The Hoely Hour - E38 The F*ckboi Spectrum

Episode Date: May 7, 2021

Buckle up folks, maybe get near a trashcan or something because the girls kick off today's episode with a truly repulsive story from Reddit about what happens when cis men don't properly clean uh... down there. Remember Your Puppy Girl Jenna? Liz hasn't stopped thinking about her... Anyways, here's where she is now and how she became a human dog. Amelia and Liz take the hot seat and share what THEIR red flags are. And finally, let's talk about dating app choice fatigue. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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welcome to the holy hour i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball i saw this video on my tiktok like right before you got here someone had stitched it and i looked at the original and she's like um i know it's like a trend for people to say i hate all men but it's like not cute or attractive and she goes on this rant amelia you're you just astral projected out of your body when i said that but i was just like you're missing the point like girls who are using this sound don't want the approval of men they don't care about the approval of men and if they are attracted to men um using that sound weeds out the ones that they don't want in their lives it's a fantastic filter yeah and the and then they're like the only people agreeing with her are men i mean of course

of course and that's exactly what she wanted well and then she's like pretty so i was like okay you obviously benefit from like the patriarchy because it's more tolerable for you and you've been taught that getting men's approval is like successful or something like that's where you find your worth but other people don't need the approval of men to like themselves so like all through junior high and high school she was feeling very validated by all of the boys in school making her feel like somebody and so I'm sure that that's the one thing that she has and they're like girls with guns are hot or some shit but I also realized that this type of girl like they're rewarded for the way that they look and then like pandering to this type of man but when they age and they realize

that no one like cares about women after a certain age and they're dismissed like women don't just die after like 35 you know yeah and once she is dismissed and no longer seen as an asset to like this type of patriarchy she's gonna be become a karen yeah she's gonna become the bitch that's yelling at some fucking 17 year old retail worker about how the customer is always right it's the becky karen pipeline needs attention yep always the type of bitch who's gonna be an anti-masker because no one's looked at her since she was 28 i said it i said what i said that was a beautiful rant thank you i've been thinking about it my bones yeah i've been thinking about it for the last like 20 minutes i came with a list today

usually liz writes the list i almost said list writes the liz that's yeah i mean the list does write me we write each other wait can we talk about what your boyfriend said when you asked if um like he thought that you were funny listening to the episodes he was like yeah so I showed him one of the videos that Amelia put together uh to put on our TikTok and um and then I was like sometimes I wonder if I'm actually funny or if Amelia makes me feel funny because she laughs so much and then we like had a little chuckle and then he was like he's like no you are funny but Amelia thinks you're hilarious I was like okay ow it's so true though he's like he's like I'm just kidding there's lots of times where I actually laugh

out loud when you guys are talking so that made me feel better I do whenever I'm going through the videos I am laughing at what you're saying about 90% of all of the videos that makes me feel it's just a lot of laughing that this this is just a i laugh i laugh a lot good oh that's good oh i love to hear that well some the only things that i have are some uh just reddit things okay one of them is okay so one of these things i saw on reddit is a today i fucked up and it have you seen those no okay um so it's someone someone usually tells a story about how they fucked up and like it blew up in their face and it's usually like a funny little anecdote and this one is oh holy shit i didn't expect it to be that loud that was amazing that was

like a commercial go on um so one of them is relevant to what we talked about a couple weeks ago um about how like why is it okay for a man's penis to be in my mouth but you know why can't what's wrong with his own dick that if i kiss him after i go down on him that he doesn't want me to kiss him um so here is a reason why oh it's disgusting oh god i it's really gross so the title is today i fucked up by not washing my dick for 19 years that's just that's just the title what yeah okay you look so sad 19 years is he 19 yes i don't know what would be worse if he wasn't 19 i used to wash it and then i yeah got too lazy please go ahead today i present to you my lifelong fuck up i am a 19 year old guy i own a penis and i've never cleaned it properly in my life

oh my god so today i was taking a piss at my job and i noticed a small yellow fragment at the top of my penis nope i wondered where it came from the only logical answer was inside of my dick so i peeled the foreskin back a little further every pull and when i got right to the edge of my glands i found the place it originated from my penis was covered with a yellow clay-like substance at first i thought it was normal but then the smell hit me at first i thought it was normal okay go on i realized what had happened when i was younger my dad told me to wash my dick or my dad told me that to wash my dick i should pull the foreskin back and i did or so i thought i have always washed my dick but by pulling back the foreskin just slightly until it

