The Hoely Hour - E183 Bung-a-hoes

Episode Date: May 10, 2024

Bonobos are so women in STEM if u really think about it. What's it called if you and a friend have done the deed on the same bed at different times? Amelia shares a horror story about a relationship. It's so bad you'll be asking yourself if it was the plot of a 90's romcom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

i have a friend who she was you have another friend it's not what it looks like babe i think about you the whole time welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at LizBallSoHard. You can also watch us on YouTube or listen ad-free on Patreon at patreon.com slash theholyhour. Check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com. We had a Pinterest meeting at work and... A Pinterest meeting? Yeah, like we were just talking to a Pinterest vendor about some ads we're going to

be running and yeah so the guy the rep is younger than me and he was like laying out all of the demographics that we could reach and he was saying like there's gen z there's millennials and then there's like people starting families which are also millennials but like it was that's how we like bucketed them and he was explaining how gen z's travel and then he was explaining how millennials travel and like it's like they're a little more tired they want to like you know really like go somewhere and relax and they don't want to be like too spontaneous millennials and i was like and he's gen z and i was like it was like how he was saying it i was like you think that we're so old you know and that's fine but hearing him talk i was like oh i honestly i think it's

really fucking annoying when people who are not in there they're like 28 or 29 and they're like we're not the same age group i'm like no we fucking are you're going to turn 30 and you need to deal with it and you're also just like a younger millennial yeah i'm pretty sure like people that are 28 right now are millennials i don't know i just like i think that is a super annoying thing that i have been seeing online a lot lately and then i'm also like it makes me sad i'm like why are people so afraid to be in their 30s society i was afraid to be in my 30s yeah like i was to really i had to talk about it in therapy like a lot i just it annoys me i know and i mean now that i'm here i'm like oh i mean it's just well and then making other well so the tiktok

i had been watching was like a guy who he was talking to his co-worker who's like four years older than him and she was like yeah it was like our age and then he was like our age like i'm not your age i'm 28 i'm like oh yeah you're basically 30 and you're acting like you're fucking 18 right that's why you're not my age and i and then i commented like well you're considered like the same age group because at that point in your life you should be like having a little bit more disposable income you have your shit together a little bit more by 28 to like you know 32 and then like you're spending time with your friends and you don't you're childless you know that's like why you're in the same age group and then he was like well where is like my disposable

income and my friends and I was like I I just meant you should have more than you do when you're 22 yeah it's like oh you tell me oh I was gonna say this is in a similar vein um I noticed myself like feeling kind of like annoyed when I see teenagers or people like in college well so then when we were in Whistler and we stopped for dinner the like hostess was like I don't know maybe like 20 and I felt like this twinge of like annoyance and then I was like hold on I need to check this like why am I feeling this way and I think it was this was the first time in my life where I have been like I don't know if I want to say envious of someone's youth but I think it felt a little bit like that it was in a similar vein and then um i just kind of spent like the weekend analyzing

that feeling and like um just how i'm glad that i was able to recognize that yeah because i was thinking about how like when i was that age you have you know women in their 30s and up just essentially telling you like how you should be living your life yeah and whatever and that is something that's so frustrating at that age too yeah they're like well you should just be like you should fuck whoever you want and all this other stuff and not waste your time with these dumb long distance boyfriends and like that's not helpful advice when you're younger and you need to like make mistakes to learn yeah because you know i'm looking at these young people and i'm like oh my god you you guys are gonna do the dumbest shit and like don't waste your time doing that

and then i was like we need to not be giving girls that kind of advice yeah instead we should be helping them like not telling them what to do but like helping them learn how to like navigate complicated feelings and like when to set a boundary and what that actually looks like which is just like okay if someone is making you feel this way in a relationship like maybe you need to leave that relationship just like things like that yeah like how to handle situations rather than what to do in a situation totally that that sounds like i'm saying the same fucking thing like instead of prescriptive action of what to do just like um how to guardrails yeah like navigate your feelings yeah make decisions for yourself um i saw another tiktok of like a parent

explaining like he's like my daughter sent this to me and said this is how you and mom used to parent and um she asked me to comment on this video and he was like essentially explaining like with his kids he's like we don't need to teach kids to be good we need to teach them to make good decisions yeah so his example was like they didn't have a curfew his kids don't have a curfew um and you know if they or bedtime so if they stay up late that's their fault and they're tired the next day yeah they're he's like they're like oh man i'm so tired and he's like oh how how late did you stay up you stay up late and then they're like yeah and then he's like that wasn't a very good decision then was it you learn consequences yeah and i was also thinking about

