The Hoely Hour - E47 Bullies: Where Are They Now?

Episode Date: July 9, 2021

"I'm so straight, I f*ck tits." - teenage boys. Have you heard of water bondage? It's basically what would happen if your dentist's office was a BDSM dungeon. Liz and Amelia read some of your emails and messages including cheating tales from a mistress, a fella who was catfished in Australia, and two dudes who can't agree on the best way to make women feel safe (but hey, we appreciate they're talking to each other about it!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

he was constantly harassing me he'd be like liz liz and i'd turn around and he'd be like five dollar foot long which in retrospect is hilarious but in general he was just very annoying i'm gonna start doing that to people hey yeah just people on the bus that's objectively funny yeah welcome to the holy hour i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball and uh i'm not drinking because i want to do stuff tomorrow um so i will be eating an edible that's such a statement so today we were me and liz just recorded on monday and it's thursday today we're trying to get ahead of schedule so we thought that it would be fun to just read some of the messages that we get from y'all yeah we've gotten so many it's so fun hearing from you guys um but before we dive

into that i've been wanting to ask liz what her opinion is on titty fucking i feel like it's just like it's it sounds cool like it sounds cool and like songs and stuff yeah like a yeah and with titty fuck yeah i'm gonna fuck her titties yeah you're right and i don't really know i mean like i guess like i wonder what it looks like from their angle i've been here i've watched like pov titty fucking porn because i've been curious what it looks like yeah or what's sexy about it and i would imagine like it wouldn't feel much different from a hand job but the the concept the concept of it is hotter for yeah them but like it can't it's also just strange wouldn't you just rather like get a blow job i think it's

the novelty of it but it can't feel that good and like my ex used to like try with me and like i don't really have huge boobs so like it wouldn't be anything like super like super sexy you know like i don't know i really think that it's the idea of it that turns them on did he like ever get off doing that i don't think so i don't think so i think it would be one of those things would be like let's just do this really good it's like a yeah like a little side show yeah experience like a little like trans-ish has anybody ever tried doing that with you yeah my i i think two of my exes have tried it i would say more likely just there's only one i can remember specifically and also that was like i think i was like 20 or something it's i think it's a very

very young yeah it's very porny and i think that that's what it is about it there just wasn't like any like lubricant involved like yeah and and when it's dry it's just weird they like when you like blow them on the other side of it like on the exit so much work yeah on the exit yeah yeah out one tunnel into another tunnel what made you think of that i don't know i was talking to somebody it came up in a conversation i don't remember it's been in my notes of what to talk about for like two months oh my gosh and i just we i just haven't talked to you about it oh there's a piece that i cut out of this most recent episode to remind you of water bondage oh my god that's what can i show you the video sure i saved it are we about to watch porn it's kind of porny

it's a bonding moment for us look at us it's kind of porny but it's more like um it's just like a she's naked okay so just for a little bit of context um this whole thing with charles manson he was a not actual charles manson if you're new here it's one of our nicknames um and it's and it holds up we're not making light of charles manson this guy was a whole cult leader more weird on brand like not even not like in a serious way yeah not even like us being like melodramatic about it yeah it's like actually culty yeah and kind of murdery not kind of murdery actually murdery he was an only fans creator and he had a lot of the people that supported him that he ditched were also only fans creators and I've like sparked up a friendship

with them I follow them on Twitter and so now I'm like all over like my whole timeline is like not safe for work twitter and it's a beautiful place to be anyway so this video came across my feed and it's it's a are you comfortable with me showing you this yes okay yeah i was like here i'm just gonna show you this porn we've been through a lot that's true okay i'm gonna describe what i'm looking at right now it is a naked woman tied up on like a circle thing and a guy is using what looks like a dentist tool that squirts water looks like that to just squirt it all over her body like a water pick yeah he's using like a water pick on her vagina and now he's just straight up spraying several hoses in her face and i think that it's a very very cold water it looks cold

