The Hoely Hour - E27 'Zilla D*ck

Episode Date: February 19, 2021

We're popping champagne this Thirsty Thursday because WE JOINED A NETWORK! What kinds of things radiate Big D*ck Energy? If he does these things, he for sure has a GDBD. Let's talk about body hair. It's weird we shave it, right? Let's all braid our armpit hair, who cares. And, find out what the sexy time sweet spot is. ;) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. so we're celebrating today uh we announced um yesterday i don't know we can't remember the difference between days right now uh i think it was it was yesterday it was yesterday for sure okay uh we announced um that we joined the podcast network we are now part of the chatter network family yay we're so excited bottle of champagne and we are popping it we are baby let's do oh I'm nervous oh my god you're gonna put a hole in your ceiling oh god it hurts my hand you want to do it oh it's like not moving oh god you don't have to do it yeah okay don't shake it ready oh yeah Welcome to the holy hour. I'm Amelia Sampson and I'm Liz Ball. You already know what time it is.

amelia's shooting off a laser gun what air horns have i been listening to sad i haven't had fun in a long time tiny ones no one can remember what an air horn sounds like because we haven't been to the club we can't hear that oh my god uh memories just had like flashbacks war flashbacks from the club god gordon ramsey we got gordon ramsey in the club oh chris brown's in the club no chris brown's not in this club it's not allowed no only gordon only gordon he's the only person allowed nobody else just gordon ramsey partying by himself it's just gordon ramsey at the dj booth and then a bunch of cardboard cutouts of also gordon ramsay and then us just like yeah cardboard that's my dream

party honestly that's that's what my heaven looks like it's just a bunch of cardboard cutouts of gordon ramsay and gordon ramsay djing yeah exactly i can't ask for anything more than that and then you're there yeah a dream come true we're we're we'll be podcasting the holy hour from gordon ramsay heaven uh-huh uh-huh it'll be one of our patreon offerings yeah get a live stream into our gordon ramsay heaven we need to launch patreon we talked about it on episode like four i like boo amelia is way busier than i oh please you have been so busy are you kidding you've also been prioritizing your mental health which is something i've actually yeah that's a good point I've been drawn a lot of lines I can't really differentiate between like what helps with my

mental health and what is like I don't know if me being productive and like feeling like I'm doing a lot is good for my mental health or not I have no idea I feel like you're doing less than you used to be doing does that make sense yeah because acting's gone yeah and I'm not like splitting up my time between multiple friend groups because of the vid the vid I just keep the covey the covey covey wovey so yeah that's true i mean like i do feel a little less scattered than before but i do think i need to be spending a little bit more time just like staring at the ceiling you know do some shrooms microdose some shrooms they might not work with prozac but oh my god that's true you know i was thinking i wonder what molly would be like on prozac because

like well you can overdose on like from serotonin that's what i was thinking like yeah that's too much serotonin my brain would be like bitch we're trying to even the shit out fucking relax i have heard that like i don't think that shrooms would cause serotonin syndrome you just wouldn't feel it like you wouldn't have the rush of yeah okay dopamine interesting i honestly like don't know the difference between dopamine and serotonin i don't either i never have claimed to know the difference so yeah either way interchangeably i know i like them both yeah give me all of that interested in my receptor i want natural heroin yes thank you i it's fucking rude that our brains were just letting free serotonin bounce around it's like no thanks none of that for me like

yeah i think i'm good on the serotonin thanks no bitch we need it i need i'll take the serotonin let me let me sip this champs really good this is gonna give me a headache it's so sweet but i'm so into it i did get hung over on well in my defense i was awesome mixing it with gin i was making french 75s when uh for my boyfriend's birthday oh yeah we went away for a weekend and i was like i want french 75s and we sugar cube too a bunch of donuts yeah that's a dangerous mix at the next day I was like I'm a little hungover and this is so gross but he had had um like most of my hangovers are like stomach related and then and then I'll also have a headache but uh this is so this is really gross but he had like when I said like I'm a

little hungover he's like i have like a a little advil gel capsule floating around in the side of his door oh my god it was gross that's disgusting everybody has different things in their door jams and then i i took like a napkin and i put some hand sanitizer on it and wiped it off and took it a little drunk off the hand sanitizer Advil yeah um Gatsby excuse me turning up on hand sanitizer Gatsby is uh very meany today he is but I love it he's never been so happy to see me and it's making me feel wanted ran up to Amelia today it was like when Ruffin greets me at the door when I get home it's because everyone hears and sees grandpa because he's so talkative and loud and large yeah and large he's huge Gatsby has to step up his game to Gatsby is already big yes he is

people don't notice he is or maybe I just didn't notice that he's like a big cat because grandpa compared to grandpa huge right unusually large well and then I didn't really notice until I took Gatsby to the vet and he walks out of the kennel and then the vet was like that's a big cat and I was like you should see my other cat you think this cat's big wait till you see my other cat bud light you ever see a big truck my cats are bigger than trucks what is this an ad oh it's a course like home depot oh my god okay save a horse ride a truck

did you say save a horse ride a truck yeah fuck off save a cowboy ride a truck I had a country music phase for a little while I was gonna say you're a little too good at that one of my best friends recently married a uh a bit of a cowboy and in college um one time he was like taking care of me while I was puking and he I remember he pulls a Coors Light out of his boot and he's just he cracks it while he's like coaching me

