The Hoely Hour - E54 Megan Fox Renaissance

Episode Date: September 18, 2021

AMELIA IS BACK! What would beard trends be if women grew beards? The girls talk about Megan Fox and MGK (bi panic) living everyone's ultimate teenage dream, how in heterosexual relationships men are often blinded by divorce, and if it's possible to look good after sexy times. The girls give listener advice on how to navigate casual sexual relationships, read a marriage horror story email, followed by possibly the most fun email they've ever received. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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welcome to the holy hour i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball and i'm here today i had a brain fart uh just like doing the intro i was like oh what do we say who says their name first again it's it is a very i don't know why doing our intro is always such a scary thing but it is i wonder if everyone feels that way who like podcasts like if your intro is like the weirdest part i feel like a lot of podcasts have their intro pre-recorded like a lot of the podcasts that i listen to are like disclaimers at the beginning they're like also like from current so there's like a a long intro but they're always the same disclaimers and then a song and then it's like hosted by blah blah yeah yeah exactly tmg has a pre-recorded intro

interesting i love if if you are looking for another podcast to listen to don't abandon us first of all you can listen to more than one podcast yeah don't leave us this doesn't need to be exclusive although if you want it to be exclusive with us we don't mind right we can have that conversation and i'm like really cool with being exclusive with you yeah but if you're looking for another podcast like you know on once you've all caught up um wisecracking blonde show obviously um and uh tiny meat gang is a podcast hosted by Cody Ko and Noelle Miller and I have probably mentioned them a hundred times on this podcast I'm very in love with both of them and both of their girlfriends I'm like fully involved in their lives but they have a really good podcast

it's a lot like ours in like the sense that they're best friends that just like just talk and it kind of feels like you're just hanging out with them yeah it's really really nice I don't know and there's no real like structure to the show they just kind of like talk about whatever but anyway all that to say just the boys being bros being guys being dudes exactly and like they being boys they lean into like the bros being bros kind of like like ironically you know so it's like kind of refreshing to listen to i don't know i just love them so much we should do an episode where we're the the boys being boys oh fuck yeah all right we'd do a great job i think we would too we need to pick a guy persona like a stereotypical brand of guy okay okay i feel like

i'm just always gonna default to like the the tech bro would one of us be an incel oh we'd be so good at that we're so exposed i think one of us would be an incel for sure that would be fun i feel like we would both have to be incels we would bounce off of each other well anyways um we'll do up for halloween yeah okay we'll be insults for halloween cosplay as a boy oh yeah our halloween episode will be us as insults i kind of love this idea if you have a better one let us know though perfect opportunity to plug our i think that's the scariest thing what being a incel oh yeah there's nothing scarier on halloween no no fuck that and a serial killer also i just really want to have like a fake mustache or beard i don't know i you know how you love beards i want to

have one i want to have a mustache really badly i love a good mustache they're they just seem fun and i think that mustaches and facial hair should be for the girls and not for the boys agreed i think it's rude that they get that thing agreed and then they have like the gall to tell us like oh you girls don't you wear makeup and guys look so fucking different with facial hair that's your makeup stop bitching quit your bitching i've always wondered like what trends would be if women had beards or could grow facial hair like what would be like would you like get extensions for your beard and just have like long hair like like tinsel and feathers in your beard yeah some guys still do that yeah fuck yeah glitter beards would be like straightening

her beard hair like what would there be beard wigs I just I want to know I have a lot of yeah french braid your hair into your beard there's so many things you could do the possibilities are endless and honestly they gave that responsibility to the the group of people that won't do anything with it I have seen some really disappointing beards like it it takes so much time to grow a beard and so much care and like some men just let it do its own thing like why would you dedicate some of your life to something that you don't protect and take care of you know you're not gonna protect and take care of me your beard shows me how you would be as a husband anyway subscribe to our patreon if you want to see um i'm just gonna plug it through our grown out

see how awful my hair looks i will let you roast me please don't please don't roast me though because i'm fragile um also follow us on uh tiktok instagram twitter at the holy hour everything throwing that in here now i keep trying to find opportunities to plug our socials like in the middle of the episodes and it's always clunky so forgive me the holy hour on all of those holy hour podcast at gmail.com to email us we have gotten the most interesting emails recently yeah i mean always but like we've gotten an influx yeah i can't wait to read one of them later i okay go on uh we have some things that we need to cover so many things um can i have a little psa for a sec yeah you heard my breakdown on last week's episode um i just want to reiterate like

how important it is to pay attention i talked to my therapist about this again today like how i need to get better at instead of like adding things on when i'm stressed like subtracting something to add like I can't pour from an empty cup and I think that's important for I know I'm not the only person that deals with this um it sucks when things that contribute to like making you feel whole and like okay start to like kind of suffer because you're so stressed out so um I'm really happy to be back that fucking sucked Liz was such an angel about the whole thing she called me we talked on the phone for like 45 minutes after that whole like fucking ordeal i was i was a mess but um yeah just like keep taking care of yourself i'm so happy to

be i miss recording we're not recording yeah like the whole month of it's not like you didn't want to record oh my god that was what was so stressful about it was like how do i fit this into my fucking day like how am i gonna do this yeah and since we're doing this between our job that we use to pay the bills that's hard it can be hard so subscribe to us on patreon people are gonna stop listening i can't hear me like you're talking about patreon um but then we can do this full time and i'll stop crying every episode amen okay continue on with what you were gonna say um well the things that i have are things you wanted to talk about okay yeah well i'll dive on in then um what was the most pressing one you wanted to talk about i really want to talk about when you

sat down you were like i have something i've been waiting to talk about for far too long i want to know what it is has been especially prevalent recently so I think no I don't think I know having a podcast that has the subject matter that it does gives some smaller minded people like the permission in their minds to like objectify us or think that we are a certain way because we do this which is especially frustrating because the point of doing this is to show that it's not taboo or like unusual I'm like this is just something that people even if people aren't thinking about it they might be or if they're not talking about they might be thinking about or they might be talking about it like in like private settings and like

