Carrie Bradshaw yeah no she's an anti-hero she oh god she's so insufferable yeah she's she is an annoying character that's one of the things that i remember that really stands out to me about that show um speaking of cheating i had a dream last night that i cheated on frank oh no yeah and i had to

like dreams like that and then i had to i was like talking to my therapist about it in the dream and she was like you have to tell him and i was like i can't it's gonna ruin our relationship why do you have to tell him i don't know my therapist in my head thinks i must and then oh no no no i thought you mean your real thing i was like you have to just got back from therapy that makes sense why you thought I met my real therapist no no in the dream my dream therapist was like you have to tell him and but then in my dream I realized I had only dreamed that I had cheated on him so it was like an inception moment and I woke up and he brought me coffee this morning oh you're like I'm sorry I cheated on you in my dream yeah I was like I had a dream I cheated

on you and he like picked up the coffee and walked out of the room he's just kidding I've told you this I've had dreams where I like I I've like cheated on mr liz somehow with my ex and even in my dream i'm like i don't even like how did this even fucking happen because i don't like my ex yeah i just fundamentally as a person yeah that's good that even subconsciously you're like yeah what the fuck is happening you're not mr liz that that is what happens most of the time where i'm like with him and then it's not it changes from mr Liz to my ex I'm like I don't like you where's my boyfriend that's so interesting I I still have dreams about my ex I don't think that is something that nobody warned me about I have so many

that is the only ex I have nightmares about too yeah well that makes sense because that was I consider them nightmares uh so I have some topics I'm excited to talk to you about fuck yeah okay before you even told me what the topic pertained to I knew I just knew well so to update the listeners I finished Manicold before the episode aired I was in a mood um afterwards because it is not a light story by any means right um it wasn't as traumatizing as I thought it was going to be but it was still traumatizing I think I was bracing for worse okay uh bracing for like the worst case scenario because I'm sure it would have been beautifully written but um anyways I was bracing for the absolute worst and that didn't happen but

there were some crazy plot twists um that was thrilling but it's been really hard for me personally to recover from reading this fan fiction and uh I always assumed I think we mentioned this last week too i always assumed that fan fiction was like sexual yeah or like poorly written no this fandom uh the dramini fandom they have a name okay uh these stories are incredibly well written they're fun to read like so i've read more i am on my fourth one right now what holy shit Liz so I went through Manicold and then I was like sad and mopey and I was like I want to read a stupid one so I read a smut germany fuck yeah fan fiction um and before I talk about that there is a type of it's it can be in fan fiction but it's a type of I guess it's

its own type of writing um its own genre do you know what the omega verse is I have been I have been served a video about the omega verse and I tried to figure out what it was and then right when I realized like just on the surface kind of what it was I stopped reading into it so I first heard about the omega verse because of my job since I like work in social media you just end up seeing things that you're like what why yeah or you're like i i i know i don't want to know what this is but i need to know yeah yeah um so that was the first time i had heard of it and i tried reading it and i was like i don't understand any of this um so then i saw a tiktok that it was of this woman trying to explain the omega verse to her husband and he's asking like questions

and then by coincidence this fan fiction this smut fan fiction that i read is omega verse fan fiction wow of of germini okay um so i'm gonna explain the omega verse to you great let's go so can i just say before you dive into this how gatsby decided he didn't want me to say anything about this i need to hear about the omega he's like oh i'm getting pertains i am sat um this is the actual last thing that i would expect liz to get so deep into we went out on friday and just got a drink and i would say about 75 of the time liz was explaining the plot of manacled to our friend that was in town he was

he was interested in it he was it wasn't uninvited you know what I mean it wasn't like you were like but I just kept me and Frank would just like check out and start talking about something for a while I would go to the bathroom and come back and she was still talking about Manicold that was the happiest I've been all week

someone listening to me explain Manicold and he's a Harry Potter fan so that was and he's like I'm gonna write this down and tell my girlfriend about it oh yeah and I'm certain he did okay continue I'm just I'm I am in pure disbelief that this has taken on such a life of its own me too you know what actually i was

