The Hoely Hour - E196 Never Not Mewing

Episode Date: August 23, 2024

Everyone's favorite GigaChad, Mr. Liz, fills in for Amelia this week. Liz and Mr. Liz tell each other their least favorite things about each other, their biggest red flags, and what they think of The Cheesecake Factory (the foundations of every successful relationship). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Will you talk? I'll be boop-bop, boop-a-da-boop. Welcome to The Holy Hour, a podcast about sex, relationships, mental health, and everything in between. I'm Amelia Sampson. And I'm Liz Ball. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at The Holy Hour. I'm on Instagram and TikTok at Amelia Sampson. And I'm on Instagram and TikTok at LizBallSoHard.

You can also watch us on YouTube or listen ad-free on Patreon at patreon.com slash theholyhour. check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com so you'll want to like grip it pretty firmly and then firmly grasp it yeah and uh am i clipping no okay i think you'll be okay Unless you get really excited. I'm quite excitable.

That's the one thing I tell people about you. But yeah, try not to wiggle your fingers at all. Okay. I'm going to do a little introduction. So obviously Mr. Liz is co-hosting with me this week because Amelia is out of town. I've prepared some questions and some games for you, but we'll keep it conversational. Mr. Liz was a very good sport today when I made the worst dinner I've ever made. It was a terrible meal.

It probably wasn't the worst dinner you ever made, but it was certainly... It was very bad for my skill set. Yeah. i didn't have any solutions so i didn't want to just be causing problems during the process and that's something that i'm trying to get better at is flagging problems without having us any better alternative or a solution just like coming into something that i'm like this is fucked up and just start pointing out fucked up things and then leaving no one likes that when do you do that or when have you done that i do that at work all the time you're one of those

um sometimes i wonder if i would like working with you no probably not i mean maybe more recently if we met in the office you would be my nemesis what would you do your work on time i always do my work on time okay see this is this is what i need from co-workers them to do their work on time and then them for me to be totally okay with me not doing my work on time so you the double standard absolutely uh if you don't do your work on time and that's fine unless it affects me that's my yeah my mindset um i like the asmr of of your drink you can hear that yeah mr liz made negronis for us uh take the edge off this thursday

He made it as a consolation for me and my terrible meal, which I ate some of it, but I'm going to try and fix it afterwards. How would you describe the meal I made? Hearty. Hearty. Well, what was it? It was going to be a Mongolian beef and broccoli with some noodles. but substituting the uh cornstarch for flour turned the sauce more into a gravy well i also put too much flour in because when i was mixing it i was like this isn't thick enough i want it

to be thicker but i i didn't realize it was gonna thicken up even more when we yeah as soon as it touched heat it like turned into uh play-doh yeah it's it's basically like a like when you put gravy in the fridge and it kind of gets like jello-y the flavor is good it's just the flavor was great i was so hungry that i didn't mind the texture and i just snarfed the whole thing yeah i mean i i i felt um just appreciative that you were willing to eat it yeah and it didn't make me feel bad about my bad meal most most of our meals are pretty good well um i have some word association prepared for you um and i just have a short list of words that came to my mind when i wrote this okay okay the first one is paper airplane paper airplane i mean paper clip was

the first thing that came to mind okay do you want to expand on that um they both have paper in the name wow yeah you really are a riveting segment um penis uh beepus waffle oh uh i don't know uh powdered sugar powdered sugar is that what you like to put on your waffles uh yeah among other things we lulu would make um my grandmother still makes belgian waffles and we load those up with all sorts of goodness what's uh your favorite kind of waffle my favorite kind of waffle well i mean there's like blueberry waffles there's belgian waffles there's chocolate chip waffles belgian waffles those are pretty fucking good have you had costco belgian waffles no but there's no way they're as good as my grandmother's

i i would agree i even though i've never had uh lulu's belgian waffles i think she makes it like a buttermilk uh not syrup batter buttermilk syrup would be disgusting um i the one of my favorite things i just forgot about this until now but what i would always eat like at home as a teenager you know you come home from school and you're starving and you either like eat like three bowls of cereal or oh yeah something i would do three bowls of cereal uh when we had the costco belgian waffles you pop a couple of those in the toaster and then smack some peanut butter on there delicious this this summer i housed so many frozen waffles you did eat a lot of frozen waffles it's the perfect breakfast when you don't feel like eating anything but you know you need food

because they just like i don't know buttery do you would you put them in the microwave you don't have a toaster i would put them in the oven and then i would try to eat like six and then i forgot about the door just in one big stack oh my god literally standing up just Okay, I have a few more words. Boy. Shorts. Man. Child.