I have just noticed I'll be talking to somebody and this has been the case since we started i'll be talking to somebody and it becomes apparent really quickly that like it's kind of like a means to an end like they're trying to like see what they can get out of me in a lot of instances and i think for a while like what do you mean like sex yeah for a while i was like when i was just like hooking up and like doing whatever like and not really putting a whole lot of weight behind it i was like all right sure like and that's fine i mean i'm all for transactional sex i've talked about this openly before but as time has gone on i've been realizing how much more it's starting to bug me that people have this like preconceived idea of me because of

what we do here and i i don't we haven't really talked about that like we've talked about it in the sense of like relationships and how that's going to affect relationships in the future but in terms of like the public perception of who we are like how how we are like how we like conduct our lives just based on this it's a very clear when people feel that way they don't listen to the podcast oh yeah but I just wanted to talk about it and ask if you've had any sort of experience with anything like that um I feel like I get a lot of judgment on Twitter um like if I like reply to something I remember specifically I replied to a politician's like job posting for a social media specialist like a social media manager and I was like you're requiring way too

many duties for one position for like too little pay like this is the job of three people and um that's just kind of like what I had replied to the politicians like to you and then um I also I was like I'm a marketing professional and like that this is like what you should be paying this role and then um someone was like how could you call yourself a marketing professional uh dress the way you are or something like that yeah and i was like why don't you post a picture of how you look and we can decide if you're good at your job and then he was like oh he's like what's your only fans and i i think it's so annoying when men like say that yeah like it's like oh what what a sick burn yeah yeah i'm so hot that could be the only way i make money

right yeah which good for those women and like also you're just saying that like men like you are fucking stupid enough to just pay women to look at them right so right they're capitalizing on your horniness yeah who's coming out on top in this situation they are um i don't think i've run into too many issues as you have just because I started dating someone so soon after which obviously was not something I was anticipating yeah but um I mean that has been interesting to navigate too because like of course we talk about we're not just talking about sex we're also just talking about relationships and dating and what we're learning yeah and that clearly involves like my current partner so I have to be very careful and considerate of like what I decide

to talk about and I've said this before like he doesn't really listen anymore and I don't care like there's not anything that we talk about on the podcast that I haven't already talked to him about right so it's not like he'd be learning anything new and plus we spend so much time together it's like he doesn't also need to have a parasocial relationship with me totally and that's how I know that's how some of my friends feel too it's like well we already like talk all the time yeah could you not has anyone said anything directly to you about that no it's just like very obvious yeah they just think that you're gonna fuck them yeah it's like okay no but maybe however I also am a person and I care if you're a good person and if you're gonna be nice

to me yeah right and it's been interesting to kind of like use that as like my like I don't my like mile marker I guess of like like how much I've changed throughout the past year because when people would approach me for sex before like being like oh like you know like and would still have the wrong idea about the podcast but they would still approach me I'd be like okay because like I was that's what I was looking for was just like meaningless shit yeah and it was fine and we were talking about it and now if a guy approaches me there isn't there is a um an instance a couple of weeks ago a dude was trying to sext with me and I was like really like I'm attracted to him like just because you have a sex and dating podcast doesn't mean you're always fucking

horny and like right that's the thing and like I realized like I I throw my walls up like as soon as I can see somebody starting to slip into that mentality because I'm a whole person outside of this and like I'm like I was thinking about it and it was interesting to think about the change in that because if that was a year ago I would have been entirely different in those conversations and now I'm like also I think that kind of behavior is really juvenile like it just reminds me of like how a boy in high school would talk to me or approach me or even in college yeah and i don't really feel like i have to deal with that anymore as an adult no and it's like i don't know i think it's good the next time it happened when i was talking to this guy i was like hey listen

like i don't want to like be a like awful to you because of like in the past how people have been like i know i don't know if this is your intention but like people tend to like use me to like fill this like hole in their lives of like a sexual need or like always bringing up the podcast or like oh well when we get together we're gonna fuck like i've gotten that a few times also you and guys are like are you gonna you're not gonna talk about me on the podcast right like you're not interesting enough like people are like oh i'm gonna have you sign an nda i'm like what like you should tell guys you're gonna make them sign an nda fuck yeah i'll bring ndas with me to hook ups yeah yeah like your basic boring ass needs an NDA versus like you who makes a living off of

content that's so true do you mind go he's like no I don't mind what are you doing sir I'm gonna bring him a chair okay I was gonna tell you something that's been weird for me lately um that I've been noticing is just like the way other men treat me because of Mr. Liz yeah like we went to a concert this weekend and I was wearing like vinyl like leggings like they're shiny and like pretty cool and um this guy walks up to me and points at my leggings and looks at mr liz and he's like these leggings are amazing to him like is turned to to my boyfriend and then he was like uh thanks like they were all her like she dresses herself she's an adult woman like and then there was an it made it made me think of like another time um when we had been

traveling on the east coast we went to like this um Amish I don't know mini mall basically or waiting in line to get food and this old man comes up to Mr. Liz while I'm like looking at the menu I was like kind of off to the side squinting looking at the menu to see what I wanted and then I walk back up and this old man is saying to my boyfriend like you know what you need to teach your girlfriend how to cook and then i was like what the fuck excuse me well and i was especially annoyed because i'm like motherfucker i make so many awesome meals for us and just for myself and then um he was like mr liz he's so amazing he's like actually she's teaching me how to cook hell yeah what a perfect response and then i was just like oh my god i want

