The Hoely Hour - E201 Yapception (Pt. II)

Episode Date: September 27, 2024

We finally cringed our way to the end of our first ever episode, and ultimately are so grateful we’ve grown up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

all right okay so we realized that we got through a good 18 minutes of our very first episode we do be yapping so we're gonna try and yap a little less to our dismay yeah but i think to to be fair i think the episode will pick up a little bit more that's really really confident and optimistic of you to assume i mean we were getting drunker as we recorded so that's to say that's true all right and i have cracked myself another beer but i think yeah at this time i was we i was drinking like double triple drinks i think i was over my nausea at this point too so we were like in our vibing fucking bag well and i want to get to like the tea of it all you know yeah to find our original enemy of the pod reese oh fucking reese

have i shown you what he looks like now i'm sure i did back then i bet you did back then but i would like to know again as a reminder let's let's post it for the followers oh let's post it for the listeners let's dox him okay yeah i'll post it to dress along as a tree yeah it's as a as a 201st episode treat you guys get to dox reese original enemy of the pod numero uno was he he had to have been number one yeah he was number one damn wow first enemy of the pod what a what a moment for him first of all he really made it yeah good for him good for you reese wow what a claim to fame all right should we dive in yeah so to give a little recap of where we're at i had just started talking about um some boring fucker that I had an aggressive makeout with and he left my

face red so that's where we're just diving back into um yeah and you guys don't need to hear me talk any more than you already will Frank listened to last week's episode and he was like Liz dated a neck beard in high school with a patty cap pre-neck beard he was like a neck beard early adopter yeah he was like a that i don't know what you call it yeah he had he had a neck beard attitude but here's the thing when someone's a teenager and they have a neck beard attitude you're like well maybe they'll grow out of that you know yeah and i haven't talked to him in like tenure so who's to say what he's like now well but wishing you the best patty cap wishing him fewer patty caps more patty you know what he also had one of those beanies with a brim no no no i

knew i knew what you were about to say those were the worst i loved it i thought it was so cute i liked the kid the kid an elf who also had one oh my god i'm talking about yeah i do if mr liz came home with one of those what was your first those but what if he did if he came home and wore it legitimately yeah unironically i'd be like so this is a new fashion decision yeah that you've made like make him keep it on during sex the hat stays on except except the beanie with the brim leave my beanie brim hat alone leave my hat out of this okay let's dive in all right welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on

instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com like he was so aggressively making out with me and like his beard was rubbing it was like oh god the chafing yeah so i like i was like hold on i have to go to the bathroom i went to the bathroom and i was looking at myself in the mirror with this like bright red oh my god my face is like bright red and I like around my mouth just like from his beard and I was like looking myself in the eyes and I was just like I don't

want to fucking do this and I'm like a 27 year old adult woman like I don't want to fuck this guy and then I went back to his room and then I was like I was like I don't want to hook up and then he was like what who was this i'm not i don't want this was a guy that i met at santa con that is the most chaotic way to meet someone yeah i met him at santa con he was like 22 i didn't know that when i made out with him but that doesn't when you're 27 like 22 yeah i mean he graduated college yeah he did tell me he went to college um for what's the fucking game you play on the horses polo yeah yeah so he's a horse girl he went to college and then we started watching secretariat i think we gotta rewind a little bit he went to

college like he made like he majored in polo no he had a polo scholarship that is the most uppity shit i've ever heard i almost called it horse quidditch that is basically what it is i mean wait that's kind of changed my mind i don't think i've ever met i have british family i don't think i've ever met anyone that plays polo well i was gonna say he didn't come from money oh uh but then I'm like how the fuck did you get like time in playing polo enough that you were able to get a scholarship for it you have to have some privilege there yeah it doesn't right I was gonna say it's polo isn't a sport that you just like it's not like basketball that you can just like play in a park with your friends you have to have access to a horse and polo equipment which

isn't just other fucking kids playing polo like yeah I don't know I have some I have some follow up questions i feel like he came from money now i'm like maybe he was lying yeah and like what a fascinating lie to tell people well you know maybe he's insecure about it i had a polo scholarship oh wait no is no polo is in the water right water polos in the water i'm just gonna jump out the window now that's water quidditch hook up right now and then um he kind of sat there and i was like are you mad and he's like i mean i'm a little frustrated and i was like you're not allowed to be mad at me oh liz well i mean i'm like i'm gonna i'm a fucking adult like i've hooked up with enough

guys where i've like i'm like you're not allowed to make me feel bad about not wanting to hook up with you um and then he was like no you're right but good i'm like okay listen you little 22 year old fuck don't say that to anybody else yeah this is gonna be the only you're not allowed to tell girls that she they're giving you blue balls yeah right like i'm like a little frustrated yeah for 30 minutes and it wasn't good and now i'm blue balls like dick sore like i'll make it even more sore that's real though also i mean all of the guys dick and balls are not the same thing amelia i i'm not i mean not a bad call because i've had you know my mistakes here and there but like a lot of the people that i'm like intentional about like having a sexual

