The Hoely Hour - E205 Amelia's Colonoscopy

Episode Date: October 25, 2024

Liz is in Paris and Amelia got her booty plundered by a camera and feels the urgent need to remind you the importance of getting your colon checked. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

They also don't tell you this, but when you're pooping, don't wipe how you normally do, pat. Do some gentle pats, or if you have a bidet, do that. Just don't, your butthole is going to be raw at the end of this. Welcome to The Holy Hour, a podcast about sex, relationships, mental health, and everything in between. I'm Amelia Sanson. And I'm Liz Baugh. follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen

ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at the holy hour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com y'all it's Amelia I'm alone this week I wish that I could tell you just how much time it took for me to realize that the reason I couldn't hear myself was because my bluetooth was on I am entirely useless technologically without Liz here I couldn't even get that sentence out that's how bad it is. But Liz is in Paris for her birthday with Mr. Liz, which is so cool. I'm so excited for her. I'm so excited to see pictures and hear all of the stories. I need to get the fuck out of Dodge. I am like two seconds away from just hopping in their suitcase. Frank will understand.

Maybe we could both, maybe we could both fit in a suitcase. But anyway, this week's going to be a short episode. I don't know if I've made this clear in the past, but I'm bad at yapping alone. So it's going to be a short one, but I thought it was important because this week I got a colonoscopy. That was supposed to be air horns, but that didn't really translate. But I was talking to Liz about this and we both agreed that it would be important for me to talk about my experience with getting a colonoscopy because um a I don't think a lot of people talk about it at least not as many people um as there should be talking about it because it's so important to um get your health in check but also not as many people there well there aren't you know not everybody is as comfortable

talking about their shit as I am. If you've been listening to this podcast for really any amount of time, you probably know that I like don't poop. I shit like once a week. So it got to the point for me where I was just like, you know, this is like a funny little like haha staple of my existence that I never poop. But it's also like starting to be an impediment in my life because it's uncomfortable obviously so I found a new gastroenterologist and he actually listened to me if anybody out there I'm sure there are hundreds of you listening that have anxiety and also have IBS when you go to the doctor for a stomach problem and they see on your chart that you have a diagnosed anxiety disorder they just chalk up whatever your stomach problems are to being a part

of your anxiety which is so incredibly frustrating I was thinking like if they make me do another goddamn food journal I'm going to yeet myself into space the amount of times that I have written down what I eat and the doctor just be like oh yeah no that's fine like you shouldn't be having any problems and then I'm dismissed it's like okay well I am having problems so yeah he I went to this guy he listened to me um really like justified my frustration and was like yeah this has been going on for way too long clearly like you haven't been being you know like being given the test that you should be getting let's put you on these two drugs one of them is milk of magnesia if any of y'all have had milk of magnesia oh oh it's so good i feel like i could drink that in a smoothie all

day every day it's very good and it does the trick he also put me on a lower dose of a drug that I used to take that made me shit for like I'm not even kidding y'all this sounds dramatic I was stuck on the toilet for like 12 hours I was like please never give me this drug again but they gave me a lower dose and it has been incredible it's called um I don't think that they make it as Linzess anymore it used to be called Linzess but now it's um I think it's called trulance now anyway it's great but he was also like you know like while we're talking about it like let's get you let's get in there and see what's going on and I I got a colonoscopy and an endoscopy when I was nine years old um because I mean that was anxiety related when I was a child

that's why I was having stomach problems it turned out but I got a colonoscopy and endoscopy when I was a kid and um the worst part of it was the prep which I'll get into but I wasn't so nervous going into this one because I was like if the little anxious nine-year-old me could do this big anxious 31-year-old me can do this too so I wasn't too concerned um but I did uh really benefit from there being like Reddit forums about colonoscopies. Just like being able to talk to people, not talk to people, but hear from people that have like gone through what I was going through. And like, you know, talking about how horrible the prep was. It was nice being able to check in on, you know, what other people's experiences were with it. So I say this to say,

