The Hoely Hour - E170 Home Wrecker Kink

Episode Date: February 9, 2024

In this episode we discuss the vast and inspiring potential of the world of sex position superheroes. Does Ariana Grande have a home wrecker kink? Spoiler: probably. We also read an email from a listener asking the million dollar question of where “the line” is on working through relationship troubles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hi, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Are you looking for a beach read this summer? May I suggest your big wireless bill. It's got suspense, mystery, a slightly flat emotional arc, and a shocking twist where you realize you've been overpaying the entire time. Fortunately, though, Mint's story is better. Every plan, $15 a month, even unlimited. That's it.

Happy ending. Zero tears. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12-month plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes.

May slow when network is busy. See terms. I cannot eat another one of those. You're going to turn into a glizzy, glizzy Lizzy. If it's a breakfast sausage, I don't mind. Breakfast sausage is so good. But I had like six yesterday and then six the day before. Six?

And then two and a half this morning because I was a little hungover. Welcome to The Holy Hour, a podcast about sex, relationships, mental health, and everything in between. I'm Amelia Sanson. And I'm Liz Ball. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at The Holy Hour. I'm on Instagram and TikTok at Amelia Sampson. And I'm on Instagram and TikTok at Liz Ball So Hard. You can also watch us on YouTube or listen ad-free on Patreon at patreon.com slash theholyhour.

Check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com. Hey. Hey. Me and Liz have been hanging out and talking for the past 45 minutes. Here we are. And now we've brought you into the conversation. Well, that's it for us. We'll see you guys next week.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for tuning in. Can I tell you about this water bottle I got? Absolutely. This is not sponsored, but I'm so fucking hyped about it. It's called Lark. With a Q. That's how you know it's fancy.

I got kind of suckered into it on Shark Tank, but it's actually incredible. So it is a self-cleaning water bottle because you know how disgusting water bottles get because of all the oh yeah bacterium uh-huh i'm familiar so you press it and then it's a 60 second cleaning cycle and you do it like this like a few times while it's doing that so it like it really gets the water but it's gonna get the water anyway you never have to clean it um and uh they donate one percent of all the money that they get to uh populations that don't have access to fresh drinking water hell yeah well you gotta love a company with a mission hell yeah so i bought one um and hashtag not sponsored not sponsored it's a lot of money i i didn't want to tell frank how

much i spent on it he was like how much is that i'm like what well now you need to tell all the listeners well it was 120 but here's the thing i mean people are killing each other for stanley cup so yeah that it's it keeps your water cold for 24 hours okay but it'll also keep your drinks warm for 12 oh is it does it have any lead no bpa free suck on that stanley yeah stanley i i have nothing against stanley me neither me neither i just you know i feel interesting when i don't like things that everyone else likes it's all i have in this world i mean that's all that a lot of people have is just being a hater yeah drinking that haterade out of their stanley or i guess out they're not stanley i bet they they have a knockoff stanley i have a knockoff stanley i i

feel like the appeal in my opinion is that it fits into the cup holder absolutely and my knockoff stanley does that my water bottle does not fit in the cup holder yeah most of mine don't so i make mr liz the cup holder he's a good that's great the downside is um is that he has to also i have to pay the water tax so he also gets to have many sips of my water okay well you know that's the way he drinks water is like how a kid drinks water until it's gone oh no i i'll get it gets to a point where i look at him i'm like are you done is there any water left in there yeah i get so mad i think he does it on purpose oh for sure he knows i get mad yeah yeah there's it's i i'm convinced that a boyfriend's mission in life is to just figure out something that bothers you a

little bit and they and just make it a bit yeah yeah drinking all your right well now he at least nose to fill it back up okay see that's progress yeah because i was like if you're gonna drink my water you're gonna fill it back up you need to fill it up because i'm gonna fucking kill you he does all of it he's a swiss army knife boyfriend yeah he uh he's the cup holder he's the cup filler uh-huh he's the heart filler i had a dream last night that um mr liz asked you to be his girlfriend and in the dream it was like finally like y'all have lived together he's not your girlfriend yeah and you were so amped about it it's like he finally popped the question good for you will you be my girlfriend yeah i mean and i said i'll think about it yeah i knew we should

