The Hoely Hour - E176 Burning Questions, Featuring Frank

Episode Date: March 22, 2024

While Liz is on vacation with Mr.Liz, Amelia has roped Frank into cohosting a mini-sode! Through the horrible microphone quality (Amelia is technologically useless without Liz), Frank answers a few of your burning questions and discusses the apex of American Television, Vanderpump Rules. We also read an “Am I The Asshole” from a woman with a piece of shit husband. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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May slow when network is busy. See terms. oh my god jesus dude you're like a fucking balloon like like like it's it's like when it's like when a kid gets a whoopee cushion and just does it too hard you know it's it's yeah of course it's a stinkerton it's been cooking in there for fucking days it's like a little easy bake oven welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia sanson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson

and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com thank you so much for joining no thanks for having me this is so exciting last time we did this we were in like the first few months of us dating absolutely and now we um we're roommates we're roommates 373 linden avenue north it's not our address can you imagine send us mail whose address was that i just picked a random address okay yeah i just i wanted to get creative i had i didn't know what to talk about with you today because we kind of always talk about things

and i don't know what it's like when we have an audience you know yeah it's odd right it's like It's like, it's like that, uh, if there were cameras inside of our house, what would they think? Yeah. And what would they think? I, you know, they would, they would probably think that, um. These people sure fart a lot. Yeah.

They would think that. They would think, wow, that the girl farts a lot, but yells at the guy a lot for his farts. I think there would be a lot of like team, whatever, you know, team me shirts. You think so? Yeah. I could see that. Well, they don't have to live with your farts 24 seven.

Well, in the context of the farting, you're a great roommate. Just it's the farting that I want equality for. Right, right, right, right. Well, we have to have some strife in our relationship. Yeah, that's what it is, is that we have disagreements on farts, and I think we're in a good place. Yeah. You know, my parents couldn't agree on anything.

You know, they still can't. Yeah, so we're beating them there. That's true. Good for us, babe. We did it. Oh, that was a good smack. I'm proud to announce that me and Frank are brand new parents. Yeah.

We got two goldfish. Two goldfish. They're in our house. Can you say their names? Because I don't know how to say them. We've got a Babak and Akhtar. Amazing. Yep.

Those are some traditional Iranian names. And they are beautiful. Look at them. They live better than us. They actually do. They do. They have... We don't need to get into it, but I got a little over the top.

I had to talk about it in therapy yesterday. it was a whole a whole thing some well accommodated fish yeah amen if you will um this is probably going to be a mini sewed because um okay and frank is going to pour himself some scotch yes it's a classy this is his holy water it's wednesday after all i hope it did nice little pop um i didn't know what to talk about with frank this week so i had y'all ask him questions we got a lot of really good questions i don't know that's what i've been told you are you scared at all no man i've had uh slippers thrown at me by my mother nothing can scare me you know at this point i'm i've seen it all that's why you're you're um well

adjusted for yeah yeah for i can deal with your with your gas shaming yeah um i have my own question oh where is kate middleton i think she's uh gonna be dating quavo that's what i heard on another podcast i'm not gonna say the podcast it's a really good one but uh she the word on the street is bbl and then she's gonna stick it to the royal family and date quavo i do want to point out that i just got off of the phone with liz and she had to walk me through all of the tech that we are dealing with today so if we sound a little bit different it's because i i'm really doing my best over here absolutely it was it was uh touching the watch you know yeah just the chemistry between you two thank you do they know you guys are friends outside of this yeah okay

cool yeah it's not just this like business arrangement that they have no that's my fucking girl it's like mike and uh mike and mike on espn where they would do this radio show every single date for like 20 years and then like the last five years they wouldn't even look at each other they wouldn't even talk that's so sad i'm gonna ask you some questions i'm gonna start with some softball ones i love softballs what's your favorite color purple um you're not gonna ask what kind of purple i already i mean sure that's true they don't know what kind of i like i like i like a purple that has like i'm more on the bluer side of purple and it's more purple than blue don't get me wrong i never liked blue like that but like purple is a spectrum this is