to die oh god and then um the old guy was like yeah you know what you know why like men don't know how to cook it's because their moms don't teach them and then i wanted to be like don't fucking say anything about his mom because she's an angel a fucking angel man and uh he then he was like because they want their sons to find someone find a lady to get married to and then i was like yeah god i mean like i guess it would make sense for like this old man to be thinking that way but this guy's just like he's so like how do you what happens in your head that you're like yeah this is a night this is a good thing for me to say i don't care if you're old yeah no i know it's shake it out of your system yeah that surprises me as a young guy at a show that's like hey man i like

your girlfriend's pants i don't know if that's like a respect thing he was like kind of middle too oh yikes yeah yeah i mean and then he was like he's like why do men talk to me to talk to you yeah when you're right here yeah i was like getting really annoyed about like the more i thought about it i was like it is fucking annoying how like men treat me when he's around i feel like this was just like event session for me no this is good um i had another question oh yeah well not another question a question that i thought of on my way over here because i'll tell you why once i answer it do you have a celebrity crush that you're like embarrassed to admit that you'd fuck probably but i feel like i need to think about it okay i'll tell you mine in the

time and tell you why i thought of this question post malone is so hot to me and like i look at him and i'm like but he's not but like he is because he's so lovable and fun and goofy but then he looks how he does that's one i was listening to he has a song called feeling whitney that is so fucking pretty and i'm like i would let this man i would suck the life out of post malone through his dick and tell nobody so that's one and then the other one is this rapper you know he'd be so nice to you oh my god he's so cute he's such a goober like a bottom okay i could see it he's just so cute like all of he like there's a bunch of videos of him like dancing to shania twain at the vmas and like he's just like i just love him so much um the other

one i have to pull up a picture because you probably don't know what this guy looks like because he's not like that famous his name's tokyo oh god see looking at him i'm like i can't believe i'm even saying this out loud uh he like no i get it there's something really sexy he has like an adam driver thing about him yeah but this guy is more attractive than adam driver oh that's a lot coming from you yeah and i love adam i know you do i will proudly go to pound town speaking of which have you had are you on good soup tick tock yet no i keep seeing god i need to be i keep seeing references i need to be on good soup tick tock oh fucking funny what's it from um girls oh okay it's adam driver yeah yeah and he's sitting at the table and eating soup and he just goes

good soup and people have just been like putting the audio to different videos and it's the best of tiktok it's so fucking good my god it's so fucking cute it's such a cute i'm gonna find it so i can get your reaction what on air what's your favorite soup my favorite soup yeah i love a good chicken noodle my mom makes the best chicken noodle soup i if french onion soup or a person i would marry and fuck the shit out of that soup that sounds really weird but french onion soup okay fuck marry kill french onion soup broccoli cheddar do you like broccoli cheddar before that's i do okay and tomato um i'm gonna kill it with grilled cheese on the side i'm still gonna kill tomato soup yeah okay um and then i will fuck broccoli cheddar

and i will marry french onion soup those are all good answers because when you marry french onion soup you get to be with french onion soup the rest of your life that's true you get to have continuous sex with french onion soup yeah okay here's good soup that's it and it's fucking beautiful squint started saying good soup and i had no idea what it was from and i started seeing people tweet about it i was like am i living in the twilight zone what the fuck is the way he aggressively is that's what makes it i love him nobody loves adam driver like you love adam driver i think he's probably the same he is as he is on tv does that make sense yeah absolutely yeah it's

like he's not really playing a character no he's always some moody character he's a good street man he really he's beautiful is he yeah i feel like everybody a lot of people think adam driver okay okay would you say that he's your like embarrassing celebrity crush i would also fuck seth rogan i thought of seth rogan too he's daddy now but i'm like i would be proud of that because he's a babe and he's hilarious yeah um i would also be proud of adam driver because he seems scary and hot and i like that combination that would be such a flex i like to be like a little afraid yeah I I honestly like I don't think there's anyone who is a celebrity that I would like hook up with that I would be ashamed of does that make sense yeah like if I was ashamed of it

I wouldn't hook up with them that's fair but I mean like like showing you that picture of Tokyo I was like no he's fine you know what I mean but like that's the kind of reaction yeah you're like if you were dead yeah right oh man i might have an interesting question we'll revisit a longer yeah we'll revisit stay tuned yeah um do you have anything else on your list because i have a whole fucking list um let me look again uh i did have a rant i have a couple of rants i love your rants this is just an episode where i'm ranting i love that um this is a positive rant um i want to talk about megan fox and machine gun kelly yes i fucking love them yeah me too i like was reading how um once megan fox started like dating machine gun kelly people were calling her a slut why

because like machine gun kelly's like tatted up and she like left her husband for this relationship or well i think she the more i was reading about it i think that she just wasn't happy and um they were on and off i guess yeah and then his her husband had said like or i guess ex-husband i don't know if they're officially divorced yet but what she he was like you know I was upset but also like she didn't ask to feel this way she just does and I thought that was like wow he goes to therapy for sure yeah he was like she didn't ask to feel this way she can't help it so like even though it hurt to lose her like and I also keep seeing this theme on TikTok of like men are always blindsided when their wives ask for a divorce because women will try and make a change

like for years and then um like it'll be a conversation like hey I am not happy I want you to do more of this and then it'll change for like a few months or something and then it'll go back to how it was yeah so in her head she's like okay I'm meeting my threshold of like I'm not happy and I don't want to do this anymore so then when she asked for a divorce like men are always blindsided yeah and it happens a lot and I think like one of the most important things that um I had heard sorry I have to collect my thoughts for a second uh oh just the idea that like there's just kind of like this ongoing joke of like we see it in media of like your wife is supposed to be unhappy and you're just a guy