get uh jesse lyons back on the dream the dream scientist that we had on um how many episodes ago was that like 100 so many so long ago we've lived so many life lifetimes um so i have two thought starter questions one of them is sex related and the only reason that I thought of a second one is because my first one isn't sex related so I was like well we do have a sex and dating podcast maybe my question should pertain to such but my first question before I had an awakening about what the whole purpose of this podcast is was you know how like artists have like riders for like when they have a concert what they want in their dressing room or what they don't want in their dressing room but no oh yeah so all artists all artists will have a writer

like like please have like um a robe back there for me and like m&ms and like smart water and then they'll like be sure that they have them in there uh-huh and i was thinking what i would want on my rider and like i would want a dog back there for snugs at all times i need a therapy dog yeah I would just want like a dog to like pet um and uh water and I feel like and maybe like turkey jerky but that's like really all I need in this life of sin you know what I mean uh-huh me and my turkey jerky so I was wondering what you think you would have on your rider like what would you want backstage I love this I love this question um I would want a turkey sandwich okay with what on it uh i like just a regular turkey sandwich so i like obviously the turkey but i prefer like

the shredded turkey not the kind that you buy in like a pack um like the i prefer if it's fresh from the deli right so you want deli turkey and i don't like the kind of like slices of turkey like that you would have on thanksgiving i don't want that no you want like thin slices exactly um and then lettuce tomato onion mayo mustard bread um sourdough nice good choice i love sourdough hell yeah um so i'd want a turkey sandwich and you know what it doesn't need to be sourdough i'm not too picky with the bread okay turkey sandwich uh and then i think i obviously water but not arrowhead or dasani i don't like those they don't taste good no and dasani has like a lot of like shit in it like that's probably why i don't like it no nobody likes dasani

and i i don't like arrowhead that one tastes weird too yeah arrowhead is like prominent like in a lot of places okay what else is that all you want a turkey sandwich in water no uh i also would like probably an olipop okay strawberry or vanilla which is what i'm drinking now nice um and maybe that's it hell yeah just like a solid lunch hell yeah liz i just need a meal yeah to be prepared okay for whatever's about to happen exactly and if i'm tired then i want and iced coffee nice cool i love that i've i've also never uh performed you know yeah so i i haven't thought about it before well if we ever go on tour we have our riders figured out yeah turkey sandwich i know this is not a teaser that'd be so sad if oh i forgot to include cheese

i want cheese on my turkey sandwich okay um i like provolone nice but sometimes i'm in a mood for cheddar sharp cheddar nice i'm in the mood for cheddar like money i'm also in the mood for that who isn't in the mood for money you know and on that note please subscribe to us on patreon i'm just kidding but i'm actually not kidding actually tell your friends about this podcast please yeah that'd be cool yeah tell them and then tell their friends to tell their friends yeah we're starting an mlm yeah right just get three friends if you get three friends to listen to this podcast we could come up with like fun little names yeah like you would be like the pope the only difference is you don't have to put any money in and you don't get any money back

but you do get our undying appreciation not that you don't already have it but yeah add money based done streams so yeah and then you guys can see more of us and we could do it full time wouldn't that be great i mean great for me personally i totally want anyways did you what what's uh oh my second question so when i realized that my rider question was not sex related um unless you want to consider the phrase rider to be sex related which it could be but i asked chat gpt i gave them a little bit of information about our podcast i said what's a good question to ask my co-host and they said if you could create an alter ego superhero based on your favorite sex position what would your superhero's name be and what would their superpower be wow yeah superhero name and

