The Hoely Hour - E217 Taking Matters Into My Own Ass

Episode Date: February 21, 2025

The man in your life has decorative throw pillows? Someone cooked here. The girls discuss “the grandmother theory” of evolution, as well as Trump causing a chlamydia scare in Illinois. Did you know fashion is political? And we aren’t talking about that chick that always wears MAGA dresses to the Met Gala. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

we were cooking with fire and now we're cooking with gas you know what i mean farts farts now we're cooking with farts welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at the holy hour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com i look like diplo with these headphones on what's up sluts is that our new intro

welcome back sluts there's something about the word whores that just feels so much meaner than sluts and at the end of the day they mean the same thing Amelia's wearing headphones today and she's talking a lot quieter than usual I'm so aware of what I sound like welcome to my world last time I wore headphones I sounded like I was like a recording on NPR I was like hello everyone hello welcome back to the holy hour hey do you want to analyze yourself even more than you already do

start a podcast and listen to your own voice yeah you want to start to question everything you've ever said or done start a podcast and you know what start video recording that podcast maybe your ex's mom will listen there's no reason I'm saying that

I wonder if my ex's mom listens there's no reason to say that no reason at all we we are recording in a different way than we used to record which since this is an audio medium um i don't think that's necessarily exciting for uh regular listeners but it's exciting for us because we're recording with video on each of our laptops separately so i don't know if i should look at you on my screen or in person i know disorienting well i look at the i look at the camera when i'm trying to make a face yeah when i'm trying to make a face and cheat out i'm also

looking at myself i'm not looking at you on here i'm looking at myself on here because i am narcissist and this is my little you have a mirror yeah my my river my reflection i don't like how i look in headphones you know i don't like how i look in headphones either better because you look cute in headphones hearing hearing yourself is important in recording i was scrolling through podcast subreddits and they're like you need to be wearing headphones yeah i was like everyone needs headphones in the podcast this feels like the same kind of feeling that i have when i wear lipstick like whenever i wear lipstick i feel like i'm like playing in my mom's makeup you know it's like i shouldn't be doing that it's like giving a steering wheel to a baby

in the back of a car i like it i think you look cute thank you i just feel like an imposter i do want to do this a little bit get more of the top of your head top of my head it's ridiculous did you ever did you like was that video the can i guess your number yeah did it permeate my entire middle school absolutely why is that is it just because there wasn't anything like that at the time i i think i think there's a lot of reasons i think um it's because that man was played by a like portraying this character and I think she was also probably like making fun of a type of man that she had encountered before totally um so I think that's why and I think it's because we haven't seen women making fun of men in that capacity like previously like yeah that's true it

wasn't a super common thing to see sketch comedy shows where women were portraying men it was more so like it's always way more common to see men dressing up as women that's true no you know see I all these very good points made all around the the like just sheer size of this like meme at the time was insane like I feel like we haven't I mean we've seen some things since then we also didn't have that like we didn't really have anything like that totally I mean I guess we didn't really have anything like it's not like TikTok where or other areas of the internet where everything has such a short life cycle and quick lifespan like when I look at videos that I downloaded from TikTok in 2020 and the difference between that type of content then and like the

content we see now yeah they're so different so different yeah I know that's so true just keeping up with it is hard and some of it's like the old stuff I look at I'm like that's not funny I don't think it's funny anymore or entertaining it's very fascinating I mean looking back on the videos that I would make in 2020 and I thought were like so like I was like on my fucking shit I'll look back on it now and be like I want to know what ones you're talking about just like my videos like my dating app videos like I didn't edit them well like now if there's like any gap between cuts I cut the gap out you know so it's just like quick one and I didn't used to do that so i watch it and it's just like well i think it's also like a learning thing totally but i

thought i was like fucking cooking you know what i mean i mean think about our early podcast episodes so true we thought we were cooking so true we really did we really did and you know in some ways we were and we still do we were cooking with fire and now we're cooking with gas you know what i mean farts farts now we're cooking with farts uh so we were discussing something earlier that we were like oh we should talk about this on the podcast um speaking of cooking and cooking with gas and farts um mr liz had posed this question to me a while ago of what in a man like if you were dating a man you had just started dating a man what in his gross gross um we both live with our boyfriends our very great great partner

fantastic boyfriend not to brag um but if you started dating a man and you went to his home what would you like look around and see and be like a woman did this a woman lived here a woman helped you do this whatever it's and he referenced the walter white meme of someone's cook someone cooked here yeah so what would have you be like someone cooked here so what i had said was um if he had curtains because name a straight man who didn't have a woman in his life tell him to hang up curtains yeah in some capacity mr liz doesn't like curtains and he they've grown on him why why doesn't he like curtains that's my question i don't know it's because it's so he likes them in the bedroom because blackout curtains right of course dating me is like