her nipples are very pointy i think that it's is this the same girl yeah isn't that interesting and it's called water bondage i've never heard i haven't watched it with sound it looks like a different girl at the beginning and then as it goes on it may be but this is very strange interesting yeah i had never heard of this uh there's kink for everything there is and then i went on a deep dive it's a thing water bondage i think it's kind of a new thing of the people the person that shared it was like as very like in the bds like she's ingrained in the bdsm world and she was like okay wait this is a thing because like sometimes like in like a cold shower feels orgasmic something like that so it seemed like she also hadn't heard

about it so i think this is like a new emerging world if anybody knows anything about water bondage yeah using a water pick on your nipples it's just some guy and he's just like spraying some of those um i think it's kink.com is the website that does all of these but they have like all of the bdsm porn where they like have a girl tied up and they do like pretty like intense shit to her relating to bondage and it's just the guy that's doing it's always the same guy he has like a long beard and a ponytail have you ever watched any of these um i've seen some of those videos but I am not I can't think of like the guy you're talking about specifically I think he's one of the owners I think there's like three guys that do it but the guy with the

ponytail never they never touch him and he like never like gets off to it and he's always wearing a wedding ring and I'm always curious like he's kind of an older dude maybe he's married to like a younger gal but like I always wonder how the significant other feels about the person that's like doing the i mean they're probably part of it they have to be right yeah i would think that someone that deeply involved in kink is not going to date a vanilla person probably not they're not going to marry a vanilla person and it might be like they might be in a polyamorous relationship exactly and i'm looking at it this looks like his lifestyle yeah one of the people that i've met from tiktok is we flirt a lot i'm a big fan of his but he is very outspoken about participating

in polyamory and a lot of the stuff that he posts on Instagram is about polyamory and jealousy and how like there's a like it's not a correct belief that people that participate in polyamory don't experience jealousy and I always thought about polyamory as like yeah they're just like that's just how it is and like everyone's okay with it and like nobody ever gets jealous because they've agreed to this lifestyle but they get jealous a lot and I think that was kind of like kind of validating for me to hear i was like oh okay like this is not like a i could never because i get jealous thing that was how i was thinking about it jealousy is like a big part of polyamory and you just have to communicate about it i could i would get so fucking jealous in that scenario so

if i was like married to a guy that like ran this like bdsm dungeon even if i was like a part of it i would still feel jealous like watching him do shit like that you know what i mean i don't know but that's just me who knows maybe he just wears a wedding ring to look like he's married and he's not maybe who knows anyway maybe his partner died and he won't stop wearing his wedding ring just gonna come up with like a really yeah sad background story for this man yeah god what's his name frank he feels like a frank oh gatsby's like um his name or grandpa's like his name's bill he was so quiet until we start recording that's how it goes oh he's so cute anyway should we dive in yeah so we got a lot of messages from folks about like the cheating stuff so this person got

back to me after um we had already recorded the episode first they replied currently a mistress he'd be really mad at me for saying it that way but but for clarification purposes lol and i said tell us more we haven't gotten any other women's stories yet i don't think yeah this might be the only one that we got and she said my ex who i originally dated four years ago we broke up when he moved abroad his best friend was a girl i'd become friends with like a year later she said she was in love with him and she was moving to be with him she also has a severe list of mental health issues and i'm not saying depression i mean borderline personality disorder narcissistic personality disorder to name a few damn that kind of shit um since comparing notes he and i

discovered we both had told her about the feelings that we still had for each other we weren't speaking and she just lied manipulated and made up things to drive us apart so he could step in he was pretty isolated and really struggling with ptsd at the time and she used it to her benefit a lot of if you leave me i'll kill myself kind of shit which is manipulative and abusive as it is but takes an extra factor when that person has ptsd from the army that's intensely tied to feeling feelings of guilt which there's a few more um he developed a bit of a drug habit to cope and in the midst of that she convinced him to get married i was getting a very different version of things from her and thought things were just lovely and hunky-dory