everything i like purple more on the blue spectrum than on the red spectrum okay and then and then like there is a white black spectrum of you know lightness like you go more white on the purple you go towards lavender but then you can go on more towards the blue side but more blue purple okay you shouldn't have given me a platform to get my shit off no i'm i'm for one loving this um somebody asked has he seen your high school theater recordings yet absolutely on her on her 30th birthday i watched uh her dad put together a really nice montage of like the life of amelia it was beautiful it was really touching and it's like amelia at every phase of her life when we got to high school we got to see all of the theater

plays and i got to watch her perform cpr on a fish uh-huh it was really good that people still talk about that the the my relationship on stage with with fish it's me i'm people i've always wanted to do that somebody asked i want to hear frank tell us about the absolute coolest thing that he's ever done slash has happened to him i think my life has been this collection of a bunch of random like nothing too crazy little things happening that i'm just like i look back i'm like Oh, that was odd. Like, I remember as a kid, me and my dad would go to Johnny Rockets every single week. The Johnny Rockets on, I want to say, like, Santa Monica and Cannon.

It's not a fat burger or something. But it's a classic spot. And one day we're sitting at the counter and this guy is sitting next to me, the big face, talking, talking the whole time. I'm like 11 or 10. i'm like whatever i had insane social anxiety as a child it's eating with my dad and my dad and the guy leaves and my dad's like oh that was jay leno no fucking way and this is shit like that would happen i guess like i i saw i used to see drake at the mall every now and then like early drake like like before nothing was the same like going down the escalator

yeah weird i i grew up in a very um in a very like in a town where a lot of celebrities happen to be yeah but when you grow up there you don't really know anything else so we're just like oh like it wasn't even we just we would see random right it wasn't like a whole it wasn't a thing i'd see kobe and shack outside of my mom's office walking down the street what the fuck yeah just walking why haven't why didn't i know that i can't believe i've never heard the the yeah it was weird i didn't even know it was but you know these things would happen frequently so i don't know that's cool but like it's it's it's all part of like a bigger story i don't think i think it's very cool i don't know what i've done that's cool you know i guess i moved here i was cool

that i mean i think that's pretty cool with whatever fit in my car somebody actually a lot of people asked what your curly hair routine is uh i use the um head and shoulders almond because i got a dry scalp um and then i use a function by uh what's it called uh target it's like their own brand of conditioner it's really good because i have one for curly hair but nothing else i just got good genetics on my mom's side hell yeah so we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna rock this baby till we can't rock it no more you have great hair thank you you should have seen his hair when he was younger it was like down to his down to my nipples it was past the nipples yeah holy shit yeah yep wow somebody said we love frank not a question oh thanks somebody when i tell you so

many people ask about your your curly hair routine it's like i would say like 40 of these questions isn't that crazy i don't want to cut it i'm gonna be a be bald someday it's gonna happen it was the male pattern baldness runs rampant on my mom's side so i'm just enjoying this while i can you it's been it's hanging on what you have a good hairline plus i gotta like i gotta like get you to commit long term before i you know i love you even when you're bald you know we'll see oh my god uh this is kind of an interesting question that's not specific to you or us but just asking you for advice in general oh that's advice for me how do you handle an ex infiltrating your social group and not giving you space um oh shit you gotta kind

of act like they're not there that's what i did but then the problem was they very they made themselves very very very very very prevalent yeah um so the thing is there's like uh in in my experience like you don't have to like hang out or you know you can be kind of cordial in like sharing a circle you know as long as everyone's on the same page you don't have to like talk to this person you don't even have to be this person's friend if you're like sharing like social settings but when they cross the line and like that line changes depending on who's who my line is what happened to me was ridiculous i think i've told you yeah yeah we don't need to air that out here um that's when you have to kind of hunker down but i don't know it's like a

personal thing i'm not this isn't a good answer i gave but no i mean i think it is it's like you just i guess my advice would be to just like level set with your friends since it's your friend group that they're infiltrating like just kind of have a conversation with the people a few people in the group that you trust or one person in the group that you trust and say like how you're feeling about it and maybe like try to figure out ways to make sure that your ex isn't invited to things when you're going to be there like if you need that space oh i'm sorry if it's your friend group like yeah man like you you if it's your friend group and you don't want that person coming around and you should tell your friends that and like if it is your friend group they'll listen and like