dating a vampire and that's also like evolved though because like yeah i all of the men that i dated didn't have curtains including frank hung over after like an early date that you had you know before you guys have like gotten to know each other and all you do is drink because you're nervous i had i had a the light comes in you're hung over you're like why the fuck don't you have curtains because i had a frank's house specific sleep mask because i remember that yeah that i kept there that was like that was how i knew that i was getting comfortable because those are not sexy they're just like like bras on your face so besides curtains like nice hand soap that is like in a pump that it didn't get sold in oh like a like a hand soap dispenser that you get

from like target or something exactly exactly that feels very like either your mom taught you this or an ex taught you this because and that's not just like i know there are men that have like i'm not saying that men don't they're not able to like i just i just don't think that like men develop um their own taste in like decor like acknowledging or noticing when something is nice until they're a little bit older yes absolutely so yeah like i know that mr liz would not have curtains if i didn't live here couch cushions that's another one couch cushion like like like decorative pillows like i i don't think that i really ever dated a guy that had a decorative pillow he like it would either be like a if i needed a pillow on the couch he would

like bring me a pillow from his bed that's not what i want no give me a couch pillow it's different yeah i don't want i don't want your tempur-pedic pillow on the couch with me it's just weird surprisingly mr liz and his roommate did have pillows on their couch really yeah good for them and i don't think that they had been washed until they were dog sitting and the dog had um she had some poop left on her uh on her bum and she got it all over the pillows and i was like you know what she did gross but thank god she got them to wash these that dog was like i need to do something about these gross yeah she's like i'm taking matters into my own hands yeah matters into my own ass i'm taking matters into my own butt yeah um another thing that i don't know if

this is like a someone cooked here thing but i was always surprised by it was a top sheet interesting millennial men like they they could not like they i've never met a millennial man personally that understands the importance of a top sheet here's the thing i'm a top sheet hater why was i because i could have got our whole friendship without knowing i i do sleep with the top sheet but i'm a top sheet hater for a few reasons when i'm sharing a bed with somebody something always happens with the top sheet it gets like all fucked up you get tangled up in it because the other person you're sharing the bed with is like ripping it out so in that sense i hate it um but that feels like a man i also get all tangled up in it sometimes but it is i i am

a top sheet hater specifically when i am sharing the bed with a man do you tuck your sheets in to the bottom of the bed i do and mr liz rips them out so does frank this is another thing to be fair he's very tall as fuck so he's sticking his feet out it's not it's not like he's normal man and he refuses to have how can he even tell if i tuck in the sheets or if like the housekeeper comes and tucks in the sheets under under the bed he is like he acts like there's i don't even like he the the speed at which this man kicks his feet to get them out he's just like i can't move i guess there's a seinfeld episode about it too that like men just don't like when the sheets are tucked in but also top sheets are so important because what's the importance of a top sheet duvet covers

and like comforters get so dirty it's an it's a barrier between you and the dirty ass duvet yeah and you can wash the top sheet so easily and it's just like it's nice i don't know if you get like hot but you don't want you like you don't want to be completely exposed top sheet top sheet has never let me down oh no fucking way i always wondered what that setting was for oh my god this is so much better oh my god liz just fixed okay the first beginning of this episode is i'm going to sound like i'm whispering because i was so loud in my ears uh that makes a lot of sense i feel so much better i felt like i was in a in a tunnel and i mean this is like to no fault of your own like i've always we've never had a situation where you are also wearing headphones yeah so

you can't give this is like this is like letting a letting a deer drive a car you know you just don't do it you don't give amelia headphones you don't let her feel like she has any sort of like tech say and everything goes smoothly i i wanted her to have headphones but every time we tried to add a second pair of headphones um there would be an echo yeah and that we don't like that in the ass that defeats the whole purpose but we have fancy mics so there was a setting to turn down the volume that i would have never known about if liz hadn't um i'm the tech girly yeah tech support liz i don't know anything but i can figure it out i was talking to my mom about this we both have kind of this mindset of like how hard can it be yeah and that's how i approach most things and

that's how i encourage women to approach everything in their lives is good advice yeah don't don't let the intimidation of other people or especially men if it's a male-dominated industry or something or like a male-dominated hobby like podcasting don't let that stop you from just how hard can be you know you can figure it out yeah i can figure it out you might get a bunch of comments on tiktok like podcast equipment should be more expensive um and those are from people who don't listen and i also i don't really know what they're talking about it's all right like these mics were pretty expensive well and then yeah this shit was kind of expensive also we've been doing this for five years also we make money off of it what the fuck are you doing is your hobby profitable no

