The Hoely Hour - E182 Rightsflation

Episode Date: May 3, 2024

Rights don’t grow on trees, so we discuss a foolproof solution. Liz has some super exciting news, Amelia talks about the trauma of civic duty, and we discuss the complicated dance of freezing your eggs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

right you're patronizing patronizing pacifying pussy popping three p's three p's well i guess pussy popping is two p's the four p's the four p's welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at the holy hour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com hey hey uh i don't know you want to start with your fun news so my exciting news is i accepted a new job offer

i'm very excited she outie folks um i was interviewing for two different jobs and the best part is they found me that is the best part i had seen a tiktok of this girl saying how she like met her fiance or something because she needed a roommate and sexy the the i think she lived in a house and she needed a roommate and then um a man was like i know i'm a guy let's just meet and we can talk about it and then he like she let him move in and then he she was like we just kind of naturally like took on like this couple vibe like a like a husband and wife situation i love that yeah and then like a few weeks later they were like i really like you and then they were like i really like you too so then i started dating that was his future self

being like you gotta you gotta reply to this craigslist ad and her mom had been like you're not gonna meet your future spouse just staying at home and she literally did and i was like what an inspiration i'm approaching job hunting all wrong what if i let them find me did you change your linkedin status to looking for work no i had actually i turned it off that's that's some universe shit yeah i turned it off and i actually think that for some reason recruiters are more drawn to someone who doesn't have that on and i had turned it off because um like if you have it on for a long time it doesn't like show your profile at the top that's so sad so turn it off for like a few days and then turn it back on if you're job hunting new meat yeah so um and then

have like an ats friendly resume situation ats also make yeah um automatic something system automatic transcript i don't know well it it's just ai looks at your resume and decides if you're qualified before it passes on your information to an actual person but in this instance two actual people contacted me fuck yeah so they're both great jobs yeah well congrats thank you i'm excited for you i'm excited too and i get to take a break between jobs also very important i'm taking a two-week break my like maze i need it my major um freak out after graduating college was a what the fuck do i do now which i have a recurring dream about that i graduate college and then i'm like now what but b was not ever having like sanctioned

breaks anymore it's like oh i don't get two months off in the summer anymore i just have to like work through it well what i've kind of found is like when you go on vacation i don't know like working somewhere that has kind of shit pto and lumps your pto in with your sick time and doesn't have bereavement um just basic things like that like your vacations aren't vacations yeah because then you're like maybe working remote a couple of days because you only have so much pto and then um even when you're on vacation you're like doing stuff yeah and you're visiting family or whatever it is so it's not an actual like stop and like do nothing and just take a mental break or take time to like do what you want to do or need to get done just be selfish for a little bit

yeah so i'm just i'm gonna take those two weeks to um do all of the things that have been piling up that i haven't had time to do like go to costco i i do have a goal of going to costco it's a good goal during a weekday oh during the daytime it hits different it's so much easier in there during the daytime maybe i'll maybe i'll sneak in there at like 10 30 11 let's see um what time they open i have no idea but like i think 10 i was gonna guess eight maybe they close at eight you know who knows you know i'm not sure but i'll just live wondering where my costco homies at right here right here right on the couch i got my kirkland slides i i'm rocking the merch yeah um oh my god you said something and it made me think of something oh i gave a week's notice

and uh i had been feeling really guilty about it um because like a week's notice isn't like standard usually two weeks but ultimately at the end of the day if you work for an at will employer they fire you whenever so you should leave whenever and you don't have to give two weeks it's just kind of like common courtesy so tell me your thought um I uh had jury duty for three months at one point oh my god I think I remember that it was like I'm pretty sure right when you started yeah um but yeah I had I was on jury duty for three months and we only got two weeks of jury duty pto and it got really complicated with hr because they were like how the fuck do we pay her for this I was making ten dollars a day doing jury duty to solve crime oh my god it's wild

and that paid for my parking that paid for half of my parking sorry that paid for half of my parking but um so I was actually losing money doing jury duty but regardless they ended up having to dip into my PTO and it was at the end of the year so it was gonna it was gonna renew anyway but it was still at the end of the year so it was around the holidays so I had to use all of my PTO to cover this thing that I had to do for my country it was my civic duty I I think it's crazy wait so were you selected then oh okay yeah I had to sit through the whole so they have 12 jurors have you been on jury duty no so they have they have 14 jurors who hear the whole case and then they release two as all as alternates at the end so these people had to sit through the whole

the whole case which is a lot and also traumatizing oh it was a traumatizing one it was a double murder or it was a murder but it was two people on trial for murder yeah yeah oh my god i told you about this no i had to see the most horrible shit i had to hear from the mom of the victim it was awful shit amelia yeah it was really bad i couldn't talk about it with anyone i've literally thought about being on a jury for like a violent crime like a murder yeah because i'm like oh my god that's the most traumatizing shit like these jurors don't really have like you can't opt out no seeing this shit you have to see it no and i they really wanted me on the jury um and i have friends that are lawyers that i talked to after the fact because you can't talk to anyone during