through vomiting yeah and then the next day I told my roommates I was like I think he pulled a Coors Light out of his boot and then we came up with his unofficial tagline which is there's a Coors in my boot what the fuck that's so cartoonish it was perfect is there one under your hat too you need to wear a cowboy hat to the bar he has a gun holster with beard he totally should oh my god i'm sure he does somewhere um if you're listening i love you both

oh if and if this doesn't make sense to some of you guys i went to college in arizona and there are some uh cowboys there just a few one or two yeah just just a couple just a couple of cowboys I'm really enjoying that maybe I should do the rest of the podcast in my in your cowboy boy cowboy boy my truck riding voice I also dated a little bit of a cowboy for a while um and i was like so he was a friend of a friend and like one of my best friends and i was like jen why does he have an accent like he was born and raised in las vegas in the las vegas suburbs and she was like me and dustin call him city hicks wait yeah but how does that happen just like the music they listen to and like the movies that they watch i like how well yeah it's

like people that study in london for three months and come back and think they have a british accent yeah like Madonna yes have you ever experienced anything difficult and not felt like you had an outlet I'm Haley Crowe the host of facilitating voices an outlet podcast where we discuss complex topics surrounding mental health social justice issues and interview people with real and raw experiences and exposures to trauma tune in to learn grow and realize you're not alone new episodes released weekly on the chatter network so i have been thinking and i texted amelia what are some things guys do that just like radiate big dick energy i think about this frequently when you texted me this i was like

i don't even have to do my homework i'm fucking ready i have been making a list of me the one that stood out initially was um since i've been uh speaking out on misogynists on tiktok men that are speaking out against misogynists on their own tiktoks have been coming up on my for you page the biggest tick energy just like how it's like a third leg at that point that dick is the eiffel tower there is a guy in new zealand who his entire tiktok is dedicated to just being like y'all are pieces of shit and like and not in like a you can tell when it's kind of like virtue signaling like look i'm like i'm an ally for women you know it's like but this guy is like y'all are fucking corny and you have to get together and i'm like

sir you looking for uh he's married but oh look good for her he's also poly so but anyway that huge dick energy i just i love that shit so that's my number one what's what's your number one I didn't think of a number one um I was just thinking in general of things that I'm like that's big dick energy okay um I don't know if I could come up with a number one right on the spot I would have to like noodle it uh-huh we'll do like a little like bracket yeah um I think that when guys paint their nails is big huge dick energy yes and if you're wondering why it's just like I think the Madonna song says it best of just like it's okay to be a boy but it's not okay to be a girl or do feminine things so when a guy is doing something that is has been

deemed as like a feminine thing because they just enjoy it yeah and it's saying like it's okay to be a woman and they appreciate those things about like things that have been generally decided as feminine yep the i don't know it just doesn't like threaten their masculinity and if you like to fucking paint your nails you can just do that and have your nails painted i'm just like fuck that's the biggest dick energy big dick energy it's so hot that is so hot that's a good one i remember i showed a picture of um a guy i had been seeing who is now my boyfriend um I planned it uh to like it was after like maybe our first or second date or something when I was hanging out with you and um our other friend Allie and then uh Mindy

yeah when we went to the park yeah and I showed them a picture of the guy I was seeing who's now my boyfriend and um Allie was like are his nails painted and I was like yeah and she was like that's so fucking hot it's like it is yeah thank you it's like very at least in like liberal cities pretty universal that that's hot and I didn't realize that until people were like yeah fuck yeah it's like I feel like that whole thing started when like men started wearing like pink polo shirts with like the whole like real men wear pink thing I feel like it's in that same kind of vein it's like yeah fucking own it like yeah wear what you want to wear be mad yeah be mad haters i'll still get i'll still get you know whatever genitalia you prefer but yeah yeah i'll still

get the ladies uh-huh it's so true like in middle school when boys would wear pink yeah and they'd be like yeah i'm fucking wearing pink uh-huh yeah then they touch the door frame i'm gonna dry hump you so hard later i'm sorry i'm just reminiscing they would jump into every yes if you wear a pink shirt you would always you would not be able to pass through a door without touching the door frame that was an unspoken rule um the kid that i had the biggest crush on in middle school uh i remember him and his friends would i had a bunch of classes with him and his friends it was seventh grade was like the best year of my puberty anyways he would they all would get up and like the tissue boxes were always at like the teacher's desk so they would get up and get a

tissue and just and like not blow anything out and they would do it for like a super long time they'd be at the teacher's desk for like two minutes like blowing their nose what the fuck and then they would take turns doing it and then finally the teacher would be like sit down if you think about it like teenagers are fucking hilarious like see i can't relate these were speak on it yeah these were like uh the skater boys oh god if you're listening i used to hang out at the skate park ricky oh you were one of those yeah i was one of those and none of them wanted to talk to me and i look at pictures of myself in seventh grade i'm like i get it i'm just like hey guys and your hair is completely flat yep i had green braces because