tell me that right probably losing a bunch of money in a divorce um i have first of all do you want to open your christmas present yeah it's right there i'm opening it on well you don't have to but i'm like i just saw it out of the corner of my eye i'm excited for you to open it it's february 17th yeah but i just it took me a while to finish it i'm nervous i am too well i'm not nervous actually i'm excited nervous i have to explain it when you open it it's a grandpa and gatsby cross body bag it has a little button it's a nose it's so cute when you like i don't know like go to the you can see them you go to the market and you you i don't you just need your like phone and some money yeah you just need a couple little things a couple little trinkets

the button is like a here yeah i don't want to fuck it up it's just like here okay i've made a little pocket in here for um your uh that your bomb.com you know i love that because i know you you bring it with you every year i literally have i have so many bomb.coms me too like you've got me on it strewn about every bag every corner it's my favorite originally thank you you're welcome originally it started out as a scarf and that was when I was like Liz I've never seen Liz wear a scarf once and so I had already done half of it and I was just like I don't have um any scarves yeah I have one and yeah I don't wear it unless it's freezing right and I was like you know so then it just sat half done and I was like

what could I repurpose this as wait so so where you can is the button supposed to go where the right there it could it goes anywhere because I hadn't factored in the need for a button when I first started making it so it can just go through any hole okay yeah the holes are all big enough for them to just it's so cute yay you're welcome I'm glad you like it adorable I um I'm it's getting to the point in our household now that I have too many balls of yarn and I did feel a little bad giving you two more no it's good like no it's good I don't want to contribute to more stuff if she's trying to get rid of stuff no it's this I this has crocheting has kept me so sane and it's like god bless frank because our living room is like 90 percent yard now like it's bad

it's gotten bad okay I have some um talking tits actually before we do that do you remember that thing on um could like warm our brains up a little bit this idea that i have okay do you remember that thing on tiktok where people were like three two one and then they would try to say they would say a word and then they would try to figure out the commonality between the two that'll be interesting do you want to try it try it yeah let's do it right now um and we just any word any word yeah okay okay ready yeah one two three hello cat and pillow the only thing i can think the next thing i can think of is obscure but there's a cat pillow right here holy shit

wait so then we need to it's from ikea for anyone wondering my mom got it for me it's a great pillow everything i have with cats on it someone else got me yeah of course you don't buy yourself maybe one thing i got myself i went through a hippo phase when i was a kid like i fucking loved hippos and i like almost all of the gifts that i got for like three years were hippo related so i just have a bunch of hippo shit around the house you've probably never noticed it i'll point them out next time you're over yeah i do need you to point out a lot of hippo things in the house wait okay so now we need to come up with something that is similar to cat and pillow okay are you ready yeah one two three pet bed oh okay i think that counts yeah i think it counts too and if you

disagree fuck off yeah if you disagree you're wrong then hang up now bed and pet bed are you saying that pets aren't as i guess does it need to be one more valid as just thinking about humans they need their own they have their own bed a pet bed yeah but that is the same thing we're thinking about the same thing yeah um should we do it again let's do one more round okay for the haters okay okay um okay we're both looking around like okay let's think of a thing okay okay yep one two three plant bike uh-huh okay plant and bike okay i don't know plant and bike yeah i have one it's supposed to be something that we it's like something that ties the two together

i'm only thinking about mr liz so i'm like oh he likes plants and bikes that's true okay well mine's not gonna be one word but okay i don't know okay okay let's just go let's just do it fuck it okay one two three farmer's market farmer's market that makes sense you ride your bike outside see i don't i don't ride a bike me neither but i would assume plants would be on a bike path yeah they would be it just feels like a safe assumption okay all right um so farmer's market and path all right one two three sunday walking sunday that's what farmer's market happens on sunday what does that have to do with paths liz i was just thinking about farmer's market wait what was your word i'm bad at those walking walking and i said sunday walking on sunday

walk sunday sunday and walking um farmer's market we're just gonna come full circle we could just ditch Liz I feel like my brain is warmed up as warm as it could be I told Amelia this earlier I have not eaten a lot today um I ate a spoonful of peanut butter before we started and it's listen listening I tried to eat earlier but Mr. Liz ate all the frozen fruit well the one hour that i had left the house everything is a man's fault and that should be the takeaway from this this podcast from this episode from life but seriously i was like i had it in my head i was like okay i'm gonna go to my pilates class and then when i come home i'm gonna

make myself a smoothie and i'll drink my smoothie while i'm in my therapy appointment come home plan is derailed completely fucking derailed i don't have enough time to eat something like go make something else or go run across the street so I just ate a spoonful of peanut butter and then I also ate like a like energy bar thing it wasn't good that but it was all I had that I could eat really quickly and then right after that I um had to start getting ready for you to come over first I did sit in bed for a couple minutes because I wasn't paying attention to what time it was that's fair and then all of a sudden i was like oh fuck i had one of those days like i took my night adderall an hour early today night adderall because when i was on my such a crazy