uncovered just the tip of my glands i thought that was just fine and i never really thought anything of it i've also been sexually active while this shit was probably in there but never more than once with the same girl weird coincidence anyway i'm realizing all this while still standing at the urinal at work i tried to peel the loose pieces off and they let go pretty easy i know i was like this is worse than i thought it was gonna be the biggest pieces are still stuck to my dick it looks pretty much like their continence i put my dick in the sink and turned the faucet on hoping i could wash the big plaques off i couldn't my dick was sensitive as hell and the pieces are stuck i'm about to go in the shower and peel it at it with q-tips and

my fingers until it's clean and i plan on washing my dick better in the future i hope that what i've accumulated right now doesn't lead to any serious issues tldr haven't washed my dick properly in 19 years but i wasn't aware now my dick has a crusty smegma layer that i'm going to have to peel off i just this is a man who let women near his dick i am i have i have a few questions mm-hmm i don't know where to begin what you've you've had sex with an uncircumcised penis yes the foreskin pulls back yeah it does it looks circumcised when it's hard

how did he not see it when he was hard right if the foreskin if it was behind the foreskin i don't know enough about foreskin you know and i wasn't inspecting were there pictures my partner's dick when i yeah we didn't do any sexting i wasn't like hey can i check this out for a little while um but there's also an edit so it says edit for all the other guys that have made the same mistake as me nope nope nope no and the edit is just how to wash his dick but the comments are like oh fuck i realized this after reading your today i fucked up so men are just out here not washing their dicks and and and then wanting you to have sex with it that is fucking disgusting i'm actually very rarely speechless it's repulsive i feel as though the last i mean the last guy that i was

having sex with consistently was uncircumcised consistently was uncircumcised has just always been uncircumcised the guy that i was hooking up with consistently consistently remained uncircumcised the guy that i was consistently hooking up with the syntax is important on this one yeah no he was he was uncircumcised the entire time we were hooking up but it was the last guy that i was hooking up with consistently and i feel like i got a full view of of the but now i'm wondering i wonder if all that smegma lived under i'm sure this like it's so confusing yeah i don't know it must have been attached to the smegma oh this is so disgusting not the smegma the foreskin the smegma must have been attached

to the foreskin the the biggest ick part of this story to me was when he said but then the smell hit me i know how did he not know how what and i feel bad for these poor i actually don't know what to say to this these poor women who probably had to deal with the smell anyways i wonder what it smelled like what do you think it smelled like i don't want to imagine that to be honest i puss stop stop okay um well gross men that listen um can you explain how this would happen first of all if you have foreskin please explain how maybe he would have missed this i i don't understand how far back foreskin goes i guess i guess i don't either like it

i i am serious i'm completely at a loss um yeah people with penises please please tell us please write in please let us know we have multiple questions not sure if i want the answer to any of them i just that is fucking gross yeah so as i was like looking at stuff on reddit i was like i became i was looking at am i the asshole and i became super thankful that i am not married because because so many of the am i the asshole posts are like um my mother-in-law is in love with my husband and but i'm exaggerating yeah he's like my mother-in-law is in love with my husband and um spit on me as i was walking down the aisle at our wedding am i the asshole for being upset oh god yeah and then like other ones are like um my husband doesn't do the bare minimum

to acknowledge my existence and is cheating on me am i the asshole for asking for respect like lord just like god i'm think so glad that i'm not married god that's why i'm gonna be so fucking careful oh no it was am i the asshole for demanding my mom pays for my fiance's wedding dress and the story was this mom tried on this man's fiance's wedding dress while like no one was home she had a spare key to their place what the fuck and invited herself in and put on his fiance's wedding dress and then he came home early from work and she was like wearing it and he was like what the fuck are you doing and then um she was like oh it's not a big deal and he he was like this is like her wedding dress like and he wasn't even supposed to see it exactly and then she

stretched it out and then like his wife didn't or fiance didn't even get the opportunity to like wear it for the first time like on their wedding day and she's like it just doesn't feel special anymore and then um he was like this was a two thousand dollar dress so fork over two thousand dollars so she can get a new one and because it's not special to her anymore and they're like she's like it's not my problem yes it is because she not only did she like ruin the special moment she ruined the dress by stretching it out what the fuck what that shouldn't even be contentious where all of the comments like uh no you're not the asshole yeah they're like fuck your mom change your keys like seriously and then like some of his family is threatening to not come to the

