The Hoely Hour - E75 Itty Bitty Tittysode

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

Boobs. Boobies. Melons. ChiChis. Juggernauts. Mama Milkies. It's the boob episode! Liz and Amelia talk about their relationship with their boobs over the years and how it's impacted their relationship with their bodies. We all know nice-guy, friend-zone creeps, but what about the grey line guys? Like the ones who aren't your friend in hopes of winning you over, but the ones who are secretly in love with you? Liz and Amelia read a few listener emails and share a smelly Sex Fact of the Week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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May slow when network is busy. See terms. I was going to hold your hand, but they're sticky because I was eating raisins. Welcome to the Holy Hour. I'm Amelia Sampson. and i'm liz ball hey it is so fucking cold today it really is i walked out to like run some errands this morning and i was like why is it cold and then the earth was like bitch it's february yeah for whatever reason seattle like gets in its head that it needs to be the coldest in february like that's when all the sun was out so i was just really catfish today it was such a pretty day

today yeah i was out when i opened the door when you got here i was like hissing at the weather i do that also the sun too like i love the sun i do too but i'm just my eyes and my skin are just not used to seeing it anymore you know what i mean yeah um before i forget follow us on tiktok twitter instagram at the holy hour we are now not shadow banned on tiktok also subscribe to us on patreon let me tell you why we're going down to one tier oh yeah we'll have announced it by the time um this episode comes out yeah we're going down to one tier just based off of um some of the stuff we've talked about with our network in terms of like trying to build a larger audience first yeah um so in that instance we're going to start putting full videos of our podcasts on

youtube and that's like the biggest perk of being a patron so if we're like giving that perk away for free you know we're not gonna screw anyone over right so it's just gonna be the lowest tier yeah but we are working on like adding in other content and maybe like a new tier um where we have exclusive episodes hell yeah um we'll we'll we'll let you know we'll figure it out you'll be the first to know but on that that first tier you still do get early access to episodes yeah you'll still get early access ad free episodes too which is probably the biggest perk because i know a lot of people don't like listening to the ads there are no ads on patreon um so that'll probably be around five bucks is what we're looking at so uh just wanted to give you that little update also

join our discord we still see people joining it every so often and it's they're still doing movie nights and everyone is so fucking nice yeah it's just amazing yeah also sorry for those of you if you were listening and heard an ad um like mid-sentence we were having some issues like dropping our ads in so we're trying to fix that so hopefully it'll be fixed this week growing pains we're working on it yeah yeah but thanks for sticking with us um i was taking a nap before you came over and this is actually a good um intro into what we want to talk about today and i realized meows i don't know what you're about to tell me meows decides that she wants to step exclusively on my tits when i'm pmsing yep and it hurts like

a bitch cats have like the sixth sense of like where they're just gonna step on like the most uncomfortable part on your titties yeah why why oh every cat i've had it's and then they stand there yes she'll either stand there or she'll move off but then just keep one foot just planted really sturdy on my boob do you know it hurts she must they have to know they have to know they have to but i mean she's like just conniving enough that's like i'm certain she knows my cats do that too so it's just a every cat i've ever had just knows just i'm gonna step and stay standing i'm gonna put all my weight weight on this one paw yeah on the most tender part of your boob it doesn't make any sense and then when you're pmsing it hurts even more yes because that's how i know

i'm gonna get my period because my boobs hurt yeah but as amelia said we're having a full unfiltered discussion about titties today hell yeah chi-chis tatas i was listening to um the podcast obsessed and they uh call them i tanya's and i love that so i'm gonna start calling mine itanias that is amazing it's just like i can't think of a better nickname for boobs well let's let's name all of the nicknames for boobs we can think of okay titties um i already said chichis itanias tatas uh boobies milky mama milkies juggernauts jugs um bazookas oh bazookas that's a good melons melons yeah that's a good one too mosquito bites for some of us itty bitty titty committees um knockers knock knockers that's a good one i

love knockers god there's just so many you already say that i said bazingas oh i said bazookas bazingas is a different one bazingas that feels what what show do they say bazinga on um the big bang theory but they say oh it's not that it's something like that i thought it was like one of their catchphrases i don't think it's bazinga maybe it is yeah it actually might be bazoinkers i don't know um those are all the names i can think of right now you know what's interesting is there are so many nicknames for boobs but there's only one for vaginas like that are used like frequently which is pussy it's like no other i uh was watching bachelor in paradise over the summer and tia calls hers her china pot

and mr liz hated that he was like maker stop saying it i was like honestly i'm kind of like i think it's really funny now i want to call mine a china pot that's amazing uh yeah because you never say like any of the other phrases no like in bed like you're not gonna call it your pikachu in bed one of my friends always calls it her pikachu she's like i you can see my pikachu through this my mom used to call mine my suzy when i was a kid suzy and every time i meet a suzy i'm like oh do you know it's what you call a vagina but i think was just my mom my vagina's name is suzy actually yeah i've known her my whole life yeah wow i have we go way back i don't i don't think i've named i haven't named my vagina mrs tinkle is mine oh

yeah we've gone over that i'm still looking for mr tinkle uh well we know her name now is suzy tinkle susan is her is her government name that was how is suze these days how's she doing she's uh she's hanging in there yeah let's talk about uh i tanya all right take it away um i was just thinking like we haven't had a dedicated conversation about cheats i love a good cha-cha conversation and i've been thinking about mine a lot lately so um i have always had big boobs like forever um and i have gone back and forth a lot between hating them and loving them wow my mom always made me feel really like i needed to keep them covered all the time and then we have like these family friends um