it yeah that's like the rule and then like when i would hear people say that i'm like we could talk to people about like who's gonna they scare you to death they're like i i was convinced that there was some way they would know if I had talked to anyone about it but um they I had known who one of the lawyers are because people from the jury pool were talking about it so like when they did the voir dire which is when they like question potential jurors to see who's going to be on the bench the bench the jury the jury box um the jury they asked if we knew any of the lawyers who they were because that could sway your decision and so I lifted my paddle being like I know who one of them is I just learned and it was one of um Ted Bundy's lawyers yeah wait you

know this person IRL um I knew I just knew who he was oh my god so which was supposed to like get me off of the jury I thought Ted Bundy represented himself he did at the end he did like I'm smarter than everybody he went through like 20 lawyers or something crazy before he just represented himself yeah but um yeah so they called me in individually away from the rest of the jury so it was the judge all of the lawyers like the prosecution and the defense and then both of the defendants and me sitting in the jury box and the judge was like how do you who do you know here like which one of the lawyers and i pointed to him i'm like i just found out who he is she was like what do you mean and i said one of the jurors was talking about it

you said bundy's lawyer yeah yeah everybody knows but he knew he knew it was gonna be him because he's famous yeah so he was like looking down i was gonna say like well why i don't know you know who a lawyer is yeah at that point he's also the barefoot bandits lawyer do you remember him no he like did all these crimes he like stole a plane he like takes on all these cases that are like media cases but he was doing this one pro bono um so yeah so he was they were like is this going to affect your decision to be a juror and it wasn't I'm like I don't give a fuck about this guy you know yeah so I was like no it's not so I ended up getting selected for the jury my lawyer friend said that ahead of time for these high

profile cases they'll research jurors beforehand and figure out who they want and so he's convinced that they were like that's why they called me and individually like please tell us that this isn't going to affect how you so how do they research a juror they just like have the name of like the jury pool and they have like their um uh what's the word like the assistant lawyers i can't think of the the word um doing like research paralegal they have their paralegals like look up all the jurors for these high profile cases so that they know who they want and who they want to cut from the jury and I ended up being a juror and not an alternate so I had to actually look up your social media or like probably I think I probably just looked at whatever was

available they might have background checked me yeah I was gonna say I mean like a background check would make sense of like yeah okay no criminal record like yeah they wanted me on the jury because I was young and educated and both both of the defendants were young so but and you're not allowed to cry as a juror right oh we were all what during um when we were we gave our verdict all of us were like a fucking mess the prosecutors were crying it was wow it was hard well because i thought you weren't allowed to cry you have to be stoic like but they make it really easy like during the trial because like there's so much foundation that has to be laid they go through like the nitty-gritty like boring ass details like they

call in like an AT&T rep to talk about like how like cell phone towers work because they have to lay all that foundation yeah um so they'll do that they had to like have the cop come in that just put up the caution tape that was his only job and then they were like thank you and they had him leave so like trial was like a month and a half and then deliberations were like a month and a half wow yeah it was awful um and you can't talk to your therapist about it yeah you can't Because you can't talk about you can't talk about it to any extent that might change your decision making process. So like if you like feel sad and you're like having guilt about sending someone to jail like. Can you can you be on meds?

Yeah. OK. Because I'm like. But I wasn't. Could I request like Xanax? See it's so annoying. From my psychiatrist. I had pushed my jury duty date.

So interesting. Three months out because I was like I don't want to fucking do it. So I pushed it out. and then looking back on it I'm like I could have been assigned to like a DUI case that got settled outside of court and not have to have gone through this shit if I didn't or they could yeah or they could have just been like okay we don't need you yeah exactly it was awful oh my god awful and then when I was waiting in the jury deliberate or the jury um selection room any of the other jurors names yeah we all would like would go to brunch and shit together after I'm

like okay I did see the I did see the show jury do yeah they know each other's names we didn't get sequestered which is nice but like we would we were all trauma bonded at the end so we would like get brunch together and shit um i had a crush on one of the other jurors but then i realized it was just a trauma bonding thing his name was trauma bonding crush yeah well this is this is a very interesting way to kick off the episode it is i didn't know anything about the actual experience of being a juror oh but what i was going to say was when i was waiting in the jury waiting room was when i got the text from that guy who's the married guy that i hooked up with wife that i thought he was in an open relationship that was when i got the like 20 page text from her i was

sitting in the jury waiting room and i was like what is my what's what's going on right now i'm part of a really traumatic jury like why why all right now i should look back and see what was going on in the stars at that time god anyway so yes that was that um you bringing up the guy that you thought was like in an open relationship or whatever yeah i did see a TikTok of a girl and I'm sorry guys I'm not gonna pull it up and and find find it I don't think I liked it but I did listen to the whole story this girl was dating this guy for several months and she was like it was it was awesome it was like the best relationship I had been in like no games like we just really clicked and like we were in love and talking about getting married and stuff