like my parents didn't teach me to make decisions they taught me to be a good kid yeah and that doesn't really set children up for success in adulthood and it comes with a lot of complications that you have to kind of face which is just like not knowing how to regulate your emotions other than like how your parents made you which was to not have them yeah push them down and be quiet and like do whatever you need to do to not make a scene yeah or whatever um so that's interesting that I mean I'd never thought about that but that's how my parents raised me was like to make my own decisions and learn consequences through that because and I never did I was such a good kid because I never like I would realize like oh if I stay I mean I would still stay up late but

like for like curfews and shit you know it's like I don't want to be out late because like I don't know it just feels irresponsible rather than like oh i have to be home by nine like i never had that yeah well because when kids are like acting out in that way it's because they're retaliating yeah they're not it's not because they necessarily want to be doing that thing it's because they're retaliating against a rule yeah that's why like ex-mormon kids like act the fuck out and it's like why are what's happening that they need they feel like they need to retaliate to like kind of have this sense of independence yeah so I I just thought that like I guess I'm connecting a lot of different dots but back to my original kind of observation it made me realize how like

how Karens become Karens like they can't accept or handle that there are people who are like young and beautiful they're youthful like yeah i i hate seeing skincare videos because i'm like okay i'm ready to tune the fuck in but i'm like they're 20 everything's gonna look good on your skin because you're 20 yeah and that's i'm happy for you you should be taking care of your skin like you should take care of your body as early as you can because like this is your one body and it'll make aging less like painful yeah and i mean that physically like yeah one day you're like why is it why am I in so much pain uh-huh so I'm anyways I'm just like I but I don't know if I can take this seriously because we don't have the same issues that we're trying to resolve with our

skin my skin is different that reminds me I joined um the skincare in your 30s subreddit now that I now that I know how to read it and it has already like worked wonders like I've had I was thinking your skin looks amazing thank you I started so I've had these like bumps on my chin I know this diversion okay just and they're not i was gonna go to the dermatologist they're not gonna help i've been on so many different things for this i've been dealing with it for like 10 years um like a fungus yeah it can be but it's it could be a bunch of different things but like the catch all for it is zinc soap oh the first day that i used it i saw a difference okay and now like when i pop them they don't come back oh i don't pop them it's really like they're too small and they

satisfying like when you like get one out though but then it could also irritate them and make them into a bigger zit which has happened to me too many times but like now when I wash my face I do zinc soap and then I do my Cetaphil and it's like the next day you can't see any until like the end of the day they like start to kind of come out a little bit but it's so much better now I have been um I ordered a bunch of like Korean skincare hell yeah and it came in last it came in over the weekend and so far i fucking love it your skin looks dewy as fuck it feels so amazing well and i had been like i had been watching so many videos and reading different things and it's overwhelming you're like what even should my skincare routine be i knew i wanted to implement

like different um like korean skincare products i just didn't know what ones right because you have different needs totally so it has been i just love like doing little things like that you know yeah and i still need to go back to the dermatologist because i'm out of uh retinol yeah back to the conversation that um about like kind of feeling a type of way about younger people i remember when i was a freshman in college i remember this thought so clearly i was like having the best fucking time and I felt like such an adult being away from school or being away from home and I remember thinking to myself like next year I'm going to think that freshmen are so young and clueless and I have to remember how I feel in this moment because I'm not young and clueless

like I mean looking back I was but like I'm like I feel very mature and sure of myself in this moment and I have to be able to give younger people that same grace yeah and the next year when freshmen would come in I was like oh my god you must be so fucking hyped it just like changed perspective to kind of like ground yourself and be like okay how did I feel at that age it's different because it's so easy to think about like if I meet someone that's like five years younger than me I'm like like you know nothing but like when I was 25 I knew like a lot you know yeah like not everything but like I'm not they're not kids you know what I mean I don't them but the jealousy about youth is so fucking real well and that like that's totally why you

see these karens like stomping around being mean to people because they they just can't deal with it right they're like projecting their own insecurities onto these other people and it like enrages them yeah shall we move on yeah uh i this wasn't one of my topics but then i was thinking about it right before we hit record um you know how like when you hook up with the same guy you're called like tunnel sisters yeah i was like actually kind of thinking about this recently why well i was thinking about oh no when i was in college i was like a junior i believe or maybe it was like the end of my sophomore year i don't know i had just broken up with my like long-term boyfriend that i had been dating long distance for two fucking years

too long too long and um like i don't know guys did not waste any time like trying to hit me up after that so yeah i i just didn't really know how to like say no and i know that's not i'm not blaming these guys right i just like didn't really know what i was doing yeah you don't okay whatever and I hooked up with these two guys who were friends not at the same time and they didn't know and I was I only liked one of them the other one I was like we we only hooked up once and I was like embarrassed of that um but then they're friends and then they hung out and they were like so guess who I like hooked up with and they told they were hanging out with two of my other friends and um and then they said liz and

