The Hoely Hour - E44 Hot Tea for Hotties

Episode Date: June 18, 2021

The tea is hot, Liz's apartment is hot, you're hot... it's a hot episode. Liz threatens cruel and unusual punishment to anyone who breaks Amelia's heart. Amelia caught her ex cheating on his new girl in 4k, then the girls recap a full detective mystery of a stranger sending Amelia unsolicited d*ck pics and how they discovered his identity. Plus, an angel listener shares helpful information about endometriosis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

there was one time where they were crying when they were performing it live what yeah oh fucking joe jonas oh mm-hmm at jj i used to model my life off of demi lovato i got bangs when demi got bangs i cut my hair the same length as demi dyed my hair the same color as demi bangs are hard to pull off it was awful and i made my mom promise that she would never let me do it again my here i am with bangs the hairstyle i copied was um ashley simpson's hair it did not look good on me i had a mullet for oh no was it like the short layers in the front uh-huh and my hair is really thin it's so dramatic nobody needs a car that loud no

welcome to the holy hour i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball and it is hotter than hell today yeah it i mean that's very fitting that's true for us and our brand but we've earned it it is painfully hot it's painfully hot it's made me really agitated um i got all wound up fighting people in amelia's comments as per you you might hear some outside sounds like crows or someone blasting by on their speed racer car it's because we have to have the windows the windows it's really i've had no relief all day liz lives on the top floor so all the heat rises i didn't plan ahead when i was like i'm gonna pick this corner apartment with giant windows but like we only really have very hot we only have like a few of these so it's worth it for

the rest of the year yeah and like it's true for whatever reason they don't put air conditioning in any apartment or house in Washington for what they're like you don't need it they've said that and I've needed it freezing fucking cold right and my air conditioning broke right when it started getting hot and I have been an actual nightmare I can't sleep when it's hot fans just blow a bunch of hot air around a room even if you have the window open that's what that was doing I almost bought one of those have you seen those Dyson fans that are the circle ones yes yeah they're like 600 stupid expensive but they like somehow create like an arctic tundra in your room what so worth it yeah it does feel worth it feels worth it i might invest i might too maybe we could write

it off on our taxes it'll make us more efficient because it'll be cool yeah yeah we could and by then we'll be writing this off on our taxes yeah hashtag adult shit hashtag successful adult shit yeah yeah you know tax doing doing taxes writing off business expenses yeah yeah i feel like david and schitt's creek you write it off yeah he's like who's gonna pay for it no one you write it off that's not how taxes work well i don't know i like at the end when they're like we can't leave the kids and then um uh moira's like john our kids are practically middle-aged it's like yep yep i identify um i have been hanging out with a boy a lot that's right i'm excited to hear he doesn't even have a nickname yet um i think i think i will recommend a nickname because so our

kinky katie guest group texted us that uh she had a dream the three of us were roommates and one of the guys had nickname was nicknamed gray guy gray guy so maybe we could do that's phenomenal i feel like a more boring feller should have gray guy true i'm feeling like i'm sure we'll meet one i'm 100 certain i'm gonna date a gray guy um i'm gonna call this one sprints sprints i've been joking around with him that i'm going to make that nickname stick I don't remember how it came up does he run yes what if he was squints and you were wendy peppercorn I love this he's squints he does have his eyes do get really small when he smiles he has a really big smile cute squints okay so his name's squints love it he's about three feet

taller than squints but it'd be like that do you feel like that it would be concerning if he was the same size as squints because then you he might be a child and we don't support that no we don't yeah let the record show we do not support dating children unless you yourself are a child not if you identify as a child if you are a child right if you're literally a child right yeah under 18 yeah i identify as a child would not be would not be um appropriate yeah my i'm so hot right now I couldn't remember the word appropriate my brain is working so slow I'm so hot that I just feel like that bit was really weird it was a little weird it was a weird bit anyway so I've been so I've been hanging out with all right it's strict that cut cut that bit

oh my god um he is the one that I knew from college that I was talking about like three episodes ago two episodes ago um and we went out once he was really fun and I had a lot of fun with him and then you said I think I don't I know you told me this but I can't remember if you said it on the pod he was like kind of nervous yeah I mean I think we it's weird because when I'm nervous I like overcompensate by being like too chill I was saying that as one of my red flags I like kind of bro out I mean yeah man who you fucking tell me about yeah who's yeah tell me about your fucking tell me about all the hoes you've been with man you like any of them or you smash love have you smashed uh nice yeah chest bump him in the restaurant did you connect emotionally

hell yeah hell yeah brother hell yeah brother anyways let's shoot some rain dogs with the boys vitamin r this is another spot this episode is sponsored by rainier one day rainier is gonna sponsor us and it's gonna be so off-brand they're gonna begrudgingly sponsor us yeah they're like they're already talking about us we might as well throw them like a pet like a case of beer that would count as a sponsorship right here if you want to send us a case of beer or seltzes they have the rainier seltzes rainier makes seltzers yeah we should try them rain dog seltzers you're better at the barking i'm gonna leave that to you so anyway been hanging out with

