The Hoely Hour - E203 A White Man's Work Ethic

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

Don't let monogamy stop you from meeting the next woman you'll cheat on! Condoms are like tampons: you should just have them on hand for whoever might need one. Anyways, let's talk about spooky scary things, like the global degradation of women's rights. SO FUN OMG! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

it doesn't feel appropriate that's so true fuck well we could end it by saying no we could end it with a positive message which is get a gun welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com i've been smoking too much weed lately oh that's good good for you thanks you deserve it

you've earned it or well i've been smoking the amount of weed that i want that's great which i think is a regular amount okay don't let anyone tell you otherwise queen the only the only person telling me otherwise is myself inside of me is two wolves and they both want to smoke weed but one of them feels bad about it but the other one doesn't and you know that's good at least at least that wolf is keeping your head um level yeah yeah we love that life's about balance give it up for that wolf thank you um hold on i'm gonna grab my water yeah go for it my obnoxiously large water bottle every time i go to the nail salon the ladies there have something to say about my water bottle i can always tell they're talking about it is very big it's large they always have

something to say tell them it's a self-defense weapon and it keeps you hydrated i always think about because i'll carry my water bottle yeah and i'm like if i really needed to i could just whack someone upside the head absolutely and it would do some damage it does feel like if i'm swinging it around i look like less of somebody that someone wants to fuck with yeah you know yeah it's like they see that and they're like oh she's gonna use that what are some unhinged ways you would ward off a potential predator um walking around like just like jenna marbles taught us in our youth yeah just make just make your body into some crazy shape amelia made herself kind of look like doodle bob that's the perfect way to describe it that's my advice i thought about

barking oh that's a good one bark at them yeah or act like you're getting attacked by bees i learned that from tommy boy they were driving erratically and they got pulled over by the cops and they were like how do we get the cops to go away and they pulled over and then they just pretended like they were being swarmed by bees and the cops were like i'm allergic to bees and left and i'm like that's a great way to keep men away in general you know what i mean is there a bee just like and if you're if like it's too cold for bees you're gonna look so out of your mind nobody's gonna want to fuck with you that's i think that's a good strategy doodle bob and bees i mean if you've seen any homeless person having a bad time on the street people just ignore their existence

so if you i think if you do act in a way that makes people uncomfortable they're gonna be like yeah that's that's my advice do you have any other advice uh no because we're so well kind of we're so conditioned to behave like politely yeah i think more people need to be conditioned to behave politely 100 actually anyone that's not a woman yeah um women need the opposite conditioning and you should just if someone's making you uncomfortable be fucking unhinged just become absolutely off your rocker and make everyone super uncomfortable i think that we should start maybe we should start a trend like on tiktok of like okay ladies if you're in public and a guy's making you uncomfortable you're gonna make this crazy sound and other women will know

to come help you yeah oh yeah it's like a siren yeah yeah i guess we didn't like that that's i I think we found the sound. Yeah. Just make a siren sound because I've never seen his eyes that big. He knew new sounds really confuse him. Same. Just start making a loud siren sound. Yeah.

We will all know any kind of siren. Because there are many kinds of sirens. Yeah. And many kinds of men to fear. but we'll know and we'll be able to come and check on you yeah and then we can all do the siren sound together i think this is a great idea honestly i don't i don't see anything wrong with this no not at all um um share your siren sounds with us yeah we'll slide into our dms we'll add a super cut to the next episode that's a great idea actually do send us your siren sounds we'll

actually check our dms on instagram for this purpose yeah send us videos of you making the siren sound in public um when someone's making you feel uncomfortable great that's a good call to action maybe you know what should it be for women or should it be for everybody um it should be for everyone but i think women should have a special one yeah women get get a special siren yeah um what what siren should men get um a less special siren okay we'll just know because a man will be you'll hear it coming yeah yeah okay then that's what makes it less special yeah just by design just by yeah the men that are listening know that their siren needs to be less special they deserve a less special they deserve a siren because they're special but it needs to be less

special exactly exactly and you guys understand that's equity yeah siren equity siren equity honestly period i have a thought started for you before we dive into our conversation that is relevant to what we were just talking about okay um it's not really a thought starter but i was talking to frank yesterday in the car and it was it was like a throwaway comment that he made but i was like oh i want to ask liz about that um he was like what would you do if like i just like admitted to you that i was a virgin before i met you and i i love that boyfriends love to ask these fucking questions yeah me too they love to be like what would you do if i did like this thing that is completely uncalled for yeah like do you want my real answer do you want me to play

