The Hoely Hour - E194 Supple Knockers

Episode Date: August 9, 2024

This is an official PSA to authors to stop writing sex scenes like y’all do. We discuss Mercury messing with everyone’s lives, the “backroom casting couch”phenomenon, and that little green bish named jealousy. Men, did you know it’s okay to trust your gut? You heard it here first. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Smash that record button. Hit like and subscribe. Smash that co- I don't know how they say it anymore. Smash that subscribe button. That's how they're gonna say it now. Smash! Smash! Welcome to The Holy Hour, a podcast about sex, relationships, mental health, and everything in between. I'm Amelia Sanson. And I'm Liz Baugh. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at The Holy Hour. i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com um so is that what they say now um no that's just my impression of uh people from

the south the south but but not not southern folks more like uh western or western movie people oh yeah yeah yeah yeah um speaking of western movies i saw one recently which one i am drawing a blank is it blazing saddles no it's uh it has uh val kilmer in it oh uh i tweeted about it let me let me uh let me look have you ever seen blazing saddles i have not that is one of the best movies of all time i'm pretty sure this is the only western i've ever seen fairly confident i feel like i would remember if i've seen more westerns you know yeah i'm not a big period piece person uh tombstone tombstone oh this is what val kilmer looked like in it i know i was like yeah no this character is totally my type yeah no i would he's just like

fucking with people smash that val kilmer yep smash now he wears his little ascot probably to cover up uh well he has he had like a disease that uh destroyed his vocal cords oh shit was it from cigarettes i'm just gonna ask you questions you don't have the answer to i'm sorry when did he contract i just wanted to talk about how old is how old is he when he contracted it what's the social security number uh five two three oh man i have a half topic for you and we're gonna dive right in i love it already i'm just taking the reins here well i'm gonna talk about so hot i'm just gonna talk about two things that are on my mind right now one of the things that i texted you on the way here um for those of you who uh are not into astrology doesn't

matter this is for everyone i guess um mercury is about to be in retrograde it might already be in retrograde personally i think the retrograde shadow is worse you've said you've been saying and maybe it's just worse for me i always end up having like bad luck or like something ridiculous this happens and then i'm just like is mercury retrograding and then it'll be in the shadow period damn um yeah so mercury retrograde and then a new moon's happening tomorrow and my period is coming that is a whole lot of divine feminine happening all at once so is mercury a lady no mercury's definitely a man moody man um no but i'm pretty sure it is a masculine planet so i'm gonna cast some spells i'm gonna participate in some witchcraft i think yes

tomorrow either today or tomorrow because my i would not be surprised if i wake up and i have my period tomorrow well i'm on my period right now i know so we're we're we're synced like actually yeah i didn't know if you because oh don't you normally i don't actually get normally i don't know but i spotted and my ring my aura ring not it's like you're on your period yeah my ring was like yo you're like do bitch and like i and then i did and then i was and then i arrived i think that um all women should participate in um witchcraft whether or not you're bleeding anyone who bleeds especially if you're bleeding now i think it's time to pass or uh it's time to participate in casting a spell yeah it could be whatever you want you know yeah um i don't

believe in fucking with like dark magic type stuff no um but i do believe in returning to sender oh return some bad vibes to the sender hell yeah have those vibes back you don't need those shake it off transmute that into some positive energy i love that um or you know cast a spell jennifer kamala harris oh let's let's do that love that year of the girl um second thought uh you know how i'm like into this fairy series yeah so i'm just gonna be honest to those of you who maybe enjoy this series i don't think it's good and now i'm listening i'm listening because i'm like interested in the the action like the plot of it all and i think that a lot of people like it because it's been sold to me as like oh it's it's smutty and yeah there are sex scenes

but like maybe it's just because i'm in my luteal phase right now that i'm like essentially asexual but i get i'm like oh i don't want to even hear about this sex scene right now i fast forwarded through one of them wow i was like uh um that's saying something i don't like i think the plot in general is kind of interesting um i love a good mystery um but i also think that the writing isn't like necessarily like great um but it has improved since book one you are oh there's more than one book there's like six jesus christ i'm in book three right now oh my god i'm flying through these no kidding so i you we have entirely different for you pages entirely different like i have never once heard a single thing about this um but you were like you kept hearing people talk

well and my friends have read it so i i wanted mr liz to read it with me and then as i was telling him about it he's like i don't think i'd be interested in this and i was like it's not about you being interested in it it's about us having something to do together yeah babe it's about you participating in something i'm interested in because you want to talk to me about it ever think about that it's a bonding opportunity to be fair i tune him out every time he starts to tell me about jujitsu i've i've um resorted to um putting on a very polite face i try to be interested but uh anyways i want your thoughts on this phrase that they use in the sex scenes oh um i'll just say like a sentence as he feasted on me ew ew uh-huh ew ew i'm like