oh i had neon green braces why would we why neon green neon pink neon orange how long did you have braces for two and a half years that's how long i was supposed to have them for i had them for four and a half years yeah dude i had two two rows of teeth that's how that's how like orthodontists get though they get so particular about their work and my mom's like i'm not fucking taking her to the orthodontist anymore you said two and a half years wrap this shit up yeah and then he doubled up a bunch of my bands and i was just like i hate this i'm dying i couldn't do it i mean i had this very british teeth you know it's just like my teeth were jacked up i had like the like canines like all the way like up here that were like protruding out and then none of my none of

my adult teeth were growing where they needed to so they just grew behind my baby teeth so i had get all of these extractions i had too many teeth so they had to pull four molars um and then i had a roller retainer and then braces for four and a half years and then i still didn't wear my retainer so now my top row is jacked up my bottom teeth are shifting i'm so fucking mad i have the bottom um permanent retainer i'm like why didn't you fucking put it on the top i don't care about my bottom teeth damn mine like they look fine yeah they do look fine yeah you can't even tell um big dick energy we really went off on a discourse we tend to so other big dick energy things toss it back to you oh god okay um see i have like a whole list they kind of all fall

under the same like general vibe um men that are outspoken on the female orgasm like how important it is to make women orgasm and not in an again not in a virtue signaling way just like this is an issue we gotta do better big big dick energy and there's something so sexy about like the research that goes into it like when men come with like their fucking receipts they're like i did my research and this is what needs to happen oof it must just your hips must be tired from how big your dick is just dragging it around huge yeah that godzilla dick yeah that zilla dick that zilla dick episode name ZD the low dick um that GD ZD GD ZD hashtag GD ZD get it trending guys all 11 listeners no I'm kidding there's more than that we have so many followers on Spotify

I'm too excited thank you guys so much we're so fucking hyped that you guys like listening to us we're texting about it basically all day it's amazing you guys like listening to us because i hate my inner monologue i'm just kidding it's just all my personalities sitting around agreeing with each other um other things that are big dick energy oh emilia's still laughing at my joke i've never felt funnier you're laughing almost as much as my my cowboy voice oh my god oh my god do you want to radiate big dick energy paint your nails only real men paint their nails it's an opi opi sc nail polish color called big dick energy we should probably bd

yeah let's start a line yeah should we yeah with nail polishes named after uh big dick energy we'll call it nail me oh i like that uh all right it's coming to you soon after we launch our patreon first we need to figure out how to make nail polish and in the process we might as well figure out how to make meth because i'm sure they're not far apart probably in the same facility yeah anyways back to big dick energy what's happening we're both unraveling today yeah we're just too excited it's a it's a good day um and this champagne's hitting hard it really is i'm like we've we're we're both not done with our first glass and i feel buzzed i feel i feel pretty buzzed too yeah it's the sugar i bet blame it on

the alcohol i'm a millennial that's the yeah that's the director's cut version of that song i'm ashamed maybe i'll take this out that was not a good joke i recognize that this is why if you ever do stand-up you just have to have me front row because i can't fucking hilarious you'll just be in the room like just cackling everyone's like my favorite thing is when i'm when i like accidentally make my therapist laugh oh that's the best girl you think that's funny i'm not even trying i wonder if she's secretly listening to the podcast she would never i always wonder that

i'm like i don't know my therapist does a really good job at like keeping a line like she was saying what she does when she runs into people in public you know like how she handles that situation when she runs into her patients in public so i'm like i should probably not but i don't know i talk about her a lot so i didn't even know my therapist was married until she's married yeah she might have a baby i don't know i do have a theory she's grimes unclear um but her husband is not elon musk that's for sure well neither is grimes right now have you ever seen my therapist and grimes in the same room no no you haven't um yeah she was like when covid happened she was like my husband someone he works with was exposed to covid so

i am working remotely and then she's like i'll just stay remote for however long have you met your therapist in person oh yeah you have yeah i've been seeing her for like two and a half years oh i didn't know that i thought you found her during the vid no almost like weird when you go back in person almost uh like a few months after i moved here oh shit i didn't realize it was that long of a relationship i love that i love long long ltrs it's the longest relationship i've ever had with my therapist grimes grimes um speaking of podcasts sorry i think you're in the middle of a thought but i just popped in my head we keep getting straight away from the big dick energy we do combo but i have a i have a thought it's probably not going to be a whole discourse but

i'm going to forget if i don't tell you i was watching the britney spears documentary last night yes and what i didn't realize is a huge like i don't know like proponent of the free britney movement is a podcast yeah they started digging into britney spears's instagram and the whole podcast is about britney spears's instagram and they started the hashtag free britney movement this podcast i cannot wait these two people got interviewed on the new york times documentary that just have this podcast of them just like sitting in a living room talking about bernie spears's documentary i'm like why not us i mean we're not talking about bernie spears but we don't have any uh theories like that too yeah we're also not really digging into anything but i don't i

just thought unless it's someone's uh ex-boyfriend's instagram we can dig into that if you want us to find someone if you met a guy at a bar three years ago and all you have is his first name and his hair color sign into our email dms we will find whoever you're looking for we will we have and we will this reminds me of another story um hi so one of my friends who lives in california he was like at a party with his roommates and uh one of his roommates met this girl and like they both we were facetiming they were both telling me this story about how he met this girl and like uh he was really into her and then he like went in to kiss her and then she was like i can't i have a boyfriend and then right and then he was like can i get your number and then she was like

