The Hoely Hour - E91 The Real Workwives

Episode Date: June 17, 2022

Is he cheating, or is she just a normal person that needs a ride home from work? Liz and Amelia get deep about if forgiveness after cheating is truly possible, rank their icks, and one listener shares a Historical sex toy story... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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May slow when network is busy. See terms. are you ready to rock uh you just sang that wanna rock and roll all night and party every day welcome to the holy hour i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball i just realized how bad my posture is in that moment mine's very slouchy as well my shoulders are in my ears and you'll know that we're slouchy if you go watch us on youtube please watch our episodes on youtube please watch us on youtube okay my neighbors are moving right now y'all yeah they're walking up and down

the stairs and they're noisy as heck i like that when we started recording here we're like yes it'll be quieter because and it just got noisy right when i started recording the funny but yeah it's funny that my place was quieter but this is the last week that we're recording in this room i'm so excited i'm moving to my dream place okay but we're not going to get sidetracked we have we have a list of things to talk about today i'm reminding myself of this okay please watch us on youtube we are pretty and not today i'm not today you literally are every day chill thank you i can't deal my hair is quite greasy today you actually cannot tell i hope not um so yeah watch us on youtube uh i think like a maximum of 70 people watch every week um but that's because

we never remind you um we never remind you so now here we are follow us on tiktok instagram twitter at the holy hour send us your spanish stories yeah we haven't gotten very many stories lately yeah send us some more we we always love them even if we don't read them on the podcast we love reading them yeah and um holy hour podcast at gmail.com and uh last week we announced that we have a new line of merch for hot girl summer you don't have to be a girl to wear them it's just a state of mind and um i personally am a fan of the amelia's catch and release program i showed my dad i cannot wait to get one uh mr liz and i want to like get them for every guy you stop seeing that's a great idea that's like my parting gift yeah you're like and i got you this

because i'm letting you go back into the wild i'm letting you find your other fish yeah uh and then there's i like that it's kind of like a camp shirt it looks almost like a yeah a summer camp shirt and then um to not feel left out i made myself one it's called the aftercare apothecary shirt and it has mushrooms on it super cute and then we have another like round of things that were designed by our friend hello hysteria she designed the last like all of the other merch that we have so we have a hand holding a switchblade and it says i'm a switch that's my favorite one yeah that was like fan inspired um and then we have like a bunch of angel merch so it'll it says like angel and then it has like the heart lollipops all over it so it's like a pink pattern and then

we also have um it's like a it almost looks like a biker logo and it's two snakes that are like next to each other and it says the manner of serpents in a circle around it so it's dope if you know you know the girls who know y'all know yeah you know the girlies who get it get it so really cute stuff check out our summer merch it's it was like so much fun like working with alora on these and um you know buy some if you can and if you want to and i think like there's a lot more variety with this round this batch of merch and our old stuff is still up as well yeah we still have our old as well and we never talk about that either we don't we talk about a lot of stuff and we never talk about the stuff that that we have merch that we have that

we have merch and we thought we have a youtube yeah so here we are just two girls standing in front of an unknown amount of people begging you to to be a part of amelia's catch and release program it's the i i'm very unethical about it i i like i don't know i was just dicking around and i was like this would be funny i think that it's great my dad was so fucking hyped about it it's so cute and then have you talked about that on the podcast i was like yeah he's like oh the catch and release program it's like i came up with that that's me uh so exciting okay shall we start with our first topic yeah are you gonna take it away i'm gonna take it away because i want to show you there's a tiktok i don't remember what it is i'm gonna

be honest okay but i remember when i saw it i was like i have to get liz's takes on this and all i wrote in my notes was liz's thoughts on and then the link so let's see what it is this video is by it's from the handle whismic w-h-i-s-m-i-c and this person i want to get their pronouns right it doesn't say this person was picking up their boyfriend um and they were like a face paint prank gone wrong and they were wearing darth maul face paint and um the boyfriend walked up to the car and he was like oh uh do you mind if we give my co-worker a ride home and the person that was taking the video was like oh well you're not like an asshole if I say no and then in the response video the co-worker was being like super super nice to the girlfriend and everyone in the comments

is like he's cheating on you for sure with her like that's that was like the first step before my boyfriend started cheating on me was like the the work wife being like super yeah so I wanted to get your opinion on the like the idea of work wives and like how when a significant other's friends meet the person that their friend is dating and they're like saccharine to the boyfriend or the girlfriend if that's a red flag for you well what wait what do you mean like if the work wife slash husband is like a jim halpert yeah i mean okay my hot take is like jim halpert sucks oh um like i don't know he's like a pick me boy like of course i love jim and pam in the office i am a millennial of course i fucking love it but if like that was a real situation if that

was a real scenario i'd be like okay this guy is just like harassing another one of my co-workers because he thinks it's funny i'd be i don't know i would think he was a little shit and also like constantly pining off after someone who's engaged and i would just if i were in that office and i wasn't any of those people i'd be like what is this fuckery what are you thinking i'm also thinking that like just because someone is attractive and works with your partner and they're friends like that doesn't mean anything because I'm also thinking about Mr. Liz he has tons of female co-workers and then even at his last place tons of female co-workers and I was friends with them and I've gone out with his female co-workers at this job and like I adore