and she invited me to their wedding and shit got real because we hadn't even acknowledged slash realized the feelings we were still having but friends of theirs who saw us talking to one another basically hounded all of hounded all of us the whole time about what was so clearly going on between me and him it wasn't a real wedding it was like a celebration dinner because they had gotten married on paper already due to some bureaucracy reasons and walking into the wedding because i somehow ended up spending the entire time with him almost done with her and she didn't notice anything weird because she's not a human what the fuck to her but a possession so she doesn't want she doesn't see his feelings that's that's fucking deep yeah um and he was just

shitting himself if he uh if he didn't worry about what the embarrassment would do to someone in her state he'd have stopped it right then i um i had kind of this whole or what i had kind of this whole facade she made for me about their relationship ripped away as i repeatedly watched her scream threaten and insult him over arbitrary things repeatedly so we came to terms with our feelings he realized he wanted out and we were making plans for him to leave and move back to Israel to be with me and then COVID hit. We made it a while but then distance got the better of us for most of the last year. Since they were rocky they decided to move back to Israel so if she needs it she had access to our socialized health care slash mental health mental hospital she's familiar

with and then once they were here we actually tried to stay apart but it didn't take so now we're essentially revisiting uh revising the plan from before covid very interesting damn i wow i don't even know what to say about that like first of all like the pain of feeling of knowing that somebody that you used to date their best friend that you became friends with then falls in love with them leaves for them ends up getting married to them and then having to watch the guy so weird to me yeah the dynamic of that is bizarre like you still have to agree to like get married and if that's not what he want i don't know no i don't know these people me neither so if that's an interesting take on

an interesting side of being a mistress unquote like because the relation not that not that it's ever right but the relationship is so clearly unhealthy for him and you already have all of this history with him it's hard not to fall back into that and like while it takes two to tango this might be unpopular just I I think we've kind of said this before like the person that's cheating is always the one at fault the person that is the mistress in the situation should definitely not partake in it regardless I yeah I'm trying to think if I was like a mistress I would not knowingly agree to that no that's hypocritical of me to say but you live and you learn yeah you know like that's the thing about growth like it's the same thing with everything like cancel culture

it's like we want people to learn we want people to learn from the mistakes that they make but then we don't allow them to and we call them hypocrites when they get better we don't let them change yeah and you have to let people change that's the goal yeah what's the point of educating people on like misogynists like is an example that I know that we can speak from if somebody says something closed-minded and then I take the time to educate them on it from my point of view and they do better me being like yeah but you were like so close-minded before it's like well then what was the point of educating them yeah exactly if you're never gonna forgive them exactly so I think it's the same kind of thing with cheating and being a mistress I the saying

is once a cheater always a cheater i part of me believes that i think that that's the truth for a lot of people but i also think a lot of people make mistakes and learn from them and deserve to be forgiven from it yeah you know like you live and you learn we're all so fucking young at one point imagine not changing at all since you were like 17 i know so many people like it's disgusting speaking of people like that um my high school reunion is coming up oh my god soon it's uh it was supposed to be last year but covid um so they rescheduled it for this year how do you feel about that i mean i'm not going oh i have no desire to go bless your heart i'm so excited for mine really yeah i was thinking i was like i wish i could go just to be like a fly

on the wall i don't want to participate i just want to like see what happens that's fair because it feels like i'm in a facebook group for my reunion and i added one of my one of my friends who lives here in seattle i added my friend to uh my high school reunion page and he's like older than me and like obviously did not grow up in las vegas but he like will like interact with some of the stuff people post it's so funny that's amazing it's like on brand for him it's so perfect for him and um but it just seems like a lot of the people going feel like they have something to prove just based on what they're like commenting and I don't this is why social media exists I can see what you're doing and like we don't have to talk yeah yeah right that's the thing about I was