squints we've hung out like three times since the first date I just want to be around him all the time I want to ask do you think that he was nervous because he's nervous you have a podcast he's nervous you are a successful content creator on tiktok like I think that I misread the situation like he might have been nervous I think he was nervous in a way that everybody is nervous for first dates true yeah that's fair but since I've hung out with him a few more times his his energy is just up like he's like me in that sense he kind of vibrates at a high frequency I'm not used to that from guys so I think I was reading that as nerves but the like I've hung out with him since then and we've gotten so much more comfortable with each other and he still vibrates at that

frequency so I think he's just that energetic um he is one of the nicest people I've ever met he's so fun to be around we just like we'll talk solid for seven hours and like Amelia's got a crush I do I don't like it you I can I feel like you really like this guy I do I don't like it at all I know what you mean I'm excited for you thanks I'll be here for when the excitement makes you spiral I'm like spiraling about being excited about it like yeah I've been there that's why I said I'd be here for you yeah you're like no you were there for me when I was freaking the fuck out I don't want to like somebody I really didn't think that I would I mean he's hot and like very nice but like I've dated a lot of hot very nice guys but like I just genuinely enjoy

being around like I want to be around him all the time and it's like he's got that I broke my no sleepover rule yeah this is a big deal I know that was my first sleepover since like in like over a year and you stayed at his place yeah he was house sitting yeah so we stayed at the house that he was house sitting at and we had sex and nice i fell asleep whose bed was it do you know it's like a spare house that they have it's some rich family so it was like nobody's bed it was like the whole house is a guest house okay i love that it has a view of the water it has a pool it's like six bedrooms i know it's freaking beautiful um when amelia hung out with squints my she had dropped off my boyfriend and i at my place from a barbecue uh because we're

all vaccinated now so we could do that baby also anecdote loved seeing your boyfriend such a big fan of his but i say that every episode i just had to get my quote in he was so happy to be there too yeah he was like i'm really glad i came everyone is so chill and i really liked meeting them so he was really happy to like hang out with people and see who my friends are he's like i don't know if i'm ready because he had been skiing all day so he's just like exhausted he got there before i did i was like what the fuck are you doing here yeah and we had stayed up late like talking and shit the night before so yeah i like we both were pretty like tired you guys were killing it i couldn't tell that either of you were tired oh i by the time we left i was like on my last limb

i was like oh i might fall asleep damn leave soon it was one of those things where you're like i either need to get drunk or i need to like go chill out at home and i could not get drunk i was like yeah i'm too exhausted i was kind of relieved when you said you wanted to go to i was like yeah i'm not gonna be a party pooper i was fucking dead tired yeah it was i wanted to stay longer but i was not gonna last he's gonna be in the video it's gonna be so cute what are you doing you know he just needed a moment um but i'm excited for you thanks you were saying um dropped you off when i was going to hang out after you dropped us off um i drove his car to molly moons oh like near where you guys were and he was like we should go by and see if they want

to come with us okay he's joking but wait but like we would have I was like yeah we could crash their date let's make it awkward he would have loved that he's the kind of person that I would be okay with bringing around friends which is another rarity the only other person I've dated that's been like that is music man and that obviously isn't gonna happen anytime soon have you talked to him at all no I'm not gonna talk to him until he talks to me but yeah I went over there we watched hereditary and the house is 100 haunted like when I first saw the house I was like this house is haunted I didn't get a bad vibe but it's haunted so um he's just like really thoughtful he just does really thoughtful things that are like stupid and small but they matter to

me because I'm like an acts of service person like when we went to go to sleep he found an extra phone charger and just like plugged it in next to my side of the bed and plugged my phone in like didn't even say anything he was just like talking to me doing it I'm like oh it's just shit like that that's like that's how you know it's like natural oh my god and like he so we had sex and then he came and then he made me he took care of me after without even asking he just did it I was like oh my god king shit and I said that to him I was like that was like really great and he was like yeah like it wouldn't be fair for me to come and you to not come like he was like confused why it was I love this and I feel like our listeners know this but this is always a good opportunity

to explain something like this like so often sex is like a one-sided experience like too often I feel like we feel that way like in our early 20s a lot just like sexual experiences aren't as fun because your partner doesn't give a shit about how you feel yep um so this is clearly like a shared experience and that's normal for him and that's how you know like he I don't know I don't even know how to explain it yeah no I mean like it it makes me feel like an like a an equal participant a lot of the time I'll hook up with someone and um like I feel like a vessel yes and it's always bugged me but it especially bugs me now that I'm like getting older and trying to date more intentionally it's really starting to bug me well it's also shocking that people still