uh if it's meant to be you'll find me or something like her yeah like her instagram handle or her number or something and um i was like okay uh what's her first name and then um who is she friends with whose party were you at so i like went through my friend's instagram to find the party host and then i was like okay couldn't find her and i was like what was her friend's name and then i found her friend and then i her instagram was private so i had to go to facebook and then i went to facebook and then i found the girl and then i was like okay this is her last name and then i found her instagram handle and i was like this her and then it was like probably maybe 10 minutes i've gone by maybe less and then they were like how

the fuck did you do that and i was like fbi status don't fuck with me yeah no we'll find you i was born and raised in the forages of social media uh-huh i will uncover your deepest darkest secrets i was thinking on the way here publicly broadcast about how good women are at finding things out about people online and i think it's such an interesting because i'll tell my guy friends about it and they're like this is nothing personal but like men are idiots like when it comes to social media you think you're so fucking slick yeah and you're not you're not good at hiding shit no we'll find you that's you'll say a girl's name one time and we're gonna be like oh i'm gonna remember that yeah and then go and look it up and then and we don't like to be that

way no we just have to be that way we have to because someone else in our past has done some dumb shit and we were the last to find out oh that's the thing i hate being there are plenty of innocent men that's plenty of innocent men i have a whole fucking um complex about being the last person to know something that's my business because there's been so many instances where people have known all about my business before i ever knew about it and now i won't let it happen so i will sleuth the fuck the fuck out of whoever i'm dealing with just so i'm not the last person to know there have been like it's toxic two or three occasions where i've been like seeing a guy consistently talking to him like i'm not like talking to anyone else you know um and then

they'll like i'll find out that they're like fucking someone in a really awful way like one time a guy I was I had been seeing he like tried to like make a move on me but we were both like kind of drunk and I was like I really like you and like I want to hook up with you but not like this like when I'm drunk like I would rather be sober for this and then he was like I totally get that and then uh he lived across from one of my best friends in college so she I met him through her and then we like there was like a event going on and then we went back to her place to like get some water and then she's like let's see who's home and like went into like the guy's apartment and then there were a bunch of people on the couch and she's like none of you live here

who's like where are the people who fucking live here and then they're like oh well he's up like this one of the guys is upstairs and then we started walking up there and they're like no don't go up there he's like hooking up with some girl and I was just like and my friend looked at me and she's like we're going and she like grabbed me and brought me into her place and I almost heard like I'm starting to cry and she's like it's okay like yeah she's like he sucks you barely know him I was like right yeah I wish I didn't have to find out like that yeah that's an awful awful feeling I know dude so that happened a couple of times in college and I was just like do you think i'm not gonna find out yeah dude i know my roommates in college too hot for you yeah

no you know you're it's always an ugly guy who's like acting like that small dick energy smallest dick energy my roommates in college all knew about my boyfriend cheating on me before i did and they didn't tell me for months because they didn't want me to be upset they were like well it could have just been a rumor i'm like tell me the fucking rumor so i could figure it out myself hello it was awful awful awful awful but that's the thing is like it just feels like people are like tiptoeing around you and then I just got like my ears were just perma perma perked after that to whenever I felt like an energy was shifting in a room I'm like what do they know that I don't know uh I know exactly that kind of feeling that feeling

like what are people trying what is happening there's been some instances recently like in friend groups where like there have been people tiptoeing around my feelings about things and they think that I'm not realizing it and that's the shittiest feeling when it's like I know people are hiding things you cannot mess with Amelia's gut instinct it is impeccable it's flawless thank you so much thank you it's one of my favorite favorite qualities she does not miss and like all I do is point it's just one of those things where like if your gut is telling you like something is a miss yeah you're gonna be like what's going on uh-huh yeah I always I am the best at this with like my friends or like my boyfriend or my parents I can tell if they're

in like a mood and then I'm just like how are you feeling yeah tell me love that and people just straight up be like how are you feeling people aren't usually in tune with people's emotions like that you're really good at being like I feel like you're good at voicing when you a tailored that you can learn to do this because i was oblivious before i think people are just so in their own worlds whenever anybody asks me how i'm doing or just checks in on me i'm like thank you so much it just means a lot because people people don't aren't normally in tune to that kind of thing and i i am like i'm very like empathetic like and i'm um what's the word um empath part of empathetic i'm an empath like i can feel when an energy is shifting in a room

and i'll take it on and meeting somebody that's the same way is like oh my god like somebody else cares about people's emotions yeah and then it's not that i think once you also understand it's like it's not like anyone is intentionally ignoring your emotions you know they're just in their own bubble yeah i know some people should know better yeah like okay you're like dirty let's figure it out totally but uh some people are most people do not have the intention to hurt you it's just whether or not um they're purposefully trying to like acknowledge what's going on around them yeah I think this is the the um the intention to try to show you that they care is goes such a long way it's like even if they're not intentionally it's almost like I don't feel