Butthole. Squanch. Will you expand on squanch for the listeners? Yeah, squanch is, it's kind of like a squeeze, but it's also a vibe. um if if liz says will you squanch me that means that she wants her back cracked so that involves her laying on the ground then me kneeling over top of her and then trying to crack her back with without trying to go too hard and just exploding her which is what i think is gonna happen every time i'm so happy when it doesn't um and uh there's like this food truck

around uh what's it called snoqualmie called i think it's called sasquatch box or called squatch box squash box but i just like calling it squanch box i think the first time i ever heard you use squanch as like a verb um you're like i'm about to squanch my pants yeah it's just anything associated with maybe a sasquatch or a sam squanch and anything that might be just a funny thing to say with squanch well and squanch is also in rick and morty oh no i hate it oh you didn't know that no i thought you did it on purpose oh no squanchy oh no is that the little like raggedy fucker yeah god damn it and he says squanch and then beth's like i squanch my family and everyone's like oh it's so weird when you say it yeah

anyways i thought you did that on purpose i'm very upset now i'm sorry it's okay well i think it's funny because it's it means its own thing to us yeah we're gonna reclaim squanch um and then the last word is party favor that's boring well what what's a what's a good party favor hmm i mean having a a cool shot glass would be fun yeah what's a good opportunity to give out a party favor oh shrooms would be an excellent party favor in my opinion what are some well i want to talk more about party favors what are some party favors from weddings that are good would be a good wedding party favor this is something that you'd want to take home with you afterwards um

i don't know i feel like i'm i'm at such a point where i just want less stuff that like anything from a like it would be some it liked like a photo booth printout or like a film picture something like that that's put on the fridge fun memory but it's not taking up dust space no idea like a something i could eat probably yeah chocolates would be fun oh this is what i want like a snack bag to take back with you while you're traveling home or like a little hangover kit hangover kit excellent um the wedding that i went to with kevin they did something like that and it was awesome it was like hydration thingamajiggies liquid iv yeah like liquid iv powder uh ibuprofen packet ibuprofen makeup wipe different like candies and stuff yeah nice yeah

that would be that that take notes to anybody planning a wedding i guess uh now i have a series of questions for you okay um what's your least favorite thing about me oh where to begin no um my least favorite thing about you why would you ask me that because i thought it would be funny you asking me this question right now yeah we'll go with that no say i want to know the truth though um all right how about you answer that question for me while i'm thinking about my answer uh my least favorite thing about you no about yourself oh no i'm kidding about me um my least favorite thing about you is just that sometimes your farts are so noxious that they agitate me like if you're having a bad fart night

my night is ruined like it's hard for me to fall asleep because the air is dense i can like taste it um and and it's especially confusing when we've eaten the same things all day and i feel fine and i have a sensitive tummy that's true i'm a little sensitive bunny i think uh i don't know i think my farts might be on like a 36 hour like schedule you know what i mean so like anything up to 36 well even though we've eaten some the same things in the 24 hour period like you don't know what weird protein shake or whatever yeah whatever strange thing you've consumed it's like i don't know like an animal eating like your pet eating something and it starts throwing up and you're like what the fuck did you eat oh yeah i did i did have all that leftover pizza oh i did have

a leftover oven pizza that i left out overnight and then ate this morning for breakfast um i don't know if we talked about this but no i think we did maybe at your parents house which we were all pretty fucked up though which was what is the how many hours would you be okay with pizza being left out and would just eat it after being left out maybe overnight maybe like eight hours eight to ten hours eight to ten hours i think with zach and i were in the 24 hour range oh my god did you there was like a story somewhat recently of a kid who died from eating leftovers that he had been sitting out for how long like he was eating them throughout like the week that's fucked up yeah it's honestly i like i know that i was sheltered growing up but it can be so