behave that way yeah I think that's why it's also really frustrating because you're like okay you're like doing like woke guy drag by like pretending you fucking care about other human rights but then when it comes to having sex like you're still treating me like a vessel like an object so like when you do get to have an experience with another person where like sex is not transactional it just like feels so good yes absolutely and I was so relieved because he really is very woke like speaking of woke guy drag like he's he's very liberal and he says all of the right things so for the sex to be so equal and like respectful i was like thank god because i've been with a lot of guys grapes was one of these that like would virtue signal all over the place and

talk about how great of an ally he is and da da da and then just like not really show up in places that i would hope that he would yeah squints is just so thoughtful and caring and he pays attention to like everything you know he remembers shit that i've said so i got i got promoted at work and finally fucking hell and I told him I texted him and I went over there that night and he had remembered that I ordered a dirty martini at the bar on our first date so he bought like all this really nice dirty martini stuff but like Belvedere vodka and he was like well we have to celebrate I know and it doesn't feel he bought my merch without telling me I just got the notification for it oh my god what merch did he buy he bought one of the really my guy sweatshirts

i know liz there's he's i'm so excited i okay and i like don't want to like tout my gut instinct too much it's always right but like i will i will say like this when because you didn't tell me a lot about him yeah when you first told me about him but i did have like an like a more excited feeling for you yeah like i'm always excited for you when you seem like happy you're talking to someone yeah but um I also think maybe it's just the way you talk about them that makes me like be able to tell that something is different if I feel you're so you're right like I feel so much more combination of both I feel very at peace about the whole thing like besides being a little freaked out that I like somebody like I feel very like

i don't know relaxed um i believe this is a like um buddhism belief that um like how you feel when you're in love shouldn't be excitement or like not to say that you're in love with this guy no right yeah um how you feel when you how you should feel when you are with the right person is not like excited and like you know your synapses like going off constantly but you should feel at peace yeah you're with right the right people yeah when you feel peaceful yes and if you think about it like it makes a lot of sense because other people like love the roller coaster and they can't really tell that they love the roller coaster yeah but it's because the high can feel really rewarding compared to like that low low yeah of having you know love treated like

a reward yes instead of just like unconditional and consistent absolutely yes and like there's also a piece of it that we have mutual friends and so like I don't have to like I know that he's actually a good guy like he has a ton of friends like nobody has ever said anything bad about him he's really close to his family his sister is his best friend like he's just like I keep trying to find red flags because that's like the protective anxiety side of me of like okay what can we find that's wrong with this and like i can't find it there's going to be things i mean you have to look out for yourself so it's just natural especially like dating sucks it's hard fucking blows some tea about squints he dated my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend oh yeah i can't

believe i was like i'm like oh what is this tea we haven't really discussed it since i found out tea is piping fucking hot so hot if like i don't expect all of our listeners to listen in order like maybe this is your first episode but um if you also found amelia from tiktok the way that her first tiktok kind of blew up and like gained a lot of traction is because she was talking about um her breakup with her ex of eight years and i'm telling your story please do no it's honestly it's probably better that you kick it off and I mean like we were recording when this happened like so they broke up kind of had this like on and off again Amelia's trying to distance herself experience dating new people for the first time in her adult life and he kind of like

ghosted you um and the week before you guys agreed to meet up and you hooked up you had sex he made the move yeah and then he was saying like I love you and alluding to like wanting to be back together and that's kind of what you had been holding on to the hope for yeah um and you know we all hate admitting that but yeah and I could admit it now when someone doesn't let you go and keeps like pulling you back in anytime you start to like have some semblance of like sense of self and confidence like it's just natural because that person's familiar and they can see that you're doing well without them and they don't want that so you know this was this was the big one though like you know having sex with you and saying i love you and like talking

about a future together like alluding to getting back together and then we're recording we had shoot and amelia's like he blocked me i don't know what the fuck's going on i tried calling him and then like end of recording uh she opens her email and she got an email from him and it was like don't contact me don't contact her she never has contacted like this girl that he started seeing not once and I would never and he knows that he knows that's not in my nature so that triggered me more also like having been in the same circumstances you you're not thinking about that girl you're like okay this is she's just there yeah like yeah you're just projecting whatever fucking problems we had on to someone new congratulations yeah and yeah you're not

really thinking about that because you're like okay she didn't do anything right she's not the one who is in charge of his behavior he is anyways amen this email was just like out of nowhere so cruel and very final yeah it was like do not contact either of us like i need to move on with my life and so do you was basically after yeah i've been stringing i've thought about where my heart is and it's not and it is and it's not with you i was like jesus fucking christ you don't need to be an ass about it also like after he ghosted you what the fuck is that and it was after he ghosted me after i saw a picture of of him and his new girlfriend together yeah and you're like what the hell's going on right so fast forward amelia's on a date with squints and then they're

