The Hoely Hour - E80 Chad Thunderc*ck

Episode Date: April 1, 2022

We invented a new game: Hot or Ick? The game where you debate if something is attractive or cringe! Have you heard of semen retention? According to Chad Thunderc*ck, you'll get superpowers (but your ego may remain delicate). It's a terrible day to be a chronic ejaculator, After our Sex Fact of the Week, you'll leave this episode wondering: "What the f*ck even IS a kangaroo?"  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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May slow when network is busy. See terms. Yeah, yeah, yeah, kuh, kuh, brah, doo, doo, doo. welcome to the holy hour i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball I remembered my laptop this time. We're off to a good start. Yes. We are.

Great start. We are off to a good start, even though I'm having a bit of a Monday. You are. I am. I don't really know why, though. Everyone deserves a bit of a Monday. That's true. You know, it just happens sometimes.

There's nothing in particular that's, like, really Monday about today, but I'm having one. I think the thing that was very Monday about today is the weather. Oh. It was very blah. It was. And yesterday was nice. Yesterday was so nice, and you're like, ah. Yeah.

It's spring. yeah seattle blesses us with like really random like they're like you get two hours of sun and then like the population of seattle triples and then it just starts raining again bless us all they're like fuck you yeah suckers this is what you could have but you chose seattle bitches um i want to start off with something that we were texting about yesterday uh because yesterday was the oscars oh and as all of you know um will smith smacked chris rock just right in the fucking face yeah right in the fotch right in the fotch uh and i i've been seeing a lot of different takes online but i want the debate i'm seeing and that i'm going to propose

to you and our audience was it was it like cringe that Will Smith did that did it give you the ick or was it hot was it hot husband behavior I have a lot of I have a lot of thoughts about this because I could argue both sides too I think it is both I think that it is cringe from the perspective of how consistently embarrassing Will Smith is like in how Jada talks about him like she's said that he's bad in bed yeah see i don't know any of this she said she's cheated on him with one of jayden's friends her son her son's friend yeah um that is predatory in my opinion but i do think it's hot from the perspective of like men defending their woman is always very hot to me like i i love when dudes are like in my corner no matter what

you know but like settle it at the after party you know like running on stage at the i think he has every right to be upset um i don't think that resorting to like that like running on stage at the oscars is like the best way to manage but i feel like he kind of like punched him at an after party assault is never okay but if he needed to punch him like maybe not on stage he didn't even punch him he open hand smacked him yeah which is more embarrassing for chris rock honestly just like literally a bitch slap you slapped the face right off his head i was thinking like okay if a man was hitting on me and mr liz did that i would be so embarrassed i'd be like it's not that big of a deal like some guy's flirting with me he maybe he didn't know i was

in a relationship it's you don't need to do this right but if someone was like saying something like deeply offensive and he just smacked them it's kind of like um in parks and rec when ben punches someone who calls leslie a bitch you haven't seen that you have you not seen parks and rec i've watched a little bit of it when my brother's home but i don't like i haven't watched a lot of it oh my god no i'm shook i know i'm really missing out on a big cultural moment you really are i don't now i'm like questioning everything and like the office too it's the same kind of thing you haven't seen them i know you heard it here first folks well i know there's just this moment where ben punches this guy in the face and and leslie's like that's so hot

yeah i think it's different like an insult versus just being like so insecure that you like have to be hyper masculine and make up for it i saw someone on tiktok like kind of grasping at straws saying that like they think that will this is a move by will smith to like a run for office at some point because donald trump has set up this expectation and i don't know like sort of acceptance that celebrities can do these types of things and still have a political position so listen will smith and kim kardashian are gonna run for office you heard it here first like just anytime anybody does any big like moment like publicity moment donald trump has ruined publicity stunts for everyone

oh god yeah i would love to hear what y'all think i mean there are so many layers to this that um i don't think either of us could ever understand yeah is it ick or is it hot we gotta know is it Iker is a hot. Ooh, that should be a new segment. Iker hot? Yeah. I love that. Iker hot.

I could think of so many things for that. Okay, cool. New segment. I'll come up with a song for it. Iker hot. Ick or hot. Ick or hot. Ick or hot.