talking about this recently with some because my high school reunion's coming up it's going to be in September of this year and that it used to be so exciting to go to high school reunions because like oh I wonder what everyone's doing like all the popular kids are probably doing nothing with their lives you know but everyone knows what everyone's doing now everyone has access 100% of the time to people that we went to high school with so I don't know I'm excited to get like me and my friends are gonna get a hotel room near the reunion and get like so cute fucked up and show up like fucked up to the reunion one of my best friends is helping plan it that was like she was in ASB and like whatever role she I think she was secretary she's responsible for planning it

so she like knows all like the inside scoop um so it should be it should be interesting but it's not going to be anything like exciting what are your bullies up to today they were all older so i don't know where are they now everyone that bullied me really well i'm trying to think if anybody in my grade bullied me were they older than you yeah all of them the people that were like really mean to me were a year older there was one kid who bullied me in front of my whole history class when my teacher stepped out of the room for like a 30 second phone call he just like started putting me on blast he his mom I found out recently was at the time very sick with cancer so like I'm able to look back now and be like okay like they were hurting and I was an easy

target because everybody was picking on me so he's engaged now I'm trying to think who else I've actually one of the guys okay yes so I mostly boys bully you no it was like the like the popular kids which was like boys and girls like it was like split down the middle but there was a guy that I had a crush on who he was like like the typical like long swoopy hair like I have a video on my youtube I'll send it to you yeah um like really tight jeans and I was like obsessed with him and him and I were nice to like we were kind of friends we like wouldn't hang out but like we would talk in class and I was like oh my god he's so popular he's so nice to me and then someone caught wind that i had a crush on him and she put it on blast to everybody and was like you're

obsessed with him it's so creepy everybody thinks it's so creepy and then he started being very very mean to me and i have no idea what either of those two people are up to neither of them have social media so i'm excited to see them put me on it i will find them yes i'll give you their names oh okay after this i'm gonna look them up okay see what they're up to and catfish both of them how fuck yeah i wasn't bullied but i also like have you ever seen 30 rock where liz lemon goes to like her high school reunion she had always pictured herself as like a misunderstood nerd but she was like uh people were like how dare you show up here and she's like what and then they're like you were such a fucking bully I so I feel a little bit like Liz Lemon like oh my god I don't

really like have a memory of like I feel like I was mean to people but I don't I don't remember like incessantly picking on anyone yeah okay I just I just hated everyone collectively it was nothing personal I feel like you are um what's the word I'm looking for perceptive enough to know if people thought that you were being mean you know i not back then no oh my god not at all i was just like not paying attention to anyone else that's hard to imagine i was only thinking about myself that's so that's hard to imagine with you but i mean that was me so i don't know i don't blame anyone if they're like liz ball was so fucking mean to me i want you to go to your reunion i remember specifically being mean to it like the hottest guy in our school yes but

he was mean to other people well good then so i was a dick to him and i think he was very confused he was like why do you know i am are you so mean to me no because he had never been mean to me and you were standing up for the underdog sometimes i did that hell yeah but most of the time it was just like i was such a smart ass if i could be a dick i would do it if i was bullied no if i were you in this scenario for how i was in middle school high school i would be even if he was mean to everyone i would kiss his ass because like any attention from anyone with any sort of status when i was growing up i was like please be my friend i now i'm like i was not i was not cute for a little while but i thought i was very hot and then i did not actually get attractive until

my senior year or no my junior end of my junior year i started to look cute of high school finally cut my hair i'm gonna read another one hi liz and amelia i found your podcast through tiktok starting with amelia's choose a different prom segments your show is one of the most entertaining things i've listened to recently and i love learning from your experiences and getting to know your vibrant personality is a bit better from the other side of the globe in australia talking about the level of background research on a guy that amelia has found oh god i'm so creepy from the internet made me think about one experience i had on a dating app fair to say i have some trust issues the conversation seemed all right but a little off

i wonder if you've ever done this but i worked out that i could reverse image search her photos on google and my gut and my gut was right guts are always right it turned out the photos of this girl that supposedly lived in melbourne was actually a model in taiwan so a very clear catfish it really is amazing how easy it can be to call someone out on their lives just using google i'm not sure where you're at with your dating lives because i clearly have some catching up to do but i hope you both find or have found someone who treats you with the respect you deserve oh unfortunately it is abundantly clear there is no shortage of shitty guys around stay safe and i wish you lots of ongoing success that's so sweet this is from one of our male