having just you know the conversations you have when you start dating someone yeah um or you know just casual conversation about like when you pass relationships like blah blah yeah and he says do you want to tell the rest of this story yeah i'll take it over thank you for that recap i can't recap it in like a succinct way there's so much so many feelings involved holy fuck so he brings up that he was dating this girl who lives in the same city that my ex-boyfriend lives in and it was like short-lived and y'all I'm not from Seattle and like no one fucking lives there yeah no anyways no and I was trying to be really nice about it I was like when I was talking to squints about it yeah I was like oh it's really pretty he's like okay so he was like yeah I went over there once

um her parents got me really drunk it was really embarrassing and then like that was kind of it we just like ended it kind of shortly after that and I was like oh well it must be really hard to date someone that's there my ex-boyfriend lives there and he was like why and I told him his work my ex's work history and he was like hold on what's his name and I told him his name and he was like oh yeah his his girlfriend was who I was dating and they and she ended it with me because she had an opportunity to be with him I asked the time frame I love the way that you explain that it sounds like she like ended things with him because she got like a job offer yeah I have this opportunity I have this opportunity I've been waiting for

it's my dream relationship even though the past history isn't very great oh my god there are no raving reviews but I think I can change it they don't look very good on Yelp um the glass door isn't great the company culture sounds bad but you can't believe everything you read anyways it starts at minimum wage but i have a lot of hope you get paid in exposure they don't even they don't even pay you money you get paid in girlfriend exposure yeah maybe one day if you work hard enough they'll promote you to fiance oh dear god yeah but you have to sleep with the boss

anyways that was a fun little joke oh my god but so they put these time frames together and so i asked what the time frame was and he said oh it was like may june we like ended it in june my ex slid back into my dms in june and was we hooked up in september so when this was all going down and he ended it with me over email liz little gut instinct fairy was like i bet that he cheated on her with you and i was like i don't know but of course he did because he cheated on me a bunch so like it was you know wouldn't be like out of character it's very on brand for him like the more i learn about this the more we learn about this situation unfolding it is almost exactly like mine and yes i'm like maybe it's cosmic or maybe like guys just do the same

fucking thing yeah maybe this behavior is just how they operate it's fucking gross i just don't know how you can i cheated and i feel bad and i don't want to get caught because i know i'm never gonna tell the truth so i'm just going to work very hard to remove you from the equation and then he gets to control the narrative with her yeah and he doesn't have to be responsible for his own actions he can just paint you as the crazy ex well that's the thing i sent him like a five-page letter through the mail basically being like i have to stop this i did i tell you bought this letter I was really proud of it it took me like a month to write I like rewrote and rewrote I probably didn't tell you because I didn't really tell anybody I told I remember

when you finally told me that you guys had been talking yeah because things were going south that was so bad I was so alone and all that because I didn't want to tell anyone that I was talking to him again yeah and when you because when you tell someone like this is how this guy treated me and you are talking to them you know that's probably not what's best for your heart but like only you can make decisions for you right you know right i wouldn't have been stoked but i still would have like been there yeah but i mean also you ended up telling me that too right i did but and i knew that and i knew that like my mom would be the same and i knew that okay it would be the same go do that but um i'll be waiting for him to fuck up so i can stab him in the ball sack

with several tiny toothpicks just like an appetizer like an order little olive oh my god there are so many men listening that are just like good crossing their legs right now good um don't fuck with her your balls are gonna be an hors d'oeuvre i'm gonna serve them to a sorority house oh my god i love you so much anyways continue your story oh my god i'm crying my boyfriend told me that

amelia he said you're funny but amelia thinks you're hilarious i think you are objectively hilarious but I'm gonna thank you you know I'm gonna I'm just gonna catch me in Amelia's comments Liz has been oh I also want to put on the record Liz told me that she's proud of my clapbacks today they're very good that they're unbelievable that will sustain me I've taken a few of yours and thrown them at people on Twitter oh my god thank you like um I remember when you had said um oh come here. Oh, they're fighting. Let them fight. Um, I remember you had said, Hey, uh, arguing an argument with a different argument doesn't help either problem or like arguing a problem with another problem doesn't solve either problem. I'm like, yeah, it's true. Like, okay, now we just

have two problems yeah so cool congrats yes how are we gonna work on this that makes me so happy honestly it's an honor you're the callback queen and that that'll sustain me for the whole week it it will i i don't know if i'm riding a high from arguing with the biggest fucking florida idiot in your tiktok comments or the caffeine pill both i think it's like get me through the summer heat you're at the apex of both right now yes and then this high from you catching your ex's bullshit can you okay so I want to put a bow on that because I could honestly keep talking about it for forever and I need to not I keep interrupting in your defense oh and I just did it right now you're you're fine this honestly is one of those things that I feel like I could just