shocking sometimes to learn how disgusting people can be like there's some like twitch streamer who i don't know i don't want to hear this you can tell me okay well i don't know anymore i'm scared it's don't be scared there's like a clip where he has like there's a couple viral clips of him like one there's like a cockroach that climbs that crawls across his face that's just fear factor yeah except this guy doesn't get paid um and then there was another one where like he he had like tweeted something um and he was like oh and i was like fucking around with my friends as a kid with a pillow fight we broke the um light in the fan about like the ceiling light and he's like i finally just replaced it and he showed it and there's all these like

smudges on the wall and people are like what the fuck is that and he's like well and they're right next to his bed and uh they're red smudges and then he was like well my gums would bleed and instead of getting up to brush my teeth i would just he would just wipe his gum blood on the wall and i was just like you are so dirty and disgusting like thinking about it it was an intrusive thought for me for a while like yeah thank you for implanting that i'm sorry i'm sorry you asked we were talking about you asked well that's that's what a podcast is is you forget what you were talking about and then i bring us back on track okay um wait wait what were we talking about though uh what's your least favorite thing about i remember the question but we caught

on a tangent that i thought was a little bit interesting the one that we just had no well yes but the beginning of the tension all right we're back we were talking about uh the kid who died from eating leftovers uh-huh and i just wanted to give my just kind of uh i don't know if ethos is the right word but yeah just i like truly believe that anything that doesn't kill me makes me stronger especially when it comes to the the germ uh sense oh my god so do we need to break up 24 hour pizza turns me into a uh no that fucked up your gut biome and that's why you're yeah but now but now i can eat anything and survive can a doctor weigh in on this i'm sure at least one of you is a doctor or a nurse i think i think

in part someone who is medically the reason the reason i didn't get covid when you got covid was two two reasons uh-huh i'm very curious to see i exposed myself to so many other uh uh no that's fucking bullshit because you have gotten a cold so many times i've gotten sick more times because i dated i started dating you than i have like before because you're you're always like getting a cold and sniffling from swimming from all the lake bacteria that's not better okay well i'm allergic to that lake bacteria so that's why you still choose to swim in it you can't stop me from flopping no you i think that you didn't get covid because you were physically active and sweated out that's what that's what my second part of my theory was

and then burned it out of my system no and i think the other half of it is i was pumping you full of supplements to try and boost your immune system so you wouldn't get sick so it wouldn't fuck up your race or i'm sorry it's not a race your long ass bike ride uh i think for some context for the listeners i had covid and mr liz participated in the seattle to portland um bike ride in a single day so he biked 200 miles in a day because um he's a masochist yeah i was i was bored uh-huh okay um no i think that the supplements would help preventatively more so than stopping like as soon as you tested positive me taking supplements i don't think would have helped me not get covid it would have like i think you need to like build that up

supplement base but i like i liked the uh i think that i helped yeah i think that me thinking giving you supplements to help boost your immune system is more likely than you boosting your immune system by eating rotten old food that you've left out and you could quote me on that and wrestling sweaty men well that's part of one of my questions um but we'll get there eventually um you so you need to answer the question what's your least favorite thing about me um when you yell at the cat that's yelling that is two yelling beans I think that's valid what would you say is my biggest red flag

why are you doing this to me because I thought it would be funny I think your biggest red flag is that you're a man okay well I feel like that's just a given it's not a real one and you're straight i mean you can't trust a straight person these days you never know what's gonna happen it's true they're squirrely um biggest red flag um that you don't know where anything in seattle is

that's so true i really don't know or or like where we are no i'm like do you know how to get home from here you're like no like i have zero orientation and i'm used to driving i grew up driving somewhere where everything is a grid like you get on to one street and all you need to know is like okay do i need to go north or south or east or west or whatever and then you just start going that direction and eventually you'll get to a cross street that is familiar and then you can kind of figure it out but that does not exist in seattle except for downtown and even that is questionable at best I mean downtown is pretty straightforward but it's not yeah it's not as grid like as I would like it to be all all of Seattle okay all of Seattle sure yeah see all