listeners well sorry you got catfished but also so fun like to catch someone yeah god that's such a good feeling catfishing yes like i mean it's not a good feeling getting catfished but then also like doing a reverse image search and it coming up is like like the puzzle piece just like fitting in you're like it's oh i caught you knew it i fucking knew it it's i after catfish has been on the air for so long i'm amazed people are still catfishing yeah it's so easy to catch you it's so easy it's so easy and there will be people on i think i said this on a past episode there will be people on catfish that will not ever they'll talk to them for 10 years without video chatting them or meeting them in person do you remember that guy who it was like a picture

of selena gomez as and they got like um this fake profile was pictures of selena gomez and then they're taught the guy is showing them the profile and then like neve is like straight up like that's selena gomez what did he say i don't remember celebrity i don't remember so fucking funny that's so hot I bet do you think there's someone out there who's using your pictures to catfish no and I'm a little offended I feel like there probably is Facebook has there is no shortage of pictures of you that's true I'm very available online I there is a feature on Facebook now that will tell you if somebody is using your photos to catfish interesting it's they they started when they first introduced the feature that's how they were advertising it like

that way you can see if people are using your photos that without your consent yeah um but they won't say that anywhere else now but it's like someone was finally like wait a minute you're scanning my face yeah yeah hold on a second but it's like what it's that feature that like look at the photo um yeah is this you is this you that's it and um i never get any of those so i don't think anyone's using me to catfish anyone but you never know maybe you should try reverse image searching some of your uh pictures that's a good idea i should do that i you know what i should do that i'm gonna do that have you ever gotten like have you had any experiences with that no and i am also offended right whenever they call anyone on catfish just like this so

and so is using your pictures and the person's always like oh yeah this is not the first time to happen i'm like what can you imagine i'm too ugly for you to catfish as me god the flex of being like yeah people steal my photos to catfish people like it sucks it's very violating but like yeah there's a there's a level of it that i'm like i almost why not me i almost want it to happen so i can take on the challenge of tracking down whoever it is you know yes and then be like fbi please hire me yeah and please let me start a podcast about doing it yes there are some episodes of catfish world where the person that is being impersonated will join neve and max or now neve and um the woman that's helping host now cammy um she'll like go with them to track down the

person that's pretending to be them and it's an extra level of drama camaraderie it's the best thing yes i would totally do that me too fuck okay i thought this one was really funny dude i know you get 1000 of these messages but can we be friends yes well you're my friends already you have to know i love you guys your energy your kirk your quirks everything i wish i could have my best friends with me here and have this relationship you guys have and care to share with us um i am french 38 and single mom for your statistics living in germany and i live for your episodes and hearing you talking about what is dear to me and i often so so or and i fight so often to bring across here and in paris so much work

you've guessed it it's a tipsy text but i stand by what i'm saying you are awesome i love you guys keep going and if you need a french or german point of view let me know um let me finish my glass of what you guessed it champagne what else i love you and go to sleep baby is waking in eight seven six no five hours yay did i mention i love you i love you okay bye oh my god those are my favorite messages to get we love you too we love you so much i was cracking up reading that one oh that's so funny oh someone else texted us she's like i was listening to you guys while i was high sorry for the weird message what's the original message i love that let me look i was just like i love that someone is high and listening to us yeah that that's next level so fun their original

message was hi i'm listening to the recent podcast and y'all mentioned mr number i want to tell you that it's a great app to use sex workers use it for work purposes too love you which I thought was so interesting yeah I didn't realize that yeah I love that um and then uh she like corrected something in her message and said sorry I was high listening to y'all and writing this down lol that's a great message to send when you're high though yeah that's well that's like the kind of information we love to learn yeah you know I love that like it also helps sex workers yeah and just fucking annoying nosy white girls who want to know every time anybody calls me that i don't recognize the number i was like putting this shit in the mr number and that's like my bank