like take two episodes to talk about it because I'm so fucking mad but I'll end it there I am very episode uh yes we need to i am it was very validating finding this out when i first heard it it was validating in multiple ways a when he when squints first started telling me that he put this together part of me was like i don't want to i don't want to hear it spidey senses tingle though well so when he said that he he was dating a girl there i was like i wonder if they know each other i would have never have thought that it was her ever in a million years what are the fucking odds um but when he first started talking about it I wasn't like I don't want to hear it which would like that would have 100% been my reaction six months ago you know like I didn't want to hear

anything about what he was doing I still don't but it was very nice to know that I can hear about it and not spiral and I'm sure it was also like very validating and freeing to know that your suspicion was finally officially confirmed yes like you know the truth now yeah yeah he tried to keep the truth from you he's probably still trying to keep the truth from her but hey we got a podcast so good luck keeping that secret you fucking idiot bitches i know um not that we're like talking about this to expose him by any means like no i've done so much work to make sure nobody can figure out who he is but it sucks she knows who she is and if she hate listens to this girl you got cheated on so yeah and he will probably continue to cheat on you he'll do it

again he'll do it again and it sucks because when people show you who they are believe them the first time amen amen i think i said that last week it's true it's a good line i love how the sirens are going off in the background there's so many cue olivia rodrigo wow i'm not allowed to say that was really pretty do you want to come up here he's auditioning for the next sing us your song come here that is some pipe and hot tea pipe and hot tea spilled today i am so happy for you thank you i you you know i was with my boyfriend when you were telling me this juicy gossip and we were both like god damn i loved how at the barbecue he was like i was talking about hanging out with squints and your boyfriend referenced another guy he was like oh

is this the one whose identity got stolen because it was like a whole thing that we'll tell that story another time i don't know how i forgot about that but that was i can't believe we haven't such a good fucking do you want to talk about it today yeah god that is such a good your recap of that whole thing would be um such a good story so this is like by far i texted my friends who live in other states to tell them this story because it was just like so delicious and juicy and piping hot so Amelia occasionally I'm telling this I'm telling the story sir so this all was unfolding when I was on my way to get my first no my second vaccination shot so sometimes Amelia gets text messages this had to have been maybe only the second time right yeah um yeah it'll just be like

hey it's we met at a bar or something like yeah we had a class together and Amelia has Mr. Number where it's a dollar a month and you can trace people's phone numbers not sponsored yeah we've talked about this before so the first time it happened several months ago she plugged a number into Mr. Number and it went back to it said it was a google voice number and I can't remember did you reply and then he sent you a dick pic yeah that was basically the story he was like we had a class together you gave me your number but you had a boyfriend which I didn't do because I was loyal af in college so I was like this isn't true it's like the only way you would give someone your number is probably for a project right and I took one business class and I knew

everybody that I did the project with in that class I was like don't fuck with a bitch with a good memory amelia's got receipts since she was born i stock up the ammo and then he was like do you like fit guys and i didn't answer and then he sent me a dick pic and i answered i'm pretty sure at your look at the six pack on this dick yeah like what the fuck is i have never gotten an unsolicited dick pic until then literally which is crazy to think about was i home or something i don't know i texted you and you were like you have to you call you like told me what to say because I was so like what the what the fuck I mean when was that you must have been home maybe you were at a wedding my memory's shit I don't remember the time frame of this but I was basically

like leave me alone this is sexual harassment and then I never got a reply so that was the first time so then this second time she got texts like from a google voice number and then she's like it was another time we were recording and you were like I'm bored I'm gonna entertain this yeah it was actually i got it on video when i read the text for the first time i should share that and it was like hey we matched on a dating app a while back and then like amelia doesn't give out her number on dating apps very often no like at that point she's verified a guy she's about to give her number to so right um and she's like this seems suspicious he said a name of somebody that i knew in college very like vaguely he was like in like a peripheral group you knew of him

yeah we had been in the same together and i knew that he had a girlfriend um so he said his name and i was like and it was it's a name that isn't common it's not like john smith it's like yeah it sounded like a name from a movie yeah yeah i was like okay did he think he was just making up this name right so then um like the i asked him to send me a picture i was like can he showed me a picture to jog my memory and he sent me a picture of the guy with the name that i knew in college whomst i knew for sure was not tech i would have remembered matching with this guy on hinge yeah 100 he's he's a gorgeous gorgeous man yeah did not match with him on hinge so then um amelia basically caught this fucker in a lie yeah and i can't oh so he sent a picture