them and i was just also thinking that like i think he also is so focused on me in a monogamous relationship that like i am never worried but i think it it depends on the partner that you have because i don't think every man is like that or every i don't think every person is like that yeah and like some people like the attention and that kind of like flirty thrill of like flirting with someone at work yeah um so it's hard to say like it can be harmless but in this specific scenario i think it's like not a big deal i think that the creator was totally i like that they called out their boyfriend immediately and it's like you're making me look like an asshole now yeah if i say no you put me on the spot because she's right there um so that just shows me that they

probably have pretty open communication because he was like yeah you're right i did yeah and then um that's a good point and then i mean i think that uh i've heard that like the creator made like another reply video to everyone being like that's his work wife like um saying that she's really nice she makes us food and i haven't seen that either but at that point i feel like she's just fucking with everyone like it sounds like she's almost like fucking with everyone like yeah so the work wife is like apparently like an older woman um and everyone was calling this person his work wife but then they were like well it's his girlfriend it's his work mom yeah yeah which is like this person is like you know like his work mistress and like and the creator was

making all these response videos like why would you even say that like that must be so like yeah i didn't gather that from any of this no right it's just that she was like oh you're so pretty uh-huh right i don't know it doesn't need to be a thing but i do think that like because we spend most of our lives at work yeah it can be tough if there's like any sort of insecurity and like projecting that on a stranger on the internet of being like you should be worried about this yeah you don't know what their yeah you don't know what their situation is yeah exactly and it could be like me and mr liz like i definitely felt insecure when i was like oh he works with all these hot girls and then i met them and they're like the greatest people ever now i like

go surfing and skiing with them yeah yeah so i don't know i just like if you trust your partner you should also trust them like who they choose to surround themselves with so if you don't trust them it's either a reflection on you or how you are like maybe your gut knows that they're going to treat you yeah i don't know yeah i think if you if you're worried about your partner cheating if they're going to cheat like them being at work has nothing to do with it yeah if they're going to cheat on you they're just going to do it yeah so if you have any sort of trust issues like you should probably address that up front and not like projected on them being at work because like if you're feeling insecure when they're at the place that they're at for 40 hours a week that's

like a lot of your life to be stressing out yeah and i mean it's not totally unfounded like when we've talked about cheating statistics most of the people cheat on someone that they met or cheat on their partner with someone they met at work yeah yeah so yeah it's not unprecedented but i did not gather that just from this interaction i gathered it as just like you know this guy's trying to be nice like yeah to his co-worker right and maybe they have like a somewhat friendly relationship it doesn't necessarily mean like they're best friends at work like yeah i so follow-up question like not just at work but if you meet it's different with mr liz because you know so many of his friends but like in the past if you've

been dating someone and you meet one of their girlfriends and they're like oh my god like it's so nice to me he talks about you so much like you know those girls yeah like i've seen my best friend that bit on tiktok yeah the girl who like triggers it's such a common thing do you see that as a red flag when a friend that's a girl is like over the top nice to you or are you just kind of like um i think it just kind of like depends on the it depends on the person i'm dating and then it depends on how they are and that also just comes with like years of like you and i both had like shitty childhood friends you know yeah so that just comes with knowing when you can like tell you could just tell that someone is like fucking with you so I have a pretty good bullshit

meter so like even if you know I have there have been people who are obsessed with Mr. Liz yeah and I'm like oh I don't like that but I just tell him yeah and then he's like oh I totally understand how you feel but I haven't had to deal with that in so long because like I haven't had to deal with someone being like passively aggressive like too nice to me because I just have outgrown that and I also don't tolerate that like I'm not friends with people who behave like that like keep people around like that I was also thinking though this situation reminded me of when i first moved here and my backpack got stolen and i couldn't get home like like the one time a man is trying to be nice to a woman people are just so quick to be like oh well he's not he's

unfaithful you can't trust him but meanwhile like it's way worse if he just leaves her if i was dating someone and they just left a girl at a bar without any of her stuff smack the shit out of them were you fucking thinking yeah it was like oh yeah she got all her shit stolen and like she has no way to get home or nowhere to stay so i just left her at the bar in the middle of or where was it pioneer square the worst area in seattle the most unsafe area so i just think that like people aren't being holistic enough thinking about this of like yeah maybe she could have found found another way home but like if she's already friends with this guy at work and she's on the way like and for whatever reason she couldn't get a ride home

mm-hmm that's fine agreed yeah so that's kind of also the perspective i'm looking at it through yeah it is way more fun and exciting to believe that he's having an affair but i didn't gather that from anything i agree i agree i just think it's so fucked up when people on the internet are like you should be worried it's like you have no idea you have nothing coloring this like you're projecting yeah you need to work on yourself yeah you should probably figure that out because i'd like to let you know that you can be happy in a trusting relationship yeah right there doesn't need to be something nefarious going on all of the time yeah what do you think i mean like i haven't dated anyone like seriously in a long time where like i've like had

to meet their people you know like i met squints as friends but that was just because like i don't know they were just like we did things with them and it wasn't ever like a oh my god hi because like everybody thought of squints as like he's he was really a golden retriever he has a golden I'm talking like he's dead he's like a golden retriever so he continues to be a golden retriever yeah so everyone's just like oh my god we're so happy that he's with someone that like can keep up with him and so it's like I never got like any sort of vibe from his friends that I had to worry my ex like okay he cheated on you exactly so of course everyone that I met was a risk for me and like everyone that I was so insecure at the time that every girl that I met I would find a reason