and the wife is from brazil and she's like she's young like let her be let her have fun and i was like you know what she's right yeah mom yeah i'm gonna let my my titties out fuck yeah and not even for the boys it's for the girls free the nipple oh yeah for the girls tits out for the girls 100 all day and um i don't know i i specifically am remembering this time in middle school i was on when i was in seventh grade i was on the what are those little leadership committees called oh asb no there's like a actual thing for it oh yeah yeah yeah oh my god yes you know you have like little president and stuff hold on asb but there's there's i know the name you're thinking of yeah well anyways i did that uh student council there we go i was on student

council okay and um I was just like part of the general student council I don't have like a position or anything but I was helping with the eighth grade picnic so as a seventh grader I was helping with the eighth grade picnic which was really fun because you like get to like leave for the day and go to the pool and um just helping like coordinate everything like getting pizza and all that stuff and I was in like um like long shorts because you know how like that was a thing that was a look the um Bermuda shorts Bermuda shorts that's what they're called I had several pairs from all navy damn okay so you don't need to brag just yeah just like practicing my like butch look um and then I was wearing a bikini top and as a seventh grade the only seventh grader

with boobs they were probably like a large b or c at that point yeah so no one has tits besides me and not even the eighth graders um and then my teacher had like forgotten something and she was like running the whole thing and she was like you need to like we're supposed to hand these out right now like please run back to the school literally across the street like and go pick these up from my classroom here are my keys and then um she was like just go as fast as you can and um we don't have time to like go to our lockers and like put our clothes on so i just we ran over there in our swimsuits and shorts and um i we walked by my classroom like that i was supposed to be in that i was missing for this event and all of the boys stood up and swarmed

the door and we it was like me and maybe two other girls and we were like oh fuck and we buck booked it back to the pool and um the people who got in trouble were the girls of course it was my the teacher in that class was so mad at the girls and not at the boys for their behavior like it was acceptable for them to like cause a ruckus and be like like a cartoon character like awooga well yeah and not for me to just like exist be doing something yeah be doing something that my teacher asked me to go do yeah so it's i mean that's why like you couldn't like show your shoulders in school it was like so you wouldn't like distract the boys it had nothing to do with my shoulder yeah right like you're showing too

much shoulder there literally no one thinks i thought i don't think it was for the boys i think it was for the fucking creepy ass teachers oh shit which a lot of the time are men yeah so i mean like it's really i've never met a guy who's been like damn girl let me see those shoulders right and like i just don't it it doesn't make any fucking sense and that is always the case that is always the case that it's like it's the person that's being oogled at's responsibility for being oogled at yeah it was it's like what were you wearing conversation that like we always have you know it's it's awful and i you know i'm 13 it's fucked up i'm 13 so i'm not even like thinking about that i'm just like i'm just like oh i'm gonna walk by my class that i'm missing and

flexed on them right and then the something else happened they're like oh a wuga um and so i've had just kind of a long journey with my boobs of like always feeling ashamed of them because they're big and um also like it does suck that republican men are like wow i love big titties you know i didn't know that that was a thing that republican men do yeah they're just they're tit men and and and boob men are like inherently problematic and that's the only thing i will say about it if you know you know the the girls who get it get it and the girls who don't don't yeah i don't and now that i'm thinking of it i don't think i know any boob men like actually yeah i don't think i i think

i also don't really know any ass men anymore i think that's kind of like a thing of the past I think I think most guys are just happy to be there totally that question like are you a boob guy or an ass guy every guy that I've talked to is like I don't know I kind of like it all yeah you know like it's just cool that I get to be here right like thank you for inviting me naked yeah this is awesome regardless I think that's how everyone feels yeah in general like you get to like maybe guys who are like younger like early 20s or teens are like oh yeah I'm such an ass guy but i was dating a guy who i was like i can't remember why we were discussing it but i was like okay well which one are you and he's like i actually am not like really either

of those like i love legs like he likes a good set of legs and i was like huh i have a good set of legs i would say hell yeah yeah so and then i thought that was really interesting yeah everyone has something they're a little bit more like right because we're more than just boobs and an ass yeah I also have nice arms I like my collarbone see that's a good that's a good thing I'm thinking about it now I'm like what do I like about myself like see the thing I was thinking about that a lot it's like people are always like oh yeah I really love like my nose you know like I really like just kind of how everything works together on me I love that you know because I can't figure out whenever people ask what do you like about yourself and i can't think of a thing

i'm like that's really sad together yeah i'm like i don't know i can't think like i like my lips and i like my my collarbones that's really like the only things that i can call out in isolation i like my eyes yeah and my eyebrows hell yeah um and i don't really know if i like much else i think not to be sad about it no i mean but that's it's like you i'm starting to really like my arms because they're getting more muscular oh my god that's so addictive when you start to see like the payoff of like a certain kind of workout mr liz always makes me flex hell yeah he's like flex for me and i'm like wait why do you want to see it he's like it's exciting oh we love a supportive man and then if i'm like changing or if we're like hooking up he'll

compliment my stomach which i've never felt confident about so when like when i'm feeling gross it's like he somehow has a sixth sense and he's like he's like you look so hot right now like your abs look amazing and i'm like oh my god that's the fucking best i paid a lot of money for them and you worked really fucking hard for that yeah that's true i do work hard for them my legs have always been my biggest insecurity even as a kid just because like i got hips and thighs before like anybody else did like how your boobs were growing up i got hips in sixth grade and i got like super bullied for them well and then that's like before like having curves down here where like was like a thing right you know yeah because nobody wanted it i had big titties in you know the