thinking about it as i was getting ready for you to come over and i was like if you had told me a year ago that i would like be really into reading like draco hermione fan fiction would i have believed you and then i would i think i would i think i'd be like yeah that makes sense I just like inherently love a good enemies to lovers plot that makes sense and um in real life enemies to lovers it doesn't work in my opinion right but that's what makes it so fun to read about yeah exactly so when yeah when you see it happening I feel like enemies to lovers it can only work if they don't know each other initially but I guess that doesn't apply to Drominey anyways um i need to explain the omega go ahead um so it has a hierarchical structure

uh and it sounds a little incel-y um and there's three it's not a good types okay um there's alphas betas and omegas okay so alphas are dominant um and then uh omegas are submissives to alphas and like they can smell each other's pheromones and betas are just regular people oh so uh it's very rooted in like like wolves i was about to say i remember when i heard about this it was like a wolf structure yeah and you're like i think that people who were just like really into like the lion king or something they're into lore like this to to this genre anyways um so alphas are are dominance looking for a submissive omega and then they have scent glands okay and they can like scent mark each other um and then the omega if they are like they have

female genitalia they go into heat and when they go into a heat an alpha goes into a rut so they can keep up with their heat so they're fucking a lot and okay the alpha if they have a penis um they uh get what's called a knot at the base of their penis so they it's like when you are having and this actually happens with animals i don't know which ones um it gets like engorged at the bottom so you it like you're stuck in there oh you're stuck in the entrance so you're so then it's just like a higher likelihood of pregnancy oh okay i was reading like the wikipedia of the omega verse and uh i guess most most omega verse fiction writing is well i guess is all fiction most omegaverse writing is like male and male relationships and um they still

get pregnant oh and give birth through their butthole oh so anyways that sounds like it hurts i happened to the smut that i chose happened to be omegaverse like based smut and as i realized it pretty early on and i was like this is hilarious that's amazing it's the stars aligned on this one yeah like i just heard about it and now i happen to choose a smut fan fiction that uses the omega verse structure and it was pretty funny and just the sex scenes were aggressive they were outrageous they were they were fucking like crazy in this fan fiction uh it so hold on you had mentioned it's like a little incest-y so like was there was there I had never mentioned that you did but incest-y yeah because I remember no incel

no there's no incest well because I brought I know the reason why I thought you said incest too is because the first time I heard about this was when somebody was talking about this like tiktok family i guess of people that like act like wolves and like there's like an alpha and an omega and a beta oh my god okay i've heard of a family like this and like and it's all dudes yeah but one girl who is the alpha's sister and she's the omega and nobody can tell if they're actually related but like whenever they like answer comments they're like no it's okay because like i'm the omega and like he's the alpha and so that when you said what i thought you said incest i'm like oh maybe it's just like a part of like the the lore the lore but i don't think i think

they might be siblings i don't like that i hate that either but that's what i'm remembering now that's why i stopped digging into um too much internet you just reminded me there that i heard a story of these people it's like a group of men and they have an alpha and the rest of these men are pups and these dudes are fucking jacked they're huge and they have like dog chains and stuff i think they have a special name for each of them and these are like grown adult men who are just like the buffest dudes ever one of the so the alpha was telling the the the pups his pups i don't fucking know uh to get implants in their balls to make their balls bigger and that is not like plastic surgery that is offered it's not safe and um yeah one one guy i think he got

like ball implants like that were very large i think that they were maybe the size of like a basketball something obscene and then unfortunately he died but oh fuck well you can't survive something like that are you kidding me people die from regular approved plastic surgery i feel like those the guy that ran that the the elephant that is from seattle yeah i was gonna say that these people are in in washington yeah so i'm i'm sure you can find it somewhere but anyways i guess it does carry over into real life oh but back to the regular omega verse okay they have these scent glands and whatever and then more recently like in 2012 the idea of like having like soul bonding or like a soulmate um became a thing so um if an alpha bites an omega

you're just you have more of their scent like you you're like claimed by them so other alphas have to fuck off and then um if they bite you during your heat then that's like a soul bond that doesn't necessarily mean your soulmates but you're now like your souls are bonded yeah question well i have a lot of questions uh-huh um i might not have the answers because i've only read one and it was harry potter it's fan fiction i have a lot of questions in the sense that like i don't even know where to begin but my my one question is why like what is the obsession with wolf structures i have no idea and i feel like most furries are like into being they want to be a wolf yeah like but like i wonder why i mean i understand that they have like a very clear