then the other guy was like wait i'm hooking up with liz and the both of them were like what that is so they were like mean to me about it and i was like if a guy was doing this shit yeah why are they mean to you about it first of all they were both two years older than me like i'm a sophomore i can't even legally go to the bars and these two 22 year old guys are like mad at me for hooking up with each of them one time right what were they mad about i don't know and i wonder what they would say about it now they would probably be embarrassed that's embarrassing behavior yeah and i was like how the fuck if a guy was doing this no one would give a shit they'd be like yeah men right you know but it's like oh well you're not in a

relationship like i'm not in an exclusive relationship with either of you i also just got out of a relationship maybe they were embarrassed because like they that means that they like basically fucked each other i don't make the rules it's just science yeah you guys docked your dicks well and then they're like uber what do they call it tunnel buddies yeah tunnel brother well people used to call it eskimo brothers that's what it was yeah eskimo brothers that's not okay and i was like that oh well it's not it was never okay to say but yeah now it's people are people know it's not okay don't try and slut shame me yeah i didn't do anything wrong no anyways i was thinking about that and i was thinking about how they were like

oh let's go my brothers and they like were trying to like make me feel bad about it and uh another girl tried to make me feel bad about it too she tried to slut shame me i was like whatever i hate that you're a boring christian girl couldn't be me but okay so i was thinking about this because what would you if you were to assign a word to when two people have sex on the same bed oh but not at the same time but they've just had sex on the same bed what would you call that hmm that is a very good question bed bros okay I don't know you and I are probably bed bros now hell yeah and I know exactly what you're talking about and I was gonna ask you but I was like no no I'll let her tell me uh-huh I'm not gonna uh interrupt yeah yeah yep hell yeah it

was yeah i'll tell the story so i mean you've already talked about in the past this place it's like it's a little it's a day spa in seattle that like it's very you rent out rooms sexy it's super sexy also that building is beautiful and so you like rent out a room you do a couple's massage and then you have like an hour or however long you paid for like in the whole space together and you there's like a jet tub and a shower and a sauna um and then they have like a bed upstairs the tea lounge the tea lounge that's like they know what they're doing oh yeah i'm like should we look for a camera because we that's what frank said he was like are there gonna be cameras in there maybe i mean who knows as long as they're not posting it anywhere yeah you can look if it's

your for your own personal viewing pleasure and i don't know about it yeah maybe that's like in the small print on the waiver you're definitely creepy yeah if they did that no they definitely don't do that no they definitely don't do that but regardless they seem big on consent i also haven't said this to Frank but I was thinking yesterday I'm like I think that we just had sex on a bed that Liz and Mr. Liz have had sex on because we rented out the same room yeah so you and I are well I didn't remind you because I didn't want to be like we fucked there too no well and also I don't know I just wanted you to experience it on your own yeah yeah yeah you know that I'm so glad we got that that room is unbelievable I think you just lounge around

naked yeah i mean we did lay the sheets down on everything before we like sat on stuff i mean not the bed but just i'm trying to think were we naked like the couch and i was naked in the sauna but other than that i wasn't naked anywhere besides dude that massage was the best i think it's easy to presume that people will be naked did you bring any wine yeah but we didn't have time so we because we had the massage for an hour and then we had the room for an hour but i definitely recommend like the longest option yeah i think it's like two hours after or an hour and a half or a 90 minute massage the dude that was giving me my massage he was the best by the way i also looked him up to make sure he's gay because i was kind of like some of the stuff he

was saying i was like but he's gay so it makes it like a little bit less you know what i mean like i said he was asking me about the pressure and i was like it's perfect i'm in heaven and he was like oh i can be your archangel he was like saying stuff like that and frank would like he was like was he hitting on you when he left and i was like no i think he's gay and then i found his face that would be ballsy as fuck yeah with frankling right there your partner right there and then someone hitting on you wild and in such an intimate setting yeah but no he was just he's just a goof um but i got his personal business card because he has his own practice and it was the best massage i've ever gotten oh hell yeah i have to give you his information i want to go back dude he's the

fucking best well sexy massage sexy massage so anyway and then um once we bunged and and showered the time was up we even like made tea and didn't have time to drink it it was pretty sad yeah we did the whole like the long that's such a good idea and we lounged around we took a bath we had some wine did you like do like a no phone rule yeah we didn't look at our phone yeah i think we took a couple pictures oh that we didn't take not like not like sexy pictures just in general of like the place oh my god that place was amazing i could have looked at the art all day the owner is an artist so he like does all of the art around there and it's just the most beautiful place ever can we say that we're um bung brothers we're bung we're bung bros

bung bros bung bros sounds like bang bros which is that porn channel yeah um bung bitches bunga hoes i like that i love that that's a new add it to the dictionary it's the holy hour dictionary consider it added um but that wasn't one of my topics my second short topic today before my long topic was well you know how we've talked about bonobos in the past and how they're like matriarchal and like they like settle disputes like with the females did you know that they also instead of like fighting over resources they'll fuck about it and then they'll just split the resource hell yeah i love that that's what happens when you let females lead let's fuck about it yeah you could

