The Hoely Hour - E189 Dwight, Dipsh*t or Droid? with Chesko

Episode Date: June 28, 2024

Amelia is lucky enough to co-host with Chesko (AKA The Speech Prof) this week. Did you know that it’s basically impossible to determine who said a quote between Dwight Schrute, a Podcast Alpha Male or Chat GPT? They also discuss grifters, internet fame, and navigating discovering their neurodiversities later in life. Be sure to check out Chesko’s podcast Mr. Pick Me & the Man Hater wherever you listen to podcasts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hello! It's just me today, Amelia. Not that you can't tell the difference between our voices. Liz is on vacation and so this week I am lucky enough to be interviewing Chesco, the speech prof. I am certain you've seen his videos. He is just the best. I am such a fangirl um he is so funny and smart and he's become sort of like a like a north star for me in uh the social media space so I feel really lucky that he wanted to be on the podcast and uh here's here's the interview that we had I hope you enjoy it yeah oh god all right welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm

on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at the holy hour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com i i don't know if it's an age thing but i like i've started seeking out ways to make myself cry i like really like just for like an outlet you know because i realized i was crying at like commercials and just like really stupid shit like that and i'm like clearly i have it pent up what if i just like look for an opportunity to sob and it's really been it's been a good practice for me i have uh i have daddy issues uh i can fully admit that and uh my

wife always laughs uh any anything even like the stupidest moment of like a father something with their dad like they either their dad doesn't good or bad i'm just i'm a wreck and my wife always looks at me she's like you should probably talk to your therapist about that i was like i should still haven't you know well i have a lot up here to unpack i have so much to unpack right and some days you might not you know i feel like sometimes i go into therapy and i'm like looking for like a topic you know which is like a good problem to have but you have you have like you have a stockpile you have ammunition to bring up i say that and then i literally this is so funny i uh we we met we meet usually on tuesdays and i said i think we should start meeting every

other week now I think just weekly is too much there's there's kind of there's it when I started doing that it felt like I was graduating it was a kind of a nice I was like what do you say I do every other week and she was like I think that that's a good idea and it was truly it sustained me it sustains like my ego for like a good like six months I'm like yeah my therapist said I only need every other see mine responded are you sure oh no why don't we try it now and we'll see how it goes and then we'll we'll you know we can always change it back if we need to or we'll we'll reconvene i was like okay i feel good but it depends on the week right that's the thing some weeks you don't have much to talk about another

week you wish they would therapy three times a week that's what was last week i was like i don't know i guess we could talk about some some stuff yeah okay well should we should we like dive in we were talking before thank you thank you so much for doing this with me by the way i know how busy you are we were just talking about how you have vidcon this week for the third time and then my third time we decided to hit record and then we were like let's talk about this on the podcast so yeah are you my first time going was i thought i was more famous than i was i was like i have 100 000 followers i am an internet celebrity and i went there and it was a very good ego check of understanding that i am nobody i mean has it been interesting though as

the years have gone on to watch yourself kind of like get more and more i guess like notoriety by the way congratulations on 500 000 on instagram i saw that you hit 500k so you're like you're not like small fry so have you noticed it it's not i'm still small that's the weird thing i think about it is the bigger you get you realize there's always so many more people that are much bigger than you so i've moved into like this because i like total i have like almost two million followers like between all my platforms yeah it's a lot and that's that's ridiculous all right i can say objectively that's absurd that's a lot of people but then you go to something like big con and i get invited to like now now that's what that is giving me access to are the cool parties

right the uh the behind the scene things oh do they do like tears they do tears of creators interesting yeah there's a whole special uh hotel about a mile away from the conference or from big con that uh has these lounges that are put up by instagram youtube and tiktok and some other things and you can only get access to it if you have certain badges that you get for being parts of like different communities uh and things yeah so you go but but and so it's cool you feel like oh okay i've made it and last year was my first year where i got to go there and then you walk in you're like i am nobody right yeah yep i know i know you really could put you down absolutely bonkers when you think about your numbers like it really is if you think about

i've been thinking about this a lot like you think about seeing a hundred people in a room and it's like that's a lot of people but then like right you have two million followers across all platforms and it's like oh yeah i was like you know i was like a nobody that's that is a bonkers thing to to try to like justify for what it's worth you're not a nobody to me i am so honored to be your friend i i mean outside of you just being a fantastic person since we're talking about numbers whenever anybody talks about your videos to me like oh yeah do you know who the speech prof is do you know who chesco is i'm like a couple times he's actually like a he's actually like a friend of mine so it's wild to me that like you know you can have that kind of like

