The Hoely Hour - E76 Fighting With My Appendage

Episode Date: March 4, 2022

We've talked about d*ck flexing before but Liz wants you to know she will attack you like a rabid cat. This week we feature three different listener emails: one involving an incredibly uncool response from a woman on a 2nd date, another about making a shower your personal urinal, and finally a listener asking for advice on how to navigate her partner's obsession. Plus this week's Sex Fact of the Week will have you wishing we were all asexually reproductive. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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$15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. New customer offer for initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. me slow when network is busy. See terms. Do you ever wish you were like a little girl riding a dog like a horse? Yes. welcome to the holy hour i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball before i forget follow us on instagram tiktok twitter at the holy hour send us your stories holy hour podcast at gmail.com my voice i was like about to cry holy hour please send us your email i love hearing from you um subscribe to us on patreon we are now down to one tier as of the day that we are

recording this um so uh yeah that's early early access to episodes ad free episodes anything else fun that we that we have for y'all that'll all be on that one tier eventually we'll go up to more than one tier multiple tiers um i was gonna make a crying joke there but i just don't have it in me today um but anyway those are those are the announcements we got him out of the way i'm feeling good amazing good let's all borrow our way in yeah i have a question for you today okay i love questions i love answering questions that you ask me specifically i love when you answer questions that i ask you specifically i love talking about myself i love hearing you talk about yourself that's why we have a podcast yeah well we're like a match made in heaven

i get to i get to tell you my thoughts unprompted you the listener just against your will at choosing to listen you know i just i can't imagine you don't know what i'm about to say no we're fucking unpredictable okay wait what's your question oh i was like at this point we're predictable because it's just never on on track um there are a bunch of songs that say something along the line of get your pussy right or get my pussy right and i was in a club i fucking hate clubs for my friend's birthday and i think it was a nikki minaj song said get my pussy right and multiple people came up to me like you have to talk about on the podcast what the fuck that means because nobody knows what do you think it means to get your pussy right i mean to hear the

whole it was just that over and over again there was literally no context at least in this specific song what about miss new booty when is that get it right get it right get it tight yeah get it right get it tight i have looked up on urban dictionary multiple times what that means i think it's an exercise thing right get your pussy right like make it you know like what does it mean if you were to guess i would if i were to guess get it right means hmm i would say like prepare for prepare to be entered you know prepare for battle prepare to be entered like you know make sure you did a little wash a little rinsy rinse um give her a haircut you know a nice little a high and tight uh-huh oh definitely high and

tight a little high and tight a little high and tight uh military cut uh for your punani and then punani that's a good one because we were saying last week there's only pussy oh yeah there's punani anyway continue uh and and uh maybe maybe play with it a little bit yeah okay warmer up get it right get that pussy right okay what would you what would you say i don't know i've thought about this endlessly i think i agree with you with lube i wonder how often people lube themselves up i don't yeah i wonder like do a little bit of like self-prep get this pussy right i think it's like make it feel good get this pussy right is that like doing like kegel exercises oh maybe it's a warm-up maybe a little warm-up yeah a little a little uh yeah

a little 20 minute hit exercise a kegel a pussy hit exercise hit that pussy clench clench clench release i don't know i that sounds like you're getting your get the little get the little balls yeah oh i watched something where someone got a kegel ball stuck in them it was on the real world yeah she couldn't get it out just push like you are gonna like she tried everything she tried everything and now i'm scared she tried to put a vacuum head up there suck it out no she probably didn't try everything she's listening she probably wishes you were there i'm innovative as fuck first of all no kidding um i i was gonna ask you did you know that when men's penises wiggle they're doing that you told me that i think we might have talked about it on podcast but we're on

fucking episode 76 so i can't remember every stupid thing i've said because i also cut half of it out you know what i think about all the time how like when people are like oh i've been catching up all weekend i'm like how much repeat shit have you heard yeah what have we said yeah what do you know give us a report card um there's a uh asmr not really asmr it feels weird calling it that like a erotic sound guy ever since um fucking charles manson um ended up getting married and having a baby word for word yeah it's that guy it's that guy that i think he copied from he started doing what's his name his name is um i want to give him credit because he's actually very good at what he does uh filth feel good filth is what it's called feel good filth he