that he probably liked them more than he likes me and that was tough for me to get over I can't believe you tolerated feeling like that for so long oh my god me neither I know I think back on that oh fuck I don't I don't know I lost like 30 pounds during that relationship I was just like not I was sick all the time I also would like to I can't remember if we discussed this in our cheating the musical episode um why did you choose to stay in that relationship so how it happened was he had cheated on me a year and a half before i found out about it okay and when i found out about it i found out because we had broken up and i think i said something i think i danced around the story on that episode but how it went down was we broke up I was crying um with my roommates

and I was like I wish that I could be mad instead of sad and they were like we're like oh we know how to do that yeah so we actually heard that he and then you're like no now I'm also mad at you yeah why the fuck didn't you tell me this sooner but they had known that he like somebody somebody told them that he had been like going around kissing people at parties and so I confronted him about it and he owned up to it and i was i was yelling at him i was like you might as well just tell me everything and then he told me about like fucking two girls so i how in your head do you justify doing that i don't know if you're listening but you might be listening because that's just like the fan behavior i would expect from him what the fuck like how do you justify

treating a person like like i just don't know what goes on in someone's head where they're like yeah and i'm gonna fuck someone else yeah how we justified it was like saying that him and i were on a break but that we weren't going to be fucking other people or seeing other people it was like he just didn't want you to fuck anyone else yeah right and we were still seeing each other it was just like the words that we said were that we were on a break but we were still going out hanging out all the time but i went to florida over the summer and that's when both of the events happened um but I knew all along like I fucking like I just was feeling vibes from these two girls and I was just like no Amelia you're just being nuts we would be him and I would have sex and

there was one day where we were having sex in his new room it was the first time I was there and the bed was hanging against the wall and he like pulled the bed away from the wall like he just like instinctively knew to do it and I was like how did he know how to do that and I was talking to my roommates and I was like why did he know that that would stop the bed from making noise if we've never had sex in his bed my roommates are like you're fucking crazy like you're reading too much into this that doesn't mean anything when in reality he had been fucking other people your gut knows i know gut feelings are grinding angels did he did he only hook up with them like once like independently or was he hooking up with them multiple times i know

one of them was just once i don't know about the other one um but i'm sure that there were others but those are the two that i found out about anyway all that to say it's like a serial killer like a murderer you're like there might be more bodies yeah we just don't know that's yeah i mean and i'm you know honestly it bugs me it's giving narcissist he i like the more i i know we use so many people love using that word and i definitely am not the kind of person who gravitates towards using that unless i sincerely believe it's like clinical narcissism yeah i'm not gonna say someone's just a narcissist no yeah no it's a big word and it's a large accusation but i sincerely think like well after when i was like documenting all of this on tiktok when we

first broke up or i guess not first broke up but when we like broke up for good um everyone was like you should look up the definition of narcissist and he's like not arrogant at all and i didn't know that narcissism was like a personality disorder because people are always like oh he's such a narcissist yeah and what they mean is just egotistical arrogant and he's not at all he's honestly and like even to this day like the work that he did on himself like after that breakup and i'll get this is to get back to the answer why i stayed with him but like he did so much work on himself and was honest to god one of the nicest people i knew like once he like fixed his life up and so people were like narcissist narcissist and i was like shut the fuck up that

doesn't that doesn't that doesn't make any sense because i was thinking of it in terms of cocky and then i looked up the definition of a narcissist and i was like oh i see what they mean yeah he didn't become a better person he just became a better manipulator and then he was able to just remove the love so quickly from me that that was just that um which is which is a sign but the reason that i stayed with him was just because of that like him and i once i found out about these girls i was like that's it we're done like bye and that was over christmas break all christmas break he was like driving down from where we went to school he stayed up there for break um and was like leaving like mixtapes at my door and shit and like would like drive down an hour and a half

to like leave me flowers and stuff and like he was like calling me all the time a fucking apology tour and then like he like went a literal apology tour went around to all of my friends talked to my family like made good with all of them and like really did all this work he had done everything that I wanted him to do all along and I was like oh my god this is great and then four years after that he was that way like he was like really really great but because he did all of that so quickly and I never had time to heal from the relationship I never really got or I never got like I couldn't heal from the the cheating I never really healed from it I was gonna ask if you think that you have any sort of ptsd from that relationship absolutely like sincere pt i

started listening to the body keeps the score i can't remember if i've told you that no so um i've just been i've just been feeling like yeah kind of lost and i wanted something to like continue my growth and i just i can't keep focusing on um things that are directly related to intersectional feminism and like the planet because i get really overwhelmed and i've been making myself really upset by feeling powerless so i'm trying to give myself some space and like focus on just me myself like how can i heal myself and so i was just trying to find a book and like that one jumped out at me so i've been listening to the body keeps the score and i'm not very far into it maybe like i think i'm on chapter four or five but it's essentially it talks a lot about how

um your body stores trauma like you have physical repercussions because of this unprocessed trauma or ptsd and they just like um the author is a doctor and talks about a lot of studies he's conducted and um tells different stories of like different patients and like how trauma is like different types of trauma can be similar in the brain and like how it affects your physical body yeah so i haven't gotten far enough to know like well what do you do next but it's really interesting and how it can like affect your memory and like trauma can also kind of induce ADHD ADD type symptoms so it's it's wild I yeah I mean I really feel that I say all the time like when I was going through the breakup and like when I was snooping and then like I like started

doing work to stop snooping it would be so it's so hard to stop oh my god it's fucking impossible because it's like it's like a hit of a drug like really um but I was talking to my therapist I was like I now know how it feels to be in that mindset of feeling like I need to see what this dude is up to all the time that i'm afraid of accidentally seeing a photo of him and it felt like it was a ptsd response like every time like i would like see him in like the corner of a frame of like a video i'll just like swipe by the video because like i didn't even want to put myself back into a headspace of like maybe somewhere that i would backslide and as i'm like that takes a lot of strength thank you i just got so sick of being sad like i was just so sad for so fucking long