this game with you right like when he asked if like what i would do if you open a dojo i'm like why do you want to know my answer list what would you do if i opened a dojo um i don't know like for what like i mean i have follow-up questions but let me see a business plan that was that was my foot i'm not farting um it would be okay if you were farting thank you and that's why i would have i would have told you i would have this is a positive household thank you i feel really seen here um but so seen and smelled i was thinking about this question because i was like okay well i think it would change if i want you to answer this from the perspective of you if mr liz told you that he was a virgin before he met you and like he was lying all this time

fucking mind if he was lying all this time and but like let's think about the question in terms of like you've forgiven him for the lie because i don't want you to focus on the fact that he was lying to you I want you to focus on the fact that he was a virgin like how would that make you feel first of all I'd be very impressed um because Mr. Lose's performance in the bedroom and maybe I'll cut that out because it feels a little personal even though I've gone into great detail I mean people have heard the story of a butt plug just titanic into my butthole so still everyone's favorite story i still get people will still send me butt plug memes and i they're welcome i i appreciate when they're sent to me because i i'm just like wow every time someone

thinks of a butt plug they think of me and that story that's your legacy it's a it's a tale of caution it's a cautionary tale tale hey it's coming out of your butt okay sorry i continue um yeah so I would be very impressed um but I would also feel I would actually feel sad that he wouldn't that he didn't feel comfortable telling me that before but I would also understand why he wouldn't potentially want to tell me that for sure because as an adult woman would you want to take someone's virginity would you want that responsibility no but I mean like and then it's also like okay but then should there even be a stigma around virginity i would have a lot of questions for him well so here's so i'm gonna tell you my answer and maybe it'll it'll age your

answer okay my answer was i would have a very hard time with it because i think it's important to like fuck different people before you like fuck one person for forever just personally you know what i mean like that's not everyone's case but that's my case and like i know when i was with my ex he had had sex with plenty of other people during our relationship too yeah he didn't discriminate on timing either monogamy didn't stop him that's called work ethic it's a white man's work ethic fuck that's so sad but it's true but cheat on your girlfriend I was so uncomfortable with the fact that like he had had sex with other people and I never had you know so I was kind of always like well I want to have that experience you know and so I would always be concerned that Frank

would be like well I want to fuck other people because like I've never done that so that would be where the it would come from for me I'd be like no you need to go out there and like spread your wings a little bit spread your legs a little bit spread your legs maybe your cheeks spread someone else's legs or cheeks yeah um I think that's a good perspective of like okay that maybe i would be okay with being like the first but i would not want to be the only i'm gonna be like you need to yeah go go go experience dating yeah um and figure out what you like and don't like get your wiggles out yeah get your wiggles out we that is the name of an episode is it early on yeah we talked about that get your wiggle getting your wiggles out hell yeah um yeah i

would have a a multitude of of feelings about it be like okay um one impressive two sad you didn't want to tell me that sooner three um not sure if we should continue this relationship or maybe it should it could be a different kind of relationship but potentially monogamy is not going to be the best solution for you but also i don't know i don't i'd be like why did you why did you want to wait and i'd also wait to tell me yeah tell me more about your internal experience with this yeah part of your life i think i would be more inquisitive than anything yeah um yeah me too i think that's how i would feel that makes sense i'd feel yeah maybe also a little overwhelmed like yeah because what if you really liked them you're like oh i'd

be fucking devastated but it would also be like am i going to be able to be happy and trust him in this relationship if he's always wondering about fucking other people yeah you know what kind of pressure would you then put on yourself yeah a lot i'd have to like wear wigs take on different personalities get his number up just with me you're gonna have to go out there and maybe you come back yeah hopefully yeah fuck now i'm sad thinking about this um untrue scenario yeah that's never happened to me well then i'll just uh shift gears and talk about my breaking boobs oh okay and then we can get into um the the meat and potatoes of this episode as you love a main and as my period approaches my craving for things like meat and potatoes is trifled we

we got a cast iron skillet and frank has been making steak every night and i don't eat steak for those listening that don't know you just have to smell it now it's the most torturous it smells so fucking good i like that he's making a lot of steak a lot i love that he's also like i need to season this cast iron skillet oh yeah he like puts it in the oven and everything he like does the whole the whole nine i remember mr liz's first cast iron skillet it's a big deal yeah it really is yeah i had to look up how to season it because he was kind of like spiraling oh shit i don't know how to season this he has his best friend is very into um this kind of thing so they've they've been able to cooking like the very specific aspects of cooking that's so man yeah that's such a man

thing yeah i'm gonna be very into this one aspect of this thing yep yeah and it's like always the tools of it yes you know absolutely like dudes will like be like let's start a podcast and then they'll get all the best equipment and then record like two episodes and never touch it again yeah damn that's like how they treat women i was gonna say that's what they're like in bed they get the best fucking women and they only touch them twice boom sorry okay all right breaking boobs report finds widespread decline in use of condoms here are the high level deets about it and an increase in in chlamydia well funny you should

