The Hoely Hour - E193 Horny Fairy Ghost

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

Welcome back to another episode of two ladies talking about whatever they want and sometimes sex and dating. The Year Of The Girl is in full swing and the weirdos are mad. Might as well face it, you're addicted to rebound relationships! I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this, but you need to break the rebound cycle. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

you could not waterboard that out of me no and i have a sex podcast welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour Check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com. It's been a while since we've done this. I know.

I just don't know what to do with my hands. I'm wearing a sports bra. Well, luckily, it's an audio medium instead of a visual medium. That's true. But we are recording video. Will I do anything with any of it? We'll find out. Only time will tell.

Yeah, how are people going to see my sweatpants and baggy t-shirt? how are people going to see my sports bra and new jeans i mean the new jeans are pretty fucking important also that's a sports bra what it's super cute it looks like just a fun summer top it makes my tatas look really good they do look fantastic my boobs are boobing yeah amelia looks like a super model oh my god stop and i look like i've been working from home thank you so much because i was yeah i had to kind of get my makeup on just for you i wasn't you the makeup looks really good thank you I was having fun doing it but I was also confined to the bathroom oh yeah um I had what Amelia and uh Frank call a big poopy butt day but she knows it all too well yeah

well I was sick so yeah but anyways but now it's out of your system hopefully hopefully I'm hoping it's it's gone well and I'm drinking I'm currently drinking a ginger lime mule seltzer water i don't know why they call it a meal maybe because it's just ginger and lime yeah but it is very delicious i feel like ginger settles the tummy it does it's known to it has a reputation to have a reputation for that yeah so good i'm glad that it's working as expected i feel like i interrupted something you were saying oh my god look at that bird did you i don't actually know he came up to watch us dude frank has some like real beef with the crows right know yeah well i for one love crows hopefully he doesn't take it out i keep saying then they're

gonna shit on his car i'm like you have they're gonna tell their babies that you're a mean person that's a thing look it up oh i know i know you know but yeah i listen to somebody listening doesn't know i listen to a podcast about crows specifically so now i know everything oh my god is it a whole podcast or just an episode just an episode um it's it's i know i've probably mentioned this podcast before um it's called ologies oh yeah that was a long time ago you talked about ologies i haven't listened to an ology episode in a long time i should i should pick that back up i have been listening to um the a court of thorns and roses series is it an are you it's it's a regular book but i've been listening to the audiobook version love it i've

been listening to the dramatized version oh because i saw people on tiktok recommend that and i was like you know what i was gonna read these but reading takes time you know and i need to be multitasking no there aren't enough hours in the day exactly i would love to sit down and read but i i simply do not have the time to sit down and read right i have so many things i need to do um so i was like okay i'll listen to the dramatized audio version and there was like a clip from it of one of the voice actors and I was like oh I like that that sounds good and then I listened to the first one and I think I hate to say it but the actor who plays the main character Feyre her voice just annoys me don't like kind of and and also I feel like all of them need to have

an English accent and none of them do they all have an American accent and that just kind of takes away from like the magic of it all you know yeah I'm like oh damn this would be so much better if you guys have an English accent there are some American accents that are just gross like they're okay no hate to our Pennsylvania listeners Pennsylvania accents are heinous and I think everybody in Pennsylvania knows that I don't think I could even identify a Pennsylvania accent Liz they're so bad they're so bad and I lived in Pennsylvania for eight years if you don't no and like now hearing maybe that's why i don't like them because it's like everybody that bullied me had a pennsylvania accent but i was watching this commentary youtuber who was like really good

and right when i clocked that she had a pennsylvania accent i had to turn i'm like i can't listen to like long form videos with you talking like that oh no it's so it's such a mean voice um yeah so this one the actress her voice i i don't love her delivery on some of the lines i'm also like are they actually talking to each other are they recording these separately oh because i she's like the only one i don't like too i'm like were you friends with the person who's doing the production are you doing the production and that's why you cast yourself as the the main character maybe i just i don't know her voice annoys me and her delivery maybe it's just her delivery her delivery is like petulant whiny girl and i don't like that