household name and still be considered like small on the internet it's just that the yeah I think my issue is also I have a an older audience and by older I mean you know over 25 it tends to be yeah like the all these old people in their late 20s and 30s right but because it's not like primarily Gen Z focused that that's really where you you it's weird like all of these places completely cater to people that have these audiences that are in below 25 and if you don't hit that that niche that market they don't really care even though who's spending money is it the 16 year olds watching yeah that's so it's so true it's so true yeah it's interesting how these different audiences have different sway i would expect though that you would cater to like that

surprises me that your audience is more actually this is a good for those listening that have not seen your videos can you yes explain what you do and who you are and how you got started that's a lot of prompts but I trust that there's a lot of things I'll give you I'll give the short I'll give the shorter answer uh to this but I started by accident uh because you know as as many of us did during you know COVID of uh finding some way to have some sort of human connection while stuck in our houses uh but I was I'm a I'm a professor and the speech prop is not just like a cool name for the internet I'm actually a a speech professor and I was a speech coach like speech and debate coach and I joined just to see how my students were consuming media I was like how can I be a

better teacher online. Let's see how they're making videos. And I was only making teacher videos, only teacher content for about a month. And then I got very bored and my ADHD kicked in and I just started talking about all sorts of stuff. Uh, and now, and things, my research background from, from, and as an academic is in feminist rhetoric and gender communication, uh, intersectional, uh, rhetoric. Uh, and so, so those are the things I studied and talked about in my research but i never thought why i was like why would i talk about that online that's boring to people but then i started critiquing all these uh kind of douchebag uh manosphere kind of dating coaches and all of a sudden i took off so people did care what i had to say yeah i mean you are

your takedowns are so like surgical like they're so you you your videos are in a way of like talking so calmly to these men in that it feels like you're really like parenting them you know which is i call it gentle parenting for misogynists that's kind of my uh that's perfect that's exactly what it is because like i see a lot of creators myself included like when we respond to these people it's like you're a fucking idiot like get it the fuck together and so seeing your approach of like and what you say is so inarguable like it feels very like no like let's sit down and have a conversation hey buddy let's let's have a little let's have a little chat and part of it like don't get me wrong there i want to scream at these guys sometimes too i just want to insult them but the

i kind of had because in the beginning i did make some of those videos where i was just like right can we cuss on here is that it is it i'm assuming yeah absolutely yeah what the fuck is your problem like you know just just where i'm like absolutely like how is this real like how is this something i'm seeing what the fuck is wrong with you and i'd make videos like that but then i would get content strikes as you're well aware yes right and so i in the beginning it was my way of like how can i confuse the ai algorithm into not giving kicking me off the internet and so i was like i'll tell a story and it's going to be a really just really really kind of it could be mean in some ways or but it really kind of dissect what they're saying through story and the edit ai has no idea

how to what to do with it and so it ends up turning into this little story i'm telling that has nothing to do with what they're talking about but in reality it does that is incredible i love that kind of like backroads approach we really do have to like hop around so many of these like content community guidelines that yeah they make publicly available but it doesn't really feel like it's helpful to read those so I'm glad that you figured out a way around it because I don't know have you ever been banned because I've been banned a few times yeah I've never officially been bad I've had uh I've had suspensions oh but I've never actually been kicked out where I could not post for like a week or one I think my biggest one was for a month and

that was when i finally like really went hard into the the metaphors of critiquing these guys all right i have to be very very careful they suspended you for a month that's i didn't know that they could do that yeah i feel like a lot of these dudes the issue with going after these communities is that they are like armies of dudes that like i mean i've seen some of these reddit forums that are just they like send their whole like legion after the creator that's speaking out against them and it's just the numbers are there and it it's not good for us have you ever dealt with anybody coming at you like for the videos that you've posted uh i mean in my comment section sure but not i've not i've been lucky enough to not have any i mean i've had threats you know

in the sense that they'll they'll say things but it feels much it feels very empty uh i've never actually felt scared yet at least um but i also think that has to do with me being a man uh making this content is that you i've noticed the difference between my comment sections versus women that make the exact same content where i mine will be they'll they'll they look to take me down by like insulting me like hey simp cook you white knight blah blah blah like that's the only reason oh has she fucked you yet bro i'm like my wife is that who you're talking about like they can't because they can't understand the idea that someone would speak out against this unless you're you're seeking some sort of a uh a reward also that that's the funniest to