relationship with like they are all men that would never want to make me feel like they're i'm being pressured into anything and i've had this conversation with a lot of them but even still if like i'm over at their place and i'm like i don't i'm not really like in the mood i still end up feeling bad yeah same yeah and like why is this inherent guilt of like i don't want it's like yeah you're just somehow um subconsciously taught like oh it's your job to make your man happy yes and and then also you're like he's not my man yes oh my god i know there's this like internal like like dialogue about okay let's okay okay we can we see that was a one we still be doing that yeah that's a good stuff yeah oh my god okay okay oh i like this one

where on your body is your favorite place to be touched oh oh that's a really good i don't understand it was our fourth host you wouldn't excuse me sir no one asked you for anyone typical man to insert himself i remember being so proud of that joke that my it's a good one thank you um my my dot started talking to us because he thought we were talking to him and i have it as a man's voice because i like telling a man what to do it's the best thing in the world it's so smart it turns me on i wonder if i can change my alexa to be a you probably it gets me going um okay my favorite place to be touched um i really like like having lines traced on my back no matter what the scenario is

back tickles like really get me out of the gates you know what i mean um but also my neck like i okay two things but jumping back a little bit me being like yeah i don't know i'm very intentional about who i have sex with it was such a fucking lie at that point in my life I was so on into I was having sex with anyone a b a lot of them were making me feel like shit for not wanting to have sex with them so I don't know who the fuck I was trying to protect see tracing lines on my back was something that my ex would say like that was like his phrase and it's wild to look back on it and be like remembering this time of your life well like that's I don't think that that's like when you're just like tickling someone's back have you ever

called it tracing lines on someone's back no i say tickle my back yeah it's a weird phrase so it's just weird it's like oh yeah i was still like canoodling with this person and that was the number one thing that i was sad about when we broke up i was like he's gonna be tracing no it was like he's gonna be giving back tickles with someone else tracing lines on someone else's back which is crazy to think about because he's also giving them trauma certainly he's just tracing the word trauma on their back yeah i used to be very good at uh figuring out letters oh i love that game and now i can't do it i don't know why i i'm i can't really do it anymore you're too lost in the sauce maybe mr liz's like his now his handwriting's not bad i'm like if it were bad that

would make sense yeah who knows one of the mysteries of life well i do have to say what the people that you were having sex with who were making you feel bad not including your ex do you think that maybe you just didn't have as high of expectations as you do now of how you wanted to be treated because of frank probably yeah it yeah because i'm like maybe at that time you did think that was they weren't like as shitty as they are maybe because you didn't have this other better thing to compare it to yeah I'm certain that that has something to do but also like I hadn't like casually hooked up with anyone until that point like a few months prior to us recording this so I think I just didn't know like what the decorum was of like after a few casual

hookups is when you get a better gauge of like that person's probably not going to be very nice to me yeah I mean like you were in the trenches for a lot of that with me like there were a lot of dudes that were not very nice to me but i was like he's fine he means well but it's like i think once you have a few experiences under your belt he's just trying to pressure me to have unprotected sex with him even though he has herpes yeah oh my god we can get into that closer to the end holy shit i can't i always forget about that guy until facebook is like do you want to add this person and it's him every time that's so funny bizarre he's still on the prowl he's still on facebook which is almost as bad as the prowl that's what we call herpes now is the prowl

there's something about like the on the neck like right behind the ear kind of scenario region i know exactly what you mean really gets me going i don't know it's like really more than i'm trying to think and i don't think that there's really anywhere else that i like to be touched like yeah i think like centrally attached yeah for me okay so like you were saying i'm like enough about you what about me that's all a podcast is really middle area but now we have a conversation we're different we're not like other podcasts no we're not like other girls kind of like make your way up to the top of his ear i stand by this i remember the first time a guy did that to me i was like what the fuck what's happening yeah

because no one's ever like put their mouth so that's like this very sensitive place because no one ever touches it like let alone like you know put their their their teeth and their tongue on it and i would say that area like right under your boob yes on your rib cage oh that's a good full fire spot no one's ever touching that besides your bra like that is where i'm like oh my god no one ever touches that spot and like the only thing that touches that spot is like an underwire bra yep and you're like god i hate this that's so true the total opposite of that is just like someone delicate she's so right she's so who is this girl the first time that ever happened who is she god i would fucking blow my mind yeah i'm just really like right there insanely ticklish

and then the ear oh i'm ticklish too i feel like when you're in it you're like like if i'm like super turned on i'm like you could tickle me and i i won't even feel it like god bless you i like really it's it can ruin a moment real quick like i will kick someone off just by a reflex i hate being tickled i don't know what the fuck she's talking about i'll fight you motherfucker what you my babysitter like why are you trying to tickle me oh Amelia are you ticklish wait but that is true no matter what you say they're gonna fucking tick that's so true when the questions ask this game over yeah yeah like are you ticklish right like well if I say no you're gonna try and tickle me and if I say yes then you're gonna tickle me that's so true I was

gonna say the only type of person the more i was listening to us talk about this the type of person that's like are you ticklish is a fucking creepy person they're looking for an excuse to touch you and there's no way out of this other than if you just straight up like punch them in the throat yeah that's so true if someone tries to tickle you non-consensually just karate chop them in the throat yeah hit their carotid yeah and run away game over that's so that's so true like nothing good ever follows are you ticklish it's the same type of person who's like where's my hug 100 percent is are you ticklish you're so right oh i hate it are you loud or quiet during sex oh i'm quiet really yeah i'm super quiet uh like as i get older i get more comfortable with making