I remember multiple times in college too when we would break up like I would be just like sitting there like I there's no way that I could possibly feel worse which like feels really stupid because like there are people in the world going through much much worse things than a breakup but when you're going through that and you have like clinical depression that is undiagnosed and like severe anxiety like it actually feels like the world is ending yeah I was gonna say it feels like the sky's falling it was i've i literally could not imagine feeling worse like it was so bad and so like i feel like with dating specifically now where i'm at it's like every time i kind of feel like i'm dipping a toe back into that kind of relationship or that kind of

exchange i fucking melt down i liz has heard this whole story i'm not going to tell tell the story but i've been like dealing with some shit with the poet in terms of like working through trying to figure out like what triggers me because i keep crying every time him and i try to have like a difficult conversation i end up fucking crying which is fine and he handles it fine but it's like i really believe that i have relationship ptsd like i'm just i was it was so fucking bad for so long yeah i would also think that like i'm not i'm not a doctor so i'm not gonna be like yeah you have relationship PTSD but to know that it's a possibility yeah you're like yeah that probably is it and like through the end too that relationship ended in the worst possible way

that it could have after eight years anyway I'm not gonna go through that again we did bring up so you did bring up something that I think is also like relevant to like something that we both recently saw on TikTok um she stitched a video of someone saying like me checking on the girl my ex cheated on me with like six years later and saying that she is happy and engaged because it just becomes part of your routine like your daily routine of checking on this person and she stitched it and she explained why we do that and it's because your brain doesn't process like time so in you know in your mind like that pain is still like fresh yeah and if you can control the thing that hurt you it won't be able to hurt you again so that's why you like

create these habits um to do things like this and we're in a different world now where you can do that on social media just whenever you want you can just like it's way too easy yeah you can look up at whoever and see what they're up to yeah yeah we have the world at our hands and it did become a routine for me I think also same what was so fucked up for me too that I was dealing with in my breakup was like I really hurt him a lot at the end and so it was like I was watching him carry on with his life and I could have done something about it you know what I mean like it wasn't so much it was like feeling helpless when i feel like i could have made different decisions you know so it was like i was i felt like if i could see what he was doing and know

his moves all the time then like it kept me feeling safe like i could like have some semblance of control over it which is like how and my therapist was like how is that true and i was like like bitch it's not but i didn't think about that it's not true it makes me feel safe for like 10 seconds out of the day and that's all i need right now yeah i feel safe for 10 seconds and then i immediately feel worse after yeah that's 100 true and you also go looking for things to like deconfirm what you believe like yeah it's like oh i think that he's seeing this person let me go snoop and see and like make sure that he's like not seeing this person and then you see it you're like oh they are seeing each other and i fucking knew it and this is why i look

yeah exactly but then you end up feeling worse so anyway snooping is never the answer yeah i never the answer i mean i do have to say i think that like your gut in ending things initially with him was right and then like change is really hard yeah and scary so it's easy to like want to backslide and be like never mind like i i spent a lot of formative years with this person yeah this is the right thing totally i wish in hindsight i wish i gave myself more time to heal after i had found out that he had been sleeping with other people because i think that that would have made the remainder of the relationship much much different i mean when you're young like hindsight's always in 2020 yeah i probably would have done the same thing i was just like

oh he's being so great now but i would have been a nightmare and brought it up constantly oh i did oh i brought it up literally all the time to the point where he was eventually like if you don't stop bringing this up he was just like i don't know what i can say to you anymore because truly i was i was bringing it up like too much and like he was really putting in like a lot of legwork like this dude hurt me like a lot but i will say that he did put in a lot of work to try to make it right and i just could never i never i needed to take time alone and i didn't and i was i thought that bringing it up to him all the time was like would help me work through it because we're together and we can work through it together but that was not i need to be alone i would use it as

a as a thing to hold against my well of course but like if we were fighting i'd be like oh you mean just like when you cheated on me you mean like when you fucked someone else yeah i mean and that's also kind of valid but like i what really really really upset me when we broke up was like yeah i hurt him at the end i never cheated i never i was honest with him about really everything from top to bottom and he didn't give me the same opportunity that I gave him after he cheated to like prove myself you know and that's that's what really fucked me up it was like oh I'm not like you don't think that it's worth it to forgive me when I've like put up with having to deal with having you cheated on me like for four years I've been so anyway my bottom

line I could go on and on about this if you want more information about my breakup it's all on TikTok that was the messiest and cheating the musical and yeah cheating the musical but yeah I don't know it's I think when you go through something

difficult in a past relationship it's super unfair that the people that you date moving forward have to kind of like pick up the pieces but that's just kind of the case like you learn

how to get through these traumatic things by like forming new habits and new patterns. And finding the right person to like kind of like understand that and help you through it is huge. But aren't you happy that he didn't give you the same chance that you gave him? Yes. Oh my god. I was actually saying that the other night. I was talking to Katie about this. I was like can you imagine if I would have like actually convinced him I would be a completely different