connect with that real quick they they're like oh are you making let's say you get your views you get money do you know how much easier it would be if i was solely looking to get money and views if i was on their side how much easier it'd be if i just went online to be and just was just like oh women are the worst and did the exact same thing i would have legions of guys that are following it it's so much more work to and less payoff to do what we do online but here we are why is that like i we've me and we call him frank on the podcast my boyfriend frank we have talked about this a lot he's like you know if i decided that i wanted to be like a conservative grifter which he's very much so neither of those things but he's like we could

like be however very wealthy and it's it's true it's that's where the money is and i don't know if their audiences are completely aware of that this is actually a phenomenal segue into a game that i invented to play with you i'm very excited and terrified we have done this on the podcast in the past but i i kind of i judged it up because okay so i'll give you the background I don't watch The Office I know you do which is why I had to change the game a little bit you'll see but I realized just because like everybody knows who Dwight Schrute is everybody's seen a Dwight Schrute clip and I was realizing a lot of what Dwight says sounds a lot like things that Andrew Tate says and it's so true and so I said this to Liz and she's like oh my god I

have to i have to put together this game so she started she grabbed some dwight quotes and some andrew tate quotes and i had to guess who said what and i got like 90 of them wrong so i put together my own version of the game that i've titled okay dwight dipshit or droid where you have to tell me if it's dwight one of these alpha male podcast bros or if i had chat gpt write the quote so oh this is this is tough okay i'm also i even though i've watched the office a million times my wife it's like her favorite show uh i am i have horrific memory uh this thing so i this will be great i don't think that's fantastic right okay good because i tried to do it's really tough doing like deep like deep cut quotes for a show you don't watch

so i don't actually know if any of these are like deep like deep cut dwight quotes but we'll give it go okay are you ready do you have any questions i'm ready no i think i got it okay all right it's it's dwight dipshit or droid yes right yep okay okay okay um all right the first one is i am three wolves and most people don't even know how to howl i feel like that's dwight is it dwight no it's it's dipshit damn it they they all talk i told you i'm not yeah no that's that absolutely sounds like a dwight moment though like my wife's gonna be so mad at me because she has the basically every episode memorized she's gonna listen to this and be like how could you ever say that well you know it's i i've never watched so she can be mad more mad at me for not for not ever

like dipping my toe into the office pool okay permission never take everything oh god permission never take everything is it I want to say that sounds like a douchebag dude but but that sounds like okay I'm going to say

I'm going Dwight I'm sticking with Dwight you're sticking with Dwight that was chat GPT damn it I'm going to get one of these right how many chances do I have you know we're going to go okay we're going to go like

best six out of ten okay so what are we at now I will never apologize because I don't make mistakes it has to be Dwight dipshit

damn it I know isn't this crazy it really they all talk are any of these Dwight is this all there are some Dwights nope there are some Dwights in here okay okay man apparently i don't watch the office i lied to you this is what i mean though they're all they all talk exactly the same it's you know it's okay

okay it's not you it's them is what i'm saying okay okay i appreciate that yeah yeah of course um nothing stresses me out except having to seek the approval of my inferiors the problem is i can see dwight saying every single one of this i i have to stick with dwight now i have to go with it till i go in right you got it you got it i did it all right we are one in one in three all right oh man okay i'm gonna try i'm gonna guess something other than dwight unless i'm positive it's dwight now this is that's i had you know at this point I was like at this you know I had to keep going Dwight until I got it right now we're free I broke free from that we're on the board actually guess right okay um

I walk around every day with no idea what it's like to fear another man dip shit or whatever was that second one dip shit yeah well yeah all right well done it is you know what i wish that i did when i was finding these is actually watch the context for like why these things were said but i was already i was so concerned about what this was doing to my like ad information that i was like looking up like alpha male podcast quotes there are so many disgusting things that these men say yeah okay i uh i've had to uh i've accepted that i just don't watch anything on youtube anymore because that's where i look up a lot of these and so my algorithm thinks that i am one of them on youtube it's my own fault i've interacted with

it i watched it i looked up clips and that's what i'm i'm looking for to critique and now youtube is certain that all i want to see is jordan peterson ben shapiro and all their little andrew tate wannabes that's helpful though because now you don't have to seek it out yourself but that is it is terrifying do you ever like feel this seeping into i know that you have very like set beliefs and and um you know like you you're not anywhere near how these people think about things do you ever feel yourself like feeling down after making some of these videos yeah i think the the hardest part is seeing how the comment sections of of them and just how aggressively in agreement so many guys are let's be honest 99 guys there are women that will uh