like noise when i want to when i like when it's just feels natural and comfortable but i'm not loud at all i can't believe my parents listen to this episode to you before and i'm sure we'll like expand on this once we have like an episode dedicated around this but i mute porn well now i don't watch porn at all and yeah i don't listen to porn i'm better than everyone i just like do skip past all like the exposition yeah I don't need I don't need context okay but also like you know like the first few times you watch porn like you're like sharing a living space with other people or something like your parents your parents you don't want them to hear that you're watching she said that like if you have um like roommates maybe not like a direct room but in general you

don't want people to know you're listening to porn or watching porn but yeah now I listen to porn and like now I'm kind of thankful for it because I don't have any expectations like oh I'm supposed to sound like this when I'm having sex with a guy oh god oh I can't wait for our porn episode I have so many thoughts about that I just like to let it like happen naturally I think maybe previously like you know this is so funny to listen back to because this was when we were like planning out our episodes in advance it's like this one's gonna have a topic and a theme and now we're just like hey want to hear about a thing i watched on tv i did zero research but here are all my thoughts about it

that's so funny if anyone wants to quote me for an academic paper i have opinions we like had a trello board and everything we were like organized i still use it we still use the trello sometimes passwords yeah and note taking on the rare occasion that we need to be taking notes that's true okay one of us uses the trello i mean mostly for passwords yeah yeah i mean maybe we should delete that trello is not safe that's true i don't really know what people would do if they could log into our check out our analytics yeah they're pretty spicy yeah there's not really a lot of money involved so i think uh i i don't think there would be an easy way for them to take the the few bucks that's so sad the pocket change yeah damn well anyways

f's in the chat f's in the chat fam um in my early 20s i was probably maybe like too quiet and like too like oh don't make any sound you can do whatever you want just be quiet like don't make any sound and then now you know as an adult i'm like i'm gonna say i'm gonna say what i want to say bitch and like try and get out of my own head about it and like no i would orgasm and be like i'm done get off me please yeah yeah exactly i'd be like i'm gonna be super porny yeah yeah i like oh god i can't um i'm very loud in bed yeah i know are you still really loud i first started having sex i was like because i started watching porn at a pretty early age not like a child but like pretty early on and like i've never watched it on you yeah i was a child

what sex sounded like you know and I when I got older and old enough to identify like the the choices that I was making like in bed and why I was making them that was one of the questions that I had was like am I being loud because I think that the person that I'm with wants to hear it and and now that I've paid attention to it that's 100% not the case because I'm I'm like pretty I'm pretty vocal um and I also in every aspect of my life the guy that I'm having sex with to also be vocal still true I'm feeling like I'm very audio about it you know they don't make a lot of noise they need to be making more noise no i want to be like i feel like that's like a an insecurity thing you're having a good time i think you're right if you need to just like

earmuff it be expressive yeah yeah so yeah i don't know i've just always been like pretty pretty loud and like i don't even when i'm trying to not be i have a hard time being quiet about it so well and you shouldn't have to feel like oh i need to be quiet because it makes this person yeah it's like go fuck yourself i need to focus yeah could you be quiet i'm trying to focus on my ear it's just the beginning of the focus face oh my god oh my god that's that's so interesting that we're total opposites i know i know when you said that you're quiet i was well i guess alternatively like i don't know how this is for you but like growing up like i didn't want anybody to know if i had a crush i like i love

this conversation i didn't want my crush to know but i didn't want anybody to know like i would have died from embarrassment if they knew i liked them which is so like stupid now because as an adult i'm like as an adult i'm like hey i like you and like if like i don't know if you don't like me then like let's not talk anymore yeah yeah yeah like i'm not wasting my time yeah but i'm pretty like open with my feelings and thoughts as an adult which is the total opposite of how i was as a kid which was just like oh my god i will die of total embarrassment if you know i like you or if anyone knows i like you because if they know that i like you you might find out yeah yeah it's like so stressful to have a crush yeah no that's interesting because i was the complete

opposite so that's like oh you like that totally like i like you bitch i was i would tell everybody and that's how reese came up like somebody that's so cute it was so fucking it got me and so i got bullied a lot oh because you had crush yes and then like the guys that i would have crushes on would like be such assholes about it because like they were always trying to like impress their friends the one of the dudes that i was talking about in this episode i ended up making out with at my high school reunion i was gonna say was is he the bully he was he was the one of them yeah he was actually the source of like a lot of issues for me i mean if i doubt he's listening no to this but like the story of after you guys made out did you talk about that at all he asked

me not to oh well i'm like damn we should probably respect that yeah i guess i mean he asked you not to he didn't ask me anything that's true so we're in a little bit of moral gray area right now but yeah i'm just gonna all i'll say is he got very clingy really quickly with emilia yeah interestingly enough it was uh the weekend of our 100th episode party oh wow everything really comes full circle truly does truly does anyway i hope he's doing well i hope he's a little more mentally stable yeah i'm sure he is i mean he wasn't a bad guy we changed we changed a lot in four years he truly he wasn't a bad guy he was just a little overbearing and 14 year old me was like fucking lit on it you know yeah i was like oh i'm having to turn i mean i mean like