wedding and wedding because this is her side they're on the mom's side yes and like there so many like whenever i read things like this on am i the asshole it's like the the family is so toxic they're like you're being dramatic it's like no i am so afraid of marrying you don't family like that yeah like fuck that it's seriously you marry the family when you get married you're stuck with those people my mom has always told me that and it's always been something i've considered it's true to go to holidays with those people oh my god okay i'm excited for your list i'm don't know which one to start with well okay so i um um remember dog girl jenna yes what happened to her i loved her she's so fucking weird she's so fucking weird she is making a stupid amount

of money on only fans now i'm like yeah girl your puppy girl your puppy girl jenna bad bitch i but i want to know because i'm sure you've seen maybe some of the your puppy girl jenna videos yeah i probably sent them to you you did is it weirder if she has a dog or if she doesn't have a dog if she does why why do you think that because like it's maybe this is just of this is in my scope of knowledge of the situation where i don't have this kink but it feels sexual in nature and i feel as though if she has a dog i i wonder if she has this kink or if she is catering to people who have this kink so i watched this video which is what i'm about to get into of her explaining how she got into this

and she used to play house with her parents when she was growing up and she would always want to be the dog and she would like go outside and like dig holes in the mud and shit and then her parents like as she was getting older she like kept playing this role like when she was too old to be doing like make-believe still and her parents were like are you going to grow out of this and she was like no it makes me happy and so she had like a crate in her house for herself and like it's it feels like it didn't start out as sexual so for it to for her to start sexualizing it now is an interesting turn of events and I want to understand the psychology of that but and we can circle back on that this video that I'm imagining me using my time in therapy

to ask my therapist what she thinks about this I can't even imagine like being a therapist and having to just be like okay like keep a straight face during this story instead of just pure confusion yeah well okay so if i tap into um my inner therapy learnings if there was part of her childhood lacking our our like childhood trauma and childhood attachment trauma comes out in adulthood like this right so that's true i like it comes out when we are intimate with other people and you like cling on to parts of your childhood that brought you comfort like stuffed animals and stuff and also like I always wanted to be the dog when I was like which is probably no surprise when I was playing house like in preschool and that shit fell away really quick for me like

it didn't even follow me into kindergarten like that stopped in like preschool you know there's this man who had a youtube channel where he would go around and ask women if he could buy their underwear off of them for a hundred dollars the underwear that they were wearing and he would film this it was like street interviews on youtube on youtube turns out and the whole like shtick was that they were fake a hundred dollar bills so he was just like scamming women out of yep money that's disgusting this man now runs this like porn channel he has like a patreon home porn channel i don't really understand it he charges 22 a month and has 2 000 subscribers that pay that a month so this man is sustaining himself entirely from being this disgusting

personality him and puppy girl jenna are dating and he is her owner now yeah and they had this whole expose what was the there's a series on youtube called like love actually it's like like about loving each other's quirks and they had like a whole episode on these to my quirk is I want to be a puppy and his quirk is um he is disgusting and creepy yep and gives women fake hundred dollar bills and he they like it feels fake like when you're watching this interview it's like there's no fucking way this is real like they're just both such caricatures like and we obviously don't kink shame here but she like leans the fuck in you know she like it's a lot um and he is a lot in his own right so i don't know how much of it is real and how

much of it is like trumped up but they're together now and it's an interesting couple so i is he the guy that's in the background of her like old videos where he's like no get off the couch no no okay no like he found her like from those videos going viral and these two are fucking killing it on the internet yeah i just they were sustaining themselves entirely i don't support this man no she could do better yeah yeah he's disgusting but i just thought that that was an interesting little couple i wonder if it's also kind of like a dom sub dynamic it seems like it is but it seems he's very like i don't really i don't understand it i don't i don't know if it extends into the bedroom like this this puppy personality

that would be very interesting if they were like if she had this like kind of like sexual puppy thing happening but then in the bedroom they just had vanilla sex right i don't it'd be so it's hard to imagine but who knows if it extended into the bedroom i would like to know how that unfolded like how she realized that's what she wanted yeah if she was like tell me uh being called a good girl hits different that's true so that is true yeah it does doesn't it that's so true um so it could have been like that or if she was like tell me i'm a bad dog oh my god tell me i'm a bad dog tell me i can't be on the bed bad dog oh oh yeah he feels like a fake dom to me and he probably is in his um i'm gonna show you a picture of this guy