say that liz t ball thank you for that um segue sti check sorry was that like a tiktok challenge no well i'm just yeah the challenge is for you to get an sti check every time you sleep with a new partner yeah that's a good challenge sti check so here are some high level points from this article there's a shift in attitude toward condom use especially among younger adults not an enormous shock um women they're they're like dopamine receptors are so fucked they cannot think about the consequences of something yeah well funny you should thank you for that segue liz t-ball just gonna say that like 90 times fucked dopamine receptors fuck same just relatable queen um the article says women often bear the responsibility for

preventing pregnancy and stis including buying condoms which is not something i think that we talk about a lot i was shocked at how often i had to provide condoms during my sexual encounters that's incredible in a bad way incredibly bad i mean this is like the equivalent of having tampons you know yeah like just how if you have a penis you should just have condoms yeah on hand right that's we're we're doing we're holding up our end of the deal a lot of the time you're not using them someone's gonna use them yeah like tampons mm-hmm somebody might ask for and you might have one they're gonna feel like a fucking hero yeah um so it says decreased condom use among men who have sex with men as hiv fears lesson partly due to uh prep which is pre-exposure prophylaxis

which was why i said it was a good segue because it does feel like there being more readily available solutions i guess for stis like it would make sense that people would be pulling back on condom use you know it's like oh well we can actually do more things about this now than we could before so you know what i mean yeah but i'll keep reading um there's a new drug called doxycycline pep which prevents certain stis when taken within 72 hours after unprotected sex gaining popularity among men who have sex with men and transgender women which is an interesting new thing yeah it's like plan b for stis yeah i that's amazing i mean it's not obviously it's not a catch-all so you should still like be safe but and it's also for men that have sex with men

another and transgender women but it's still like a cool first step in the right direction for stis you know what i mean i don't know i thought that was interesting when i read that uh it says in this article sex education in the u.s varies by state with no national standard less than half of the u.s um require contraception education with some states like mississippi focusing on abstinence which we talked about early on in this podcast and throughout my eyes are going to roll out of my head and down the street abstinence focused education is supported by some as age appropriate while critics argue it leads to higher rates of stis and gaps in understanding health protection both true i just thought this was very interesting because when i

saw the headline i was like well yeah because like people don't like using condoms like that's not a shock but there's like a few things that are contributing to that that i and i just thought that was interesting I just still think that like condom use should be the first line of defense absolutely you know it's like okay yeah it is really awesome that there's these drugs that are available but that should be like in case of an emergency only yeah totally like plan b yeah exactly yeah not like oh I don't want to deal with the consequences right now yeah I don't want to think about them I'm too swept away in the moment it's it's just like it's not worth it in my opinion and then like what are the long-term complications of if you do that every time

you know like your plan b is not good for your body yeah it can absolutely take a toll and for some people it's not even effective yeah like if I think if you weigh over like 160 or 180 um plan b won't work for you you probably have to take two fuck and like i said it's not good for you no it's not easy on your body have you ever had to take plan b yeah i've had to take plan b a handful of times um and it was always because like uh the condom broke it was never because i was just like oh i'm gonna think about this later yeah no it was like um i remember when I first had to get it I was like 18 and my boyfriend at the time was gonna go buy it for me and he was like they won't sell it to me unless you're here so then I had to go up to

the counter and I was like hi and then I asked a question I was like um I just started birth control and uh like can I take plan b and then the pharmacist gave me an attitude and she was like why wouldn't you use protection and i was like i did and it broke how dare you like i was so annoyed and then she's like oh that's like don't fucking judge me yeah you don't know me woman yeah also we're in las vegas yeah get get fucking used to it lady yeah that's really inappropriate yeah yeah ebola and i was like 18 so i don't know how to fucking say something back yeah of course not uh excuse me judgment not appreciated yeah you need to be professional right now and i want to i i would pull a karen and be like i would like to talk to your manager that's a good that's a

good reason to be a karen yeah yeah because that's that's insane behavior like if if you didn't want to do your fucking job then get a different job yeah sorry right it's not like we all have to do shit about our with our job that we don't want to do yeah and i i didn't appreciate her looking at me and being like you dumb teenager and I was a dumb teenager about other stuff but not this I was very cautious about having sex Vivian I just feel like her name was Vivian I don't know why maybe but I just don't I just she feels like I just feels right I bet I'm right fucking Viv um so that was my breaking boobs that was a good one thank you now we can move on so I saw this video on tiktok like right before you got here and it's like a news story about a bikini barista