and like he just was also so busy that I didn't get to see him a lot and I just like it didn't it didn't work out and then eventually I like ended things with him and um I was like you know I I can't keep doing this where like I can't see you and whatever and he was like I totally understand I'm so sorry like I hope in the future I can like give you the life and things that you deserve and the attention that you need and deserve and blah blah blah and she was like it was really sad and like i was hopeful that you know when she was like it was like a right person wrong time situation and then um she goes to his instagram and someone comments on a picture that he posted and says husband and she's like what and then she goes to investigate and finds out

that this girl is he like he was like dating this girl and she's like freaking out she's in the weeds she was like i've met his friends i'm hung out with these people so they're complicit yeah yeah and she's like his best friend is her brother shut the fuck up so then she's like oh my god and she texts she's like going crazy and she's blowing up his phone he's not answering and then she messages the girl and she's like i'm so sorry blah blah blah and she's it turns out he was in an open relationship with this girl and everybody knew except for her that's really fuck girl number two and i yeah i'm like this this like violates the whole concept of like an open relationship do you know if the girl answered being like oh we're in an open relationship it's fucked up that

didn't tell you like do you know what her response was because if i was she didn't explain that if i was the girl the other girl i'd be like why the fuck wouldn't you be clear about that yeah especially with you being so busy it's like clearly you were like maintaining a whole other relationship yeah that's really that's crazy so yeah he has like a whole girlfriend and like i don't know i so i was just like that is i bet they're also like we're ethically non-monogamous and like completely rejecting the ethical right i was gonna say with ethical where like she didn't consent to being in that type of relationship she was consenting to be in a monogamous relationship yeah so to her it was a monogamous relationship i just think that's i was like that is incredibly fucked up that is

super fucked up i i would feel so i would feel insane if that happened to me yeah i would too i would feel like i was losing my fucking mind good for her for messaging the girl i mean that's what everyone should do yeah um hey girly yeah call back to last episode have i have we talked about the whole clinton kane thing on here with um what's tana mojo's co-host's name on scofield yeah brooke was dating clinton kane who like had a whole thing about like his whole music career and personality was based around his whole family dying and like none of them died wait i think i remember hearing and also he's australian but he's not he has a fake australian accent that's a hard accent to nail and she i mean he it's a bad accent but it sounded watered down almost you know but he

just doesn't have one he's just been faking it what the fuck yeah and she found out all of this after they broke up and anyway he had all of these other girlfriends that's what made me think of it that's insane yeah anyway these men they have too much time too many ways too much time yeah and too many rights too much time too much freedom i think if we take away some of the rights they won't have as much time i agree you know because then they'll be fighting for the rights like us i think that's that's where the the time uh inequality yeah plays out like we're so focused yes on trying to get our rights back yeah or get the rights that we should have already had wow that we don't have time to be playing these fucking mind games no i mean some people

have time but i have time i think the normal people they don't have time oh i don't have time yeah honestly you don't have time to entertain a bunch of men no i also the patience patience to entertain a bunch of men no you have to be a little that's a lot yeah that's a lot of work it is but so i don't have a job a vote for us is a vote for men getting no rights ball samson 2028 i think if they want um traditional wives and whatever again if they just give us all our rights first of all they'll get wives because that's become a problem right you know they're not getting wives right they're very mad about it right have you tried having less rights they could have less i think what would work the best is like if we had all of the

rights then we'll have more time absolutely if i had more time i'd be happy to be a housewife but then if we have more rights some we have it has to those rights have to be taken from somewhere rights don't grow on trees it's like money yeah and all i'm saying is we should take it from you can't simply print more money no you can't simply give women rights okay you got to take them from somewhere else this feels like simple math yeah we can cause inflation with greed of rights yeah that's a beautiful thing rightflation rightflation women are the future i'm losing the track i'm losing track of what's going no i'm still following that makes one of us um i never claimed to be the smart one

i don't think you need to i think that it's clear i think it's clear i'm the smart one that's not what i'm saying that's not what i'm saying i meant the opposite one no and i'm the you are the smart one so i don't know what you want me to fill in here that's on you i'm the comic relief we we both have we both share a brain cell and it's a beautiful yeah yeah that brain cell is doing amazing we have to borrow it out to one another that's why i smoke so much weed i don't have anything to do like oh amelia's got the brain cell today i guess i'll just eat a gummy oh that sounds really funny mr liz was like what are you