of Las Vegas is pretty good yeah grid like it's not it's not walkable just smacked down in the desert yeah they had already figured out the grid situation in other cities so um that's a good red flag um how often do you mew do i mew yeah um what i think a better question is how often am i not mewing yeah well what's the answer to that never i'm never not mewing um i don't think i know how to mew properly because i i remember reading or hearing about mewing i guess reading about mewing on reddit like probably like five years ago before it became like a much bigger thing looks maxing yeah and i was like what the fuck and so it was like uh if you do this like tongue posture um your and it's just putting your tongue on the roof of your mouth right that's what i've

red yeah i think now it's conflated with just like making the giga chad face um which is fun but uh yeah i remember being like what and like trying it and like looking in the mirror and being like this i was like this makes my uh what's like not jawline but chin yeah it's like it's supposed to if you do it right it's supposed to bring the skin underneath your chin kind of up more and i remember like looking at a diagram and being like my tongue is for sure doing that and it would just push it down push my shit down for me so i was like what yeah my tongue is always on the roof of my mouth like just resting yeah well i think you kind of have to like form some suction with that a little bit but that sounds like a lot of work yeah um do you have any looks maxing tips

for the boys yes um stop this is what worked for me stop stop drinking milk like it's water um yeah seriously when did you drink milk like it was water the high school through through uh uh my brother used to do that actually yeah my brother was like trying to do the the uh bulking cut and so he would just drink a fuck ton of milk and then he was like but then i never did any of the cutting so i just kind of got fat that's really fucking funny and bulking also only works if you're working out hard and building muscle yeah he wasn't doing that yeah yeah he just my brother's pretty like naturally thin i would say so it was he was actively like he has also always loved milk and i've always hated i i could eat i could drink glasses of

whole milk i think i think that's your biggest red flag i think is that you like milk i think whole milk with like a dessert cereal is is probably one of the best foods ever what's your favorite dessert cereal oh it's really close between um cinnamon toast crunch and oops all berries i like that it's like a like a dessert cereal like you're talking about like a dessert wine yeah an aperitif or i mean a digestif a digestif um uh what's your opinion of the cheesecake factory oh man do you ask this because i went there somewhat recently i think so i was just i was making a list of whatever questions popped into my head the fact that they give the caloric values of everything right next to like the price is insane did you calculate the

like price per calorie the dollar well we were trying to figure out like what like the highest caloric meal we could have would be and i mean you can you can break 3k no problem it's an especially if you get cheesecake i feel like that it was easily it was obscene um yeah we went me and two friends went to the cheesecake factory before seeing a movie a few weeks ago and i was so fucking full it was that's an accomplishment too yeah to get you full no well maybe for you because you serve me list size portions well not that's not if you could see my face right now listener i'm shocked at a restaurant it's not it's not hard that's fair yeah you mean when you don't order from a restaurant you don't have

three days worth of leftovers that's correct um what's something you believed as or what's something you believed about dating as a teenager that's totally wrong or ridiculous to you now i don't think i had any dating preconceptions as a teenager really yeah not a single one give me some common dating preconceptions uh no you know what that's a good point because i'm like what did i expect as a teenager you know what my first boyfriend i was like i had a promise ring i was like we're gonna get married that's your new red flag that i had a promise ring i mean it wasn't like a fucking uh purity ring is so i just wanted to take care of that that situation early i was just like okay i i have

it figured out i'm gonna marry my high school boyfriend yeah um and i know everything because i'm 18 do you have any words of support for women dating men who do jujitsu that's really funny um yes your your first class is often free so uh you're trying to convince to convince the the girls to go to jiu-jitsu um or are you now you're just speaking to other men i'm speaking to other men to get their ladies into the gym okay ladies into the jiu-jitsu class i rolled with this guy who did not know what he was doing and i just wonder if that's what people thought about me when i was an early white belt and i've been doing this for three months did i say that no a bit more or less okay um with my my my words of support uh-huh um i don't know

it's over all your clothes you're gonna smell bad uh i guess maybe i should speak to the women okay of who are dating men who participate i think i don't want to uh give the impression that i'm good or know what i'm doing very very hobbyists have been doing this for like short two months yeah um it's just fun mr liz sent me a uh an instagram reel and it's cassie from euphoria crying in the bathroom in the mirror and um in the background it's a guy sounds like he's in the shower and he's like it's like my girl when we're getting ready to hang out with her friends or go out at night with her friends and then it's like yeah babe i so in class today or like if he's talking about what he learned in jiu-jitsu and he's like um i don't