be getting laid fellas yeah you just followed the bonobos vote bonobo best practices 2028 this is part of our this is this is a long game for us running for president let women handle conflict and then you guys will fuck about it yeah that sounds like a win-win yeah all around and if you don't think so like that's why you're not getting laid that's why you're not getting laid simple math um anyway i learned that yesterday i was watching um wired's tech support series and they have they had a new one called ape support and it's like a woman that's like an ape special specialist an ape scientist and she was talking about bonobos and like all of the amazing things that they do they're so fucking cool interesting anyway so that was my short topic i love that um

do you want to before i jump into my story time do you have anything you want to talk about yeah i guess i have one last thought um completely separate from everything um i read a like short i don't know if it's like a short story or like an article type thing um but it's called the crane wife and it's not the story the crane wife it's like i let me see if i have it pulled up still um it's called the crane wife by cj hauser um for the paris review and this woman writes about like calling off her wedding with her fiance and how almost like a week after she was like i should have i felt like i should have been like freaking out because i just blew up my life um but she went on this like scientist trip to observe cranes in texas and because they're an endangered species

and there were all kinds of different people on this trip with her and she was just talking about observing these cranes and the story it's I believe a Japanese story called the crane wife and it's about a crane who falls in love with a man and she doesn't want the man to find out that she's a crane so she plucks out all of her feathers to look like a woman and it's it's because she knows he won't love her if he finds out she's a bird um and every night she's you know by the morning she's exhausted because she has spent all this time making herself look like a woman and um the author just kind of talks about how her relationship with her ex-fiance was him not even meeting her basic needs so she she felt embarrassed that she had needs and i

I could relate to that wow so much and it was just like so beautifully written I highly recommend reading it and um I think that the overall point of it is like it's okay to have needs everybody has needs yeah and you have these needs in a relationship and you shouldn't be with someone who is completely unwilling to meet those needs yeah so she'd be like you never tell me you love me and you'd be like well I said it like twice before like you should just assume that I always love you I show you in other ways yeah line before like she they got dressed up to go to a wedding and she was wearing her favorite dress and she was like wanted him to compliment her so she was like you look nice and then she's like tell me I look nice like come on and then he was like

I told you you look nice when you wore that last year wow keeping score yeah and then he's like you should just assume you still look nice in it and just like what a douchebag thing so she just was trying to convince herself like she didn't need these things and yeah and that she was ridiculous for even thinking that that was something that she wanted yeah it was just like a very like beautifully written it's that's so relatable it's and it's such a practice to have to like work that out of your psyche after you're in a relationship or multiple relationships where you have to like keep asking for things like still to this day i mean i've been with frank for a year we just celebrated one year on monday congratulations thank you so much but i'm still

shaking off past relationships where like if i feel like if i bring something up to him that i feel like i like need from him i like feel ashamed to the point where like i won't bring it up until i'm like boiling over about it and he's just like absolute like i guess like i'll do this thing that you are asking me to do without even like skipping a beat and it's like oh there that is how people are supposed to respond but when you've historically been with people that make you feel like an idiot for asking for things yeah that starts to just get embedded in how you expect people to respond to like your very basic needs it's that's really sad these were small things and i told myself it was stupid to feel disappointed by them i had arrived in my 30s believing that to need things

from others made you weak i think this is true for lots of people but i think it is especially true for women when men desire things they are passionate when they feel they have not received something they need they are deprived or even emasculated and given permission for all sorts of behavior but when a woman needs she is needy she is meant to contain within her own self everything necessary to be happy that i wanted someone to articulate that they loved me that they saw me was a personal failing and I tried to overcome it that's so true like why is that that that's the case it's like because there's this idea that women are like shrill and needy and like pushy and demanding and like that's just like not true but that's

yeah how society paints women well and then at the end of this whole article um you know she it's almost like she went to a summer camp and there's a group of kind of just random people in this little like crane observation crew and um the guy who like ran the whole thing like he had overheard her telling someone that she called off her wedding the week before and he didn't say anything but the next day it was like her and uh the group leader and another girl and um he was like you should drive the boat and she was like and I realized it's it's not a significant thing for someone else to recognize another person's needs it's not that significant no it's like and I was like that is I mean that's such a hard thing to

swallow too and it's also it just makes me really sad that like this is so many people's relationships yeah is them not meeting each other's needs and like resenting each other for even having them in the first place and i'm like why are you even in a relationship yeah i know we've talked about that before but it's just like it's so we all know someone where you're like they hate each other why are they in this relationship yeah hey yeah why are you together if you're not making each other happy it's because you like being around them yeah and like you would rather do that than like have to see them with someone else and which is it's because of possession the hope that they're gonna change yeah and it's like that no they're never