but i tell everybody download it to keep themselves safe a few times it hasn't been a few times it hasn't been there have been some guys that will give me their number on a dating app that won't have social media and won't tell me their last name and i'm like i got a way to figure it out dude and then i'll figure it out the guy that scammed me on craigslist for the kendrick lamar tickets did i ever tell you this i think so yeah it was a while back but it was my only time using craigslist um and i will never use craigslist again but he scammed me and i was able to find out through mr number his name his mom's name his dad's name i was gonna message his mom um oh this is the guy that i used to just call and would just breathe into

the phone he'd be like who is this he eventually changed his number i think because he scammed so many people that he had to but i like to pretend that i creeped him out and he changed his number because i would seriously call him like three times a day to be like that's really funny though hello how much money did you lose like 120 it was like nothing i took out a it felt violating even if it was ten dollars i would have felt violated like i put out a police report the police probably looked at it like we have bigger fish to fry sorry we're eating donuts they're like we have to go harass black folks yeah sorry we actually can't help you with this oh okay this is interesting okay male listener here i first discovered youtube via tiktok

oh our tiktok y'all blowing the fuck up follow us there male listener here i first discovered youtube via tiktok and decided to give the actual podcast a listen since i feel decently comfortable in what i know through candid chats with friends and my wife it is definitely interesting and great to hear a different perspective on things via someone i don't personally know i've just started not too long ago but i'm already on episode 26 oh hustling and you guys mentioned faking orgasms and how guys roll a condom off to make it look like they've come i'm not sure how common this is because not many guys will openly talk about their own physical selves but I know two other friends and myself have been able to orgasm without actually ejaculating we actually do

talk about this on a later episode so this person probably heard this by now it was odd the first time it happened but it has become something I can control mainly to avoid cleanup via specific muscle clenching interesting and to avoid this being too long you also talked a bit about the physical touch love language I absolutely love when my wife rubs my back or arms scratching my head or bare skin and I am obsessed with just holding her boobs I think she falls somewhere with touch and words of affirmation and I love to hype her at hype her up at every chance I get I'm really enjoying the podcast so far interesting that is I wonder if it hurts at all yeah I wonder and how do you discover that yeah I don't know also I'm gonna start surveying now

be like hey have you ever come without jizzing yeah i i'll tell you i'll tell you who this was but cut it out when we were like hooking up we were doing a lot of like everything but sex kind of stuff and he said that he had come without ejaculating like a few times throughout the duration of the day and i was like that feels that was the first time i had heard of that so i like that feels like you're just saying that yeah but then after that we had kinky katie on and she was talking about um making her boyfriend come with the cock cage and he couldn't really like get hard with it on and so he was coming without he was having an orgasm without ejaculating yeah and like so after i heard about it once i've heard about it so many times since then yeah

i wonder if it's also something that you learn with age i don't know and maybe that's why we're hearing about it i didn't realize that you could we're older now where does the calm go if you control it like it's one thing to just like not come guys can control this why do you ever come yeah why do you ever ejaculate it must hurt yeah well and then like also that would just like be so much easier preventing pregnancy that's what i started immediately started thinking but maybe you can't accomplish it when you're having sex we need to do some independent research what the fuck um i would like to request a grant

yes please send us money this study on patreon uh-huh i'm slipping a boob out again only people on patreon know that my boobs are out i'm gonna do this every episode my boobs are out every episode they're just tits out for the patreons tits up for the patreons we have been thinking about adding a fourth tier for feet pics yeah will you do it uh it's fifteen hundred dollars it's such an absurd amount of money and then um they're not even pictures of our feet they're gonna be pictures of animals feet just little toe beans yeah it's grandpa's feet it's just different toe beans i would sell pictures of my feet for 1500 what is that 750 that's 750 each yeah did i do the math right on that i don't know i'm not yeah that's the mountain yeah that's right

