The Hoely Hour - E32 Does the Beard Match the Pubes?

Episode Date: March 27, 2021

IT'S FRIDAY BABY! We're reminiscing on some of our favorite moments in our earlier episodes! Amelia once heard that men's beards are correlated to how turned on they are, Liz will be calling her future children "lil b*tch," a rollercoaster romance featuring an actual sociopathic liar (but for good?), what aftercare is and why it is SO IMPORTANT! And finally, the story of Lilith and why she is our baddie lil mascot. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

we like went on a couple dates and like made out but we didn't like do anything else and this sounds so bad but he was wearing like this dumb ass hat and i immediately lost attraction to him like one of those patty caps i was like so like i was like i'm not into this anymore that would probably turn me all the way off especially in my early 20s like shit like that would always turn me off about guys like really petty shit but to be fair it'd probably turn me off at 27 i think that's oh god if you're not an old ass man or a tiny child you can't be wearing that hat there's no excuse you look like a newsie so i'm amazed that there are people that actually think like i'm gonna put this on i'm gonna fucking kill it yeah i'm fucking slaying in this hat

welcome to the holy hour i am liz ball um i'm sort of hosting by myself again today but um amelia and i have been reunited recently um and we recorded next week's episode so she's back but for this episode we agreed that we're just going to do a little compilation for you guys we know we have a lot of like new listeners trickling in and I feel like new listeners kind of listen to like the more recent episodes first which makes sense because you know when you first get started in a podcast uh you're not very good at it um so I went through and pulled some of um my favorite moments from earlier episodes and that means you guys don't have to go back and listen to all of them or you can if you want. So the first bits that I have are from episode three and we discuss

the science behind beards and testosterone and then we also talk about how we feel about thirst traps. Uh, and I think it's not a very big secret how we feel about thirst traps, but, um, Amelia is texting me right now. It's like her ears were ringing. Um, you all know how we feel about thirst traps. We love them. We support them. We want you to tag us in them. So here's the origin of how we feel about thirst traps and uh just some theories about beards wow i like the scruffy look because i feel like in a lot of movies like when a guy is like spending the night at a girl's house he wakes up and he has like afternoon shadow scruff for no reason yeah for what did this grow overnight my leg hair grows like really fast so i feel like it's not too far out i've never thought about like

how quickly a beard might grow or how quickly facial hair grows like it just grows overnight like the grass like yeah I don't know actually because it's so weird to think about like sleeping next to a guy and while you guys are sleeping you wake up you're next to like a totally different person he's like Tim Allen and Santa Claus just full beard i read something that said if if a guy like beards grow faster men are thinking about sex which i know is not the case but like it kind of makes sense like you need a doctor to weigh in on this should be calling up right now you you measure how horny a guy is by how quickly his beard grows but i'm thinking because if the testosterone's flowing it's flowing everywhere

out his face how fast does his beard grow in comparison to his pubes does the carpet match the drapes oh god I really want to know I'm going to start asking them that does the beard match the pubes

making myself cry on the first date so does the beard match the pews when i thirst trap on the gram we all are thirst trapping because there's one guy we want to look at that fucking thirst trap i yes and my twitter bae yeah my twitter bae would always respond to my thirst traps they are tried and true you will always get I posted one of our holy hour photos on my story the other day with one guy in mind and all of the guys came out of the wood yes it's it is there's a science did the one guy also respond instantly he was like he like texted me with like a drooling face I was like it me I mean you like me there needs to be a search feature on Instagram stories someone needs Instagram if you're listening which I know you're not but

instagram if you're listening there needs to be search feature on stories because a lot of us girls are out here posting stuff on our stories waiting for one person to see it yes there's search features on everything else and not on stories i know i've been please indulge my toxic behavior but do you know where that person falls in your story like you know where they are oh yeah yep yep but it'll change sometimes like it'll be like sometimes we'll be talking more and more on instagram and he'll like move up the list but otherwise i know like who he sits between and those two people are always looking at my story so I know like if he's not between those two people I don't need to keep looking yeah exactly I do that too I did that with my twitter bae anyways

um yeah so thirst traps will always get you the attention so I feel like a lot of people when they see people posting thirst traps like I think people need to change their their way of thinking about them when they see other people posting them because I think a lot of people are like oh my god she's so vain first of all there's no issue with that let women feel empowered by how they look yeah let it happen we're hot and we're not gonna be hot forever so just let us fucking enjoy it and we have so much shit that's knocking us down and trying to make us smaller in the world so if we feel like we want to post our tits on instagram let let it happen they're not gonna look like this forever i'm documenting how hot i look right now and i'm gonna be stoked about it