it's the character does the character not call for that um i don't think that no i don't know you hate to i mean the main character is 19 which i also in my head i just replace anyone who is not an adult with like someone around my age yeah i'm like i can't imagine this yeah i was like i wonder what it'll be like when i'm older and i'm reading books and the main character is like 20 okay i think about that all the time like this is i've had this experience with like this new wave of women that are taking over music like chapel and like olivia rodrigo and sabrina Carpenter I'm like I am 10 years their senior and they're singing about things that I experienced I mean you're back in my day there's I feel about 90 years their senior sometime like you are so

young you have so much life ahead of you it's weird though my brother had the same experience with the NBA he was like you'll feel old once you realize that you're older than everybody except for like LeBron older than everyone in the NBA and it's true yeah it hurts my heart when we finally got a hockey team I looked up all the ages they're all younger when I see people talking about yeah just like tiktokers or whatever like famous tiktokers I'm like I've never even heard of this person yeah and they have like five million followers bananas and then you're like what do they do and then they're they just like post about wearing clothes or something yeah just something that I would never have any interest in yeah I'm like wow like five million people like

love that i love that for them something interesting though that i have seen on a few occasions is like you know when people say like give the give the social media intern a raise when like something goes viral i'm like no no no no the the person who made this viral thing is like in their 30s probably um because they're chronically online and they've worked in marketing long enough and I don't know I just having just being on the other side of it I'm like no a team of like five 28 year olds came up with this that's because people don't take social media as a career seriously so they assume that companies only have social media interns and that's it when in reality like the Wendy's Twitter for example is some of the best like branding ever for specifically the

most heinous place on the planet Twitter and people are always like oh my god this social media intern is really killing it and it's like this has to go through oh every tweet probably has to go through people that could be your like your mom and it depends on it depends on god like how particular the group of people you're working with is like if there's too many cooks in the kitchen when it comes to the social media production oh my fucking god like i've wanted to rip my hair out because it's like 10 people like voicing their opinion of like no well we should say this instead and I'm like you're overthinking it yeah you're overthinking it and you're also not online as much as I am and you only work in like go-to-market marketing which

is completely different than just social media yeah I'm preaching to no one here I don't know what everyone does for work but let me tell you working in social media marketing it has made me hate the internet which is kind of ironic but but you know what sometimes I really fucking love it yeah i mean that's that i love my i love my new job too that's good um and you know what maybe it's because it's b2b so i don't have to be like interacting with anyone on the internet yeah not really and i also it's just like a different vibe like it's certainly not as interesting as like working in uh business to consumer marketing where you can where you're like engaging with the public and like jumping on trends that make sense because if you're doing business to business

social media it's like a bunch of it's like just linkedin yeah type shit yeah i saw someone call like b2b marketing something happens in people's brains when it comes to b2b where they're like say hello to mr business like yeah hello would you like to do a business with me yeah and then it's i don't know it's really tacky when i worked in b2b i was like i could not care less about what i was promoting which was really uninspiring like we would be i think that is also the hard part you're like i don't even fucking know what this company does yeah i would be like peddling out like like enterprise software ebooks that would get like two downloads a day and then like we wanted to and you worked in paid so everyone would clap for everything you did yeah i know it was

like 500 a lead and it was like it was fucking ridiculous i saw someone like doing a bit like about different like areas of marketing and for paid they're like they only gave us a five million dollar budget what are we supposed to do with that exactly right yeah and then um the social it goes to social media and they're like i don't know they gave us seven dollars in a pizza so i was like yeah that is what dude it is like paid media budgets are bananas sometimes we'll get like in a million dollar budget and i'm like whoa and then they'll be like so yeah we have like a really small buy this time around i'm like a mil give it to me then oh yeah a lot of money and a lot of people um crying in the stairwell at work i've yet to cry at my current job so good well anyways