jessica simpson daisy duke era so it's just like you're built like an upside down triangle where it's just like a big chest and like nothing else and you know i looked like that because i was a teenager like i had no other shape yeah right because i was fucking 13 you're just like filling out at that point yeah fucking relax real awkward i've i've realized that you talking about mr liz complimenting your abs reminded me like how much i've been how insecure i've been about my legs for so long and then my ex would always compliment my legs like a lot which was always like the best but then i was always like you're only complimenting this because you know that i hate them i was like in that mindset and then I was like you don't fucking mean it you're just fucking saying it

because you know that I need to hear it and then it was like detrimental which is so fucked up like you can get in so much negative self-talk that like any compliment feels like a dig yeah you know like you get into that mindset now I'm just like just accept a fucking compliment Amelia I don't like when people compliment my boobs if they're men specifically I guess because I remember um when I had gone on a date like probably a few months before us starting this podcast but I went on a date and I didn't realize like my shirt was kind of like showing a lot of my chest um it was a new shirt and I couldn't like quite find the right bra to go with it and um I like made a comment about like oh my bra keeps poking out and then because I was just like kept pulling

it up and then he was like yeah i noticed that you have big boobs and i'm just like cool i do like what the fuck wow what a stupid fucking thing to say did you remember anything i said or but um i hate that i i i do love like i love them because they're part of me but now the older i get my back fucking hurts oh i've heard that happens so much like the whole my whole back like my upper and lower back are just in constant strain so uh my mom actually had breast reduction oh i didn't know that when i was in high school wow so i have always thought about it and i'm i think i'm gonna make it my 2022 goal to get breast reduction really how much smaller do you want to go do you know i want to be almost flat chested i want like like when i see like when i see you like

not wearing a bra i'm like that's fucking bitch i want that i just want to be a bitch with no bra i want like like little b size baby girls yeah it is like like a good handful yeah you have like the perfect size i think thank you if you want my bra size i'll write i'll write it down for you oh okay and i'll take it to your surgeon yeah um but i'm gonna look into the process of getting my insurance to cover it that's a good idea because it is for health reasons yeah and i mean at this point there's not much else they could tell me to do because like if i lost more weight you don't know i know you're gonna i cannot i cannot lose more weight which is usually like the advice that they give like why do you try losing weight it's not always the fucking case genetics are a thing

fucking moron so i'm gonna try and get my insurance to cover it i think that's a great idea and it'll take a little while but it'll save me a lot of money it's one of those things that i feel like whenever you say you want to get like a breast reduction or like like like implants people are always like feel the need to tell you that you shouldn't do it and it's like okay well thank you but it is my body you know it's like well why or like try to give you advice and it's like I live with this all the time I have thought of this day in and day out nothing you say is going to change my mind about it so when you first told me that you were thinking about doing this you're like what yeah I was like really you know because like you've you do a good job of like you don't

feel like it's in your it doesn't seem like they're in your way you know what I mean like you dress what like I feel like a lot of people that either like have bigger boobs or smaller boobs don't dress like in a way that accentuates it well you know like they're like falling out or like I was having a problem for a while where like nothing no dress that I was buying was fitting up here right because my hips are so enormous that like it was like really loose up here you know what I mean so like I've never noticed that it's bothered you until you said something to me about it like we've never talked about it I guess I've never like it's something I've always thought but I've never like felt the reason to tell people yeah like oh I want breast reduction right we

just talk about everything so it also sucks because like my I I'm trying to make sure like I don't feel like this because of how my mom has made me feel growing up but also from her I've talked to my therapist about this from her perspective I'm sure she's like trying to protect me because my adult mother knows that people are fucking creeps yeah so she you know i remember her telling me this she's told me this story so many times like when i was in i don't know seventh or eighth grade she took me to starbucks and we ran into like some my one of my brother's like soccer teammates like a random guy's dad and she was like it was really weird because he was only talking to you and he was not talking to me and like i'm the

parent i'm the adult why are you talking to my like teenage daughter yeah you know again 13 14 there's no fucking reason any adult man needs to be friends with a 14 year old girl no or like try and pal around with a 14 year old that was like um cassie on euphoria like when she started growing up that whole like showing her growing up and all of like the family really related to that yeah it's just how it's how it is it's disgusting yeah like wow you're growing up to be such a beautiful girl and you're like cool cool cool cool cool cool well will you tell the boys in my class that yeah yeah you're a fucking weirdo really interesting to see i i'm sure that it's not just women that have this problem but like i feel like we always want the opposite of what we

have like i always want like if you want if you have curly hair you want straight hair i always wanted bigger boobs i've i've made peace with mine like they i don't know i like my boobs but like for a while i was like you know like really like scooping you know so i would like have a lot of cleavage and like all of my friends that have bigger boobs were like no it hurts over here it's painful one of my first experiences in like I was in a dance on a dance team in high school and it was like not through my school um but there was a girl on my team who was like this is gonna be weird but can I touch your boobs and I was like I guess and then she lifted them up and I was like oh my god I could float away and then it was like her letting go of them I was