i texted so i started a group chat with like two of my girlfriends who i know have read it and i'm i'm just like talking shit about the main character there's something that's kind of annoying about her the way that like bella swan from twilight is kind of annoying you're like okay you're kind of dumb you're there's not a lot like happening you're this but you're this special chosen girl that everyone's obsessed with and then the main character's name is Feyre and Feyre goes around and she just like is always like painting little things on stuff like and everyone's like oh my god she's so quirky I love this manic pixie dream fairy kind of yeah and then she like I don't know her character arc is weird there's just like not enough character development

she's 20 and her her mate is this 500 year old fairy and and everyone's like money well yeah because he's like the high lord oh and i mean he better have money if he's been around for that many years yeah exactly if i wasn't a millionaire by the time i was 500 that there was something wrong you know well and if you're high fae especially if you're a high lord you know you rule you rule your your kingdom your court so they're like the equivalent of like a king you know oh but good for him i just is he dumpy like why are we mad that she's with him um no he's great oh but but also i noticed there's this thing where people like i call him he's like a book boyfriend you know everyone's like oh my god i love him um and i think all the hype around him

is because he like just innately understands and respects consent like but consent about everything he's like you don't have to do anything you don't want to do like it's consent like sex is consensual um like what she chooses to participate in yeah and then it's just very much like we're equals and everyone's like wow and i was telling mr liz about it and he's like that should be the bare minimum i'm like see you're exactly like he's a book boyfriend yeah and i haven't said the name because i don't want to like spoil anything too much that's fair yeah because someone might read it i don't know yeah exactly you might read it it's it's it's fun i will say it's fun okay uh it's kind of like um a reality tv show for me like yeah you're like i

know this isn't good but i'm still like having fun that's such a good way to put it as we have vanderpump rules season five going on pause on pause behind us but i wanted your thoughts on i don't like it feasted on i don't like it at all feasted on me i don't like how really like any author writes about sex like it's like he says it like one time and then i feel like the author just like clung to that he's like i want you the first time i have you i want you spread on a table like a feast and you're like okay i can maybe like i don't know it feels a little army hammer he feasted on me like girl just say he ate you out yeah i don't like that at all but i really really hate how like every sexual thing is written like when people i've said this

before on the podcast she says bundle of nerves you mean your clit girl come on ew she calls the clit a bundle of nerves yeah the bundle of nerves she's nervous she's like a bundle at the apex of my groin i don't know i just don't like like when people say like her soft supple bosom i'm like no like we don't that is the worst i feel like we just need to be real about it yeah like her big old titties her big bouncing ass knockers that's like if i feel like that would be like if a dude wrote it it like just a fraternity bro yeah i would love a retelling of the sex scenes by just like a bro you know yeah oh my god i would pay so much money and then he ate her pussy i mean i would much rather read something like that than like

feasted on there's also a scene where like i'm just like this is getting a little out of hand um there was a scene where like they they're putting on this show they're pretending to be these like like kind of bad guys and um she's like feyra's dancing on the high lord and they might as well be fucking everyone's staring at them and because they're supposed to be causing a distraction and i was like a distraction this is expected from you yeah i don't know but but in general yeah describing like they're about to fuck in front of everyone yeah i don't know no it was a bit much i hear you is this like a fan is this like a real book or is this like a fan this is real book a real book see and that's also another thing i'm like i've read better fan

yeah i was about to say like i feel like fanfic can get away with being kind of bad you know because people aren't reading it for like like no the literature of it well and like i think people assume i think we've talked about this fan fiction is like all smut and it's not no like some of the best fan fictions i've read have just like a really good plot and i think that my barometer for how i measure smut is different because i've read an omega verse fan fiction you know and that is insanely pornographic but i do appreciate how straightforward an omega verse absolutely sex scene is a big old bounce and knockers yeah they're just like and then he fucked me up against the wall and then you're like that's hot yeah and that is what it is

that's what the reader wants feasting on me on a fucking wall yeah you know what i mean yeah he feasted on me on the wall thanksgiving dinner oh it's so gross another thing that annoys me a little bit it just irks me um is they always say male and female because they're not men or women they're not humans they're fae people i think i've told you this before my ex used to call like when i would be wet he would call it juices ew like when we like when we first started dating and we were like sexting you know he would be like he would like describe it as my juices i hate that so much it's like oh i'm immediately bone dry yeah yeah it's not um it's not sexy and now whenever everybody whenever anybody's like cooking and they're like use the juices from like