has a patreon i have not paid money i might um but he's on the hub anyway he has started posting videos of himself like rather than just audio so he'll like post videos of himself kind of like podcasting while doing the audios and he'll do that thing with his dick and i had never seen it before then i had never once you've never seen it nobody i've ever been with has done it but i saw it and i was like oh that's what this was talking about when it's been done to me i take it as a threat it's threatening it's threatening me my family my aura don't flex your dick at me and pressure me to to do so i'm gonna take my time i have a strategy why did i do that is it just like come here for attention they're like now put it in your mouth and you're like i will

do what i want when i want and right now i'm gonna bat your dick around like a cat but basically they do ass kegels they do butthole kegels to make their dick do that oh that you see that makes sense yeah that makes a lot of sense because the prostate is back there so it makes sense that it would all kind of be a connected system machine anytime i if i ever see that again i'm gonna think i'm gonna be like y'all you're doing ass kegels right now so that's what i'm thinking about so if you don't want me to be thinking about that don't wave your dick at me yeah those are those are easy i have to say ask the idea of ask kegels while interesting does not particularly get me in the mood i just have questions that's

fair so if this is going to turn into q a and prepare for that you're gonna have a whole ted talk moment you're gonna stop in the middle of what you're doing i'll be like explain what's going on right yeah we gotta break this down and then i'm gonna start um a medium blog i think that's fair just breaking down dick science i i'd read it dick science that'll be your intro song yeah but it'll just be a blog but you just have like a little sound thing at the top dick science yeah down now that was that electric guitar like that i like that i think we could probably commission that out lightning bolts oh yeah that's i'm just seeing like dick science in like metallica letters yes and like lightning bullets on the side and then like the john cena

voice but it's yeah yeah yeah dick science whoever if you're listening to this and you make that kind of shit do it yeah we'll write the blog yeah i met a guy that prefers and there's no there's i'm not shaming him for this at all or anyone that has this he proudly exclaimed to the bar that i was in with him that he likes when vaginas have landing strips and that was such a specific thing to like I was shocked I've never heard anybody be like I would like a vagina to have a landing strip and it made me think about body hair patterns a lot I'm like because I know not everybody pays attention to them but to hear him so proudly and with his whole chest say that he wanted a landing strip shocking i think the thing that's shocking about it is it like you

said it's so specific because i every guy i've talked to about getting waxed like you know what do you think do you like care if there's hair or what and then they're always like no whatever like you want to do everybody i've talked to says the same yeah yeah and that's why most most guys are normal because i would say every guy except for one that i've been with is like yeah whatever you want to do i love that that's that's good guy energy hashtag gge good good job dudes for uh being good just this one time yeah good job dudes for this very specific example i don't fuck you for everything else um i have prepared three different emails for us to read today yeah um one of them's short well a couple of them are short but i think they will all be

fun little discussions love it so we received this email back in december so sorry we're just getting to it it just we're doing our best well also it's just kind of like we skip around topics a lot yeah and this one felt like a really good conversation because we didn't necessarily have anything fully baked out for today um and we just were our mail is piling up we need to address these emails so this email is titled in quotes sorry for making you have sex with me hey Liz and Amelia I've been listening for a few months now and it's clear you both work really hard to provide a genuinely well-rounded and curious perspective on the topics you choose I appreciate that a lot and I just wanted to say thanks for your work thanks we're not professionals

um this email is a bit long-winded just a heads up there so there's like two parts to this email because I read it already I just thought you might be interested in these few topics in response to the auto sexual portion of the ghost condoms episode I just wanted to report my experience as a straight cis male because I'm sure you don't hear enough from us already while I wouldn't describe myself as auto

sexual in the past couple of years I've discovered that sometimes it's just cool to see yourself masturbate and that can even be enough to get off during my last serious relationship I started recording myself for my partner and it kind of surprised me to realize I was getting just as excited sometimes more so making

these videos of myself as I was about as i was about seeing her responses maybe because it was something new i'm not really sure but i just really liked messaging with the angles or messing with the angles or the way i was moving my body or breathing trying to imagine what she would enjoy since then i've had a few partners that just weren't into sending nudes or recording themselves but the lack of reciprocity didn't change the fun of it for me they would always be excited and enthusiastic about receiving them which i think is that which i think is the part that's really exciting knowing that my pleasure is pleasing to someone else in in that way i think i defer from what liz was describing as