gonna change have they ever been anything different that reminds me I might have told this story on the podcast but when Frank like there was I don't remember how it came up but I asked him what my full name was this was like we had moved in together at this point we were sitting right on this couch and I was like well what's what's my middle name and he rattled off both which are not like common middle names and I was like oh my god like yeah and he was like Amelia the bar has got to be higher than me knowing than me knowing your name yeah he's like I signed a lease with you of course like of course I know your full name but it's like that in that moment I was like oh my god like it has been like pulling teeth getting someone to

know my birthday you know in the past or like just any detail about me that just somebody that I'm dating for more than like a couple of months should know just like to be curious about another person yeah right so when i he knew my full name which is fucking great like looking back on that like it's funny because it's like that's but it's also sad i was like oh my god babe like you know my full name like yeah this is like of course i fucking knew of course yeah he was so disappointed he was like amelia honey he's like all right we gotta raise the bar you need to expect more gonna raise these expectations this is a group effort now yeah right this is an us problem um yeah i really want to read that that sounds like a beautifully written article and also

the crane wife the story sounds yeah sad but it's great yeah i wanted to read that too i think it's like a pretty short story the the actual like the japanese story is that considered a fable or is that only when asap writes them these are great questions i guess we'll never know because we only hear like asap's fables yeah i think that is probably still a fable well what's the difference between like a fable is fables are full fiction and then a myth could be true yeah i think and fables are also like there's usually like a moral of the story involved and i feel like the korean wife has a moral when i was in elementary school we had a play called the feast of fables oh um and it was a musical that my the theater teacher wrote oh

and it was just like a bunch of small stories i and i very much wanted to be the raven in the swans and the raven yeah or something like that yeah and i was hell yeah and i drowned she did it folk oh god i don't think the raven drowns the raven wants to be a swan so it jumps in the water to try and swim with the the swans and then she dies because she drowns that's r.i.p i was just always like a little emo child yeah i mean it's like leave me alone i'm listening to avril levine i want to drown i want to drown mom it's not a phase mom um speaking of ravens i saw a video of this is so fucking off the rails now but i saw a video of a raven playing tic-tac-toe and it understood the rules like it got excited when it won i love ravens they're so cute that's so

cute but anyway i don't really love like a sentient like attack creature though you know what i mean which is why i don't like monkeys besides bonobos moving along i have a story that i have been dying to tell and i finally got the okay to tell it okay um i'm i'm excited i have friend who she was you have another friend it's not what it looks like babe i think about you the whole time um she was dating this awful dude horrible like this like juiced up meathead like just the worst and he cheated on her the entire relationship but then the second that they broke up and she hooked up with someone else he like went off the fucking rails about it he's one of those um it might be the steroids honestly that's kind of terrifying oh yeah yeah you don't know

what someone could possibly do yeah it's fucked so he when they broke up she ended up meeting her next boyfriend pretty soon after that and she wasn't going to like get into a relationship that quickly but she it just happened that way and her first boyfriend i need to give these people names because it's going to get complicated um um bad guy we'll call him chad chad is the strong man yeah this just seems easy okay and then what's our what's our main character's name um i want i want her to have like a princess name she oh our main character yeah um uh cinderella antagonist okay our protagonist is cinderella chad's ex-boyfriend is chad most recent boyfriend is greg greg okay okay cool thank you that was good i'm glad that we

we got to do that together so when cinderella and chad broke up she met greg pretty soon after that and greg and chad kind of like ran in the same circle like the meathead circle yeah the meathead circle like the the seattle meathead circle yeah the seattle meathead circle jerk is small and so they were their beepuses and i asked her about steroids yeah but it's actually a misnomer yeah i know i was kind of disappointed i know i was like yeah but he had a really small dick now my ex doesn't have any excuse i don't discriminate anyway so they weren't friends but they knew each other and um so when greg and cinderella got into a relationship like three months after they had decided to be exclusive together chad hires a stripper

like a like a straight up i don't know if he met her at the strip club or like slid into her dms got like an idea yeah but he messaged this stripper on instagram and offered her free training sessions because he's a trainer if she would trick greg into cheating on cinderella and so she did it and she got all of these videos from it that cinderella sent me these to view and they are um chad had sent them via the cloud so they expired like two years ago which is i need to see them so she's looking for them but apparently they're like videos that the stripper took from like her hip basically of him of Greg being like we have to get our story straight like we're gonna tell Cinderella that like all that we did was go to dinner and she