the i'm like could we just call it anything else he's ruined the word juices for me all right what if he called it your gravy my god what are some other things you could think of good gravy juices gravy um uh dew drops dew drops that's that's what they call it in accord with dew drops no they would i know exactly it does feel very fey um um yeah what other like liquids are there smoothie smoothie i thought of that one too but i was like it's a little thick yeah you might have a yeast infection yeah if it's like a smoothie you need to see a doctor I can't I just can't get over juices yeah it's awful oh man you're so watery yeah you're damp

you're moist what if it's feeling soggy down there um what what what's the question where people are like is water wet yeah I don't know yeah you got into that philosophical discussion in the middle yeah like you're so wet what how do you know i'm wet yeah right what what defines wet what is wet yeah if not i don't know if i had like one more brain cell than normal today i feel like i could write a full poem we really shoot ourself in the foot by recording on mondays but we when the fuck else are we gonna do it you know i don't that's so real this is the only real time I listened to a voice note today from somebody that left me the voice note on Instagram in 2021.

So if you've messaged me and I have not answered, I have not seen it. It's been three years. It's been three years, but I messaged her back today because she bought some of my merch and like using her first ever paycheck, which was really, really sweet. But she sent a voice note in 2021 being like, hi, she's, I think she's British. Her accent sounded British, but she said that she listens to the podcast. And she's been listening chronologically starting at episode one. And I was like, no, no, please don't.

Don't. Please don't. Like, it's like that scene in Interstellar. You're like, no, no, please don't listen to how dumb we were and how bad our audio quality was. Oh, it was bad. My one of my topics I made a video about today and I just think it's cute. So I wanted to talk about it.

um have you seen those sand structures that white spotted male puffer fish will create to impress female puffer fish just for the chance it is that is the cutest fucking thing i've ever heard in my life like they spend they do it for 24 hours until they make the most perfect sand start so they don't sleep and then like if like a little piece of debris like floats into it clean it up they like pick up the debris and like fix it it's the cute and they look so like thrilled when they're when yeah with their little faces yeah they're smiling and it's just and like then the females are just like not this one goes on to the next one when that guy was just like working on that for the past like 140 hours another lady might like it yeah let that be a lesson yeah you should do

do a little work yeah you can't you can't be everyone's puffer fish take that lesson from today's episode yeah i just thought it was so fucking cute like these mating rituals of this little fish also it's really sweet in the video that i watched they had like they showed how puffer fish mate oh really weird they like the female or the male bites yep like they bite each other's cheek cute and then they're just kind of like stuck there for a sec and then it's done that's the mating but i didn't like it it made me very uncomfortable huh i'm like oh this was cute now it's i'm watching fish porn now i feel like i shouldn't be in the room yeah i feel like i'm yeah this is this is y'all's thing this seems private yeah i feel like i'm violating y'all's

privacy well and then doesn't the the fish lays the eggs and then the male fish guards them yeah stays and guards them in his nice little structure in his little that's so fucking cute it is cute anyway if he wanted to he would ladies that's why maybe that's why men love holding up fish in their pictures because oh damn there's just like this inherent connected like bro-ness that's the real circle of life yeah yeah real recognized real hell yeah um should we read this email yeah why not i know we're pretty early on in the why not let's switch it up yeah let's let's just get right into this email um the subject of this one is jd vance equals the worst amen jd vance is the embodiment of those people in the workplace harassment

training videos just dramatized version of women can't do this job they should be moms and i'm sorry if my joke hurt your feelings but maybe you should learn how to take a joke and why isn't she grateful she should smile more okay I don't really have anything else to say but after the last pod I needed to get this opinion off my chest Kamala 2024 and then we keep names private but amen that's I mean word for word hashtag white dudes for Kamala hell yeah I told uh Mr. Liz that that was trending on Twitter like the other day and he's like will you get me a shirt that says that oh my god do it oh that reminds me we have a friend me and Liz who is selling childless cat lady shirts um and donating all of the proceeds to the center for reproductive rights and then

personally matching up to 250 um her instagram handle is molly leishner m-o-l-l-y l-e-i-s-c-h-n-e-r and she has a link in her bio and then we can also share it to our instagram as well so you guys can find it um but it's super cute i bought one i bought a i bought a t-shirt i'm so it's gonna be delivered this week i'm really excited and i was thinking about all the actual childless cat ladies in my life that i know hell yeah you know we're two of them 100 of this podcast is a childless cat lady and that's beautiful that is such a good point 100 of this podcast yeah these childless cat ladies proud of it i don't know i'm pretty fucking happy yeah me too the haters are besides themselves and they absolutely beside themselves right now um if i were a