you know the pearls of the world that will uh say these things but but almost entirely men in their comment sections just angrily and aggressively just just yes this is finally someone says it as if it's not the exact same line that's that's the hard part now is uh hearing the same video over and over and over again by so many different people and still feeling like i should respond because they're all just saying the same thing it's just a slightly different version of it yes that's so it is very um echo chambery in the worst kind of way do you i actually you mentioned pearl what what do you what is going on with her what do you think is her whole shtick because i know that there's a school of belief that she's just what we were

talking about just like making money off of this and doesn't actually believe it but what what's your what's your pearl hypothesis i mean from uh we talked about that on on my podcast uh a little bit once before about how because she used to be with uh the angry reacts guy uh right and and people said she wasn't like this before until she kind of figured out the grip i think she's absolutely just making i mean it's at a certain point i think when you create this much content you do start to internalize uh aspects of it so i don't think she's the same person she probably was pre becoming the pearl that we all know but i think it's absolutely a grift i think a huge part of it is just like this is how i'm gonna get famous and i'm gonna make my money and she's made

a lot of money doing it so it that's what's so painful about it it's it's i think that this will keep becoming more and more of an issue because it is so lucrative and it's going to just start eating the whole internet it's very it's it's pretty sad to watch not pretty sad it's very sad to watch the thing about it though i would say is it's not new and i think everyone likes to think especially and especially if you i'm old i'm 42 or quote unquote old uh right but this these things have been around since i was dating since i was a teenager like i heard these things too i heard this advice these guys were giving out it's not new it's just repackaged in a new way yeah obviously tinder didn't exist back then but as far as like dating strategies and about what all women want

and all these things i heard that same bullshit back when i was you know in in the in the late 90s and early 2000s that's not a new thing um i think the thing that's changing in a sad way is that it's becoming so pervasive among like teenage boys um because a lot i have a lot of teachers friends that talk about how they hear it constantly and how they look up to these guys as genuine like internet role models and that's terrifying it's so it's absolutely terrifying and when i was going through this process of getting these quotes i started looking into andrew tate quotes specifically and a lot of the quotes that i was reading that he says are very when taken out of context if you just get like a little sound bite it's like okay that's a good point which is

like right right you know really fucked up because when you look at the whole quote it's like you know like fuck women and like they're so stupid um like they don't they can't do what we do but then the little soundbite is like but like let's let women like you know be equal to men and then the rest of the quote is like and see what happens and see how everything falls apart yeah but that's how they argue these things it's like whenever i speak out against andrew tate it's like you don't understand him like read like read the quotes and it's these little sound bites are what's like allowing his followers to like argue that he's actually correct which is scary because it's like they're not hearing all of it it's like they're but that it's still like penetrating their brain

thing is yeah the thing is they are hearing all of it but they're pretending like they're only hearing the other aspect like they're like oh well he says you know you should you should stay healthy and exercise yeah that's that's great you should do that that is a good that is good advice yes it's just also like you said the full context of it was so that you can get a high value woman who will obey you and blah blah blah blah like it's that there's there's so much more to it you can't just say well i i disagree with a lot of what he says but he makes some good points no no you can't just take a sentence out of context and pretend like that's the point he made yes the point was the stuff that you don't agree with absolutely 100 yes that's a very good point

which brings me well thank you back into the games all right all right game face on okay game face on all right we have two two out of two two and three now so you've gotten two correct and three incorrect okay uh alpha time now walk in claim space confidence beast mode ask no way just grab droid yep well done damn i'm coming back in the game you are you are i know now you're three and three that when i saw chat gbt come back with that i was like oh i think it would be fascinating i couldn't do it uh but to create a grift account of uh of just like using chat gbt literally just let chat gpt create all your videos for you and you just say them you can wear a mask there's these dudes that will like be in shadows or have these weird things on and then after you get a

big enough following then just all of a sudden shift it to so that they're actually hearing good messages and see what happens that would be interesting yeah i'm into that you should you should do that no i couldn't no yeah with all the time you have to yeah like maybe what's another what's another time with three children right right and like a million jobs it turns out yeah no i i think that's a great that would be really that would be very interesting though it is scary to me that there are those accounts that people have sit in the shadows like why yeah is it it must be because they have day jobs that they're concerned about losing which i mean that should be your indication that you're probably talking about some shit that's like

not kosher no what would be interesting if they if someone did that though and then they started making like legitimate money it would be an interesting ethical test to see if would they actually stop if you're making a significant chunk of change that's yeah wow and then that would be like a like a psychology study within a psychology study of like how far are you willing to go for a paycheck it'd be interesting if you're listening and you have some extra time feel free to take that idea no don't do it I think the theoretical