autosexuality because it involves a partner at least in some way i actually really like that like that's really interesting and like i like that perspective me too um anyway for anyone that's curious or is in a long distance relationship or maybe just bored i highly recommend obvious disclaimer is that it's crucial to have a consenting partner on the other end and preferably someone you really trust to own a bunch of your blackmail fuel also pro tip if you're in a long-term committed relationship it's great to keep these in a folder and use them periodically when you don't have time or privacy to do a full shoot and want to raise a spice level up a bit nudes on deck hell yeah i think about that often i respect the planning i respect this

man's plan yeah that's good that's good uh future uh future seeking is not the right word you know what i'm saying yeah forward thinking yeah you're doing your future self a service yeah and your future partner service or your partner service in the future okay continue in regards to the email subject this is more of a story time kind of thing regarding communication in the bedroom i recently experienced what i thought was a pretty unfair reaction to me losing my erection during sex and i'm hoping you can provide some insight from a woman's perspective for a situation like this for some background this was the morning after a second date after which we had sex and both uh and both orgasmed i 29 male woke up and said i had to get to work but had a nice morning

erection going so we decided to give it a go before i left she 32 female was getting pretty close to orgasm and i just kind of went soft it was i was definitely into it but i think hearing getting hearing her getting close made me a bit too excited and in my mental effort to not come first i may have overcompensated and lost my erection not my proudest moment but it happens typically in this situation i'd expect a partner to be bummed especially after she was so close to orgasm and maybe give me a bit of a playful ribbing before we got back into it in this case her immediate reaction was to exclaim what the fuck dude and after i explained what happened i felt her get really defensive and hostile almost like i did something wrong i think she may have thought

i came and was trying to play it off like i didn't which i explained was not the case but she doubled down on her reaction and said wow sorry for making you have sex with me this really caught me off guard because we had previously had extensive conversations about our sexual preferences likes and dislikes and it seemed like both of us were pretty emotionally mature when it came to sex i'm a pretty passive person so my immediate reaction was to try to calm the vibe down a level and assure her that it wasn't a problem with her it just happened sometimes but by then the sexual energy was completely gone and i even felt weird about being there at all we gave each other a half-hearted goodbye and she kind of apologized saying she was still drunk from the

night before i just said it was fine and left after our next date fell through i didn't really feel compelled to see her again it seems like the feeling is mutual because i haven't heard from her since over the next few days i couldn't really get it out of my head and was just trying to figure out how i could have handled it better i realized that her reaction basically just made me feel bad and that in trying to provide a calming energy to the situation i didn't allow myself to express how i truly felt in the moment i was now processing that hurt in the coming days but there was something in me that i wished i had expressed it to her so apart from just being plain and sensitive there's one really major reason this reaction was so problematic for me it suggests

that i didn't have any agency over my own decision making and that it was actually her who chose to have sex with me rather than us choosing to have sex with each other i really don't love that and i imagine the loss of agency especially sexual is something that women feel very often so to put a cherry on top of a shit sundae i am grateful to have a bit more understanding of what other people experience when there is a breakdown in mutual respect in the bedroom and i just want to acknowledge for myself and for others that it's okay to express your emotions to your partner and you're not really doing anyone any favors by ignoring them regardless of how casual or new your relationship is all in all the stakes were pretty low here and i'm sure people deal with

this type of thing all the time just thought it might be an interesting discussion for you all the best i have so many thoughts so i want to say fuck her yeah that's a really fucked up reaction yeah that is that is an ugly atrocious reaction i will say just like i don't want to defend her because that's a fucked up reaction but in her defense i think maybe part of that might have been her feeling embarrassed that maybe she was the reason that you lost your erection that's still like it doesn't it doesn't make sure response completely agree but like i've i know from the perspective of somebody that has slept with people who have gone soft like like frequently even me knowing like there are so many things that go into that

alcohol is one um anxiety certain drugs that you're on like prescription drugs that you're on a bunch of different shit can play into it and a lot of the time it doesn't have to do with your partner it's still kind of like oh okay like oh like could I have done something differently and like I am mature enough and like empathetic and I fucking hate that word millennials have ruined the word empathy but I'm empathetic enough to be like okay I need to not make this about me because this is clearly embarrassing for him in the situations that I've been in but I think a lot of people maybe don't have that same kind of like self-control of like not lashing out when they're embarrassed obviously i don't know the situation but like that might have been why regardless