hater i would be the haters are just always beside themselves yeah why is that i don't know how do you how is one beside themselves where's that phrase from that i do not know like is it like an out-of-body experience you're like you're so mad that you're just like you're just like transcend you've like yeah you've split into two you've osmosis you're watching yourself yeah oh i don't know damn i feel that though well that's why we say shooketh now yeah and so besides besides themselves yeah um sick thank you for writing in we love when y'all email us so please always do even if it's a small thought please we miss you yeah call us back take us back we miss you um have you seen or are you familiar with the backroom casting couch porn videos i mean never

heard of it so the concept of it is and has been that this guy is a casting director for porn and he's brings these women in to interview them and he's like well part of the interview process is you have to fuck me on camera and then like they have sex and he's like okay now you have to like suck my dick and like i'm gonna eat you out and have you done anal you haven't well now you're gonna try it's like that kind of thing and it's like a very is this a paid interview well so the whole thing is like there is no job and there is no money you know it's like I fooled these bitches but it's scripted it doesn't seem like it when you're watching it like it seems like they're like oh like okay yeah sure you know but like apparently it would be illegal I mean it obviously

it would be illegal to film these women and distribute their videos without their consent I wish you guys could see my face right now I'm like it's not happy to be hearing this it is just it's creepy it's super creepy and and icky and like cruel and he blurs his face out of all of the videos and when I wanted to do research on this because I was like what is the history of this because it's one of those phrases like casting couch is such like a turn of phrase yeah you know and so i was doing some research the dude his name is eric whittaker um people know who he is now he has a herpes diagnosis and he has unprotected sex with all of these women so i don't know if now he doesn't or if he only casts people that also have herpes i don't know

how he does it but he doesn't use condoms and it's in Arizona um that's right by the airport is there an airport in Scottsdale yes it's the Scottsdale airport the office building is like right outside of it they ran him out of it it's like he doesn't do it there anymore I don't know I don't even know if he's still making videos but when I was reading about this there was a whole lot of conversation about like how this highlights so many issues of women in entertainment like like on the heels of Harvey Weinstein like doing sexual favors for jobs and how it's been now sexualized I mean for a very long time it's been sexualized but it's like having the me too movement be in the spotlight makes people look at that kind of thing differently yeah you know like

if you do this then I'll give you a job like just kidding no I won't but it like brought up the question for me of like when does this turn into like a cnc kink versus like an exploitative thing you know what I mean I think also cnc kinks are so like complicated to navigate yeah because i would never would you ever trust a man who says he has a cnc king no absolutely not absolutely not impulsive it feels like a then there's something like about like if you have been assaulted then it kind of like takes the fear out of it yeah and has well i don't know if it necessarily i don't have a cnc kick so i can't yeah um and also if you don't know what cnc means it means um consensual non-consent so essentially just like a rape fantasy um and i just think yeah

if you have been assaulted i have heard that people have this kink as a way to kind of reclaim the fear of that yeah um or even if you haven't been assaulted but yeah i think uh i think a lot of us have been assaulted uh-huh in one way or another yeah um yeah i just because because it's it's the kink it the kink is exploit exploitation it's exploiting women yeah treating them as objects um kind of like trickery of like oh i'm i'm tricking these dumb bitches into sucking my dick yeah yeah exactly it's it's that's an exploitation kink at the end of the day humanizing yeah totally yeah and I don't know if it's like for people that are turned on by it because it really is it is like a big category like people like really love casting couch videos like even

if it's not the cast the backroom casting couch like that one like the idea of somebody coming in for like a job and like fucking the producer is like I don't know if it's the reality of it that like is like oh this is like actually somebody like actually having sex you know what I mean and like yeah but yeah I don't know like if because I know also like amateur porn is like a big category for people yeah because you want to feel like it's relatable yeah so it's like oh if these two people like this like woman comes in not really knowing what she's doing like is that like a relatable thing it's because I never want to like we say this all the time like we don't want to kink shame but I'm looking at it now through the lens of like all these articles

that i read about the me too movement and like how the casting couch trope is like contributing to that problem yeah and i want to understand what's hot what's sexy about it i don't know what it is like the like clueless girl you know i don't know i think i think ultimately it's a little more sinister than that i think the appeal of it is um the exploitation control yeah yeah it sucks it super sucks yeah and meanwhile bitches like me are reading fairy smut where it's all about like consent and like getting eaten out that's what girls want yeah if you want girls to fuck you then read a fucking fairy book then feast on them yeah now you know feast on this it's the real feastable move aside mr beast that was a deep cut that's the name of his