hierarchy one person saw balto and they're like that's it for me i was hard as hell i lost my virginity at balto shirts for the whole crowd i think we need to make i lost my virginity watching balto but like if you think about animals with like dope family structures like elephants are like pretty cool you know yeah like but nobody's like you know fucking around like an elephant family tree it's always wolves it really is always wolves i feel like it's wolves and then i can't even think it's like wolves and dogs and then sometimes cats yeah maybe because they're like no that doesn't make sense for wolves i don't there has to be a reason like there has to be like some sort of deep lore we don't know about because it just feels too

widespread for it to just be like a thing that just everybody has just automatically agreed on you know wolves i just feel like ever since uh like role-playing boards have existed this has existed that's so true it's the kids that never grew out of like playing house and they always wanted to be the dog you know yeah i mean have you seen that was me the tiktok it's like us if we were wolves and uh made eye contact oh my god the running the slow motion running oh my god this kind of writing can get really like fucked up um so in the one i was reading if an alpha uses their alpha voice they can control an omega and um and even if like an omega it doesn't want to consent so it can be like dubious consent or things like that oh my god

so it yeah it sometimes has plots like that damn i know the one i read was almost uh i'll just i'll just explain the premise okay um so the war is over hermione's going back to school to like she just wants her final year to herself and like harry and ron have gone off to be ors and then only there's only sometimes i think seventh or eighth year students i can't remember what year they are maybe eighth they're they're like 18 19 um and she's on the train and she's like why are some of these guys like way hotter and then uh she starts to feel uncomfortable and um she asks jenny weasley like why is everyone acting like something's normal because is it just me or like did these guys get like taller and like better looking and she's like

no it's not just you but also it's like a pure blood thing so nobody really talks about it because it's they're they're alphas oh so the boys who got like big and sexy are alphas and some of the names that may be familiar to you are draco obviously otherwise we wouldn't be here um neville becomes a hot alpha i mean let's be honest he's a hot guy yeah he really aged well um who else uh theo not who i didn't know existed until any of these fan fictions um some other guy i'm not doing a very good job anyways um omegas are very rare in the wizarding world and they're like the most magical you can be for being a witch or a wizard so hermione's scent glands are like growing in and she's getting like way too horny and she's like

to the point where she's uncomfortable and kind of like delusional um and uh professor mcgonigal who's now the head mistress of course she is like hermione it's come to my attention that you're an omega and usually this stuff is under control because uh it's not common for like a muggle-born child to ever be an omega um because it's usually pureblood families yeah and then um i mean of course yeah obviously in this dumb ass fucking idiot and then she's like well what am i supposed to do and then she's like well you're gonna go into your heat so we'll give you a special room and then she's like but you're gonna need to fuck somebody and then she's like i don't want to fuck anybody and then she's like you just lock me in the room during my heat and then she's

like i'll try and then hermione's losing her fucking mind and um mcgonigal's also explained like well most alphas have already like they've been raised in condition to expect to never meet an omega in their lifetime or let alone like be with one so when they like finally like can smell her they're like what what's around yeah all these dudes are like trying to get her attention and she's like you didn't care about me before anyways she is in her heat she's essentially delusional and like losing her mind and um draco has he feels really bad because she was tortured in his mansion by Bellatrix so um he like is sulking around and he's like I still have nightmares about hearing her screams and cries and then he's like no I think I am actually hearing it right now

uh and he's like I can't get it out of my head and he starts wandering the halls and then it gets louder and louder and he's like what the fuck she is screaming she's in trouble she needs my help and then he like breaks he can't get in the door so he busts open the wall and then she's like in this bust open her wall hey sorry and then uh he finds her in this freezing cold shower trying to calm down because she's just in so much pain so much she's in so much horny pain amelia been there relatable queen and then she just like jumps on him and is like licking him and making out with him because you have to mark each other with you have to lick your scent gland right i lick everyone i date i don't know why that's weird yeah and then he's like he's like this is amazing but then he's

like uh he doesn't want he doesn't want to stop but he's like clearly she is like having this thing happen to her and he's like do you want me to go get a different one and then she's like no and then they just stay locked in this room and fuck for an entire week wow they just fuck all over Hogwarts and they get a pass they're just like well they're alphas and omegas they get up they get up like they get a pass to just fuck and everyone's just like they're not in control of their bodies wait hold on but i just want to understand like honestly it was so funny to read they're like fucking in front of people no but like in like broom closets like where they could easily be caught you know empty classrooms and sure they'll