super not okay it's really fucked up to make you feel insecure in that moment especially because it wasn't your fault and it also says nothing a lot of the time about anything that's happening in the situation it just happens yeah also like i would i would think that um when someone's like oh i'm getting close that puts a lot of pressure on you so you know of course like getting excited and then overcompensating trying to like calm down but then also like having the pressure to to perform is it's all gonna weigh down yeah so it makes sense right and i think that her reaction was completely out of line and i'm acceptable especially if you had already had a conversation where you trusted her enough to feel like oh we are on the same page about sex and maturity like

i trust this person and want to sleep with them yes so completely and her and even her saying like sorry i think i'm just still drunk like fuck that no that's stupid even if you're if even if you're still drunk that is not an okay reaction and she wasn't drunk enough the next day to be like not in control of what she's saying when you wake up drunk you're just kind of like just like a little busy yeah you know yeah like it's just not in a fucking excuse and she probably felt embarrassed for being embarrassed and lashing out like that because that's embarrassing that's categorically embarrassing to be immature like that but like it doesn't make it okay i just like i think it's tough for people with vaginas that exclusively have sex with people with penises

being like if we get like a little bit turned off we can still make sex work like with like lube or like we get like dry we can like still make sex work you know if you get soft that's kind of it and then like you get in your head about like getting hard again and that makes it so much worse yeah like it's like the process like you get in your head which is what like makes you lose your erection and then you're in your head about getting hard and then you like that pressure doesn't help and it's just like this like spiral snowball of like shit so like anybody that is having sex with someone with a penis and it's like in this situation just like a little bit of empathy like just like oh don't worry about it no pressure if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen

well and like a lot yeah like he was saying like i would just be like you know sometimes this happens yeah it's not a big fucking deal and he assumed that she was just gonna be like oh haha yeah all right let's which is what she let's try and like get back into it or like can i get you anything i don't know yeah like i can tell like there have been times where i could tell like the first time hooking up with someone that they have felt like nervous and pressured and i've been like we don't have to do this right and even i i wish people would say that to me like we don't have to do anything that you're not ready for comfortable with so agreed how would how would you handle a situation like this um i so i've been in a so if i were him i mean we've all been in a

situation like this i would say right do you mean like if i was in a situation like um someone losing their erection or like okay I so what I do when this does happen is so I was hooking up with someone Moscow I'm just gonna say it Moscow was I think because I was on a pedestal for him he couldn't he was in his head so so much and this isn't even me like making up the reason like he said this to me yeah yeah um that he just like couldn't stay hard and he was so frustrated about it and like what i would do would just be like it's really okay like let's like take a breath and just like hang out just like lay here and chat for like just relax you know because the pressure of like oh what can i do to like make you hard it's like that kind of like urgency is not

going to help anyone um and like this person is saying like removes your really like your agency in a lot of ways to be like okay let's like let's make this happen again because i need you to have sex with me right now well this girl could have just gotten herself off after he left it's not that big of a deal no like calm the fuck down it's really not that big of a deal um but yeah no i mean like i was dating a guy that was on um medication that would make it hard for him to stay hard um people with depression and anxiety can't stay hard so it's just like i'll just removing the pressure i'm fine if sex doesn't happen it's fucking fine yeah you know i'm like whatever i'm having a good time I had a good time for like the amount of time that it lasted I think there's also

like if you're you can also do other stuff yeah you know right if you're like oh well we were so into it like we don't have to lose the momentum like do you want to help me masturbate or right we could do something else yeah totally so and usually I feel like doing something like that like that like kind of gets things going again and then you can have sex so i don't know yeah you can make it fun yeah totally so if you don't want to be done you can still do other stuff what would you do would you have the same kind of um yeah i would have uh the same kind of reaction as you of like well and i think it also depends on the relationship i have with the other person like if it's someone else that i've hooked up with a lot you know in this case if it's my partner

yeah like this hasn't happened with me mr liz but knowing him i know he would be like oh well i can still like get you off or like you know we can like still do other stuff um because he's down like if i'm like it you know if i'm in the mood to like come yeah he's always he's always down to be like oh i'll like do you want me to like kiss on you or whatever so he's he's down to participate so i think like in a relationship like that's inevitably going to happen at some point so yeah just like you can still have a good time while not wanting to have sex totally and if you like lose interaction like it's not that big of a deal no you can stop if you're uncomfortable and if your partner is going to be a dick about it like yeah you have the agency to stop sex at