it's a good every time you say it i'm like what's up everyone i don't know anyone else who could manage that i took it an hour early because on my way here there's there's a four-way stop and i just sat at it because i was like waiting for like a like the stop sign to turn green i don't know people just kept passing me it's night adderall time yeah and i was like i need to take my night adderall when does the stop sign say go yeah hello i've been waiting here for hours okay my topics are we ready to roll one more thought okay a stop sign that turns green would not be a bad idea because i feel like a lot of people here do not understand a four-way stop yeah we should think about this as a society who's our mayor bruce uh bruce i don't remember

springsteen but i do remember reading um tweets from him uh what what are they called on blue sky i had his first name right can i still call them tweets on blue sky yeah we're repurposing yeah it's from the guys that made twitter so it feels fair they were they sold to elon they were like wait a minute wait a minute we fucked this up the sky isn't so blue over on twitter anymore and so they made blue sky all right wait what was the oh that was your thought was about the we're really in rare form today it's like what were we talking about yay okay did you hear this is my talking tits did you hear about um this headline is chlamydia outbreak warning issued after trump removes std info no okay so here's what happened so the cdc removed std info from

their site um following an executive order from trump obviously they took down online resources on hiv like are you really and sexual really trying to recreate the aids epidemic yeah i mean they yeah yeah yeah um and sexual health citing the removal of quote-unquote gender ideology references shortly after a chlamydia outbreak in illinois raised alarms with public health experts warning that the lack of accessible information could worsen sti rates which of course it could um but I looked into why that might be because I'm sure that the right is like that doesn't make any sense because people already know about the risks of STIs and what's the point so I looked into it and well and also you would think that I don't know with access to resources

on the internet there there has to be more than just like government websites but I don't know continue yes so public health experts have expressed concerns that the removal of std information from the cdc's website following an executive order from trump may have contributed to the outbreak because they argue that the absence of accessible information on prevention testing and treatment could lead to decreased public awareness and hindered access to vital resources the lack of readily available information may also impede health care providers ability to educate patients effectively further exasperating the spread of infections so in response to the concerns a federal judge ordered the cdc the fda and the hhs to restore all of the um health

related web pages emphasizing the necessity of this information yeah i guess i don't understand why the fuck would you think that that's something that you should remove so i watched that video that you told me to watch the um don't believe him video by uh ezra klein i think was his name um if you haven't seen it you absolutely should it's it makes so much sense but basically i saw another video from him today and it was it was equally as good he's off to send that one to you fantastic he the video that i had watched was about how like trump is like bombing us with information and like shock right now yeah shock and awe because it it make it makes you freeze yeah and it's work it's working but like you just can't give into it like you just can't believe it

this is part of that like what's the point of doing all of these things that he's doing like why remove the information and when you really when you boil it down like it's just because it's shocking and it's i think that it worked i think his first term because people hadn't wisened up to what was going on because nobody had seen anything like it before and now we're dealing with it again and we've seen his playbook and we've heard from Steve Bannon

yeah the difference I think the biggest difference that I've noticed between the first term and this term is like the first term it was like a bunch of stuff that wasn't really that important and it was also like it was all for headlines and he knew it wasn't going to be successful but now it seems to be they seem to be targeting

things that are so much more important yeah rather than just kind of making headlines and like getting people up in arms and like fueling the political division and then as as those first four years went on it was just kind of a you know it was still just like dumb shocking headlines but nothing was really accomplished it was just a bunch of splashy bullshit totally or him making problems and then fixing the problems that he made and being like look what i did for you it's fucking ridiculous and so anyway he'll probably add back this information and be like you're welcome it's like and i also you you took it off how dumb do you think we are i think there god there are so many thoughts that i have obviously about all of this but i think what's

most offensive is that like he he thinks everyone's stupid yeah like i don't think it's i mean even if i don't ideologically agree with um the right or republicans like i i'm pissed on their behalf like this man thinks you're fucking stupid yeah all of these people think you're dumb i don't think you're dumb i think that you're being taken advantage of and manipulated right and i think that's some bullshit all right moving along are you familiar with the grandmother hypothesis no okay i just somebody just told me about this and i was like i have to talk i have to talk about this on the podcast so i did my own research um and it's very interesting the grandmother hypothesis suggests that menopause is an evolutionary adaptation that allows older

females to help raise their grandchildren increasing their gene survival rather than continuing to have their own offspring oh so i mean that would make sense there are only a few animals that experience menopause which i didn't realize i didn't realize that either and they are humans orcas short-finned pilot whales beluga whales narwhals and false killer whales I didn't even I didn't know that those existed um that's interesting that they're all whales yeah and us yeah just us and whales while some studies have suggested that gorillas and Asian elephants might experience menopause it's not as clearly established as in humans and whales so why is menopause adaptive I thought this was so fucking interesting so the grandmother