lock the door but so is this smut like pretty porny like how it's written absolutely oh my god absolutely i think the one that i read i think it's called all you want but it's by the same author who wrote manacled oh wow well that's why i picked it because i was like well i really liked manacled yeah so damn but this was this author is busy i know i was like she must be pretty kinky yeah no kidding um it's definitely salacious it's good word yeah i like it good uh it was it was definitely really funny to read just because the premise is like so ridiculous and then i learned more about the omega verse honestly i'm so happy that you have something benign to consume yeah well now i'm consuming a normal so after i read this smut then

I read one that was a little bit shorter and it's when they're in their 40s um and that was fun and then now I'm reading one Hermione works at like an insurance office she worked well she works at the Ministry of Magic oh of course and she's being taken advantage of because she like is such a hard worker and then people who don't want to do their work are like Hermione you just do my work and then Draco also works at the Ministry of Magic and um in that in this one and it's called the politician's wife uh he just reminds me of hugh grant oh and it's really funny like the way he talks um and then the one i'm reading now because i was like okay i was looking on on the germani subreddit okay and i was like i need what are some of the other top ones because

vanna cold is the one that like brings people into this like fandom essentially and the other top one is called um draco malfoy and the mortifying ordeal of being in love and i'm reading that one right now that's a good title it's really it's really funny and it's very interesting um it's like a mystery okay so i highly recommend it just because it's a fun read are these audiobooks too are you actually reading these um i'm actually reading well so i listened to the politician's wife on uh spotify and then um i i just enjoy reading more but it's just so much harder to like multitask yeah so i'm physically reading um the one i just said the mortifying idea that one a very long title um because i listened to manacled and then i kind of

regret it I wish I had read it yeah that's what that's what I was picking up on yeah so that's why I was like okay I want to just read this one uh and not have it read to me yeah so I can imagine it the way I want yeah make it a yn yeah your name no I want to I just wanted to imagine them saying their lines like normal yeah other than like this voice actor kind of like making the same annoying voice for hermione and i'm like she's not supposed to be annoying no she's an adult now right she was an annoying kid but who wasn't yeah exactly kids are justice for her ambitious children are gonna be annoying fuck justice for hermione damn uh but not jk rowling fuck jk rowling all my homies hate jk rowling all my homies hate jk rowling um so this the

omegaverse thank you for letting me just blabber on about this i just love how much you love this thing i would have never have expected uh mr list keeps teasing me about it um but the omegaverse somewhat ties into my second topic which will be dramatically shorter um you had mentioned other animals and they're like kind of like hierarchies like they don't have stuff like that so i'm just going to start off by asking you what animal do you believe that we are the closest related to um i feel like the common answer is gorillas bonobos specifically oh you you did you see the tiktok i sent you well okay we are most closely related to bonobos yeah but people believe that we are the most closely related to chimpanzees oh and um the tiktok i saw the guy was explaining

that um anytime a study comes out about bonobos like he said that christians do a lot to remove the studies of bonobos to continue the narrative that were related close most closely related to chimpanzees why but i was like i don't know if i believe that necessarily because they're they're they don't believe that in the the science they don't believe no i know scientifically right we're descendants of any animal right so what yeah why are they like so if they were um it's because bonobos have a matriarchal structure and chimpanzees have a patriarchal structure oh t so bonobos are um they're also the one of the only other animals that has sex for pleasure wow and dolphins mm-hmm that's right thank you 10 points to

your common bottlenose loves to fuck uh so when two like bonobo groups or whatever when they interact instead of it becoming this like stand down between alpha males the alpha females greet each other and then what usually ends up happening is they all have sex fuck yeah um but when there are violent bonobos so they only like procreate and reward um male bonobos who are like gentle and like caring um and then the ones who are violent and reactive they ignore them they're like social outcasts so i think that's really interesting wow that's who we're most like closely related to i like wanting to believe that we're similar to chimps i'm just like the people who believe that act like that too dude chimps are fucking terrifying uh gorillas are

