The Hoely Hour - E210 Cumversation

Episode Date: December 13, 2024

Cumversation: talking about where you’re going to cum BEFORE sex so everyone is enthusiastically consenting. Amelia has a list of sexual health updates and Liz & Amelia give breakup advice to a listener. And remember: these tits practice the 2nd amendment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

there's a rise in sexual choking among gen z that's because i think gen z is just like this shit looks bleak just take me out while i'm doing something i love because it says experts warn that this practice carries significant risks including brain damage or accidental death and emphasize the importance of education on safe sexual practice give me the bart simpson just take me out welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you

can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour Check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com. Just wearing another baggy sweatshirt. It's the uniform these days. It's the only way to be. I just, I love to wear a big baggy shirt. Me too. Especially a sweatshirt.

It's either that or nothing. Yeah, there's no in between. No. whenever i put jeans on i'm like my my body is like what are we doing comfortable yeah hurting my back yeah for some reason why can't i breathe yeah why do i have a headache everything hurts the second i have to put hard pants on yeah they are hard pants that's such a good way to describe them i've never heard them referred to as hard pants i have heard them referred to hard pants ever since return to office has become a thing for so many companies

that makes sense like i haven't worn hard pants in four years oh my god i got a i got a message today being like um the seattle office is open like officially open i'm like if this is a move to get everybody back in that's crazy yeah it's like oh fuck i'm sure somebody's excited about that no thank you congrats on that i guess um i was about to say put that in an email so i can delete it but they did send in an email so i just need to delete it um i have a few hot topics today hell yeah because i'm full of hot comments they are all talking tits basically which is great because we had hey what what tits aren't talking these days all of them they all got something to say they really do they and they should all tits should they they the first amendment was written

for tits i agree what about and the second amendment my tits can talk and they have guns yeah like in um austin powers yeah yeah um these tits have guns these tits talk back and they have guns that's can we put that on a shirt we absolutely should actually that's a good thing that we got a message asking about merch we haven't had merch in so long but we know we say in our intro we need to change our intro we've been needing to change our intro but we're we're too tired girls yeah that's gonna be the new podcast title too tired girls yeah two tired girls two scared girls I'm just scared and tired that's I'm like am I scared though am I scared I think I've I've exited I've exited my scared era and I'm in my apathetic era I don't

know if I know what it's like to not be scared you know what I mean I think that that's just like an anxiety disorder thing but regardless um if y'all want us to have merch again we'll have merch again it's it's just expensive to host it and we weren't selling anything so that was the issue that's why there's no more merch that was like really transparent but that's the truth so if you guys want it back we'll give it back to you if there are enough requests there's enough requests um but i do like the idea of these tits talking and have guns and shoot bullets um okay i would wear that i would make it in a baby tee and then i would never wear it because i get pit stains and everything that i wear

i'm just imagining like uh i don't know boobs and then there's two guns yeah yeah yeah you know yeah but they would have to be like finger guns so people could like wear them obama can't ban these guns or these tits obama well i miss him that's what my dad would always say he would always say obama can't ban these guns and then he would flex for the last like you know yeah i love that i just watched a um a documentary series that obama narrates and it made me so sad because i miss him so much i know i don't want to miss a president but that's what that's what we've become we really didn't appreciate how i mean for one how boring politics used to be yes but and how fuckable our president used to be not enough people talked about that

not enough no one's talking about it obama was a very sexy president anyway um okay first of all the first thing is not a talking tit it's something that i learned over the weekend and i need you to know as well do you remember rachel dolezal that sounds so familiar she's the woman that was cosplaying as a black woman and oh my god yeah yeah and she was like why do i know that name yeah problematic girl um and to be clear she wasn't cosplaying well if for those who don't know who this person is she wasn't like she was actually cosplaying she was like actually she was she was pretending to be a black woman yeah and was like and like in she was running like black lives matter groups and stuff and like leading like the like black community groups in

her area i was gonna say wasn't she like involved in politics and like the naacp yeah she was like and she she was really doing the whole nine and it came out that she has two white parents and like all of these pictures came out like of her like before she started living this life this it's the most bizarre there's too much to get into look into look into rachel dolezal in so much work to pretend to be a black woman yes and then she tried saying she's like trans racial or something no no no uh-huh get that shit out of here somebody that was with this weekend when we were talking about the thing that i'm about to tell you was saying that she knows somebody that like the girl that i was talking to knows somebody that is that thinks