that's right thank you thank you amelia sampson mathematician thank you everybody thank you i'll be here until another half hour um but i thought this was interesting an interesting uh topic do it to it um i'm gonna read it at the same time so i can pay attention okay uh it starts off hey guys huge fan i am a cishet brown male and tonight i had an hour and a half long debate with my best friend cishet white male basically i said that sometimes when i'm walking behind a woman or in front of one i'll hang back or cross the street so they are not scared or uncomfortable to me this seemed super obvious and not like a big deal and just like a decent thing to do my friend disagreed but before you judge him just know that he is also a feminist he does

a lot of good and a lot of good social work and therapists including work with women who have ptsd from abusive relationships he is a kind and wonderful person he just has a different view he agrees that the most important thing we need to do is educate men and topple the patriarchy but he said that slowing down or crossing the street is infantilizing to women assuming that they are weaker and less capable than men and that is that it's perpetuating perpetuating a stereotype about men and does nothing to change anything it's a band-aid but i was saying i'd rather do that than have a woman be afraid of me he says it reinforces that women should should be afraid of men um i think some of his stronger points were uh comparing it to how some white people view

black people or muslims um should they cross the street uh to show they are not a threat he mentioned that um we should look at women as being able to take care of themselves and not look at them as weaker i understand his idea but i had to admit something that made me uncomfortable in that moment which was yeah if i wanted to i could hurt a lot of women because of physical aspects of myself just by the just by virtue of being a man which meant yes in a way i do think of women as weaker physically but I told him I know some women could kick my ass and some are armed but the point is I don't want that I don't want women to think about strategy and violent encounters if I can just remove myself from the equation and have it be a moot point by just not being there

behind them or ahead if it's possible for me to wait across the street we both agreed that ultimately the most important thing is educating men and changing things on a grand scale but we couldn't agree on this because to me it's a small thing that costs no effort but to him it is detrimental to women to view all the men around them as predators and those who have ptsd are being reminded that yes some men are attackers when one man decides to move away from her well i get it like i understand your friend's point but like i like kind of disagree with his friend i 100 disagree i understand what he's saying and i disagree like i feel like he's taking like an exposure therapy approach like let's just like you're never gonna get over it unless you see

that not every man is scary and when i and i agree with the person that wrote this email like he is saying it's a very small thing that we can do to help women feel safe i there has never been a micro instance of me walking across the street at night and there's been a man like in my blind spot and i've been like i'm glad that he stayed there because he didn't attack me and now i know because we have to stay vigilant like we have to and if if i learn this is fucked up but if i learn to like not be hyper vigilant when i'm walking alone at night that's going to be bad news for me down the line when there actually is a bad guy behind me it's it's better for an actual like good guy to just be like i'm going to do this little move across the street so you feel safe so that i can

tell when somebody's behind me and they're not moving that they're bad news yeah this world does not exist like you can't say like what is the ideal and not take the steps to actually get to that yeah like the middle ground right now in the time that we are living in is for you to give women's space yeah i don't think that like yeah this exposure therapy approach is like going to it it is more progressive than where we are as a collective like bill cosby just got fucking released from prison 60 women that he has abused have grounds of proof and a lot of awful awful experiences with this man and he got out on a technicality like this the system is built against us really and if you crossing the street to help us feel a little bit safer has to be a debate

then like I don't have a lot of respect for you if we're asking you that that's what we if that's what we need that's what we need just fucking do it it it's not that big of a deal this is like the whole thing when i was talking to people on tiktok about like just walking their female friends to their cars it's like a lot of the not a lot a few of the people in my comments were like well like i don't want that that's a lot of people's a lot of women's attackers are people that they know yeah that's a hundred percent true you mean like you bro yeah why is why is that the first thing that you think of you if you're that's the thing if you're a good guy then why is that even a part of your argument i hate the i hate men on tiktok that are like pandering to women in that they're

like women i like love and respect you it's like no why don't you just like use that same energy and talk to men instead of saying like women's right it's why virtue signaling is so annoying it's like they don't show up where it counts yeah exactly very very annoying like i'm gonna kick your ass it's like okay well your friend just like grabbed a stranger's butt are you gonna do something about it no but like he's a good guy right he's just doing a little goof he did a little oopsie doopsie whoopsie daisy he didn't mean it can we just ignore this one um i don't know i just i agree with the author of this email yeah and i don't agree with his friend and i understand you like wanna like i love how the he's a feminist and he does all this great work yeah but