terrifying yeah okay just for the record i just don't like monkeys no monkeys freak me the fuck no men love monkeys why for what because they're he's just a little guy no but he's not that's the thing they're they're very upsetting to see in person and i think it's because it gives you that um uncanny valley feeling where you're like why are you like a a human like cat almost yeah why are your feet hands yeah i don't like it just the way they move i don't know it's they're just like bigger stronger more irrational humans that you can't communicate with which is everything scary yeah and like oh my god there's something about you know those videos like when people have monkeys as pets and the monkey is wearing a diaper really freaks me out i don't like or people that

dress up their monkeys i just don't need a pet monkey no and they're always just like you also don't need a pet bird birds belong outside i had two birds growing up pepper and pooper it was actually pepper and cinnamon but then cinnamon just started shitting all over everything so we named pooper we named her pooper so it's pepper and pooper um but that i do regret having birds that was that was a big like life mistake uh what kind of birds were they it was a cockatiel was pooper was a cockatiel and i really really wanted a cockatiel because i wanted my family still quotes this a bird so that i can hold in my hand was what i said i want a bird so that i can hold in my hand they still say that so we got that because we got pepper first who was a canary and

you can't hold canaries and pepper made the prettiest sounds but stopped singing when we got pooper because pooper was the meanest fucking bird ever pooper got a sinus infection when we first got her and then we had to give her shots and so the only person that she liked after that was my mom and my mom was the only person that did not like pooper so the house and my mother were just constantly covered in shit oh my god a lot of poop anyway that sounds back to my hate of monkeys i see my ex in college had a full gorilla suit and he didn't think that i was serious about how much i hate monkeys and he put on the gorilla suit and jumped out of a closet and i sobbed for like a good like 10 minutes could not calm down scariest animals well and to jump out at you

that's rude oh my god they're just so the way that they use their hands reminds me of like a kid with jam hands you know yeah those kids who are always sticky for some reason yes you're like why are you so sticky what were you were you only eating strawberry jam yeah right yeah is that the only thing you're giving yeah like spider man popsicles yeah oh my god they always had red around their lips yeah from the fucking popsicles and their face is always kind of red yeah you know what i mean and they drink they drink gatorade like their eyes huge they all did that yeah why i don't know kids are fucking weird but they would always do something gross too like uh put their hand in their pants and just like scratch that area yeah or pick their nose

and eat it kids and monkeys man keep that away from me i no i don't i just don't it's just it's i'm fine without you know those monkeys like in i think they're in thailand that just like steal people's food and like their cameras and their phones and they like negotiate their cameras and phones for food you tried to steal my camera when i was in thailand i have a video of it i think i have a video of it on instagram damn i'll have to show you later i would love to see that that is scary yeah i don't like it well all of this to say that i think that if a dude is acting like a chimp and not a bonobo we need to be the bonobos and yeah just ignore kick him to the bad behavior kick him to the chirp it's so easy to want to be like reactive and fight back because that's just

kind of like how we're taught structures are you know if the more violent you are the higher up you'll be yeah in this and we like a hierarchy learn so much about wars and school and shit exactly um so instead of doing that the harder thing is to simply ignore them because if you take away their voice they're not gonna have any power so by feeding into it and you and i are not the best at this no and i'll probably never stop but never stop clapping back do as we say not as we do i'm trying to do way less of it mr liz is like should i just get you a beehive that you can whack at when you are feeling angsty just like instead of fighting online yeah see i you're making points because all it does is get me like

stressed i don't need higher cortisol levels i'd rather be spending my time and energy doing something i like instead of telling someone who looks like a gap tooth lesbian that uh their opinion doesn't matter on what women look like that's so true i get so much i've been getting so many of those people on my instagram recently i this i sent this to liz but this dude like sent me just this the whole thing about me looking like fiona from shrek and i showed they need to get another i know i'm like line can you like i'm getting bored you know yeah like tell me something find a new an interesting insult really cuts to the core like go for my character you know hurt my feelings like make me cry I'm waiting true

honestly someone calling me like ugly or fat I'm like okay I don't care yeah like I don't right I mean I don't believe you and yeah you're just being lazy because you think those are bad things well this guy I showed this message to Frank and he went to his profile and he had like his college football team and his team number in his bio and that was all that he had and so I wrote him back and I'm like oh coach blonde coach whatever would not be happy to hear about how you're talking to women online like I know your parents Joe and Ann raised you better than this and then he read it and didn't say anything and then unsent his message and that is just I've realized delicious the best possible rebuttal that you can do for these men is making them