like this is the most impressive this is what depression is like this is the first moment I've experienced depression and there's been like I'll sometimes I'll ask Mr. Liz to lift him up like that because it feels so nice to just like to not have that strain on your back when you have it every single day uh wow see that's something i would have never thought of now i'm just daydreaming about like having tiny boobs it's gonna be so nice it'll be so fun i'm gonna wear the sluttiest clothes ever it's not like i don't wear slutty clothes because i have big boobs it's that um i can't they don't fit right right that's what i mean is that because you haven't like worn clothes that look like they don't fit right on you so i just never realized it was something you wanted

to do also i just love a baggy shirt oh hell yeah like a baggy crop top oh yeah something about it solid solid but just like working out and doing jump squats i'm like oh yeah you have to have like high compression sports bras yeah oh yeah yeah they have to be strapped down just fucking strapped down but oh man well i'm looking forward to like hearing your um what you find in your research and like when you decide to do it and where you decide to do it i have a good plastic surgeon oh okay well if i can get my insurance to start working for me but i keep getting like served on my for you page like women who got breast reductions and i'm just like god damn that could be me someday but it's it's nice that we're like both on like opposite sides like you're

happy with your the size of your boobs like that's such a good place to be I've just had to come to the point where like I have had to like make friends with my body I mean for like a lot of reasons like the turning point for me was the night before my 25th birthday was like the last time that I really took like a nosedive and like my um like body dysmorphia shit because I stepped on a scale which like god the worst idea ever and i had gained like 15 pounds from the last time i stepped on a scale which was like a year prior and um i like really took a nosedive but like since then it's been just like a climb up of just like everything like my this is so fucking cheesy but and cliche but like our bodies do such incredible shit for us you know and like i was

scrutinizing like every single part of my body for so long oh yeah if i like kind of been there like a part of my body i'm like oh that's kind of like cute i like really work on like no i'm gonna like love that part of my body because it's supposed to be that way i mean i could work out like at least once in my life i like that you're conscious about it though like you make a conscious choice to focus dedicating like love to this part of your body yeah I notice when I'm like in a really like if I'm insecure about something else I'll hyper focus on my looks and get really nitpicky about how I look because it's like the thing that you can like fix or like you know quickly fix yeah you can kind of see it yeah you can like see the change in it it was way more

obvious in my early 20s and I just went through like a hair coloring phase like my hair was constantly different color so you know what i think too it is it was that and you saying that just reminded me like i was changing who i was appearance wise based on what i thought my ex wanted me to be yeah um so i was like dyeing my hair like purple blue pink like i pierced my nose i loved my nose pierced but i got it because of him i was like dressing doesn't it still go in halfway it doesn't go all the way through i was about to be so excited pierced again honestly because like I love a good nose ring they're so cute I just loved mine it just closed up so fast but like I don't know it's tough because I feel like all of this like body positivity and like

loving yourself stuff online is pretty toxic because it seems very like overnight when it's presented that way and it isn't like this has been it took me 27 years to be friends with my body you know and that's not gonna it's not gonna take that long for everybody obviously but like it's not an overnight thing i think that the the body positivity movement has kind of like had a reverse effect in a lot of ways because people are like i love how i look and like but you know there are people that are out there that are like doing really really good work like tess holiday she's fucking phenomenal and like she like really owns it and she talks about her struggles with it and that's good and then there's people that are just like i like my friend that we were with on

saturday did that um tiktok video that was like bodies that look like this also look like this like making fun of that like trend yeah where it's like you already have like a six pack when i'm bloated after eating sometimes my pants are tighter it's just like what so then that shows like if you're if you don't look like that and they're insecure then you should also be insecure you know what i mean it's like sometime and that's obviously i'm just like speaking for my own experience but like I'll see those posts I'm just like what like you you think that that is fat oh I'll reflect on just like how unhealthy I was in college and like my early 20s in college I gained weight from drinking a lot and from my birth control made me super super bloated just

like i had such a round face so i was just not happy with how i looked but also like after that like just the extremes i would go to to try and like crash diet my way into like like i remember my freshman year of college i was like i'm gonna go on a liquid diet holy shit and i was only eating soup and drinking smoothies oh my god yeah and then i was counting calories and like also like i think i lost weight my freshman year of college from walking everywhere so the freshman 15 didn't exist for me it was just like walking everywhere and fucking eating soup i and i don't even know where i got that like i should do that but everything was focused on like having a little tummy and I have never had like I've literally never had abs the abs I have now are barely abs

and I worked very hard for the teeny tiny lines I have but also I didn't do that because I like I was like I'm gonna finally accomplish the body I want it was more like I have I am so sad um and i mean to have some sort of physical activity yeah that is challenging to like keep me motivated it's a good way to feel like you're in control of something because a lot of the reason that's exactly why i liked it a lot of people that um struggle with eating disorders not everybody but a lot of people do it because it's like the one thing that they can control in their day is how much food they're taking in and so like to have the opposite effect of like i'm really sad and i feel a little like chaotic i need to like exercise is like such a it's such

a good reason to exercise i don't know this is such a tough conversation to have because yeah we're kind of this was unplanned yeah it's like body dysmorphia eating disorder i think this definitely warrants like another episode dedicated to talking about like body dysmorphia and eating disorders because i didn't realize like how fucked up my mindset was at those age like developmental ages until now until i like more recently i'm reflecting on it like oh fuck that was like not a healthy way of thinking yeah or like treating my body yeah yeah i know it's in the moment it doesn't feel like it's like something bad you know because it's like no this is this is good for me and i'm going to be skinny and i'm going to be healthy and like it's like no like