um i don't even know how we got here i don't either i did something very exciting last night this is also anal not nope nope it wasn't i was about to say it's completely unrelated to the podcast but i still want to tell you about it um frank got me a uh sewing machine for my birthday and it's just been sitting there because i'm like really nervous like about how to use it no let's learn together well so i learned i borrowed a sewing machine it's in the corner you can't see it it's behind the chair dude threading a sewing machine is hard like it took me like an hour and a half to thread it i mean and like it'll get easier the more and more that you do it but like holy shit but i learned last night and i'm feeling very good and very domestic

were you watching like a youtube tutorial yeah which is actually like i think it's so fucking cute this woman just like teaches beginners how to use a sewing machine she just like sits down and makes these like very detailed videos and i'm like that is the cutest human thing like action please send them to me i will but to spend your time teaching other people how to do a thing that you love is so fucking cute yeah i do love that like what the hell bless her heart you don't need to you could gatekeep this bitch like you know i would be worse off for it but i would get it you know what we should do we should go to goodwill and find some clothes that we could like update and like try out oh my god i love that idea cute or something i love that idea i bought

a bunch of like like starter fabric and i already fucked one up so i'm like i'm gonna go through these so fast so i'm gonna once i get like a little bit more confident i did like i learned to sew in high school and i don't remember it so i'm wondering if it'll come back to me you'll pick it up i was in a costume design class fun yeah i made my own jacket for one of the the plays that i was so cool yeah and i was like how the fuck is this gonna come together and it did and then um beautiful i i also love that my teacher was like you're gonna make your own costume for this play that's dope yeah she she was a very good teacher i love that you're probably gonna pick it up very fast then when you start doing it again yeah you will i'm hoping it's in my blood and i have um i

have sewing scissors tattooed on my arm so a lot of people are like oh do you sew and i'm like no it's from a cartoon i like well now you'll one person did notice i let him cut me in line at the grocery store and then he had like one thing um we got to the line at the same place at the or at the same time we kind of looked at each other i was like no go ahead you have like two things and then um uh he came up to me as he was walking out and he was like is that um a tattoo from over the garden wall and i was like yes it is he's the only person who's noticed really i love that it's from that i love that i and i was like you know what i bet he looked at me and like clocked my whole style and was like i bet the bitch watches over the garden wall no

and he was correct he was right speaking of cute grocery store encounters yesterday frank and i were at a grocery store and that he was making this Frank does this thing and he'll know what I'm about to say he's gonna be listening to this and he's already gonna know where this is going but he makes he embarrasses me so much at the grocery store on purpose like it's like a hobby for him and like like whenever I like pay for the groceries he's like thanks mommy I'll put on that little outfit you like when we get home and like nine times out of ten the cashier will laugh and i'm like oh my god he does shit like that um but he was making a joke yesterday while we were waiting in line about like opening up a karate dojo he's like what would you do if i just like

did a total pivot and just like opened up a dojo mr liz asked me shit like that all the time where he's like what would you do if i did this crazy thing i'm like do you want me to lean into this or do you want me to tell you what i would actually do right right yeah right because it really depends on the mood they're in but you know frank was in this mood where i don't think he really wanted a response he wanted just he just wanted to entertain yeah and it worked and the um guy at the checkout was like do you do karate when we got up there and he was like no i was just saying how that would be like such a pivot from what i do for work he's like let me guess you work in tech and frank was like yeah i do and they like started talking about like frank's

specific industry and we he told us the check stand guy told us about this website that he built which is foodtapper.com and it's this like game that he built to like help people like like learn how like I how I understand it is like learning how to like how the grocery industry works basically it's just like a little game and Frank and I were like in tears it was so cute he just like this man loves this thing that he does so much that he like built a whole game around it and that's adorable to learn and we're just like but frank and i have also been crying about everything cute but anyway i just thought that was cute should we talk about stuff that's like related to the podcast now yeah yeah um there's a few different things to to talk about i do want