the theoretical benefit of it will almost certainly never happen and it will only the second the guys hear it they'll get angry and just that's true but then you think about what if Andrew Tate were to just like flip on a dime and like just kind of

become like a like a body positivity like loving women kind of dude I wonder the matrix got him dude he got he got sucked into the matrix he's not blah blah blah i don't even know what that means i just know that's what they say me neither what does that mean i don't know i honestly i don't know if they even know i feel like they just parrot what one another says it's gross okay yeah all right all right we're three and three we're three and three

i have four more so this is actually perfect okay this is big this is big this is a big moment desire is the source of all suffering desire is the source of all suffering i'm gonna say shroot dipshit damn it you know all right okay that is amazing did did they just watch the office and think you know do i make some good points they must have yeah i know yeah he's the original the original alpha male creator because when i think of alpha males i do think of people that look like dwight sure yeah that's true that's true you know that is that is the picture the picture of men's health my feelings regenerate twice a normal man's speed i know dwight can control his body temperature

i'm willing he can will himself to not have a fever uh so i'm gonna i'm gonna but i don't think he said that though i'm gonna say let's go droid that was dwight you should have gone with your gut damn it i know i know i got thin to send dwight early on now i'm afraid to all right okay three and four we only have one more oh no okay i gotta end at 500 i know i know okay i know okay okay whenever i'm about to do something i think would an idiot do that and if they would i do not do that thing dwight yep yes all right you know if we actually did have 10 i think you would have gotten five out of five there so okay or five five and five so that works for me we're gonna yeah well done i you know i'm a little relieved when i texted so for those

listening i texted chesco and i was like are you familiar with dwight shrewd he was like i've watched the office three times through i'm like oh no oh no i gotta think of something else no see my what helps with being neurodivergent in at least the way that mine presents is that i can watch the reason i can re-watch series and reread books and things like that is because my brain just tucks away most of it as little surprises for me and so i'm like this is did they add a new chapter to this isn't that so interesting are you like very good at trivia no oh no no my like i my brain is broken in many ways heard understood i don't know i know lots of things it's recalling it when i'm supposed to that's the issue okay yeah like in that in that moment if i even the

trivia questions i should know the answer i'm supposed to go on a trivia podcast uh and i am terrified is it is it wise crack and blonde yeah i love her me and liz were on that show too so i'm excited and terrified because i'm not going to get anything right yeah you might surprise yourself you know it is my my adhd presents itself in i i know so many things that do not matter which makes me like the best trivia companion i actually think i'm saying that but i like failed so miserably on wisecracking blonde i was it was it was a sad sad showing yeah but it is interesting to like you know i i have so much useless knowledge up here and i didn't realize that that was like a i mean there are so many traits that are neurodivergent as people are are speaking

about it but i feel like understanding these little quirks about myself helped me understand like once i got the diagnosis of adhd helped me respect myself like a little bit differently did you did you have that same experience absolutely i think you go through this sense of like i think learning especially as you dive into researching it of learning that a lot of things you were told or bad traits or like reasons why you're a bad person or why you're you know a character flaw is actually part of your disability and it's like hey fuck you all for being mean to me for that thing i'm actually uh currently seeking uh evaluation for autism as well right now yeah because two of my kids have it and it's genetic and uh there's a lot that i'm learning about

myself as i research uh how to be a better parent for them i saw you talking about this on on one of your videos is is that anything this hasn't been on your radar until recently or have has have you always kind of felt like no not at all like I I think a lot of what I a lot of my own understanding of autism I'm finding was completely off base with what the spectrum of autism actually is you know I think you there's a lot of ableism in the how it's represented in media and everything And and I think I just only saw it as this one very specific type of thing that isn't as invisible as it is and that I just have anxiety. I'm just an introvert. Yes. Right. I'm not one of them. And it's not even you don't verbally ever say like, well, I'm not I'm not one of them. There's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with them either. Right.

But it's the this this way of writing off everything you've ever struggled with once again as just being a you thing and just just kind of being your own thing that you have to deal with without understanding, oh, there could have been help that could have made my life a lot easier in a lot of ways. and some 100 absolutely it does it feels very isolating when there isn't a whole lot of people at least like when i was in middle school and high school like not a lot of people were talking about autism and adhd as they are now and when this first started coming up on the internet it was there was a piece of me that was concerned that people were over self-diagnosing um and there is an aspect of that i've been seeing like a lot of memes being like oh my god like i do math this way like that means that i have adhd and it's like no that's not that just means that that's how you learned how to do math like what do you mean right but then there's also the side of it that's so