and it's i'm allowed to be happy that i'm hot right now we should be celebrating women feeling comfortable posting themselves on Instagram like if people are feeling good enough about themselves to be like I look fucking hot in that photo and I want everybody to see it that is like I want to cry thinking about sometimes I'll see my friends posting like a really hot picture yeah and you're like oh my gosh you're fucking killing it you stole my wig I fucking love you this is my you are my muse you are my flame you look so hot you look so good I'm so proud of you for showing everyone how fucking hot you look i hope that your future kids see this yes and because then they'll be like mom what is this and then you can be like this is why you were born little bitch this picture made you

exist in the world yeah your father saw this picture and came over we fucked yeah so this picture yeah we're gonna hang in a room this is how i got this is how you were born we're hanging this above okay you can thank this beautiful ass thank my ass thank my titties okay this is why you are here pray to the ass yeah pray to the titties yeah thirst chest is how you were born little bitch this is how i got your father in my dms he didn't even know i existed before this okay i planned this you didn't know i existed before that's so funny i found him on the internet okay which is where everything is going nowadays sourced it out yeah we outsourced yeah i was like listen you don't know me but you're mine maybe testosterone is the fertilizer of beards

who's to say I've also always wanted to have a beard um I just I've always wondered like if women could grow beards then I feel like there would be a lot more I'm just curious what would be trending like what would be trendy if women grew beards like there would be so many different options and looks for facial hair and I just feel like I'm missing out and you know what it would be nice to also only have to use half of the amount of makeup because I could put a beard on um anyways this next little bit that uh you guys are about to listen to is from episode four and Amelia and I talk about how we feel about the phrase sucked off along with the how we feel about some dirty talk phrases um and you can kind of guess how it goes

uh and then Amelia reveals that she likes to be slapped in the face um on occasion and uh our first ideas of what kind of merch we want to create also appeared in this episode so let us know what you think how do you feel about the phrase sucked off i feel like it's one of those phrases that guys think is really hot like oh yeah like she she sucked me off like do you guys say that seriously i've never heard a guy say it it just sounds very porny you know what would you say like so what would you do if like a guy was like hey will you suck me off like during foreplay like no no no i've never heard someone say it seriously like yeah i got sucked off who fucking says that i think that if a guy like propositioned

that to me like will you suck me off i'd be like no and also i'm going home yeah i would go all the way home i would just get my clothes straight to bed yeah i'm going to not even drive home i'm going to say nothing to you put my clothes on and then just walk out your door and all the way home like that is because i was like i would be i would need to think it just doesn't really make sense as a phrase i'm like thinking about it i get sucked but like sucked off like i don't know it's like instead of jacked off you're like get off you get oh like jacked off i guess that makes sense sucked off i hate that i hate it so much i've never heard anybody i was wondering if it was like a coastal thing sucked off it's kind of like how how like you know like

how i feel about cock i hate that you don't like cock not really so what do you like like if you're like having sex with a guy and he's like oh yeah like you like this cock yeah well it always yes yeah so it reminds me of that scene in super bad where she's like super drunk and she's like you're such a smooth cock and he's like yeah i don't like any of the words that we use for genitalia in the bed though because it's like i don't like dick like you like this dick i don't i just don't like that it's like yeah because that's almost like cock is like too porny and then like dick is like boring or i don't know it feels like juvenile yeah yeah yeah like do you like this big dick like there's something about cock that feels

like aggressive enough and I like I kind of like like I like being called a slut in bed so like I feel like cock kind of comes it's like in the family of slut you know it's like that's true like this cock like I don't like what I would like do you want this would you like this penis well I was gonna say there's like not a good word no but then like like we said before is just like guys will always say like do you like my dick or like yeah like please compliment it do you like this day I need to be uplifted right now I'll tell you if I like it do you like my dick yeah like if I want to compliment it like I'm having a tough day do you like my dick it's just such a it's such an interesting thing to like ask people questions in bed like I feel

like i i've hooked up with some guys that like having those conversations in bed where they're like oh like i was like do you like my my big dick in your tight pussy i hate pussy in bed too i hate it too i was just about to say that there's no because like what's the alternative for pussy what is it do you like this big penis in your tight vagina and then we put on the rubber medical gloves and a hairnet and we put a sheet in between us with just a hole it's a glory sheet yeah