making them fear for their their livelihood yeah because they think that they can get away with this shit with zero consequence you can't just be a piece of shit and think that you're okay we we talked about this a little bit like last week i it is objectively if you think about it it is objectively so strange when people like will harass someone because of how they look yeah they're like well you don't make my dick hard so that gives me the right to be mean to you yeah it's exactly right what yeah well even even just in like in life like um when you have like i don't know i i know people who get harassed in public because of how they look just by like strangers that's fucked up i'm like what why do you think that is normal for being

hotter for being unattractive to them for being unattractive to these people men i'll just say it that's fucking insane it's bizarre i mean i feel like grateful to not experience that but i also can't help but think like what why why would you think that's a normal way to behave it's objectively really fucking weird it is and embarrassing it's super embarrassing you're going out of your way to try and hurt someone else's feelings because you don't want to fuck them that's strange right and i mean obviously that's not what the issue is to its core the issue is that these people don't like themselves yeah so they like to hurt people that they presume are bad because of how they look back in february of 2020 before the pandemic

I was like going through a very bad breakup like it was like really in the thick of it you know it was like right after I had called like the crisis helpline I was in the thick of it and I was at a bar in LA feeling really really hot that day just I was feeling really bad about myself except for this one day I had flown to LA got ghosted by the dude that I flew to LA anyway I felt hot this day I was in a bar and this like 60 year old man was like wearing a Santa hat for whatever reason and his 60 year old friend was like hey come sit on Santa's lap and I was like he was wearing a Santa hat probably and I was like no I think I'm all good and they were like one of them was like whatever you're too fucking ugly and fat to sit in my lap

anyway you're lazy so one day that i felt so good it was like my like a little my little sparkle in the darkness of this of this whole existence that i was living and i got called ugly by this 60 year old man a 60 year old man desperate yeah for attention in a bar so desperate that he wore a santa hat isn't that but it ruined my day i was like who the fuck are you and now i fucking wish he would did you say anything back no girl i wish i had been there i wish me today had been there you know because me back then was like okay yeah you're right but like me today hell no dude would have been i would have given that man i would have castrated him i would have uh stepped into i i don't go there very often anymore but it's just like anger mode for me this i did inherit

my dad's anger um my eyes will shake and then i'm like oh that i turn into a dragon i was talking to my therapist about that today when i get really mad my eyes shake why i like it's like that's how i know that i'm like losing like control over what i'm what i say my heart rate goes up and my eyes shake and i'm like i'm gonna say the meanest possible thing that will genuinely hurt your feelings yeah well see i kind of wish i had more of that because when i get into that mode i like can't think straight so i just don't say anything i'm just mad well so anyway so we're it's a it can be a superpower but can also be to your detriment so i've learned to with with great anger comes great responsibility yeah i mean it took a lot of work for me to not like

to just communicate how i'm actually feeling instead of being like my feelings are hurt that means I'm gonna be angry about it yeah well that's growth that's pretty beautiful thank you well done thanks um you have topics for me well yeah I do I kind of I do light so we got an email a couple of weeks ago that we're gonna read but I read something on Twitter today that is related um this girl posted these screenshots from this conversation with this guy I think it's north or south carolina i don't remember which one but it was like north carolina girls like watch out for this guy his name is jonathan this dude was knowingly spreading hiv for seven months oh my god which is fully illegal yeah full but he was like

i got it from this girl on campus well so like she texted him i couldn't find i don't know if she deleted the tweet because i was trying to find it before we started recording but i'll try to find it again and send it to you but she was like i know um i'm sure you know why i'm texting you why the fuck didn't you tell me and he knew right away and he was like i'm so sorry like i found out seven months ago i caught it from this girl on campus like i really liked you so i didn't want to fuck up the like the opportunity to be with you and she was like well then why didn't you just like use protection like if you knew this and he had like no this is so incredibly selfish isn't that her whole life is changed yeah isn't that terrifying horrible yeah it's so

fucked up and selfish what has to happen in your pea-sized brain yeah i to yeah to be so so selfish yeah i mean like you're it's so selfish it's fucking stupid like you're that you're so stupid like it's just it's crazy to me that somebody's brain can be so rotted that they i hope she like goes after him legally i think she must be but she like this guy should not be out on the fucking street no he she posted his picture and she has a whole highlight on her instagram of like about him good yeah so i mean he's fucked as he should be not literally can we circle back to something um not necessarily about this specifically but like posting about stuff like that in um are we dating the same guy facebook groups i know technically