person now. And I don't like that because I didn't like who I was before. Speaking of relationships I hung out with Mr. Liz on Saturday and it was the one of the many highlights of my birthday weekends we had a little too much fun especially mr liz i've never seen him so drunk in my life it was so fucking fun he's just so fun to be around he's yeah he's a cute drunk cutie drunk guy amelia was saying he was really smiley i was like that's a good way to describe him when he's drunk just a smiley it was so funny i texted liz i was like watching you guys walk back to the car because they were coming they weren't driving they were taking an uber but they came back to my car to get stuff out of it and um liz was holding up mr liz kind of while he was walking to my car and

i was like it looked like you were trying to hold up a rootless tree because he was just kind of like timbering the whole time and you were just like and he's like he's a big guy yeah how much taller than like a full foot taller yeah he's a foot taller than me and then he's also just like really broad just a broad guy takes up a lot of space i want to face you more okay cool um so all that being said um we have a fun game i love games uh we i was seeing this on tiktok amelia saw it too but uh i pitched it um if anyone's seen the trend on tiktok where people say like they're a 10 but they don't wash their ass or something and then you give them a new number and i know like rating people isn't like these are these are people who don't exist

it's just a hypothetical we do not condone rating people yeah and it's arbitrary yeah they're not real and then it's interesting to think like oh yeah if i was like super attracted to someone but they did this like is that enough of an ick that i wouldn't like them or if i was like only somewhat attracted to someone and then i found out that they do something amazing like how much more attractive to me would they be yeah so that's where i'm thinking like not necessarily looks but just like how how attracted to them you are yeah because that's also subjective so and not always um appearance yeah i talked about this on tiktok today with pete davidson perfect example i saw your tweet about that yeah is it the same thing uh-huh i just made a video a longer

explanation okay so i have a few written down and i'm excited should we just go back and forth yeah okay um all right he's a 10 but his bathroom is disgusting oh seven okay no honestly i would say eight my bathroom's kind of disgusting and i'm a 10 do you mean like like even if it's like dirty like grime i'm talking like grimy not just like messy do what is the grime what does the grime consist of is it like hair like yeah like hair shavings it's just dirty because it's never been cleaned it probably smells like urine just like caked up pee on the ground but he's a 10 a 7 i'm gonna stick with 7 okay what about you what would you say oh my god that would be like an immediate ick for me really like a three really yeah if someone's hot and

then their bathroom and is disgusting i'm like all the way out fair enough okay is he a 10 no wait sorry this is the game that i'm thinking of erase that is he a 10 or is he just okay he's a 10 but he doesn't have any friends i would need more context like does he not have any friends because he just moved here he just doesn't have friends he's like a lifelong here oh that would be a big red flag if he's a 10 and he has no friends zero friends i'm wondering like what number i'd give four maybe wow you you having a gross bathroom is worse than having no friends no friends and not i guess you're right like there are people that don't have friends because they're introverts like and that's not what i mean because you killed them all right or like

i don't know whenever i like really like a dude and he doesn't have any friends i'm like you're really social why don't you have any fucking friends i don't like that wait you've been in a situation like that yes i dated a dude i'm trying to think what his um moniker was yeah because you know i don't know names grapes he had his roommates were his only friends that i really ever heard of and like he wouldn't hang out with them and i was just like he was also just like a weird fucking dude yeah he was a little so you would say so you think having a gross bathroom is worse no you're right i think having

no friends is worse than having a gross bathroom okay so i guess two nice what would you give probably a 10 with no friends three yeah let's say three okay yeah um i think that like i've dated like quiet guys like introverted guys i have i have like a friend i love my little introvert boy yeah and that's different than like someone that's like outgoing and bubbly and like doesn't have any friends i'm like what the fuck is there's something that i'm about to uncover why mage red flag yeah so three i'd say three okay um he's an eight but he smirks in every picture an eight two i'd say two if he was a ten it'd be a four i'm trying to do a smirk hold on oh my god the eyebrow

out oh it's always with the fucking eyebrows what would you give that also gives me such an ick um what did i say the eight you'd give a two i'd give like a five i think it's just because i'm like very online so i feel like well i've noticed the guys who do that like the guys i know in real life who do that are like uh yeah they're like pick me boys like but i'm a nice guy like those kinds of guys totally yeah they like have a fedora collection yeah they definitely love fedoras yeah big fedora fan they wear hats that just should not be worn yeah word um okay he's a he's a 10 like a 10 okay but he his eyes gloss over every time you start talking zero i have i might as well be like drier than the sehara at that point i agree tumbleweeds

blowing through my vagina fucking unattractive yeah nice good answer um this is this is obviously very biased of me to put in here uh he's a six but he paints his nails oh eight that's what i would say eight or nine yeah that's an immediate attractor it's like yeah yeah it's hell yeah big big dick energy um the confidence and the bde just sprinkles on top i fucking love that okay i'm trying to think i'm trying to think of something that's like really hot um okay i'm gonna do one that's biased for me okay he's a six but he like volunteers at an animal shelter he's a six and he volunteers in an animal shelter but like how often four times a week uh he loves animals i have to say i don't know if like that's hot to you yeah if that means