it just gets real medical oh fuck oh my god that's so funny but no no i don't know what the alternative for pussy would be i've never thought about it like smash why do we need to describe the genitalia well i like also like when guys are like you feel so good rather than like i love that pussy like i don't need you to tell i know what i have i know what you have yeah we're on the same page about what we have you don't need to go into detail with i i i don't know i like basic stuff like um and i i don't want to be asked like do you like x about me or whatever i want to hear them say something about me yeah and i want to say something about them yes they're like oh you're so fucking hot yeah yeah everyone always

says it's so fucking hot but it feels like i don't know it's an eco boost yeah god it's like gasses me up i'll do better if you're giving me compliments just like you don't have to guess yeah yeah just being told like you're sexy or something or like yeah i don't know no i like little things like that or like um some guys will find out that i like that well they won't find out i will have told them and and then they'll try to do it every time we have sex so like oh yeah i hate that sex needs to be different every time yes like some days it's gonna be passionate and some days it's gonna be fucking raunchy and like sloppy and yes don't sweaty right and that's the kind of sex that you slap someone in the face during but like yeah when we're like having like

slow passionate sex and then you just like whack me across the face just like really like into it intense eye contact like gently like kissing your neck and then just like a slap in the face like are you mad at me is this abuse now wrong oh my god like oh god that's so true so like you know men don't carry around purses or whatever so like but they have pockets right they make men's jeans have pockets deep enough for your wallet and your phone so you don't need a brief what are you bringing around half the time like women's jeans don't have pockets i know or they're they are a lot

smaller they are i was in um you know i was in that uh that ad for the women's jeans that finally had pockets do you remember seeing that i think so and they went nowhere because they make jeans look super weird when they have pockets it helps like these these pockets that's as deep as they go what am i gonna put in there you can't put anything in women's pockets anything but the men's pockets they go like you get cargo shorts with like 50 really deep pockets in it we've never had pants like that so i have no reason he has no reason i want my purse to be on my legs i want i want an invention where like your purse is on your ass yeah but it's like padded so it makes you look like you have like a fat ass which for me would be nice because i don't have a big

ass at all so i want a butt purse where it's like padded on the outside and i can put my phone in there that should be one of our first merch items yeah we're gonna make we're gonna make merch it's gonna be a butt purse we've actually been talking about what merch we would have if we had merch yeah so keep listening and then you'll get you'll get maybe we'll have merch that'll be incentive to a butt plug and a butt pad like a branded butt plug with our faces on it you can get an amelia butt plug or liz but it's just me smiling like jack nicholson here's johnny

you'll be the patron saint of butt plugs as a patron saint of butt plugs even though i've never any butt stuff if you've listened to all of our episodes up until this point you would know that uh some of those things have changed and um i cannot recommend a butt plug enough i think that they're fun and also uh please let us know if you would buy a jack nicholson inspired um butt plug with our faces on it I don't know how we would ever make that merchandise but um I believe in dreaming big I don't know about you but that's my Friday energy is dream big put your face on a butt plug um this next piece uh is also from episode four and it's about this crazy guy that I like had kind of seen a little bit in college

and the story is just an emotional roller coaster um whatever I say you will not be expecting unless you've already listened to that episode but it's one of my favorite stories to tell this is another story from when I was in college um when I had stayed over the summer um I need a I need a nickname for this guy um I'm gonna call him motorcycle okay because he had a motorcycle obviously because he looked like a motorcycle I don't know what that would mean um so while i was in college this was my that it was the summer between my sophomore and junior year i had decided to stay in flagstaff for the summer and i made like a like a fun little group of friends that had also decided to stay there that i knew from like my freshman

year and like had made over my sophomore year so we became like this group of friends we're all underage so we'd just get like fucked up at someone's apartment because somehow we'd be able to get like a handle or something I'd known him very casually like he was in a fraternity I kind of knew him and then I got to know him a lot better over the summer because he was like hooking up with my friend and um like things fizzled out with them pretty quickly and he was also from Vegas so I was like hey if you're ever if you ever need to go back to Vegas like I have a car like you can totally carpool with me and he was like actually I want to bring my motorcycle back to Vegas and then bring my car up here but I'm worried my motorcycle might break down so