and a guy trying to kidnap her and this actually happened in auburn washington so i'm just gonna read part of the article um the it was last updated this happened last year um it happened on january 16th of 2023 and then the article was updated on august 31st of 2023 and the headline it's from auburn reporter the headline is man who tried to kidnap auburn barista accepts plea deal matthew william darnell 39 initially charged in january for the attempted kidnapping of an employee working at a bikini barista coffee stand in auburn has accepted a plea deal and has pleaded guilty to a charge of felony harassment prosecutors originally filed a charge of attempted kidnapping in the second degree against darnell according to an affidavit of probable cause darnell pulled up

to the coffee stand at around 5 a.m january 16th surveillance footage from the coffee stand showed darnell seizing the right wrist of the barista a 31 year old woman as she handed him money the footage showed him trying to lasso a 10 to 12 inch loop zip tie around her head and missing Escaping Darnell's grasp, the woman quickly shut the window and called police. After Darnell's arrest the following day of the incident, a search warrant executed at Darnell's residence on January 18th discovered additional zip ties. king county judge joe campana sentenced darnell on august 25th to 50 days in king county jail with 220 days of credit for time sir time served for his previous time in custody satisfying his sentence and resulting in his release from custody both charges of attempted kidnapping

in the second degree and felony harassment serve as class c felonies darnell also agreed to a lifetime civil anti-harassment production order as part of the guilty plea active for 100 years if he were convicted at trial the judge could only order him to have no contact with the victim for this the statutory maximum of five years as a condition of his sentence according to mcnarthy the victim of the incident indicated her support for the resolution to king county prosecutors as the plea deal afforded her more protection than a conviction at trial isn't that insane that's good but it's still not enough no exactly well and so when i originally was telling amelia about this this guy he's like a white guy and he has a fucking chevrolet tattoo

on the back of his left arm and i'm i'm also describing him in detail just in case women of washington are listening to this because i don't know if you've ever seen like I don't know you see the posts on like um are we dating the same guy and it's like the most egregious shit and I was also thinking about your friend who has dated a lot of really terrible men this guy straight up like you look up his name he's probably using a fake name on dating apps yeah he's out here yeah he's literally out here yeah and he tried to kidnap this woman yeah i was just like he he has to have done shit like this before to be so bold yeah it's it's truly i mean like the the like method that he did it with like the grabbing her and then like the lassoing

with the zip tie like that's not like a one-time dealio like that took a lot of planning and thinking like it's wild that there isn't like you know there's like first degree murder and second degree murder and first degree murder is when there's intent like there's planning ahead of it there needs to be that for like this kind of thing yeah just because he didn't successfully kidnap this woman like what the fuck was he his plan to do next yeah you know yeah well and to do shit like this like this is escalating behavior other other things have had to happen for him to get to this point yeah and like it just it makes me one sick two angry because how much longer until we see this motherfucker in the news again yeah it feels inevitable yeah he didn't really

there are no punishments outside of his name just being out there like the public shame but he that's not not enough people know about this use a fake name and nobody's gonna remember unless they really put an effort toward remembering nobody's gonna remember that's such like a standard name yeah Matthew Darnell you can remember his stupid fucking Chevrolet tattoo I want to see what he looks like um what's his full name again Matthew William Darnell because they should be showing his face everywhere absolutely yeah I can't believe he's like just back out there now there's like no there's nothing of his face fuck this guy he doesn't deserve any sort of privacy no oh okay okay someone found pictures of him um this is what he looks like

someone on twitter holy shit she said got him why is why was it that hard to find women um that is a great question that's fucking crazy the fact that somebody had to be like oh i like i i finally found the dude that everybody should be aware of that's insane he looks exactly what you think he'd look like i really do with what i do on tiktok like i get a lot of people being like you should really show these people's faces so we know who to avoid and like there there's a part of me where i'm like i get that you know like but also i think when people are like that loud and open about like being a shitty person like you'll they'll it's not going to be a question of whether or not you should stay away from them when you meet them

also them requesting you to do that puts you in a lot of risk it puts you in a very dangerous situation yeah absolutely i've never felt enough people think about that no no sure you could do that yeah but it would also endanger you yeah totally you get so many threats yeah so i don't know anyway this story that you just told reminded me about this similar case that happened back in 2012 um in alaska do you have you heard about israel keys oh isn't he like a prolific serial killer he had killed a few people yeah but he um has kidnapped a woman from a barista stand and it's on cam like it's her being kidnapped is on camera he like stuck a gun through the like through the window told her to turn off all the lights and then took her and then killed her