what a movie moment it's so romey and michelle of you to make out with your high school bully it felt beautiful thank you thank you so much and you did it for the plot and that's what matter sometimes yeah and i was never popular like growing up so that was also like it's kind of like the punching bag in the sense but i had this crush on this guy i don't even care to say like his name was reese and i had a big reese he's so beautiful well he sounds like a cunt wow i will fuck your shit up i will fuck up your little sixth grade ass i still would yeah listening like am i the reese it's you no one else's name reese you little motherfucker wow he is violent i have a poster of him under my bed and like a poster i

had like a full helga like hey arnold i can't believe i told this story at this point i loved this this is the most fascinating story literally lived under my bed and i Liz I told people about it like it's enough to have it and have it just be for me first of all why do I need that like what what am I gonna do why why not I mean he's not like Justin Bieber I just had this poster to bring the poster to school I wish I still had it about it and like I wasn't like I have this poster of Reese underneath my bed like please don't tell anyone I was just like I have this fucking poster of Reese underneath my bed and it spread really really quick of course it did of course because what else are seventh graders gonna talk about

you know like that is some drama i would tell people if i heard that my friend had a poster i have this poster of reese under my bed well it sounds made up yeah that is the equivalent of a seventh grade masturbating you're like i don't know how to get this like feeling out of my body so i'm gonna make to cut out photos of them yeah I mean oh my god like I don't know how to touch myself so I made a poster print out these goddamn pictures and cut them with like the little squiggly scissors yes oh my god put a little glitter glue on that bitch yeah I don't know at what point this transition happened I also don't know if I said it in

this episode and I just missed it but I'm for some time it lived underneath Katie's bed my best friend Katie and I don't and she lived not in Washington so that means I flew on like a commercial jetliner or with you yeah I mean maybe you were like this is my crush and now he can be your crush I don't know like why did I you were sharing your culture it's like toothbrush toothpaste chargers poster of reese pajamas shoes like i don't need no that literally around that sounds like something that kids make up they're like did you know that amelia has a poster of him under her bed i'd be like as a kid you'd be like oh my god and then as an adult you'd be like that wasn't true and i hope that the people at your elementary school have a flashback to this and

they're like i wonder what amelia samson's doing and they find this episode and they're like oh my god it was true it was true I think you what if you made a TikTok story about this I should I wish I still had it that would that would be really full circle I mean it's probably a really good thing that you don't because that would be a little yeah I would have I think um I think being able to show it I don't know I would like to see a picture of the poster do you remember what color it was now well no but I do remember that it like wasn't like I didn't have enough pictures of him to make it like like a well built out poster so it just had like a bunch of gaps and then just like random little printout pictures of him but it wasn't did it say anything on it it didn't

necessitate the whole poster board it had his name i want to know the creative direction of the reese poster there was it had his name reese uh-huh uh-huh i remember it was i wrote reese in like squiggly letters that's hilarious i was gonna say is it like bubble letters no it like there was no artistic integrity put into this poster but i so that's one thing no artistic integrity and like what was my rationale that's what i would like to know too like was it like i this is something that i would see in a movie no like a little acute like coming of age rom-com because that would be a thing you know i don't remember i wish i remembered my thought process but that would just it probably wouldn't make me feel better i wish that i could go back in time

and give you a locket with little picture a picture of him and a picture of you that would have been more appropriate you could have had both but i was i was i remember i probably say this in this episode too i remember the first time i saw him it was like a movie moment like i was in art class and there were people in front of me there are people in front of me between me and him and then they walked different directions and reese was standing behind them and the sun is coming in the window the heavens opened up and there was reese i'm just imagining um justin baby playing and i was like baby baby baby or um have you seen the snl skit when that justin bieber's in when he's like pretty young no i don't maybe um he like sings to tina fey

so i don't know i just am imagining a moment like that yeah yeah that was it was i i recall it being in slow motion you know what i mean i'm imagining it in slow motion too i don't even know what reese looks like but in my head he now looks like young jesse he looked a lot like him oh he yeah he had like long like the skater hair you know oh i oh i know i loved the skater hair yeah he he was uh he was a cutie he still looks exactly the same too there's just nothing that hits like you know like a fucking middle school crush yeah when you're just like you see a chubby little kid with flippy hair and you're like oh my god that is the hottest guy I've ever seen hot with two t's uh-huh it was hot with two t's too absolutely I'm pretty sure that was on the poster