gonna do when you're two weeks off and then i was like thinking and i was like obviously i'm gonna go to costco and then i'll need the brain cell that day so i don't forget okay just let me know what day i'll put in my calendar um and then he was like uh see how high you can get and i was like see how high i can get he's like would you actually do that and i was like maybe why not yeah you have no responsibility go out with a bang yeah yeah i would like to be consuming less weed go out with a bong hey i don't have a bong for the record i have a pipe and you know what i think i would still prefer a joint oh i feel like i have a better high smoking a joint i've had my worst high smoking out of a bong worst yeah every time that i hallucinated except for

one time i smoked keys yeah it's not good the only times that i've had really horrible experiences smoking weed were when i was already drunk yeah like last weekend yeah we don't need to talk about that no we don't but liz and i did go out this weekend with one of our friends i think one thing i will do is um try eating two gummies because i haven't done that i haven't done two gummies oh my god you're gonna have the kind of high that i have when i have one gummy and that is i think it might be kind of fun for me scary oh okay do it let's play this game baby okay it's really stupid though now that there's now that i've brought it up three times it feels almost not worth it but if your house was on fire

and you could only leave with three inanimate objects okay so not your cats okay your cats are fine they're out they're safe perfect what three items would you bring if one of them had to be sex related what three items if one of them had to be sex related well bullet vibrator if it had to be sex really i was expecting you to need the longest to to decide what your sex item would be but now i'm realizing that that's it's blasphemous it's it's tired and true it's mighty i i love the bullet i have two now that's amazing did you get it from the second one from amazon too yeah i got the same one i got i have reordered it so now i have two good good for you you know the newer one has the motors a little faster i love nice and spry yes so i love that wow you

know new lease on life yeah yeah and i mean the old one still does a great job okay we love old faithful okay so but if you could only bring one of them would you bring the newer one you would bring the newer one yeah bring the newer one even after all the memories you had with the old one you traitor um and then the other two things that i would bring hmm well now i'm like probably my i'm like well the laptop and the mic are two things that are very important to the rest of my hobbies that's true uh yeah cool yeah i love that that's very topically relevant for the for the forum that we are now speaking on yeah damn um cool good answer thanks 20 out of 10 I would give that a 20 out of 10 what would you do um my one sex related item

would be my satisfier okay do you know what that is no I got it that we both have no okay it's I got it at a um me and my friends do a favorite things party every year where you have a 50 limit and you bring um like your favorite thing that is in that price limit and then it's like a it's like a white elephant so everyone gets something good it's not like you get like an empty box um I fucking hate white elephant by the way it ruins it's not the Christmas spirit at all stealing from people fuck that I hate it and then somebody ends up getting way too invested and sad and I don't like seeing people sad I just don't but anyway that's neither here nor there somebody does silly stuff yeah yeah like all like all silly gifts no there's

an occasional like good one yeah you know you gotta have one that's kind of good what I got for my white elephant um this year is a sign that says what would scooby do cute and i was like this is perfect this was the perfect gift for me it found its way to you uh-huh everyone's like you can have it yeah and none of us stole anything i that is the best kind of white elephant it was all like there's always the one scoundrel that's like i just want to steal and i don't like that i don't like that kind of energy i don't want that energy at my function some grinch energy don't want that grinch energy at my function but my the white elephant gift that i received at this party was a satisfier and lube and it is the best i mean this feels a little sacrilege because we

had an adam and eve sponsor but if you can't find anything on adam and eve you like the satisfier is so good it's just like a little like suction cup vibrator it's just like a clit massager okay anyway it's great that would be my one related my sex my sex related item and then I would bring I really should have thought about this um I would probably bring my birth certificate smart I was just given it and I know I'm gonna lose it I think about it too frequently I'm like do I have my birth certificate or do I only have a copy of it I think you must have to have your actual because a lot of places won't take a copy well I don't know if my parents have it oh I haven't I like I can't think of when I've like actually needed to bring my birth certificate

to something because when you get a new job you just bring your passport yeah that's true and that's enough of a verification but you're alive yeah isn't it crazy that you like need proof of your birth and you're like standing right there that was getting ahead of ai like way way before there was even a glimmer in anyone's eye um so my birth certificate and probably my laptop oh i get what you mean like verify your identity yeah it's like no we have to see your birth like we don't care about your passport or your id we have to see your certificate of birth that's like a crazy a crazy thing we have not moved past certificate of birth and id yeah or social security yeah i don't know where my social security card is no you need like an i like something that identifies you

yeah an id of sorts and your social security card or birth certificate okay i went to aussies with two of my college friends which was one of those things it was like wouldn't that be so fucking funny if we went to aussies it was like back in december um and she got her id take we're 30 she got her id taken out of aussies and we were standing there and she was like no you don't understand like i that's my id to get home i live in i live like up north like i need my id back and he was like sorry like you're gonna have to call the police if you want it back okay i will fucking call and so she did she called 911 she's like i don't really know what to do in this scenario and they're like oh we'll send someone and they never did and then the guy was just like called more