to address that we did not do an episode last week oh yeah that was on purpose it's not we didn't just forget yeah we were going to uh we were gonna put reshare like our top streamed episode of 2023 but we ran into some technical difficulties and we both were just like okay you know what they'll understand yeah i was traveling too so i couldn't help out otherwise i would have been able to to troubleshoot that like you know and then we're like meh who cares they've heard it if you want to go back the most listened to episode was gonzo dick i mean it has such a catchy title it does um anyway continue a few things that are at the top of my mind as of today as of late um well first i wanted to tell you a story because mr liz was like are you gonna tell

this story to emilio and you guys are recording oh my god i love that uh in the middle of the night last night my vibrator started going off ghost vibrator yeah he was like well and i've been fucking listening to these fairy books so he was like horny fairy ghost i was like stop and then um that has to be the title of this podcast horny fairy ghost yes it has to be so it was like going off and it was like shaking around it scared the fuck out of me and i was like what is that and then I turned on my flashlight and then we saw my little bullet vibrator moving and he was like do you think like when the cat stepped on it or why do you think it went off and I was like why did it go off because I was half asleep I was just gonna be like that's

weird and go back to sleep yeah and then he was like it's a ghost and I was like no now I think it's a ghost but i did um uh it it had a little uh i was washing it and i would not be surprised if some water got into like the plug area so i was thinking like maybe it had some water exposure and it was just kind of like short circuiting that's so much more of a boring answer than like a horny ghost but i cannot handle the idea of a ghost being in my presence to be quite honest and then um and then i turned it off and then i just set it back down and then i was like do you really think it's a ghost and he's like no and then he was like it's probably what you said like it got wet in his short circuiting yeah and then it turned on like a few minutes later and i heard

it was like oh my god and then um i was like mr liz it turned on again and then he was like go put it in between like clothes or something so if it turns on we won't hear it also we have like the ac unit going so that's loud um so i like had to go put it in i haven't unpacked my suitcase yet so i just put it in between my clothes in the suitcase but that was scary i bet dude that's like how you have to used to have to handle like when your furby would just like start talking you just shove it in a closet between some clothes it's the only way to handle it this is the adult version of your furby talking to you and it's my favorite so if i have to replace it it's gonna cost me ten dollars ten dollars ten dollars well spent yeah honestly um and what was the other thing oh uh

2024 year of the girl you called it um kamala harris is now the democratic presidential presidential candidate i've never been happier about big fucking candidate i mean i was happy about obama but i wasn't really sentient at that because i was on vacation and uh one of the people we were with like announced it to everyone and we're like no fucking way and we all get our phones out and we're like this is wild yeah so that was pretty exciting um i was like i don't know at first i was like oh my god and then i was like no this is a good thing um it takes about one second to have that yeah realization you're like no i would prefer this and it's proven to be a good thing too so far yeah it's nice to have not an ancient person running yeah um but i did want

to talk about like some of the incredibly like fucked up conversations around her being the nominee yeah um like i've thought i mean especially like what uh trump's vp jd vance yeah first of all you're a grown-ass man running for vp and you're going by jd yeah somebody said jorkin da penis i saw that i laughed so hard jorkin da penis vance somebody said dance vans oh oh my goodness the cat just joined me this is exciting he was like yep i want to sit in that lap hi he's been very snuggly oh my goodness gracious um but i mean i think the most like known rhetoric is him calling childless women like miserable cat ladies and there are just a few thoughts that i had written down that i want to

talk about um i have so many thoughts so obviously he really hates a childless journalist who turned him down once i think that's probably like the main driver behind this i would really love to get into his dating history and nail down if that's an accurate assumption because he says the most like unhinged shit about the media and journalists yeah i'm like there has to be some sort of like personal grievance you have with a woman journalist also is that just like there he's really like flipped because he used to talk so much shit about trump like is this hating on the media thing new i think that he is three middle school boys in a trench coat yes absolutely his face looks like what's super interesting i saw someone do a breakdown of his like trump