Reese is hot with two t's yeah just that full sentence and that's it that's it oh my god so yeah no i was always kind of um i was kind of open about who i had crushes on growing up and so funny i think that that's kind of translated to how we're so we're so similar and have had such similar experiences but like handled them completely differently yes i talked i actually was talking to my therapist about like our friendship yeah and i was like yeah i love talking about stuff because i talked to you to my therapist we've had such similar experiences growing up but dealt with them so differently like i know i've mentioned to you like my way of dealing with like tough feelings that's because your parents were emotionally available

and that was just my quote just to be this angry tough girl like i did not cry very much until i was probably like 23 and up wow like i just would not cry if i did it was a very rare and special occasion of just like yeah i'm gonna listen i fucking love crying it feels so good cry alone in my room there was this one time where so my best friend and like she was my roommate at the time too i like i had just driven back up from vegas hashtag coldplay cry i went to college i got the coldplay cry um i had an instagram post about that in the zone but i like was feeling really emotional and i was playing coldplay while i was putting my shit away and unpacking my suit case and then I just sat down at my desk and then I put my head down and I just start crying

and then she walks by and she's like hey are you listening to coldplay I'm crying that was her exact delivery yeah and she like didn't even blink she sat down on my bed and she's like oh girl I've been there and then like acted like I wasn't even crying and we were just like talking like I'm like I wasn't crying and she's like yeah how are you feeling what's going oh my god she was just like immediately in it like she's like oh i've done that who hasn't yeah the cold like cry i'm going to her bachelorette party this weekend wow yeah i knew that's the song i knew that that was the song yeah no one did say it was gonna be easy but no one told me it was gonna be this far

no one told me it was a banger of a line 22 want a boyfriend and no one wants to date me to be fair you were emotionally unstable do you still cry at Coldplay? I'm sorry from 2020 no I just always think of that moment that was formative now I feel like now when I listen to Coldplay

my heart swells because I think of Anna shout out to Anna she's like gonna be the first one listening she's like I remember that day well because we still reference it we're like yep the cold play cry the cold play cry hashtag yeah hashtag cold play we're we know that we have maybe like five listeners at this point but hashtag cold play

let's get a trending guys hashtag cold play cry cold play is like yeah that's why we made our music it's for you to cry too all right ladies oh yeah how high is your sex drive um okay we wrapped it up it really depends because some days i feel like i'm like rearing to go and some days that's called ovulation you know this is before i learned about all of the phases of the spectrum but yeah i guess it depends on the day and i don't really know what determines it your cycle i can't really track my cycle anymore because i don't have a period because i have an iud so i've been trying to figure out like what is it is it like what i've eaten for the day that i'm like but it's it's interesting because it's it's tough because sometimes if i've been

hooking up with somebody consistently and i get to their house one day and like they try to like instigate and i'm just like no they're like what like is everything okay because i feel like for like a lot of well guys don't have a cycle they don't it's it's like they're yeah a lot of the later i mean i think there's been an instance that i can think of that i've been hooking up with a guy and they're like i'm not really in the mood to have sex and it's been like very emotionally charged like if they had like a loss or like they had like a bad day at work like i totally but for me the moment and i didn't want to talk about this thing because i wasn't talking about my ex during this phase of the podcast fuck up publicly what'd you say fuck him fuck him i

said it very weird though i said it like a witch but when i what i was referencing at this part was my ex would always like be like i don't want to have sex today when he was hiding something from me so and this isn't i don't want i don't want to try to say this is the case for everyone that would be so traumatizing the first two times i didn't know and then i started piecing it together and then every time he didn't want to have sex after that i knew something was up which is all you know kind of unfair to him at the end of i mean he's the one that did it but like also sometimes maybe he just like wasn't in the mood to have sex but he had traumatized me so um yeah that was like a little bit of work for me to get yeah like it's okay to not be in the

mood yeah but to also do it when you're hiding something it was it's almost like he was feeling ashamed and then wanted to deflect that shame onto you yeah by being like i don't want to have sex and then having something that he was hiding from you and then now that's how you interpret it every time because then it makes you scramble and then be like i don't want something wrong and now i gotta fix something and yeah and now i don't want to have sex but now i do want to have sex because you don't want to have sex and now i have to prove something to myself and fix the situation i'm just going into a no it's true doom spiral it was a continuous doom spiral and when my brain was still forming oh my god so yeah finding out the first two times no one should date until

they're 27 yeah yeah i mean that's a good campaign to run on just make out for fun and yeah don't fall in love with hold hands somebody at 18 you know i'm very thankful i don't have a boyfriend in college i mean i did for the first two years but he also went to a different school so it was like yeah he doesn't go here yeah well i know i'm like oh i could have totally slutted it out those first few years there were so many people i like had a crush on i should not have been in a relationship yeah girl same and he was slutting it up so i should have been slutting it up too anyway carrying on it's not like situational i cannot trace it to something it's just like some days i want to have sex and some days i don't and like we were talking about before like