He can still be misinformed. Yeah. And also, is he like asking women what they want? Probably not. Or is he just like, I think this is what's best. Uh-huh. Should we do a sex fact? Yeah, let's do it.

Okay. Gymnophoria is the sense that someone is mentally undressing you. There's a word for it. Have you ever experienced that with someone, that someone's mentally undressing you? Yeah, but not like a stranger. what is it like how do you know when somebody's like what what is one of the signs that somebody's mentally undressing you um they're just like giving you a slow like up up and down yeah like a little like scan okay gymnophoria i love that there's a word for it that's very interesting

have you experienced that i don't know maybe like i feel like i've been i'm trying to think squints will do this thing where like he'll be across a room and he'll just like raise one eyebrow like slightly and it's like it makes me like feel a type of way it's like i can tell what he's thinking you know i'm like we're gonna step in so i'll feel that that it's like not like mentally undressing and maybe that's the same thing of just like they're just looking at you a type of way yeah yeah yeah um that is the best too though when you like when you they're just like looking at you a specific way and you're like what yeah stop you're so stupid what what are you looking at oh me oh wait speaking of squints and

sex um we both live at home me and squints you know there's listeners we both live at home and And he was over for we had a game night with my best friend, Katie, and her partner and my parents and then me and squints on two nights ago because we had that super hot week. So Katie and her partner were staying with me and they were staying downstairs, which is where squints and I normally go to have sex because it's the furthest away from my parents room. And we were both like really like we like needed to fuck and I'd like been a while. and so we took my car around the corner in my neighborhood and had car sex that was my first time having car sex since punching my ex in the face in the car by accident if you don't know that story wasn't on purpose i was like grabbing onto the arm the hold and i just slipped slipped and punched him in the eye it was the worst experience and so that was my first time having car sex

and it was great we were like only lit by the street lights like far away so it was like kind of a challenge but i have an suv so like it was like a lot of room to fuck around but it was pretty it was pretty great seats down put the seats all the way back and then we just kind of like laid there for a little bit and then we just like drove back at home on the hottest day though that was the second hottest day we left my car on yeah which kind of sucked because my my rear lights were on i turned off my headlights but like the red was still on so i was like anyway but there's something really hot about like maybe getting caught it was pretty great um have you seen uh normal people the show no they have a good car sex scene everybody talks

about that i should really just watch it the sex scenes are very good oh like realistic yes nice but hot the only thing i don't like is they like kind of kink shame oh like people into bdsm and they allude that she likes it because she wants to be abused oh i don't like that at all that's not true that kind of like contributes to the yeah the yeah the um what's the stigma yeah the shaming of the kink the shaming of the kink oh that sounds like like a a dance yeah or like like a like a film noir the shaming of the king the shaming of the cake it sounds like the taming of the shrew that's why i heard this great play does this exist um all right should we do a rappy poo yeah let's do a little rappy let's just like a little cute little rap just wrap it up i'm

gonna see you so much the next few days liz and i recorded monday i'm seeing her today we're going out tomorrow we're recording on monday and then we have an interview with another podcast on tuesday you're gonna be so sick of me here a lot no i don't think that's possible oh good i feel and on that note we love you um at the holy hour on tiktok instagram and twitter holy hour podcast at gmail.com fuck i'm fucking nailing that lately doing it uh we love you thank you for listening we love getting emails from y'all we have so many more to send us all of your emails send us all your thoughts we we have a good time we do we love you we love you our children