makeover um he like how he looked before versus how he looks now they like made him grow a beard they started giving him more structured jackets and pants to make him look like a little more because he just kind of looked like a fucking man baby yeah and he acts like one but he still looks like one a very interesting makeover i'll have to see if i can find it and i'll send it to you but um yeah so for starters i think that he just really hates like a child-free journalist who turned him down or something or broke his little heart um second i i think that he thinks that he's advocating for women in like some twisted way by saying the only women with a stake in our country are women with children but he might as well just be like screaming the quiet

part out loud and saying he's he's just saying that the only value he sees in women are their ability to have kids yep um and do you think that women who are mothers only identify as mothers yeah he absolutely does think that like i don't i don't care if we agree politically but if you're if you identify as a woman like the only thing about you is not your ability to be a mother yeah like that's not your personality and I just want to know like why is he demanding women exchange their personhood for motherhood and um I think that's something that people forget like like when you become a mother you are expected to trade trade your personhood for motherhood and that is how you are collectively seen you're a mother that is your identity that's

who you are and that's not a fair representation of who women are like um i saw this girl she wrote a poem about like her mom and then she's like one of the lines was like i realized my mom is just a girl and i started bawling when i like heard that line because i was like my mom she is just a girl she was just a girl like she's just a girl figuring it out and that is a race to even children like because you see your mom as like that's your mom yeah you know right right i mean because that's how you've always known her as being a mom because she's always been your mom but also like the fact that people like jd vance put all of their value on women only if they're mothers is like i mean this goes without saying but like you're not a person to them until you're

a mom well and not even that you're just like a human incubator yeah well and why are the only two options of what a woman can be is a miserable cat lady or a mother why are those the only two things to you it's it's they view women as having too much power so if they're able to if they're if they're able to boil them down boil us down to these two very like archaic ways of thinking about how women are then like they think that they still have control over the narrative if you care so much about mothers and you think that's so important what are you doing to advocate for mothers are you demanding extended maternity leave are you making fertility treatment free because what if what if you run into problems with fertility and what if it's not even your

issue what if it's like your husband's problem what if what if he is the one who is unable to provide yeah working sperm or i don't know what you would call it yeah i mean you know taking steroids like enough and a lot of these like you know republican meathead fucks are probably never going to be able to have kids for that reason but and then moving along what about uh cis women who want to be mothers but aren't ready are you going to provide free resources for them to have their eggs frozen um are you subsidizing child care because currently most of the country can't afford to live on a single income and have a family yeah so moms are gonna have to work if they want to be able to survive so are you subsidizing child care

um and since cis women bleed because you know having a period as part of being of childbearing abilities um are you making pads and tampons free are you regulating anything that's going into pads and tampons that could affect someone's fertility yeah no no you're not doing any of this because you actually don't give a fuck about women no even if you are a mother it's also it's also um like expressed or shown or proven in this like the fact that with these new abortion laws that have popped up since roe versus wade has been overturned like if you have an ectopic pregnancy and you could die they're like tough shit guess you're gonna die like you they still won't let you get rid of that pregnancy they don't give a fuck about

they they view women as machines as baby makers above anything else and then once the baby is born like you're saying with what you just said they don't give they don't do anything to support those babies no especially babies that are born into poverty and i think them saying like having these like takes about mothers specifically they're they think that is somehow feminist like even republican women are appalled by this rhetoric they're like are you fucking kidding me like you think that no women have any sort of importance or value 50 of the country you think that they don't matter unless they have children and even then you're not even doing a damn thing to be supportive of women who do want to have children yeah i don't know it's i made it's it pisses me

off yeah i made a video saying this but like there are now people that support jd vance saying like pointing out the fact that kamala has not had children she has stepchildren and it's like i said this but like there has not been a single president that has had kids yeah why do you care now if a president has given birth because none of them have before it's weird like oh don't call them weird amelia they're gonna be so upset this is i'm not weird this is weirdo behavior like i fucked a couch i'm not weird you're weird yes oh my god the glove in the couch oh lord almighty it's you cannot waterboard that out of me no and i have a sex podcast yeah it's just weird they're just so fucking weird you they say weird shit they believe weird shit they're