in these groups they say like don't talk about this anywhere yeah but the moderators are men pretending to be women at least in the ones in seattle and the shit i see are you fucking serious yes these and the and the men who are on it are like they will go and tell like the other guys or like other moderators will tell these men if they know them and then these men will go harass the women who posted even though it's supposed to be anonymous and then the women or like the women the moderators will like then like reprimand the people in the group for for spreading the information but it's them doing it t that's fucked up that happens that happens a lot in the ones in seattle at least and usually it's the same person who has like started them

in in each city but also the shit that i see on these groups i'm like yeah some of the men are fucking idiots but the women are dumb oh my god like what i just i saw one literally the other day that was like hey ladies i have a question i've been dating this guy in an exclusive relationship for over a year but he won't add me on any of his social medias is that a red flag i'm like bitch what huh i know someone like that i just like yeah what the fuck is wrong with you guys i'm sorry maybe that is mean or judgmental but we need to be a bonobo in this situation and not reward someone who is acting like a fucking chimp yeah i'm like the the things that i see some of these women asking advice on i just want to shake them yeah be like would you really

rather have this than like be at peace by yourself yeah but a lot of people have not been modeled what a what a good relationship feels like you know it's like they i think that people are so conditioned to think that this is just how it is so like they them experiencing this is just like well design yourself to misery yeah because you don't know anything else and think of how differently we're taught a relationship is going to look like like yeah relationships and like disney movies and whatever like you're just once you find the person that you love everything's gonna be amazing and there's never gonna be a problem yeah you're gonna find your soulmate and it'll just be so beautiful yeah and no challenges ever but that's not true it's like

you have to make the relationship that you want yeah so if the other person is not willing to build that with you i think that's enough of a if you i don't know if you're feeling if you feel bad in a relationship like why are you there no i know i completely think about it too like like men with porn addictions kind of being addicted to that feeling of shame and then for women it's the the feeling of like shame addiction in a relationship where you're not respected yeah fuck and those seem really like symbiotic yeah they do they kind of feed off of each other uh girlfriend with masochistic tendencies boyfriend with porn addiction fuck no i mean it's it that's so real i feel like there's this whole like never settle mentality too

oh yeah has been kind of to everyone's detriment because i agree you shouldn't settle in the sense of like being with like a fucking moron that like makes you feel like a chimp like that makes you feel bad about yourself you know and like you know doesn't fit all of these like very basic needs that you have you should never settle in that sense you should always go for somebody that you know like fills your cup in a lot of ways but I also think that this never settle mentality has people like having these unrealistic expectations yeah you think you're just gonna find the perfect person instead of like find someone that you connect with yeah and then figure out how to communicate together right exactly that's what I meant by like making a relationship

together because it you're so right like I think that's the thing that is to so many people's detriments of being like well I'm gonna find the perfect person but that doesn't exist no because no one is perfect and these people had an entire fucking life before like knowing you right and to put them on this pedestal of like you have to be perfect and if you're not I'm done yeah right no and like if sparks you're signing yourself up to be unhappy forever totally because yeah you're just you're just going to keep being disappointed by people because and is that how you want someone to treat you and see you and you have no room to like learn or make a mistake or like right learn how to communicate i don't know it is so fulfilling being with somebody and like learning

how to like work together on like making things work it's so fucking fun yeah like it's rewarding when you figure out a problem together yes or like if somebody's doing something that like makes you unhappy and you're like hey this thing makes me unhappy or like please do this thing it would make me happy and then they and then you like work out a way to make that happen together that is so like like powerful you know it's a good feeling but I digress I do I do think that like people have this idea in their minds of like if sparks aren't flying a hundred percent of the time or like it's not like fireworks when we first see each other then it's like not the right thing and that's just not the case I saw someone explain that um if someone gives you butterflies

that's a bad thing because I saw that too yeah I do like everything that guy was saying but then also everything he was saying I was like okay that's how I would I used to treat dating and then I did the opposite and then now I'm in the best relationship I've been in yeah yeah so I mean it's different it's going to be different for everyone different strokes for different folks well should we read that's a sex joke yes here's the email that i was talking about with that dude spreading hiv um the subject line is i got tested because of your last episode hi lovelies i just wanted to take a minute to say thank you so much for including your mailbag segment in the matt strife episode the email from the listener explaining her chlamydia symptoms sent me into