chocolate brand uh i don't like mr beast i think he's a fucking idiot no he's he's like getting canceled currently i don't know anything like i've never seen his videos i know he like makes people like compete to get a car or some bullshit but i saw one of his tweets that was like if i were ran for president i don't know it just felt like the dumbest person you know saying like the dumbest thing you've ever heard right now he's being like torn apart by like ex-employees he has um one of his friends Ava Chris Tyson is has been on like all of Mr. Beast's videos I'm pretty sure Ava uses she her pronouns now but a lot of people came out with uh evidence of Ava Chris Tyson like saying inappropriate things to minors like in the past and like having um I don't remember

the name of the artist I don't even fucking care because I don't want to like give this man more of a platform but there's this artist that creates um like pictures of children in like sexual situations ew like he like draw like makes cartoons dude i encountered someone on twitter like that and literally he was saying stupid shit and people were also like you're a fucking pedophile and then he's like i'm blocking you if you're calling me a pedophile because they're not even real kids and it's like you're still sexualizing yeah the the idea of a child right that's pedophilia uh-huh you're a fucking pedophile yeah and you're touting it about uh-huh make pedophiles scared again absolutely that's yeah that's what i want what that's honestly that

everyone should be running on that platform this election season make pedophiles scared again yeah I'll make hats that's the new red hat um but now like people are so Ava left Mr. Beast like on her own but I don't I think maybe that was like a that was a business decision yeah the way that um when cops kill someone they put them on paid leave yeah exactly exactly well we we gave him a giant severance check but yeah yeah but he doesn't have a job so we're doing the right thing yeah we spent your taxpayer money on giving this guy a fat severance check anyways makes me so mad but there's all this evidence now that mr beast knew about all this all this time and now people are really coming laying it on thick about like wait who what's the thing with the artist guy

oh Ava had like a bunch of like she she has been historically a huge fan of this guy's art yeah she like has a bunch of it yeah uh-huh but Mr. Beast's ex-employees are coming out saying like all of this stuff about like him running like illegal contests illegal raffles with kids like how he uses like um like psychology to trick kids into like subscribing to him and like use like spending their parents money on merch that like has a signature on it but then there's videos of his like team like forging his signature on shit yeah so anyway you not liking mr beast is fine and we're the new feastables this puss we're the new feastables this pussy is the new feast i don't like it um it's like a lunchable yeah but but juicier with more juices

no cheese only ham i know i'm sorry i wish i didn't say that you can remove it no i'm gonna keep it in i'm sorry to all the listeners that you had to hear me say that but yeah no that i just wanted to talk about the casting couch trope because it's something that has always been like a big question mark for me of like do we like tricking women into sex is that what this is this is why i encourage everybody to take a break from porn yeah and just tap into that imagination you'll get really creative yeah uh and then uh you'll think of some things that you want to try yeah like you know what let's let's do this let's try it out i yeah i did something like that um with mr liz this was i don't know like a year ago or something he was like

oh how did you think of that and then I was like I don't know imagination yeah my big girl imagination maybe I saw it somewhere but something that I fantasized about and I was like hell yeah let's give it a go I love that let's try it out that's great and he was into it too he was like oh yeah hell yeah oh he's like what was that oh my god um I had another uh cuck mommy moment yesterday oh can't relate i need okay so i don't know how in depth we've gone about this i love when women have a crush on frank i love it i don't know what it is i don't like that's not historically how it's been for me in relationships whenever a girl has given any of my like exes or flings attention i'm like but he's mean you know yeah now i'm like uh-huh well it's because you're

in a secure relationship I think that that does have to do with it but I got a little like jelly yesterday oh yeah one of our friends um I don't even think he knows that I was a little jealous but I was a little like um one of our friends co-workers met him at a holiday party years ago and she's going through a divorce right now and so our mutual friend was like um like well what's your type and she eventually was like oh my god like your friend frank um like is exactly my type like i haven't stopped thinking about him since i met him at the holiday party yeah girl i was like and we looked at her and she's super hot and i'm like no why do you have to she's hot i think if i think yeah if they're not hot if they're or if they're like not as hot as you yeah like oh that's

cute yeah but she was so pretty and frank was like yeah she's like really pretty i don't know she's she's not you so it was like he responded the right way darn tootin but she was so hot and i was like do we really need to tell him that do we really need to tell him that this super hot girl has been thinking about him i just it was an interesting it was a new sensation for me yeah jealousy yeah yeah i short-lived but well if if you want some expert advice um i get jealous all the time so i don't really have i like i'm at a point now where i'm like well because mr liz is fucking hot yeah you know yeah he's a hottie everyone says it yeah a lot a lot of people say it especially men yeah oh god frank frank being one of them this the straightest of man is like

that's a good looking man uh-huh um and he's only getting hotter which is really annoying it's like can you get worse looking just for a little bit just for a little treat frustrating to me um yeah get uglier as a treat for me no but I've gotten to a point where I'm like well he's in a committed relationship with me we fucking

live together yeah um so it's at this point I'm like yeah people people think my my hot boyfriend's hot it's a compliment to you at the end of the day I'm like am I as hot as my hot boyfriend yeah you are but I mean everybody knows that get insecure about it