like eye-opening and helpful for people to understand that a lot of these traits that they have that like you're saying have been written off as like being like a character flaw is actually a result of something like autism or adhd there are so many other pieces of it and i think having this available online and having people like you that feel comfortable talking about it is what is really changing the tides for a lot of people so yeah and i made a video just yesterday about you probably haven't even seen it yet but it's uh like because everyone always says why are there so many neurodivergent creators right why are there why are there so many people it's like first off if you're only seeing neurodivergent creators that you might want to

look into that about why that is but there is i think there is an over representation of adhd and autism online because it it's like the perfect hyper focus uh for us to do like it's the way that our brains are wired right and like because i'm not diagnosed autistic yet but like even just as someone who is diagnosed adhd the like i can think of stuff constantly my brain is constantly thinking of ideas right i never have nothing to say i never my voice is just there's something going on up here every second of every single day and the idea of putting that those words in the sounds but also neurodivergent people are interesting right the reason but i was so go back to the therapy i mentioned to my therapist how i always feel like i am uh whenever someone

likes me i always feel like i trick them i'm like ha gotcha you know that whole like like oh man you don't actually like me i just i was i did a really good job fooling you uh and into thinking i'm someone i'm not and she said well what about online you have all these followers do you think that is that not you i was like no no that's absolutely me online but there's a difference between and this is probably me doing the exact same thing i just said but i feel like there's a difference between people liking you online versus people liking you in real life right and online they get they love quirky people oh look at that little weird thing they're doing oh that's so fun that's so interesting it's like tv characters right that they like oh i love that

but then when you meet them in real life and you real and there's there's like this weird judgment that goes on where they're not allowed to like you as a person face to face and that's kind of what a lot of us go through when we're younger but then all of a sudden now as adults when there's less uh less pressure and societal pressure especially online to act a certain way and to like demonstrate that you're uh reacting to things in the way that you're supposed to react to them all of a sudden they're like oh that person actually was interesting that story was great yeah yes that's i that's interesting that you say that do you feel do people come up and recognize you in in public does that happen yes and no uh most of the time people don't realize that they

already know who i am until much later oh what do you mean i this is what it was that i i don't know what it is i think it has to do with the fact that i'm like i talk reagan my podcast because it makes fun of me because i bring this up a lot but i'm i'm six foot five right and so in real life i'm a giant and i think seeing me on a little screen is very different than seeing me in real life and it's there's this disconnect where there's been literally almost a dozen times now where it's come up with another parent or it came up this recently when i was getting my nails done uh and i mentioned it and they're like oh do you do are you on blah blah blah and i was i mentioned it and I sat there like what's your name and I said oh I'm the speech prof and she

looked up and she was like I follow you it's happening all the time nobody I barely get approached uh from people for some reason there's this weird disconnect with how I look on in person versus online that you know I do honestly I think that the height must contribute to I would have I wouldn't have guessed that you were six foot five you're tall you're very tall so I would imagine beast. Yeah. I mean, good for, good for you. It's like, that is very hard. Yes. Yes. Congrats on that. Speaking of your podcast, tell us about your podcast. Sure. Well, we're Mr. Pick me in the man hater, uh, which is, it was a hate comment we got, uh, from, so I had her, I had, you mentioned you came on my podcast, which I hope this isn't foreboding. You were the first

and the last guest i ever had on my podcast so uh it's a it's a brag a point of bragging for me still to this day and so you clearly destroyed my podcast yeah i made it and i destroyed it but i had reagan on yeah i had reagan on my podcast early on we we connected online uh on tiktok and uh i was like hey you're funny why don't you come on we'll and we'll chat and uh we just clicked so like the the first time we talked we did both of our her podcast her old i guess she two podcasts now um but her other podcast and my podcast we did them back to back and by the time we got to the recording for mine we were both like red in the face sweating from laughing so hard and this is the first time we'd ever interacted with each other we're like this is that's weird right

like we're we have this just really immediately clicked our personalities and then i went on to her podcast again and we joked we're like wow you're her ratings kept going up every time i was on there because we just had such good conversations and she was just we were like we should do our own we're like yeah that'll be fun right but you know we already have we each have our own we can't just change it and then i was on her podcast again and afterwards we're like we we should do our own pod are we doing our own podcast and i was like i'll just get rid of my because my old podcast was not doing well what really yeah it just it kind of flatlined it just was kind of uh part of it was me being really inconsistent uh with getting episodes out and