just so we can get a face to the name your puppy girl jenna boyfriend what's this fucking asshole's name i like made a point not to internalize his name okay his name's lorenzo this is this clown he's the one that was going around asking women for underwear and giving their underwear for a hundred dollars counterfeit money that's really really fucked up he looks like a sloth yeah he does he sucks but he's making like 44 000 a month just from patreon a month um these comments are really funny uh going to the greatest lengths possible to promote your only fans

and then this one love a business woman this one said people look at us weird when you bring your fetish outside well yeah and i think that's something that like needs to be talked about like sure have your fetish yeah but like fetishes are so intertwined with consent and that includes the general public like you not like the general public is not consenting to be part of your fucking kink yeah yeah and that's rude how do you feel about people because i've seen go to a party go to a party where your fetish is accepted but like don't don't bring this to other people i've seen a lot of people on tinder promoting their fetishes what the real dog was like my culture is not your goddamn

oh my god oh so they must have a dog that dog must be in the video yeah poor guy he must be so confused in the future we'll have flying cars what we have in the future human dogs people call us crazy well when my child asks why an adult man is walking an adult woman on a leash i'm going to have to say she's crazy yeah actually if these two are in the bdsm community how do they not know one of the major rules of consent they are deliberately walking out of their house into public where people are and they do not consent to this scene absolutely no respect or regard for other human beings at all damn i mean that's exactly what you're saying yeah it's a huge part

of bdsm and i'm not even like very involved in bdsm but like when i got my introduction to it um i like the biggest thing that i learned of it was it's exclusively about consent right so then what do you think about when people are like open about their their kinks like on tinder and they like post pictures of their items for example do you think that that is shoving in in people's face or do you think like what kind of items like handcuffs and whips and stuff and be like your bdsm daddy is their name there's a lot of that what the fuck yeah i think it is different i think it would be so much different if you were a submissive like if you were into pet play like jenna and you're like um being explicit about that in a way

like if you're just like yeah i am into pet play i think that's fine because you want to be with someone who is accepting of that yeah whereas i think now we see so many people who are fake doms on dating apps and they're like because they're just using it as an excuse to be abusive to women oh my god that's so fucked up welcome to redux a podcast about music by a music lover for music lovers i'm van berryman math teacher by trade podcaster by hobby former radio host and production coordinator and avid music lover step into redux for deep looks into album reviews with a concise but thorough comparison of an artist's first album to their most recent and their journey to get there

plus top 10 lists best ofs and other musical inputs to get you through the day if you like what you hear drop a follow on instagram at redux podcast and feel free to let me know there what reviews you want to hear come along on this journey with me sit back and enjoy the ride you sent me something um of your own red flags yeah is that you that was me we should talk about that okay do you want to yeah so I sent Amelia something of like we talk about we talk about people's other people's red flags like men's red flags when we've like talked to them but like what are some of our own red flags yeah I actually think about it frequently um you really do yes I'm too self-aware it's like my it's my downfall maybe you're just too self-judgmental maybe I

think I'm pretty great yeah me too but I do I think you're pretty great and I think I'm pretty I think you're pretty great so so there's 100% of the people in this room are great but we also have our own red flags what do you think would be your red flags for you then my number one that I want to just get on the table it feels like one of those interview answers like what's your what's your greatest weakness like I'm just too good at my job I make everyone else look bad but I really I'm too I'm too independent and I think that it scares and not independent on like I am independent in like a like I'm an independent woman kind of way but like I'm I'm independent in the like you would could just not hear from me for 48 hours and that's not cute but like I just

don't feel the need to be talking all the time and as a red flag from the outside like that that feels like a solid red flag um but it's just how I am right now and that's how I know I'm not supposed to be in a relationship I am so unreliable I'll be reliable with my friends is that how you were in a relationship toward the end of it yeah I was pretty checked out toward the end of it talk to you in three days bye yeah I mean I would forget to text him for like eight hours it was the source of like all of our fights because we were long distance yeah I was not all we had was our phone I mean long distance it doesn't feel like that big of a deal like I mean sorry I'm getting comfortable you're fine I'm adjusting for the 90th time okay I think this might be it it's gonna be