I understand that but you guys are a hot couple thank you you're welcome i'm just stating fact the sky is blue fish swim you guys are a hot couple it but it was a i don't know this time last year it was like a deep insecurity for me i understand it was that girl who came up to and hit on him right in front of me and all of our friends and that made me mad yeah she was not hot though like just in that like phase of your life yeah yeah that's a difficult thing to see uh-huh yeah it's a weird time to try and remember as well yeah it feels like a not that wasn't me yeah you know what i mean totally what was it like for you um it was sad oh just like being someone that because i

think that it's easier as somebody who loves you to be able to like see what's actually going on you know what i mean it was sad but it was also one of those things where i was like she's gonna come out of this so fucking like boss bitch yeah i was like all right if this breaks me i'm going to lose my fucking mind no it was a character development moment for you i do think that those moments are always the ones that i look back on for my own personal experience and i'm like i'm so happy that that happened and you've said that a few times about that time in your life it did take a while but yeah i think it made me kind of like i i'm trying to think of how to explain this to the listeners who weren't like part of it

yeah you know because i did keep that part of my life private yeah um our relationship was just a like a little rocky and it wasn't like it wasn't rocky where people were are like i think you guys should break up it's like i hope they work through this yeah totally not projecting you know i'm not trying to say like yeah that's it's absolutely everyone wanted us to stay together no it's just like uh it was a hard point in our relationship where we're like okay um we either want the same thing or we don't so we need to figure that out and then uh we figured it out and it was it was so bizarre like by the end of the summer we had it figured out and then um it was almost like nothing had happened or not that nothing had happened but just that like we were so ready to

like accept moving forward together that yeah it just felt really easy and like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders but it still was pretty traumatic I do think that those moments always make cup not always if you if you come out of those moments you come out of it stronger yeah exactly which is cool like my my way of thinking of it or well when I thought about it too I like sure I was really like upset and angry and frustrated and trying to like keep everything together um but I also was like okay I really love this person I'm not gonna like yell at them like to love me you know or like to want the same thing as me totally a matter of like okay well this is my point of view and I want to hear your point of view like we need to keep

working on this yeah we figure out what we're doing um what was I gonna say um oh yeah just that like I don't it's inevitable in your relationship like if you are in a serious relationship with someone for a long time it's inevitable that you're going to get to a point where you you have some challenging decisions to make yeah and I didn't want to be in a relationship with someone who I couldn't like go through something challenging with totally so yeah it's made our communication so much better hell yeah it's also made me a little more like steely I don't know if that's the right word but like I instead of being like oh my god I can't lose my partner I'm more of the mindset of like okay well if you want to go then go yeah I'm not

gonna like convince you to be in a relationship with me if you don't want to be yeah because I and it does feel hard in the moment too when you're like the threat of losing someone is very close to actually happening but to get yourself in the mindset of like okay i'm going to prepare myself to let go of this person if i have to yeah um and i think that was a really freeing experience for me totally to be like okay i really love this person and of course i don't want to lose this relationship but also i have never like if you really think big picture do you want to be with someone that you had to beg to be in a relationship with you well I feel like that's also like the difference between like a healthy relationship

and a codependent relationship because like you're treating the relationship as its own thing rather than like if this falls apart I'm going to die which is exactly how it feels when you're in it yeah it did kind of feel like that but then I was also like you were with me like you know how mad I was yeah yeah which is honestly a much more useful emotion than yeah and I wasn't like I wasn't like mad at Mr. Liz I was mad at how he handled some a few different things but yeah um which in a way also too is like honoring the fact that it's like you know this you guys are treating the relationship as its own thing yeah exactly you know it's our it's a shared thing and we both like it's like you me and our relationship yeah um but i was gonna say something else i will say that