think that anyone's gonna try anything but if they do like i totally got you and your friends protected and he's like but do you think you could pack one of my geese in your bag just in case and she's like crying and smiling in the mirror and then um i commented on it and i said he sent this to me good engagement yeah a bunch of girls liked it that's really fucking funny and then um the the creator of it was like please forgive him he knows not what he does it's true i don't know what i'm doing he doesn't know what he's doing when he's telling me about it either what what happens when you try to tell me about jujitsu um i see the look that you make that i probably make when you're telling me something that you could give two shits about

just like polite and then like my eyes glaze over a little bit but i'm like okay i need to listen ask at least one question because i do love this person a lot they're really excited they really like this thing so and and i'm glad that they like this thing but i don't want to go to it i think i would be more interested in hearing about it if you weren't so persistently trying to get me to go with you that's fair yeah and that must have been how you felt when i was like you should try pilates class with me well now i'm down to try pilates i can't say the same about jujitsu maybe one day that'll change but as of right now i'm not interested that's fair

mr liz brought me to like a jujitsu gathering yeah it was bad it wasn't like it could have been worse it was like a a barbecue potluck with people from the gym watching one of the ufc fights but um it was just incredibly socially awkward oh yeah i was just like this is an interesting crowd of people yeah this is a very anti-social group they're like if we're not uh choking each other out what are we supposed to do yeah yeah and i was like i don't know what to tell all of these people are talking about jujitsu and i don't know what the fuck to talk to them about that's all they wanted to talk about of course and to be fair it's like a jujitsu gathering kind of like if i hang out with um ski friends who are exclusively ski friends like i

that's literally the only thing i do with them even i get annoyed if we're only talking about skiing and obscure technicalities of it and i'm like i this is boring for me i don't care even though i love this sport and i know that everyone else is annoyed with this conversation that doesn't ski now i'm thinking about all the things that i've like kind of like been in your orbit like in attendance and like with your college friends they're always talking about like remember when and then i mean but who doesn't that's like what you're supposed to do with your college friends you're like remember when this and then um and then you catch up on like what you guys are currently doing i don't know what half of my fucking my my closest friends i don't

know what their jobs are i don't understand what they are i don't know what they are um and then yeah your ski friends really like to talk about skiing i sure do and i have no idea what they're talking about at all um and now you have jujitsu maybe bikes more things i don't really know anything about um do i have anything like that where you're like i don't know what they're talking about right now fairy smut you could know about that i tried no you didn't define try i willed myself you willed yourself to what to to not read them no to uh to try to remember what you were telling me uh me talking about my fairy smut books is you talking to me about jiu-jitsu absolutely well i was entertained i like i found the fairy smut books entertaining in the same way

i find sex in the city entertaining that's fair you know and and i think that's like the type of entertainment that you would i wanted to enjoy with you if you had also chosen to participate yeah because i see so many tiktoks of people's other people's boyfriends and husbands who read the books with them and then they have like really fun discussions together and they come in and they're like i read this chapter and i can't believe this happened and i'm like that could be us could be it could be i mean we do that with the the shows we watch what show have we been watching that we do that with oh house of the dragon just ended before that we watched the entirety of sex in the city we totally did all you started that though it's true yeah i miss i

still haven't seen the very first i haven't seen the pilot wait why did i do that um i don't remember if like you were talking to one of your friends about it or if you saw something about it but it's a pretty like it's such a like an iconic show that i could see you being like what's this all about because it has such a huge it's a huge franchise i remember you know i watched one of the movies on a plane one time oh really yeah and i was like this is fucking amazing i didn't even know that oh i don't know i don't remember which one it was the the first one or the second one it must have been the first one when they when big leaves her yeah because that's why i was so surprised that they like showed big like in episode one basically oh you were surprised he had been

around that long yeah i was surprised that they barely did any will they won't they in the first season relative to other shows where it was just like here's the love interest bam and you're just like oh jesus christ okay um yeah wow well because then the second one is just so offensive and racist it's like deeply intolerant um okay and then uh i have one more question um what unsolicited advice would you give me um i feel like you have a lot eat more earlier i was trying to guess what you would say and that was one of them i mean we talked about this a little bit the other day but