I wanted to talk about my experience with this in case there's anybody that needs to get a colonoscopy or thinks they might need a colonoscopy obviously I can't tell you if you need it or don't need it that's I'm not a doctor but maybe this is like your sign to find a gastroenterologist and see if this is something that they recommend because your colon health is really important it's you know uncomfortable to talk about because people don't like talking about they're shits. There's so many things that can go wrong and you don't need to be feeling like shit all the time, so to speak. So it might be worth it for you to, if you think that you need to go and find a gastroenterologist. So I was also shocked. I was posting about like my prep

experience. I was getting so many messages from people that were like, oh my God, I went through this. This is horrible. This is the worst part. It'll be over soon. So I was surprised at how many people have gotten colonoscopies because they really only recommend it for people over the age of 40. But there are a lot of people under the age of 40 that were messaging me. So maybe it's a lot more common than I thought it was. But either way, I do want to spread the good word right after I did it in case anyone has any questions about it. So let's dive in. So I was prescribed, um, Sutab was the name of my prep. Y'all, I'm just going to throw in a disclaimer here. If you are uncomfortable talking about poop, like I'm going to say,

go ahead and skip the next like five minutes of this episode because I'm about, I'm about to not hold back talking about what, what this experience was like. It was nasty. But, uh, So yes, I was prescribed Suprep and I don't know if I said Suprep or Sutab before, but I was on Suprep. Sutab is the pill version. Apparently Sutab, they have you take 12 pills in the morning and 12 pills at night and they're huge pills. So I was glad they didn't give me that because I can't take pills. Your girl's gag reflex is too strong. But they gave me Suprep and it's the liquid version you put uh you empty like one bottle into this container and then you fill up the rest of the 16 milliliters of liquid with like one of the approved liquids that you can have

hold on i'm getting way ahead of myself here i i forgot about the like the three days bleeding up to this prep so before i had to take this gunk they had me so my my procedure was on Monday. On Thursday of the previous week, I had to start on a low fiber diet. Y'all, when I tell you, I did not know that the majority of what I eat is high fiber. I didn't know what the fuck to eat. I was so lost. I couldn't eat granola. I couldn't eat oatmeal. So like those are my two breakfast things just out the door. You can't eat fruit. You can't eat raw fruit. You can eat cooked fruit but you can't eat raw or cooked vegetables so like you can't have salads or anything it was just there's just a whole list of stuff that you couldn't eat and it was difficult

but I'm glad that I did it because it eventually it made the prep easier so when I did take the soup prep the liquid you can mix the the little bottle that you have to pour into the container with any approved clear liquid so you can't have red or purple dye so you can't you can't drink like red or purple um Gatorade because I guess those colors are high in fiber the more you know so you have to drink it and then you have to drink two more of the containers of just like an approved liquid so 32 ounces within the next hour which doesn't really sound difficult but holy shit I that is a struggle and a half to drink that much liquid I was so full but you down it it tastes like dirty seawater like the worst kind of seawater you know like when you're like looking

down in like a marina and you see all of like the shit that's just kind of floated up from the middle of the water onto the shore that's what it tastes like it tastes like that water a dude that I dated called that dead man's water um and that's what it tasted like it it it varies person to person how long it takes for this stuff to hit for me the first dose took like an hour and a half and I when it hits you it doesn't it doesn't make you like crampy or anything you just know it's time to go and then you just start peeing out of your butt y'all it is the crazy it is the craziest it's so nasty and it's a weird experience because again it's like you're you're having diarrhea but you're not it doesn't hurt like diarrhea does like you don't get cramps it's just kind of happening

so um you like can't go anywhere because when it's when it's time to go it's time to go you can't trust a fart you cannot trust a fart on this thing luckily I didn't luckily I saw that on reddit because i would have shit my pants so fast it was horrible um but it uh it worked really fast you're supposed to shit until it comes comes out clear so um i took my first bottle at three o'clock and then i had to take my second bottle at 12 30 in the goddamn morning imagine and i'm fasting at this point I have only had clear liquids after 12 30 the day before you can only have approved clear liquids like chicken broth but without like particles in it um you can have jello you can have uh like like clear colored gatorade it was really rough so anyway I was