and it was like grainy yeah even my boyfriend because he drove me to my appointment in case i passed out or something uh we were like he was like why would he send this like grainy pic and i sent it to him and i was like hey will you like reverse image search this because you can see like maybe the original source or something similar so he reverse image searched it nothing popped up he's like the guy at the he's like the guy with the computer in kim possible so um i was like we didn't find anything and then um i was like you should message the guy who it actually is on like instagram or facebook or something and like verify so that's what amelia did and he was like oh my god thank you for showing me this like that is not me and this

isn't the first time this has happened and I'm pretty sure I know who this is and then uh after some sleuthing you know Amelia's like well who do you think it is and then she was like he uh he was like do you know this guy and it was someone that I had a class with in college who had been messaging me questions about anal a bunch before we had the podcast I could almost understand it if we had the podcast at that point and even then these questions were very not appropriate no they were very inappropriate because also if you if you listen to this podcast because you're like i want to hear girls talk about sex like go fist your own asshole because that's not what we're about no um it's fucking disgusting it's annoying it's like super annoying yeah we know you like

sex so like you know go listen to some audible porn i don't know what to tell you yeah uh anyways that's my own nothing else to say no that's perfect um so it was a guy who had sexually harassed Amelia before and um has her phone number probably from school or whatever yeah and I have his yeah so he's messaging her from a google voice number she's verified it's not him meanwhile she's still texting him and he's trying to like gaslight you he's trying he she's like hey it's a little sketchy because i don't give out my number so like what's your angle and he was like well if you don't believe me like we don't have to like don't even talk to me anymore like trying to make you feel bad like you're gonna like pine after him right and like

i called that number from a blocked number at one in the morning to see if there was a voicemail and then he texted me in the morning he was like did you call me from a blocked number at 1 a.m because if you did then we can just leave it here and i'll delete your number i'm like whoa dude way to look fucking guilty yeah like okay psychopath chill out so uh she basically has this guy like backed into a corner and then just unleashes on him like I know this is a google voice number I know this is not the guy who you're saying you are and then um the guy who it actually is that Amelia was messaging back and forth with on Instagram he also went to the guy and was like this is your last time fucking doing this like pretending to be me because I guess he's done

this multiple times he sent me all of these screenshots of other instances that this guy has messaged people and it was all stuff about anal and like asking like the same questions at the original number that texted me months ago like do you like fit guys like shit like that it's the same guy and so he sent him that long text that was like I'm going to call the cops I don't think he's ever gonna fucking call you know what I mean but just to scare him yeah um i'm gonna call the cops if you keep doing this and i messaged him at the same time and i was like hey liz also wrote wrote this text for me it was basically like um i really hope that you get help like because this is sad was basically like the gist not even just like it's sad like this is

not normal behavior no yeah this is it it it's not like it's victimless either like you're hurting so many people in the process especially the guy you're pretending to be yeah well and he's hurting himself the most yes and it's just like what what are you gaining from this and why won't you stop and realize like what you're doing is not normal or okay and it it's not victimless yeah so like when I think about it too it's such it's like okay I understand if you're like frustrated with dating and you like i don't i can't even make excuses for this guy you know but i can understand like if you have a big crush on someone and you're like i just want to talk to them but that's not what he was doing no he is trying to like he trick women into talking to him so he can

sexually harass them and send them pictures of his dick like when it wasn't even his dick what's the end game there it's not his dick no his dick is it some probably somebody he just found like for what i don't know i mean like i've never seen this guy's dick but the body didn't match i feel like it was probably to get women to send him nudes oh for sure he so when i called him out for being like i'm like i know the actual guy that you're pretending to be and i know this isn't him i lied i'm like i have this guy's actual number i didn't but it was i knew it wasn't him it wouldn't been hard for you to get it like you were already talking to the real guy right and you had already traced the number back to a google voice number right and the voicemail was like you've reached

a google voice number i'm like you need to do better at being a catfish so he like this is sad but he was like no you're right i'm so sorry i was just nervous i met you at an audition and comes up with another lie yeah he was like you catch him you know who he is but then comes up with some other fake lie he was like I'm a tall dark and handsome Jewish guy from an audition that you met like back before the pandemic started I'm like if you were a tall handsome Jewish man why are you pretending to be this person that I went to college with that doesn't line up it this is this is strange behavior all around to double down on the lie and then he came back and was like I'm so sorry I'm gonna get help da da da and that's what he said to the guy that he was pretending

to be as well and I sincerely hope that he does this is sad behavior it's sad it's all around for everyone involved it's icky and I can you name a single woman who would do shit like this I watch a lot of catfish so but like but like I don't know any person when you've interacted no never never like like I thought about that experience that you had and then I thought about like my fucking ex-boyfriend who's married and has a newborn baby and is spending his free time making fake accounts to harass me from yes and i'm like i haven't thought about you in six years like what what yeah right for what i just like i can't even imagine i think that the angle that i'm coming from with empathy i mean if he wasn't hurting this person he was pretending to be in