superpower based on my favorite sex position yeah huh well i don't know what my i don't know what it's called okay do you want to describe what we could we could give a name i feel like you call it like flying doggy style because you're laying down yeah one leg up oh the one that we yeah we've talked about it because i tried it after you told me and i was like this is the best fuck yeah the flying this is my favorite the flying doggy style yeah hell yeah um and her superpower is this is such a complicated question i know this is like how do i apply these this is the future we can expect when robots take over my superpower would be i'm trying to think um flying doggies going into subspace and yeah that's it hell yeah i don't know fuck yeah

smelling sniffing out all those alphas if we're talking dogs and omega verse yeah which i can't get off of well i mean that's the only one that i've read i'm sorry that was such a boring answer no i think it was a great answer it was a very complicated question well that's a that's a warm-up activity for you i it really got the noodle working yeah fuck yeah that's is that what kids are calling it these days mine would be oh yeah um miss missionary i'm coming up with this on the fly oh i definitely thought you would already nope you would think but no i read it and i thought good idea and did not miss missionary and her superpower would be uh preaching i don't know what missionaries do they do preach yeah i was like what what are you doing what are you

saying when you're doing missionary that you would be preaching yeah um i think yours would be um since you like to be very vocal um i think you would have one of those supersonic screams oh hell yeah or it'd be like a siren i could like control men just by singing my song you know what i would want mine i would just want to um you know what i thought it and now i like don't want to say it but now i feel like i have to you do um like to put out fires uh you could just squirt so much and so my superpower would be squirting drowning people in this pussy hell yeah i think that's what mine would be oh fuck yeah maybe like oh god is this piss i don't know some of it is some of it's piss some of it's you're drowning in piss um some people would like

that there's that nikki minaj lyric that's like i put put that ass to sleep now they call in me nike will i think that that would be a great superpower just being able to just make them all fall asleep that would be great that would be really helpful which would i feel like would also be what a missionary does and i also would appreciate that if i couldn't fall asleep yeah right absolutely so nice yeah fucking ambien fuck me miss missionary for president okay we can move on okay um so the next chapter of this episode is a listener email we wanted to read it last week but we ran out of time um because i just did not want to get off my high horse of preaching or was that last week no what it was two weeks ago what did we talk about last

week last week we talked about oh you edited it edited it edited it we talked about um men fucking couches and pringles cans uh-huh um that's all i remember really oh wait it's coming back to me how long sex should last uh-huh and foreplay oh uh the ai stuff oh yeah i pulled i literally pulled it up i was like what did i write the description okay anyways we're gonna read a listener email i just fully licked the microphone i mean you're using it so yeah yeah um the subject line is no relationship is perfect but where is the line hi ladies it's been a while since i've written in but i'm looking for a little advice from my internet big sisters i'm so sorry this is so long feel free to spark notes if needed i feel like it's it's not that long um over the

last year i've started dating a guy who was a long-term friends with benefits he kind of snuck up on me we started hanging out casually in march of 2021 three years ago this march and last summer got to the point where we were only hanging out with each other and started to grow real feelings I was super hesitant to commit to being in a relationship because I just wanted to date around and see what I like and explore. I wasn't expecting to fall in love on accident. We've been official for six months now, but I grew up in a hyper-Mormon home where the only relationships I'd ever seen were ones that were perfect, a.k.a. they hid all the disagreements, fighting, and differences and acted like they were the perfect pair that never had issues and were brought together by God. My relationship isn't like that. We have differences and disagreements and I truly

grew up thinking that means you weren't meant to be. After last week's episode where you talked about no relationship being perfect and it's about working together to make it work really got me thinking where is that line between we aren't perfect but we are good and can make this work and no there are too many red flags and differences here. We are talking about moving in together in a year maybe. Basically he is someone I feel like there could be a future with but our differences scare the hell out of me some big pros and cons in our relationship pros he is so respectful of me he pushes me to chase my goals he helps me with my adhd lifestyle and helps me keep things organized he adores my puppy like his own the only kid i ever planned