enough to me i'd say just 1.7 wow yeah you see what like even if i'm not like a big animal person if somebody's like passionate about some we've talked about this though it's like guys that are passionate about things but also you multiple points yeah so maybe that's a bad example like volunteers at like a homeless shelter i gave a biased one so i know but i'm also a big nail polish fan i was just volunteers at just something something that they are very passionate about four times a week does that change it no really yeah interesting that would shoot up to like a nine for me i yeah i don't know okay fair enough fair enough he's a nine but his favorite movie is the joker how passionate about it is he um he dresses up as the joker every costume party in halloween

six he makes you watch it once a week and then he quotes the whole movie while you're sitting next to him four i can't stand when people quote movies as you're watching them that's actually probably my biggest ick i still haven't seen fiction without somebody quoting it the entire time fuck that that's so insufferably annoying i've watched it six or seven times and never have actually been able to watch it oh my god say why again or what was it say i don't know again um say what one more time what yeah that oh my god that whole scene like every single time i watch it with a guy word for word it's spoken and then every time we watch it in any sort of film class everybody around me is speaking word for word that i'm like we get it

we get that you've seen pulp fiction we fucking get it are you interesting like you must be because you know all the words in pulp fiction i just can't fucking deal um i have one for you oh okay he's a five but he has a lot of tattoos good tattoos he has a lot of good tattoos he's a five seven yeah i would say the same yeah because i'm like i don't know if tattoos are enough to make a difference like to me well because i'm like okay let me think of someone who is a five to me yeah but tattoos do make someone like somewhat more interesting i don't know because you're like oh what's that well yeah whenever

you're just not i don't know it's just nice it's interesting to see totally i don't know it's there's something very like sexy about a dude that just like like whenever i see a guy on him dude i'm like yeah he's like kind of cute and then i can like see i'd like he'll be wearing shorts in a picture and he has like leg tattoos i'm like oh yeah thigh tats are hot yeah i'll always i'll almost always swipe right because it's just like i don't know there's something just like oh you're kind of edgy i and i think the importance there's an important emphasis on good tattoos yeah like grapes had two guns on his chest no amelia let me see if i'm still why did you hold that information he got it while we were seeing each other no that's even worse yeah um

i've unfollowed him i don't know if he's private but i'll show you them hmm so anyway okay do you have other ones i have one more okay this is fun this is fun the sun is still up and it's nine oh jesus um okay last one to bring it in he's a 10 but he loves following hustle culture instagram profiles he fucking loves gary v there are worse people than gary v seven okay seven but like if he follows like jordan peterson yeah all of them four if he follows people like jordan peterson like if if he like i'm talking like jordan peterson um gary v and then just any of those ones that has like it's like a black and white picture of like a guy in a suit and it says like

work hard and you'll never work a day and you're like i don't know some fucking made-up bullshit that doesn't make sense okay so he follows them yeah he like does he like post them all of them like on his story yeah okay then like four if he just like follows he unironically puts them on his story four well you know i'm thinking back now that now that grapes is fresh in my mind because we were just talking about him i don't know if you're gonna keep that part in but we were just talking about grapes and he's fresh in my mind and he was one of those and so and i was still very attracted to him oh yeah amelia okay amelia just showed me has tattoos and like i i don't you need to have me screen these people i know i i'm so stressed

oh that just reminds me uh me and amelia's friend katie downloaded shipped yes or ship the dating app because i think katie and i both have certain standards for the type of person we would like chameleon to date yeah and standards that i clearly don't have for myself yeah like all you had to do is show me a picture of grapes tattoos and i would have been like no pass yeah he was just two guns i know right right on his rib cage um yeah i uh i gave i gave ship uh access to to Liz and Katie and there are some great guys on ship I haven't looked at it since I downloaded it you should look I forgot until just now oh wow yeah Katie matched me with like a lot of like really cute dudes good okay I kind of like it over here but um yeah I think that having your

friends screen your people for you because like it's it's impossible to know when you're on the inside of it the people that I've watched my friends date luckily everyone that my friends are dating right now i like which almost never ever happens it's because i think we've all been traumatized that we're like oh yeah we had a great conversation this weekend with some of amelia's friends about well first we should we talk about what a fucking weird weekend we had can we please i was hoping we would okay i didn't know if you wanted to talk no i do so we celebrated amelia's birthday this weekend and on saturday we started out out of our it wasn't it started to get weird and then we left friday that was friday oh friday geez oh god this week you're

right it was a long weekend friday we the second bar we go to we go out on the patio and we there's like three rows it's like a grid of nine tables and we sit in the one dead in the middle because it's the only one that's empty and it's like the most well lit as well and just so the second we walked into this bar everyone was staring at us and i'll also paint this with a little bit more like context like i was also on mushrooms not like i wasn't like crazy like tripping and seeing visuals or anything i just had like the kind of giggly energy and um immediately everyone's staring at us i'm sitting next to amelia's friend kimmy who i've met a few times and um i was like is it just me and she's like no it's not just you or the shrooms like

people are definitely staring at us it was weird and then there was like a table of guys everyone every guy there was in plaid yeah and they were just they stared at us when we sat down and i was just like yes we can see you staring at us are you gonna like talk are you just all going to silently stare at us it was weird as fuck it felt like we walked into like into like a holiday party like we like we're supposed to be out there it really seemed like we were interrupting an event and it's not like we were especially loud or anything we just we had our drinks we walked outside we were clearing the table so we could sit at it and everyone was just like gawking at us and um so we're kind of just like you know chatting and then this guy comes in