they will they'll make it work yeah but if you don't care then then you can't get mad if because i've been on the one end where i'm like i truly don't mind like yeah i'll hang out and i've been on one end where i'm like please for the love of god don't let this person here because i don't want my you know they they make me very uncomfortable and your friends understood that oh absolutely yeah it's when that person starts to not listen to anybody and show up anyways yeah then there's a real problem on your hands but thanks for the advice cutie yeah he said english isn't his first language what is where is he from i'm intrigued farsi i'm the son of iranian immigrants so i'm iranian persian if you want to get way specific so yeah that's i persian was my

first language farsi i love hearing him speak farsi when we go to the persian market yeah and just like talking to the people at the persian market i'm like oh i curse the dog out in farsi yeah i'm learning things yeah yeah so farsi's first language so shout out iran happy new year thank you what is frank passionate about that's an interesting question okay so that's like multi-faceted right yeah there's like there's a couple sides to that there's like long-term stuff where like it's i'm really passionate about like my culture of like persian culture which i just find so fascinating because it's like so ancient and like there's just so much behind it and i'm the first one not to be born there so i'm really in touch with that and then like long term this

sounds so like gary vayner gary v talk but like long-term goals or objectives not necessarily the goals but I love the like process the like everyday chip away which is like you know that it's for any skill like I love sucking at something and then getting really good at it over like a long amount of time yeah and then the third thing is I just latch on to like new fix like right now like I just latched on to like drinking scotch and like I've become so rabbit hole into that like not even to like get drunk and you see me yeah just a couple pours little pours a day and just i taste it and i drive you nuts about it no it'll be like a really intense part of a television show we're watching it'll turn to me he's like i taste seawater yeah no that's cool

and but the thing is and you'll see it's just like i get like like this will probably be a thing for life because it's just fun yeah but like i will find like little things and then just go all the way deep in them right now it's that but i don't know if that answered the question there's levels to it i feel so self-important now we're just talking about me no i love it people have a lot of people my day was good okay my day was busy oh yeah now we've talked about me and now we can go back to talking about you i really really like this one yeah if you had a box of everything you've ever lost what would you look for first oh shit oh that's a good question everything i've ever lost and that's to be like a physical thing I'm gonna guess yeah I mean damn you could get

not yeah I mean you could get deep about it okay I don't know if I've lost this no no because I don't know where it is it might be with my mom but let's just but like but like in my eyes I don't know where it is okay my dad when we were when I was a kid you've never heard this no my dad had this really soft i don't want to say it was a hawaiian shirt but he had this really oh my god this is this is really going down memory lane he had this really soft it looks almost tribal or hawaiian print shirt and part of it ripped off and it smelled like him and i always kept it in this box and um i don't know if i had the same shirt but i remember i would always tell my mom like hey do you have the like when my parents split i would be like when i missed him i'd be

like oh because i saw my dad all the time he was always in my life so don't like it's right right we talk all the time but uh i didn't live with him and um she put it in this like box up where i couldn't reach it so that i would ask for when i would ask for it she'd bring it down and it smelled like his cologne and it was really soft that is the sweetest thing yes that's that's one of the things um i love that yeah um my grandfather used to get me um in like when i was four or five used to always get me pokemon cards and i would trade them with kids in preschool i would get all of those cards back because he's not alive anymore yeah so that's one thing that i consider i lost yeah um i don't know that those are all those are both good answers yeah it was

like deep in the archives i mean that's a deep ass question i've never heard that question it's a good it's a great question yeah i'm gonna remember that whoever you are that was a great question i've got a question from liz t ball herself what's your favorite way to insult 12 year olds on xbox live um sometimes what they'll do if they're you know being mean or cursing at me and my buddies i'll uh you click on their profile and you could see if they're wearing like a jersey and then you could find the high school they're from this is not to get weird oh my god but would you usually find the high school and you'll just be like hey like did you turn in your homework to like professor or dot you know mrs you know zibovitz just stuff like that you