any time no matter what regardless this goes for everybody if you're not feeling comfortable or you're just like not into it anymore you have the right to just stop it it's awkward yeah and if they give you a hard time you can tase them you have my permission and you have my permission too you should assault them we are no i'm joking don't do that we are uh endorsing you punching them in the throat yeah or like um just throw them off their game and like blow raspberry on their belly like a little baby and just like make them really uncomfortable i think that's honestly used to be like you were making me uncomfortable so i thought i'd return the favor i can't imagine a better solution yeah that's that's a really good suggestion or like you know like do do

something weird like lick their ear or i guess that's still sensual lick their eyeball in their ear yeah spit in their ear there's a big loogie just like shove your finger up their nose and be like oh i thought we were making each other uncomfortable if that's not what you want then you shouldn't have made me uncomfortable yeah honestly simple math just throw them off their rhythm right and get them really angry i think no i think it's good advice at the bottom line just don't be a fucking dick don't make your partner feel like shit even if you're in the moment embarrassed or feeling a type of way just don't fucking do it the fact that she felt like it was okay to react that way to an essential stranger this is their second date like that's

just like a red flag to me like things aren't gonna get better from there yeah so it's good that it kind of fell off yeah it's good that she showed her true colors but also unfortunate hate it so i thought that was like a really interesting perspective yeah like because you don't hear about like a woman reacting that often though i'm sure it does happen yeah totally so thank you for sharing that with us so we were able to discuss it and you can give her this episode and be like you know what these two people i don't know said fuck you so that i could spit a loogie in your ear and put my finger up your nose yeah so when are we hanging out when are we hanging and now they're in love

this is another email what is that oh oh my god okay the subject line of this is the piss witness which i think i would like to change my name to that the piss witness yeah welcome to the holy hour i'm the piss witness i'm liz ball how do you how do you feel about that i want a nickname too okay you couldn't be um it needs to be right we don't have to make it up right now the pisser you're the pisser and i'm the piss witness you're gonna read this story i refuse i really love that you read these before i do okay all right hey amelia and liz i he him was listening to the pod and it got me thinking about my own dating escapades though few and far between i did unlock a memory from a time when i stayed over at a guy's house i've never shared this with anyone before

but i thought that this was the place to do so fuck yes yeah to the general public i love that to be read to anyone i can't imagine a better place honestly i had driven a couple hours to go out with this guy i'll call him logan we spent the day hiking having dinner and playing smash bros at his place honestly sounds like a perfect date the smash bros are gonna smash bro nice we're annoying i like that it was a great day and we ended up sleeping together in the morning logan asked if i wanted to shower with him naturally i said yes initially everything was fine we were doing the dance where one person is under the water while the other lathers and then you accidentally brush

up against each other as you switch spots um quick interjection that is the move um when you're really in a relationship it gets to the point where one of you is in the shower enjoying your your bathing ritual while the other one is waiting sitting on the toilet fucking freezing in the shower and you're like uh mr list will shower together sometimes i hate showering with people we only do it occasionally it's it's not convenient in my shower because in both of our showers the water doesn't stay hot long enough that we both can be in there so it's just always slippery and i love showering with mr liz because he lathers my hair and like scrubs me down love that yeah it's so nice when i have like shampoo or conditioner in my hair and he like gets his big hands fingers in

there and just like lathers my head it feels so nice and then he hugs me oh it's fair the first time we showered together it was in the summer and he like lit candles and we turned off all the lights i love that and then we took a shower and he made me feel so special and clean that was a that was after our third date our portland date i still can't believe y'all did that but now that i know both of you and know your relationship i can't understand it does make sense but in that moment i was like what thinking about it now i'm like we both seem a little unhinged like it was it was risky he could have murdered me at any it was risky but i didn't feel nervous about it no for you like i didn't i wasn't like i didn't

i didn't think it was gonna anyways okay we're gonna continue this initially everything was fine we were doing the dance where one person is under the water while the other lathers and then you accidentally brush up against each other as you switch spots i was scrubbing myself with body wash when sorry there's a typo it said body was i was scrubbing myself with body wash when i started to smell something i couldn't place it at first but it quickly became clear it smelled like pee i was confused his bathroom was kept really clean and i couldn't fathom where this smell would be coming from then i glanced down logan had his back to me but i could just see past him to the drain and i realized what he had done as the remaining streaks of yellow

swirled down the drain the smell faded unsure how i was supposed to handle this i pretended i didn't notice and we finished showering in relative silence i'm not crazy opposed to the idea of peeing in the shower i don't do it myself especially living in my own place i just never imagined that someone would be so brazen as to pee in the shower while someone else was in there with them we didn't end up going on another date but we stayed friends and i still hang out with him and his current boyfriend to this day anyways thanks for creating a space where i can finally open up about this strange memory in my dating life i love the podcast and can't wait to keep listening oh ah i think that's gross it's just unsanitary it's super gross also just don't

So brazenly, just like someone that you have like just gone on a date with. You like don't know them that well. Yeah. And you're just going to like, sure, pee in front of them. Okay. Interesting. Pee in the water that they're standing in. Yes.