that he's transracial and he's doing his whole phd dissertation on it he's a white guy but he thinks that he's japanese like he's like a trans that does that is japanese guy what about the guy who like he speaks out against trans people and say says that he detransitioned but he actually wasn't trans at all he thought he was transracial and korean and he got all of that plastic surgery that fucked up his face and he's like yep yep i detransitioned fuck all no you didn't no the only reason he's doing that you got your filler dissolved people thought that people stopped caring about what ollie london was doing and so he had to like find a new grift that's all that it is that's true i mean you can really see where people's values align when they're like

fuck i'm not relevant i need to i need to figure out a new grift so they become a right-wing commentator and it's if you sell out your values for money that's the american dream so yeah you learned it here first good for y'all you did it speaking of the american dream um devastated absolutely devastated that the united health care uh oh yeah i want to get into that has supposedly been caught yeah i mean yeah we'll know more information by the end of the week we will he had a manifesto and everything what if they're pinning it on him they might be but he looks just like the guy i'm like how did they even know that was the guy could they trace he was staying at a hostel yeah i don't know the nypd is like kind of like sucking his dick like

they're just kind of like an like a notoriously like bad did you see the video of them searching uh uh what's the big park central park yeah no the way the nypd searches i put that in air quotes they're just like bumbling around and like wrestling bushes they're not they're not looking at anything they look like they're fighting for their lives to walk on a sidewalk dude no i okay 11 billion dollars a year yeah 11 billion dollars they i but one of my friends works um he's a he's a prosecutor in new york so he has to deal with police like a lot and like the cops will just fuck up a bunch of cases there because they don't want to do their paperwork the nypd is notoriously dumb as fuck they're they're they're horrible anyway back to rachel dole is

all real quick this is just a short thing oh yeah yeah she we i learned that she has an only fans of course she does and it is not like it is not like a light to OnlyFans it's not like a like here's me in lingerie it's like she like sends out like pussy play videos and stuff to people's inboxes Rachel Dolezal she was a professor yeah you know she was she was like a she was a professional and she also I don't know if she's still married but she like was married and has kids and I guess like you know good for I'm gonna support I'm gonna support her and we love sex workers around here but the fact that rachel dolezal is now like what you know you know what i mean i do what the fuck i don't know how to put it into words me neither

how to like it's not okay but it's okay i think it is i we're i think we just live in like that that sounds like a fucking mad lib first of all uh yeah absolutely does and i think we're just living in unprecedented times but it is really bizarre to be living in a time where you can so blatantly see that not not just this person specifically but like so many of the people that we've just mentioned will they don't have any values they have nothing that i feel like having like values and being connected to your values is what keeps you rooted you know what i mean absolutely like you feel you feel connected to the earth because you understand what your purpose is and you make sure that your life is living in alignment with those things and maybe

your values will change as you get older and that's like that's just life right your things change as you get older but like when you don't have any sort of connection to them then you'll sell out for anything yes right if you stand for nothing you'll fall for anything it's true fuck i'm 14 and this is deep um this is her main picture would you like to describe it for the crowd oh my god okay well i'm gonna discuss she's still she's still doing blackface yeah she's still she's still blackfishing um she has braids um lip filler and fake eyelashes um and then she is wearing a jumpsuit that the front is covered it's a it's like a a head-to-toe jumpsuit her arms aren't covered but that doesn't matter um and it's like fishnets on the backs of her thighs

and it's a lot going on and i just think it's kind of like fucking insane that she's still blackfishing yeah i don't know yeah i just welcome to my only fans page where i post creative content and give fans a more intimate look into my life i want to hear about what the fuck is going on in your head yeah that's the intimate look into your life i want i need to know why why i just need to know why period why are you still pretending to be black yeah first of all i think basic at this point can she really go back i think that she probably could have like saved her name a little bit if she would have you know what i mean it's like yeah i fucked up and like i made i i made a bad call doing that for my entire life but i would

like to write it i think that she would have been able to heal from it but she like she leaned the fuck in and now i think it's too late yes i but she should really change her name and stop doing this nobody would recognize her i think she lives in washington maybe she wanted to do this to try and like remove anything else about her name previously yeah but i think now it's the sentiment is just hey does everyone remember that professor that used to that pretended she was black and then got caught pretending to be black right now she has an only fans yeah that's the whole that's the whole conversation that's the tweet it's that's she has 60 000 likes on this though good for her i wonder how much money she's making it's ten dollars a month yeah that's that's one of those

subscriptions that you just forget about you know what i mean yeah you just kind of let it keep running i'm like wow how many how many months did i pay for my human design and i used it once i just canceled that recently i was like why does that sound familiar yeah i told you to cancel it yeah yeah you were there when i can't yeah i was like i'm canceling mine too i forgot that i had it this is sponsored by what is it nerd wallet or what's the app that looks at all your rocket rocket money i love it's not sponsored but it could be it could it could be i use rocket money but that's all i'll say until i keep planning on using rocket money it's actually fantastic because i'm like i feel like i probably do still have subscriptions that i don't need i'm thinking