fucking weirdos and i was talking to frank about this like and he said this he was like we we have to stop democrats need to stop playing nice and like taking care of everyone's feelings you know like and we gotta call a spade a spade here like if it walks like a tucking ducking quacks like a duck it's a fucking duck like these people are fucking weirdos you know and we need to we need to call things they care about are bizarre well and i i was reading a thread of like how reactive just calling them weird because they see themselves as normal yeah but so to to be told that you're not is so upsetting to them yeah and they're also the ones who are like fuck your feelings yeah fuck your feelings but not my feelings yeah my feelings my feelings are really

delicate i'm just a little baby like a little baby bird i'm just a little snowflake take care my feelings oh the botox thing that was also something i wanted to talk about yeah um amelia and i had a little botox date which she did mention last episode it was romantic and i was reading that like getting botox it had studies show it does make you happier not because like the chemical itself but because your face is unable to react like angrily or um i don't know if you're like me like when i'm super focused my eyebrows are wrinkled um and i can get kind of a tension headache there so being unable to express these like agitated emotions yeah it sends a message to your brain that you're not actually upset i love that or angry i love that

i do have to say though mr liz kept asking me he's like are you okay are you are you upset about random things and i'm like i'm fine what and then i was like oh you know what i can't be as expressive as i normally am so i think that's maybe why he's asking me that's interesting that's interesting that's because when i'm pissed my face is frozen oh yeah i mean most people most and it's when most people are angry they're not like yeah scowling their faces are yeah um almost devoid of emotion that's how most people look when they're really mad yeah so that's interesting aww so that's just a fun little tidbit i love that sick my topics have nothing to do with what we've talked about so far that's okay so we're about to

we're about to take a little detour um i was looking up talking tits as i do and i found an article about rebound relationships which you and i talk about a lot not necessarily on the podcast but just like the idea of somebody moving on quickly um and so i have some uh bullet points i had to send eliza's computer because i forgot my fucking computer always gotta forget always gotta forget one thing when i come here to record today was my computer so newsweek spoke to um a relationship and breakup expert which sounds like i've never heard the title breakup expert yeah should we call ourselves that yeah absolutely we're breakup professionals because we get paid for it um but anyway they talked to her about uh rebound relationships uh which she defines as

relationships beginning shortly after a breakup often before emotional healing has occurred leading to overlooked incompatibilities which we all knew but it's interesting to highlight that it's like you'll look past things that you normally wouldn't had you not have just gotten out of a relationship um the the reasons for these that she stated are they're driven by a need for validation after rejection or a fear of being alone sometimes related to codependency the indicators of this this are thinking about an ex feeling stuck or making concessions in the new relationship um and then how to break the cycle is the importance of taking time to be single understanding yourself not settling in future relationships and so i was reading this article

and i was it's a it's a long article it's long for me so i had chat gpt um break it down for me as we do so some of the interesting things from this article that i thought was worth talking about was the duration of rebound relationships because typically you would think at least i would think jumping into a rebound relationship is just kind of like a sex thing you know but how long do you think they typically last like what the rebound relationship it's a it's a a range that they provided oh okay i would say maybe like six to nine months interesting well it's nine months to two years to two years oh my god isn't that interesting that is a very fucking yeah I didn't expect that the reason that I first wanted to talk

about all of this is because I have a friend who recently got out of a relationship that was a rebound relationship that lasted like a year and she had come off of like an eight-year relationship and her most recent ex now has a new girlfriend and they're like so obsessed with each other she's like always posting him and like obviously my friend is like on her instagram like consuming all of this you know like torturing herself i mean that's why they're doing it oh totally but she's doing it from a burner but i'm like she knows that's not better yeah yeah um so my friend is now dating this guy who is like quite possibly the worst kind of person the rebound to the rebound yes he's the rebound's rebound three bound three bound nice nice um and she went