Ick, ick or hot. I forgot to do this again. Liz is dropping this in at the beginning of the episode. Follow us on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, at The Holy Hour. Email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com. subscribe to us on patreon for early access to add free episodes and join our discord it's cute as fuck and i'm not just saying that yeah it's a fun fucking cute it's a fun place to be really fun place to be i recently was listening to a podcast where they drop their own socials

we do that love that idea um on twitter i'm liz t ball because liz ball so hard and liz ball are taken by two people who don't fucking use it and then instagram is liz ball so hard tiktok is liz ball so hard fuck yeah mine's adamelia samson on everything all one word i'm jealous i want that branding i want that branding um should we like take the person out that owns those handles you want i'll take their kneecaps yeah okay oh i just thought you meant take their handle and i was like oh right no violence no but will smith no violence we're taking a note from you and we're i'm stopping hitting people now because of willis this is the moment that we turn around i've never slapped anyone in my life so i have another i know i sent this to you on twitter but we need to have a full

discussion about this i'm so i don't know we send so much shit on twitter i know uh i sent it last week liz and i are literally constantly in contact y'all we're in constant contact on multiple platforms and that's why we could never break up there would be a big hole yeah i would be like no okay so i sent amelia this tweet and it's it's not viral or anything oh and this woman tweeted never dating a man who doesn't practice semen retention again the difference between the two types of men is remarkable and extremely noticeable one is a lot weaker so semen retention she basically just means like a man who does not masturbate and like consciously practices not coming which as we've discussed physically is not safe wait is she saying that guys that don't

masturbate are better yes practicing semen retention is is the phrase she's using and then the comments are insane they're fucking insane um so when i saw this i retweeted it and i said this girl boss found a new way to close the orgasm gap and then we're closing it just means men have no orgasms uh so she follows up and she says semen retention man focused on self-development not a time waster a lot more masculine chronic ejaculator weak lack of energy also quite feminine chronic ejaculator fellas is it gay to have an orgasm fellas is it gay to touch your own dick is it i want chronic ejaculator to be on my yeah so if you want to be more feminine ladies uh masturbate more you heard it here apparently

yeah i'm just like this is like not scientifically based at all this is just like pure conjecture of like oh if you have more cum inside of you but you can like constantly produce semen it does not make any sense she's she is trying to explain away bad behavior in a way that uh like removes her from the equation so and then this one is hilarious but if he lives in the same house as you probably you will gonna have sex every day how can he practice semen retention successfully and I'm just like you think you're going to have sex every day if you're

married? My guy, I'm so sorry to tell you this. Is that an NFT monkey too? It looks like an NFT but it's not a monkey. Oh, okay. Oh, no, it's a fucking what the fuck? Okay, never mind. That is

an absurd take and a poor sentence structure. And then... they're talking about like uh your like heart chakra keeping you from having an orgasm what i just wait hold on is this this is this satire no it's it's serious so there's this subreddit called no fap do you know what fap is yeah i think yeah i you know i never know who knows what so um they just believe insane shit like you're gonna get superpowers from not masturbating and i wanted to look up that too while we're here but let me scroll through some of these comments

okay please do i'm i'm because i was like i was like there has to be people in the comments that are like are you fucking joking but most of the comments are like how do i do this wait um may i ask how you plan on finding out if a man practices semen retention without dating him and then this guy replies you can just tell i radiate different from 99.99 percent of men i'm going to die and then said and then someone replied semen retention doesn't help with insecurities apparently and then this guy tries to make fun of how the guy looks and i'm like you're just like you're proving him right you're insecure that you have to like criticize this guy's like picture and he just he's just a normal dude semen retention this is this is this is just a

complete lack of understanding of how this is really funny read it i've swallowed every nut i've ever busted i'm 100 semen neutral i'm the most masculine man on the planet i have to stay 50 feet from women at all times because of the sheer volume of aerosol testosterone in my body odor is so disruptive the female endocrine system so disruptive to the female endocrine system i'm dead i don't i mean like like you said the body's always producing semen people just didn't pay attention in health class but it doesn't make any it it doesn't make any sense like what do you gain by believing this i wonder i don't know we need to look up this subreddit because i need to see yeah what these people are fucking saying i did for real for real no fab mr liz told me about

the subreddit uh it has almost a million members jesus 632 of them are online now the rest of them are masturbating i mean it's just like to stop porn addiction which i get i do think porn like porn addiction is harmful because it's not realistic and it kind of creates this idea of sex that isn't like it's very objectifying and i don't know yeah i know a guy while you're reading this i know a guy who does not watch porn and because he thinks it's objectifying but he objectifies women more than anyone i know period so i'm like i wonder if some people are just he saves nudes that he has received from women in the past that he doesn't talk to anymore and he uses those to masturbate

and that's not better uh-uh that is actually worse i would argue agreed because they're not opting into it like a lot of porn stars are porn stars are opting into it they're getting paid i'm operating under the idea that porn stars want to be porn stars yes so and they they get paid to be porn stars are you paying these women every time you fucking jack off to them and then just like the shit that he'll say to me about like girls that he's dating i'm just like it's just not but then he's like yeah but like you know like porn just gives you like an unrealistic expectation of what sex is like i'm like but this you're just like robbing peter to pay paul here you know what i mean yeah this is all this is all bad behavior no matter how you spin it like do you have an