was like yeah okay whatever you say and she sent all of this to Cinderella and then Chad sent all of it to Cinderella in this email that was like I just want you to know the person that you're with like he's not a good guy I don't want anything out of this I don't want to date you I just like want you to know I just wanted to sabotage your happiness right yeah it's like I care about you and I want you to be safe like you cheated on her the entire relationship what do you mean what do you mean so she confronted Greg about this and he like owned up to all of it whatever they like moved past it it was like still early on in the relationship she then found out a year and a half later because she went through no no it was exactly a year later she went through his

phone a year to the day and saw that he had been talking to bitches the whole time yeah what the fuck like after you get first of all given a chance do you how do you have so much time on your hands he like didn't really have a job if he had spent that time looking for a fucking job absolutely he would he would we would be somewhere yes you know yeah i don't know some people are pathetic piece of shit dude and i never liked that guy either like every time he was around i was kind of like him your vibes are off because cinderella is like actually she's like stunning she's like the sweetest person ever she's so hard working she's a business owner she like really she's like a boss bitch and then she's just like is dating this like these fucking losers yeah

i mean how often i feel like that's such a common thing like how many awesome women do you know who dating losers a lot i'm like what i'm like what are you guys doing like so many other guys that i know would never do this to you i know i know why are you picking this guy well i think that it doesn't help that her type is like meatheads because like give a different type of chance yes absolutely come on so yeah this i mean the audacity to hire somebody to get your ex's new boyfriend to cheat on your ex yeah to then be like nah like i told you he's a piece of shit like that is psychopath behavior like so are you though yeah you you did the same thing so why was it okay when you did it yeah but it's a problem when this guy did it uh-huh and he did it because of you

you created this whole situation not to say that he's innocent by any means right it's just like if it's that easy for you to cheat on your girlfriend yeah it's the pot calling the kettle black yeah you you both deserve to be in the same fucking meathead crew the other recording they should just fuck each other and they should they absolutely should but they'd cheat on each other so yeah and that would be i think the world would implode at that point two cheaters fucking each other and then cheating on each other that's too much for that would break the time space continuum and they're both angry meatheads on steroids yeah oh man that open a fifth dimension masculinity yeah would crumble which is kind of nice yeah it kind of sounds nice maybe let's let

let's make it happen okay yeah let's set them up that's the okay yeah new goals i know that maybe you're straight but have you entertained the idea hear me out fuck each other of fucking guys that you're trying to look like i yeah they actually do all look alike it's crazy but the other recording that this that the that chad sent cinderella was of cinderella calling greg while greg was with the stripper um being like you're acting really weird like where are you right now and he would he was like lying and the stripper i should give her a name but now she's just the stripper was recording the conversation the whole time to be like this is proof that i was with him when he was lying to you about and so i was like i don't know this she kind of sounds like a girl's

girl but then she's like no also fucked him so not really like like everyone except for cinderella is the fucking worst in this scenario agreed yeah like she's not a girl's girl the stripper is not a girl's girl no a girl's girl doesn't go fuck someone else's boyfriend because a personal trainer offered them free classes it's like you're yeah i'm sorry unless what is the logic here unless he told her a lie about what it was that he she was doing you know what i mean but i don't know what he would have told her yeah like i don't know and then she had one of her friends message cinderella and be like hey i saw greg out at the bars with another girl like you should reach out to so-and-so so-and-so the stripper the stripper and she didn't know either of them so

cinderella was like how the fuck do you know who i'm dating but it was because then the stripper had asked her friend can you message cinderella and tell her to check her dms fucking wild dude wild hey girly yeah that's another hey girly yeah dude isn't that crazy honestly the first time you told me i couldn't believe it i know like the weirdest shit happens every day in real life yeah like sometimes yeah the craziest weirdest thing will happen and you're like there's no way if you saw it in a movie you'd be like that would never happen right yeah and that's one of those this is extravagant yeah this is bad writing childish yeah so childish yeah this man is like 42 oh my god i know that's disgusting i know i should show you what he looks like have

i shown you i think you have i think you've shown me both both of the meatheads dude chad is scary looking i'm like what are you you're you're making a you're giving other gym bros a bad look yeah there are so many golden retriever gym boys yes out there absolutely who are just happy to not be an asshole yep you know just work on themselves get healthy look how they want to look these guys it's like there was um a bodybuilding competition in town two weeks ago and so like a bunch of people that were traveling to seattle for the convention were working out at my gym and it was scary in there like these people have like muscles on their muscles and like not even in an exaggerate like that's not it was like i've never seen so many muscle like they looked like one of

those like anatomical like without skin on but then bigger it's so scary and it's like that's not natural those aren't natural bodybuilders like when you can see all of the veins yeah and they look like a balloon animal that's not natural you didn't like no it's just scary like liver king don't even get me started on the liver king i just selling his selling his stuff saying that's how he got jacked but really meanwhile yeah that man is gonna have gout if he doesn't already he probably does for sure has gout and he's a dad he can join gout dads oh gout dads i forgot about gout dads it's a very exclusive club anyway i don't want to be a gout dad that was my um that was my story what a ride yeah i thought