about canceling my amazon prime subscription what do you mean well because they don't deliver shit when they say they're going to anyways there's like there's a lot of uh investigation into if amazon prime is actually like worth it at all because they usually will say like this is prime members pay this or whatever it's free shipping but they just mark up the price that's so it's not and then they don't meet their delivery deadlines that they say in their description like if you have prime you'll get in this amount of time and then they never do that but that's i mean that's i'm one person you know i want it now okay shall i move on to the rest of to my talking tits i just had to share that with you because i had to know i mean that was great

that was great news good or well shocking news yeah um and and what great news isn't shocking that's so true all good news is shocking but not all shocking news is good fuck all good news is yeah unless it's something that you were expecting and it was good like actually no i can't really think of an example where that would be the case like oh our food is here i'm shocked that's good news even though you're expecting it and it's still shocking have you seen um do it do revenge it's pretty cute i i think it's on netflix or something it's on one of those streaming services but it has um the girl from riverdale and maya hawk but there's a lily reinhardt no the other one the veronica is that the redhead no dark hair i see i've never watched her name's camila

mendez i believe you because no because i don't know camilla cabello and sean mendez were dating and she was like i'm not their child and that's the only reason i remember her name well anyways there's this scene where she like has plotted to do something and then it happens and she's like in public and she's like i'm shocked this is shocking news i am shocked so i'm always thinking about that like if something happens that i'm not surprised by i'm like this is shocking news i'm shocked we're all looking for the guy who did this um okay so um i uh here's some sexual health and safety trends okay so apparently safe there's a rise in sexual choking among gen z that's because i think gen z is just like this shit looks bleak just take

me out while i'm doing something i love i was about to say because it says experts warn that this practice carries significant risks including brain damage or accidental death and emphasize the importance of education on safe sexual practice give me the bart simpson just take me out just take me out one of my friends said um a guy she hooked up with he just went straight for the choke no no conversation no no that's frightening no ramping up to it he just went straight in for the choke i would be i would think that that was it for me yeah she was i was like you can't just go for the choke no especially if you're just hooking up with this guy you don't know well and and i was surprised too i was like damn he seems like he would be a good hookup and

she was like no it was bad that blows yeah he went he went straight for the choke and then she said um she's like he also cried at the end i was like did he actually cry when he came and then she was like no but it sounded like a cry oh was it like a oh potentially i want more details like was he like my mother never loved me like uh that was and it's so disappointing because you're like i don't know i when she told us that she hooked up with him i was like good for you he's hot and she's like no got the ick after that blows have you ever just got you've gotten the ick like after hooking up with someone yes you're like damn that was so bad i'm not even yeah it's like post they're not clarity yeah like your orgasm face was so ugly that i am no longer attracted

to you that slack jaw thing you had going on it wasn't about it that it would be it's rough to be a man and everyone's saying how hard it is y'all carry the burden you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders we get it no one understands uh do you know what stealthing is yeah stealthing when you take the condom off okay see i hadn't heard that phrase that's rape yep for anyone just to clear things up real quickly so there's no confusion that is rape well good news liz it's being recognized as a crime good um this non-consexual removal of condoms during intercourse is gaining legal recognition as a form of sexual assault countries like the netherlands and states such as california have enacted laws against it highlighting its association with manipulative

personality traits i mean isn't that interesting yeah well and and it's rape because like sure maybe you consented to having sex but you didn't consent to having unprotected sex right and then that puts you at a whole other risk of like getting stis um getting having an unplanned pregnancy and that and then that puts you at even more risk but if you're in a state that doesn't have like right abortion protection you could literally die yeah yeah it's fucked but now it's a crime in a lot of places so that's good probably not should be a crime in every fucking place absolutely that should be on a federal level but of course it's not if you know a man who is stealth um here's what you're gonna do you're gonna get a gun this is gonna be my advice you're gonna get a gun

and whatever you choose to do with that you could print a gun that's what the yeah that's what the ceo shooter did you know he he was 20 steps ahead that is such a wild i still can't believe that okay but we'll talk about that later um have you ever been come inside of without consent because that is shocking no that's what um i don't believe so the poet did that to me not great did i ever tell you that i think you did tell me yeah it was not cool but then it was like i told him like you didn't ask after and he was like oh shit i thought like that's just like what you do like i've never not done that that's fucking weird yeah i've and i think that's fucking weird because i've never not had that yeah i guess like like