like they don't care when they don't ask it's that I it means so much to me when they do so it's like when they don't it's like show what you can't just like show me that you care just like at like ask you know and that's what pisses me off so much about this this spans a lot because but yeah no it's like the same thing with being asked questions on a date like it's it's that it's just like okay I know they're not intentionally being clueless about yourself right exactly and that's not intentionally clueless but it's still like offensive you know yeah so I don't know it just means so much to me when people are like you seem sad I'm like I am sad um so I wanted to talk about body hair because so Amelia and I've had this we've had like

rumblings of this conversation so many times and I've ended up having to cut it for time but this time we're having a dedicated conversation about body hair I love it um I uh what do you think about body hair um in what sense like for for men or for women or for everybody uh let's start with everyone and or no um specifically how do you feel about your own body hair okay I like that I like that I am okay so I guess I kind of have to answer my how I feel about women's body hair to get to how I feel about my own um I am so into women that don't give a fuck and they're just like they just have all of this you know they let their leg hair grow out they let their armpit hair grow out and like the whole like men thinking that it's gross thing

like it doesn't fucking it just doesn't fucking matter because it's our bodies and I think that's super small dick energy and I think that that's a huge reason not not the only reason but I think a huge reason is kind of reclaiming your body like I want to have my armpit hair grow out I want to have my leg hair long like that's because I want to do it and not because I'm worried about how a man is going to feel about it like that is a fucking that is that's big dick energy from us beady beady um but for me personally with that said I if I can feel the smallest bit of stubble on my legs and I'm Italian so my hair grows like I like blink in my leg hairs back it drives me insane having leg hair it's like it's like nails on a chalkboard for me and then I have really

dark hair so if I don't shave my armpits every night it I look like I have like a full forest on my armpits and that feeling of like the chafing is really uncomfortable um i have to i can't believe i'm saying this out loud i have to shave my mustache because if i had to bleach it or wax it i would be doing it constantly and shaving is just so much easier yeah people are like oh it just grows back so coarse when you do i don't care i have to i have no choice like i'm not gonna believe i'm gonna i'm going to kill so many brain cells if i have to keep waxing and bleaching my mustache because I have to do it probably also make your skin like wrinkly faster probably probably so for for my own body hair I um it's more of a comfort thing but in general I think

it's fucking badass when women don't shave their legs or their armpits fucking do it there's this whole thing going on on tiktok right now there's there's a body hair positivity um woman who is like around our age and she does like a lot of like stretch with me like yoga things and she has armpit hair but it's very obviously like she's trying to like it's about body hair positivity and i went into the comments because like this is probably such a positive space people like girl your armpit's hairy yeah yeah and it's like this is the whole fucking point of her doing this it grows there her point it grows there on every single person it's like a belly button yeah should not be so weird and taboo and also so I I was thinking about this

because I was talking to my boyfriend about it yesterday I was like thinking about body hair and I was like I have a lot of weird feelings about body hair because like I like I have these complexes that I haven't fully dealt with myself where like I feel like I have to shave I feel like i have to like wax whatever and um i was thinking about how that's like a recent development and then in the scheme of things because razor companies wanted to start marketing towards women too and then it also is creepy it's like a little bit rooted in like pedophilia like adult women have body hair children do not and the fact that you want women to have no body hair is creepy yeah then also like I'm still shaving my armpits and my legs yeah well I mean like

on the razor conversation too I've had to start buying men's razors because women's razors are expensive and dull as fuck unless you pay like twenty dollars for a razor the pink tax pink tax it's so stupid it's so stupid to me like I mean I understand why waxing is the price that it is but then like products like nair that shit's terrible for you i used nair a few times and it got a chemical burn um and it's just sulfur in there yeah it smells awful anything that can melt your hair uh-huh is very bad on your skin uh-huh uh-huh which you know i should have known that but i was just the things that we do though that's the thing it's like the things that we put our bodies through so that we can like fit to these ideas in our head of what we're supposed

to look like or how we're supposed to present ourselves is sad it's really sad and like I find myself falling into it because even though I'm saying body positivity fuck yeah because I do truly mean that when I first see a woman with very hairy armpits my first reaction is like oh yeah it's surprise yeah until I'm like fuck yeah because like that consciously that's how I feel about it but subconsciously I'm like whoa because that's just been beat into us that like women aren't supposed to have hairy armpits yeah they're doing it in France the French are making so many babies they're fucking all the time so be more like the French and all they do is drink wine and smoke cigarettes right and they have a longer lifespan than we do and eat croissants yeah so

croissants I love croissants um but body hair I don't know like uh I also wanted to talk about ways of removing body hair but i do want to say that like um my i feel a little lucky like my body hair is not very dark uh my and it's not thick the hair on my head is not thick uh only my eyebrows but they used to be more thick but now i have to fill them in a little anyways it's neither here nor there neither hair nor there neither hair nor there uh but my leg hair like does not it's really thin and light and like doesn't get coarse and then um fuck you i know i'm sorry and then uh when my boyfriend was gone for like a month i like let my armpit grow out like armpit hair i wasn't doing anything like i was wearing long sleeves and also um my razor