hypothesis suggests that in species where menopause exists post-reproductive females contribute to longer lifespans because they help raise and care for their grandchildren they share knowledge like migration routes and whales and they improve the survival of their kin by reducing competition for resources which i think is so interesting whale research in particular has shown that post-menopausal orca grandmothers significantly improve the survival of their grand calves especially when food is scarce that's so interesting yeah so being a grandma is an adaptive trait i love that i thought it was i think that's so that's such a cute mammal fact mammal fact of the week um have you like seen anything about how um men's sperm

specifically the quality of their sperm affects how a pregnancy is going to go like no it affects it directly affects if like um you have morning sickness it's going to affect like yeah and like the yeah how your kid turns out essentially what the entire pregnancy experience and like the quality of life of your child fully depends on how the man's sperm is and like how well they take care of themselves so like they shouldn't be like drinking or doing drugs they should be eating healthy and exercising they should be doing all of this stuff to make sure their body is in like the best healthiest place it can be um for you to not be experiencing like a worse pregnancy that makes so much sense so interesting yes and it supports my claim that everything is a man's

fault yeah so morning sickness men if you're if your pregnancy sucks men blame blame the man i've been looking up how to avoid morning sickness because obviously i have this thing with vomiting i just always have and i really want to have kids and i'm like this cannot deter well now now you have new information it once you guys start uh planning on having kids and you know trying like gotta be in a you gotta be in a healthy place shouldn't be drinking shouldn't be consuming drugs should be eating right frank taking care of yourself frank has this like dream in his head that when we have kids he wants to be like super ripped he wants to have like like a six-pack and like huge muscles and he wants to like take pictures with like his kid on his shoulder and

then he can just let himself go after that he's like i just want to be like really hot when my kids are born i'm like i'm going to hate you so fucking much while i have like cankles that are like going fucking crazy back pain back pain my tits are gonna hurt all the time i haven't slept in like nine months your body's gonna be so different it's gonna be so different and he's gonna look like an adonis dad yeah but i'm like do whatever you need to babe you follow your dreams well because you always hear so much like i i have i mean at this point in my life i've had several friends who have had to use ibf um and things like that to assist with like fertility and pregnancy and a lot of the times people will approach them and be like well what's wrong with

you like why do you need ibf and majority of the time it's not because of their bodies or um like their eggs or anything like that and it has it it like is so offensive to to be like why can't you like get pregnant right it's like well it actually has nothing to do with me because i've done all these tests it's like um henry the eighth i think it was who would like who beheaded a bunch of his wives because like they couldn't give him a son but it was his probably yeah he's on a king's diet of drinking wine and eating meat right and i mean having gout that like the the gender the sex of the baby comes from the sperm well did you know that before like your like a fetus's um body develops all they're all female up until a

certain point that's why that's why men have nipples yeah and I actually learned that in seventh grade because one of my English teachers she I can't remember why she told us this story I think someone in my class was like asking her questions you know like when teenagers are just like silly like like as an adult when you're like talking to teenagers and they're kind of funny yeah um I think someone had asked her a question about like a past student or like who was what's who's the most memorable student you've had or something and she'd like she was like I had a student who came in every single day and would say why do boys have nipples like he would ask her that every single day and she and then um and then we were like well why do they and she was

like I eventually like found out what the answer was because this is pre-finding everything on the internet you know right we we had the internet but at this point I think she was an older teacher too like she had been teaching for years so they don't have red like access to all of this information right away so she was like so then I finally like looked into it and it's because like before fetus develops into like a boy or a girl they're all female fetuses and i was like that's so interesting so i start committing crimes before they start committing crimes don't let patriarchy stop you from committing crimes that's my advice it's good advice liz thank you um i also recently learned going back to ivf that um if you like do genetic testing and see that like you you have

like genes that you could pass on to your child if you go through IVF they can choose eggs that don't have those genes in them that like don't specifically talk about designer babies on this podcast yeah so that is similar that's exactly like essentially exactly what I was talking about because you IVF is so expensive and now you have these opportunities or whatever you have the the option to change these genetic factors and then you have these parents treating their kids like you have to live up to all of these expectations that I've set for you because it was expensive for me to give birth to you even though like logistically like no one chose to be alive yeah I mean that's also the backbone of like most of my thinking when it

comes to like determining what I think is fair and equal because if you really think about it none of us have we're not given any choice to be here yeah we're not given any choice as as to like what we how we look or who our family is or our circumstances economically like there's you don't have any control and until you are an adult and you also like aren't able to form a lot of like your own opinions on things because of your surroundings yeah and I just I don't know when like when I think about things like that I'm like people should have way more rights than they do totally in general absolutely yeah I mean I think that the designer baby conversation is so nuanced too like there's so but with like the if you're speaking for myself