you know so there's just already kind of this idea set into your head like your wife's always supposed to be a little unhappy and cleaning up after you and always cooking and being your mom and nagging you but that's not what people want that's like not what women want and that we're also not sold that same idea we're sold the idea of like you should be passionately in love with your partner for the rest of your life and they should chase after you the way like jim chases after pam and like does everything to be with her and i don't know like the disney princesses to look at exactly exactly so we have like two fundamentally different ideas of what a relationship is supposed to look like from a very early age and um it's kind of like you know when you know

that you are going to break up with someone and you like the first time you have the thought you keep thinking about it and then maybe you like have a few conversations and you're like I want to change this and then nothing changes yeah I mean this happened to me when I broke up with um the ex who I forget I dated because he was so like normal but also he wasn't I felt like everything I talked to him about I didn't really like see any difference in our relationship so I remember you saying that yeah I had already made the decision I didn't want to be together yeah and then when I broke up with him he was really blindsided so on a larger scale I think that happens a lot in um marriages where women initiate the divorce totally yeah and like in

the Megan Fox case it's so with celebrities and otherwise I think that it's like always easy for people from the outside to like fill in your own narrative like oh god what a slut first of all so what and then they also just say that because she's so fucking hot yeah right like she just is like the perfect like everyone's perfect idea of just like a sex icon because she's just so attractive in that way like she has that like something extra that that je ne sais quoi yeah she really does she's she's a smoke show yes and i think that's like why people like men do that all the time like if a woman is beautiful he just thinks that she's gonna be a slut it's so fucked up it's like well if i think she's attractive that means other guys think she's

attractive so she probably just fucks all these guys that right think she's attractive yeah that's also like not true no men want a hot woman and like none of the pressure of dating a hot woman and she can't know she's hot yeah she has to put on glasses and she's ugly yeah right and then you take off those glasses and she's so hot she loves library yeah and tea and her book girl girl i like don't know that she's hot and girl girl don't girl don't talk to boys girl don't go to club girl don't post on instagram girl don't like sex only sex with me but girl like things i like girl like thing like game on the computer time and um uh she's good but not not as good as me at the video game yeah at computer game

you've already nailed our incel uh halloween costume yeah but i talk like that yeah that'll be the whole episode y'all will love it no they're gonna murder me i feel like it's so annoying when you talk like that i love it but like in the case of megan fox and her divorce like people do not know all the context of the divorce like they could have been ending for so long and then like she was on this video shoot with machine gun kelly and they fell in love yeah they were supposed to film a movie together they were and that that's how they they initially met but then kovat happened so they had to cancel it oh and then she was in his music video yeah because they had met and she they just like got along and um like in an interview he said that like she immediately

like took him to like a psychic and like was like i need to like she looked up his astrology chart which i like i was like this fucking girl i love her so funny yeah and then um but i my rant is like i fucking love them together when people are like oh like you could be like a jacked guy but like girls will still want to date a guy who looks like this first of all machine gun help kelly is hot yeah he is attractive he's a string bean but he's hot yeah he's beautiful and um he's got all those tattoos that's hot and he's keeping he's single-handedly trying to keep punk rock alive with travis barker i respect that when i listen to his music i feel like i'm 13 again hell yeah and like travis barker having this resurgence of life because of courtney kardashian is fucking

dope like flying again and like really just like they machine gun kelly and megan fox and then courtney kardashian and travis barker they're like like pda and just kind of like embracing it and being like well fuck all of you we're just gonna like make out in the middle of italy and like i want that yeah you know yeah everybody wants that did you see scott disick yeah having a meltdown whatever um but i want to continue my rant they like when people are just like hating on like their PDA and whatever I'm like they look like they're having so much fun and like when I like watch how Megan Fox is with women with Machine Gun Kelly like you can tell that she feels like a teenage girl again and when you have gone so long without

feeling that way about someone like when it comes around it feels so special and it's just like I'm so excited for her because I'm like oh my god I know what that feels like like yeah so fun it's just really dope seeing women win yeah like same with Courtney like she and her and Scott were in this like really toxic on and off she was like always kind of babysitting him she was dating younes who was like so young and like young of mind young of body and then she her and travis barker have been friends all these years and now they're like madly in love and they just want to show it and it's like fuck yes like you've gone through so much and like seeing people genuinely happy and again they're celebrities we don't know like the whole story like it might be for show

whatever blah blah don't be in our dms about it but seeing them happy is so exciting yeah it's like fuck yes like everyone should find their happiness and not give a fuck what anybody thinks about it like who among us wouldn't want to feel like like you know machine gun kelly is fucking stoked he is dating arguably the hottest woman alive like yeah she is such a babe like and then it's like every teenage boy's heartthrob yeah he had posters of her in his room didn't we all you know same where's my turn with megan foggs exactly megan call us hey hi we're a package deal um and just like the way that they probably feel about each other is like just imagining it is really precious yeah i agree i agree so i'm happy for them me too and i just feel like she is finding

her voice and standing up for herself more and more whereas like before when she was over sexualized and criticized at a young age like it was like she just had to deal with it and uh it was just like a joke he's like haha yeah she's so hot let's put her in like booty shorts and no one asked her how she felt about it no of course not and she's finally getting her reckoning she really is she's living it's the megan fox renaissance motherfuckers that's the energy i'm bringing into age 30s megan fox renaissance should we get matching tattoos let's say megan fox renaissance absolutely you will have a chance with her then megan we love you subscribe to our patreon i i don't know if i want to be her or if i want to fuck her