people over and verify that it was but who was isn't that like kind of the greatest compliment ever bouncers are such bootlickers yeah they're like i get to be in charge of the door yeah congratulations yeah mazel like this is your one thing yeah mazel i'm happy for you you weren't somehow you weren't smart enough to be a fucking cop yeah and the bar is pretty low i don't know if you guys know this a lawyer has to study the law for like six years but a cop gets to um look at a nice a nice little pamphlet yeah pamphlet about the law and there you go yeah you get a gun and a taser yeah you can lie and then they give you a gun and a taser yeah and a pat on the back right and they can do all that before you're 21 you're part of the easiest gang

to join i think probably yeah yeah anyways anyway a cap um moving along that was my game um you have um something you wanted to talk about that is an in-depth topic yeah i wanted to talk about freezing my eggs so i i'm not i haven't frozen my eggs and i haven't uh taken the steps to freeze my eggs but i have started looking into that uh because i just i'm still undecided and i would still like to have some sort of option in place um and if i decide that i don't well so i was on reddit and someone had asked older women like who had their eggs frozen like do they regret their decision like how do they feel about their decision now and um someone had commented like they were in their 50s and she was saying like yeah I don't regret it at all because like you

have the peace of mind of knowing that you can change your mind but then even if you don't change your mind like it there's like no harm done kind of so if you decide even if you decide you don't want kids like at least you're not gonna have that that feeling of like oh I wish I had done this yeah you know what I mean absolutely um that's kind of how I feel about not studying abroad I'm like what I wish I had done that yeah but I feel like in this scenario it's like it's better to like have the option and not need it than like exactly need the option and not have it exactly yeah you explained that very well I was making sure I didn't get tangled in my head so I well because it's something I had considered before but it is also incredibly expensive yeah um it

is around like the eight thousand dollar range on average um just to well so like that includes the medications that you need to take and the actual retrieval itself um and then you have to pay like a thousand dollars a year to keep them frozen which is pretty fucking insane and then you have to pay like a let's say you do want to use these eggs um you have to pay like a three thousand dollar dethawing fee which is wild yeah um and then the additional cost on top of that would be like fertilization and like implantation and whatever so there's a lot involved yeah um and ideally let's say i do change my mind i would have that as an option if i were not able to like conceive regularly yeah traditionally yeah um

so there's a program called co-fertility and they do something called like a split option which is they will retrieve your eggs and store them for free if you give half of the eggs to um like people who need them uh to to clients and um I was like okay that's appealing but also like how many eggs on average do people have and whatever and the more I looked into it too because I wanted to see what people had to say about being a donor um and the reviews were not good that's such a shame I know it's a because it sounds like something that could be a good idea but they're obviously trying to make money and the people who are paying up front are people who need a donor yeah so they're doing everything to prioritize their wants and needs and they're

not doing enough to like protect and um guide donors themselves because like these are also women who still want to have freeze their eggs and have options and they know like they're in some ways it feels a little predatory because they know that this is a very expensive procedure to do yeah and a lot of people our age can't afford to have kids at this moment and it's just it's getting more and more difficult and things are becoming more and more delayed for our generation in terms of like financial independence and hitting these milestones like getting married buying a house things like that um so in that aspect it did feel a little predatory but then like the fact that they're kind of treating the donors like a product um it was just very

handmaid's tale yeah feeling and yeah the women who wrote about their experience just they didn't have anything positive to say um so that changed my mind really quick um and i actually have a friend who donated eggs twice oh so i had talked to her um just about her experience because the retrieval process is going to be the same yeah um and it like there's all kinds of things involved like have you have to like inject um hormones or treatment whatever directly into your body for an extended amount of time and then um that's so they can get more eggs during the retrieval um and then when they retrieve the eggs there's so they'll retrieve however many they can um and then there's of those eggs only some of them are going to be mature um so i was looking into like

what people had to say on reddit and whatnot and one user um had all these women on reddit fill out a survey and it had super detailed questions um like from women who had already gotten their eggs like frozen and wow and whatever um and she turned that survey into a google spreadsheet and i like opened it and i made a copy of it and then i this is what i decided to do like obviously i don't know a whole bunch about like the whole process um and the nitty-gritty details of it but i wanted to narrow down like a certain age range and demographic that was kind of similar to me um and see like the women who are within my age range of like 32 to 34 that's the the range i chose and um i narrowed down the women who had 17 or more eggs um mature eggs retrieved okay and

then I narrowed down what things that they did that that they had in common that could have potentially led to them being able to retrieve more mature eggs okay so the things that I had come to figure or let me pull it up let me pull up my data because I just was like okay I I feel pretty strongly that this is something that I would like to do um and I think like around 34 like co-fertility you can't donate past age 33 so people have um there's like a cut off for donating eggs yeah um and the women around 34 had the most mature eggs so interesting yeah and if you are like a good range to try and be in is 15 um but i wanted to aim for above that and let me pull up my for retrieval for mature egg retrieval yeah mature retrieval so here's my findings um