if I was born with like a debilitating genetic like predisposition to something awful and I found out that my mom had the option yeah to make sure I didn't that I would have a problem with that you know what I mean so it's like this one thing to be like oh this egg like might be like musically inclined and this one might not be I'm gonna go with musically inclined one and then the kid grows up and isn't that's so different like that feels so nefarious than health and like wellness I had no idea that they're able to code I figured that if you carry a gene all like all of your eggs have that gene because I just don't understand basic biology I do wonder if there's like if there are long-term negative side effects to doing something like that like if there are

negative effects in terms of like your health in the future maybe but i mean if you just like don't like i don't know like we might have been have have had like a genetic predisposition to something and we just avoided it because like the egg that we became that we came from didn't wasn't coded with that yeah there's no way to know really um but i think just like having access to that genetic testing is such a privilege like it's so that's such an amazing like resource for somebody to have that it's like if you are able to do it then you might as well i've been thinking a lot lately about i don't even know how to begin this thought i've been thinking so much about um kind of the situation that my career has put me in and the way that I understand and perceive

like businesses and marketing. So to be like more explicit, like my career is in marketing, specifically social media. So I have never, I haven't really been just a participant in social media I have always been a participant and like an employee of social media so I'm always observing it from the other side of it I'm always observing it from the aspect of like considering algorithms considering how marketers and brands utilize social media and then as I've gotten older and gone to more therapy and been more curious and exploring like psychotherapy and psychology and how we think about things and how we perceive them combined with my knowledge of how social media works and how people consume social media it's it it almost it feels so fucked up because

like all of the marketers that I know are like average people just trying to do a job yeah but underneath it is just kind of this like we have to sell more we have to do more we have to make it bigger we have to like you're always trying to outperform something that happened previously but that is not realistic that's not realistic it's not realistic and it's not sustainable and it doesn't lead to long-term success because you cannot continuously grow and I think that's also why i'm like so fucking fed up with everything that i see in american politics because you if you've worked in tech long enough like you've if you've worked in tech long enough and you've been um executive facing enough like you've met enough executives you know when some of them are just

fucking stupid and you're like okay you're totally here because you're an you're a spoiled nepo brat and that's how you got here like people don't say no to you because they want your money yeah and um that has infiltrated our government so yeah observing it from that aspect because majority of the people in america don't they haven't worked for a tech company yeah they haven't met a bunch of like important tech executives who make these big decisions but all of this to say like the industry I'm in specifically is um it deals a lot with data and um just knowing that like I think that data can be so powerful and useful but people are not always using data for good and that pisses me off because I'm like we could do so much like we could improve

so many things for everybody using this information that we have and we don't because it wouldn't we want to take companies yeah it's only it's only like and not my company that i work for specifically but in general like there are so many like conversations around data right now like the safety of your data what's happening with your data who who has access to it and if this is to give anybody some peace of mind like sure it can sound pretty nefarious of like oh these companies have all this data about us I will give you a little bit of peace of mind that a lot of companies are not good at doing anything with their data yeah they don't know like half of like what marketers do is like they should be using data to market but half of what they do

ends up being like well this is like my idea because I'm a consumer so I think like my idea is the best idea right right and that's where like marketing could be way more effective but it's not because if you have a lot of egos in the room it's people who are like well this is my creative opinion even though i've never like i have all this i have this data set in front of me right so i mean they could do something with data but it's kind of like a hit or miss thing if they end up being effective with data how they use it right it's it does feel like the unfortunate truth though is like i think that if people could figure out how to use data to make everyone's lives better they still wouldn't because like there's no bottom the bottom line

is i gotta make money for shareholders exactly it doesn't there is no way for us all being happy is not sustainable for companies no it doesn't because then there's no problem to solve and like all of these well and all the problems are problems they've made right they're like cellulite is a perfect example do you want this problem cellulite wasn't an issue until they needed women to have another reason to hate themselves so that they could market creams like it's the perfect example of like how these like they'll create problems out of thin air to sell more products and like if there's no problems nobody's gonna sell anything so why would they solve the problem it's so and even if they did they would create more problems so it's just like

we're in this endless loop of like having a problem fixing it still not being happy and it's a result of capitalism period which is like i mean you've been saying for forever but like it's it's so it's so frustrating to watch but it is comforting like you're saying in a way to know that like companies don't really know what the fuck they're doing with the data that's also why i'm like okay those of us who work in tech know that elon musk is a fucking idiot like he doesn't actually know what he's doing no he has been very good at marketing himself as a genius but he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing no he like when he went to twitter and fucked it up um they were going to determine programmers like abilities based on how much code