on vacation with her friend this past week and so okay so there's actually some tea because she is i was gonna try to make her sound like the good guy in this but she's kind of not so she had this trip planned with her sugar daddy to okay joshua tree for like months now she's dating this guy who is bonkers bananas which i think that anybody that's dating someone would feel a little uncomfortable with like somebody going on a vacation with another guy that's fair but she didn't feel comfortable telling him because this guy flies off the fucking rails about like small shit you know so she was like I can't tell him why I'm going to Joshua Tree so don't date him so she goes and tells him that she's gonna be there with one of her girlfriends

she lands in Joshua Tree and immediately he's like before before she left he was like totally fine with her going like oh my god have so much fun that's gonna be like such a great trip right when she gets there he's like send me a picture of you and her like prove to me that you're with her and she was like okay y'all do that okay yeah just give me like give me a little bit and we'll do it and he's like no do it right now she sent me this conversation and he was saying the most heinous shit to her and I'm gonna read it so he goes no you can do it right now you think I'm playing with you you know you can't take a picture with her right now and that's why you aren't that's fine two can play at this game way to throw everything away have a good night I know I will goodbye

and she said oh my god you're crazy we just got to the restaurant i wish you trusted me he said this is exactly why i would never trust you right here you haven't earned it this is why you're single and all the other guys cheated on you which is a an absolutely heinous fucking thing to say to someone oh yeah so my friend goes to a starbucks and just asks a random girl to take a selfie with her and sent him this selfie of her and this random girl which is so fucking funny yeah it's objectively funny this girl in this picture is like i was gonna say did she like find someone to take a picture with yeah she did and honestly like she was you know and she was like recounting this conversation to me she was like i really fucked up like i can't believe i'm

lying to him like this is so fucked and i'm like no because a normal person wouldn't even put you in that position in the first place and i mean i'm a little concerned that she's a sugar baby just for safety purposes but also based on the other things that you can't talk about on this podcast that you've told me this this man is horrible very dangerous he is not a good person he yeah dangerous is the perfect word um just the worst type of person you can imagine i i'm sure one day will be able to talk about it yeah but he's oh god like a very scary man yes and he looks like he like he looks like he is which is like you know you never want to like judge a book but this man looks like he's like he's gonna kill someone today yeah he has like kind of those eyes

um and so I wanted to use that kind of to bolster this like rebound relationship conversation because there is a like a consistent kind of vibe of when I see I know for me when I was like getting out of my relationship and again like all I was doing was it was like just like sexual relationships but it was with some scary people that like some that like we weren't we haven't even talked about on the podcast because we're like afraid of like what if they listen like what are they going to do and like the potential of like getting in too deep into a relationship like that because you just keep saying yes to these things that are like you know scary and unhealthy well and they're also they do that they put you in a position that they know will make you

uncomfortable but you would be forced to trust them because they want to see how far they can go exactly and i mean i also don't think that this is exclusive to men it's exclusive to manipulative people oh absolutely or manipulative i said that weird manipulative people yeah um and they'll do it in a way that's like so like they'll like keep kind of like taking little like inches and like inching further into your life and seeing how like lucky they can get with like whatever you give them until you they're so in control of everything that you're doing that you like you don't even notice that they're doing it until they have control over like everything you're doing but i mean as as i'm reading like how chat gpt summed up this article it's it's all pretty

obvious stuff but like it talks about the importance of breaking the cycle and taking time to yourself and understanding personal desires in a relationship because there's no way that you can figure that out if you're just hopping into the next thing oh breaking the cycle i think is the most important thing as you were talking about it i was like yeah we've all done that shit but it takes just the moment of like okay every time i do this i feel bad so i don't want to feel bad so what would it be like if i just stopped doing this it can be it's also so hard to have willpower in an environment and in a world where like we've basically been trained to fiend for dopamine yeah um at all occasions i mean that's why social media is so successful