was really dull so I threw it away and I just was like I don't want to go fucking buy a new one unless I have to so I was just letting it grow out and yeah I was like oh that's kind of cute it was very soft love that yeah nice it's gonna be experimented with it light brown soft armpit hair I I just and then um when I I brought it up to my boyfriend talking about body hair i was like i was i was thinking about what you would say or think if i decided to grow out my body hair and i just know you wouldn't give a fuck but also i think he knows his place of he doesn't have the grounds to give a fuck that's a smart man well and then so what do you think about men's body hair i was just about that's what i was just about to shift the conversation to

because it's interesting i feel like men have the opposite problem like there's a lot of stigma around like I can't grow a beard like there's like that's a thing or like I don't have a hairy chest you know it's like one of my friends um posted a video of her boyfriend with his arm up on the beach and he didn't have armpit like he had like shaved armpit hair and I was like oh but then I was like wait hold on and made me check myself because I was like this is this is the opposite problem that they deal with like they're expected to be like it's manly to have a lot of hair and It's manly to have hair on your chest. And, like, and I'm somebody, I've said a million times on here that I am a testosterone junkie.

I go nuts for a hairy man. I love hairy men. And, like, I have to do a lot of, like, kind of self-policing on that because there are a lot of men that, like, Ben Higgins from The Bachelor, he always jokes about his patchy beard. But I'm sure that he jokes about it because it's an insecurity for him. Yeah. And why is that? because we because men are told that they're supposed to be like burly and hairy and i we don't think about that a lot as women we don't have to i i like if i see a guy with a clean

shaven face i don't think that guy can't grow a beard i just i i guess i don't really notice me neither i mean i well i know it's because i love beards but i'm not like yeah fucking loser can't grow a beard i feel like that's more of like a preference like if a guy preferred a girl who was blonde and so brunette yes you prefer a guy with a big beard and that's that's just what you're attracted to it has nothing to do with the fact like if he has like uh a lot of body hair or not no right it's not like he's less of a man but i think i think some men not not all men not all men hashtag not all men no but i think some men do feel like they are less than if they can't or like they are like not as much of a man we don't think that way it's really just a preference

thing for me but I don't think anything less of them I saw something really interesting today um on TikTok it was a guy saying like how come I got how come I get more matches when I look like this and it was him like he just looked like a normal guy to me like um he was just average standard size his arms were a little muscular uh and he was wearing a shirt so you couldn't see if he had like abs or anything but he just he was like a good looking guy and you could see his like slight arm muscles and then he's like and i i got more girls when i look like this versus this and like the other picture was him just like fucking ripped like the hulk and then a girl duetted it and broke it down and she said like i've been doing a study on this of like uh men are

care way more about aesthetic than women do so they invest a lot of time in their aesthetic sometimes but it's because like that's what they prefer they're not thinking about what women prefer well yeah i like if i see a really muscular guy i'm not like oh that guy's so fucking hot i have to match with him i'd be like he spends a lot of time at the gym and like if he was really interesting and funny then i'd be like cool that that's an interesting thing because we hear a lot too like of things that we find men value aesthetic way more totally but then there's stuff that i feel like women pay a lot of attention to that men are like i don't fucking care about that you know that the female gaze the female gaze is so much different than

the male gaze yeah and it's more tailored probably to like longevity of a relationship yep yeah and also we always want to say we're talking in the gender binary just because it's just for the sake of discourse yeah we don't believe in the gender binary i just want to throw that out no we don't believe in the gender binary but just for the sake of this conversation yeah between the male and the female gaze absolutely it's so different i mean like we will and not we well because we were because most people are raised like in a heteronormative yes that's just the expectation and that's just the reality and i understand like most people are straight but or maybe they think they are because they are attracted to the opposite sex and their attraction to the same

sex they have been brainwashed into thinking it's just a friendship attraction america speaking from experience the world anyways um because i feel like i had some other oh ways that you get rid of your body hair yes have you tried um because obviously there's the razor the classic razor good old razor uh i hate shaving my pubes me too god it's like stubbly and painful and i always go too long between shaving too and it's just a whole fucking thing no matter what i hate it like i get really bad like uh razor burn and like ingrown hairs it's just like a nightmare um my what i i prefer waxing over sugaring sugaring fucking hurts i've never done sugaring before people say it

it hurts less but i think it hurts way more huh and um it's because they have the same mixture and they keep putting it over this portion of your skin but and they're going against the grain when they're like putting this hot mixture on your skin and you already have like all these raw pores and they're like ripping it off oh god and i get so sweaty when i get waxed because i'm just like i'm so hot i hate this i've never gotten a brazilian or a bikini wax oh really oh man i know i had an appointment right before um the pandem the pd pd it's just like waxing and my boxing classes both of them got canceled because of the pd i'm like maybe i just shouldn't maybe I just shouldn't wax maybe I just shouldn't take boxing classes it it hurts it will never hurt

as much as the first time you do it yeah that's that's I've heard that a lot um I prefer to get waxed but also I have to like something has to be like going on for me to want to get waxed like I'm gonna be in a swimsuit I'm going on vacation right then I'll like be interested in getting waxed I have like a sex marathon coming up yeah and even then it's like okay if I had body hair does that matter do i want to be with a guy who fucking cares about body hair why do i care about body hair that brings it back to the to the question that we started it's so annoying that it is just this like vicious cycle of like i don't want to care about my own body hair but i do but if other women are rocking armpit hair and leg hair and their pubes like i don't fucking care