they wrote and like i don't i'm not a programmer i don't know any of that shit but i know enough to know that like the language of programming it is not determined by how much code you write it's determined by how effective the code is like can you get the same thing done in just one line of code versus a bunch of lines of code so and then he had them printed out like are you fucking stupid this is a man who is now buying out our government okay so that's that also pisses me off i'm like and i also i'm like do you actually even have money yeah it's tied up it's tied up in a lot of shit yeah that's why i'm like he could be lying i feel like the world's biggest fucking idiot but i just made the connection today that the department of government efficiency he named it

that because it's doge yeah why didn't i know that until today that's really funny you didn't know because i've always thought the department of government efficiency is such a stupid name that it would make sense well there was already a department that did that but they didn't call it that no so it's like it would make sense that they would name it something that fit doge like duh it's like his obsession his obsession with that his obsession with the letter x his obsession with the nazi symbol and i will say the only this is maybe a controversial yet brave thing there are some things that are like happening within the republican party that i agree with which is a lot of these things that are in place are ineffective a lot of these things that have

been in place like the bureaucracy of it all has made it ineffective it is impossible to get like to make positive change because we've put so many things in place and never revisited that yeah right so in that aspect I do agree with like some of these things need to be revisited but how they're doing it they're not doing it because they want to improve things they're doing it because they want control yeah and that's what that's where i think my uh not support but like that's that's what pisses me off i'm like okay again you think everyone is stupid you think you're smarter than everybody and you think that you just can take whatever you want yeah and yeah i don't know once again this has become a political chat well but i think it is i inherently

like at this point in time being a woman is inherently going to be political and it's also fascinating to watch how politics permeates um like how how we look how we dress um the foods we eat like we're seeing a huge influx of like food recalls well i was gonna say eating disorders um like yeah thinness um and yeah i'm gonna send you a few podcasts that i listened to that i think that you're gonna find really interesting one of the episodes i didn't know this um i can't remember his full name but um matt he's on twitter he has long nails he's gay oh yeah x i yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um he has a podcast and he had an episode with taylor lorenz and another journalist who i'm not familiar with so i don't remember her name but uh they talked about that i think it was

was it new york times that had the cruel kids table uh the cover of a magazine and it was um like all of these like republican influencers like the republican party paid them to like promote their content and stuff at this celebration after um trump was inaugurated and yeah it's all of these like gen z republican um influencers and the cover is very interesting like they talk a lot about like uh fashion and politics in this episode and i absolutely think you should listen to it okay um they talk about how so when you look at the cover of it are you looking at it right now it's all of these like young kids a lot of them are like the the the center like what draws your eye is this um this beautiful girl in a black dress with white lace

yeah um and it's you have these young kids cosplaying as like old money and there's kind of this idea of like old money but that's that's never something that's going to be attainable for them and they're all wearing these like rented tuxedos and synthetic clothing like they they're dressing in their idea of old money wearing things that are like synthetic like it's not a sheen dress but it is a synthetic dress that's why it has that shine to it right um which like anyone who's actually like old money rich would know that's a cheaply made dress um but they talk a lot about like they're kind of like these these influencers they've never lived through a time where like women have been scrutinized like they didn't live through the

early 2000s and see the way that women were treated in reality television in in um paparazzi like they didn't experience like the eating disorder culture and they've also grown up in a place that was relatively like open-minded you know they had obama as president in their early years like they've kind of grown up seeing um a lot of like acceptance and or more and more acceptance of of people of color of women and um they are romanticizing this time where they get to be the center because from their perspective they're like well it's never been my time yeah so this is my time right and that's kind of where i think this like subversive um ideology of like supporting republican ideas comes from when it comes to like young folks yeah they they haven't

lived through these things that they're romanticizing that makes so much sense i do think about often how like women were treated in the in the early 2000s has shaped how i view women and talk about women now like it it has given me a different respect for women and being a woman up somewhere significantly more liberal than i grew up yeah so like not to say that like nevada or las vegas is necessarily more conservative but like it's not nearly as liberal as areas in california as areas in the pacific northwest or even on the east coast like uh it's kind of like its own world it's and then i also had like more conservative leaning parents so right and regardless like if they were conservative leaning it didn't it didn't determine how they voted

how they voted was specifically determined by if the the people that were running like supported the things that they cared about and valued so um regardless of like my dad was always registered um unaffiliated because he was like no I'm gonna vote however I want like after I get the information. Right. I think the biggest thing that we've seen change too. Um, and this is something that I saw in the latest, like Ezra Klein video that I watched that I'll send you later. He explains how, like up until recently that, you know, we shouldn't have a two party system, but the two parties were almost essentially four parties because whether someone was a Republican or a Democrat, it didn't indicate if they were liberal or conservative. So now we have