hold on it's like not a good way to talk to yourself also like being skinny doesn't mean that you're healthy right yeah it's just talk about that doesn't say anything it's just yeah the out the outward appearance when I I've said this on the podcast before but like when I was like sick and like not eating I was getting all of these compliments on how I looked and that became an addiction for me I was like oh my god and then when I stopped getting them I took like another nose dive because I was like oh my god I need to stop eating again but I was sick when I was skinny so it's just like it's so my therapist this is like not a good example of this because we just had a little discussion about it but I was talking to my therapist about it and she was like what

happens if you just don't engage in those conversations she's like if somebody is like complimenting someone's body just don't say anything and see what happens and I was like okay but like that's not going to change anything because I'm still hearing it but once I stopped engaging in those conversations around me like oh my god so-and-so looks so good she like lost so much weight and i just don't say anything it actually helped a lot with my relationship with my own body not engaging in those conversations yeah i feel like we should throw a trigger warning in the beginning of this yeah in the beginning of this episode i wanted to also follow up on like a few things from the last couple of weeks um so it has come to my attention

that the girl who is slash was in love with mr liz is listening to the podcast amelia put her hand over her mouth in shock um i mr liz doesn't listen to the podcast because everything i say on here he's already heard yeah um so his one of his friends from his hometown listens to the podcast and she like hit him up and was like hey I want to listen to like this other girl's podcast where she's like talking shit about you and he's like okay hold on and he texted me and he's like hey uh what episode was that and then I like went to go pull it up and she deleted it she deleted the podcast from SoundCloud um and the only reason I can think that she did that is because she's listening and I want to clarify that she did not copy my hair

that was actually someone else yeah that was my bad i was getting my stories mixed up i was getting i was the one that called that out there's just so many people that want to look like if i were her i'd be like i didn't know i fucking didn't so you know girl i i see that you i know you did not copy my hair but the podcast thing was a little strange um but i i did re-listen because i don't want to be mean like i i don't have any personal beef with this right with this girl and like i wanted to make sure what i was saying was respectful and not like being and still like being um true to myself because like i i can't lie and say like these things didn't bother me so um i still stand by what i said yeah i mean you didn't say you really didn't say anything

no you were just telling the story yeah it's just this you know this podcast is about our lives right we're just gonna talk about how yeah but i i told mr liz i was like i did not think she'd be listening what did he say and he was like it's not surprising to me no and then i was like why would she be listening though like homegirls got her own life yeah and like she is dating someone else like she's not even spite listening maybe she just loves the podcast that that's true maybe she does love the podcast it is a great podcast I was thinking she's probably like hate listening and then I started thinking like we probably have hate listeners that we don't even know about oh I hope we do what who do you think would be hate listening for you but I feel like my ex

probably does from time to time do you think that his um new girlfriend yeah no I think that she couldn't give less shits about me honestly which is fine um i don't the thing i don't like her yeah for obvious reasons uh-huh but i don't like him more you know so like i don't really i feel like i don't really matter to her at all which is fine then that's good and that's a secure place to be i could be wrong maybe but it's a secure place to be so whatever good fucking good for her my ex um this was like the podcast was kind of like a final nail in the coffin for him so oh yeah i remember he was like he took it personally that your podcast is doing well you want to know why though because he had a podcast did he have a podcast oh my god no

i don't even know what the fuck that would be about um sorry how to cheat on your girlfriend with your ex get caught yeah still get caught how to get caught cheating on your girlfriend with your ex-girlfriend it's a long podcast i'll have to cut that down um he mentioned like we had connected this was like when we first started talking again um yeah because he slid back in in june and that's when we started the podcast so he had started um he like started following me on instagram again and like saw that i we had a podcast and he made a comment about it and he was like i know i probably shouldn't listen because it's like sex related so like i don't really want to know like know what you're doing and i was like yeah you probably shouldn't but

like you know if it's any consolation i don't talk about you because at that point i hadn't yeah um and then like the next day he was like oh okay i totally understand the next day he was pissed because the more and more he thought about it he was like just really upset that i was like publicly doing this he was upset about bachelor live on stage because i was like publicly doing that i'm like you're in a whole ass fucking relationship he was mad you're just like living your life yeah you're doing things that you couldn't do when he was dragging you down i'm like you're the one that didn't want to be with me if you're so pressed about it then fucking do something about it dude and i'm glad that he didn't because i was thinking today how

different my life would be if we never got back together if we got this podcast i don't think well i mean it would have fizzled out god that's so fucking sad to think about i'm glad to do it i know me too i don't even want to think about it me neither let's not bye say goodbye to that thought anyways this is just a little memo for our hate listeners you know i guess hey um thanks for listening hey i don't know i've like our hate listeners haven't gone out of their way to like be rude so shifting gears here the other topic i wanted to kind of like expand on a little bit we had briefly talked about over the weekend this is Amelia's third day in a row seeing me I'm surprised you haven't been just like bitch get out of my

apartment literally not at all um we were talking about so everyone knows or has everyone has discussions around like the friend zone and men who are friends with women specifically to wait to get out of the or like their goal is to like get you to like them but there's another dynamic that I don't feel like is discussed enough of like where they're not outwardly seeking dating you they don't say that they're in the friend zone or feel that way but you know you're the in control of your friendship with them like if you were the one to pursue a relationship with them they'd be like fuck yeah all on board you know so it's not like they're necessarily like nice guys waiting to be picked but i mean i guess that's kind of what it is i guess it's just not