shitting all day and then I had to take another dose of it at 12 30 which meant that I wasn't going to be sleeping. My colonoscopy was at, I had to be there at 645 in the morning. So there was just no, I didn't sleep because I was shitting all night. And you have to just keep shitting until it comes out clear because it's supposed to clear out your colon. They also don't tell you this, but when you're pooping, don't wipe how you normally do, pat. Do some gentle pats. Or if you have a bidet do that just don't your butthole is going to be raw at the end of this um and it was the worst it was the longest goddamn night and you're not allowed to drink water um three hours before the procedure and i was so thirsty that was honestly probably the worst part like that

was probably worse than the prep itself was not being able to drink water it was only for a short amount of time obviously when I woke up they gave me water and that was fine they don't want you to aspirate because they give you like you get put to sleep so they don't want you to have anything in your stomach because you could breathe it into your lungs um but yeah that sucked and then uh I got there in the morning and uh checked in and they brought me back it was a little scary like it felt very um I wasn't nervous until I got there because it was like I don't know like it was one of those I felt like I was in an ER because it was like there were a bunch of different beds that were just behind those curtains so you could hear other conversations going on in other rooms

which is like a very like I don't know it was it's a very overstimulating environment when you're already a tired b your body's tired from shitting all night and c just like I don't know nervous I told him that I told the nurse I was like I didn't I wasn't nervous until right now and he was like you're gonna be fine like you're doing great my nurse was phenomenal he I loved him I need to write a Yelp review he was so warm and kind um he had the most beautiful eyelashes I've ever seen in my life I was like drop the lash routine king I he was really great um he made me very comfortable they gave me a blanket it was very warm um asked a bunch of questions just like when was the last time you ate when was the last time you took Advil oh that was another

thing you can't take Advil you have to take Tylenol which doesn't sound like a big deal but I didn't have Tylenol so I was I had the worst headache of my life from this prep I was so exhausted because you're not your blood sugar's fucked because you're not having any fiber for a few days um and then he put an IV in for saline and then the anesthesiologist came in who was also phenomenal she was a bad bitch she's like she looked probably my age and I'm like gay or bad queen she that I don't even she was so cool and she just like talked me through like you know like what was gonna happen and I signed some sort of waiver I didn't read it I don't remember really anything from that morning I'm gonna be honest and the doctor came in and told me what he was

gonna do he signed a waiver I signed another waiver and then they wheeled me back and oh y'all propofol I want that shit all the time I have never had a better nap that stuff's amazing I was nervous because I'm pretty sure that's like somebody online called it the Michael Jackson milk I thought it was fentanyl that killed Michael Jackson maybe it was fentanyl and propofol I need to look that up but um yeah I mean that stuff knocked me out so fast I she was like you're gonna start to feel sleepy and then I was just like kunk just passed out it was great and then I woke up I felt like I blinked and I woke up I was back in the room that I started out in and they said I was done the doctor came in and told me how it went which again I don't remember I

don't know why they do the whole download after the fact but um they do uh I don't remember anything that he said I think I mean I remember I remember feeling like okay that's good so I knew that he didn't find anything bad they removed two polyps and they sent it in for biopsying and then I found out later on my discharge papers that I have stage one hemorrhoids not a huge shock there that just happens when you're constipated I guess and your girl has been constipated for 15 years so that wasn't a huge shock and then Frank picked me up and I went home and ate granola because it's all that I had wanted for the past four days and then I went to sleep from 9am to 2.30pm. It was beautiful. And then that was it. Like I felt everything was back

to normal. The soup prep did, you know, I'm recording this on Wednesday and I was, I was having like bad poops until yesterday. So that kind of lingered in my system for a little longer than I would have wanted. But otherwise, like I had no after effects of it. It was very, very straightforward it was just it was it was all easy peasy y'all and I would do it again mostly for the propofol it was uh it was a very easy experience I the worst part was the prep obviously a lot of people online say the worst part is the IV because you haven't really been like drinking any water and you're dehydrated from shitting so it's hard for them to find a vein I didn't have any issue with that he stuck me once and that was they found they found a vein right away so I had no issue