that's the confusion of being alive i was talking with um some of my friends about like not wanting to fuck someone but like wanting to masturbate as them and we called that meta gay and now our group of friends is called metagay it's just such a funny idea it's like i'm not gay i'm metagay i want to masturbate as them that's called like autosexual when you get off to yourself i feel like that sometimes during my um my thirst traps shoot sometimes i'm like i'm fucking i'm are you are you ever like i'm so hot i'm gonna masturbate to how hot i feel sometimes sometimes i've only felt that way a couple times yeah yeah it's not often i think sometimes a thirst trap shoot happens because i'm feeling like sexual in the moment you know and then i'm like i see what

you're saying fucking good my thirst traps happen when i'm sad that's and i want to feel better about myself i've done that i think it's a good reason to do a shoot you're just gonna post a sad girl thirst trap all day and because you need some shallow attention and it feels good to just have even when it's just the girls sending you the flame emoji you're like thank you i needed this compliments from girls hit so they hit different different than yeah i just i want the i want the straight boys out there to know to compliment girls the way her girls compliment her yeah hype us up comment on the picture and be like fuck yes girl you look so fucking good you're inspiring me rather than like oh fuck i'm gonna fucking fuck you so bad can i tell you my one

petty um thing you're like yeah i don't think i might have already told you this i mr liz keeps asking me what i want for my birthday and i made a joke that i want him to post me on his instagram yeah but it's not a joke what did he say he just laughed he's like ha ha ha well if you think of anything let me know i'm like shortly after he posted me on his instagram story oh he also never posts no he doesn't i think it was his last post was over a year ago so that's true but still i do still like i don't know when guys are like posting pictures with their girlfriends and like saying how much they love them I'm like it's really nice I want that yeah everyone wants to feel like you want to show

them off right now yeah like this is my this is my girlfriend and I love her and I think she's hot right I mean it's just like a cute little that meant so much to me in college if my boyfriend at the time would post me or not and it was the source of so many of our fights it turns out he was cheating on me but when he started posting me like even if you just put me on his story once every so often it would mean so much and like i didn't want that to be the case but if you think about how social media is like that's that is like a i don't know i don't want to say profile but like it's like kind of just like a like a one cheater on your life like that's where everybody goes to look at like what you're up to like who you're hanging out with and it's like

sometimes i just want to be prevalent on that one cheater i don't think that's too much to ask i don't i don't think we actually talked about this last week do you think looking hot after sex is a myth i don't think that it's possible people on people on tv always look so hot after sex i look in the mirror after sex and i literally could not possibly look worse i i think that well i think that like your partner doesn't think that like but i low-key like looking like a mess like um after having sex like if my makeup is running off my face yeah i don't know yeah yeah good soup good sex uh i i don't know and then when i think about like i i like when they're really sweaty oh yeah i am into that i i'm sure they're like oh i feel so gross but i'm

like so what on me get those get those hormones all over me baby boy i think it's different though like i if i could just look like sweaty and kind of messy in my makeup running like i don't wear eye makeup so like i don't really get any of that but like i look like a fun entire raccoon my hair will be up because i'll be giving them head go straight into sex and then the ponytail stays once the sex is done it's like a loose kind of like on the side ponytail and like my eyebrows kind of brushed up my chin is red because i only hook up with guys with beards it's not a purpose i feel like it comes with the package you know you're gonna have a your mouth's gonna be red i have i know what that looks like did you see that yeah like a projectile

yeah oh geez it queefed in your face everything's falling apart now um ew i didn't like how that sounded um yeah it's like it does come with the territory i think you're right every time i like look in the mirror after sex like with squints i'll look in the mirror and i'm like oh god he's like no you look beautiful and he's really sweet about it and not in like a no don't worry it's fine but like in a genuine way and i'm like okay but then i watch shows and i'm like like where they have like a sex scene and they're just like laying in bed after like oh my god yeah and it only takes three seconds for them to both come at the same time yeah i'm like oh where no that's a myth it feels like a lie that's fake it is a lie oh god i was dancing

all weekend and i'm out of shape i was dancing in heels on sunday and i'm still feeling it liz y'all the i got a video on what was that sunday oh was it me doing the worm invite me to your wedding i'll do the worm on a basically empty dance floor i got this video from one of our old co-workers and i'm like we're the last ones there uh so good needless to say have you ever had a white claw surge no they're eight percent white claws holy shit i was worried it had caffeine in it too because i was like if this has caffeine i don't want it yeah right but i was looking at it it didn't have any caffeine just eight percent alcohol holy shit i looked at the bartender and i was like r.i.p and then he just started laughing well fuck fuck it uh but i was

gonna say i think that no matter what like people do look hot after sex but i think in shows and movies that just isn't reflected accurately no for sure and i mean like porn too it's not really yeah it accurately either but like i look i look actually my worst after sex like i look better when i first wake up in the morning than i do after sex i just don't believe you i'm gonna have to take a picture next time take a post-sex selfie i'm gonna take a post-sex selfie next time i have sex um who knows when that'll be all right we got this message on instagram at the holy hour follow us you're gonna have to cut me off from plugging us eventually um hi gals been binging the pot all month recently ended an eight-year relationship relatable and immediately moved

across the country so the holy hour has def become a comfort podcast i'm not fully caught up on the current episode so sorry if you cover this later but i'd love to hear more about how amelia is navigating casual dating after her breakup i don't want to date um i don't want to date date anytime soon in order to fully enjoy singlehood but I'm considering downloading dating apps to get some casual sexy times going totally clueless about how to navigate boundaries and emotions around all that since I've only ever been in a long-term relationship would love a consistent hookup buddy but I don't want trying to hook up to disturb my season of peace but also not getting laid is already kind of disturbing my season of peace lol anyways grateful for you guys really

feels like gabbing with my friends while i'm cleaning my apartment slash procrastinating etc um feel the need to add this on this was a few days later a month later oh jesus i'm so sorry we're just now seeing this um feel the need to add this on because i have downloaded tinder feeling very grateful for your podcast for teaching me through your experiences that it's okay to want to like personalities of people you're sleeping with seems obvious typed out but like i said spring chicken over here i'm caught up now glad you guys took a break and excited for new episodes to come yay thank you we love you we needed a break clearly um yeah I mean like I it's tough because it's like I want to be able to give advice about navigating dating after a breakup but like