like right away but he hung up a ransom note in a park that was her holding up the that day's newspaper to be like oh i'm still alive like send money to this guy but he had like pinned her eyes open to make it look like she was still alive but she had been dead for like days at that point but it's and we were talking about this and this is why we like decided to talk about this this episode the like sheer volume of violence against women when they're just like at their job they're everywhere but like at their job too is so horrific and the fact that there are two readily available stories in our heads about baristas like being assaulted and or killed is that's a crazy thing like and there's so many more that we probably just like haven't heard

about or like didn't make the news or are forgetting about like it's just and that's just baristas like there's there are so many instances of women being brutalized at their place of work for just existing and even in their homes uh-huh this is i don't think we've talked about the whole like um like i'd rather be alone with a bear conversation on the podcast i don't think we've talked about it i don't think we have either but i was thinking a lot about it because there was a i've been perusing the nice guys reddit forum um and there was a guy that was like okay you guys want to choose the bear then like we're not going to fucking defend you like good luck you know like that kind of mentality and it's like first of all you're not going to

win against bear second of all we're not actually talking about bears you fucking idiot third the whole thing is like at least you can predict what a bear is gonna do yeah you know like the the fact that like you can just be out existing and like this strange man can just brutalize you like is so like it's so terrifying where people would literally rather like be alone with a bear because they don't there takes away all the guest the guesswork and like this idea is so upsetting to so many men that just don't get it like they just can't get it i don't understand the the like defaulting to rage instead of like listening uh-huh and and then when you do default to rage it's like okay then you're the guy no one wants to be in the fucking woods with

yeah like you're the guy everyone's talking about yeah if you are upset about this you are the problem like yeah like people explaining the things that they're afraid about of and reasonably so like you should be able to hear that information and be like oh my god i didn't know i was like that for you that sucks that's insane like yeah can i help or how can i help yeah instead of like fuck you um you're gonna die because this bear is gonna fucking eat you whatever or or um my other the other take i hate is like well no one talks about when like men are assaulted and it's like both conversations can exist they don't need to exist in the same conversation though they can be two separate things yeah they deserve their own space like let's talk about that in a

i also don't really ever see people like i don't know when men are assaulted people aren't like he deserved it what was he wearing they're like yeah no they're like what the fuck that's fucked up that's so true it just does not receive the same kind of like the rhetoric around around men being assaulted by other men is not the same around women being assaulted that's so true but also it's like these men that are like the men that are so upset about women choosing the bear and being like well like we're your protectors so like i guess we'll just like not protect you anymore it's like think think long and hard about who you're protecting us against and that's exactly the reason that they don't even do that no what was it there was like almost 200 cops outside of

uvalde doing fucking nothing and then one cop was like my wife is inside i'm gonna do something and they were like no yeah hold him back yep hold back the one guy who was had the balls to go do something yeah um i was thinking about this was like this happened like a few weeks ago i was watching this woman on tiktok talk about you know some these really horrific headlines um and i'll just say what the headlines are and you guys can go look into the stories but um like the woman in france who's i'm sure everyone immediately knows what i'm talking about the woman in france who discovered that her husband was drugging her and letting people rape her um and then the the doctor in india who was raped to death at work by her colleagues um

the the tiktoker was talking about those headlines um how femicide rates have exploded in mexico just like these things are happening in real time and women's rights are being stripped away everywhere you look like in afghanistan women can't sing they are not allowed to sing they're not allowed to go to the park yeah um i don't know if you saw that clip of meryl streep talking about it she's like a cat yeah has more rights than a girl yeah which is insane when you put it in those i mean it's insane anyway but like thinking about it that way is it's terrifying it's just it's so upsetting and then like thinking about all of these women who like the woman in France this this is there are 80 men 50 whom they've identified 80 of these

strangers and all of them all of them participated in this behavior and it wasn't even hard for her husband to find men to participate in this yeah and they knew it was wrong yeah they knew yeah and um the woman in india her colleagues had to have walked in and seen this and they did nothing they did absolutely nothing and i was sitting there like reflecting on all of this and i was like if i were in this situation and i were able to like in my in this situation in my head i'm like if i were to walk into a situation seeing a woman being assaulted needing help and i had means to harm or kill this the person assaulting them would i do it yeah the trauma of like facing the potential of like killing someone or harming them in defense

of like yourself or someone else is still traumatizing that's not like an easy decision for a normal person to make yeah um and i was like yes i would i got to the conclusion like after thinking about it not for that long but i was like yeah i would because imagine you're that woman and you're in her position just hoping someone will help you yeah and save you and no one does yeah and it costs you your life yeah like and then you you have to sit and think about every man in your life how many men do you know would actually do something and intervene would put themselves put their life at risk to save someone who's being harmed like realistically like 80 fucking men 80 yeah 80 yeah not a single one of them did the right thing