know nothing too crazy in high school that would freak me out yeah i mean it's i'm not like looking them up personally but like you know if you know don't don't put your internet don't don't put your information out there kids yeah that's a cautionary tale make yourself untraceable especially on video games yeah don't let anyone find you no no you know my username on video games quote unquote is different than any other username i have anywhere else that's smart no one needs to know who i am does amelia do anything that grinds your gears or mildly irks uh amelia uh will say something sometimes don't you don't you you know what's interesting is i think like liz asked us when we first started dating and i'm like no and now it's just like boom right off the

bat no no no nothing serious first of all nothing that actually irks me like let's be like let's keep it 100 like betting out of my league here like i'll have a good time oh no no that's not everyone knows it um amelia sometimes like we'll be doing something and she'll say a statement and i'm like what because i'm questioning what she meant by the statement and she'll just like look at me and repeat it in a different tone like the same exact statement and i'm like the other day i was like i've had enough no it's like that um no nothing um that irks me nothing really irks me because it's just like little like roommate bullshit that isn't like it's stuff i don't even think about past 20 seconds do you explore art and creativity too or is that more amelia's

domain um i used to a lot more in my younger years musically i could play like a lot of instruments i still can but like i haven't really in a while but i haven't had that itch so not as much as amelia who is the master of every domain now frank made me the most beautiful cardigan oh yeah i forgot about that he crocheted it some art though i followed a pattern what do but it takes it takes patience it takes you know what else takes patience intricacy hospitals nice that's good cut that out no i'm gonna keep that that was that's worth keeping that was beautiful um that was the the end of the questions i mean like so many of them were about your hair do you have anything else to say about your hair it seems like a hot topic oh man shout out my mom's

side i got curly hair from their side so fuck yeah i got uh volume from the dad's side we're out here doing our best absolutely we are you know shifting gears i've recently gotten frank into vanderpump rules yes i more than anything have i really really want frank to be a content creator because he is so funny and his hot takes are spicy yeah and i think he would do well with content creation he doesn't want to and so i've you know taken the l on that no one cares what i have to say you do because you love me and that's really sweet and i love that about you and i love you being my audience but like come on man i think that people would love to hear what you have to say you're really funny to you to a lot of people i think that i'm right about this but uh i recently

got him into vanderpump rules which has been a dream come true i've always wanted to be watching reality tv with the man that i love yeah no it's great i wanted to talk to you about what is going on with ariana and tom and your opinion on how the group is managing tom re-infiltrating the friend group uh so i think there's context that should be given here i've never seen a single season of this show until this one right i don't know any of the backstory i kind of know some of backstory they did like a quick recap i don't know anything about any of these people and their history truly um it is kind of funny though i mean this is the worst group of reality tv people i've ever seen yeah and i've seen almost every love is blind season i've watched all the bachelors

recently these are the most there's the the thing is it's like the only one of them that seems to be doing something outside of the show is ariana yeah and she's like a big broadway star or something now whatever she is it's it's you know it's it's they can't even they can't open fucking sandwich shops like these people are not easy to do it's not easy to do for average joes and schmoes like you know like us yeah but when you have one of the largest platforms on tv yeah i'm not saying it's easy i'm saying you you're at a way bigger fucking advantage yeah then then you know half the people here yeah who are you know whatever anyway that's a good point yeah anyway yeah it's it's i i just don't really you know i don't i i find a lot of them to be irredeemable but that's

not the point what was the question tom like people forgiving him for his past indiscretions i mean they're getting played it's kind of funny i don't know this person right everyone's like oh like we know you we know i only know him from this season right and when i watch him i'm cracking up the whole time because i'm like like the way he talks is so stupid yeah the way like he's saying nothing yeah he's just saying a bunch of nothing um and he's you know he's he's playing on these emotions that these people have of this like idea of what it once used to be but at the same time are we the ones being played like this show from what i understand none of them are poor anymore it's not this like ragtag group of restaurant people yeah they gotta keep pumping out content