but i think if you had like snacks well for the listeners i'm not a breakfast eater um let me let me talk okay to you about the my food pattern that i see also me recreating yeah so like generally i'm not super hungry in the morning and especially if i'm drinking coffee i can go till like 10 30 11 without eating anything i don't even realize it especially if i'm like working and then i'm slowly feeling a tinge of hunger and then right around 10 30 11 is when everyone starts being like here's a problem that's really fucking your day up and uh now i'm like over caffeinated haven't eaten anything and all the problems are kind of flowing in from everyone getting into the office that morning and then it's just like you feel kind of scattered uh it's hard to concentrate

on like which thing to tackle first you're like i have to eat but i don't have time so if you have eaten earlier that eliminates that uh i have to eat but i don't have time urgency and also just like allows you to just focus so much easier like it's true when when ryan gosling said your your brain runs on glucose you you need that to think i didn't know ryan gosling was quoted saying that i think it's in a movie um insert the clip here i'm not gonna do that sorry listener what if i got you the clip uh you'll need to find it immediately after this okay um well my entire life i've never been a breakfast eater did you did you were you a breakfast eater growing up um i feel like i had cereal before going to school i'd also kind of graze throughout

the day in high school i didn't have a lunch period so i would just eat um in class i like i wouldn't eat breakfast i'm like if i was hungry i would eat something but for the most part i didn't eat breakfast because my stomach would hurt in class if i did um and then lunch is so fucking early because school started at like seven in the morning which is insane um and yeah by the time lunch rolled around do you want to know what i would eat for lunch sure uh i would eat little wheat thin sandwiches with peanut butter my mom would pack beans and peanut butter yeah i'd eat wheat thins and peanut butter okay and then there was definitely some other stuff in there but that's what i remember the most

would you have like apple slices and cheese um maybe i'll have to ask my mom but that was like wheat thins and peanut the main wheat thin is the worst cracker to put with peanut butter no it's nice and salty and that was the cracker we had you know uh yeah what other cracker cracker well you know infinitely better a wheat thin doesn't get like soggy or anything it doesn't crumble these were pre-peanut buttered uh-huh oh my gosh i don't know i'll ask my mom what else she would put in our lunch our lunch bags but i like the mainstay was wheat thins with peanut butter wheat thin peanut butter sandwiches how many would there be uh several you know five more than that

probably like that's a lot of manual labor for your mom putting together wheat thin sandwiches i know she's she is a saint and an angel and a goddess and um when this comes out tomorrow will be her birthday so please no one go find my mom on the internet um wish her a happy birthday this comes out tomorrow yeah so when we're done with this i am probably gonna finish this drink and maybe smoke a little bowl and edit the podcast perfect i love being high and editing the podcast because i forget what i said earlier in the week and i forget that i'm listening to to a conversation i already had so funny and i think that amelia and i are hilarious and then anytime i'm talking and i'm just like no she's like so real for that she's so right and on point with

that opinion uh and then when i when i'm sober it's just not as entertaining as it is when i'm high yeah so um maybe this maybe this is a stoner podcast this episode i mean this episode specifically could be what do you think it's certainly as scattered as a stoner podcast would be i think that this is going to be a perfectly aligned episode with the other kinds of episodes that we do because amelia and i both have adhd and we can follow along with each other no problem okay so this might seem scattered to you but i think to our our listeners who have been consistent they'll be like yeah this is a consistent episode with what we would what i've signed up for people what they want to end the episode uh i'm gonna describe you're you're gonna give a saying or not

saying a uh like a little couple phrase it's that it's that trend where you the cutesy trend where someone is like this is what we call this and then you're like oh squiggly boop and everyone's like yeah exactly that's what we're gonna do you explained it so well um this is what we call a meal that's gonna be really delicious um smamming no um it's gonna have like sauce yeah slutty i feel like something being delicious and something being slutty are not the same thing to me slutty means like it's it's somewhat unhealthy it's it's um decadent you know it's a little bit like over the top um it's got cheese it's got sauce it's got grease if something's smaming it's that's just fucking good okay okay um