yeah i mean these like predators like i was about to literally quote kendrick lamar but it's it's true like these predators move in flocks like they all know who each other is or are they all have like ways of communicating with each other it's like it's like child predators like they all talk on telegram you know or signal because it's like they all know how to find each other and it's people that you wouldn't expect it to be like you see these people get arrested and caught and sure some of them look like it's like oh yeah that looks like somebody that would expect to do harm on a woman but like not all the time you know it's like people with families like there are the um uh long island serial killer i think was what they ended up calling him he was just

like leading a normal life he was like a boss of like many people at a company and people had no idea that he had had this past of just like killing all of these women and that's terrifying because it's like yeah i could sit here and say like a lot of men that i know in my life like could i could see them intervening and i feel lucky for that but then it's like how many people would say the same long and hard you it's a truth inside of you yeah because i started thinking about the men in my life and the worst part is when you think about a man that you know wouldn't do anything you're like would he actually do something yeah and you know inside the answer is no yeah yeah like and there's like levels of intervening like okay would they stand back and

maybe call the police or would they be like that's none of my business yeah like you have to ask yourself about the doctor in india like yeah these are these are esteemed people like esteemed colleagues of yours and you can't even take a break yeah safely yeah it's it's horrifying i don't even i don't know what other word to use terrific it's horrifying it's terrifying it's it's just it's so scary and it's like it's truly if you think what i was going to say was like people that you could say i could see them interviewing i could see them doing something like i'm sure that the people that committed these crimes the people in their life would have said the same thing about them like oh i could never see him do it like he would intervene

if somebody was like harming a woman but then they're the same people that are like doing these crimes you just never know it's so so it's just horrible it's really i don't know it makes me sick so as i'm like watching this tiktok video and reading these headlines and thinking about this scenario to myself and getting like really worked up and emotional i'm super upset yeah and then i like i was out here on the couch and then i'm like gonna go get ready for bed mr liz is in bed and I walk in and he's like giggling looking at it watching a video on his phone and I'm like about to burst into tears um and then I'm like what are you what are you watching and he shows me a video of a dolphin or it's either a dolphin or a whale and they have a jiggly head and it's

like rocking its head up back and forth and it's jiggly heads moving and I just like I started crying and I was like I love you so much yeah like I'm having this like emotional meltdown and like about to like yell at my boyfriend for being a man yeah and here he comes just watching yeah he's just watching a silly video and I was like you're perfect brought brought him back down brought you back down to earth yeah well and then I was like I'm like about to have a meltdown he's like what's going on and then I like told him the the whole thought process I was having and he's just comforting me and I was like I know that you would do something but I need to hear you say that you would do something he's like absolutely I was like okay yeah yeah I mean there

are a lot of really incredible men that would that absolutely would yeah I thought about him i thought about frank i thought about my dad i was like mr ball would not hesitate yeah mr ball has been waiting for this moment if anyone were to i know i've said this before but honestly if anyone were to ever hurt me you better watch your fucking back because my dad is i love that he would not let you go quietly oh like my mom was like elizabeth if I think you need to know like your your dad would probably skin someone alive yeah it's like um I I can't remember it she's it was someone's dad I think she was murdered and he that her dad uh killed her murderer in court right I think so yeah yeah I mean love that shit I wouldn't

be surprised if my dad did something like that oh yeah same same I think if he did my mom would be like well he did what he had to do i'll see you i'll visit you when you're in jail i feel like the men like that people like that should like get an exemption like the dude that killed his daughter's murderer should not go to jail i know they should be like don't do that naughty naughty wow that was not okay but we didn't see it no witnesses shit this doesn't count um this is on such like a smaller obviously way smaller scale but this was like uh demonstrated to me when i was at the bus stop when we were still going to the office i was at my bus stop and this man came up to me who is clearly not playing with a full deck you know and was just like screaming in my

face about enough nonsense and nobody was doing anything and i was just like trying to ignore him and then he just walked away he just moved on to someone else and i looked around and all of the men around me were just pretending like they weren't seeing they're literally like whistling yeah it's like do y'all hear something and it's just like they put on their sunglasses and take out a cane yeah right a stick it's like oh it was so upsetting you know it was like it was such a minor this little old lady next to me was like that was so scary i don't know how i would have handled that she's the only person that said anything to me acknowledged i was yeah afraid and potentially in danger and that that just happened because if she hadn't said anything

i'd be like did i just imagine that because like everybody around me where it was all tall men and none of them did anything and it's just like hello like what it's it's just i don't know i think the call to action needs to just like step in yeah and you don't even need to you don't need to confront this this person this alleged other person actually I think ignoring them like I think if someone had intervened and come up to you and been like hey why don't you come over here with me yeah even something that small yeah is more than enough yes like I and it really diffuses the situation yeah because I mean what are the chances that the person yelling at you would have done anything small but like at least there's another person in there to be an anchor to be