imagination use it um him and i got in a big fight and he had like told because i had hooked up with him and he told one of the girls that um he was dating about our history and like about like everything that we had done and i found and he told me that you know nothing wrong with it he saw nothing wrong with it why i have i know i have no words because i have so many words it's just like i completely agree that porn like porn addictions are like horrible and they and they're really harmful and then there are also people that like are just going to be shit bags either way so like why like blaming porn for being an asshole is like the easy way out you know what i mean yeah it's just like like okay then what so if you think porn is harmful then explain how what you're doing

is better yeah yeah how is that ethical in any fucking way it's not like just watch ethical porn yeah yeah his therapist is trying to get him to do that his therapist sucks it's kind of like being a therapist to me is kind of like being a parent yeah like sure yeah you can go do it but some of you shouldn't yeah some of y'all should not be therapists amen and i think that's also scary because when you're looking for a therapist you are looking for someone to help you so much yes yeah and you're trusting them and some therapists are fucking nuts and then the rapport building phase of finding a therapist is the most painful phase so it's like once you get through that even if you realize that that person isn't like a good

therapist for you a lot of people will still go to that therapist and that sucks yeah it has to be more accessible to find a therapist it just has to be i feel really lucky that i found mine oh my god me too i'm gonna be possibly controversial here uh-oh this uh so i sorted by top posts of all time and this is the second post so it's a chad trying to save a kid's life and it's a screenshot from porn hub comments and someone said i'm 13 and i have premium and then someone named chad thundercock commented take some advice from someone a bit older than you get out while you can porn can and will ruin your perception of sexual intimacy and it'll take a long time to recover i personally have had problems getting it up with a girlfriend as a result of my porn

addiction don't be like me i honestly kind of agree with that that's like not bad advice no wow yeah should we subscribe to this is that how you talk in reddit terms um i think subscribe to this forum do i sound like a redditor i don't i only like lurk occasionally i don't look very often i've given it a good a good try what's the worst entry you've gotten from jacking off someone said depression there's also our semen retention no fucking way this is an actual this is a thing yeah instead of just like jerking off they can go do something else it's like but the but the way they go about it mentally is very strange um it's it's just like doing all this extra shit in your head instead of just facing the problem which is okay why

am i objectifying women and um what does this say about me how did i get to this point like doing the leg work instead of just like i'm never gonna masturbate yeah i'm never gonna have an orgasm this is the issue with any sort of like thought process about like how to manage like anything in your life to like make it less extreme is that there are always going to be people that take it too far yeah and that's like and i think just like being on the internet i don't know if it's like these people it just becomes more widespread or these people just have a place to talk about it i think that that's it and also like people are looking for a place to belong and that's like why incel culture is so rabid is like that's a good word right to use

rabid that feels right like speaking of which did you see that um there are some like in in a law now incels are considered like terroristic threats good yeah which i think is hilarious and very true yeah i agree but anyway um but i do i think that people just tend to take it to the nth degree on things that otherwise wouldn't have been deemed extreme like like you can go to the gym and go to therapy and masturbate i do all those things and i feel great i go to therapy and masturbate i don't go to the gym you don't have time yeah or floor okay so i was trying to look at ways to work out at home no floor space and i'm standing i'm standing by that i think you could do it in here you think so yeah meows doesn't let me do anything in here this is her

bedroom this is her room yeah i'm surprised she's leaving us alone as long as she does when we're recording anyway keep masturbating semen retention doesn't do anything for you we're not doctors but we do have common sense i love learning about things that i didn't know about before but i regret learning about that one like i've never been like i'm gonna challenge myself to stop masturbating because if i like i guess it's not a distraction to me though so when i was a kid not kid that sounds extreme when i was in i remember in eighth grade um we were learning we were in health class and we had the opportunity to ask questions anonymously and yeah and I was really concerned then that I had a masturbation addiction and like the the qualifier that they

I asked the question I'm like is it possible to be addicted to masturbating and my health teacher was like I for sure would have thought a man a boy asked that oh for sure for sure and what she said was um yes but only like it's only considered an addiction if it starts interfering with your life and that was obviously like a very dumbed down version for eighth graders and i was like is it interfering with that i've spent a lot of my life thinking that i was i never would have thought about that as a young person i had so much shame about masturbating i wonder if have you talked to your therapist about that you don't know i don't now i'm like fuck it if i need to masturbate four times a day i don't even i'm like trying to remember if i like knew what masturbation was

at in eighth grade i think i figured it out i can't remember i think i was like 11 when i figured it out in sixth grade i was like what is a blow job and when someone told me i was very confused it's like they were like it's when you put someone's penis in your mouth and then i was like and obviously there's more to it than that but i was just like what are you telling me right yeah i don't is that a joke and you just it's not very funny yeah um my sixth grade boyfriend convinced me and i think he was also i don't think he was fucking around with me i think he actually believed this that you could get pregnant he he had heard a story about a woman that got pregnant from eating a sperm burger sperm burger sperm burger and that that's definitely someone's older