next time you go I'll follow you in my motorcycle and I was like okay yeah one of the weekends I'm like yep I'm going home to Vegas this weekend it's my brother's graduation party like feel free to like I'll follow me in your motorcycle and let me know if like it breaks down we can figure something out my mom's like do you want to invite motorcycle over for your brother's graduation party it's like a big barbecue I was like sure I'll let him know like the invitations out there he decided he was like yeah I mean if it's not like a serious thing I'll totally just show up and I was like yeah come through get some food whatever and then while he's there he's telling my mom and her friends this story about they're both teachers so he starts telling them how he

was homeless in high school he says that his mom oh he got kicked out my mom was like you know teachers are trained to look for like signs that a student might be abused or like homeless or something so my mom was like well where did you stay and he was like i would sleep under the bleachers she was like did any teacher like reach out to you like how did you take care of yourself and he's like i would couch surf when i could and like you know take showers in the in the gym um like before school started and then she was like did a teacher notice this and he's like yeah my counselor noticed and like set me up with like um this like homeless teens service um where they give like housing to homeless teenagers and like give them like um uh grocery gift cards yeah so

he tells them that story and it was just like very moving to see like some someone who has been helped by the education system and yeah I was just really moved like watching this whole thing happen in front of me and then um we kind of went our separate ways for the summer like I went back to Flagstaff and he stayed in Las Vegas so he could like he lived with his aunt and then and then he was like I don't know my FAFSA that's gonna go through and I was like that fucking sucks I hope you can come back so then I go back to college and then school starts and then I was in charge of my sorority's recruitment so i was like doing my own thing after being in charge of recruitment any lady who's been through recruitment knows that that shit is exhausting

um so being in charge of that i uh appropriately decided to get very very drunk when it was all over when all was said and done i was like i'm getting fucked up hell yeah so i went to like a fraternity party and then um motorcycle was there and i was like oh my god i didn't know that you made it like i didn't know you made it back up to school like you said your fast phone might not go through and then i like um he was worried like his aunt was gonna get evicted so he was like trying to help out with rent for her and that's why he stayed in vegas and then i was like i thought you weren't going to get your FAFSA and like what happened with your aunt like did you guys end up being homeless and he was like yeah my aunt got it or not homeless um I was like did

she end up getting evicted and then he was like yeah my aunt got evicted um but I was like what did you do and he was like I actually stayed with your with your parents because when he was at the barbecue my mom was like well if you ever need anything like you can always stay with us and so I remember that and then he's like I actually stayed with your family and then I was like what oh my god my mom didn't tell me and then he was like I was just really ashamed that I didn't have anywhere to stay and um I remember that your your mom had offered to let me stay with them if my aunt got evicted and I like took them up on that offer and I asked them not to say anything to you because I was just really embarrassed and I was like oh my god that's like I I can't like that

so on brand for my parents and i was just like i can't i can't believe that you've stayed there over the summer and like i was just like very touched yeah um and i was like how did you get into my house and he's like i just used the garage code and i was like did you ever hang out with my brother and he's like i mean i i was only there so i had somewhere to sleep like like i if i was there he wasn't really there and then i was like asking him other questions and he was like yeah your mom would just like text me if there was food in the fridge or something and i was like oh my god that's so moving and if any of you guys know my mom aka mama b mama b is everyone's second mom like she loves like being a good hostess because she's been so scarred by like staying

at people's places and they're bad hosts so she like over hosts she's like very good at being a hostess um your mom is so great well your mom sounds great too our our moms would totally get along we're so lucky um yeah so i was just like very moved and i was just like wow i can't believe like i love that my family did this for this guy and then um i ended up making out with him we didn't yeah we didn't like hook up we made out and then um i was like super hung over the next day and then I had to go to work like a little bit later and I and I was a cocktail waitress so I made it past my hangover by then so I went to my cocktail waitressing job and then I called my mom really quick before my shift started and then I was like hey mom um motorcycle told me he stayed

with you guys over the summer and she was like what and then I was like yeah I mean I know he told you not to tell me like um because he was embarrassed and then she's like what are you talking about shut the fuck up yeah so i told her the story and i included all of the details he told me like i was like he said he got in with the garage code he said that you would text him that there was food waiting for him and then he said that like my brother wasn't home or like when when he was when he was there like he because my brother is like always out with friends always so it was just all these specific details that really matched my family's behavior i do not like that yeah that's the psychopath stuff like really so then my mom was like no he never stayed