i'm like great for you yeah i support it i didn't even realize i didn't talk about when i answered your question at first I didn't even talk about I didn't even talk about vagina hair I didn't talk about pubes yeah because that is such a thing pubes are so different yeah I don't know they are but it's like I because I'm in the camp of like it grows there for a reason it's just fucking leaning into it yeah it just it grows there but when I'm having sex with somebody when I don't know them super well like when I was in a relationship for a long time I was just like i don't fucking care and he also didn't care yeah he's like i don't care and and he meant it when i'm like hooking up with somebody for the first time or like the second time or third time

i am like bald and like i don't know why that's the default like if you're not sure what they like like just when in doubt just grow it out oh you have opposite answers for that in doubt grow it out and if they're an asshole about it you don't want that guy anyway but but personally how I feel about myself how I look naked when I don't really know somebody I want to I want to be shaved and I'm why that's true I I feel the same way and I also don't know why I wish I knew and I've been I've been questioning I've been asking myself this question for forever I'm like what what is it why why do I feel the need to do that I also feel like uh guys are more um like the more you're together like the longer you are together the less they

care yeah because they love you yeah so they're like I don't care it objectively doesn't matter yeah and it's just we could do car wheels around it all day I cannot make it make sense and like I'm ashamed that I will still get rid of my body hair even though I'm such an advocate for people growing out their body hair but it's also like a personal choice you know because if we can support women that want to grow out their body hair then we could also support women that don't want to it's it's a choice thing i i get hung up on feeling like i have to that's what i'm concerned about exactly like i do like being shaved like i just feel comfort comfort wise and how i feel like personally i look and there's something like very nice um and appealing about feeling like a

smooth dolphin like after you shave your legs and you put on lotion and you get into clean sheets oh my god and you want everyone to feel your legs too uh i'm one of those yeah you're not shape through my legs you're just like feel my soft legs they feel amazing no no no we're not having sex i just want you to feel how soft my legs are yeah this is i'm giving you a gift and then you roll around in your clean sheets god it feels so good especially in the summer and your sheets are cold yes oh my god there's nothing better than clean cold sheets in the summer oh um but back to pubes yep i back to pubic hair um i got an epilator so i've been using an epilator it is a terrifying contraption um it looks a little like an electric razor and it has

so it has the one i got has two different heads that you can interchange and one is an electric razor and the other is the epilator and it's all these tiny little um tweezers and they spin in a circle and they tweeze all your hair out oh my god and it hurts like a bitch yeah i bet it lasts so long it lasts longer than a wax for me how do you manage to not pinch your skin uh it just for some reason it just doesn't pinch your skin like it just grabs onto the hair it has like a can I see it yeah I'll get it for you after okay we finished the bit um it has like a protector so your hair has to be a certain length for it to grab it and get it so I think that's why but like once you're getting into it and it sounds terrifying it's so loud so anytime I use it I turn

on my I put headphones on and I turn them on really loud you can't hear it yeah well I also have a thing about loud noises like I don't know it stresses me out when I can hear it like if a toilet is too loud when I flush it I have to cover my ears did the tattoo gun bother you when you're getting your tattoos uh I was so anxious and nervous that I probably just like don't like I literally can't even remember what the sound was I was just like and me and the tattoo artist were talking the whole time got it I've just heard that that's like the worst part for people is the sound the sound yeah I didn't mind the sound it was just like I couldn't really I couldn't see what she was doing I was like I hope this looks good it's on my body forever yeah anyways the

epilator yep fucking hurts lasts so long though but also so I use it on uh the the downtown area um the jewel of the south and um it like once you get going it hurts less but there is a section that i just can't even try like the middle section i just can't even get there i'm like afraid it'll like damage my labia or something yeah that's fair it's very sensitive area yeah and also because it's just so sensitive I'm like this isn't worth it I'll just shave the rest of this yeah but I've never even heard of an epilator well I looked up a bunch because I don't have a car obviously and then like it's such a pain in the ass to go get waxed it's expensive just like and obviously

you're gonna tip a lot because you're like thank you for touching my vagina you stranger during a pandemic yeah and you know what while we're on the topic i want to talk about innies and outies and not your belly button okay let's do it um any and outie vaginas yes uh i actually have a lot of thoughts about this because i kept seeing like girls pop up on tiktok about like outie vaginas and like people calling them like a roast beef an arby's roast beef sandwich and one girl was like i i like my little arby's roast beef and i was like yeah girl like the fact that guys get so gross about it they're like this is sloppy arby's roast beef vagina like you should just be thankful she even let you see it right have you seen your dick dicks are not cute no and also like i think

that people people that don't have vaginas only have a porn education on what vaginas look like and a lot of those porn stars get surgery to make their vaginas look that way are you serious yeah I didn't even know that yeah they'll get labia surgery so that their labias don't stick out and so when I started to watch porn that makes me so sad yeah I mean there's it they like neaten it up you know and so when I started to watch porn that was the first time I was seeing somebody else's vagina and I was like wait mine doesn't look like that like what's wrong with you know and and then i started doing research and it's apparently common knowledge that they'd get surgery to make it look that way which is fucking sad i didn't know that and i'm almost 30