brother like fucking with them for sure but he was like yeah i mean like i bet he didn't read the story i bet someone told him that and today we could find it on snopes the dude look that i was about to say he did he look like a sperm burger it's such a good sperm burger such a good insult you fucking sperm burger his name was julian he was so hot julian sperm burger he used to do the thing he would see me across i went to camp with him day camp so i know twin spring farm day camp what up he would see me across i was obsessed with him for years and then he was my boyfriend for like a couple of months wow he would look at me from across the uh the parking lot and do like the that thing and i had no idea what it was no idea what it was but i was like

looks like he likes me and then i got older for those who are not seeing the video it's like it's eating out the eating out symbol with like the the international symbol for eating pussy yeah that one we were in sixth grade like looking back on that i'm like who the fuck was teaching this kid all this shit did he have an older sibling i don't he must have or cousin or something probably he's one of those kids that like grew up too fast like i feel like he started smoking cigarettes at like 11 but i definitely feel like i saw people do that and they didn't know what it meant julian definitely did i wonder what he's up to he follows me on instagram so he has a baby now good for him yeah but i wonder if he listens to this what's up julian you um

scared me but uh you taught me a lot so bless your heart now i have a sex podcast you are not an enemy um you're you're part of the reason amelia is here today yeah you're part of the reason i thought i had a masturbation addiction i'm sure it's all connected and we know what uh eating out looks like universal symbol yeah um speaking of smoking cigarettes this was my the thing i wanted to interject about it's been on my list for a while but it just resurfaced i saw this video of post malone my god what are you about to tell me talking to a kid with autism uh-huh and it was the sweetest purest video i have ever seen this kid was like his biggest fan he like introduced him as austin he was like hi i'm austin and said like post malone

you know what i mean and like he was just like so he just like i every time i see a video of Post Malone I get more and more attracted to him and then I'll see a picture of him I'll see a picture of him because he's not like traditionally he doesn't give me a lady boner he doesn't just watch like three interviews with him you'll see his face differently I'm convinced this goes back to what we were saying last week about like if you're a good person you're hotter yeah he has gone up about 50 hot points in my book I'm in love with him I you've killed me you sold me I i know what i'm gonna be doing tonight masturbating to post malone interviews just kidding our minds both went to that no but really he's just like so fucking hot so he's like a new a

new celeb crush i've realized all of my tasted men have gotten more and more um like not conventionally attractive like over the past few months love that it's good something it's it's something i'm excited to see where this uh takes you oh in your dating path oh you know yeah i mean i guess we'll see it's all like pipe dream shit right now keep me in your thoughts we'll keep you updated on that oh i made a lot of money last night with my sugar day hell yeah he listens he listens hey hello papa hi last night was fun all right i'm cutting that out no anyways oh anyway um we need everything's falling apart okay continue uh big scientific news male birth control oh i love this non-hormonal and 99 effective is it abstinence

just kidding zing um what what's that one percent then if it's abstinence that joke really came full circle i love it came um i'm sorry so yeah they've they're trying out this new male birth control that's non-hormonal because the hormonal birth control that was made for men they were like we don't like this and we don't want it because there's too many side effects and separate because you sent me that article but i had also seen it on tiktok and then one of my friends um anna she had sent me screenshots of like a conversation she saw on twitter of men just being fucking stupid they're like hormonal birth control for men causes acne and depression and then the women in the comments are like you know this happens to

women too right and then it's like well i'm not doing that and it's just like oh my god you're so out of touch i could i could pop i could pop off like instead of like empathizing and being like holy shit i can't believe you've been putting up with this like we need to find a solution they're like well i'm not fucking taking it no one is making you yeah you can calm down yeah also it's like a baby it's very bold for anyone to assume that person's having sex so true true um but i have the article ready to go to to read about it briefly i saw somebody referring to it as plan c yeah um that was a retweet i i shared oh that's probably where i saw it um but i also so someone i saw on tiktok talking about it she was like so it is fucking

possible to have hormone free birth control but just not for women yeah unless it's the paraguard and fuck that they don't even offer you like a cervical guard they're just like i'm gonna shove the and there people have a lot of problems with it with paraguard oh yeah everyone i know that has it has had problems with it um that's scary yeah but i mean like that doesn't mean that i only know a couple of people that have it so don't let that scare you from that option but yeah i mean but also i don't know anyone who has pericard every single birth control method has some risks with it yeah so this one uh this article is from the star and they're beginning human trials with new male birth control pill with 99 efficacy study shows so that means they