hot and sits down next to us and he gives like a little elevator pitch spiel about who he is and then he stops like and what are your guys names and then i was like i'm so sorry i totally thought that you were about to tell us like we and we're interrupting an event and we have to leave or something he was like no you guys are the event and um and then i was like what do you mean he was like you're the event like you're a bunch of beautiful ladies who walked in and like sat down and every that's why everyone's staring at you and i was like wait so this fucking guy notices everyone's staring at us too it's not just us yeah so i was like you know also being a high on mushrooms i was like this guy's got facts no like we like he recognized it and then

i mean it was also we were like i was trying very nicely to be like he was like so what brings you out and i was like we're having a ladies night like to just try and be like leave it's it we just want it to be us right now like i don't think yeah none of us were really looking to like no one was had was putting out the vibe that they wanted to be like hit on it was just like a night out with our with our girls like for Amelia's birthday yeah like right and then within seconds we're surrounded by a bunch of like weird dudes and I can say they're weird now I didn't initially think that maybe they were weird I just like turned and then suddenly there were all these fucking guys like closing in on us it literally I described it as like it felt like we were like

sparkly bait like yeah dangling in the darkest part of the ocean have you seen that video you've probably seen it's all over the internet of the guy that's like the kitten runs up to him and he's like where did you come from yeah and then a bunch come out that was exactly what it felt like he was like he was like oh oh no they're just like what am i gonna do with all of them flying out of that was exactly i wish they were kittens but yeah it was literally it was like that and then um one guy was his name was steve and he was especially creepy so the way that we were sitting is amelia was on the end and i was right across from her and then um amelia's friend sarah was on the other side of her so she's like left like maybe like four inches between the end of the

bench and herself and this guy is like almost on top of sarah that's how close he is sitting to her and she's like i have a bubble and you're in it so like can you scoot over and he's like i'm trying to get closer to amelia and he said that to like everyone he's like i'm just trying to get closer to amelia and then she was like okay well then you can go on to the other side and talk to her and he's like well will you just switch seats with me and she was like absolutely not so then he goes over to the other side of Amelia and I like lean over he like you're having a conversation with Sarah yeah and Amelia's body is fully turned away from him like her shoulders up she is giving off so much energy and body language that she is uncomfortable and does not

want to be having this conversation and he like is sitting on like this tiny corner she because she had barely left any room because she didn't want anyone to pull that shit that this guy's pulling and sit next to her uninvited and i could tell that one because i know you and i was also like high so i was just like wait am i watching like a movie right now like are we watching like failed pickup artists i don't know it was insane especially as like it was already weird and then being high i was like this is very weird so he sits down next to amelia and is like sandwiching her essentially and she is like clearly like doesn't want to talk to him and then i don't even know how i ended up like saying this to him i it started out normal it started out as a normal

conversation and i was like wait why do you he's like i was like wait why are you sitting here and he's like i wanted to get closer to amelia and i want to talk to her it was very weird yeah so then i was like um i was like i was like well she's trying to have a conversation with someone else and then um he's like yeah and then she was like i hear liz go are we experiencing the same reality right now well i was sincerely confused so i don't remember saying that i was like i was like wait but like are you seeing her body language because i didn't know if he like sincerely wasn't noticing i was like do you see her body language like she's turned away from you she didn't leave any room on the bench like because she didn't want someone to come sit next

to her like you are so she she obviously doesn't want to be talking to you or having whatever conversation you're trying to have with her and then um he's like yeah that's really interesting yeah and then like agreeing with me and then i was like but then you can so you can tell that she doesn't want to be talking to you he's like yeah and then i was like so then why are you i said why are you here like what what are you doing like what's your goal between you and sarah he just sat next to the two worst sarah was just being like straight up like fuck off and then i'm just like high and confused i was not trying to be mean at all i was just like wait how can you not like how do you not notice this like this can't be your first time talking to a woman

so i was and then he was like yeah that's really interesting well it was nice meeting you and he stormed off and i was like i was dumbstruck because i was just like i said high and like confused i was like trying to assess like what is this man experiencing where he like this he thinks this is gonna work or his normal behavior yeah yeah and then kimmy's next to me like cracking up oh my god it was so fucking funny liz i was like it was truly serving him on accident the strangest series of events ever as that conversation was happening with steve i look over at the table on the other side of us another plaid table and they looked like they were our age though yeah or like and they were waving waving us over and i was like no there's no room

and they were like okay well we'll come over there as we're like very clearly actively trying to like deal with the current situation i wonder if they were trying to get them to fuck off maybe but i also was kind of getting like they were serving the same kind of energy yeah i was like like also this bar if you live in seattle kings it's like the place you go and you're like already blacked out it's very i don't know this as a non-native i really really love kings normally because like the type of attention you normally get at kings is just like everyone's drunk and just wants to be friends you know yeah the times i've been to kings i've only been there a few times and i haven't had that kind of experience a weird fucking well so then it made me just kind

of think like what like how strange maybe we all have emerged post pandemic and then we're met with like just really like creepy like bottom feeder energy dudes who are just like trying to fuck and clearly not picking up on like any body language or any of the polite things that we've said to basically say like can you not talk to us right now because this is like not the energy this isn't like a conversation we're inviting right they just like i was like is everyone like oblivious so i was like i don't know i was like okay so some people came out just like horny and slimy and then some of us came out like um oh yes i had a spiritual awakening while trapped inside for a year like yeah i forget how it's really i forget how to be in public