just you know i'm i'm doing all this other stuff and editing and getting everything done um and it was just kind of like i had my group of followers that were listening to me but it wasn't growing at all um because it was it was a dare i was trying to do more of a comedy podcast than a than what i do online and is it like whereas now it's like I still do comedy online but it's comedy infused with social commentary versus yeah my old one was just kind of us being silly on uh on there and we did talk about stuff but it was it was much more of a focus on the on the silliness um which was fun it was a nice little release but anyways and then so we decided to do it and then we took off and uh now we're doing better than ever and it's become like a really big focus that's it's amazing

congratulations on the success that you've had on it it's been i mean you like right out of the gate y'all have been absolutely killing it which has i'm sure it's been super exciting for you to watch yeah completely well especially considering like how badly i don't say badly not goodly my old podcast did yeah i mean in comparison yeah it was it was a very different experience seeing it actually like the numbers going up and up and still going up every single month um as opposed to like just kind of flatlining i was like oh people actually do like it so the the key factor was less of me i do not think that that is the truth chesco i'm not even i'm not gonna entertain that but that is that's really it's cool to meet someone and just instantly click with them like

that it's like you almost have to i don't want to get like hippie woo woo but it does i feel like sometimes you like intersect with people in life and it's just it's like oh we were supposed to meet for this thing like let's just say yes to it and see what happens and it's clearly paid off for you guys to listen to that intuition and also to for her to see the numbers on her podcast i'm sure it was helpful too but still in general that's been the beauty of uh the the best part of social media as a creator i think has been you know meeting you meeting reagan meeting all these other people that i literally never would have interacted with you know what where it where i am in my life versus where you are in your life and i don't mean this in a bad way just in that's just

life how it works out that way yeah how would we have ever become friends yeah literally there would be zero almost zero chance of us interacting we live in different parts of the country you know we're you know different life stages different all these different things that there'd be almost no chance yet here we are right and so that that's been a really cool aspect of it that um i think is understated is this been the the ability to find people because i'm really bad at peopling in real life uh i have no like local friends like all of my friends are far away that's surprising i i think i don't know and this this is where the uh the autism uh also might come in is i'm very bad at understanding when people uh like me uh if there's an actual if it's a

genuine like i need i need people to be explicit about it and as grown-ups who does that totally totally i mean that's what you were saying at the beginning with your therapist like you feel like you're tricking people into liking you that's that's interesting you don't feel like that online though like when you make friends online i know i do but but if you're still watching my videos and commenting and liking stuff i guess it's maybe that's like the little like token of hey i still like you i didn't unfollow you right it's like it's like a constant little reminder of and also if we talk like i don't how do i know if i have a a conversation with this random dad about you know feminist theory how do i know that's going to go over well you know versus i can look at

your page and be like okay she'll she's cool with this uh like you're gonna pick up what i'm putting in like we we it's much easier to have it's it's like tiktok's like tinder for friends right where you get to just kind of i get to look and see all the your who you are as a person at least for your parasocially and be like okay this will be worth exploring versus online you don't in real life you don't have that you don't have that that's so true it's also a very interesting experience when you like make an internet friend and then you see your other internet friends are friends with that person and it's like oh do we have like a little like gang like are we like and it turns it's this cool this cool community i do feel like what you and i talk about online is very specific

like yeah so we we do like tend to like take in the same type of person but it is nice to be able to kind of see that community start forming you you mentioned if we don't all hang out yeah you did mention like how the at the internet you can make everything seem like a lot smaller uh and it is there really aren't a lot of us like there's a small community of us that talk about this and we all basically know each other right yeah it is really fascinating like i'm talking and when we say small i mean like of the millions of accounts there's like a couple dozen of us really that they really are focused on this at least that are at the level of uh followers that we have yeah right and it's nice to also know that like these people that you're becoming friends

with have similar ways of thinking as you do and it's i mean i say this coming off of having just said that there's like these grifters that are like taking advantage of their audience it does feel like what we talk about is a lot a lot less of like a like manipulation tactic because this is kind of an unpopular opinion what we talk about which it shouldn't be it's it's just wild that not everybody agrees with us yeah but it does still feel like you know like there's we can really trust the people that we keep around us because there's been a few heartbreaks that have come up in recent years i'm not going to say any names but there's been a few people that were like yes one of us and then they do something terrible and you're like oh no yeah i've had i've had

some experiences with um trying to use tiktok as like a dating app and have found out the hard way that that's the exact case that some of these people just are not as down with the cause almost always and this is there and this i'm gonna paint with a broad brush here it's not everybody but it's almost always been single men that are talking about these issues uh it's it's there there have been a couple cases of women there have been a couple cases of of other uh you know guys that like there aren't but it's almost always guys that are very clearly using this as a way to kind of uh get get other things then uh yeah it's so it's so so disappointing it really is and it's you hope that you're able to sniff that out but some of these