it's all it's also self-reported data but there were a ton of women and there's a ton of like there's women of every like demographic and age um so i and like i guess gender gender identity as well because not everyone who was like born right with the vagina is currently identifying as that but it was very interesting to see those like statistics and information anyways um i wanted to see what similarities people with higher mature egg count that fit my demographic had in common um to potentially have more successful retrievals um i did narrow it down to white women because i'm white yeah i was like that'll probably be more accurate for me um age range 32 to 34 mature egg count over 17 and white women um i found that women who didn't take vitamins

consumed alcohol or didn't make any lifestyle changes were more likely to develop ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome wow i don't know if necessarily those are the things that caused it or just like allowed for that to be more likely um and also ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome is like it's probably triggered by like the hormonal treatments that you're taking um to prepare um and usually you just like are bloated and like um if it's really bad they'll have to drain fluid from your abdomen um but for the most part like it's not too severe like you just have a lack of electrolytes and um i was thinking like i wonder if increasing your electrolyte intake would potentially prevent that from happening yeah so anyways um i also found lupron trigger

method seemed to be the most successful however there's two different trigger methods or three there's like loop run hgc a combination of the two or you could do like a synthetic thing i'm again i haven't done like total deep dive um and uh yeah the loop run trigger method seemed to be the most successful but there were also like a decent amount of women who did that who did get the um ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome and um taking specific vitamins or supplements for around two months seemed to be like the sweet spot for the women who had kind of like a higher egg count um but one month still seemed okay and then three months didn't really seem to make a difference um and then lifestyle changes it looked like maybe around one month was the most effective

because a three-month woman didn't have a higher mature egg count is pretty average um but around like the one month period overall had the highest egg count and uh the vitamins and supplements that i wrote down you would take them for around two months before retrieval uh prenatal multivitamin coq10 um which is a antioxidant um vitamin d omega-3 fatty acids folic acid melatonin um and then lifestyle change melatonin that's interesting i know i know i thought so too um and then the lifestyle changes would you'd have to do them for like about a month okay um and no tobacco or nicotine no marijuana no alcohol reduced caffeine intake exercised regularly tried to improve nutrition and got acupuncture and then some things that they had listed that

um not all of them listed it's just a few of them did were sought out social support which i think yeah sense you know obviously you're going to be talking to other people going through the same thing or just like your peers in general um limited fragrances wow yeah and that's something actually like when I was a nanny the woman I was a nanny for was because um she had high-risk pregnancies and had to be on bed rest for a really long time oh so um she could do a little bit here and there but for the most part she needed to be lying down or sitting down in some capacity so i just helped her take care of her son um but she was still like around you know right yeah but uh she limited fragrances and stopped drinking caffeine that's interesting because i feel

like a lot of people consider like essential oils to be like something that would oh interesting yeah like help them in a lot of ways i wonder if it's just like what kind of fragrance yeah like synthetic i guess they're all kind of anyway who knows um but limited exposure to plastics yeah and uh meditated regularly so those were some more of the like uncommon um lifestyle changes that people had made that i was like well i'm not going to completely throw these out but those top ones were the ones that i was like uh they had they had the most in common and they also seemed like the most tangible yeah and to make the most difference i don't know so i would i wonder this might be stupid because it might be obvious but i wonder if like all of these things

too would help your chances of getting pregnant yeah naturally potentially i'm sure they would because if it's making if it's helping mature your eggs or like increasing the count of eggs that are ready for retrieval than it would in theory also work yeah for your fertility that probably is a possibility and a lot of the women so there was an option to um like say why you wanted to freeze your eggs and a lot of them were like i don't know if i want kids or like i do want kids but i don't have a partner um and like now it's just like they're not not the right time i'm not like in a place financially to have kids so there were a lot of different things like a lot of different factors but the most common were like um I I'm undecided yeah and I want to be able to

have a choice totally and um the other one was I like I might want kids but I'm not in a relationship right now so cool I love it yeah it makes so much sense just being able to have the option it's just the price of it it's just like such a it it feels a little predatory for how expensive it is yeah um absolutely and it's like very rarely covered by health insurance but i did learn there are parts that health insurance may cover okay um like just general like if you are having a history of infertility um there are different like parts of the procedure or appointments that your insurance could pay for but it's gonna obviously vary per insurance imagine being an insurance agent making these decisions for like person to person what they will or won't cover like they are like the

the end all be all of like what people are going to be able to afford even when they say they're going to cover something they like try and find a way to like not cover it yeah so it was about 50 50 like if insurance covered it or not or covered those are actually higher odds than i thought yeah i was surprised um on last week of vanderpump rules um they're one of the one of characters Lala she had a baby with her ex-fiancee Randall Emmett who ended up being like they call him Harvey Weinstein jr he's just like the work he was like running a casting couch and everything um but they had a kid she like loves this child so much ocean and she really wants another kid but she doesn't have anyone to make a kid with and she's like this baby was made from