here like she offered the opportunity and he never took them up he never stayed there and i was like hungover trying to process this and i was like what the fuck and then i was like i'm about to start my shift i like i'll talk to you after this and then i called back and my dad was freaking out my dad was like do not talk to this guy ever again like don't talk to him and so i was like ignoring him he kept trying to hit me up and i was like avoiding him and then i like went home and he showed up at my door because our dorm rooms like the greek life dorm was just one big building so he shows up in my dorm room and then he's like why haven't you been like responding to me and i was like you lied to me about staying with my fucking family for the summer and he's

like i'm sorry i just wanted to seem closer to your family what and i was just like why did you think that you could tell me this and i wouldn't find out right you're gonna follow up with your mom exactly and i was like obviously you know how close i am with my family and you really thought you could tell me this and i wouldn't find out and he's like i feel like i i don't know i just was saying in the moment and i wanted to seem closer to you because i like you and i was like there are other ways to do that i was like this is crazy it's fucking crazy that's really scary I taught so I had brought this up to my therapist like if you met him you would know he like it didn't seem like vindictive like he it's so weird to explain like clearly this is some

psychopath shit well but he I don't think he is the kind of psychopath that would hurt someone it's just like the ability to like scan a room and be able to pick up on details like you have a garage code um he's heard that like maybe he heard in conversation that your brother's out every night he knows that your mom is the kind of person that would like text him to say that there's food in the fridge like yeah being able to like pick out those details and construct such a lie is scary that's vindictive or not exactly anyway go on so when i talked to my therapist about it i'm just like i like this shit is crazy because also it happened years ago so i like i've been seeing my therapist for a year but when i talked to her about it i was like

it was just something that had come up like a memory that had come up which that happens in therapy and she was like well you know that might have been better than what actually happened to him that summer oh shit yeah and then think about i know so because i was like i was like i never felt afraid of him um i was like definitely like what the literal fuck but i never got this feeling that he was gonna hurt me so but i still was just like what the fuck and then she was like well you know that might have been better than what actually happened to him that summer and um i bet that he did really like he saw your family dynamic and wanted to experience that and i was like and like compulsive liars can convince themselves that things happen too

oh yeah but it's like oh you can like you can corroborate that story very quickly by just calling your mom for 10 seconds and i'm sure he knew that and my therapist is sure he knew that but it gets even fucking crazier how i know so i didn't know this until recently but he has been doing ted talks on how he was homeless in high school and then his family is commenting on it and they're like he was he was never kicked out he ran away from home like his family's doing fine he ran away from home and i mean we don't know his home life but he has been able to like he lit he did a whole like vlog series where he was homeless on the streets in new york and raised a bunch of money to donate to the homeless so like he is a fucking sociopath but he's like

being a good guy as a result it's fucking crazy it's so weird like i'm so can't amelia's brain is melting in front of me right now how did you i would be scared that i was like like close at all to somebody that was so capable of like lying about shit like that and there really is that's like um i mean when you're 21 you're kind of like not like i was too focused on myself to be like like whoa i knew that i was like oh this guy's fucking crazy in hindsight like what is insanely hot though let me show you what it looks like but like holy shit like can pull like that is some serious lying yes that's like intensive observant he gives the ball king ted talks he gives ted talks about being homeless grandpa has something

to say about that grandpa's liz's cat we don't have an old man yeah and i just wish that he would be quiet grandpa come here yeah i know you're gonna see him and be like i might let this guy lie to me oh god holy shit oh wow what a name on that one well that's his model name it's not even his real name of course he lies about his name i know what the fuck he probably didn't want his family to continue tracking him wait does he have other pictures yeah he does holy shit oh i know man he's like stupid hot this is a bizarre story welcome to redux a podcast about music by a music lover for music lovers i'm van berryman math teacher by trade podcaster by hobby former radio host and production coordinator and avid

music lover step into redux for deep looks into album reviews with a concise but thorough comparison of an artist's first album to their most recent and their journey to get there plus top 10 lists best ofs and other musical inputs to get you through the day if you like what you hear drop a follow on instagram at redux podcast and feel free to let me know there what reviews you want to hear come along on this journey with me sit back and enjoy the ride so this next bit is from episode six and this one was requested from a listener um they requested the conversation about um aftercare when we first talk about it and I'm sure we've mentioned it plenty of times in our more recent episodes but we are big fans