tested it on mice first and it worked um and now they're testing it on humans um and i just i'm shocked by how quickly this has happened yeah um but it just sucks that like they had the hormonal male birth control option and then men were like i'm feeling too emotional so they had to like pull out already too emotional i saw a woman um explain that men's hormones are so unpredictable because women's are so predictable you know they have all of these different phases based around their cycle um so you can tell where a woman's emotions likely are based on where she is on her cycle um and then with men it's unpredictable it changes during the day it yeah it changes throughout the day and it could change based on things like if they recently held a gun or if

their favorite sports team lost like that's how fucking sensitive and delicate their feelings are and that's not to knock men it's just like i can't believe they've gotten away with selling that women are the sensitive one or like the emotional ones and like women aren't emotional as much as they are just more likely to be empathetic about something preach and like men getting on women about like being like emotional on their periods your testosterone is higher when you're pmsing yeah that's that is that is the that makes so much sense that is that's why your feelings are so delicate because your testosterone's higher and that's reflecting like you know the daily influx of male emotions which yeah just very you want to know what my evenings actually

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out of your evenings go to hellofresh.ca right now get 11 free meals free shipping and free sides for life but only with code easy dinner that's 11 free meals free shipping and free sides for life but only with code easy dinner at hellofresh.ca there is a non-hormonal birth control option for women um that isn't paraguard it's like this cream um but it is spermicide no let me look it up i can't remember what it's called but i remember like getting ads for it and i was like oh i wonder what this is and it's um like this like basically some sort of cream that you put in your vagina and then it basically acts as a barrier but it can also cause like a lot of uh like problems like yeast infections yeah like yeast infections

and utis that makes sense i mean i think that like of course like i think it's harder to create non-hormonal birth control for women because it's inside uh-huh you know it's moist it's inside yeah it's a war zone the things that we've learned just from science is that is just kind of like a breeding ground for problems like yeah have you watched what happens to a loaf of bread when it's like humid it's gonna get moldy loaf of bread in a bag hi mold hey so i'm not saying our vaginas get moldy i'm just saying that it's an incubator for things it's also happen it is self-cleaning amazing i was just about to say that self-cleaning but it's also like the it's a very volatile ph balance exactly you can't if you if you introduce anything you're fucked but then like

we're still expected to be the ones what they say like it makes more sense to unload the gun than wear a bulletproof vest yep it's true and like you know vasectomies that's a good option they're also reversible vasectomies are but like getting your tubes tied yeah not reversible well just reading this article they were explaining um that vasectomies aren't as they're not as reliable as like a this non-hormonal birth control so vasectomies can be expensive and they even though they are reversible they do come with their own set of issues and then obviously there's a laundry list of issues with uh women's contraceptives and then like you know we have condoms tried and true but if you use them wrong sometimes you can get pregnant yeah they break

yeah they break um people don't like wearing them also there's just teeny tiny they can slip through you can just the latex right which is terrifying you can also poke holes in condoms if you're trying to get someone to get you pregnant yeah or don't or put hot sauce in allegedly allegedly i think if you poked a hole in a condom i think it would rip if i'm being like that's like a an old like uh i know we've all i know we've all heard that but i just like i don't know first of all i don't know anyone who's ever done that but i think it would rip just having an initial hole in there and then it would be hard to not notice pushing up against it yeah because then when you pull out there's your dick is through it the condom is no longer there so so resort to hot

sauce yeah yep um but i think this is a good introduction to two of the emails i wanted to read please because we talked about fertility last episode and they're related to that oh amazing um update on my surgery it went really well i was supposed to have cramping don't have any love that uh i was unconscious for the whole thing love that yes because i was talking to my friend today who is not unconscious and she was like it was so fucking painful and i was like i'm glad that i wasn't awake for this yeah yeah a more dramatic option sure but i have no regrets in my decision to not be conscious for it worth every every penny and i've had almost no bleeding yeah that's the it's like you you're not having any like side effects and then also not remembering

any of it is like that's the best like oh my god i'm just avoiding having trauma yeah like beautiful decision for me um always do what's right advocate for your health two people wrote into us about like a couple of different um of their situations around their fertility because i had mentioned that um someone had written to me to think about my fertility and i was like listen that's not my concern right now yeah this one is just titled lady problems which i think is funny and i like sort of recognized this name for a second and then when she explained who she was i went to high school with her so hello i read this the night before i went in for my surgery so i loved reading this right before i went in because it was really empowering so i'm gonna

share it with everyone hi ladies i found your podcast via mutual friend liz and i went to high school with hi liz hello um it has given me many laughs on my drives to and from work rehearsal etc when i'm just too wiped out to deal with music i've been there um i just listened to an episode where liz is talking about hpv her experience fear of a hysterectomy all of it i went through this something similar in 2020 and like to share where i can because maybe it will help someone else and make them feel less alone i'll try and keep it keep things short in february 2020 i had a major dizzy spell that lasted days and my period began to get heavier than normal i thought maybe it was stress and brushed it off it eventually got to a point where i asked where