so much love like I want to be sure that like going the route of getting a sperm donor which is what she decided the process is also filled with so much love so she threw a sperm donor selection party where she like had binders and she handed them out to all of her friends and like they all voted on who the sperm donor should be yeah yeah and so she's like I just want there to be like I want this baby to be brought into the world with love being celebrated like Ocean was and it's such like a different process but like it shouldn't be like it's still this is a great option for her to have and to for people to be able to do so like there should be a celebration around it and now she's like pretty pregnant so it's I know and she's doing it alone I think that

if you have the financial means to do that I think that's like a great route absolutely financial means then you have a great community around you yeah yeah fuck yeah why not yeah because then you can afford the child care help that you need you can afford to like take care of them and give them a great life absolutely it's just a lot less of a struggle yeah if you are in a position to do that totally yeah um and some people that you know they just know that they want to be a parent yeah and I think that's admirable yeah because if you're like like someone to make that decision to do it by themselves you know oh yeah you like really want to have another kid yeah yeah you really want to have kids and and to be a parent and like yeah care for these kids yeah so for some

people it's a calling it is it's such a wild feeling like to I mean I would imagine it would be like oh no like I like I have to do this like that must be such a beautiful thing to feel like I want to be a mom but I've never had that feeling of like I'm called to do this yeah you know like when people are like I was born to be a mom I'm like I can't relate to that that must be such a beautiful feeling when you eventually are able to be yeah if you hopefully are able to be like I can't even imagine what that would feel like you know then there are people that I know who are like some of the best mothers ever that didn't want kids and then they got pregnant and then they were like oh this is 100 something I want yeah that's wild like you really don't know

until you're faced with it and so having that option taken from you like because you weren't able to like afford to go through the the process is heartbreaking yeah it's just sad I think that more and more women are at 8 45 yeah oh my god she's an early board no it takes me forever to get started to get ready for bed so heard i've never actually followed through with 8 45 i start at midnight when the lights down here turn off it's not good um but i was going to say um i think more and more women are considering marrying their like friends and raising kids together like platonically a commune yeah because you get the benefits of um like someone's health insurance and yeah you know there's just like some better benefits to being a dual income household yeah

um and then having you know your romantic relationships in addition like outside of your platonic marriage um and i think that is really interesting yeah and i also think that that could be why the government is going for like taking away women's rights first of all um but also considering ending things like no-fault divorce um they would for sure go for gay marriage next oh yeah but is it is it gay marriage if it's if you're both straight but yeah tonically married they would definitely consider it that because their whole thing with gay marriage is it's like it like is against the like sanctity and like like an importance under god of what marriage means that's their whole thing with gay marriage

like this is not up yeah right made it up i mean every everything's everything's made up you can't you can't make all of these rules based on one religion and they do ridiculous yeah separation of church and state who is the separation of church and state in the room with us yeah right now that's why we're a country in the first place anyways um yeah i also think uh i i don't know if you've seen the tiktok i don't think i've seen it i've seen people talking about it of the guy saying basically like women are gonna have to start settling it's like well you guys need to just start settling no you know but that's crazy you need to lower your standards and start settling they're giving up they're not like we are alphas and we deserve this it's like

you just gotta just come on just get just like give up a few of your like just a guy I just it's like no they don't no they don't have to settle and I saw someone explain this really well like those men who are like mad about women not wanting to date them and like they don't believe that women can choose to be single because they don't choose to be single yeah absolutely like it's just such a foreign concept to them that like a woman would rather just like be in the peace of her own presence than be in like a doomed relationship with a guy who like doesn't contribute anything to yeah right so i mean those are the guys that you see complaining right and blowing up and like those are the guys who have those crazy bios too

yeah demanding what a woman should be in their life and it's like you are single yeah their their their their minds are evolving to fit the reality that they're never going to get what they want as long as women have standards yeah and that's crazy to not be with them yeah it's like well well and i know i have texted you about this um and we've had so many conversations about this but like they were also sold a lie they were sold a lie that they don't have to like try hard to get married and have a wife and then their wife will do all of this stuff for them there's just like this sense of entitlement and to me that's like the older I get the more I can identify it oh yeah recognize just kind of like the the complete neglect of personhood of

women and girls and it's replaced by like this false thing that they were sold their entire lives yeah of and and taught to believe that it's something that they're entitled to yeah like a piece of land yeah right no right and it was a seed of a thought and these grifters just like water it and oh yeah confirm it and water it and give it sunlight and it just turns into this like horrible tree of shit the brand of guy that has been getting on my nerves the most lately is um the like well guys like me like blah blah blah i'm like you're you're not a special boy guys what do you mean guys like you like you're not immune to patriarchy like none of us are yeah you don't know anything else yeah you it is so deeply ingrained in you and everything you do