I'm worried I look dynamic videos though which is good I'm worried I look I'll look sloppy on camera I'm like I've already given up I'm trying to look together you look cute always so you love you so much I love you um hold on slightly closer I feel like I'm straining my neck and like I think it's just because my neck hurts but I can't figure out a way to you don't look strained okay that's good yeah I just have like a kink in my neck um fuck what were we saying red flags um not texting back for a few days oh I mean I don't I don't know when you're long distance like you're you're doing other stuff you know yeah you can't spend all your time attached to your phone talking about every single thing you do every part of the day right and that was something that I had

to tell the comedian one because he was the first person that I started seeing consistently out of my relationship and I warned him like I'm not big on my phone and it still pissed him off like he was like totally understand me neither but for whatever reason I like brought it out of him that he wanted to be talking all of the time so that was um a red flag for sure I think another one of my red flags um and I've actually heard this from a few guys is that I come off as like too much of a bro on dates like I I get too comfortable too fast and I've noticed that I like overcompensate for them feeling uncomfortable by me being way too comfortable like I'll like put my feet up on the chair and be like yo what's up like tell me about your like what how's dating been and it's

like not cute but I do that because I'm uncomfortable because they're uncomfortable so I'm like let's be friends and like get comfortable but I think that that might be one of the reasons that I don't ever get kissed on first dates that does not make any sense to me you don't think that that would be a red flag somebody being like too bro-y on a date no like if someone was too like okay so what would the opposite of that be you know like if a man was to like hey girl I'd love that tell me about your day I'm gonna marry this one just like in touch with their feelings or something um go right to the altar I I don't think there's anything with like becoming comfortable because I I've also experienced that where you feel like you have to

be the one guiding a conversation to being comfortable and like and that's because you're like okay like both of us are uncomfortable but I could talk to a brick wall if I had to so yeah yeah yeah I'm just gonna pull that out yeah and I mean like maybe part of that is like having done sorority recruitment for four years but I like I could talk to anybody yeah about anything yeah and like if one of my friends has to go off and talk to some guy that she likes and i have to like talk to his boring ass friend i'll do it i'll talk to anyone yeah and you are really good at talking to people thank you yeah but um i i understand that so like but i can't see how that would be a problem i mean like me neither it's one of those things that like i feel like

is a strength of mine that I can just like I could I'll just be up I'm fine with talking about anything but when guys are like I feel like me being able to hold a conversation when somebody is giving me nothing to work with is something that I feel really comfortable doing and like the alternative is me not talking at all and then everyone's bored and then everyone's feeling awkward why do you have to but yeah if you have the gift of gab use it right but it does I've been told and that's why we have a podcast you want to know anything about me we just talk for an hour every week um i was sick of people not voluntarily listening to me so oh my god that's started a podcast so now when they listen they have to listen to everything i have to say

you guys are forced you're stuck yeah i know i love it thanks for wanting to listen to us but yeah I like I don't know that I think that that contributes to men not kissing me because it seems like I'm not interested when I'm just like a sloppy bitch on the first date which is fine whatever I don't care it's the true me like if they don't like it then then there should be no second date because that's how I am what are your red flags um I had started thinking of them and I feel like they escaped my brain I feel like the amount of dishes I always have that I need to do is a pretty big red flag um i have so many dishes constantly and uh the fact that we have a podcast where we talk about our sex i was gonna bring that up yep is i'm sure would be a red flag

to plenty of men yeah but um i also think like the flip side of that is like we've talked about this before it's a good filter to have I don't want to be with someone who can't support me while like doing this yeah yeah and I obviously don't mean financially support me no emotionally yeah if you could like support me my creativity and passion for this and then I don't want to be with you if you can't do that right it's been such an interesting look at doing something that you're passionate about and knowing that it's it's going to be a deal breaker for you if somebody can't be okay with it like that's a really interesting thing to have because up until now and you're like well would I want to be with someone who wouldn't be okay with this no exactly like there's