and believers in aftercare. So this is the first episode in the good word. That's what it's called about aftercare. And let us know what kind of aftercare you like and if aftercare is something that you practice. Because I said then and I'll say it now and I'll continue to say it. I think anybody engaging in physical relationships should be practicing aftercare essentially aftercare is what it is is the emotional fulfillment you need after like a bdsm scene because um submissives have a much larger drop than a dominant because like you have your adrenaline is really going and i would say after the first time we hooked up i definitely had a little bit of a drop um and it also might have been because we took shrooms that'll do it and i wasn't sure if i was

gonna share that like you know i did drugs but um i feel like that's a little relevant yeah you know um so i think it was a combination of both like a drop from like having just like this insanely awesome first date and like an a unique sexual experience with like a person who i think is really great just a lot of things to come down from and i was like oh why am i feeling kind of weird and then he he was like we need to talk about aftercare if we're gonna like keep you know seeing each other so when i was reading about it i was like holy fuck i think everyone having sex should be doing this I I think that like this is a lot of what I've been missing in the past with my sexual experiences um there he goes he sees a bird oh I love that is that Gatsby yeah

um anyways I I definitely think that's a lot of what I had been missing and I mean it's no secret that like I do have a lot of complicated feelings around objectification and um sex in general and like with my sexual history with past partners of you know being told like the only reason I'm with you is because I like having sex with you like that fucking sucked and it was painful and then the way that um shoe man treated sex where he like didn't meet any of my emotional needs and um was like very manipulative and controlling but then had this expectation that I should always be wanting to have sex with him and like calling me a fleshlight who talks to him is just I it's so fucked up I can't imagine saying that to somebody yeah it makes me sad

it so I think um yeah just not having any of my emotional needs met in a relationship and then being held to this expectation of like yep I just want to fuck you and like you should be willing to do that no matter how you feel yeah or like I don't know you're here for one thing and I found myself like um just like forcing myself to have sex even when I didn't want to because I was like well maybe I'll like be into it when it's happening but the truth is is just like none of my emotional needs were being met and i think that um yeah in a bdsm scene like i'm in control of not having control like i'm consenting to not having any control and i think that's like um the part that is appealing to me is like um it's my choice to

not have control yeah and whereas before like it it wasn't my choice to be subjective your power was just being taken from you exactly wow so wow um yeah but like essentially some of the emotional things that you might need afterwards are like words of affirmation or snuggling and um maybe you want like to eat your favorite snack just to feel cared for in the way that is the most meaningful to you and doms have a drop too you know so that was something that we also talked about because I was like okay well if I you know it's more likely for a sub to have a drop like is what can I also do for you and then um for him he was like I I just need to make sure like I need to know that you feel taken care of and that's how I avoid having a drop like having a podcast

about sex and dating has honestly really like forced us to be transparent from the beginning totally with each other so there's no secrets it's like if i'm going to be talking about this later i have to talk to you about it first yeah yeah yeah um it was that's just such an i don't want to cut you off but it's just such it's such an interesting um idea the aftercare piece because we talked about this when we talked before of like yeah it's so important in a BDSM setting to have aftercare but like recognizing even if you're not in a BDSM situation recognizing what you need after sex is exactly so fucking important like I was thinking about it after you told me about it and I was like thinking of the times that I've had sex where I've left feeling super empty

because as I'm sure everybody listening knows now if you've been listening for a while like I am trying to keep feelings out of almost everything that I'm doing so when I would leave sex and still feel empty it's like well I I went into this knowing that there wasn't going to be any feelings involved so why do I feel so empty and sad when I'm leaving certain situations and then you told me about aftercare and I'm like fuck like the times that I leave feeling sad are the times that I don't pay attention to my needs after sex usually it's like we'll have sex and I'll just get up and leave and that's when I feel sad when objectively I'm like that's what I want why the fuck do I care like I want it to just be you want to make it black and white and it's not and it's

not there's no way that it can be because sex is no matter what no matter how you spin it it's an emotional thing in some sense it's different for everyone but it is there's always a piece of it that's emotional and I was approaching all of my sexual relationships as just like I just have a need that needs to be met you have a need that needs to be met that we leave but it's actually I have a need that needs to be met and then also all of these needs afterward and I'm not telling you to like be my boyfriend after all of this fuck no but it's like I want to just like lay down and like chat afterward like yeah I want to feel like a human afterward that aftercare is so fucking important and it's so important it's i think amelia made a great point of just like um