it was going to be a longer story than that i wonder i want to know where they're where are they now they broke up they're not together anymore i mean that's good yeah when did they break up um they've been breaking up for a while but um what does that mean like they like he had to move out but then he like together in a studio apartment dude no no fucking way yeah this guy's a bum no he just kind of couch surfs if i lived in even in a one bedroom with my partner both of us would be dead yeah we would have killed each other there's no way there's no way but yeah that's a studio apartment it's like we're fighting you can go in the kitchen and i'll go in the bedroom right that's literally what they would do she would go into the bathroom when she was mad

yeah i can't i really can't imagine doing that yeah but anyway well and it was her space originally what a bum what a loser a literal bum that's i'm gonna make i'm gonna make a fake account to harass him from he doesn't have an instagram because he's sad that he can't grow on instagram literally yeah like he's like how do i put steroids on instagram yeah i can't grow these the way i could grow my muscles yeah i guess you could buy them that kind of is like this buying followers is like the steroids of instagram they don't actually engage with your content these bots that's true damn have you seen an engagement farm before no it is insane it is a bunch of phones on stands and they're plugged in and this software like engages with different

videos and stuff and likes things so that's like a like if you were to buy followers that's crazy uh-huh that's scary it was like a auditorium full of them it was huge that's so scary that's so like it's apocalyptic yeah and the fact that they're doing this for money because there is a market for that yeah i don't like that at all it's it it made my little marketing brain run around i was like oh my god you know what makes me kind of sad it is dystopian for sure just that's the word i was looking for it's very dystopian i you know how instagram removed they like made it possible to hide your like count it always kind of like makes me wonder when people do that because it's like if somebody

has like a hundred thousand followers and they hide their likes i'm like is it because you bought your followers and they're not engaging with your well i noticed when i hide my like count i get more likes isn't that interesting that is interesting yeah so i don't know who knows it's i've noticed it when because we've been trying to figure out which influencers to work with at work and like i'm trying to see their engagement i mean that's definitely like a benefit for them yeah you can't see the engagement right but it's like you have to kind of unless they like send a deck but then you kind of have to like take their word for it so it does it just feels a little because so many people buy followers yeah and then you can see how many plays their

reels are getting they haven't been able to you can't hide that so you can kind of get an idea of like are people actually looking at your stuff or are these fake people there's gonna be a new way i bet there's gonna be a new way to measure kpis in social yeah at some point i've also heard though that if you buy followers but they don't they're not like engaging followers they just like follow you and your posts will won't get as much traction because the algorithm's taking into account how many of your followers are interacting with your stuff and so like it won't show it to like your actual followers because a lot of your followers aren't engaging with it so it kind of fucks up your whole game at the end of the day i think i've talked about this on the podcast i watch

watched a documentary i believe it's an hbo documentary on like trying to make influencers but and it was like an experiment like did like virtual influencers yeah to become an influencer so they found like random people oh like real people yeah and they're like we're gonna try and make them into an influencer that's cool yeah that's interesting that's very one girl actually became one oh fuck yeah do you should watch the documentary about um people making their pets influencers it's i have thought about that well i've thought about if i made grandpa into an influencer because he's such a goober he's a character he's so annoying he already hosts a podcast yeah we're not we're not at my place today so you can't hear him but he does

have a lot of great things to say especially when you're sleeping we we've been calling it this this this might be questionable but uh like he will be super noisy and whiny maybe like an hour before we wake up or a half hour and we'll put him in what we call jail which is just the guest bathroom we close him in there just scream in there we can't hear him oh he probably does i think well and sometimes i'll get up because i'm like i can't deal with this i'm gonna put him in jail i'll get up and he runs to the bathroom like he wants to be in there sometimes it's bizarre are they like are they cave animals sometimes he can he i think he likes to figure out try and figure out how to get out oh it's a little game for him that little shit he would be such a

good influencer he's a he's a little he's and he's so pretty too he's a beautiful cat and that is also another thing i'm like you would be everyone's favorite cat if you had a better personality I think he has a great personality he's he can be very very sweet but like I think if you were around him the way that I am yeah you would get it would get absolutely quick it's kind of like with Polly yeah I was yeah speaking of Polly I was talking to Frank about making Polly an influencer because she's so fucking cute she's just she's so fucking cute she's cute and he's like I don't know I don't really want to have that kind of like business transaction relationship with her which is so cute it's like making your child like a child star oh yeah like she won't