and everything that exists around you that it is subconscious yeah you like people think of patriarchy they think it's going to be some big egregious display of toxic masculinity and then they can go that's patriarchy yeah but it's it's so much more like slimy and sneaky it's it's everywhere yeah and i mean in our lifetimes we're not going to see the end of patriarchy no and And I've accepted that. But that doesn't mean that the future generations are going to have to. I don't want them to live like that. No. Yeah. The same way that people before us like fought for the rights that we have now. Yeah. We wouldn't be wearing pants talking on a podcast. Yeah. They didn't do this for us. Totally. Yeah. i just have been getting annoyed with like dudes online mostly being like well i'm like a normal guy and i'm like yeah i i'm not blaming you for patriarchy okay like you also have you didn't have a choice yeah you know yeah but you're you're not a special boy no like because you're

you're saying well not me yeah i don't do that it's like well you aren't consciously aware of all of these yeah so read a little bit of bell hooks get back to me curl up in front of the fireplace and then I'm like you are saying guys like me but you don't mean guys like you you mean guys that are better than you yeah because I'm thinking they're like hang in there you'll you need to find some better men I'm like I know great men yeah the dudes I know they fucking rock yeah dudes rock yeah dude yeah right but I'm like I think about like Mr. Liz and I think about Frank and like just even the men that we're friends with like they aren't afraid to challenge these things that they grew up like being exposed to yeah the way that all of us were yeah so we're

able to have thoughtful nuanced conversations where no one's pointing a finger like at each other well you know and generalizing each other but they understand the idea of like when when you say men you don't it doesn't need to be specific to their life experience yes the issue still be true yeah about our experiences totally no the the issue is i'm gonna i'm gonna bring up something topically relevant that happened today we're recording this on the day that kendrick Lamar dropped his um response to uh Drake's push-up diss track and it's I'm new to all of this it's fucking I don't know what's going on fire it is one of the best diss tracks of all time and Drake fans are in I'm gonna pull this back around to what we're talking about but

Drake fans are in the comments like nah this is fucking this is weak like this is so fucking weak like all the shit it's that same kind of mentality with like when we're like oh no this is like part of patriarchy the response is always like oh patriarchy patriarchy instead of like actually like yeah and you're doing it now yeah it's like why why are we it's so much easier for them to just like poo-poo something than actually put any sort of like intelligent thought into their side of the argument well it's because they don't want to feel bad no they don't want to feel bad about themselves because you're going to like identify the things that you have done or participate in that still uphold patriarchy but like i'm not gonna blame someone who doesn't know yeah you

know but then it comes down to like we all have to learn right from wrong as a kid and it gets more complicated as an adult because there's just more complicated things that exist yeah so you need to still be able to like sit the way sit and recognize like this thing hurts other people um i don't want to be someone who hurts other people no i i care about other people and i i want i want i want to have good things and i want other people to have good things yeah so unless there are men having rights i want men to have rights but i also want everybody else to have rights you know but we already just we discussed that that can't happen that's right i mean we'll go into you know rights inflation we can't have that we can't be printing more

rights no what are we supposed to do change the constitution no you can't do that newest country with the oldest constitution okay we can't just be changing rules willy-nilly anyway anyway I don't know it's just easier for people to stay in their little bubble and not have to think about bigger more complex ideas um i don't know yeah i think in general all of us suck we suck as a collective as a species yeah yeah yeah we do oh my god i learned the cutest fact before we wrap speaking of species did you see my video about whales no oh my god okay this is the best so apparently whales have culture like they like have culture similar to how humans have culture and this was proven in the 80s yeah there are some dolphins who will wear sticks as fashion okay so

they found this pod of orcas in the pacific northwest that were one female orca was wearing a salmon a dead salmon as a hat and then the other orcas in the pod started wearing salmon hats and then it spread to two other pods for five to six weeks and then it just faded out and then like for a while after like sometimes sometimes a whale would wear a salmon on their head because they were like late to the trend though but isn't that the cutest thing in the fucking world they have whale culture salmon hats i didn't know dolphins have stick hats that's so fun yeah i don't i mean i don't know if they wear it as a hat no just stick fashion they have like a you know some some sort of stick adornment oh i love that that's adornmentable i well and i guess

if you're in the ocean and you don't have thumbs yeah it would be so much harder to create a little adornment fashion thing yeah moment so you're just gonna put a little dead dead salmon on your head call it a day whale was like that's what i and what yeah you know what i think would look good you bitches wish that you could uh-huh everyone was calling her regina regina whale or regina regina george whale in my comments she's like i love that everybody picked up on the thing that she was doing i love it she was just like this is me yeah and it does look good and what anyway shall we yeah uh do we need a uh genre let's do um like screamo that'll be interesting for you to edit yeah that's gonna i'm gonna have to take my headphones

out for that one look at how that clip I pulled away I pulled away and I did not so sorry future me I think I'm hoping that it's not loud just um shocking yes yeah all right well anyway bye