or is ashamed of the things I think and care about right I mean they're getting a crash course in our brain yeah they could really just tune in and get a crash course anytime they want but I do think the alternative also is like it would I can understand it making someone feel insecure having to listen to us talk about our past relationships for sure I went on a first date recently and he brought up the podcast and I asked if he listened he said yeah I listened to one episode he listened to um your 20s are a scam and he was like it's really good I really liked it but I decided to stop listening because I would rather learn some things from you yourself yeah like that's totally fair it's different to listen through the lens of somebody that wants to date

you yeah exactly and um I hadn't thought about that until recently which feels so fucking stupid to say because I've started dating my boyfriend for like pretty early on of this podcast yeah and um one of our friends asked like oh well how does your boyfriend feel about you talking about past relationships on this podcast and I was like I feel like such a dumbass that I haven't really thought of that and I had thought of it like right as I was editing too because I texted you I was like I think I might take this out because I don't know how I would feel if like I were in my boyfriend's position yeah and you're like have you like did you just start thinking about yeah I did well and because he is so like level-headed and fair and like he can compartmentalize

things in a way that I can't and I'm not good at um so I asked him this weekend I was like oh yeah I was like how do you feel about it like someone asked me and I was like you know I haven't really asked him and then um he was like I mean it it doesn't bother me at all because like it would be it would be ridiculous if I tried to pretend like you hadn't dated anyone before we met and I was like yeah I totally agree but like I was trying to think of how I would feel in your position if you were doing the same thing and then he was like remember when we started dating and you told me you weren't a jealous person I was like I'm not I'm not jealous I am not a jealous person but I have been in enough relationships to feel like um I can't always

trust my partner so it would it's more so I was like I wouldn't be jealous of these other people you've dated but I would feel insecure because I would end up comparing myself to them and I think that's like normal yeah totally and then he's like well I don't feel insecure I was like you just how are you so great yeah that's I mean I was just about to say like you not really thinking about it until somebody asked you is a testament to your relationship because when you were dating before that was at the forefront of like you know like how are they going to feel about this we talked about this a lot when we first started doing this I think my initial concern was they would not be okay with me talking about my current sex and dating life with them so that was more of my

concern it I it hadn't crossed my mind like oh how are they going to feel about me talking about past partners yeah I guess that's true but also at the same time like it's it's such a compliment to your boyfriend too to not have to really think about it until now because you have a very open and honest relationship and I truly believe he would have said something if it bugged him absolutely and he didn't and so you didn't really have to that didn't need to occupy any of your space I mean I was gonna say this was one of my red flags too because like really trying to convince a guy that you're dating that like you don't you aren't going to air out all of this shit on your podcast it's tough um people need to I don't know whoever is like trying to date you

um they need to be able to be a very objective kind of person yeah they need to be empathetic and they need to be really objective yeah and they need to have some self-control of like okay well i realized that i don't like hearing you talk about your past experiences with people even though i know that that exists i don't want to hear the details of it so i'm going to choose to not listen so they would have to actively make that choice and commit to it and not be jealous they and then there's also those people who are like i hate when people are like you're gonna to talk about me on the podcast it's like no and uh it's because you just fucking asked me that and you can tell if they're trying to be like interesting enough to be talked about yeah um

that's seriously truly the most annoying thing when like there's a guy that i've been talking to from a dating app for a while i'm probably never going to meet him he's the biggest pain in the ass but he makes me laugh and he is always like yeah well when we meet you're gonna have to signed an NDA oh I'm like you are not going to be that important in my life that like you think that you're going to be occupying this airspace yeah like chill it's really obnoxious it's like so obnoxious clearly you don't understand the point of this podcast yeah I think that people look at understand you as a person they don't understand the point of the podcast I think people look at our counterparts podcasts that are doing similar work to us that have a completely

different objective yeah and i can understand that but once you listen to this we're not shitting on guys unless they're like very shitty yeah if they've done something to be shitted on then don't be shitty and you won't get talked about simple math i don't know our podcast has also changed a lot it really has i wanted to revisit some of your thoughts on dating apps because i was talking to my boyfriend's roommate and one of his friends and his friend was like uh just kind of like worn out on dating apps and we have all fucking been there um but I was like okay like you I think he's like a handsome guy he's a good looking guy and he's likable and fun and like you know just like a a cool dude there's a like he's funny

and i was like i i just i also was going through my head i was like how do i know so many like fucking cool people who are single like uh and the more i thought about the this is gonna now i'm getting into like some weird territory the more i thought about the women i know who are single they are single by choice and they get snatched up really quickly and maybe they don't see that because it feels like work when you're trying to get to know someone to date yeah before you start dating it's like you're like god I just can't believe I have to put in this fucking work again but I have noticed that the girls I know who are still single are like they have more discretion about who they want to pursue a relationship with whereas like the men I know