the process then i think i would have a lot more empathy if he was like taking like a fake identity on then i would have more empathy i'm pissed because he's hurting this guy that has a girlfriend and he's fucking with a lot of very innocent women in the process he he's hurting him sure he's hurting this guy yeah but he's i would argue he is hurting women more because he is trying to get something intimate from them yes that they otherwise would not consent to do totally and luckily and nobody's falling for it also just like porn is free buddy go sign up for someone's only fans give them your money yeah give them a few bucks every month and you'll get some fancy special nudes which is what you clearly want yep but i mean like i can't diagnose someone but

i don't have like sure i can try and be empathetic but i'm not going to be i think this is fucked up it is fucked up and I need to come from I need to work on not being empathetic toward people that are problematic because I feel sorry for him I'm like fuck that fucking sucks that you are in such a place that you feel like you have to do this like that's where it's hard because you like I know what you mean like I I feel that way clapping back to people online too but I'm like they have to learn you're saying something dumb and it hurts other people and I can't just not I can't just be a witness like yeah and that's already a problem anyways empathy empathy can enable people and that's where I have a problem with it like I you need to draw a line you need

to have boundaries and women have been empathetic and let things go for far too long way too long you're so right and that's like really where I had to like the text that you composed for me to send to this guy being like you've got to pull it together was basically the gist of the message this isn't normal and it's harmful yeah well i wouldn't have been able to write something like that because i think honestly watching so much catfish has been detrimental because it's always something really fucking sad why people are doing that to be confronted yeah they have to be they have because they're he was he would have kept doing this 100 i and like i don't want to pin this on men because i do think that more often men do this type of shit but i just want to know

why like I would love to talk to someone who does some shit like this and be like what goes through your head that you continue to do this yeah like I've totally had a burner account to go like creep on some other people because you're like oh I don't want to accidentally like their picture and they find out I was creeping on them right that's why I had a burner account yeah but I've never like gone to the lengths to pretend to be another person and then like go harass someone who has upset me or whatever other fucking reason like yeah I've never even like considered taking it that far yeah and it's just what happens in your brain that's the thing I'm this I'm going to do this yeah completely on like insane thing and people will keep it up for years too like people

on catfish will talk to somebody for like literally 10 years pretending to be somebody that they're not at what point do you like truly stop and think about what you're doing and like think like I know this isn't okay but I'm gonna keep doing it I don't know it just like it gets maybe I'll never understand it I mean I don't think that we can but like I can't understand the level of being so buried underneath my own shame that I blind myself to knowing what is normal and what is not and thank god what is harmful and what is not like putting my ego and my desires above other people's actual lives and emotional state and yeah I don't know it's so from what I guess what's lacking is they don't have empathy well I think that that's the

case for a lot of these situations I mean like so there's in my extensive catfish research you might be a sociopath oh my god if you don't have empathy it's beautiful it's beautiful but a lot of these people on catfish are I think where my empathy is coming from for him is a lot of it is sourced from either a place of hurt and anger or a place of loneliness and not feeling good enough in who they are is a lot of the time where it comes from like I just wanted to get online and escape and not be myself for a little bit or like I just needed to get online and get payback for being hurt by all these people all these years I've never had anybody that loved me not even my parents like did it like all of this stuff and so from that standpoint I get it but I don't excuse

it like it's not okay but I get it yeah and also I have been so so hurt and sad and depressed and I've never considered pretending to be somebody else so I just that's like when people use um mental illness as an excuse for gun violence but there are like billions of other people with mental illnesses who don't and it stigmatizes like that mental illness because because of that yeah period i don't know so anyway it's like i know it's fucking it's it's just not i i'm in a i'm in a weird place with the whole thing i'm glad that he got called out and i'm glad that he doesn't deserve your empathy he doesn't you can understand yeah i don't empathize he does not deserve yeah that's the thing that's the difference you can understand without empathizing and that's

a very fine line and it's right now it's like i at no point did i think that this was okay and that's the difference between empathy and understanding yeah yeah so yeah it was a weird fucking situation and the roller coaster was thrilling but in one it is one of those circumstances where like you responding made me anxious because I was like worried for your safety I was where my my inner mom comes in like I notice like I become more and more like my mom the older I get because I'm like who is that who are you talking to what is that don't reply to them right yeah stop that yeah and i need that reminder i was actually talking to squints about my own safety at risk but when it comes to anyone else i'm like i'm the same way and i was telling squints i was like it's

good because like liz keeps me in check about all of this stuff because i am so hyper vigilant but when shit like this happens my safety isn't what i'm thinking about you're gonna risk your own safety yeah you're like okay come at me yeah i'll tase you and i need to be reminded that like no Amelia don't you have never been in a fight you would lose um I actually started sleeping with my taser by my bed that's smart yeah that's really smart gotta keep it close by since I've been on Prozac I've I don't sleep with a knife under my pillow anymore that's a big step so we're gonna move into the sex fact of the week are you already recording yeah oh shit sex fact at the week and liz is reading it this week hey um someone so a couple weeks ago um i had mentioned