like um what was that the crux of it all like the point of like that almost broke everything i guess i don't know mr liz was just scared yeah and like yeah that makes sense uh-huh this is a really big point in our life that like neither of us has experienced like okay we're taking a really big step deciding like okay we do want some kind of future together what that looks like right now we don't need to figure it out if you're already panicking about living yeah yep um but i think the moving in together conversation i think was like that was just more of the surface of it that was kind of like uh the thing that caused kind of this domino effect of like okay well i'm afraid of all of it yeah it was the tip of the iceberg yeah yeah and um i know that's also i

it can be such an excuse that people use for their partner of like oh well he was just afraid and sure sometimes that is true um but it can't always be an excuse and like you also can't just like excuse someone's actions because they're afraid yeah you can't coddle them yeah because ultimately it still was really harmful yeah so totally um yeah and I think that yeah I was I was definitely afraid too in a different way but I was also like excited but I'm glad that it all happened the way that it did because it improved our communication not that our communication was bad but like if someone is so afraid to share their feelings like yeah that's that's a practice you have to practice sharing your feelings and talking about hard stuff um

and it's still not easy but right like it's it's become more second nature yeah i would say for both of us especially for mr liz that's not something that i think that like men are taught to do like how to like talk about their feelings in a productive way yeah um and i mean i wasn't fucking taught to do that i was i had to learn in therapy like yeah yeah it's just something yeah you either need to take the initiative to learn or you're forced to learn by making mistakes yeah i feel like that's something that's beat out of us though i like i wonder if like humans are naturally good at talking through their emotions but then they're taught that it's like not okay too yeah i wonder how much of it is nature versus nurture yeah because if you think about it like

um like the sense of like a bad feeling yeah to be like oh i don't want to feel this bad feeling yeah yeah i mean to ignore it or do other stuff to like not feel it yeah like is that learned or is it inherent well i think that it's learned because like we've i think we've talked about this on the podcast you and i have definitely talked about it about how like women are like psychic because they actually are like taught to trust their intuition and men are men don't uh they don't know how to fucked men so truly egregiously they have it has been told to them that it's like oh you have like oh you're scared like you're feeling a little anxious like suck it up you know your instinct as a man is to kill yeah yeah and it's just like i feel like that

it has to be a nurture thing that it's that men don't have that because it's not a biological thing like you would think the biological thing would be to like listen to your gut but that's so like societally a female thing to do yeah you know yeah to sit there and pick apart your feelings yeah be like okay i need to unravel this yeah yeah yeah i mean i i was the opposite before i like went to therapy of just like i'm gonna push this feeling down and mask it all with rage and um i am always right and i am the victim yeah which sounds like a very peaceful way to live yeah i was so happy yeah i was so happy these are happy tears yeah i i definitely i think i like maybe i'm a little too harsh on like past liz pre-therapy liz and even even even sometimes

post-therapy liz um because i don't know i still have a lot of friends so if i was that bad of a person like i wouldn't have friends that right i love so much totally it's all i mean it's all internal how we think about things it's like you know it's like i don't know i've caught myself like feeling like oh if i talk to somebody about something that's been bugging me they're gonna think that i'm crazy but it's because it's been like built up in my head for so long it's the first time they're hearing it so they're not gonna think that i'm crazy but it's like when you have a conversation with yourself so much and you tell yourself like like oh i was like a really shitty person i like was like had a victim complex but it all up here like of course your friends

wouldn't notice it yeah but looking back on it it's like how the fuck like why did these people stick around it's because it was all internal yeah which is like a sad way to live like one of my closest friends and i were talking about it like i was like sometimes i'm worried that i was a bad friend to you like in college yeah and she was like i've been worried about that too like but I think that when you're just younger we're all in our own world so much that we're like not we're not thinking about that yeah like I don't know I was never like why aren't my friends doing this for me and like not doing the same thing for them I don't know we were all just trying to figure it out yeah our brains were developing and then you know undeveloping because we were

drinking so much yeah which why was that normalized why was it i don't know if it was like that um at your school um drinking like binge drinking yeah just getting like absolutely fucked up we were a big four days a week technically my school is considered a big weed school but i feel like everyone mostly drank you know yeah well because weed was still like not accessible the way it is now oh that's true you can just walk into a store and be like give me a joint please and they're like that'll be two dollars yeah yeah no i had a bunch of friends that were dealers which is crazy to think back on they were just like growing pot in their dorm rooms and like one of them now has a whole farm i mean that's fucking business acumen if i've ever heard that is that is

exponential growth if i've ever heard it from dorm room to a like 300 acre farm good for you wow that is farm to table right there that is that is table to farm uh mr liz uh one of his friends he just says like phrases incorrectly like um instead of like slippery slope he'll say slidey road so we we take these little like isms and and use them but one of them is field to door does he do it on purpose no that's so cute i and i like i love that he like knows what he he has the general like idea of what the yeah the euphemism is or or whatever it's like the generic brand of cereal yeah it's just like a little different yeah he's the one who came up with tandem around oh yeah on actually it's for yeah trinkets are snacks and I can't not call like