who are single they go on all these dates and then they just like continue to not go well and it's just been interesting for me to observe and compare to my own experiences and back to the original train of thought my boyfriend's friend was like telling us about some of the dates he was going on and he was like i just you know there's like no one i'm excited to see again and then he had said um he gets like choice fatigue because he's like you can just see one thing that you don't like and just swipe left yeah and because there's a million other options and that also kind of puts you in a bubble of like in real life if you met some of these people you'd probably have a really good connection and I compared that to my own experience because I met

my boyfriend on hinge and like his that I was at a point where I was like I do not want to be in a relationship I want to date around and have a good time and focus on myself because I don't want to sacrifice anything I was just in a very like um self-focused place but I still was like looking to date and have fun and meet new people and when I saw his profile like I definitely was excited because I thought he was really cute and I thought he seemed kind of like moody and interesting and i was like i think normally maybe i would have not responded or been as interested um if i was like serious about finding a relationship oh so when i interesting when i did respond to him i like hit him with a funny pickup line because i i've noticed that i've had

the best luck when i've reached out to the guy okay like when i think about my past experiences like if they reach out to me first I'm not like usually the conversation ends up not being interesting but if I start the conversation it usually goes better that's interesting but it makes sense I think you're pursuing something I hit him with a pickup line and then he didn't respond he it was like um so-and-so invited you to start the chat and I was like damn what the fuck that was a good line and then I was like so what do you think this is a good pickup line and then he didn't answer and then I like I remember I was just like excited because I wanted him to reply I wanted to see what this guy was about and then there's like some stuff

on his profile that made me think like maybe he's kind of a fuck boy yeah so that's why I was like oh he just seems like a good time and then um and then I was like finally two days later after he didn't respond i was like hey i'm not trying to like get into a relationship um and if that's okay with you here's my number like i'm not i said i'm not looking for anything serious and that if that's something you're down for like here's my phone number if you want to hit me up fuck yeah and then he messaged me back right away and he was like hey thanks for being like um proactive that definitely sounds good to me and then he texted me right away and I was like damn uh-huh that bitch took control and then I was like yes I got him to respond and then um just if I hadn't

been in that exploratory place and been more open-minded I wouldn't have met him yeah he is hands down the best partner I've ever had yeah he's really great you guys are really great he's a great guy and I just wouldn't like if I had been kind of experiencing that choice fatigue and been like I don't like this one thing left swipe yeah then I wouldn't have met him and it just made me curious like what do you think like I feel like you know your brand on TikTok has a lot to do with dating apps yeah yeah I mean so I've started reviewing people's profiles people are paying me to review their profiles which has been fun and that's the number one thing that I say is somebody can find one thing that turns them off and if the rest of your profile is great it doesn't matter

and that sucks but that's just the nature of it because it's so automatic people are like our brains judge so quickly it's like involuntary we it's not like we're like making the decision like well this one thing is wrong so this app is also asked like every dating app is asking you to do that yeah essentially yes because that's the that's the issue with trying to get people to paint a full picture of themselves it opens up the possibility of people being scared away by a stupid answer or like a picture that's not flattering so it's it's a double-edged sword in that sense I think your experience is interesting because finding something it's like one of those situations we talked about this a lot in the beginning of the podcast like

you find what you're looking for like when you when you least expect it you know and it's cliche but it's cliche for a reason because that's true when you don't put a whole lot of pressure on something good things happen yeah and i think when i've been swiping i haven't been looking for a relationship but like i met music man when i was like not looking for anything and that's obviously not turned into anything but that's another instance of just like i just kind of casually expecting to like him that much right and i just like got to know him just because because I just wanted to know who he was not from like a romantic standpoint so I think choice fatigue is real but then the other side of that is like once you get choice fatigue for so long

and you go through so many profiles you start to feel hopeless about it and then you start to get really you start to see past red flags and that's something that I hear a lot in my comments on my videos of like you've made me look at these profiles more critically because people are just like seeing through very obvious red flags because it is so grim out there like there are so many bad profiles that like if somebody's not like confessing to a murder on their profile then they're like worthy of a date you know what I mean yeah so I think that the dating apps need a complete like I don't like a make-up I don't even know what it would look like people keep asking me like what would your perfect dating app look like i don't know i do have to say hinge did like the most