it's not as obvious it's not as it's not like if you dated someone and they'd be like oh what i wasted all this time for you for what right they they don't do that they still like want to be your friend but if you were like hey i'm want to date you they'd be like hell yeah it's like gordo from lizzie mcguire yeah just waiting yeah around kind of secretly in love with you but like there to be your friend and this is the thing about that i one of the things i adore about mr liz is he has a lot of um friendships with women which initially like can cause a little bit of like discomfort because you're like oh what's like the motive here because we're all used to being around a bunch of fucking idiots that that are just kind of up to no good when you're not

around yep so i like was a little uneasy but then when i see him interacting with them and meet them myself i was i realized like mr liz is genuinely a friend to these women so there is no ulterior motive and like it'd be a scenario where if they were like hey i have feelings for you he'd be like um what i don't feel the same so that's always comforting to know too just like because because that's how we operate yeah in our friendships with with men of like if you know it's just a friendship it's it's how i would show up for any other friend like that i have so i don't know where where it gets messy is i've had friendships with guys in the past where it's been like a like a forbidden kind of thing you know but like we're both into each other but like it can't

happen and then when that like inevitably falls apart and gets messy you can't stay friends with them so like even if you become really really good friends with them and then that falls apart yeah you can't stay friends with them and like that's not like a rule of thumb you can't it's just like I when I like love somebody it's like game over you know what I mean because it like takes a lot so like I can't stay friends with them because of that so I think that I have this protective barrier up with my guy friends that I care about where like I I mean I care about all my guy friends but like my really close guy friends where I'm like we're not even gonna like entertain the idea of that happening I have one of my guy friends you know those like marriage

packs like if we're both single by 40 yeah i have one of those set up right now um and like we actively talk about our prenup and shit um and like in those situations it's like he is he's somebody that i would marry you know what i mean like it's not like a oh it's just it's him but you know but like the idea of like exploring that now like in like a relationship sense is like i don't want to risk the friendship you know yeah so i think that i'm like extra extra protective with my male friendships that makes sense in high school i was always that was i those were like my only guy friends were the ones waiting for me to date them god what a flex and believe it or not we are not friends yeah wow to this day spoiler alert yeah so um and that

always like it sucked the older i get thinking about it like those were most of my friendships in high school were these guys that i thought were funny and like i wanted to just hang out with them and do fun stuff and then inevitably inevitably they like confess their love for me and i'd be like you're a good friend yep thanks and then they'd be mad because you owe it to them yeah like i just don't feel the same way it's just it's so messy it's so messy i think that's just and and and thinking about it now too i'm like i was so ugly oh my god i just i just like had such a crazy i need to like dig up some old pictures i had such a crazy makeup routine like my thing was putting on a bold bright eye shadow and then black ends on that was such a

look at the time though and fallout from the eye shadow who cares it was still there it it was there yep that's yeah that's intentional um just a shit ton of eyeliner in and around my eyes that's it really was such a thing back in the day yeah cover your lips with like some concealer a little bit and then some lip gloss it's just so bad i used to only put eyeliner on my bottom lid i was one of those yeah and then me too um didn't know how to do eyeshadow just didn't thought that you curled your lashes after you put mascara on that was a rude awakening you don't no you can once it's dried yeah yeah but then if it's still wet it gets all over the place it's a fucking it's a mess yeah it's interesting to think about like the how much

makeup has changed even it's you know what's interesting is looking at what the kardashians were doing like 10 years ago because they were like yeah on top of it and they look ridiculous now you know also i'm getting sad just like thinking about how unfun becoming an adult woman is don't even get me started but it's just not fun no it's like guys get to like shave for the first time and like it's it just seems so much more fun and interesting and for girls it's like yeah so now um pedophiles are gonna start hitting on you and you're like i'm 11 and i don't understand what you're saying and then you and then you get your period yeah but you were excited weren't you to get your period i was until fucking maddie told everyone in my health class oh that's

right fucking maddie she's enemy of the pod numero dos is maddie um but yeah no i i was pretty fucking hyped to get my period but it was still a nightmare because i was in pain all the time and i didn't know what to do with it i was never happy man wow it really you know what do us a favor and and hug your local women give them just a hug they need it yeah we talked about tugging your bros in and giving them a kiss last week yeah hug consensually hug the women around you yeah just say i appreciate what you've been through ladies in your life i appreciate what you've been into we're really tired we received a listener email from um someone on our patreon and um i just wanted to read her message because it made me feel a lot better

and it's just it was a nice message to receive um and i have been receiving like more and more messages from women who are also struggling with high-risk hpv scares because it is scary and it's just nice to know that we're not alone so i'm really happy that everyone is using this as an opportunity like to not feel isolated and um to also like reach out to me and share how they're feeling and what their experience has been so far it's just nice to have a community around it because it is a hard thing to talk about they're isolating i'm sure um so this is for all of my hpv girlies listener story here to hopefully make you feel a little better i have had half of my cervix cut out during elite procedure same thing highest risk hpv in my early 30s and

i still got a surprise pregnancy about two years afterwards if that makes you your mom feel any better about the potential of having kids in the future side note i had my son at 35 which the doctors constantly are referred to as advanced maternal age lord but i joke to my friends it was a geriatric pregnancy i was laughing so hard when i read that anyway i also had several panic attacks when i was told i had pre-cancerous hpv totally normal to feel that way it's a scary thing even if it's hopefully easily resolved i haven't had an abnormal pap since the leap was done in 2016 so i guess my doctor did a good job cutting that shit out of me also the leap recovery wasn't bad at all for me i laid in bed for one day watching house hunters wasn't in much pain