same everything else has been like it's pre-consensually agreed upon yeah yeah yeah because right it had been a conversation right a conversation if you will a conversation that'll be the title of this pod this episode conversation all right moving along um have you heard of the boy sobriety movement boy sobriety oh is this just why is this is it just the same thing as 3 4 b i don't know so it says hope woodward she's a 27 year old comedian initiated a movement called boy sober abstaining from dating and sex for a year oh this trend particularly among gen z emphasizes into intentionality in relationships and has gained traction on platforms like tiktok

and then the the next social movement on this list is rejection of hookup culture which is an interesting thing to be back to back with yeah yeah um yeah the shift reflects a desire for more meaningful connections it feels like everybody is it's starting the pendulum is swinging back to like wanting intentional relationships yeah well I think that um I don't know like the hookup culture thing i see a lot of people talking about it and uh i do think that the like not deep personally like you're not treating other people as like a human yeah you know right and that doesn't feel good no especially when you're doing something intimate yeah it's like i don't fuck all my friends you know do you you know how like after world war ii no was it after

yeah after world war ii there was the baby boom because everybody was like fucking like crazy because the war was over do you think there was a similar effect with covid or do you think covid made people like once we were allowed to go back outside you know what i mean i have no idea like i don't know either and i haven't heard anything about it but i would think people would be so horny once they were like able to get back out of the house i heard well i i've heard a variety of things of like okay more people started drinking during covid but some people then got sober during covid because they realized that they were alcoholics um damn and then i mean everyone has anxiety and depression now yeah everybody hates each other and that's why i

again we're bringing this episode back to um what we're all about which is the ceo killer yes we're back here again he really united us as a country and i really hope that we can keep this sense of unity among the 99 it's gonna be really interesting to see what comes out about this guy because apparently like he's not like he's like a really like kind of like fucked up dude i mean which makes sense he 3d printed a gun and then tracked down this guy like you're not like a normal person and like he had a whole manifesto on him but like it's going to be interesting to see what we learn more and more about this guy as stuff comes out because i think it's going to be interesting to see how people's opinions of him change yeah and i mean i think that's also like another important

thing like we all agree on this one issue yeah so i think having like one thing to unite everybody is a better way to start approaching like understanding we have the same grievances it was so i saw this post today um of somebody took screenshots of the comments on ben shapiro's video when he was like talking about like this is not okay to be like doing like talking about the death of a man in like such a celebratory way and all the comments are like ben listen like i'm usually with you on shit but you're wrong you're so out of touch like i'm so sick of hearing rich people talk about this and i think that's so interesting they're like well i'm a rich person who could be shot yeah and you should be oh shit you i mean a lot of there are a lot of people

uh-huh i'm gonna stop talking it's probably a good idea this but i but i hear i hear you i'm holding space for you and defying gravity thank you yeah um and i'm here for you i appreciate that um would i ever shoot a ceo no i don't think i would ever hold a gun honestly i know for being honest well i mean maybe a 3d printed one would feel less scary and these tits and these tits i mean i wouldn't shoot a ceo but i don't know what my tits have to say right and they have a mind of their own and the first and second amendment so yeah they got the first and second amendment these tits practice the second amendment that's the shirt that's the shirt that's the one not me just my tits yeah yeah that's the back we're like a really small print

underneath it just to make sure that everyone knows that we're democrats we're not big in a 2a um i think that that's it for my talking tits thanks for coming along for the ride that was beautiful thank you thank you so much um we do have some listener emails don't we we do and i live for them uh we have an enemy of the pod there's also side note we got some emails that i don't want y'all to think that we're ignoring we have we have plans for them that we just have to schedule into our calendars yeah we have a plan we have we have a plan that we're both very excited about that we've been talking about for a while so we're not ignoring your emails oh I have one other thing to say before we get into um one of our enemy of the pod emails I love when

you have things to say and the the one thing that I have to say is I have uh been trying to be not on scrolling as much love it for mental health reasons and especially not just for my mental health of like i'm consuming all this stuff it's making me sad or whatever but because it has sucked up so much of my time that the end of the day happens and i haven't done the shit i need to do and it's not even that much shit that's so real it just and and it makes me feel anxious because i get the the scroll itchies where i'm like i need more but i hate this yep um which i think that's just addiction yes i was about to say um so i finally was like i've had enough i've fucking had enough of this and i looked into apps that will lock my social

media apps and um i have i have to recommend screen zen oh i like that name it's free they only ask for a donation um and it'll give you access for life so it's like you don't have to donate but they would appreciate it holy shit so i donated five bucks and they have so many settings i i tried a few different ones and i love this one they have so many settings and so i have it set so i can open each app five times um but it measures my time across all of them oh so i can only do 10 minutes at a time and then it kicks me off and i've customized the message it tells me which it i've told myself like it's time to pick something to do you pick a hobby go work out like go do something creative go do something else so that's awesome have you noticed a difference in