I don't have any like it was such a trial and error thing for me and just like following my gut with the whole thing and like you you I like that you were not hard on yourself like experimenting with what kind of dynamic was going to work for you and after a breakup you don't know like you need to like figure out what you need and whether or not that's like another relationship like that's what I kind of defaulted to yeah until I got to a point where I was like actually I think I want to be by myself yeah I just want to hang out in my own company yeah and that's like invaluable and then I was like let's keep riding this train and I'll like start dating people and yeah lo and behold and here we are yeah and I think that that's really how it happens

like I went into much like the person that wrote this like I went into dating like I don't want to date date I just want to like enjoy being single and I just want to like sleep around having a consistent hookup buddy would be nice I mean that ended up turning into something with like music man where like I got more feelings than I wanted to but like I had a few of those consistent hookup buddies that were like it was very obvious from the jump that that's all that I wanted and we communicated that and it was fine and it stopped working after a certain amount of time we cut it off like I think going into these things with the only intention being respecting your own boundaries and never losing sight of them and then other than that just like following your instinct with the

whole thing and doing what feels right and when it stops feeling right like we were talking about earlier this episode like how I've approached sex has changed a lot and being able to pay attention to that and respect that has made that shift a lot more manageable rather than like trying to be how I was in the past of just having like a bunch of meaningless sex and it'd be fun because it really was fun and it was genuine and it's not that anymore I don't want to have a bunch of casual sex anymore yeah you're allowed to change your mind right and you're also like both things can be true yes my therapist loves to say that both things can be true yeah I feel like you say it too yeah I mean it's true it's like you can have had that experience and like loved it while you

were in it and you can also change your mind later yeah and be like yeah I don't want that anymore but I was happy at the time and that's no longer what's right for me right I I liked I think something too that I really liked is like even though you were having casual sex like you still were making sure they were good people and you were doing everything in your power to make sure you were kind to them too yeah so at the end of the day even though like you know you didn't have that like connection or feeling that you want in a relationship you still were being like considerate of their feelings and doing your best to like make sure that they still felt cared about yeah thank you there is more it's more than just like i saw this tweet that was like friends with

benefits would be fine if men knew how to be friends and it's so true because they just treat it as like yeah i'm gonna fuck you and that's it but there is no actual friendship involved yeah that happens way too often so like i don't know yeah maybe that's just a relationship to them but like you can care about someone as a friend and have sex with them and it is not a relationship and it's not anything more than that like I don't know yeah I think it's possible I think it's possible not for me but yeah I mean like if that's what you want to just like go out and just like do it I one of my guy friends is exploring this now for the first time ever he's kind of like accidentally been a serial monogamist like he will go into situations being like I just want to fuck

and like have a good time and then he ends up in relationships since I've known him and now he's navigating this for the first time and trying to figure out like the best way to communicate this to people and like because I think it's different for like straight guys being like I just want to fuck then like you know because that there's a stigma I mean there's a stigma on both sides but like whenever I see that was my approach for so long and still I would see guys profiles be like not looking for anything serious I'd be like you know it's like that's what I want though that's also because like oftentimes that doesn't come with the attachment of like I'm going to be respectful of your feelings that's true like at the end of the day the most important thing is like

are you both being considerate of each other's feelings because you can both agree and not want a relationship you're a perfect example of this like you cannot want a relationship but that doesn't exclude respect so you need to be kind you need to be respectful yes and once you both are in agreement of that and like going to have open and honest communication you'll be able to navigate like casual dating in the way that you want yeah because it can still be satisfying to be single and like hooking up with people but like when people are rude to you and like don't treat you like a human that shit sucks it feels bad yeah i'm getting mad thinking about people just like being disrespectful yeah no i know like it's not asking for a lot it's really it's really

not it's like a basic basic human decency yeah someone wanting your respect does not mean that they want a relationship with you yeah get yourself off that high horse that's the thing honestly like i feel like this is another music man episode that's kind of what i ran into with music man is like we both agreed i mean i fell in love with him but like not actually well who knows but like i i don't think i got feelings i think that i was like i was definitely like a blissful kind of like lust like but I think it was it was the not being able to have it that made me so into it but that was the thing that we ran into was like the second that I started to catch feelings I stopped getting respect from him and like that was him being like up skirt like we talked about

this and like that's not but even though there's not going to be that relationship thing you still owe people your respect like you still owe it to them to respect them and communicate with them and tell them what you need and what you're willing to put up with and what you're not willing to put up with and if you can't respect the need to give respect then you have to cut it off because like just human to human you should always respect everybody especially when you have open communication with them and like you have like a sexual setup with them that requires open communication and respect and like just too often that's the first thing to fall away is communication and respect yeah and it's fucked it's because it's uncomfortable yeah it is it's

uncomfortable to be honest sometimes it's always the best thing but then once you do like that's like um it usually goes better than you anticipate and then also if it goes badly then that's like your indicator that this person sucks and you can leave yep totally yeah everything's a lesson or a blessing should we put that on merch i've been thinking about it let us know slide in our dms um so this one is in response to our marriages weddings and bears wow throwback hi liz and amelia obviously put episode 48 put out episode 48 a while ago however you guys asked for some stories about drama and weddings so i thought i'd share mine oh fuck yeah buckle up ladies or take a shot my husband and I got married three years ago after dating for four years he comes from an