well damn now you know guys don't get labia surgery no like just own your vagina is beautiful yeah you're the things that vaginas are capable of beautiful flowers you know vaginas are self cleaning yeah everyone should know that guys that is yeah please don't don't put soap in your vagina yep no you're gonna fuck up the ph of your of your vagina but yeah vaginas are beautiful they're amazing we have been taught that they're not and that we need to fix them and that fucking sucks that fucking sucks if you have an innie or an outie your vagina is beautiful yeah well and then like i mean the same thing like i was thinking the same thing goes for me for like dicks like i don't care what it looks like me neither like you know just wash it yeah just keep yourself

clean yeah yeah um and even for like men's pubes i uh i don't mind pubes i i like i think personally i prefer if it has a little trim i don't like if it's bald because that feels weird to me i'm like are you a child i don't like this but if it you know it has like a military cut tight tight no if it's just like if it if it's if it's trimmed in a couple areas so uh giving blowjobs is easier and that's really all it is yeah i don't care how it looks you don't want a pube in your throat it's like having a kernel stuck in the back of your throat is the worst because you're like i have to get this out and i'm not gonna swallow it well i feel it up yeah because and then you're like oh my god oh my god no i'm sorry oh my god no yeah just that's why i appreciate

like a little bit of a trim oh yeah no me too it's not expected just appreciate it and then on the other side of that too not about about pubic hair but circumcised versus uncircumcised I recently had sex for the first time with somebody that was uncircumcised and congrats thank you so much thank you and I I'm such a fucking idiot I was like it's gonna be so different and everybody told me when it's hard you can't tell true true you can't I think a lot of men are um are self-conscious of their like uncircumcised dicks and they shouldn't be westernized ideology it really is it really really is it's not it's not something to be ashamed of it's so interesting you brought up uncircumcised dicks because i can't remember like how it got brought

up but like my boyfriend and i were talking about it and i was like what do you think like you're a i feel like i can't fully have an opinion on this yeah i don't have a penis right so i'm not gonna make a decision for penises imagine that men wow what a novel thought anyways um i was like what do you like what's your opinion on it and he's like oh i think we were listening to a podcast that's why and um he was like i think it's pointless to do it and i was like pointless yeah like he's just like if it's not necessary then like why do it yeah and I was like that's fair yeah but there's also cultural a lot of the time um Jewish parents will circumcise their kids I think that's different I think they'll have a rabbi do it yeah a brisk yeah brisk there was a

Seinfeld episode about it um but yeah other like it's just I don't know I think that's another porn thing i've there's been a lot more porn recently that has been circumcised yeah but i don't care either way yeah a dick's a dick they're not pretty to look at but i fucking love them and across the board i just feel like don't give me an std i don't care right you are circumcised or not i just don't want an std did you know that the um there's a word for like the gook that gets caught in um foreskin isn't it smegma smegma i hate that i call it uh what was i gonna say um sex fact of the week should we have a song yeah let's get into a little wrap up with uh what did we what did we call you this last episode angels no you uh our sexpert

oh our sexpert expert sexpert expert or something like that i like it anyways i'm a i'm an expert googler yep if anything um apparently according to this article 13 is the magic number seven hour sex marathons may be the norm for sting and trudy i don't know who that is but most people say sting and trudy most people say anywhere between 7 and 13 minutes is the desired optimum time for penetrative sex yeah thoughts uh i think that makes sense because if there is if you're doing it right and you're getting um some foreplay then yeah you're ready to go right they did specify penetrative yeah that's a good point so if you're doing like oral sex and like who knows what else you have involved you doing some kinky stuff seven to 13 minutes is you get a lot done in

seven to 13 yeah yeah I realized like 20 is my sweet spot usually when the sex is very good and very efficient I'll look at the clock and it is almost always 20 minutes I never look at the time at all I think because I'm hooking up with people like very casually I'm like I got here at this time we started having sex at this time and I'm out the door at this time you know my bag always 20 minutes music man and I actually just talked about that last time we 20 minutes is the sweet spot we've just we have noticed we're like oh it was 20 minutes like it's just that's just always how it is which is interesting and it's always good I'm never like wrap it up me and my ex when we first started having sex don't you not like foreplay hate foreplay yeah I mean that makes

but that's also i'm just obsessed with him but with my ex i would have sex for two hours when we first started having sex i think we were both trying to impress each other it got cut down like a half hour later in our relationship two hours and we would tell people that and they'd be like what why and that's a good question why it's too long that is too long i did not have the stamina still don't never did no one has that stamina no what the fuck two hours yeah that's mean seven to thirteen minutes i've seen i feel like that is actually a good what seven feels a little short seven feels a little short yeah thirteen minutes feels about right for the penetrative part yeah anyway i'll time it next time and like you know how many positions are

you doing that's a great fucking song okay well thanks for listening if you're listening on apple podcast please throw us a rating yeah please uh throw us a rating on apple podcast um subscribe download if you want uh you don't have to but follow us on do you follow us on spotify yeah yeah you can follow us on spotify follow us on spotify um subscribe to us on soundcloud send us an email holy hour podcast at gmail.com uh or you can slide into the dms on any of our social media amen amen thanks for listening we love you bye angels we love you just call them angels in the morning oh i thought you were going somewhere else about jail

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