to have he fully supports my decision to be child free he listens to my concerns and helps me problem solve he goes along with my crazy hyper fixations and ideas like really all-out couples halloween costumes and he fully committed to when i got excited about it i think that's cute that's super cute uh he is really great about splitting the division of labor in our daily life like dishes making dinner grocery shopping cleaning etc when i voice a concern in our relationship he really listens we are both bisexual and very secure and supportive of each other in our sexualities and journey of self-discovery and now for the cons um cons we have political we have different political ideas i'm stoutly liberal he just kind of doesn't keep up with politics but is

open to hearing opinions when i need to voice them he has a short fuse when it comes to authority which has led to him losing a job before with a boss he is really he has really clashed with um he's a big video gamer to the point it sometimes gets in the way of life it can be a coping mechanism for him but he acknowledges it isn't healthy and says he wants to change he doesn't like the lead up into sex as much as i do he just wants to jump right in and even though he always makes sure i finish first and usually a field time a few times i'd really love more kissing and build up he is a little uncomfortable around my family because of religious differences and sometimes it's hard to hang hang with him around them but my family

is really close even after i left the church and then this is last one he is sometimes loud and obnoxious in social settings especially ones where he isn't super comfortable and it's hard to be around and sometimes embarrassing thank you so much for your time and for being a safe place for people to come and connect wow well my first thoughts are first of all it's a very good question where the line is I don't think there's really like I think that is kind of a blurred line for everyone it's different for everyone but my second big thought before we just discuss all of it is like the list of cons sound like you like they all have a butt with them you know like we have different political views but he's willing to listen and like um he doesn't like the lead up

to sex but he like does make sure that i like finished first and multiple times and did it you know it's like and then all of the the pros are all things that like thank god you don't have to teach him to do these things you know like because that's a lot of legwork like figuring out like division of labor and like like supporting you and like your interests and like what you want to do you know those are all things that are I don't know what like I feel like the opposite of all of the pros would be the line for me you know what I mean like somebody that doesn't support you somebody that someone who's disrespectful someone who doesn't want you to accomplish your goals totally totally someone who blames like ADHD disorganization on you yes um that's a good

point yeah yeah you are right all of these cons do come with kind of like a but yeah um I think the only ones that don't really come with a but uh we we can go through them point by point But in general, I think that in general, a lot of men are kind of like not really attuned to women's issues, especially in a political aspect, because they're not women, you know? Yeah. And as much as like personally, like as much as I would love if like Mr. Liz is very supportive, but he's not going to be as involved as I am. Right. and that's just kind of like that's how it is yeah i know that sounds bad well no but it's it's like he has less stake in the game i mean yeah exactly like women's issues are everyone's issues but it

doesn't affect him directly right yeah so when something doesn't affect you directly like you're more likely to be less involved yeah and that's always disappointing but um i think as long as they're supportive also it's so hard to be in a position where you are like trying to educate your partner on like intersectional feminism um do you know what I mean yeah uh because it feels kind of like a responsibility and it's something that is so emotional um because it does directly affect like your rights and you're like I need you to be as impassioned about this as I am yeah but um i remember just like when roe versus wade got overturned um my therapist was like well mr liz is like never going to fully understand yeah then and then i was like that's true yeah

because how goody like yeah but i mean like just the the want to list or like the the capacity to listen and like try is so you can't teach someone that so like when they have it that's such a green flag yeah rather than just being like oh it doesn't affect me whatever i don't really fucking care and i mean it doesn't say that he is like conservative conservative or anything um it just says that he doesn't really keep up with politics so yeah that's a little bit different because i do think that politics can be very exhausting yeah um so i can understand having some boundaries with being like i mean and that's absolutely a place of privilege to be totally be like i'm not even going to be involved because like my life hasn't really changed yeah

yeah absolutely um but i think those are things that can change over time like as he starts to see your perspective more and more over time um short fuse with authority yeah that's a rough one I mean it is but also it's one of those things that like I feel like having an issue with authority is common not that it's right but it's also like you can practice getting better at that yeah and especially if it's like a big if it's like a deal breaker in a relationship especially one that somebody wants to like actively work at then that's one of those things that I feel like would be easy to fix the things that he wants to work on he's gonna have to do that himself yeah and that's also really difficult like you can't make someone go to therapy yeah um you're also