when I say trinket I have to like check myself and be like oh not everyone knows that means a snack to me yeah yeah yeah little trinket trinkets yeah well because it's along the line of treat yeah but a trinket can be anything any snack it doesn't need to be a sweet treat oh so it'd be like a cracker yeah or a cracker it's a bag of chips you know a trinket's like a bag okay so it's okay it's a little understanding now it's it's more inclusive because treat to me means it's gonna be sweet that's true yeah actually you know you're right yeah i want a treat yeah i'm not like talking about like jalapeno chips when i say a little treat yeah when i say treat treat to me is either some kind of sweet snack or um like a tasty drink like an ollie pop oh yeah have you

tried the banana cream ollie yes uh they were i went to i never go to the grocery store on like a sunday but i did yesterday because i was looking for something and we walked by the ollie pops and there were so many flavors that are never there because they're always sold out and uh i got the last three banana cream oh fuck yeah ollie pops good well i got two and then um i wasn't tall enough to see the third one i i thought there were more behind it and mr liz is like do you want to just grab the last one and i was like don't mind if i do banana cream sounds like what they would call cum in your book banana cream yeah i feasted on his banana cream i feasted on banana cream he feeds it on my banana cream uh ew wow um the calling things like wrong names

like a little bit off reminds me always i've probably said this last time we talked about it but how my my dad you know the phrase silver fox he calls it a gray goose a great i mean gray goose vodka is pretty fucking fancy good but he's like what do they call them a gray goose that's you you're the gray goose you're a gray goose dad i love well done silver fox also i want to call out last week you were like oh this is gonna be like a little 48 minute and it was like literally exactly 48 minutes after you edited it i was like i love that for me fucking girls she can fucking count i i can like gauge how long an episode's like probably gonna be we have been doing this for four years that's crazy it doesn't feel like it no it really doesn't a lot of it is

second nature well so yet last week i had a lot of curveballs thrown at me that's that mercury retrograde shadow so that's why i didn't get around to i wasn't even able to edit until friday which is when we go live yeah um so apologies to the listeners but that's what life comes at you fast you know it do and when you have to rely on other means of income you gotta prioritize that yeah um yeah so uh but editing was so quick and i was like this would have taken me forever back in the day hell yeah i forget how long it takes me you know yeah sometimes it's just like wham bam thank you ma'am i love it all done yes i know it's just we don't like the back of our hands now i love this yellow on you by the way thank you so does frank i think it's because it makes me

look tan i i also feel like yellow is just like uh one it's a hard color to pull off and i also think that you need the personality for yellow you know and you have the perfect personality for the color yellow you have a sunny disposition um you're full of banana cream i will be soon i will be soon nice as a reminder this is a sex podcast sometimes we forget and maybe you do too um well thanks thank you i like this shirt on me too i like the necklines it makes my my tata's are you wearing any makeup a little bit you you look so like fresh faced and like showering i also did my little um yeah i walked in amelia had her oh i needed to bring you my heatless wave thing it's

totally fine you know whenever i brought i i'm gonna come bearing gifts i love that i brought a gift for um uh frank so good well we went mr liz and i saw it while we were antiquing um also we were at a like christian antique shop which i did not know that was a thing that exists um it started playing christian music and mr liz and i made eye contact like across the store like gotta get out of this place they're gonna smite us um and we found we walked past this little sign and mr liz is like should we get that for frank and it says uh don't you wish you could text god so fucking good like if you're not religious is like incredibly funny so fucking you wish you could text god it sounds just like a high idea frank like loves these like i like unironic like

live laugh love christian boomer signs yeah like we have one in our kitchen that says no coffee no worky and it's like if you know his personality it's funny and if you don't it's cringy yeah we made you the we're just gonna give you a sign collection against your will we would love that because we made them one that says live laugh kebab it's the best it makes me smile every time i see it kebab it's truly just the gift that keeps on giving a boomer sign yeah bring him back we have one in our laundry room says what would scooby do oh my god that's so cute i love that did you buy it that way no i got it um for christmas for uh the white elephant gift exchange i remember you talking about that anyway should we wrap yeah i think that we should okay well

thanks for listening you hang up no you hang up no you hang up okay i'll hang up should i get into it yeah oh oh my god take us to church liz ball oh my god i'm feeling it i'm feeling it the power compels me okay bye Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.