I don't want to be made to feel bad about it like if I'm feeling like I don't know like I'll just like go down on you and then we can like call it a day you know what I mean I don't need it to be a whole thing sometimes I'm in the in the mood sometimes I'm not and I don't know Amelia's face right now is like the fuck guys want answers for why no it's not I don't know what I was talking about me right it's like it's not always about you you're making my sex drive about you it's typical no but really it's so true like i think that and if there are any guys listening like please understand that your cycle can determine your sex drive yes i would say my the height of my sex drive depends on my partner um i had this insatiable sex drive like with this guy i was

dating in college like my senior year that was the best sex of my life like wow everything was so good and perfect about it i knew no matter who was it like no he was gonna get me oh i was gonna get him off like it we had that level of trust where it was just like i had like the sex was so good and i knew no matter what i'm gonna take my headphones off so you know it's the guys who don't wear shoes that have the best day so that was like the best the highest sex drive i've had but i like that i didn't explain that i would probably have that same kind of sex drive if i had like that doesn't wear shoes yeah like yeah we're gonna have amazing sex because i know that he's gonna make sure i get off yeah like when we would have sex um he was not nice to me down on me

whoa in the middle so so we would like start that is a good play though it was just like yeah like both of us were really into it we would make sure like we were both feeling good and then didn't he hit you up after listening this episode yeah it was amazing so now listening to it again i feel very uncomfortable i'm imagining him listening to me talking about me yeah when we would have sex the best what a giver he was a king no he broke my heart no not a king because i was stigmatized i think he broke my heart just because that was the best sex i've ever had oh god and that's so hard to find something imagine being a man hearing this if he ever

listens to this he's probably it's probably carried him for the last four years i popped that ego as soon as like anywhere like to the grocery store oh yeah you had this will definitely give it away but he's like a musician and like when he would perform he wasn't wearing shoes that's kind of sexy i kind of like that vibe like frodo bag i was thinking more like father john misty but like frodo he's like fucking frodo no shoes just like jamming out yeah okay so then like i would get off and then like he would like still be hard and then you're like damn i am a vixen uh-huh and i was like yes

i want this to be over it really does depend on the person i guess i never really like i think that i've had such people that like it doesn't i haven't had like feels like cheating listening to the relationship so i don't it's hard to tie it back to like is it the person or is it how i'm feeling that day like it's it's really it's it's tough to recognize if it's like a situational thing or if it's a me thing it's hard to know like i don't know it's a really good question that hard about it either i guess yeah like i when i think about it now i think it comes down to how empowered i feel so like girl power hell yeah like i knew no matter what it was going to be super comfortable we were both going to make sure we get the other person off because

we both enjoy that yeah and i think like that's the key to having phenomenal sex making sure both of you are caring about the other person like climaxing write that down yes write that stand by that like very rare occasions where one of us would knock it off but then like the next day it would be like yeah let's like have morning sex or something or like yeah we just both would be down for it it was never there was never I never felt pressured that's awesome me too that was I think that is don't perceive me in the morning like it's very hard for me to get out of my own head but it was um that was like a relationship where it was very easy for me to get out of my head because i never felt like relationships a strong word for what yes and a

lot of guys have i've felt like that maybe it's not intentional but like i think a lot of men are really selfish in bed oh yeah don't even get me started yeah and then you're like if we're having sex for you i was fucking at this point yes like i want to yeah effort here totally it's like i start to feel like i'm just like a vessel you know it's like i could really just not be here like I yeah if I feel like do you need me for this exactly it's like I feel like if I could be easily switched out for somebody else and I'm sure like if there's guys listening it's like well you kind of like could could be because that's because kind of how it is for a lot of men I think is like if they want to have sex they're just gonna have sex for me like I want to if I

feel like me being there does not make a difference it is the most dehumanizing experience I hooked up with a guy and I'm sure I'll talk about this on a later episode so I won't go like too far into detail with it but i hooked up with a guy and he literally before he put it in he was like this won't take long i forgot about him i wanted to take long like what do you mean like you are not determining the length of this long it was the least that's like supposed to make you like into it it felt very it sounded like he was about to kill me and it was a one-minute stand so i didn't he was like he's like on top of me and he almost put it in without putting a condom on and i'm like without even asking me if he could do that so like his whole thing was like yeah he never

washed his sheets he probably never washed his beepers and like that was it oh my god i know and you know in his head he was probably like oh she's so fucking hot like that i just can't even like yeah it's like i'm just gonna burst it's gonna be literally two pumps yeah that's it uh so my ex-boyfriend told me this where i was just like yeah i'm so fucking annoyed when guys like are like yeah i'm just gonna stick it in you and don't even like pause to be like i'm gonna get a condom to see like well they should do that anyways but like to just not even be like yeah hold on let me go get a condom or if you're like do you have a condom and they're like no and then you're like okay we're not we're not gonna have sex and then they're like oh i have a condom yeah

i called your bluff motherfucker well anyways but like um i'm like could i laugh at my own jokes any harder just kidding i do today or like go to go get one and he was like well some girls think that like you think they're dirty if you go to get a condom and i was like i think the direct opposite yeah i well and then that was in vegas so i'm like do vegas girls just like think stupidly like that of like oh well boo boo liz that was not very girl boss of me which is like not the case at all like when i'm like we grow like when a guy goes to get our other girl's just stupid you're being full of my body like we haven't had this conversation about or like sexual partners yet but we're in the moment like and you're gonna offer to get a

condom like that's excellent 100 yeah oh after this i say excellent like 20 times i say 100 i'm like oh my god you think that i'm i'm a slut because you're getting a condom and i like i would like to de-stigmatize that right now like if a guy is gonna go get a condom i'm like fuck yeah you're being so respectful of my body we haven't had a conversation about birth control yet like whatever like yes please get a condom he's so respectful thinking about my safety oh my god you did the bare minimum yeah our standards i think you kind of touched on this but not even like entertaining the idea of going and grabbing a condom is offensive because like i don't know