how you feel yeah i feel significantly better i love that i was telling my therapist that it's also made my brain it's made my memory shit because i'm just like we're consuming so much information that it's like more information than anyone's ever had access to right we're not at any other time yeah so i can't remember all of the things that right i've learned or like consumed right and then you can't remember things that you actually want to remember about like like in your everyday life yeah totally so it's helped a little bit i've had i've been doing this for five days okay well that's good that you've noticed a difference in just five days it gives you a streak oh so gamifying it i love that but i highly recommend if anyone's like i can't let

my phone keep running my fucking life hell yeah see i need that for um this card game i've been playing on my phone teach you i gave liz the whole the whole rundown okay i actually want to talk about this it's gonna i'll take 15 seconds of your time excuse me do you have do you have 15 seconds to spare i learned how to play this chinese card game in chicago i've already talked to you about this but i'm gonna look at you while i'm saying it like you haven't heard this before um and it's so not popular here. I can't find the card game anywhere. I can't find it anyway. It's like on corners of the internet. You can order it. And then there's this app and I'm completely addicted to it. And I have a teach you bully. His name is Valderrama. And he always tells me I did a bad

job, but it's making me a better player. So I think that he's like Mr. Miyagi-ing me a little bit. And I love him for that. You're a teach you protege. And I can't stop. And because it's so niche i can only play at certain times of the day when like people in like south korea are awake he is like russia someone's grandpa yeah i think so too he's the best player in the game though he's level 39 i'm a measly level six you're gonna be you're gonna be running the game if anybody plays teach you or like has heard of this can you message me because i just like need more like my friends that play it are sick of hearing me talk about it you know what i mean okay um we are gonna read an enemy of the pod email um this one just is titled enemy of the pod so we're not spoiling

anything hi girlies here's my contribution to enemies of the pod the day my mom's boyfriend died of brain cancer i was there to say my goodbyes and watched as they took his body away it was very hard and i was comforting my mom while updating my boyfriend on what was happening after everything had settled down i went over to my boyfriend's place and instead of asking me if i was okay or offering me a hug or any basic form of comfort he instead started venting to me about his work day and pretended like this was a normal day and I wasn't expected to be miserable I had to ask him to give me a hug and I just broke down it took me two months after that to realize I actually didn't like this man and broke up with him lol love you both I have so many thoughts

about this it is truly the worst feeling in the world to be dating somebody or even just friends with somebody that like like is somebody that you tell everything to that you have to be concerned about how they're going to respond because it might not meet your expectations you know what I mean it's like you don't want to share anything like exciting with them because they might just like make it about them or like you don't want to share like sad news with them because they might just like make it about that make it about them like not like comfort you in the way that you need and like you don't want to have to ask for comfort and it's so it's like especially at our big age of like over 18 I would say like you we're not in the business of teaching people how

to like be you know so it's like you either accept this person for how they are or you like remove yourself from the situation because it's like we're not here to teach people yeah I feel like at max like 25 is last the oldest the oldest age you should be gonna give you until your brain's done forming yeah and then it's it's you got to fix it and that it's all on you it's all on you it is it is so frustrating though i think we've all met someone like that who just like is like oh i love that you mentioned that because now i'm going to talk about myself yeah or like oh my god i had such a long day like oh yeah sorry about your mom's boyfriend that's fucking crazy but like i had you come over and he doesn't even like say like how are

you doing right i mean some people might just be bad at like you know like that kind of like connection with somebody maybe like having that kind of like deep interaction which i can understand but like try like say something yeah you know i don't know or just like what do you need from me or even ask how your mom's doing like because it's her mom's boyfriend yeah yeah yeah right like yeah or like how can i support you during this that's that is such an easy thing to ask it's such an easy thing to ask yeah get get her mom flowers yeah i don't know damn what are we gonna name him this guy bro the first um larry was the first one that came to my mind but larry felt too much like

dad yeah name yeah do you know a young guy named larry do you know a young guy named larry i know a young guy named laray laray yeah that's fancy larry yeah fancy larry having this conversation about we're just going to call him larry and he's now inducted into the enemies of the pod hall of fame and i'm glad that you got out of that relationship but for some reason this conversation reminded me that me me and liz this weekend we went to see billy eilish it was the best and guess who the fuck i saw at billy eilish i can't believe i didn't bring this up my ex my my ex of eight years i have not seen him since september of 2020 when we hooked up he was cheating on his partner with amelia yep and lying about it yeah and being