it doesn't need to be a bdsm experience and like it's it's obvious if it's like a bdsm experience you're like oh yeah i just like degraded you and like essentially used you but like we both were consenting to to that experience but like it's obvious how that might affect your um emotional state yeah of being like yeah i was just used like what does this mean for my worth or whatever so that aftercare portion makes a lot of sense um but no one really considers it in the um like vanilla sex aspect right right um so i think yeah once i was reading more about it i i immediately was like everyone needs to be doing like thinking about aftercare and considering their emotional needs after sex because even if you're in a relationship and like a loving relationship

or a long-term relationship hopefully that's also loving whatever relationship you're in you need to be considering your emotional needs after sex and finally this last little wrap up is from episode 22 called men could never um and this is the origin story of Lilith and if you don't know who Lilith is uh she might as well be our mascot um before Eve there was Lilith and Lilith is a badass lady and I think this is the perfect little segment to end this episode fucking eve shouldn't have eaten that apple did you know that's an analogy for sex it is you've had sex dirty bastards haven't we all fucked a snake though we i fucked a few snakes i fucked a few snakes or at least known a snake

yeah yeah i've known a few and fucked a few they've never given me an apple they've not given me anything except good stories and heartbreak sometimes they give you an std yeah yeah i would take an apple honestly oh my god before there was eve there was lilith oh tell me about lilith so wow we're actually getting the biblical part of this if you've seen sabrina the new one okay there's a Lilith character but um Lilith uh was the first woman before Eve and she wanted to be um Satan's equal he was like no you have to lay beneath me and she's like no I want to lay next to you oh I like Lilith equal and he was like bad bitch no and then God took

Lilith away and like Lilith was like Satan's like lover like he was in love with Lilith and God took her away and then um he made Eve and Lilith like likeness whoa so Satan was in love with Eve I didn't know that so I know nothing that's generally what I know I have a book called like uh bad girls throughout history or something and Lilith is the first woman in it I want to name my daughter Lilith now Lily oh oh this is a cool cover jimming the camera um so it's called bad girls throughout history by Ann Shen and I um first saw it because I thought the art was really beautiful so that's why I bought it and then it just has like um a short little biography of a bunch of amazing women throughout history

and i love that the first woman is lilith fucking incredible i already i flipped to just random pages i'm already in love with these women anita garibaldi wrote into battle on horseback and pregnant men could never i think i want to get men could never tattooed on me somewhere because i say it so often men could never like whenever there's like a woman like on the news like there was a there was a doctor who was in the hospital giving birth and a woman came in giving birth and her doctor what couldn't be there on like they were on call so they couldn't get there in time and like this woman was having her baby and so this doctor who was in labor delivered this woman's baby this woman's in labor yes men could never well this man couldn't even get to the hospital

on time this woman's like so many doctors are like they want to schedule like a day for you to be induced yeah because it works for their schedule and that's why if i have children i will be having them in a bathtub with a midwife at home or in like a birthing center uh i don't know yet depends on what my home looks like yeah what's it do i have a nice bathtub or like a like a relaxing area yeah a creepy basement we'll revisit lights and candles in my creepy basement have a seance yeah i love that name it lilith um okay i found the lilith page i'll read it okay it's it's biblical story time on the holy hour it all began with lilith the lesser known first wife of adam who was kicked out of the garden of eden adam insisted she lie beneath him but

she wanted to lie next to him and be equal bad bitches because she refused to be subservient to adam lilith left the garden of eden became associated with the archangel sam sam i l sam sam l we know of lilith because she is represented as a demon in many religious mysticism texts she is never mentioned in the bible it doesn't get much more badass than getting rejected from the bible does it no it does not lilith the real bad bitches that's my fucking proud i really want this book this is phenomenal i mean i i said uh she wanted to lay next to satan instead of adam but who's to say adam isn't satan you know i think all men are kind of sane just kidding i'm just kidding i love a lot of you

thank you for joining me for this little flashback um i had a lot of fun like listening to old conversations that I don't remember us having which is a little scary that I don't remember having these conversations and they are publicly accessible um but I did get a good laugh out of a lot of these things and my homework for you guys is to listen to Lil Nas X's new song Montero um because that is the fucking energy we're bringing in to all of April it's Aries season I feel it coursing through my veins because I am an Aries moon and that's why I am insufferable uh anyways thank you for joining me and um Amelia and I can't wait to talk to you again next week love you

Oh, yeah.