know and then she can like pay some of our bills you know like what's the harm in that because you're not cheap i'm always like i i'll ask mr liz i'll be like am i am i too mean to to grandpa we call him he has so many nicknames too we usually call him sploof splonk is another one because he's just all splonky he is very splonky um so i'm like am i too like am i being too mean sometimes i feel really bad when he gets on my nerves yeah but he's like screaming all the time and he has long meows too oh it's ridiculous yeah yeah like 30 seconds yeah it's impressive and he's like absolutely not you love these cats way too like so much like i do carry him around like a baby i snuggle with him all the time yeah like he gets endless attention they're living the

dream yes too like right and they're animals too like they i watched a video of i know the dogs and cats are different but i watched a video of a puppy golden retriever like being really hyper on his mom and she like barked at him like to get him to stop like a scary bark and he just like sat down and it's like that's what they think you know what i mean like loud noises is like a stop it's not like a mom's being mean to me oh it's not just like a to gramps and he could be minding his own business like laying on the couch or in a sun spot and the second i get up to go to the bathroom if i close the door he's like and he's like trying to open it and i'm like that'd be a lesson just leave me alone let me have two seconds to pee in peace he's preparing you for potential

parenthood that was a really good alliteration that felt good to say if I have a kid that is like my cat yeah if I have a kid that's like Polly well here's the difference if he could articulate to me what he wanted yeah instead of screaming that's yeah amazing I would love that like what are you meowing about all the time yeah I know it's just for attention yep absolutely she she'll Polly will cry just a high-pitched cry all the time like she'll have all of her needs met she'll have been on a walk she'll have played she'll have eaten she has water and she'll just lay there and cry and it's like what more could you need what more i don't even know what else to do i'm sorry she just wants attention and i get it like same sister but like say that

like also gramps like if he wants attention he won't he won't come and get attention yeah like he won't come sit on your lap he will scream at you until you pick him up or eventually he'll figure it out and be like i guess i'll sit up here but it takes everything for myself it is work it is so much work liz is checking in on my cat this weekend thank you for doing that yeah of course bro i'm so fucking sorry i'm going to vegas y'all so if you could keep me in your thoughts um i'll be there by the time this episode comes out if you if you could return in one piece let it burn what is that uh i was singing the cranberries oh oh but i was doing a bit um if you come across a sex in the city um slot machine every person i know who has played one of those

has won some decent money oh yeah okay amazing so if you come across one you know try it out throw a couple bucks in there see what happens hell yeah oh my god this place is gonna be i didn't even think about the gambling aspect of this because i'm gonna have you ever played a slot machine yeah okay i've been to vegas a couple of times the first time i went i was really young and it was a disaster trip um the second time i went was just for a night which is the perfect amount of time in vegas just a night and then just fucking get the hell out of dodge yeah um but uh you know i feel like i'm i have the potential of having a gambling problem i'm like one of those personalities like i i don't know if you i don't think you will because here's the

thing i hate losing money so the second you don't win money i feel like you'll be out that's true that's why i'm out but then it's like it gets to a point where you invest so much money in it like if you invest ten dollars it's like well fuck like i just invested ten dollars so i have to like i need to be up i might be able to like get that money back so then you could do another 10 and then you're in 20 in and it's like well i can't fucking give up now which is the whole thing you know what's fucked too is that there's no clocks or windows in casinos that's fucked it's smart open container walk around with your plastic cup it's fucking crazy man anyway it's weird that i'm from there yeah it is i know i think about

that constantly haunting terrifying well how long have we been recording for it says an hour and a minute on my yeah 59 minutes i think we're good okay it's a beautiful day it is here in seattle it do be it's gonna be hot this weekend i know i'm excited i can show off my new tattoos hell yeah do they look so good i was just thinking how crisp your lines are thank you they healed really really nicely thank you i'm yeah because i haven't been able to show off the ones in my upper arms i know so stoked about that beautiful weekend the sun is still up which is fantastic yeah oh my god it was up when we left the spa last night at like 9 p.m yeah it's 8 p.m right now and it looks like it could be like three yeah remember when it's dark all the time yeah oh

yeah i remember this is so nice it really is we're getting a little taste of summer microdosing summer hell yeah microdose that vitamin d anyway um pick a genre um like what's a what's a good genre that we can you do polka if you lead it i'm sure that i could follow um i don't know what polka sounds like okay we love you it's not polka that felt like that's polka that was definitely wasn't polka that felt like all like oompa that was oompa music oompa oompa boom boom boom like you know like yeah yeah like the you know not oompa loompa music not oompa loompa music no is it an actual genre i don't know if

it is or if that's just what my mom's always called it but it's like when you blow into a jar kind of it's like you know when like they're like like the people following oh yeah yeah with the trombones yeah i feel like that's oompa it's like a german kind of feel like a like a um oktoberfest band kind of music that's what i was going for i think that is polka okay i could be wrong you know what and we never claim to be a fact-checking podcast no we don't so no we don't we're just out here doing our best all right well and that's on polka and that's on polka polka dot period bye