In the shower. With a stranger. Not today. That's. Not tomorrow. I. Not next week. I would block their number.

Me too. so like you're a better person than me i guess because i would straight up block this guy's number it's just gross and the smell of pee is so gross like it's just everything about this is gross yeah i have no issue you know it's a natural thing but like pee before you get in the shower or pee after the shower there are two options there you took neither of them it's just you peed how how at the foot of your lever and there's there's no like it's not that it clearly wasn't that urgent right you are in a bathroom sir you're already you're already in the place you need to be in there are just so many ways that this could have been handled better if you truly couldn't

hold it just make a joke about it a man peeing in the shower also you know he doesn't clean that shower oh hell no oh my god i i just think if you're gonna be like that gross you're not like coming in there and cloroxing it down i scrub my toilet every week me too god you have to yeah you know that man's not doing that if he's peeing in the shower remember um french press's bathroom smells like pee i think about that often yeah i forgot you just unlocked a memory i forgot about i we took this out of that episode i was talking okay so it was like what episode three this guy amelia and i had both gone on a date with i never met him actually oh well you were you were supposed to be like i met him several times his bathroom smelled like urine it just

straight up smelled like a men's locker room that's so fucking gross yeah that's so gross and i took it out of the episode because it felt a little too mean and it's good that you did because he listened and he group texted us yeah like well clean your fucking bathroom floors i don't care that they're black it still smells awful there's something very sexy about a man who has a good smelling bathroom i don't know what it is it it ups them a few points in my mind a good smelling bathroom my co-worker my old co-worker that i talked about a few weeks ago that i hooked up with eventually um he had me go into his bathroom for something like before we had had sex and um i walked in there and it smelled it was like he had like a kind of like

a musky like air diffuser going in there and it was a super sparkling clean and his drawers were organized and i was like i'm gonna fuck this guy anyway it took like a year but i did there you just reminded me there was this guy that i was like kind of talking to and it was clear that we like were into each other but we never hooked up we never kissed nothing but i stayed the night in his bed and he didn't make a move i've wow yeah had a few of those but you just reminded me that his bathroom was almost like serial killer spotless i i was both impressed and afraid somebody died in here and his room was so nice too and i was just like it's so hot when men are clean and have like good taste in in aesthetic and decor like you want to have a comfortable and well

decorated space uh chef there's truly nothing sexier like i just want to know so my my thought process as to like i'm like showing my cards here this i might remove this to like living my life and the kind of person I want to be I'm like what if I did it all like what if I had a nice home and I was a good person and I'm hot you can do it that's such a good combination it's a great combination and what's like being a good person and being hot hell yeah why can't everyone do that truly I think about that all the time there are so many guys that I know that are like so fucking hot and they're just shitty fucking people and I'm like you would be unbeatable if you were a good person oh my god beat if you're hot work on being a good person

you'll get so much tail bro if you're already a good person i feel like there's like there's some some shortcuts to be to becoming hot too you know confidence confidence yeah oh a new glass sell your soul to satan yeah easy easy way to being hot i have them on speed dial not sure if you get to still be a good person if i sold my soul to satan i'd be like yeah fuck it all bets are off you know i would i think me and satan he's listening like uh uh-huh yeah he's like no she right she does have she actually has my old number so i need to give her my new number that's what he's saying right now there's just so many tricks to being hot and number one is confidence and to quote uh the famous maddie

perez um no one knows if confidence is real or not damn so just so fucking true so who who cares to fake it till you make it kind of moment yeah our our queen our savior maddie perez love you bitch oh she's the best so our next email um is titled boundaries and the writer or the listener writes me and my significant other have been together for well over 10 years we're both changed and adapted we've both changed and adapted together very well over the years and care very much for each other however he has a kink that makes me super uncomfortable he is pretty much obsessed with anal and other butt stuff of the like though i do enjoy play sometimes i do not like full-blown anal it hurts and makes me feel bad afterwards he is convinced that we can move