is because it gives you these little dopamine hits of like oh people liked my stupid fucking tweet yeah or my impression of sex in the city characters yeah it plays on the same part of your brain as um slot machines do because you pull down your notifications and you wait for it to come up it's the it hits on the same part of your brain that's also why i turned off all my notifications for social media smart you know i like even working in it like i think that's also why i know so many why i know it can be so toxic yeah i mean everyone does but yeah in a different way yeah in a professional way yeah but it's it just having the willpower to every day you need to choose to not check on this person and see what they're up to yeah you need to choose to

not like search for the dopamine hit of like matching with someone and messaging them yeah it's just yeah you have to like fight against this like chemical need that your brain is telling you like you have to have or you're going to die like it's it's it gets easier it absolutely does but it is very hard to do to break the cycle of it it's fucking oh god and once you get into the habit of doing it yeah in the first place it's like well how am i supposed to not do this and then when you like doing this for three months straight now when you want to do it and you stop yourself from doing it you get like this like nauseous feeling it's like i have to do it i have to check i have to check but like realizing how much better you feel when you just don't know

like once i stopped like looking at what my ex was doing i never went back like i still don't i still haven't looked at his shit in like almost four years now oh and even when you're tempted i'm like i'll look and i'll let i'll let you know if i see anything i have no idea what dude's up to and like i'm worried that if i i'll look i look for amelia and i say the meanest things i can think about which makes me feel so much better talking shit goes a long way it does sometimes you just need another person to to talk shit um and neither of you are doing it maliciously it's just because that's what you need yeah you you want to be like I just need to feel like this person's a villain right now yeah because that's what's gonna make me feel better and I'm that'll

give me the push I need to be like okay I'm I'm over it actually right totally yeah just need to like kind of let some air out of the balloon and move on with your life exactly um something this article did list was common signs of like it being a rebound relationship which I think people think like a right out of a relationship but like if you're not fully healed yeah then that's probably also a rebound relationship so here are the common signs thinking about an ex-partner frequently feeling stuck on an ex making concessions or compromises that you wouldn't normally make and being with someone to fill time or avoid being alone that last one was a huge one for me when i was out of my relationship i was like if i sit alone with my thoughts for more than five minutes

I'm going to lose my mind. So I was just like going on a different date with someone different every night of the week. There was a few weeks where I had five dates lined up with five different people for like a straight month. And that was like not cute. Like it was what I needed at the time. But like I was going on dates with like some heinous, heinous dudes. And it was just in a bid to distract myself. So just like I think that there's no harm in that if you know what you're doing but like we're saying some people get too in deep with it well yeah the the pattern becomes bigger than just like checking their social media there the pattern becomes okay now I need to date another person immediately yeah like the pattern becomes like seeking an

actual relationship with someone yeah and like you said like and like the article said ignoring qualities that you wouldn't actually want in a partner yeah um just because they're a rebound at the end of the day like you're centering your ex in your own healing yeah which is like not a good thing to do like oh if like he's already moved on so like i like i need to move on and it's like that's not yeah it's not tip or tat and they're it also doesn't mean that they're actually happier yeah i think that's another thing with social media it's so easy to convince yourself like well maybe they're like really happy i don't know yeah and that's not true like just in general people are people aren't always happy yeah um i was gonna say

something else now i can't remember what it was the people outside were distracting me for a second what the fuck was that i don't know we hear some weird stuff over here sometimes i can understand that i can understand that on that corner over there yeah it's a lot of action sometimes i'll just poke my head out just to make sure things are okay yeah nobody needs help um do you do you want to try to remember what you were going to say i don't think it was important okay i think it was just a comment um should we see if we i checked okay we didn't yeah um well it's okay fine um well this will probably be a short one yeah i think this will be a solid solid 50 episode yeah yeah maybe like maybe around like 47 i think

that's like the best yeah okay a little 47 minute yeah i love those okay well cool thanks for listening we'll talk to you guys next week yeah we won't take another week off yeah promise yeah okay well we love you our children bring it home bring it home oh oh thank you so much i really felt that one from the tips of my toes to the top of my head see i love hyping people up no that was beautiful i love hyping you i felt hyped okay okay bye bye We'll see you next time.