shady and suspicious he was at billy eilish this weekend it was i i have never felt like i'm seeing a ghost so much in my life it will and i was like i was well i was a little high too when that happen and I went into like kind of panic mode because I was like well what do we what do we do yeah yeah yeah I felt like we needed to do something well that's what made me that's what reminded me when we were talking about this because you were like how can we support you right now and it was like that was so nice well I I was like well we need to know because I'm not going to just ignore that this like big thing happened it was crazy like because it's shocking it was absolutely shocking I'm shocked I turned it was so perfect storm that we were in the line

with him when we were like what are the chances what are the chances because i couldn't open up my app to get the tickets that that stalled us for a while and then i there was no reason that i should have turned around and seen him when i did i just like happened to turn around and this is a huge place too yeah it's the climate pledge arena so yeah climate pledge arena is giant 20,000 people give or take a lot of people what are the chances that and then that wasn't even the only entrance to walk no there were multiple entrances we were we showed up at like a really random time too it was just all very bizarre but once he saw me I think he saw me before I saw him and he like exited the line and then I didn't see him after that but it was I truly thought I felt like I

was seeing a dead person it was a very bizarre experience but then after I got the shakes out of me a little bit I was it was fine it was just it was just a shock but that's an update that's a life update I hadn't seen him in four years that's crazy I don't even know what I would do if i ran into like at least a couple of my exes yeah right we were just talking about how i never run into anyone and i've run into the one that doesn't even live here it's just crazy it's just crazy um anyway it was good i think that i needed to see him to know that i'm i'm fine if i do you know because i'd always i'd always been so afraid of running into him my therapist was like she always says the anticipation is worse than the thing and it's true i'm like would i even be able

to recognize the people i've dated i think in person now i think that it's me looking at his instagram so recently was good because like i knew what he looked like and it took away some of the shock yeah you know um yeah otherwise i don't know because his hair his hair is so different like his haircut changed so motherfuckers needs to be stay wearing a hat and that's all i'll say oh my god i love you so anyway that was my update um should we read another email do we have another email to read yeah i'm certain that we do i'm like what else have we read so unfortunately this one was sent on october 30th um and it's called how to have a friendly breakup and i would like to apologize to

the author of this email because um they've written us a handful of emails and they're always entertaining and uh i'm sorry that we didn't uh see this one sooner i think we marked it as red and it was not it was in fact not red yeah that was the issue yeah so but we're reading it now thank you for writing it um and i'm assuming that this friendly breakup has already probably happened so update us um but you know we love giving uh we love giving advice so let's go hey girls hope you're good it seems like i feel the need to email you once a year to ask for life advice so here i am again we love it just to give you some context i've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now we broke up once for a couple of months but eventually we got back

together i sent a happy birthday text he came by and asked to get back together the reason we broke up was because i said i never wanted to have children but his dream is to be a father eye roll emoji i'm 29 he's 22 so you know his frontal lobe is not done yet that's why i still take it easy with some stuff because i understand he's still dumb oh my god he's young young yeah he's a baby a baby a baby anyway he's he's a good guy just you know he is a regular guy he's not perfect but for sure could it could be worse god the bar man the bar is so but also should i put myself through a mildly toxic relationship no i mean mildly because we clearly don't have much in common we don't really like the same music movies food or places to go which is important for a

healthy life together god i'm getting older and tired of doing drugs drinking and partying until morning but he's still in that phase of life which i get and respect and even encourage him to do with his friends but i don't have energy to do that every weekend anymore and it bothers him a lot when i don't go also i'm an introvert he sees it as a problem that could and should be fixed i explained more than once how it works but he doesn't get it we don't live together but he spends the weekends at my place he asked for us to move in together but i denied because deep down i know it won't work right we have a daily we have daily discussions about trivial stuff like the differences on how we do some chores pronounce some words etc i'm not playing the victim here i

have ocd and i'm pretty aware about how insufferable i can be when it comes to cleaning my apartment i have my share of wrongs as well to add some more context he never believes what i say about history facts the world my work field and stuff like that that's such a guy thing yeah it's just like a 22 year old guy i'm gonna poke holes in everything you're saying not to play devil's advocate the devil has enough advocates well we just view the scientific method differently and I always feel like he thinks I'm dumb we talked a lot we talked a lot about this and how it influenced us on breaking up the first time and it did get better for a while when we got back together but everything is coming back and it's annoying for both of us I see our

relationship as a dead end he's too young and reckless and I'm in another mindset at this point in my life he doesn't have a career in mind we don't have similar plans for the future and the thing about having kids is a subject we still avoid we basically have nothing in common and we can't agree on anything i feel guilty for reaching out to him when we broke up because i knew what would happen but i was going through some stuff and felt the need for his support by my side i think our relationship is past its due date but we're not actively fighting or going through anything that could justify the breakup it's just tiring and feels pointless to keep pretending is gonna work in the long term i know we have to end things but i keep waiting for a