with that yeah it was the worst part was absolutely the prep but it is so so so so so important for you to get your health checked out I know a lot of us have IBS most of my friends that have IBS have IBSD which is the diarrhea kind I have IBSC which is the constipation kind but don't let doctors make you feel like you're being ridiculous for going and like you know wanting to talk about your tummy problems because again a lot of doctors will see that you have anxiety and just think that it's an anxiety related thing and IBS is anxiety related but it could also be something else maybe it is just IBS and that's fine I don't want to scare you I'm not saying like everybody that has tummy problems is like on death's doorstep I'm not saying that but if you feel like something

just doesn't feel right about the diagnosis that you have or maybe you don't have a diagnosis yet and you were just like kind of on the fence about it and you have insurance I am I want to emphasize I understand that this kind of health care is a privilege I am so lucky to have insurance that covers this kind of thing not everybody does if you do have the insurance or the means to take care of yourself please please please please please go and get a colonoscopy if you feel like you need one they only recommend it for people over the age of 40 but it's good just to get answers for yourself if you feel like something is going on down under it's a very easy procedure it's just it's a good idea to get these things checked out for you know early detection of

cancer um just like you know screening like just to catch issues before they develop into more serious problems again they recommend them for people over the age of 40 it might be 45 now but i'm pretty sure it's 40 um but you know if you feel like something is happening down there it's a good idea to get it checked out they can also diagnose gastrointestinal issues like IBD which is inflammatory bowel disease so that's like ulcerative colitis or Crohn's disease diverticulosis changes in bowel habits abdominal pain polyp removal like they did for me ongoing monitoring for people that have you know like a history of like colorectal cancer in their family history and then just like you know like getting education on like the things like the

lifestyle changes that you might need to make to make sure that you keep yourself healthy like if you smoke the diet that you have how much you exercise it's just it's a very important protective and preventative measure that I'm surprised they only recommend for people at a certain age so yeah I mean I don't want to it's hard because I feel like I come on here and I like I like sometimes we talk about like medical things and I don't want to like act like I know best because I don't but after doing this for myself from struggling for so long they didn't really it didn't really like answer any questions for me because they didn't really find anything going on down there but it was good for my own peace of mind so I'm glad that I did it I feel

like just I feel good that I know that there isn't anything serious happening I just I super super recommend going I recommend going in the morning I know when I was texting Liz about this she said Daniel Tosh had an episode on his podcast about his colonoscopy and he recommended going in the morning I think it's good so you sleep through like I mean I didn't really I didn't sleep but you sleep through like the most difficult parts of it which is not being able to drink water and just getting it over with early in the day so you don't have to worry about it you don't spend the whole day just being like oh my god I have to get a fucking colonoscopy in a few hours you just do it first thing in the morning oh you know what I really really liked that they did and I know that

it's this is like a liability thing they wouldn't let me or anyone it said like on the discharge papers like you can't take a bus home and you can't take a cab or an uber home because you're like out of it so they want to be sure that like you get home safe and not like trust a stranger with like getting you home I really liked that there was an emphasis on that it's like I feel like a lot of the time when you're out of someone's office you're not their responsibility anymore and I didn't it was it was nice to know that they cared about people's safety afterward because it's like alcohol in that way you know it's like you're you're not you're not supposed to make any big decisions when you're coming off of propofol because your brain is not all the way there

I don't know what accent that was I don't know uh again they didn't really find anything of note while they were in there they biopsied the polyps I'll know in two weeks I'm not concerned about it they were benign in appearance unquote so um I'm feeling pretty confident about it but yeah I just wanted to come on here real quick and chat a little bit about that just in case anyone was curious or had any questions or was on the fence about doing this or you know or maybe you were on the fence about doing it now you're like oh this actually doesn't make a lot of sense for me I don't just follow your gut take care of your health don't let anybody gaslight you out of feeling like how you're feeling and do what feels right for you cool again I know this was a very

very short episode I just wanted to use this opportunity to do a little chit chat about what I did this week um especially while Liz is out of town because again don't know how to conduct myself when she's not near me uh next week I'm either going to be hosting alone again or we're going to take next week off um we'll see how it shakes out uh but once Liz is back we'll be back to your regularly scheduled programming. I love you so much. I'm going to sing. I'll sing. Fuck it. I love you, my, well, still our children. Thank you. Okay. Love you. Bye. Oh, yeah.