never going to find someone that doesn't have something to work on that's like yeah that's so true part of the human experience like you know these these cons too obviously we don't have to deal with them it's so easy from the outside but it's like like i said if your pros were flipped and then those were your cons we would be having a different conversation here but these don't really feel like red flags as much as they do they're just challenges challenges yeah so my therapist calls a yellow flag i like that um i do think that the video gamer thing and the short fuse with authority like those are definitely things that even if he agrees that they're things that he needs to work on he needs to actually do it yeah and I think that

you need to decide what your boundaries are and I was telling someone else this earlier today like boundaries and ultimatums get confused often so your boundary cannot be you need to do this or I'm going to do this yeah that's an ultimatum you need to go to therapy or I am leaving this relationship um i that's obviously not a boundary a boundary is like what your limit is yeah if you're like it's not like a go to therapy we're breaking up it would be more of like a we need to figure out a way to manage your outbursts that help me feel safe in this relationship you know like something like that rather than like a fix this or this yeah how can i support you yeah like but while also keeping my energy protected that's yeah I feel like that would be

like an example of a boundary in that scenario or like a boundary for like the video game stuff like not like if you don't stop playing video games we're gonna break up a boundary would be like when you're using video games as a coping mechanism yeah like what things can we put into place that help you cope better yeah or like a boundary of like let's not do this on like one of our date nights like something simple like that it's just like trying to get those things in your ducks in a row with the things that he needs to work on with himself because like you're never going to change someone they're going to have to want to do that themselves like you said yeah so also i mean with the lead up to sex i feel like i i mean i don't know if

you vocalize that to him but that seems like that's an easy fix you know yeah i i think yeah if you say like what you need to be more into it because you want both of your needs to be met when you're having sex it's like an intimate thing and it's for both people because both participating in it so I mean I would at least vocalize that first I I think too this is kind of jumping around a bit but I love a sex debrief oh yeah like I love this part I also would like more of this like the context of you growing up in a family where like couples never fight is such important context too I'm so glad that you called that out because I think like a lot of people deal with that where it's like well my parents never fought so like if I'm fighting then

something's wrong and it's like every couple has issues no they're just repressing all their problems and feelings yeah I mean that's kind of how mine were yeah right it's and it's like I mean not a comfortable feeling how people portray their relationship even if you're so close to them is entirely different from what they're experiencing internally like a hundred percent of the time so it makes sense that you would see issues in a relationship and be like is this should i draw the line like we're about to move in together like is this the right thing well if you really think about it too not to i mean i don't know your parents relationship um so not to like minimize their relationship but when we look at our parents

relationships and we see like we identify like problems within their their communication because we ended up having to undo the problems in their communication um in in your current relationship like you can reflect on that and be like I am so thankful I have a relationship that is not like my parents yeah or like doesn't have this aspect that my parents had of like never fighting and Like, telling everybody, like, God brought you together. It's God's will. Like, you don't have to have a relationship like that. And I think that's one of, like, the best things is reminding yourself that your relationship is something you make together and it doesn't need to look any certain way.

Yeah. And Mr. Liz told me this earlier today. I think it's a good reminder. It was about something else. But comparison is the thief of joy. It really is. So, I think as we get older and as relationships become more complex over time, like, we're just expecting more from our partners than we used to because times have just changed. Yeah.