or discomfort at all yay drugs here's hoping the same easy road to recovery for you thank you for being a great podcast i'm a huge fan and look forward to each new episode xoxo your geriatric millennial listener oh i love that it was like it was a really comforting email to read and as an update my doctor did follow up with me um because i asked her like what some next steps are and because she hadn't like followed reach out to me yet uh but i she wants me to do a leap procedure which is gonna be less intrusive god you didn't tell me that um it happened like yesterday that's awesome that's such great news and she wants me to go into the operating room and she said not because of the procedure but because um you'll be more comfortable and i was like i love that

these people know that i am a basket case but i followed up with her to ask if i could go under general anesthesia oh good just because i know myself well enough to know that if i am conscious for this i'm gonna like ruminate on it and i just don't want to have like an emotional attachment to something that is necessary for my health if that makes sense like i don't want to like mole on this totally so i just want to be unconscious for it yeah and then i want to wake up and be done yeah i wonder if they'll do that because a lot of the time because um anesthesia can be so risky oh really yeah they usually only give you anesthesia if you like really need it oh that's why they like don't put you under for like colonoscopies and endoscopies

maybe they'll give me some but maybe they'll give me two out of van i was gonna say you could give you like they give me out of van but i would like two this time just knowing the level of freak out i might have i'm so i'm glad that you get to do that instead of the cone yeah me too but if i did have to get a cone biopsy i would have to be put right i remember you saying that so that's just a little update there and then we do have a listener email that we recently received um the subject line is sex and shame hi amelia and liz um she says her names and her her pronouns are she her hers i want to start by saying how much i appreciate both of you and how candid you are on this podcast you are both so thoughtful in what you say and i truly feel like i'm sitting

there having conversations with my friends while listening to the podcast that's exactly what we want i discovered the pod through amelia's tiktoks and amelia was even kind enough to do a couple cameos for me when i was going through some hard times i oh now that i see your name i remember doing that oh good i'm so happy that that could have helped you uh i watch them when i'm feeling sad and they always make me feel so much better oh that's really really sweet i love you okay moving on i'm not gonna get not gonna get mushy i have recently started dating a man who i truly think is my soulmate he is kind patient understanding and he also goes to therapy which means so much to me as a woman who has dated many men who absolutely should be in therapy

real word i truly feel like there is nothing i can't tell him most of the time there is one thing that I am struggling with to talk about though we have recently gotten into choking spanking and some things that are a little spicier than what I have normally gone for and I love it in the moment I have crazy orgasms from them every time and then after we are done I am silently suffering from intense feelings of shame he always kisses me and snuggles me when we are done and tells me how much he loves me but it takes me a while to be able to make eye contact with him and I just feel really self-conscious for a while after we have sex I always feel dirty and used and not in a sexy way but I love it in the moment I go to a male therapist who is

wonderful but I feel weird talking to him about my sex life so I don't want to go to him with this and I know you're not therapists and I don't expect you to help me solve this problem but I'm curious if either of you have ever gone through something like this it doesn't make sense to me as I do love love it while it's happening maybe I'm making this more complicated than it needs to be I am notoriously hard on myself so I'm sure that doesn't help when it comes to my sex life um oh okay at the bottom she said even if the snow doesn't make it onto the pot i just want you to know how much i appreciate you i have just recently had my big epiphany where i began to truly love myself more than i ever have before and i'm positive

that you too and this podcast can oh my god stop contributed to it along with all the work i did and lexapro lexapro and malbutrin fuck yeah we love drugs thank you ladies from the bottom of my heart ah thank you so much for writing in holy first of all love you so much second of all yes i have gone through something similar yeah i'll let you oh yeah comment on it first um i think that it's normal that as i always say like as women but seriously being a girl being raised as a girl around sex like the introductions we have to sex it's no wonder that we feel ashamed about it and then when it comes to things like our own pleasure and enjoyment like it seems to me that this shame sure it does maybe come from like what you're actually doing um but it's also

because it is so pleasurable for you i think that there's probably something there about we you know as from a young age we're just like it's not about our pleasure it never is and then when it that's the thing i do love about bdsm and i was thinking about that recently is that it is so intertwined with women's pleasure yes it is focused on being pleasurably fulfilling for your partner like whatever end you're on so that's why it's so enjoyable it's because you get the focus like you get focus yeah and if you're having like you know your first sexual experiences are probably not going to be as fun i think it's more common that they're not going to be fun which is so sad to say like your first experience having sex is always going to be about

the other person and it's not about your pleasure yeah because young men are stupid as fuck facts yeah they're dumb maybe not maybe they're less dumb now but they were when i was a teenager every man that i know would agree with that statement yeah yeah i was a fucking idiot when i was yeah they're way better now even mr liz was a fucking idiot so i think like feeling ashamed after after having sex um especially if it's kinky sex i think that's so normal but i think another really important piece of this is like if this man if you believe he's your soulmate you need to talk to him about this for sure because that's like it clearly he is aware that aftercare is important and he is trying to give that to you and you need to like be able to

have an open discussion about what kind of aftercare you need and you can only start to open that can of worms like if you're going to address it with him like hey i struggle after we're done having sex because i feel like a blanket of shame and it i think no one's going to be able to help you through this more than he will because he's participating in it with you you know and clearly cares how you're feeling after yeah and it's also always nice to have that confirmation from your partner like someone that you love and loves you to just be able to have this open dialogue and know that you can trust them and not be afraid of what they're going to say because yeah he's going to support you no matter what yeah but if you also want to