like yeah hey are you okay let's go over here because if you just walked away that guy might have followed you totally i mean it was just it was on principle regardless of if he was going to do something or not it's just on principle nobody was going to be like hey man you know like let go away you know it's i know nobody wants to be fucked with but it's like here i am 25 anyway i don't know if I have anything else to say about that the whole thing is just like it's so it's just all upsetting really neat I mean like it's not that hard to like redirect a situation by taking away another person's power yeah you know yeah yeah I just got a uh birdie the like personal alarm that goes on your keys obviously you don't always have your keys with you but it does help me feel safe

when I'm like walking back to my car just to know if anyone tries to fuck with me I can just like pull it you know um and those bitches are loud they're super loud so I don't know I would recommend that I used to accidentally pull one I my mom gave me one and it started to get like loose and anytime I take my keys out of my bag it would pop open and be like yeah that happened in the office oh god my eardrums so fucking loud but you know that it's effective yeah um i had pepper spray on my keys for a little bit and then i pepper sprayed myself and um right in the eyes i still have never pepper sprayed anything slash anyone did i tell that story when i pepper sprayed myself i'm sure i did maybe i was i had pepper spray on my keychain

because i really wanted to take like jujitsu or something this was years ago now i'm like i wouldn't survive a day in jujitsu but um my doctor's husband super weird guy was like no you know what's more effective is pepper spray and he gifted me pepper spray like why don't you just encourage me to like do mixed martial arts it's like a weird thing to just like you know anyway so I had this pepper spray and I was walking back to the bus stop from a company event so I was drunk and I was like I should probably know how to use this thing wrong time to figure it out and I like unlocked it and didn't realize that the nozzle was facing me so I like pressed it down and it sprayed all over my neck and then like ricocheted into my eye oh my god and i'm alone

at night walking to a bus stop you're like and so i'm like my first reaction is to like like rub it away and it was itchy so i was scratching so then for like a good 36 hours after that whenever i had like an itch or something and i would scratch it pepper spray would go into where i was scratching because it was underneath my fingernails and you're on fire so my cautionary tale is if you have pepper spray learn how to use it um not when you're drunk wear some goggles be sober yeah make sure you're pointing it somewhere yeah look at where the nozzle is yeah don't be don't be like me but be like me in every other way yeah or do yeah i was at a bachelorette party in puerto vallarta last week yeah last weekend and we

didn't find this out until we came back and i also feel very stupid for not being aware of this but um apparently like the war with the cartel in mexico is not it's pretty bad right now like shit and puerto vallarta is known for being pretty safe yeah yeah it's like um and i've been to i've been there several times um and i've always felt safe like no problem um in general it felt kind of tense in mexico like i don't know what it was like the people just seemed like they were experiencing their own tension yeah um and now that makes a lot of sense um and we went to we stayed at an all-inclusive resort so we were on the premises like 90 of the time but we did go to um like downtown to a few clubs the last night and the first place we go there are these

two like blonde white women and one of them is staring at us and another one comes up to the bride and she's like hey like are you getting married can can we get you some shots and then she's like um okay and she like when she came back she was like something felt like weird about them and felt off and um they they bring her we didn't realize the two blonde women were together so one of the one brings um the bride and another one of our friends up there because she's like you can bring your friend with you if you want and she's like i'm okay and then our other friend is watching the whole time because we're all watching and we're like huh and the woman like one of the women the blonde the blonde woman who was standing up like on the balcony was

who was staring at us they went up to her and the bride was like she seemed like strung out on something they were really fucking weird it was giving me a bad feeling and then they were like no drinks for us thanks and then our other friend stomped up there and she's like no you guys are coming back with us to the table like then they came back and they tried to get them away from the group again so once was not enough and then um the one of the girls in our group like confronted one of the blonde women and she was like she was like you need to go away good you need to fuck off and she's like sorry about my sister and then she's like oh are you and then she just like turned around good and they fucked off but um that is a tactic that is used you know

they're like oh if we have like blonde white women working for us then they'll trust these these women yeah for human trafficking yeah yeah yeah yeah and um we had actually hired like security to help escort us there was fucking 12 of us you know so having security was like an added like a peace of mind but they they were like hey just so you know we saw like we clocked that immediately we were keeping an eye on them like we just want you guys to have fun like you don't need to worry about anything like good no one else that's nice and i mean we're all like we all have our wits about us like we're not right as impulsive as we were in our like early 20s in college we're like sure shots free yay yeah yeah so i mean so scary it was just like definitely a weird vibe