good reason to come up and it never does i like having a boyfriend and love him i love him but that's not enough i'm at a stage where i want to build a long-term relationship with someone and i know it won't work with him i don't want things to end on a bad note between us how would you advise me to do it how do i gather the courage and strength to do it even though i only email once a year i still listen to you every week i love you my guardian angels oh that's so fucking cute um okay all right i feel i feel qualified to answer this question because um for a while like before i met mr liz i dated someone for nine months who i like literally forgot i dated because it was just like not really a problematic relationship but it it was one that you just know

in your gut when it's not right and obviously like you've listed all of these reasons that you know it's not gonna work and at the end of the day they just like it's how you feel like um there doesn't need to be a good reason to end a relationship like yeah if at the end a good enough reason is that you don't want to be in it anymore yeah that you don't see a future together even though you do like love and care for this person like those things aren't just gonna go away yeah you know yeah i mean there are things that get a little bit quieter over time and even though you want things to end in a like they can still be friendly but you might not be friends after right i mean like people break up all the time over like the kids issue you know like

time and time again people will break up just for that and then that's that's what they cite you know and then so you have that yeah on top of like and again you might have already like made the decision you might have already moved on from this but this is also helpful for people I think just in general like waiting longer when you're past your like expiration date on a relationship is like such a perfect recipe for making it not an amicable breakup because you're just going to keep resenting each other more and more and more as time goes on so I mean it's easier said than done just be like break up with him but like if you're trying to avoid animosity sitting on it and waiting for it to just kind of like die out or like i know some people myself included that

have just like like wrote it out until they break up with you yeah it's easier check out of the relationship until they do it and that's and that sucks for them yeah like the the the nicest thing you can do for someone that you are ending a relationship with just because you know it's not right for you is to be honest with them not like these are the things that are your shortcomings from my perspective because I think the most important thing to me when I decided to break up with that person it was hard because I was like there's nothing wrong with our relationship and I'm like he's a great person so that's why it was so it felt so conflicting right but I know myself well enough to know how I want to feel in a relationship and I wasn't excited like I had

never really been excited he was just like cute and fun yeah and and that was enough for me at the time right and um i had been talking to some of our friends um there were a couple i was talking to them about it and i was explaining just some of the things that i wish that he would do um i was like the example that i can think of the most is um he lived close to the bus stop that i would get off at and i would have to walk pretty far from the bus stop to my home and he it was downpouring and i wasn't wearing the right shoes for it i was wearing um like flats or something um and i was like fuck it's raining and i have to walk like through this like torrential downpour home and i'm not wearing like boots or anything yeah and he was like that sucks but he

could have picked me up and driven me home you know yeah it's like little logical things that i'm like you have a car and you live down the street you could have just offered me a ride right i just and i don't want to have to ask someone or tell them i want them to have just kind of that thoughtfulness yeah just like consideration and then my friend pointed out that the things that i i was like he doesn't meet my needs and she's like your needs might be different than someone else's needs so your needs might be different than someone who is the right person for him and i was like oh that's so true yeah like because it's so easy to kind of make it about yourself when you're in this kind of this decision making headspace of like i know

i need to end this relationship but i don't know how and i feel bad and you're like but he's not meeting my needs and it's it's like not so black and white yeah in that way when you are thinking of the other person too like like if i were in his shoes i wouldn't want to be with someone who is debating if they wanted to break up with me every day absolutely just leave yeah so i think the the kindest thing that you can do to someone when you know that you don't want to be in a relationship with them anymore is to just break up with them yeah and you it doesn't need to be cruel it can just be like i i don't see us having a life together we're too different we don't want the same things and like you you would want him to go on is to have the things that he wants right

you know he has so much like of his 20s left to live like like she cited it that's why i also think he's probably like she'll change her mind yeah she's getting older so she's probably gonna be like i want kim yeah yeah right but he's also in this phase of like drinking and doing drugs and partying and like he wants to party he needs to to see your introversion as something that needs to be fixed is that's also not gonna work no like if you're an introvert you're you have and always will be right you know you're you're gonna have that part of you inside of you forever the part that wants to be like i just i don't want to like let everybody in all the time i don't need to be the center of attention right i i don't know like i always give mr liz the opportunity

to opt out of something because he's an introvert right and like i don't take it personally if he's like yeah can i think about it or like i'm just gonna stay home or i'm gonna go do something else right with his other friends like yeah you're not trying to change it about him yeah totally yeah no you're right i mean everything you're saying the older i get to the more i'm like i'm there are some things about me that i'm just simply not they're not gonna change yeah i can't teach an old dog new tricks that's what they say I feel like I stopped changing like integral parts of myself when I turned like 16 like I'm still like to my core the same person that I was when I was like 16 obviously like big things have changed but like you can't change like