intact family his parents are still together however my parents divorced in a blaze of hellfire before I was ever born oh yikes and since my mother decided to never go to my dad that's a story for a different day so when it came to planning my wedding I knew that having him walk me down the aisle would be a non-starter I tried to plan for things in an attempt to cater to her before approaching the topic of my dad for example i agreed to a more faith-based officiant even though my partner and i are both um agnostic i've had oodles of therapy since and i'm rolling my eyes at myself for all of this wow that's relatable um i finally got up the nerve to ask my mother about having my dad just at the ceremony not even the reception and she ended up throwing

a huge fit about how if he's there she wouldn't be give me a break my mother was paying for the wedding even though my dad offered to split the cost with her so i felt obligated to further cater to cater to her wants even though it was my wedding as a result no one on my dad's side of the family has spoken to me in three years and honestly i don't blame them oh i also i also didn't speak to my stepmom for two years over the whole debacle my dad and i have a strong relationship so while it sucked not having him there he and i worked through it this was just a smidge of the drama that occurred around planning my wedding and yes my mother was at the center of it upside down face smiling anyways that's on family drama we remember we used to say

yeah and that's on yep uh love your show and love you both um if you're ever in west virginia drinks are on me and free snuggles with our puppy are available and then she included a picture of her dog oh my god it's a gorgo he's so cute hi baby well we love you too and i want you to know that even though you're an adult with your own agency that this isn't your fault and family puts us in shitty positions and like that was an impossible position yeah yeah i mean there's only so much you can do but i'm really happy that you found a partner who loves you sounds like you guys have a great relationship and you still have a good relationship with your dad but damn i'm really sorry that you had to go through that weddings really do they can bring out the

they bring out yeah weddings bring out the ugly um and then we have one more fun little email that I have been so stoked to fucking read. Fuck yes. You know exactly which one it is. Do I? I think so. Okay, go on. I sent it to you.

I don't know if you read it. Oh. So this is your maybe first Brazilian listener. Oh, yes. Oh, God, yes. Hey, Amelia and Liz. My name is blank. 25, and I'm from Brazil.

Unfortunately, ha, ha, ha, I fucking hate the president. Wow, we've been there. Yeah. welcome to our pain um hope you're relaxing and using the best drugs in town during this little vacation i couldn't wait to send you an email i'm completely obsessed with the pod i've been listening to it non-stop since amelia showed up on my for you page on tiktok telling misogynists that they underestimate your fbi skills to find their bosses i laughed so much because i have that superpower too uh we should start like a a vigilante oh yeah like a force like a space force

yeah okay i'll figure out a good name my space force um i'm trying really hard not to write you a whole fucking book sorry but i really love the pod you have no idea how important it has been for me to listen to stories like mine and finally feel normal brazilians are known for being slutty and Yes, we are. Thank God. Yes. But we don't really talk about sex. Every time I tried, people reacted in weird ways.

Either they think you're a weirdo or frigid for not liking something, or they take you as a huge slut for liking sex too much. Before antidepressants, I had a high sex drive. Been there. Currently entering that. I used to masturbate at least thrice a week, and a male friend said it was too much for a girl in a bad way. Go fuck yourself.

he was a douche we're not friends anymore but what he said stuck in my mind for a long time i never liked giving head and again people looked at me like i was a talking fish when i said that what a funny phrase that's my favorite phrase some because i was being honest and open about it others because they saw me as frigid i mean i have my reasons for not liking it i don't really know how i'm always afraid my teeth are hurting them by accident my jaw really hurts fast and it takes forever for them to come maybe because i'm bad at it no actually i don't even want them to come in my mouth i have ocd since i've had ocd since i was a kid but only got diagnosed in 2019 because of it i hate dirty

things in my mouth and we all know guys aren't trustworthy with their dick cleaning routine yeah we did read about that yep we sure did and oh my god what would i do if they came in my mouth i see myself brushing my teeth until it bleeds they're absolute there's absolutely no pleasure for me in this just disgust and shame never had the courage or felt comfortable with my exes to ask them how they liked it or explain why it was uncomfortable for me my worst ex we all have that one once said all my ex-girlfriends and friends love giving blowjobs you are not normal for not liking it i told him to go ask them for blowjobs then good for you i hated him he was abusive and forced a relationship on me but that's another story the point is he made me really think i was

a i was frigid and a weirdo but uh with my next boyfriend i realized i fucking love sex and that i can come with just penetrative i what a blessing i know i'm jealous i just didn't want to have sex with that disgusting human being yeah when someone's personality sucks you like don't want to have sex with them especially if they like pressure you it just adds stress and then you don't want to have sex if you're stressed yep it's a never-ending spiral um i still don't like giving blowjobs and still feel ashamed but hearing you girls talk about sex gave me courage to talk about it with my therapist let's see what we'll find in this scary black hole ah last time i had sex was january 2019 my depression got really severe that year and i just wasn't in the mood

for living respectfully laughing haven't we all fucking been there wow this is the most relatable thing yep and then i went on treatment fucking covid happened couldn't leave the house because my OCD has taken charge of my head since then hopefully this year I'll take the spider's web out of my coochie the poor girl I've translated a saying we have here haha sorry for the long email I just wanted to share my story with you because I feel like you're my friends and even better than them I know you won't judge me we feel like you're our friend too that makes me want to cry the last sentence just made my heart pitter patter and then she said some more nice things and um thank you so much for writing this and like oh she also wrote love

you my children yes um oh girl this is seriously first of all never apologize for sending us long emails yeah fucking lit for this second of all you were hilarious yeah this was like when i when i opened this email i had like had a long day and it was like one of the funniest fucking emails i had read I immediately texted Amelia like she needs to go find it and read it yeah but um I like those are the kinds of messages that just make it worth it you know yeah obviously all of the the love you guys send us makes it worth it but um we just like love you know knowing that like you've something like this made you feel comfortable talking to your therapist about sex that's huge for us it's really hard to talk to your therapist about sex like yeah I don't think