this idea that being a democrat means that you are liberal yeah and that's not necessarily true so they it just like how they voted fully depended on um like if that candidate was representing their liberal or conservative views but now they've become unanimous right and if you think about it too things like getting vaccinated and not getting vaccinated being against vaccination used to be a more fringe liberal thing yeah oh it was yeah oh I guess that makes sense like hippie kind of like yeah exactly like oh the government can't tell me what to do with my body yeah and in some aspects I'm like yeah I agree with that but sometimes in some time I don't know some ways I'm like I think I do have some more traditional libertarian views of like yeah I don't think the

government should be able to tell you to do be able to tell you what to do with your body but you should accept that there are going to be consequences to you making those decisions totally it does feel like there are some things because I agree I don't think the government should tell us what to do with our bodies unless it directly like threatens groups that can't take care of themselves you know what I mean exactly it turns into a thing where it's like for the greater good I want the government to tell us like I want scientists to tell us what to do with like what makes the most sense and what's the healthiest options you know rather than like whatever somehow we've taken this nosedive into like like the dark web telling people

on like mommy blogs that are like spelled incorrectly bad grammar that like vaccinating your kids is gonna like make them grow a fin you know what i mean like yeah well it's just gotten so polarized well like and insane the way things have become like the way america has developed so many of its systems is rooted in capitalism which is like rooted in marketing like it's all about it's all about marketing it's not about the the improvement of society it's not about the safety of others it's only about the bottom line which is like oh you can move to america and live the american dream which is making a bunch of money and when you make a bunch of money it is inevitably going to exploit people like being a billionaire is a moral failing yeah absolutely i don't know

nobody should be nobody should be a billionaire like if you have that much money you only have that much money because you exploited yeah you you undoubtedly exploited somebody to get there You made that on the backs of people that are making $10 an hour, like, you know, maximum in some areas. You're building your custom private yacht while the people that work for you are having miscarriages because they're not allowed to sit down for more than three minutes. Yeah. Jeff Bezos. so that's my um i i do i will say i really like thinking about how fashion is inherently political um so i definitely like recommend listening to that episode with matt and taylor lorenz

do you know the name of this podcast no i don't it's okay we can find it pretty quickly and like after listening to that i i was thinking more and more about like how so if i were someone who wanted to be counterculture of like maga politics in in terms of fashion what would that rebellion look like and because i did see like a tiktok of someone say like fashion is inherently political which is why we should dress like sluts or something like that like along those lines but i was like no these women are not they're not not dressing like sluts yeah so i don't think it it demands i don't think it comes down to if you're dressing slutty or not and i'm also not saying slut as a slur like we love sluts yeah we've built a whole every every woman has earned the right to

dress like a slut when she pleases so i don't think it comes down to um like if it's slutty or not I think it comes down to what it represents like if you're trying to dress old money that's rooted in like republican politics yeah um and conservatism conservatism um so the count I'm like what would the counterculture of that be and I think it would like I it made me think back to like 2008 when there was the housing market crash and people dressed more like they were more covered up they were wearing long skirts like there's a trend of like when there's um economic turmoil yeah despair people people cover themselves up more yeah um i think that makes a lot of sense though that like fashion would be something that would take a political like it would be it would

be a response because there's not very much that we can do we probably feel so powerless in situations and times like that that like fashion and how we dress and how we act and how we carry ourselves is like the only things that we have full control over so it makes sense that how we're dressing would echo what's going on in the world yeah that makes so much sense also his podcast is called a bit fruity a bit fruity okay that's the podcast he's a jew listen we love that do we love we love a look at him what a little gem i've never actually i see his tweets pop up all the time i love him so much i've never expanded his photo though he's killing it well that's i mean i had another topic but that's we'll talk about it next week

because it's ongoing it's the blake lively and justin baldoni case because we haven't yet to talk about it i know i've been kind of like ignoring that i haven't kept up with it at all i only saw the the beginning stages of it of uh yeah so i don't know what everything that went down is well i'll give you a whole education next week like i'm i also i'm low-key i'm like i don't know if i fucking care i don't know if i care about these like rich people it just it does make you wonder how much of everything that we see in hollywood is manufactured for promoting a film yeah yeah but we'll talk about it next week there's that's a little teaser little cock tease we call it in the biz that's what we call it in this biz in this biz um you

said you had half of a topic do you cover it later like we've already been talking for an hour and five minutes next time it'll be a whole topic what is it i was just gonna like list things that i do in my life to like romanticize my life and make me feel a little bit more happy instead of getting like dragged down by oh my god i'm so excited yeah well now i can fully bake it out more good okay cool wow cute we have a little commercial for next week tune in next week for us yapping about things that don't relate to one another once again yeah two sluts talking two sluts talking um would you like to sing us out sure elizabeth ball um we love you i always wake up gatsby when i do that it's the best okay bye

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