like lisa you know can't even keep her restaurants open in la because the food is so fucking bad yeah if you if you were to go on any of those reality tv dating shows yeah if you did not know me which one would you have gone on and why you like a dating one sure i mean it would have to be a dating one i think well i mean there's things like survivor and like amazing race and i don't know i've never seen any of those okay uh are you smarter than a fifth grader no that's not reality that's a game show that's a good answer though um because i am i think a lot of people that go on that show think that they are no but they ask bullshit questions like the pythagorean theorem yeah give me a break um you don't learn that in uh fifth grade no yeah i remember fifth

grade uh bet the bachelor bachelorette oh i'd want to be a contestant and not win because i don't think that's like a real way to meet anybody yeah but it would be a good way to get start a platform forget i mean even that just to like not take it like be really nice to production obviously because i think it's a hard job even though they're kind of manipulating you but just to like get my shit off and like make a mockery of it in a way that i'm still giving them what they want yeah you know taking it seriously enough like being good team player but just being like this is the stupidest shit ever and having fun with it yeah being coming america's sweetheart hell yeah and then when i'm off the show casey musgraves would slide into my dms i

was just about to say maybe i would slide into your dms but you had to say fucking casey musgraves that's his celebrity crush which is a good choice one of them yeah who's the other one Dr. Viviana from Married at First Sight who was your other

celebrity crush though I don't remember Casey Musgraves and you really like Sarah Sherman on SNL I think Sarah Sherman's hot and like a very

like she's funny she's so attainable she might listen to this and be like I'm gonna steal this bitch's man I really admire her and she's so funny

and like I love the funny girls and i date a very funny very hot person so it's like i get the best of both worlds even though she's a fart shamer well and a burp shamer your burps are horrible in my defense his burps sound like you know when you're like drinking a milkshake and you're out of milkshake but you're still slurping through the straw and it's like kind of like it's not it's specifically milkshakes it's not like another soda that's what your burps sound like i don't deserve this that's exactly what it is anyway on person new year of all i guess okay i found i found a

relationship specific am i the asshole let's hear it and i want to get your opinion on whether or not this person is the asshole i will let you know ma'am it's not very long okay stick with me i'm here am i the asshole for sleeping with my friend when i'm married like literally sleeping not sex okay okay me 26 female and my husband 27 male have been married for seven years and together for a total of 11 years we have always been happy with each other and i love my husband with everything in me but recently he has been complaining about how i use too many blankets and he gets too hot i snuggle him too much i use too many pillows i go to bed too early or too late and more stuff like that so i promised him i would go to bed when he did i could use only one pillow

and one blanket and i wouldn't cuddle him anymore he didn't think that was good enough he is refusing to sleep in the same bed as me he sleeps in our guest room while i sleep alone this has been going on for almost three months and we haven't had sex a single time he's never complained about my sex he's just been refusing he tells me things like if we aren't in the same bed why would we have sex and stuff like that i have a high sex drive and so does he early into our marriage we would have sex about three times a week but that's not what i'm complaining about i miss my husband ever since he started sleeping away from me he has barely spoken to me he gets up at 6 a.m every day leaves at 8 and gets back home at 7 to 8 p.m his job hours are 9 to 5 i don't know where he's going

i feel unwanted so back to my point recently my friend 26 female got divorced she couldn't afford her house so i let her move in with me i've known her since we were both two now she does have her own room but she is having the same problem as me she feels lonely and unwanted so we sleep in the same bed every night we don't have sex we just cuddle now i will admit sometimes i give her small kisses on the forehead and she does the same to me but my love language is touch so if i can't touch my husband i'll need someone else to kiss i've never touched her lips once we've never done anything more than goodnight kisses on the cheek or forehead we have been snuggling together for about three weeks now and my husband is pissed he told my whole homophobic family that i kicked him

out of our bedroom so i can sleep with a girl i just need advice and to know if i'm the asshole for snuggling with someone else my husband is yelling at me almost every night now has thrown stuff broken plates i made him a fancy dinner so we could talk and catch up he took the plate i made for him and threw it on the ground creating a big mess yes he does pay the bills my friend doesn't pay for anything she is just simply too depressed my whole family hates me now his family he does the only one i have is my friend and honestly she's not enough i just feel unwanted and lost my husband called me a hell-ass bitch who doesn't know how to keep my hands out of women's pants what the fuck is going on by the way neither my husband or i are homophobic and