i talked to my ob about it and they decided to change my birth control to a higher estrogen dose i blindly trusted this not a good idea things got severely worse tmi warning there's no tmi here we're past that i was in so much pain and bled constantly during my actual period week i was i was filling the largest tampons available within one hour i was terrified i was going to need a blood transfusion jesus my ob did an ultrasound and found out i had a large fibroid my doctor is amazing and walked me through my options which were basically remove the fibroid or get a hysterectomy. I also had an 80% chance of having endometriosis since my mom had severe endo when they went in for her hysterectomy. You can't find endo without an exploratory procedure

since it can't be found on any scan or test. Removal of the fibroid is a more complex procedure but can result in massive blood loss. Also, fibroids are guaranteed to come back. It's just a matter of when and how bad joy fibroids can also be cancerous which was terrifying thankfully mine was not they said if i wanted to have kids to do so shortly after surgery to avoid having it again and prevent any pregnancy issues later down the road if the fibroid should return i knew i didn't want kids but i was so concerned about what my friends and family would think my husband then fiance was so supportive he told me if we have kids great if not i'm okay with that too he cared more about my health than anything and that meant the world what a man my mom on the other hand she

had a fibroid with fibroid two years earlier that led to a hysterectomy however she only found out about it because her blood results pre-cosmetic surgery showed anemia she brushed off my issue as if it were no big deal because she had it as well and it was not a problem for her and she only cared about whether they could save my uterus not once did she ask me about how i was feeling what i was thinking nor what i wanted every day i was breaking down in the worst anxiety attacks i've ever had in my life curled up in a ball couldn't breathe it was awful i was in so much pain that i could barely make it from the bed to the couch it got really dark really fast my fibroid was growing at a 33 rate month over month holy shit i know it's insane which can be a symptom

of high estrogen thank you birth control i decided i wanted the hysterectomy eventually it was the size of a four month old fetus i felt trapped in my own body with no support from family and friends who kept telling me that i may change my mind about having kids in a few years i was 28 i never wanted to give birth in my life the thought of pregnancy repulses me it is not my path in life i'll adopt or harvest my eggs for surrogacy if i want kids i didn't tell my mom what i had done what i had decided until after the fact when i read that i was like holy shit like what a badass things just like fuck you I'm getting my hysterectomy I had to make my decision on my own without outside influence and frankly it's none of their business it directly affects myself

and my husband that's it amen the process was tedious I had to fight with many medical professionals throughout the process and learned so much about women's health I was in a support group with so many women who were denied hysterectomies because of their husbands or lack thereof or age other women were only given hysterectomy as an option even though they were desperate for children misinformation was being given by their own doctors and it's just as awful the way that uh the way that doctors make women feel like we're crazy can't advocate for ourselves or need a man to approve of what we do with with our own bodies is absolutely terrible anyways thanks for listening and liz i'm sending positive thoughts that everything goes well and you are

able to make your own choice on whether you you want kids someday and don't have the opportunity ripped from you before you can decide best of luck wow wow thank you so much for opening up about this i think that it's another important example of how how important it is to advocate for your own health like you know your body better than anyone if you know what you want better than anyone you've lived in your body your entire life right there are so many parts of that story of like being you know like knowing that something's up going in and getting it checked um like advocating for yourself that something isn't right doctors being like here's more estrogen which is like almost never the answer and every example that i've ever heard it's almost

never the answer and then like the whole idea of like i'm making a decision for myself to have a hysterectomy completely badass like not going to tell people about it that i know we're going to judge me for it because it's a huge decision that's already difficult to make like i don't need the guilt when i'm just trying to save my life which is like it's just like fucking it's it's exactly what you went through with like yeah you're you're worried about your health right now exactly the your hypothetical unborn child is going to have to come second to that exactly it's like um i'm the one alive right now i'm not just like a uterus it's gonna be a walking uterus it's gonna be tough to have a kid if you're dead yeah hello why don't people realize that shit and

then also like like she said like there are other options too like you can harvest your eggs for surrogacy right you can adopt so it's not i don't know it's just very frustrating in many ways and um it was like the perfect email to get right before yeah going in because i was like fuck yeah she just did this with no problem and like my mom has like she's being she's keeping a respectful distance um but you know she's i think she's just waiting for the moment to be like sal yeah are you gonna have kids yeah yeah and i don't know are you gonna pay for them yeah right good for her for letting it breathe a little bit like for now you know yeah that it's like that's not what we're fucking talking about right now uh we got this one today fertility choices i