but then like you know going home and learning this news you're like oh my god all that makes a lot of sense yeah and it's also there's a documentary on netflix right now that i started watching but then it was subtitled and i can't read when i'm watching tv um it's not why i'm watching it but it was about the um issues with human trafficking in mexico and like how rampant it is and it makes so much sense that it would be connected to drugs like at the cartel the cartel terrifies me like obviously that's like the dumbest thing i've ever said of course they terrify me the amount of shit that i've been reading about the cartel recently like i'm glad that you didn't know before you went over there oh yeah it definitely would have

changed our experience yeah but um yeah i also think they were probably like okay it's not worth it to like try and fuck with these girls so yeah good there were too many of us but also why didn't the security why didn't security do something before you guys did i think they were i mean it was pretty quick like it was a very fast situation it was like no this is weird i'm going back with my friends got it like we had been there for maybe five minutes oh okay yeah so it was a pretty fast turnaround like and i think security was waiting to see like what would like kind of happen but i mean like we had enough of our own agency and we had just gotten there so we were like yeah goodbye yeah good we're gonna leave this situation oh yeah just stay aware of your

surroundings everyone like that have a good time but you know have a system to keep track of your friends um make sure like people know like where you're located you have your location services turned on yeah things like that so it's good advice yeah felt a little relevant one of the girls in our group was like I just like now that I'm in my 30s I just like don't really know if I'm even at risk of being trafficked and then another girl in our group was like you're always at risk you're always at risk of being trapped it doesn't matter how old you are they don't you're an old lady they do not discriminate with age yeah they'll just take whoever yeah exactly it's so scary and it's so scary that they're involving other women to recruit too like

I don't know well I mean how do you do you think those women really have a choice no but it's like that's it's so scary because it's like whenever like a woman in public needs help she was giving kingpin energy the way she was staring at us yeah that's a little but still it's like you see a woman in public that like is like needing help too it's like oh my god like I lost my baby it's like there are people that are trafficking people that use those tactics to to get people you know and it's like that stops you from wanting to help people that are actually in need of help you know because they're using that to recruit it's just i don't know the whole thing is it's disgusting and horrifying we could have a whole conversation about human trafficking but

it's yeah i don't know just be aware oh anyway this has been like so uplifting yeah super super fun happy episode thank you for tuning in with us to get a few laughs off some he he's some ha ha's to to be mad with us yeah and talk about important things but still we don't like to you know bring down the mood too often but i do still think it's important to talk about totally and um especially the closer the election gets something that i had been thinking about is there are people who are involved in politics they're involved in i could just say politicians there are people who are politicians who have seen women gain rights so comparatively they have like donald trump was alive before black women were allowed to vote that's crazy isn't that insane yeah so that really

puts it in perspective yeah like women couldn't even have bank accounts when he was born like our grandparents have witnessed women get more and more agency as independent people and to see those rights being slowly stripped away from us like i don't know it's you need to be so aware of this like yeah yeah it's terrifying it's terrifying and it's it's happening it's not like it's not a hypothetical yeah i mean georgia just had a six-week abortion ban right the day after like it was ruled unconstitutional it's just so uninformed like it's just so such an uneducated horrible like what's like predatory stance to take and well and they know the risks yeah they know the risks that are predatory they're doing it on purpose yeah um and they

don't give a fuck about the constitution because it's unconstitutional so i don't want to hear like it's my god-given right get like shut the fuck up shut up shove it up your ass i fucking hate people man uh like it's just the worst anyway i'm getting mad now i do really hate this country yeah same a lot of the times maybe when i go to europe i'm not going to want to come back yeah well they have their own issues over there it's true but i mean at least i could get an abortion if i needed it that's true i technically i still could hear yeah i guess like i don't know are we just like so much in a liberal bubble that i don't know what the rest of the world is like or no i think it's like it's uh an american bubble it's not like a liberal bubble

what it was what getting worse the world america yeah i think so it's like it's getting worse and worse oh yeah i was actually talking to somebody about this yesterday i was like has it always been this bad or are you just cognizant of it now yeah i think it's getting worse i think the internet has made things get worse like better and worse at the same time yeah anyway i feel like we could just we could keep talking about we should end this i'm starting to get itchy i don't feel like singing yeah me neither it just doesn't feel like it doesn't feel appropriate that's so true fuck well we could end it by saying no we could end it with a positive message which is get a gun and that's your that's your constitutional right yeah there you go get a gun get it get a

gun i'm kind of joking i'm not get a cute little gun get a little pink little guy little one pink little guy it fits right in your hand okay well thanks for listening bye we love you