It's inevitable. Yeah. And the point of relationships previously were, like, for financial benefit and whatnot. Yeah. Right. And I mean, like, as, you know, women are becoming more independent, too, like, we do, we have to require more from our partners than just, like, coming home and having, like, expecting dinner to be on the table and the kids to be in bed already. You know, like, they're, like you said, times have changed. So our expectations need to change along with them.

mm-hmm what would you say about the the con where um he's sometimes loud and obnoxious in social settings um i don't know like it's it's tough because it's like if it sounds like it's like a nervous thing for him that it's like that's so tough to bring up because it's like because if you if they're already nervous right yeah that's like a delicate piece because then if you shame them for the their behavior of something they're already like anxious about yeah oh yeah it's a slippery slope it's also really tough because like i i dealt with this with a few guys that i've dated where it's like i i feel like i have to like referee the interactions with groups because like i brought him so i like have to be the one to be like laughing really hard at his

jokes so he like doesn't feel stupid or like warning everybody ahead of time like oh so and so is like a little embarrassing you know but like my therapist had to work with me a lot on like that is not your responsibility like you are a separate person nobody expects you nobody's like oh my god like she brought like this person she's the worst you know it's like uh he's like a little obnoxious independent of you like when you think about how you think about your friends boyfriends every one of my friends boyfriends that I have not liked has not made me judge my friend yeah that's true independently it's always just like this fucking bum that she's chosen to date not that this guy is a bum but like with my friends all of my friends are in this like period of life

right now where they're like dumping their bummy boyfriends yeah and I'm looking back on it now and I'm like I have never once judged them for the person that they've dated yeah never once well and then I also wonder how much of it is the the writer of this email how much is it more so how their own insecurities rather than their partner yeah so like I don't know if you might be projecting that um embarrassment because you're concerned how people will judge you based on your partner because I I know I've told this story on the podcast before but it makes me think about my ex he would treat me like I was being embarrassing when there was literally nothing to be embarrassed of like um the situation I think of the most is when we were at a wedding

with people that we went to high school with and then this group of girls like tried to make me feel bad like one of them pretended to not know me and maybe she didn't recognize me but all I said was like oh yeah we went to to school together and then how she reacted was so bizarre she's like oh my god i'm so sorry and i was like it's not a big deal yeah i'm not losing any sleep over it and then i was like was that rude of me because she tried to make me feel like i was being rude by just being like oh no i know you i did not overthink it but then my ex like overheard these girls like then being like go pretend you don't know her and introduce yourself and he like was embarrassed to be with me even though i was not the one who was behaving

embarrassingly so sometimes like how i know so like sometimes how one person is acting is based on their own fear of what the is the status quo yeah and sometimes that's fucking bullshit because these adult women were trying to like bully me yeah which is objectively embarrassing on their part yeah and i took away their opportunity to do that yeah yeah so they were they weren't very happy about that good they don't deserve happiness um yeah so i just i wanted to argue maybe the other side of that like is he actually being embarrassing or are you just like being overly sensitive to what other people's opinions might be totally and that's what like goes along with what i was saying too in a way of like it's it really is

just about managing yourself in the situation because like you don't want to make him change who he is yeah but also maybe maybe it would help i don't know if you're asking for advice for these cons i don't think you are but like maybe it would help to like bring up like to him like you seem like a little like like nervous in social situation can i do anything to make you feel better in those situations because then he'll know that like it's something that you've noticed like this is i mean this is what we've been saying the whole time all of these feel very manageable they're not like trying to teach a man how to be a good partner it's like trying to kind of tie up loose ends we all will always have some cons that like we just have to figure out how to manage with our

partner that period nobody's perfect we all are coming into relationships with a bunch of baggage and skeletons and just like our own life stuff and then it's just about trying to like iron them out together and figure out how to like coexist with all of this I think my overall conclusion of like where is the line because as you were saying it's going to be dependent on you and your partner and the relationship but where I think a solid line is is if you cannot overcome challenges together yes like if you don't know how to like some people say like if you don't know how to fight or if you don't know how to argue together whatever like that's not my management style of how I like to handle challenges um in the way that like

you you figure it out together how you want to manage conflict because if you can't overcome conflict if one of you is always the victim and one of you is always wrong that's just not a sustainable relationship no I'm some people argue and fight more than others and that's normal to them as long as it doesn't like impact like your overall well-being and happiness yeah because some people like to argue yeah but I think just not being able to resolve conflict together in like a way where it's like a win-win type situation or where you both feel like you were heard yeah and that you were able to like find a resolution together and there i mean there's always going to be times where not both of you are happy but where you're able to find a resolution yeah right so i