it took me a long time to warm back up to being out and about and i feel like that was everyone so this combination of just like none of us know how to be in public yeah now is like really coming to fruition because i also think women probably feel a little bit more empowered to be like fuck off yeah yeah i also think like people being forced i mean one can hope people being forced to like be online so much and having like all of these conversations around like consent and like people kind of being forced to like educate themselves because we had nothing else to do for so long that like maybe they're getting better about it but I don't know also I just realized like I um spread the good word about the podcast every single time I drink oh yeah so maybe

you met us that night I was just like yeah if you met us that night Amelia was pitching us to any drunk man she could find I was mostly just yelling if they well if they had the balls to approach us Amelia was like well we actually have a podcast be like we have a sex podcast and they'd be like oh what is it about I'm like sex but really obvious now they're gonna listen and learn a few things Steve I think Steve or their other friend whose name I didn't get was like so like do you guys know each other like us women and I was like no we just met you said that yeah I said we all walked in and we're like oh you're a hot girl should we all just go outside and sit at this table and then one of one of them was like do you guys have like a special call

and I was like yeah only hot girls can hear it that's really funny I didn't hear that oh man yeah but it was a good night that was that was a really fun night Friday was it was fun it was weird as fuck it was exactly what I wanted being high I was like yeah this is this is uh going in the memory bank we have a fun story that we want to read this is a listener story that I have read Amelia has not. I'm so excited. So it's titled Funny Fact About Me. Hi Liz and Amelia. My name is Penelope. I have been binge listening to this podcast since I saw a TikTok on this and I'm on episode 61 and heard the amusing butt plug story and felt the need to share mine. But there is a backstory to this. Picture it. Sicily 1922. I thought that was really funny. So back during

the height of the pandemic i was dating this guy who i learned was not good for me but i learned the quality of knowing love languages i am quality time and acts of service and he was money spent it did not go well he would buy me things not to spend money on me and i ended up ending it i was not i was not sexually happy in the relationship because he ended up turning me off and then during the height of covid he was like i don't believe in masks and that was the final straw and i ended up breaking up with him word word word i was working a lot due to transitioning jobs and this was when hamilton was coming out on disney plus and i have a huge crush on lynn manuel understood so i decided to stay up one day after work and drink and watch hamilton

after it was over i did not see how much i drank it was then i learned that i have drunk way too much i then had so much pent-up sexual energy that i needed to let out no matter what i did I was not able to get off so I had the bright idea to use one of my g-spot toys as an anal toy I learned in a minute or two later that that was a bad idea I got up in a rush to look for the toy and it was nowhere on the bed so I googled what to do and it said to squat it out after trying for five minutes I googled the nearest hospital near me because I live downtown thinking they would not be far each hospital was five miles apart no i then call non-emergency and i'm like here's my name and here's what i have going on the ambulance got here within five minutes or so ambulance no

as i am heading to the hospital the emts or medics calmed me by saying since covid this has been happening a lot they're just happy i used a toy instead of food i told them hamilton was uh good i told them hamilton was good though and worth it and we all laughed i then got to the hospital i texted my sister who i did not think would be awake that i was in the hospital for non-covid reasons and that i would be okay she immediately texted me freaking out i then ended up telling her and she was able to say this was the most fourth of july shit i have ever heard sending laughing emojis and gifts she then came to the hospital once i learned that i would need surgery oh god i know i then go up to surgery and tell the nurses what happened they told me

i had made their day and they love when people come in with these stories i got back i got the toy back and ended up throwing it away lol that's a memento yeah seriously you should have put that in a shadow box i love being able to laugh about it now i just learned the hard way not to put anything that does not have a string or flare on it um but listening to you guys is amazing i'm going to be sad when i get caught up and i'm not able to binge listen and day drink and clean to your voices while i paint or clean anytime y'all are in raleigh north carolina seltzers are on me thanks penelope holy fuck i want to hang out with you so bad penelope that was such a fucking hilarious story thank you for blessing us with that and the fact that it's like because

uh she was so turned on by lynn i get it though man that dude is spicy i don't oh i love him so much but yeah no i've never thought of like masturbating to him maybe i will now maybe if i need new material i'll i'll turn on hamilton well and then now you know make sure you use something with like a flange at the end yeah if you decide to do anything with your butt i really love how you told that story that was such a good fucking story i got into character yeah as someone who also has had a butt thing yeah in there yeah yeah you get it mr liz and i were recently talking about that because i kind of had forgotten about it yeah right i know you said that when you brought it up you're like the titanic moment oh my god the

titanic that's what he said it was like he was like it was like watching the titanic because half of it went in and then he's like no no that was so painful it was more painful when he was trying to get it out than me actually getting it out yeah i believe it because it's like tickling yourself you can't tickle yourself oh yeah you can't have someone else putting their fingers in your asshole unless you know that's what's happening right yeah a little bit of a warning would have been nice that is so funny anyway thank you so much penelope for sending us that story that was phenomenal um cool should we end on this note i think we should great well thanks for listening yeah we love you so much remember to check out our merch our youtube our tiktok tiktok

instagram twitter our own tiktok instagram and twitters oh yeah i forgot about that amelia samson on all of them uh liz ball so hard on instagram and tiktok and liz t ball on twitter i haven't been as active on so you're like staring at me i'm just like i'm trying to not be on social as much because it's making me depressed that's good that's really really good that you're setting those boundaries for yourself anyways we love you we love you our children beautiful is the dance hunch oh my god