get deep into this and pick apart your brain um start thinking about what about it makes you feel ashamed yeah um like is it the act is it like what what what like admit to yourself what is the narrative you're telling yourself here like oh i am a slut because i like these things that are spicy yeah um they're they're taboo and um what's wrong with being a slut what does that mean yeah if you do enjoy this what does that mean about you and then that's what once you start asking yourself those questions that's when you can get to the root of it and realize like those things that you've been taught aren't true yeah yeah um and it's not gonna go away overnight i mean maybe it will that'd be cool but don't be mad don't be mad at yourself if

it doesn't i agree with everything you just said obviously and you have experience with bdsm that i don't from an like a perspective of like um someone that's like dabbling um i think that this maybe has kind of a similar thing with like when you're like watching porn and then after you come it's like what the porn shame yeah it's like the post not clarity um of just like oh my god this was really hot to me like 10 seconds ago and now i'm like really like not feeling great about it it might be the same kind of thing i think that there's also a piece when you feel really really comfortable with someone and then you like dabble in something new with them that's like kinky and like putting you out of your comfort zone there might be some like i mean shame is like a great

word for it and like embarrassment maybe of like oh my god we were just like you were just like slapping me around 10 seconds ago and now we're like cuddling like it's shame's a huge motivator for a lot of feelings yeah like so many of the bad feelings you have in general and not even you specifically i mean every human so many of the bad feelings you have are so deeply rooted in shame and that was what my therapist and i talked about for like the first year of therapy shame oh yeah yeah and it's once you're able to confront that like um why you feel ashamed for something and that it is the root of so many bad feelings it it becomes so much easier to deal with because if we didn't experience the feeling of shame we'd be running wild yeah so in this

instance shame is not protecting you so it's that's why you need to start breaking it down because if this is someone that you trust and you love and loves you and is kind to you there there's nothing to be ashamed of you know right and like he like liz was saying clearly cares about how you're feeling afterward and like is putting like emphasis on aftercare and like he's doing that to make sure that you're feeling okay after all those interactions so like being able to i know that it's like that's such a difficult conversation to have like i feel how can you have the conversation like i love this and i feel shameful afterward like that's a difficult thing to balance but those drops as we've talked about before yeah are so common and like sub drop

biologically based because of brain chemistry so it's like you are you're not alone in feeling this it's just like figuring out how to navigate it is is the the piece of it and being able to talk to your partner about it who sounds fantastic and sounds like he really cares about how you're feeling I think is going to take away a lot of the power that it has too totally because you're probably this has been in your head and like every time it happens you're now expecting it to happen and so like it gives it all this power so just like I think once you start having that conversation it's just going to flow and you're going to feel better I highly recommend looking at the BDSM advice on reddit because um i you just reminded me like having a drop after like doing kinky stuff

is super common so if you look into like sub drops after um having sex or having kinky sex or something like it because your adrenaline is rushing and then you just have this like drop afterwards that's why aftercare is a thing so and doms need it too yeah it's probably maybe have a drop to him taking care of you might be him managing his own shame with it too you don't know and i think if you open up that conversation you'll probably learn a lot and he can't give you the aftercare you need if he doesn't know so that's why having an open conversation even if it is uncomfortable but you will realize like once you start talking about it you're gonna feel so much better um but this reminded me that i like the i struggled with having drops afterwards as

well at first like when we first started dating before we got as comfortable as we are with each other now so what you're experiencing is especially normal for what you are participating in yeah but the bdsm advice subreddit will be super helpful to just click around and explore um when it comes to looking into like drops and like what kind of aftercare might work for you the people on that subreddit are so smart and caring and kind they're very open-minded and like patient with each other it's just like a really great um type of people in that in that subreddit and i think you'll be able to find more like um more like hands-on advice of like things you could actually apply because you know we only know what you're experiencing based on your email but some

of the things you might come across will be more specific to what you're experiencing as well that like they'll have like actual advice of like oh here's what you can do because it works for me yeah you know yeah that's such a great resource to have not just like reading like this like indirect like for like article you know you like have a forum to have conversations on makes such a difference i love searching like just in general if i'm trying to find something specific i'll search whatever in google and then add reddit on the end and you'll find way more helpful advice and stuff that way yeah than just searching on google i love that that's a good pro tip um it is time for a sex fact of the week

thank you all right a strong sense of smell makes you more orgasmic a small study published in the archives of sexual behavior found that people with more perceptive noses also had better sexual experiences women who had a strong sensitivity to odor is also reported enjoying more orgasms than women's whose noses weren't as sharp the researchers found that sense of smell wasn't necessarily linked to sexual desire performance in the bedroom but there was a positive correlation between a heightened sense of smell and having more pleasurable sex as well as more frequent orgasms this suggests that body odors like vaginal fluids and sweat can enhance sexual experience interesting fascinating we are all just a pocket of flesh with a bunch of senses yeah that's weird

that's a weird description but it's am i wrong no all right well thanks for listening and we will see you beautiful angels next week we love you so much goodbye we love you our children you're not gonna harmonize with me today are you are you saying something well i know but like what you're just gonna leave me alone in the band we love you our children you're like i'm not arguing about this let's just fucking do it Beautiful. See? Amazing.