people are just really good at you know talking out of their ass but i mean and i hate that because it's that's the i get that comment all the time from like the guys that hate what i'm talking about like oh nothing nothing more dangerous than a feminist man you know it's a predator you're a predator if you could possibly blah blah blah uh and and then when it does happen you're like well all right that sucks because it does happen quite a few not but then they ignore the fact that the you know who is almost consistently are the people that are making the opposite content we're critiquing they are they are loudly explaining that they are terrible people it is it is still a small percent yeah it's it is still it just hurts more because of

the fact that you're like oh I like you yeah yes absolutely yeah I think what the part of the what I've told people and I've made a video about this even a while back where I was like just don't don't even don't trust I was like I know you like me but they don't give me any benefits don't trust me don't like not that not that i'm worried about it i have a very boring life i don't there's nothing i'm going to be doing at any point in the foreseeable future that's going to get me canceled uh until i get rich and famous and it goes to my head um but uh the the uh but still like i think that's the you shouldn't just be giving people all these kudos and all these goodies and all this the access to your your secrets and everything just because they are presenting as a good person

online because you don't know there have been people that are like a couple like i said i think we're being very ambiguous right now so people are going to be like who are the people but there have been a couple that were really big names that i would have trusted you know beyond what i should have trusted that end up being terrible and it's it's at the point where i'm it's just like if you're only doing this for the kudos for the for the attaboys for the you know good jobs then you're you're probably someone that i'm gonna have my eye on as as being a little suspect absolutely yeah it's this whole i feel like when you're not i feel like i know when you're meeting people in real life you only get that like aspect of them that they show you and and there's

something about TikTok that I think was what helped it become so big during the pandemic too that it like you get a window into people's life and you feel like you know everything about them and you feel like you know exactly how they are and their mannerisms and how they think about things you get to see their house behind them and it just it leads people to be more trusting of them than they should be which is heartbreaking because people have really taken advantage yeah there there was a uh in i mentioned before i don't know i didn't mention on this show to your followers i used to be like a slam poet like used to do touring like slam poetry and stuff and there was a lot of controversy in slam where there were a couple big names that would write

these poems uh as if this was their lived experience and in in slam it was as assumed that what you were telling if you were telling a story about something that it was true that it was and obviously in creative writing that's not the case there are creative writers all the time that write about things that have nothing to do but in slams in particular it was just the assumption was if you are performing a story about your life about something you've done that it's a true story and like there was one famous one about a guy that would was teaching slam poetry at a school for deaf kids and he had this whole thing about teaching them signing slam poetry and it was just he That never happened.

And so that was a big controversy in the community. It was like, oh, wow, you're then all of a sudden now you're tokenizing this community to to get to get points, right, to win competitions. And so that it's a very similar overlap in the sense that it does feel like if you are not, we assume that what you're saying online is 100 percent true with no basis for it. I have no proof, but because it's so personal, because so many of us just picked up our phones and are recording, you know, in the way that we do, we probably shouldn't believe people as much as we do, but it's what it is. I should let you go in a sec here, but I wanted to give you the opportunity to roll out the red carpet. What are you working on?

What are you want to plug your socials? sure i mean the number one big project right now is the podcast so if you enjoyed our little chats right here you can actually see amelia i never took down my old episode so you can see the two episodes with amelia from my old version of my podcast they're still up there um but look up mr pick me and the man hater that was a hate comment that we got and uh we just loved it so much that uh that we do we we went with it for our show title and you can find me on all the fantastic yeah it was but we we were like should we do that is that gonna hurt us so we want to get sponsored we're like whatever it's fun um and then so good i have uh i'm i'm a version of the speech prof on

every platform uh they i didn't my name's not the same on any of them because they were taken so just look for just find my podcast look for mr pygmy and the man hater on on a podcast and there'll be links to my stuff on there amazing i'm also writing a book okay that you really buried the lead on that in the last minute yeah that's huge i that do you want to talk about it there's not much to say but it's just forthcoming possible maybe book that i'm working on that is a big deal well i i'm excited to have you keep me in the loop on that i will so that's maybe possibly likely happening that's huge that's amazing i love that i would love to talk to you more about that as you're working on it absolutely well thank you so much for taking

the time chesco i'm i know how how busy you are so i really really appreciate it and have so much fun at vidcon i will i i'm gonna need a large break from peopling for a little while after it but i'm gonna have three days of interactions god that that unwind is gonna feel so good it's gonna be great it's the best okay well we will talk soon thank you bye Oh, yeah.