core tenets about someone yeah you know you just can't and that's good in a lot of ways unless they're like you know like pathological things that need like medication that's a different but like but like your beliefs and like what were you saying before like the things that like anchor you to like the world and like keep you grounded you know like it's just if you if you're misaligned with somebody on those things you're miss you're just misaligned you're just misaligned you know and if it's not something that the other person is going to accept about you then that's your answer also how they react to like you breaking up with them is gonna tell you a lot oh yeah so you can go into it with the intentions of being friendly and like

hopefully being kind of a mutual breakup but if they if they're gonna not take that well or if they're gonna take it too personally uh and blow up on you for breaking up with them or beg you to be with them yeah it's not gonna work it's also important to remember too like you can't be in charge of how they feel like that that's their work to do how they respond to it or how they feel it's gonna it's really hard when you care about somebody to not like want to like check in and make sure they're okay and like try to like tiptoe it's like that's you already have so much shit to deal with with just managing yourself you can't control how somebody feels or acts after you do this you know it's that's their stuff and I think like removing that

responsibility from yourself is easier said than done but it's like it's just another thing off your plate you don't have to worry about you know yeah when you accept that it's like this is their thing this is their shit to deal with you know what i mean yeah i'm making sense i feel like i'm gassed no i think that you are making sense thanks for writing in yeah let us know if you already um did did the thing so um our spotify wrapped came out and it was really cool i don't it was pretty did you see it no i didn't oh my god i need to watch it it's it's cool um we're in like 61 countries i can't even i can't name 61 countries i don't i think i could probably name 40 countries and that feels like you know that's a lot of countries like that's so fucking

cool to me yeah maybe i maybe it's more no i don't even want to try that's really gonna i'm gonna show my whole ass if i try but we got an email about somebody who had us as their top podcast oh and it says the subject is just an expression of gratitude from a listener hi liz and amelia i only discovered you guys this year and as you can see you're not what i typically listen to but you're you've quickly become my favorite and for context like the rest of their podcasts are like sports podcasts oysters clams and cockles i don't know what that is but the other ones look like sports podcasts um you're hilarious endlessly entertaining and even though this isn't necessarily always your intention very educational too i appreciate the good vibes the

crazy stories and how vulnerable you're willing to be going back to your some of your earlier episodes it's been awesome to see your growth as both podcasters and in your own personal journeys in the least parasocial way possible thanks for all the hard work and for the hours of entertainment that is just the nicest goddamn thing i think that we like really needed that it's okay this is like this is gonna sound corny but like also by the way oysters clams and cocktails um is a dune prophecy podcast oh dune like the movie yeah but prophecy dune prophecy oh they cover different tv shows dune prophecy is a show on hbo oh um in this household we call it space grannies oh love it have you seen dune no you need to see i know i know i hate you sound

like every every guy no i know but you need to see you guys have made me want to see dune yeah definitely watch dune and then dune 2 and then dune prophecy okay i love it dune prophecy is very interesting you know because you would love doing prophecy it's witchy oh okay yeah love it um what i was going to say about this email is this sounds corny but i mean it with my whole heart like y'all pull through for us like when we need it the most like we've had so many moments where we feel like stalled you know and then like when we're like having a conversation like about that we'll get like the kindest email from y'all like it's it's bizarre and like this email came at one of those times too like literally 10 minutes after we were texting i texted amelia i

was like we didn't get any tags for like top podcasts this year because usually we get a few yeah and that's always really nice to see yeah and like we get really excited and then i was like we didn't get any this year and then like 10 minutes before the end of the day we got an email it was it's just like y'all y'all have some sort of you're just always we're all connected we just love you it means a lot but when you guys like reach out to us like that so thank you so much for doing that and thanks for listening to us more than you listen to the dune prophecy podcast that's pretty cool although i might start listening to that and house of r is another one that i've never heard of but it looks it looks like murder similarly house of r i'm gonna look

that one up too explore your favorite fictional universes with their signature deep dives into everything from game of thrones star wars so it's another like rewatch podcast it sounds like love it well this is a rewatch podcast about people's sex we're re-watching you guys fucking i'm so sorry i i felt that coming out of me at a speed that i couldn't stop and you're like i know i don't want to be saying this yeah it's already coming yeah sometimes my mouth works faster than my brain anyway should we uh should we call it yeah okay we love you we love you our children i think that one sounds like it could be in a butter commercial you know absolutely or like a coffee cut a coffee commercial little folgers commercial

oh my god yeah the best part of waking up is the holy hour in your butt i didn't know how that one was gonna okay bye i'm happy with the direction it went