think that's more so where i would say the line is because you also don't want to be in a relationship with anyone that you can't productively resolve conflict with no so if you continue to have problems over and over and over again and then they never seem to improve that's when you need to reflect and be like do i want to keep doing this forever yeah i think that's a great line yeah cool period um so we've talked about this briefly but this is an interesting uh angle on it have you heard ariana grande's new song yes and yeah i listened to most of it i liked it but i also didn't really listen to the words and i thought it was i was like whatever i like the music video a lot um but the title of this article it's unmatchable it's tiktokers say

ariana grande has a homewrecker kink what is it which i've never heard of which makes sense i mean i've like heard of like i guess infidelity kinks like or like the idea of like oh like i hope i hope your wife doesn't find out about this you know but like not actually a homewrecker kink you know yeah she apparently addressed the whole Ethan Slater thing in the song with the lyric um your business is yours and mine is mine why do you care so much whose dick I ride which is nuts given the man was married and just had a whole ass child do you think we need to debrief the situation with our listeners yeah we we have in the past but it might be worth talking about again just as a reminder ariana grande was married to a guy i think he like worked in real

estate he just he looked like healthy pete davidson mixed with her brother yeah um and then she was filming the wizard of oz with oh sorry wicked which is about the wizard of oz yes so i'm not wrong yeah you were she's filming wicked with um ethan slater as one of her co-stars and ethan slater is this guy who has been in broadway musicals including spongebob the musical um as spongebob and he looks exactly like you would expect someone playing he looks like yeah if spongebob were a person yeah um so except a little less cute i feel like spongebob would at least be like a little cuter yeah in a more endearing kind of way look a little more alive yeah exactly yeah yeah uh both ethan slater and ariana grande look like embalmed they that is the perfect way to

describe it they literally do they look like they had the color sucked out of them yeah anyways she essentially broke up this marriage with this man and his wife who had just had a baby and they had been together for like 10 years yeah and now ethan slater and ariana grande are dating yep it seems and she'll break up another marriage yeah this is certainly this is not the first time that this has happened to um it's kind of a history of it yeah right like big sean and naya rivera uh-huh kazzy david and pete davidson yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so apparently this is known as a homewrecker kink uh it's when people are turned on by the thought or act of tempting people who are already in a committed relationship and or having sex with them we don't know if

grande has a homewrecker kink and none of the rumors about her extra marital existential and none of the rumors about her extra marital affairs have proven to be true but they spread so far and wide that grande addresses them directly in yes and so okay so this article they talked to sex and relationship therapists and saw what they have to say about it and like is this a kink or is this daddy issues well so they say it's a kink but it's niche it's a very niche and it's a kink because it's taboo yeah and um it can be very exciting and sexually stimulating that's so true it would be very exciting because it's like wrong right it's the appeal is passionate being so incredibly desired that someone would cheat on their partner for you like they'd risk everything for you like

that's the that's the appeal um it's also worth noting that the research that these therapists have done are like very much so on straight couples because it's mostly straight people that are engaging in fidelity yeah because like and they said this isn't to say queer people couldn't be involved or with or within other communities but heterosexual relationships seem to be where it's most prevalent um this is possibly due to heteronormative scripting which is very present in the way we talk about homewrecker kinks scripting refers to the ways we articulate cultural norms um this relates to homewrecking and by extension homewrecker kinks because the way we talk about cheating is very gendered homewrecker is an insult usually directed at

women while men are usually forgiven and not as often accused of homewrecking that's so true yeah i've never heard of a man being referred to as a homewrecker yeah isn't that interesting wow and then it's always like the other woman yeah you don't ever hear like the other man no right it's just this slut cheated on me yeah right yeah they also say plus gay lesbian and bisexual people are less likely according to one study to conform to gender roles in their lives including archetypal archetypal why does that feel wrong because it sounds weird but i i believe you're saying it correctly archetypal ideas about marriage they're also more likely to experiment with consensual non-monogamy according to the study of the journal of bisexuality so it may just be the