I talked to my therapist about sex very much until I was like so I'm starting this podcast with my friend yeah we're talking about sex so if I'm gonna talk about it to the world yeah I should probably talk to you about it uh-huh and it I mean it's probably one of the best choices I've made for myself my god she's so helpful oh my god yeah it's just really great like there's a lot of um there's a lot of baggage that comes along with having sex so I think talking to your therapist about it is really great and then we've also gotten like I was surprised by this even though I shouldn't be we get so many emails that are like you've made our sex life better like oh my god that's so rewarding my boyfriend and I have a better sex life after listening to you and I mean

I think it's just because like we're having these like conversations candidly so then you know you could be like hey so it's listening to this podcast like what do you think yeah right it just provides the platform to have a conversation about it and totally we advocate for communication more than anything so and it's I know it's so obnoxious and it's so straightforward but it's so fucking hard to actually practice like communication is what makes your relationship like the relationship of your dreams I mean it's it's a muscle for sure like judgment-free communication especially also hard when you've been shown in the past that communication isn't possible like if somebody in the past has made you feel like you can't be open it makes it even

harder yeah um and that's a perfect transition into um the issue i'm watching grandpa clean himself and it's the cutest thing i've ever watched um the issue of not liking giving head and like not knowing like how to broach that conversation and like being told in the past that she like oh other girls like giving head there is going to be somebody in your life that you can be open and honest about your diagnosis of OCD and work through that difficult thing together and feel like it it takes some of the power away when you're able to open up and who knows like maybe like having somebody that supports you in that and makes you feel safe in that will make you feel more comfortable doing these things and maybe it won't and there's no shame either way

with it because when you're with the person that you're supposed to be with you find ways around these things that make you uncomfortable like it's it's not one of those things that like should be a make or break thing for somebody and that's if if it is that's probably like not the person for you you know also it's just like the those kinds of conversations like people making her feel bad about it that's going to shape how you feel about it yeah so right like feel guilty for not feeling comfortable for being like i don't really know what i'm doing and then some guy like that you're supposed to trust makes you feel bad for it of course that's gonna affect how you feel about it yeah and it sits there in the back of our brain for a long time and then

yep and then you have to now you have to like do all this work to try and undo it and then for that other guy to fucking make her feel bad about masturbating what the fuck is that our orgasms just for the boys fuck off he's also probably insecure that he won't be able to make her come like she can make herself come yeah exactly sounds like a personal problem dude yeah can't fucking deal anyway thank you so much for writing in we love you so stinking much sex fact of the week sex fact of the week oh yeah sex fact of the week oh baby girl i don't know why i need to throw that i like how we get like 70s with it i know it feels good bad mama jama that was the stupidest thing i could have ever fucking said i felt like my grandma when i said that fact one out of every

six americans aged 14 to 49 has a genital herpes hsv2 infection that feels relevant to a lot of things that we've talked about on this podcast what is it one out of 49 one out of every six one out of every six aged 14 to 49 has had or or has a genital herpes hsv2 infection insane that's a lot of people yeah one out of six what is that 33 yeah i don't know i don't i don't know math well i'm my dad's gonna be listening and be like you fucking moron it's um 1.6 percent one out of six people yeah is 1.6 percent that doesn't sound correct 16.66 and then you would move the decimal right two places 16.67 percent that still doesn't seem right you're gonna cut out this math part it's gonna be in there and everyone's gonna be

like all right well you know i was listening for a math podcast and now you've lost my listeners so if it was one out of ten that would be ten percent oh one out of six is more yeah 16.67 percent that was a good way to work back from that this is an important conversation and it's in now this counseling website and this is something we've ranted about in the past a big penis won't stretch out or ruin a vagina a weirdly popular myth circulating on the internet these days is having too much sex or having sex with a large partner or toy can stretch out a woman's vagina and or labia resulting in ugly roast beef flaps ridiculous says harris who's the doctor that consulted on all this the vaginal canal is a muscle and does not permanently stretch

from having accommodated a large penis or toy she explains the vagina is incredibly resilient and bounces back quickly also pushes a whole ass human out yeah also the shape and size of the labia are unique to each woman and are not indicative of her sexual status or history yeah that's the same that's like saying like every time a guy has sex his dick gets smaller and if some guys act like that for sure it's just like i saw a tweet recently that was like um it was like you've had sex with how many women and you're still not good like what aren't you learning you should be better at this wow and that's okay that is so important that it's important for people's sex sexual partners to not and i'm guilty of this i've said this on the in the past

do not fake orgasms this is something that i've stopped doing in the past few months because how is anybody ever gonna fucking learn if you're just appeasing them by having fake orgasms yeah and then also everyone's different um i feel like this was like an mi the asshole post where like some girl was like uh some guy said something was wrong with her because she didn't come and he's like every girl i've been with has come and then she laughed because she was like they were lying to you yeah they 100 were oh my god i love that and you are not the asshole you were doing him a favor it might have i yeah i can't remember where i heard that story but i'm sure that applies to a lot of different people oh yeah like well i've made everyone come oh you surely

have not i'm so sorry honey that's so sad so sad you were lied to on that note we love you it's so good to be back yeah we love you our children oh i harmonized this week wow look at us switching up okay bye