where you've been and like i'm not saying you're dirty but me asking you to put on condoms how i feel about how many people you've been with or anything like that it's like you might not know i don't know the last time you've been tested yeah you don't know my birth control situation for like a lot of hookups it's like you just don't you there's no way that they know that i i have birth control method so it's like i just i'm proud of how much we me too respect thing thank you fucking god can you imagine if we still talked like this about like how i'm feeling about like i would have no friends i can't believe that we like you don't want to use a condom like we understand with the microphone in front of us a little bit that's crazy with a condom on but it

doesn't feel that different and i've heard that from a lot of my guy friends that it doesn't feel that different of course it's going to feel a little bit better without but i don't give a fuck like yeah like i really don't because like my safety and your safety coconut oil baby yeah there are ways that we can make this work for both natural antibacterial properties interesting it's good for the coochie you actually i don't know if that's true i feel like it would attract maggots or my skin terrible and i don't want to have bad skin or be fucking depressed so did you hear that when they were this could be again a whole other it's the most horrifying thing you've ever said i don't think

i've ever seen you make that thing dropped out because a new expression unlock control and it's like well you little fucking that's all y'all go through when i first got on the pill i was depressed for two years yeah and and when i got when i stopped taking it i gradient gradiented out of that depression that it was still very much so tied to the pill. It's awful. Are you on Prozac yet? Nope. I'm sorry that it doesn't feel as good on your dick

to be wearing a condom, but at least you don't have acne and depression as a result of your birth control method, and that's on that. I mean, that is true. And that's on hormones, motherfucker. And that's on estrogen. One more thing.

So when I was in a long-term relationship, When we would have sex. He would be such a little fucking twat about using a condom. He was a twat. That's the fucking worst. You have no shoe man and now you have shoe man. I'm sensing a theme. Okay, so we'll call him shoe man.

Shoe man was such a little fuck about using a condom, but I would track my cycle. So I would be like, these are the days that we can't have sex because it's a higher likelihood that I'll get pregnant. but we were also pulling out but he would be such a little bitch about pulling out too i'm like i'm already letting you not use a condom and like even after we broke up like this is just like part of why our relationship was so toxic but even after we broke up he's like i understand how like disrespectful that was of me to like put all this responsibility on you yeah you don't fucking say yeah where i'm the one who's thinking about like i don't want to get pregnant and we're not in a place for us to handle that right now like and he would like while we were having sex he'd be like

i just want you to get pregnant and like yeah now i'm like and then he'd be like he'd be like oh my god and then like i would say like because you know you're in the moment you're like come inside me and then he'd be like wait really and i'd be like no motherfucker i'm you told me to say that right now i'm like you gave me a script i'm following the script and then you'd be like like real life wait no no the answer is never i'm not like unless we are married and legitimately trying to have children i'm never going to say that and mean it like it was so fucking annoying it was annoying um yeah just pull the fuck out pull out it's what's felt either pull out or use a condom bitch yeah and those are your options and you're gonna be fine yeah like your world

is not going to fall apart that's irritating i'm so sorry no he really acted like into like it wasn't yeah he made it entirely my responsibility but i think that's fucking crazy i don't know his life anymore but i think his therapist was like that's fucked up of you of like i hope his therapist said some more stuff yeah certainly they did after we broke up and there were a few notes awful volatile breakup he's like coming forward i would like to give some feedback yeah is this an open forum truth be told he probably always knew them yeah so yeah chose to ignore them because it was exactly it was fit his kind of yeah because he's like i want to come yeah and that's the most important thing to him and that's why i hated having sex

with him i hated having sex with the shoe man i would close my eyes and imagine something else so was he girl and that's how i would get off you would pretend you were somewhere else i would pretend the sex was better and i was doing something different was it always that way like the dishes or oh my god that's the saddest year that sucks no it's true though i really did dick is very boring it's like wonder bread oh god a lot of things about him were like wonder bread he's the sandwich it wasn't that bad sandwich with mayo and white bread your dick is boring as fuck every guy you've dated is thinking like how could i be shit like what is it about my life that makes my name shoe man everybody is trying to figure out if it's

is it me my shoe man it's not you you'll know it's you if you're listening he's gonna like Yeah, if he ever listens to it and is like, I'm Shuman, I hope he's just like, oh, no. I don't know. Well, then he'll be like, well, you just laid there. He probably did. He stopped me for a long time. He was starfished because I wanted to pretend I was somewhere else. God, that sucks.

I was imagining I was with no Shuman. Oh, yeah. That's also true. I was imagining I was with Mr. Frodo. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Frodo. Father John Misty. Yeah, Father John Misty.