slow and work up to it so it doesn't hurt and so i don't feel bad about doing it being raised christian might have something to do with it to be honest i love him so much and i want him to make me happy but i just don't know what i should do should i keep going and give it a shot like he wants or stand my ground how do you both handle your partner's kinks so when i read this i was like well my partner's kinks are your kinks yeah they don't involve anything against my consent like if i'm not consenting to doing something he doesn't want to do it yeah and he's not going to pressure me into doing something like if this guy the he needs to get over it honestly that's my tough that's my tough love advice you know i i don't know your relationship i only have this

email um so while i'm sure you love him and he's a great guy he needs to like be what a lot more considerate in this perspective like if you don't want to do anal you don't have to fucking do anal he can get a butthole fleshlight they have that that exists we did an episode about it you know what's a little fucked and i don't know if this is the case with him but i know it's the case for other people is knowing that he can't have it probably makes him want it more and so it's like if it happened he would probably be fucking bored with it which is i'm not saying that you should do it 100 no if you're not comfortable but that's just like kind of bugs me about people that are like but just try it because it's like what if I fucking like what

if we do it and then you're like man never mind and then I push myself to do something I'm uncomfortable with and neither of us are happy well if it hurts and you feel bad those are two very good reasons yeah those are don't don't do anything you're not comfortable with yeah and if you want to like I think I also think it's worth like thinking more about why you like feel bad about it just just for your own like sense of peace totally to be able to confront those feelings that's kind of my thoughts and yeah you don't have to work up to like anal if that's not something you want to do no then don't does he i don't know if there's not um there's not anything in here about if he likes receiving too but like i don't know if you've explored that maybe he would

like to receive yeah maybe he maybe he wants to be pegged get you a strap on hell yeah but like i guess there's no advice of how to like um navigate this outside of just like you should feel justified and valid and not being uncomfortable with what you're uncomfortable with yeah like yeah that's if that is just like a very human thing and like you doing something that you're not comfortable with is never it's like until you are comfortable with it which is possible there is a possibility that you will be able to like eventually be okay with this but until that point if that point ever happens it's not going to be enjoyable for you period and it shouldn't be enjoyable for him either if he keeps pressuring you you're not going it's not going to be enjoyable

for you correct if you're just like doing all this for him none of it is a payoff for you like i don't know i just it doesn't seem like um there's a level playing field in this right in the situation like it doesn't seem very fair no um and if you've been together for over 10 years you probably have a lot of like um like a lot of really good communication between each other yeah most likely so that should be a lot easier to be able to like stand your ground and also like the number one thing with the kink community and having kinks is consent yes and you're not consenting so yeah that's the only reason you need is you just you don't want to and you don't like it yes you don't need any other reason amen so get you a strap on and if he keeps fucking coming at

you say you first bitch come come out with it on and say you first bitch you should just have us there we'll hang out in the bedroom oh can i can i plug something oh speaking of butt butt plug can i do a butt plug uh-huh um i was in a film feature uh three years ago that is now available for um pre buy what do what do they call that on apple pre-save pre-save pre-sale i don't know who fucking knows anyway it's called win a trip to brown town brown town being a butthole um it's just win a trip to brown town that's not that wasn't the whole title um and uh if we get like a lot of pre-sales on it then uh we get distributed to like netflix and shit so if you're interested in seeing me act in a thing it's like a low budget local film thing but it's really fun

and everyone that made it was really passionate explain the give us a little summary give us a little plot line here we are give us the imdb baby oh my god okay so it's about um this man frank frank see us who um his wife makes a bet with him that if he can lose 50 pounds in i think two months is the time frame she'll uh let him put it in her butt that's the bet and so the film is him basically training to lose all this weight so that he can put it in her butt and it's so funny because the director is church going he's been with his high school sweetheart for forever he has two kids like you would never expect him to write a film like this and he's in it he's he plays the main character and he actually loses 50 pounds throughout the whole thing um part of me is