suck at subject lines i like it yeah it's straightforward um hi liz and amelia i just wanted to let you know how much i appreciated your discussion on fertility choices last week i'm 31 years old and i have a 10 year old child and i have recently scheduled a surgery to have my tubes tied i was questioned a little by my doctor about why i wanted to have this done instead of my monogamous male partner having a vasectomy and my answer was simple I want control over my body and quite frankly you never know when someone might decide not to be in your life anymore also it was none of it was none of her business but I am not brave enough to say that I am however proud of my choice and excited to not have to worry about babies and birth control

anymore giving birth does not define us as women and I am excited to move on with my baby my life baby free so much love to you both and hope your surgery went well is fuck yes that was i liked that too like yeah it's like well this is why i'm doing it because it's my body yeah any questions well and you can only control yourself in your own choices you know what you want this is like people are always questioning like charity has a kid this is what you want right like can we just let people make decisions for their own bodies anyway good for you this is i this is a great reminder like sure there have been instances where people have made decisions and regretted their choice but that's for literally everything in the world like fucking the color you paint

your walls you know what i mean but like if it feels right in the moment you're going to do what feels right and also you know better than anyone else period i think that there is always going to be an instance of like well what if i didn't or what if i did because that's just how human brains work but if you you know your body and you know what's best for you better than anybody else full stop yeah like there's there's no there's no question about that and there's always going to be people that are trying to pretend like they know better than you and there are different instances if people are like not in their right mind or if they're like going through like depression or anxiety and they're making snap judgments but a lot of these decisions are made

after a lot of thought and people act like they're not people act like people are making these decisions just like in the moment and that's fucked up because these decisions eat a lot of people alive oh of course you know what i mean i had never considered that people are just treating it like it's an impulsive decision like ah fuck it i'm just gonna get my tubes tied or i'm gonna get it for the first time you know that's yeah that's a really good point that's their first time hearing it make decisions that feel right for you you know better than anyone i just think it's like the obsession around women's fertility is wild like the older i get the more people obsess over it well and the more that they will continue to it just goes along with everything

women people are always trying to control everything about women it just sucks that because fertility is like such a huge piece of our at the moment of our lives that we're in right now it's such a it's a topic of conversation before that it was how we were dressing oh yeah what music we listen to everything everything i tweeted this recently just everything you do is policed your entire life like your sexuality is obsessed over yeah for so long into and then just like what we put women through is exhausting yeah and then and then this um this new air this new place that we're in that like around like beauty and skincare like women can't age we're not allowed to at first we weren't allowed to take up space and we always had to be thin and

now we're not allowed to take up time and age even though that's fucking normal and we have been doing it since the beginning of time yeah right and it's just the way that women are completely dismissed as existing after a certain age is really uh i'm over it and it's it is all to make money really i mean like botox i'm guilty of this i'm i'm trying to freeze myself in time but that's like the result of like a lot of my guy friends where i'm like oh look i got botox i can't move my forehead that's like the thing that guys love seeing the most about botox you're like whoa you can't express yourself they're like should i get botox and i'm like the fact that you haven't thought about whether or not you need it it's a testament to the fact that it's not

really damn that i haven't considered that like literally i name one man that you have talked to who's been like yes i'm considering i'm considering a cosmetic appointment i've never met a single one the i've never met one and the only guys that i know that have gotten plastic surgery are mad extreme about it like like human kendall you know what i mean like it's and i don't know maybe there are like some men in my life that i don't know have gotten botox or whatever but it's it's not to the extreme that it is like it's only marketed to women yeah and i oh god why am i only now having this realization i'm thinking about all the ads i get for botox like are just it's just women in the ad yeah i mean and it's like i've heard like oh like ladies get botox before 25

it's preventative you and it's always ladies yeah we're not allowed to age gracefully why aren't women just allowed to age i don't know it's exhausting it is and i hope that it changes but it probably won't because it's it's it's all in an effort to make companies money period because they they know that like if we're getting it from every angle that we need to be a type of way it's like all of these other companies are going to jump into that like um like the what's the word i'm looking for it's like the weakness in the foundation you know what i mean it's like they're not going to like come at men and be like botox because they're not getting it all the time we're getting it all the time so then if there's like a new like skincare product that'll make us young

it's like oh my god you're right i do need this because you're already getting this information from everywhere i was just listening to um sounds like a cult and the latest episode that they did was on the cult of skincare because it's not just makeup that's its own thing but skincare itself and then i was thinking about it and i was like we're constantly like on tiktok there's constantly a new fucking skin product like that little electric thing that like makes your face raised for whatever amount of time so that's the newest one and then there's like just there's so many different fucking skincare products like making the circulation and everything's anti-aging and queer eye has been a really really interesting moment for men in my