Father John Frodo. but god sex is so like so i'm gonna say this probably every single time we talk but sex is so important in a relationship like i feel like everything else could be really great and if the sex is bad it's it feels like kind of like petty but it's not like sex is such a huge part of the i don't think that's petty amelia such a huge part of relationships be kinder to yourself sexually then i'm not going to want to have sex with you and then you are going to be upset about it and sex and money are the two biggest uh points of contention in a relationship as they should be yeah maybe not money well like when it comes to divorce

it took me a while to get to that stance as well like um i would look at everything else besides sex i'd be like okay he has a good job um i like his family he has good friends like so those were the things where i'm like oh this is what defines a good partner and i wasn't really still think that's true yeah um which is shocking considering my past but um of like wanting to like i mean but i learned how to pleasure myself so i'm like and i'll just look at a vibrator in between i'll just jerk my penis no but yeah i think now as an adult i'm like oh my god the sex is the same all the time if we're just hitting the same moves and like it's kind of expected i'm just not really into it anyways this is a great place to end our first that was a good bow to put on that

episode which is about good for us it's okay we'll chop it down yeah we will try to make this as quick as possible um but just like your boyfriend zing we're your boyfriends now yeah that was the episode title at the time that's the name of the movie title drop damn well good for us we really did uh talk about sex i sure did and honestly it feels like a like a billboard introduction to sex like hey do you have sex we have a podcast for you it really was uh oh it was rough we were and at the time we were like we're not gonna be like call her daddy but like we kind of were trying to be i think it was slightly less pandering

to men than call her daddy but i wouldn't say it was like yeah aware yeah yeah yeah it feels like we were there was there was a little bit more in that we were like you should have protected sex yeah and your orgasm is important and yeah absolutely that's so true it was a little more like female empowering somebody was like you guys are like if the call her daddy girls went to therapy and i have been introducing our podcast to new people that exact way like yeah call her daddy well even even um even call her daddy i well i know that the hosts aren't friends anymore and i haven't really listened to either of those podcasts but i do know peripherally that like people have said that they've grown up and matured a lot i love that

and i i think that's just kind of how it goes yeah and when you end up like having a sex podcast you learn a lot about dating and relationships and sex and everything that is related to it like including like consent and things about birth control and your cycle and complications and I don't know there's just a lot of things that come with it that we probably wouldn't know if we didn't have this podcast I was just about to say that so it did it did kind of um I would say having this podcast radicalized me in a lot of ways yeah um just I think then I would have considered myself a feminist I probably would have even considered myself an intersectional feminist but there was a lot that I didn't know and I'm glad that I had the space to grow and

learn and i also got to grow and learn with you yeah and i think that even though it is really cringy i think that we should normalize um learning and changing and changing your mind and and growing because if you're not if you're not changing you're not learning you're not growing yeah absolutely i think um yeah this is a good testament to that yeah i agree no i agree with everything that you said I think that this gave us a forum to grow in a way that I don't think a lot of people have the opportunity to because like we had to like do research and we had to like listen to people in a way that was like oh it's important for us to understand what we're talking about yeah and it also just like made me so much more comfortable just like in my

everyday life same just like I talk about the most intimate shit on a podcast like yeah I felt like I could talk to anyone about anything and I still do like whenever anyone talks to me about like sex or anything they're kind of like oh sorry this is the TMI it's like what it's not I'm like tell me all of the TMI I don't think there's anything you could tell me that I wouldn't be surprised by 100% it's and I don't I feel really grateful that we've had this and also like our interactions back then are so similar to how they are now like i mean the editing you can tell the editing is choppy in this and like i did rearrange a lot of stuff um but i yeah i think that like i also i don't know i think that we've became such close friends through this podcast

too so having that documentation is also really interesting like listening to us then compared to like our conversations now i don't know there's just a tangible difference yeah totally yeah it's i think it's more fun now like when i'm editing now i enjoy it more because i'm like we have our little our fun i feel like i'm talking with my friends and i kind of am yeah i'm listening with to my friends no i know and that's what we wanted so it's like cool that we've accomplished that yeah i was with um you always take a gamble going into starting a podcast with someone that you like i mean we knew each other well enough yeah but yeah not as well as we do now yeah i mean right we were like forced to like get to know each other very well very fast

but it didn't feel like that it didn't feel weird we were already talking almost every day yeah that's true I don't even know how that happened I was going through a breakup and you were like if you need someone to talk to I'm here I remember this yeah and I was like I need someone to talk to and like we that's when we started talking like every day it was like the beginning of the pandemic oh yeah well I remember us talking every day on teams at work oh we did I only remember text oh we uh maybe maybe it wasn't every day on teams but i remember us talking a lot on teams when we were bored that's so funny yeah and then uh yeah we did text a lot oh miss i love you i love you too this was a great way to celebrate 200 episodes but also like 201 episodes yeah

I we it was it was necessary for us to split this into two so let us know if you like this yeah if you like this kind of like re-listen and commentating yeah I think it would be a lot of fun to do this with episode two because episode two we recorded the same day and we were in our fucking bag oh okay I was I'm pretty sure episode two is a sad dry hand job but I yeah I'll have to we should do it again we should do it again well we'll get a pulse check yeah let us know if you like it we'll get a pulse check from the listeners and even if you don't like it we'll probably do it we'll probably do it at least a couple more times yeah when we don't have like a topic for the week but also i don't know i like reflecting on um what we think is different now and um yeah

it's a good exercise yeah it's exposure therapy in a way should i let um past amelia and liz sing us out one more time i think so all right we'll salute adios in the name of the father and the son and the holy spirit amen