that i was suspicious maybe i had endometriosis because i get like really bad period cramps and like sometimes sex is extremely painful like it is dependent on a lot of things so i was like you know this could be aligned with endometriosis especially considering my adult acne and um so a very amazing listener who i need to respond to um sent me like such an informative message on instagram and this is why like i don't know it's just incredible that like so many hot smart ladies listen to us and want to contribute their hot smartness to the conversation um so this is what this user had sent me and everything's anonymous otherwise i would totally give her credit so um i just want to keep people's privacy respected uh anyways so she said

all things endometriosis i'm here to help currently listening to the holy hour episode where you questioned if you have endometriosis you're probably being flooded in dms uh on this but regardless i suffer from endometriosis and wanted to contribute insight heavy bleeding and extremely painful cramps are definitely symptoms women who uh some women won't have as bad of cramps lucky bitches but you should absolutely talk to your gyno about it unfortunately diagnosis isn't easy as the only true way to diagnose someone is through a surgical procedure called laparoscopy laparoscopy it's a tiny little camera that goes in your pelvic floor and abdomen looking for the location of the diseased tissue my doctor has said she found it latched

onto places like the belly button uh latched onto places like the belly button liver and intestines in other patients yeah so this uh endometriosis i didn't know don't be fucking around mine happens to be on top of both my main nerves on my pelvic floor which makes sense why i can't walk when i'm having a period and literally need vicodin to get through get through it without vomiting if endometrial tissue is found they can cauterize it with that same tool they likely won't be able to zap all the tissue and it's never a guarantee you'll get any relief from the procedure but some women do have pain relief some only need the one procedure while others need several it's a progressive disease unfortunately the other thing I heard you mention on the podcast is you have had

IUDs certain IUDs are more well suited to treating symptoms of endometriosis than others like Mirena which I have endometriosis is a little freaky and very intimidating but I hope this helps holy hell that's so informative yeah it was like incredibly helpful and now I know what kind of questions to ask my doctor yeah and like hearing it firsthand from someone somehow makes it less scary yes so if uh there are other listeners out there who question if they have endometriosis hope hopefully a fellow listener can help you too yeah that I mean I feel less intimidated now like do you ever like I feel like I have imposter syndrome about my body sometimes in what way like when you're like am I being dramatic about my period oh or something like

that I have so much to say about that or like maybe I'm just being dramatic or I don't know it's because we we are told so many times again and again and again that we're being dramatic when we're feeling types of things how many gynecologists have you been to that have made you feel like you're being ridiculous for feeling a type of way um surprisingly only one and that's one too many yeah it should be zero yeah hasn't it been two didn't you go to the one that tried to oh i went to those were like walk-in clinics and that's fucked up because that's a lot of people's health care are these one person one woman was officially my gynecologist and when she put my iud and like looked at me like i was crazy for being in a shitload of pain

i have a friend who got the um nexplanon and she put it underneath her muscle and her yeah and she was like that doesn't feel right and the gynecologist was like it's fine it's supposed to hurt and she had to get surgery to get it removed and it's like it's the amount of times i've heard that people have had to have surgery to get it removed is so much higher than i've heard like something positive like yeah my gynecologist did this right yes yeah okay but here's the thing too about having diagnosed anxiety is whenever you have anything wrong with your body that's the first thing they go to you have anxiety and there are a lot of somatic effects so obnoxious but every time I've had stomach problems every time my period has been weird it's always like

you're distressed you're just you just have anxiety no what if it's not and a lot of the time it is but what if it's not yeah then what and you're paying them so look at what i'm asking you to look at there's so many stories and giving you money the worst thing is you have to do your job about it yeah oh no it's so fucked up so anyway i'm so glad that she wrote in i'm going to be in debt for you to do your job so just fucking do it yeah seriously and you're so right hearing it firsthand from someone makes it a lot less scary than like reading it on like mayo clinic because that's so like it'll worst case scenario a lot of the time jump to the extreme because of course when you look up stories it's going to be the most extreme thing yeah so and

it's harder to be like like when someone just comes to you telling you their story it's a lot easier versus publicly being like hey I'm confident some of you have endometriosis can you tell me about it yeah yeah yeah so yeah it's just really nice and helpful and thoughtful that someone messaged us their experience with um endometriosis and like just so many details so helpful yes yeah so thank you so much love you thanks every time y'all write in it makes our entire day it's true we love you we love you um oh before yeah email us holy hour podcast at gmail.com at the holy hour on tiktok instagram twitter we love you children oh my god is that my watch sorry we love you our children that scared me it scared me too my it vibrated when it

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