like did he is this based on real life so at the beginning it's like this is dedicated to my wife who wants you to know that this is definitely not a true story but who knows that's really funny but like it's just he's so fucking passionate like it was so fun to come to set and just like be there with somebody that was just like living his dream of making a movie you know because he like went to film school and he was like finally doing this anyway if you're interested zero presh it's on apple that reminded me of um so Amelia and I went and saw Chris Redd's stand-up and it reminded me of one of his jokes where he like he was like talking about Utah because he had to do a show in Utah and he called one of his friends and he's like what are the people like there because like

you don't know what like the people are gonna be like in a new area if they're gonna like your jokes and then um he said a Mormon comedian picked him up which like those two words don't belong together in my opinion yeah but he said a mormon comedian picked him up and like said something like oh they can't have sex before marriage and he was like damn that sucks and then he's like but god never said anything about anal and then he's like what fucking god do you have and then he was like i don't know they're just having a bunch of butt sex in utah like i just it was so funny yeah his stand-up was so good he's so fucking funny if y'all haven't heard any of it he's on snl so if you watch snl you know who chris redd is if you don't watch snl

please watch some of his stand-up on youtube his stand-up's so fucking good funny i i was like crying laughing the entire time yeah and i've seen quite a handful of comedians and um the the only two that have made me laugh that hard like consistently are chris red and um nick kroll wow nick kroll stand up phenomenal wow i almost cried because i just am in love with him yeah that's fair but that's anyways and chris went a trip to brown town yeah hell yeah yes wow there are so many good plugs here wrap it up um oh we don't have to wrap it up i was trying that's what i meant i heard you yeah wrap it up let's fucking no i know i was trying to wrap i knew what you with the the plug anyways i'll stop talking no it's great i love when you talk um i don't

oh well i mean that was kind of i was just about to talk in circles so we can actually wrap that up uh this is our sex fact of the week that was see i i'm back on board i wasn't feeling the school spirit for a few weeks so i wasn't feeling the school i don't know i was just like i'm not i can't harmonize lately well that was beautiful honestly i'm i am inspired all right here's our sex fact flatworms fence with their sex organs that's what i laughed at wait they fight like i'll read it flatworms flatworms are among the simplest invertebrate animals on earth lacking well-defined circulatory and respiratory organs and eating and pooping via the same body opening which are fun facts in themselves but all bets are off during mating season that's just like

every uh american government official hey nice oh that was actually very very funny thank you um the hermaphroditic is how you say hermaphrodite creatures i'm just gonna shorten it the hermaphrodite critters which possess male and female sex organs sprout pairs of dagger-like appendages and fence in slow motion until a hit is scored straight into the other skin the loser is impregnated with sperm and becomes the mother while the father often goes on dueling until it becomes a mother itself further complicating the confused gender roles my mom has always said she's like i wonder what life would be like if you never knew which partner was gonna get pregnant when you i need to tell her that exists and i like that they fight about it because no one fucking wants

to be pregnant no one wants to be the one to to give birth and what about they just go on doing this until one of until it gets pregnant itself and yeah it's just like the jigs up and looking at the pictures they look like little pieces of like old bacon yeah just kind of in like fighting position yeah it's it's two pieces of bacon with boxing gloves going like hey stick them up you know what i want to do is before the this episode comes up i want to put this on our story with no context just none describe what's happening here yeah yeah that's true we should do that good idea caption caption this what do you think's happening here yeah and now that you're listening you'll know what this picture was about um they're fighting to see

who becomes the mom fuck that i i would like that to be the case yeah and i wonder um what gender roles would look like if that were the case wow to be a flatworm to be a flatworm fighting with my appendage my dagger like appendage that might be the title fighting with my appendage it's a good title i would be like what the fuck is this about now you know and that's why i title things the way i do that's good wow like what the literal fuck is this have to listen just so i know i my goal is to make every single person think what the literal fuck yeah when they look at the episode titles hell yeah i want you to have no idea what you're getting into you could read the description and the description is so well written i hope y'all

read the descriptions liz kills it on the descriptions i laugh sometimes i'll read old descriptions and i'm like i wrote that i don't i have no recollection they're all so good i just like deep in the throes of prozac not remembering anything damn that's why i like prozac yeah no i'm kidding you surprise yourself yeah i just like to not remember anything oh i am kind of funny um all right well thanks for listening liz and i are recording tomorrow yeah you'll we we're going on vacations yeah you'll hear us a week from now we'll hear each other tomorrow so because we're both going on vacation anyway we love we love you our children how did we fucking hit it on the first fucking girl hitting it hit it hit it hit it get it right

get it tight it's a good callback