well this one's gonna be i'm just curious to see what you're gonna say this is what we call a fart because there's several yeah well you got so i want to know what you're gonna guess uh i laid an egg um we used to say uh i i haunted the area i called it like a ghost yeah i can't remember how we ended up calling it that yeah like don't go over there it's haunted yeah or like i think um i think you farted and you were like it was a ghost yeah you're like was that you and i was like no that was a ghost and then we just started saying something was haunted what what else do we call a fart um i can't remember now what do you got baru oh yeah it's a b-a-r-u and the u has like the umlaut yeah it's onomatopoeia

i mean they got the brass section the brass section i don't have that on here that's funny um what what do we call grandpa the cat splonk sploof the howlin javelina um sometimes i call him grandpapa grandpapa i've never heard that um splonkasaurus um splonkas mcbonkus what's our favorite when he's being kind of crazy when he's being crazy he's just being a little gremlin what is it raccoon he looks a little bit like a raccoon uh so yeah he's being raccoon is when he's like jonesing to have whatever you're eating and he's swiping a little raccoon chomping at it he he will be sitting in your lap and you'll be in the like mid bite and he will try and swipe it

out of your your mouth swiper no swiping um what do we call a treat a trinket um what do we call what do you say when i want you to rub my feet what do you call that toes and squozing uh what do we call house of the dragon um the wagons what's the long title uh dragon tails um what do we call like dim sum or dumplings uh dumpies or fatty dumpies yeah uh what do you call gatsby when he's being crazy garbonkus what do you call both of the cats like our bonzo brothers that's good yeah um what do you say when someone gives you a big drink a big alcoholic beverage uh goodbye

what do you call an onion oh y'all um what what do you call your little routine that gets water everywhere a bird bath um when i when i wash my face in the sink i'm like i get water fucking everywhere and i didn't realize this was an issue until well once uh my friend seth was like what the fuck did you do in the bathroom but because i like that it had to it took you having to live with me mr liz will just get water all over yeah and we started calling it a bird bath well and our our countertops are like speckled yes you can't see if water's on them or anything and i'd put my phone down and i'd pick it up and it would be drenched in water and then finally i was like can

you wipe this shit up well and i always bathroom for my bird baths yeah and i i appreciate that but then that's crazy because then if i'm like wiping down the counters in there there is beard hair everywhere it is obscene oh what do we call what do we call it when uh we have to go number two uh take a large or just large and that came from that tiktok where that toddler just screams large there's a there's a tiktok of like you can't see him it's like in the hallway or something and yeah mom's just recording like the bathroom yeah she's like laughing and this kid is in the bathroom and he's like trying to push out a poop and he's like oh and he's like i got the small i got the medium and now i gotta get push out the large and then

he's like large large it's so fun i think i wonder if i have it downloaded it was like early early tiktok days four years ago uh what do we call face foch uh-huh um what what do you call uh yeah well we've used it for several things but predominantly genitals beepus yeah but we i feel like we also call random things a beepus well anything phallic is obviously a beepus uh-huh um yeah it's just when the opportunity is funny to like replace like a word replace a noun with beepus i do you have an example i can't think of one off the top of my head i feel like now we use it more for like phallic things but there were a few times where we've just been like oh my beepus and it was like you know i gotta put my wallet in my bag

yeah or something like that um do you have any uh lingo you can think of for me to guess off the top of my head um we call drinks drinky poos um what do you call something if it smells bad it's joinky yeah i had that on my list too um i like how most of these things are just like fart and poop related i was telling amelia about them like a while back and i was like yeah a lot of these are like fart related but we have the same sense of humor i come from a very fart positive family i mean i believe in being fart positive uh we actually introduced that concept to amelia who then introduced the concept to the internet um she was like these are couples i think

these are famous couples i think are fart positive who were they i don't remember she makes a lot of tiktoks yeah i need to be a better friend and memorize all of them that's true anything uh any sage words of wisdom for the listeners before we go yeah if you're going to your first jujitsu class do not do not just throw your hand out to stop yourself from falling because you will jam your thumb and then it's going to hurt for the following three to four months and maybe never feel the same again did that happen to you yes does your thumb still hurt uh-huh really yep maybe you should go to the doctor about that it'll fix itself um amelia's not here so we don't have anyone to sing the outro and we can probably get grandpa to sing

a little bit. Okay. Gramps is going to sing it. It's fine. Just agitating the bean. He's just happy. He's just happy to be getting attention. Psst. Thank you.