life where like because jonathan will teach these men like how to take care of their skin and so many men in my life have been like oh yeah like i started using a night cream because i watched queer eye and it's like a mind-blowing concept to them and that was probably the first time that i realized i'm like oh it's because they're not advertised this shit i was i was always just like maybe they don't care but they clearly do because they're watching queer and they're like maybe i need a night cream and that's like sad that maybe i should wear sunscreen i yeah right that's exactly right everyone should wear sunscreen look at me look around listen look at both cameras yeah wear sunscreen you need to be wearing some fucking sunscreen spf 30

did you did you know after spf 30 it doesn't do anything yeah so spf 30 minimum we're not fucking around and sex fact of the week female kangaroos have three vaginas female kangaroos all marsupials for that matter possess three vaginal tubes but only one vaginal opening eliminating any confusion on the part of their mates that's good when males inseminate females their sperm travels up either or both of the side tubes and about 30 days later the tiny joey travels down the central tube from which it slowly makes its way to its mother's pouch for the remainder of its gestation interesting i am realizing i have no fucking idea how kangaroos are born do they come out of the pouch i i'm learning i'm thinking maybe yes they do so here's

here's my thing about kangaroos fuck kangaroos everybody that i know that is from australia knows my hatred of kangaroos they that is objectively disgusting that they hang out in pouches that's disgusting to me i and they're mean listen i'm trying to i'm still processing where the fuck is a kangaroo's vagina located maybe in the pouch in the should we look you're gonna get i need to i need to see how kangaroos have sex i fucking hate kangaroos i really do i don't really have um an opinion on kangaroos because you're a normal person so here's i saw a video of a kangaroo like that was jacked jacked i know that's running into a window because it's trying to fight its reflection and i was like this is that that was the moment that i was like

what the fuck actually is a kangaroo i don't like it at all they're like deer in australia they just they're everywhere and i hate that they're a little too mobile to for me to trust them you know they're just all like where is it you know a deer is gonna run away i oh god i hate i hate okay we're gonna look up how kangaroos have sex because i have questions all right and also that sex act was from thought co oh oh my god liz sorry i had no idea what you're now we're just looking at pictures of kangaroos fucking it look it it's it's doggy style essentially it's how actually exactly what i expected it how all animals well i couldn't figure out like the whole process with the pouch like where is that part of it um but it it's also very sad that it

looks like they do have they do give birth through their pouch the pouch is a vagina so their kid just hangs out in their vagina i hate kangaroos this is all just very interesting news to me i'm pretty angry because i thought the kangaroo pouch was just kind of like a pocket but that is how they've been able to make kangaroos palatable for children when in reality making it a pocket versus that's i guess a kangaroo pouch is a vagina apparently i have a lot to think about they're a waste of time they're also raccoons too i don't like kangaroos or raccoons you don't like raccoons no they're cute but they're fucking assholes i love raccoons they're so insane that's why i love them i've been hissed at by so many raccoons

i me and raccoons not compatible the first time i saw a raccoon in person was less than a year ago mr liz and i had done shrooms and went to the arboretum great time highly recommend um and then afterwards as we're coming down we had some leftover shrooms and he made them into a tea and so i had another little smaller second wave and then we looked out we heard just like this crazy like animal screaming type sounds and we're like what the fuck and then we went and looked out the window and there were like these three fat ass raccoons like fighting with each other it was like two raccoons were chasing this other raccoon hate it and i was just out i was just making sure a cat wasn't involved oh for sure i was like we gotta save this baby oh that was very kind of you

and then they waddled across the street mr liz's roommate hates raccoons because they chased him one time that that's my i went to a one day i was to be fair both of you for some reason give off this energy that you would be chased by a raccoon oh i don't know why because we both have been um have geese chased you no but fuck geese that's another one fuck geese fuck kangaroos kangaroos and geese and geese are mean geese are mean no i no you'll see not raccoons though not raccoons that's why i didn't include them okay they're an enemy of the amelia yeah but not an enemy of the pod kangaroos enemy of the pod mage enemy of the pod um anyway this goes out to kangaroos watch your fucking back fucking back your weird ass pouch strong bitches you don't need to be that

fucking strong you weird ass vagina pouch how come we don't have vagina pouches you could put your weed in there wow i suppose you could still put your weed in your pussy i have a friend that put a um they were trying to sneak molly into a music festival and put it up their vagina and it what it the bag was opened up and it got dissolved into their vagina and they had the craziest trip of their life cautionary tale don't put molly up your vagina and if you do make sure it's good stuff really secure oh and it's here yeah make sure make sure it's good stuff in that you should get a drug testing kit and make sure your ziploc is zipped there you go zip up your ziploc and zip up your snatch damn that was a sex fact and snatched it and a word of advice yeah all right

that's that are you oh i had to i had to i had it's our new song we love you i'm closing it out because i have things to do our children could have been better i know it's okay Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.