our families are religious and homophobic so that's why they're so pissed is this a trick question you're in an abusive relationship ma'am yeah you're not the asshole this is crazy you're asking the wrong question the question should be the question should be asking is should i be calling the police now or tomorrow what are we doing here i know yeah your husband's a lunatic you should cheat on him fuck it see what he does i don't condone cheating by the way cheating is very bad but this dude is a monster first i'm like oh she's sleeping in bed with another guy but like it's not you know romantic and then even then i was like i hope she cleared it with him you know but um now you're sleeping with a childhood friend yeah who is also i'm gonna

assume they're both straight that's what it sounds like yeah it sounds like i'm just gonna assume that everyone's straight here um you're not the asshole let's just uh i mean short answer you're not the asshole i wonder if there wasn't the very clear abuse aspect if we would be thinking differently like i still wouldn't be thinking differently i don't think i would either like if you and liz slept in the bed together i'd literally i i don't even i don't even think i'd ask it i literally like i it'd be one of those things i'd forget and then you'd tell me again later i'm like oh when did that happen you'd be like oh i just told you like a week ago i'm like oh yeah it's so insignificant totally yeah and also like it's the catch-22 of being like no

you are not sleeping in here with me i'm sleeping in the guest room and then being pissed that there's somebody like oh there's layers to this yeah he's a piece of shit like thought smack him upside the head i would too great well i mean like that's the length of a minisode yeah we can go watch um uh quiet on the set now oh my god y'all if you haven't watched quiet on set i and you were i mean even if you weren't a nickelodeon kid it's shocking yeah what am i what are my real like best friends growing up still one of my closest friends hit me up today and and part of our relationship is we talked about like schneider shows so much because they were so important not just like nickelodeon like i had my spongebob friends my cartoon network

friends me and this guy were specifically talking about the schneider shows yeah it's a very big part of our friendship growing up and he's like have you seen this and i'm like dude like we haven't even gotten to like the drake and josh stuff but i'm like so much i'm gonna get when it's important you see it because i'm like so much shit went over our heads yeah there's nothing you could like like if i watched it now i'd be like oh what the fuck like this is kind of weird yeah but at the time you can't you can't blame a 11 10 9 year old for not knowing oh of course not i mean they were keeping it under wraps nobody knew nobody knew but i mean just the stuff that's in the shows yeah you know all the feet stuff and like like the the weird cum shot stuff he would do

Like, it was, like, very perverted, and, like, it's like I watch Ren and Stimpy now, and I'm like, which is funny, don't get me wrong. Ren and Stimpy is, it's an adult show that they put on a kid's network, and that was the mistake they made. This dude was working with kids, putting out shows for kids. Not a cartoon, like, shows that involved kids for kids, and, like, hypersexual. It was, it's just weird. Yeah. like if you watch that stuff as a kid just you know i mean a part of your childhood will be a little tweaked but you know you're not the one that got abused the way they did on the set it's

weird man yeah i don't know no it's he we haven't even gotten really like into the we just watched the first episode so far but i mean like it's gonna get worse the things that we learned about just amanda binds it makes so much sense that she i mean everybody failed her everyone failed her oh i used to see her at the mall growing up are you serious i loved her growing up yeah i would know y'all amanda please dude i fucking loved the amanda show best show i mean in like looking back we grew up watching such funny like it was comedically really great yes like the amanda show was was truly brilliant like great writing you know and it just it sucks that a pervert was producing all of that shit yeah and she was a man it was just you know like they get into it

she was so smart yeah i was a young age she was so funny her timing was insane yeah man she was just the best yeah she really was and she was so fucking cute it's just so sad it's so sad thank you so much for coming on cutie of course thank you for doing this with me again apologies if the if the quality of this episode is not up to standard i don't know what the fuck i'm doing we're recording in our kitchen he has a different mic than me yeah just if you don't like the quality uh email or send a letter to your local congressperson and they'll figure it out for you yeah that's great advice yeah that's what you should do cool all right do you want to sing out with us that's all you um we love you are chill i got a little bit out of it

Oh, yeah.