compatible thing for me and my boyfriend now yeah and i mean that's an interesting thing compatible that's cute and then i looked at his profile and i was like you're right he a qb there's some stuff about this profile that i'm like maybe he's a fuck boy but and i've told him that and he's like all boys are fuck boys a little bit and i was like you're not wrong it's a spectrum the fuck boy spectrum the fuck boy spectrum true true true um yeah i hinge is kind of doing this fucked up thing now you were you i'm an old girl tell me i know i'm like you were you on when they introduced roses no okay so they have roses now where they hide you get one rose a week and then every day they show you it must be eight standouts of people who have gotten a lot of likes on certain pictures

or certain answers and you get to choose which one of them deserves a rose and you they refresh your rose every sunday you can buy more roses but what's fucked up about it is they're taking the most compatible and hiding it behind this paywall so in order to like people better yeah so i have been seeing a lot of really great so they're focused more on making money than like and they have to because helping people tinder's the same tinder does standouts now um god i'm paying for tinder now fun fact for research a lot of people have been asking me if paying for tinder is worth it and i'm like well i'm making enough money to cover the cost of this fat fuck hi um to cover the cost of my monthly subscription so i'm just paying for tinder for a month to check it out and

it's honestly pretty great you get to see everybody that's like to oh and then you get to get as many standouts as you want but um i will not be paying for tinder for much longer because it's fucking tinder but um yeah it's pretty fucked up that it's all about money now i had a dating app reach out to me to work with them i didn't see it in time they ended up going in another direction but um it was brand new and it's all about phone conversations you have voice conversations I hate that so so do I so I probably wouldn't have worked with them but it's an interesting thought because like so much is lost in tone yeah um true so that was interesting so I feel like people are trying to combat this issue I'm just like getting sad thinking about like I never

might I might have never met my boyfriend because he would have been behind a paywall mm-hmm it's pretty fucked yeah pretty fucked hey hinge that's fucked i keep trying to get a hinge deal um i think i've talked too much shit about them so i'm giving up on it now but still haven't been approved by raya but it is what it is i'm gonna plug this um tiktok doctor i don't know his name but he does this thing that's um doctor doctor that's pretty good but he does this thing called cap or no cap and he when people you know like people give like medical advice tiktoks he'll duet them and he'll put on a cap when what they're saying is fake and he'll say no cap at the top if it's the truth somebody asked him if this was true

and it is and he the fact was that menstrual cramps are as painful as heart attacks i thought that that was a very interesting stat i don't know what a heart attack feels like obviously i would assume you move your cramps up to your heart yeah fuck it's uncomfy that would be so uncomfy but like the fact that you think it would just be uncomfortable and not like life-threatening says a lot to how we've had to learn to cope with cramps i saw a video of this guy um trying a cramp like one of those little like i brought those videos simulators and he was like okay i'm gonna like try and like cook a meal while i have yes i talked about that last week oh okay yes and then and the comments were like okay and now pretend try and pretend like nothing's

wrong did he do it yeah because you talked about it and then it came up on my for you page like i think the next day it's because tiktok's listening daddy tiktok i'm not mad about it god but the idea that it's as painful as a heart attack and would i say anything if i was having a heart would i would i ignore it i wonder how often heart attack symptoms i have read that a lot of the times when women go in because they think they're having a heart attack um doctors treat them like they're just being dramatic what they're like oh it's just so bad that makes me so legitimately a heart attack that's your sex fact of the week sex fact of the week yeah um carry around bay or aspirin with you it can save your life if you're having a heart attack oh oh interesting thank you for

listening we're on tiktok now yeah at the holy hour on tiktok very exciting good to see what we look like when we're talking shit pretty cool yeah in this episode specifically you'll get to see us sit in several different positions this is when i feel the oldest is when i can't get comfortable with my neck my neck and my back my pussy and my crack i feel like that okay anyway um holy hour podcast at gmail.com at the holy hour on literally every social platform now which is pretty exciting um slide into our dms tell us if you wash your penis correctly if you're uncircumcised oh yeah yeah i forgot about that that was so long ago i know it was we've been recording for a long time okay okay love you we love you bye