danger of homewrecking is less of a big deal in these spaces but it's interesting something i'd never thought of but makes so much sense there's also um ways to make this uh to fulfill this kink for yourself without actually having an affair which is just like being like a third or um like being with someone in an open relationship yeah or uh just like pretending like role playing because something like that is so harmful yeah you really fuck up lives yeah it's harmful to you it's harmful to the person that you're having an affair with and then it's harmful to that other person and potentially their children yeah it's i don't know yeah and if you're if you are cheating on your partner stop it yeah knock it off no um break up with them break up with them

nobody's making you be in a relationship yeah and if you're afraid to be alone that's a you thing that's it that's a you need to sit with yourself and be like why don't i like myself enough to be alone try therapy maxing yeah oh speaking of maxing i sent amelia a tweet and it was like screenshots of dudes saying like i've been diet maxing but it's just anorexia they're just not eating do not do that yeah i i don't i know someone who did that and i was like you can fuck up your body yeah like he wouldn't eat until he was hungry like or no until he got a headache yep if he didn't eat until he was hungry that'd be normal yeah right no he wouldn't he would eat all day until he got a headache that's so it's so scary or like you feel like

you're about to pass out it's really damaging on your body yeah but i also was like one of the comments was like why i like it's sad that they're renaming anorexia to feel more masculine yeah because that's something that you would qualify as like a women's problem yeah anorexia and bulimia yeah but we literally watch gym bros do it all the time manorexia and bulhemia oh shit there how's that for did you just come up with that on the fly oh my god you're genius thank you so much diet maxing who yeah i got you on the rebrand god it does make me really sad though no it's it's sad and it's yeah it's sad it's scary it's i mean eating disorders are never it's like we can i know that we're not but like we could make fun of these fucking maxing idiots

all day like this is that's a scary thing to go through because eating disorders don't get talked about a lot in especially yeah with men with men but I I can think of four dudes just sitting here right now that I know that have had eating disorders oh yeah that's a big that's too many and that's just dudes I know yeah I recently was overhearing um it was they were people talking about I think this was in a public setting like I don't think I like heard this on tiktok or something but they were talking about um what's his fucking name wolverine hugh jackman his routine for wolverine uh is essentially starving himself but then on like filming days he doesn't drink any water he dehydrates himself because that makes you look

more muscular and then oh and like vascular too that makes sense and then he'd be like about to faint be ready to pass out on set what the fuck man i know i'm just like this is we need to i just want everybody to to like themselves yeah even honestly even the people who suck i want them to like themselves they suck because they don't like themselves right so if they like themselves there would be nobody that sucks as my therapist would say just take a few deep breaths and send them some compassion because they don't like themselves pass that's sad i know sometimes i'm like nah fuck them they deserve none of my compassion yeah i hope they're sad forever no fuckers nobody it's so much less insufferable if they like felt good about themselves yeah yeah a hundred

percent yeah nobody is like that and happy which is sad anyways but anyway on that high note reach out to a manorexic or a behalemic yeah bohemic near you near you all right cool well this has been um an interesting episode wild ride we have really run the gamut yeah we're both running out of steam my eyes are closing i even took a nap wow i haven't eaten dinner yet though that's why i did the the liz classic ate a pb and j before you got here it's really good uh i had a smoothie and then a handful or several handfuls of peanut butter pretzels oh fuck yeah all right well thank you for listening we love you our children i really felt that one in my soul honestly that was probably one of our better ones

well i i mean i think all of them are the better ones there's two kinds of good ones the ones that are like especially obnoxious yeah or the ones where it actually sounds kind of nice which one was that uh i think that one actually sounded kind of nice and had a nice little touch of obnoxious sprinkled in yeah yeah as a treat Thank you for watching.