a cold sweat because they were exactly the symptoms I had been experiencing for the last month. Same weird cramps, same itching, same everything. It was the push I needed to finally make an appointment to get tested and I'm so glad I did. I just got the call this morning that I tested positive for chlamydia as well. I'm not thrilled about the diagnosis but at least now I know it's not all in my head or something worse. I had half convinced myself it was cancer and I was too scared to check. A word of caution to others if you choose to read this on the pod someday. Always use protection and test between partners babes I caught it from a partner who hadn't been with anyone for a while before me and he had some logistical issues using protection but that's

no excuse now I know and goodness knows I won't be taking that risk again thank you again for looking out for us hoes hopefully you're having a lovely break and enjoying the holidays with your loved ones I am so glad that you got tested I'm so glad that it's something so treatable like chlamydia yeah i understand the fear of not wanting to go and do it when we first read this the thing that jumped out to me is how like beautiful it is that a listener wrote in about getting tested and then it inspired another listener to get tested yeah and like that's all we that's all we ever want it's all we can hope for too it's just that connecting like creating a an environment where everyone feels safe like sharing that stuff with us knowing that we might

share it with everyone else yeah and it could really help people yeah that's so cool we're just the we're just the messengers yeah and um hopefully we inspire a fun conversation between you and whoever else yeah i mean that's all i can hope with my omega verse explanation yeah i hope you feel educated and um against your will because i learned about it against my will working and then it it became a source of entertainment go rub those scent glands over whoever yeah i don't i would never seek it out oh but after i was i started reading it i was like this is really funny hell yeah just having a free pass to fuck around awkward honestly that's beautiful and also oh yeah right sorry it's so ridiculous just the premise of like well they can't even control

their sexual urges so i guess we just need to let them fuck everywhere wouldn't that be such a beautiful world i mean i don't want to see it no but i want to be able to do it exactly you know what i mean i want someone to be able to don't they have invisibility cloaks in this in this universe i think only harry has one um yeah i think he's the only one who's ever had one well you should lend it to them what a bad friend of the uh the things the the deathly hallows fucking oh yeah and i only know that because mr liz and i watched the last harry potter movie around halloween oh yeah would you say would you classify because mr liz he's been heckling me a lot about my latest interest of the germani fan fiction

he's like why are you reading harry potter fan fiction i was like it's not harry potter for my any yeah i was like it's the same two characters okay it's not about any of the other characters that's okay and i just want to know who you agree with oh uh-oh do you think because harry potter is the umbrella you know yeah but it's it's different because it's the same two characters because i just like the premise of mysterious bad boy becomes mysterious good boy but who so wait so what are what am i what am i agreeing with like in what sect of this argument um would you say that it's harry potter fan fiction or is it its own thing being germini fan fiction you know i think all of it could be classified as harry potter fan fiction but you

don't subscribe to the whole thing no i don't want to read about any other characters and their fan like i don't give a shit about harry or ron or jenny i don't i don't care that's the thing i don't want to read about it i feel like i want to read about these two i feel like if you like really really hate all fruits except for peaches you're not a fruit fan you're a peach fan that's i like that i like that i'm gonna use that argument you're already here he's already crafting his counter argument yeah well technically it's telling all technically a fruit fan well but you're not i'm not a fruit fan i'm a peach fan exactly well i get my peaches down in georgia that's all i can think about millions of peaches peaches for free millions of peaches

peaches for me all right are we done a real song yeah yeah i'm done i'm i'm also i'm done when you leave i need to get back to my fan fiction oh my god well then i better get the fuck out of here i have the championship to watch i wish i was joking i am gonna be reading the fan fiction i'm about i got a box cutter today so i could make the um peel and stick tiles in our front entryway fit and i'm that's what i'm doing when i get home you just reminded me i ordered peel stick tiles and they were delivered to the wrong building oh no now i need to figure out how to kind of track those down either retrieve them or reorder them all right well thanks for listening yeah we love you our children

the way you're like i did that it really just hit that note i think season two is the season of beautiful outros uh-huh the best ones Thank you.