The Hoely Hour - E92 T*tty With French Fries

Episode Date: June 25, 2022

Welcome to Hot Trash Summer! Liz and Amelia discuss the questionable concept of "vabbing" and how to accurately conduct a scientific study. Let's talk about the d-word. No not dick, the other scary d-word: depression. Plus Liz gets high and does a mad lib with Amelia, as a treat (for Liz, mostly). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills. But it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.

Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12-month plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. C-terms. I'm high now. I have entered space. welcome to the holy hour i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball and we're back at liz's recording

yeah we're back in the pussy palace I have decided to call it hell yeah just now you came just a bunch of pussies the all four of us I'm loving this so much I have Gatsby on my lap it's Amelia's best the best day of her life like actually the best day of my life Gatsby's very particular about how he sits in laps and he's just excited to be in Amelia's lap right now he's he's happy to show off um he loves let he's a he's a lap cat it's oh yeah he's entering his little bat pose oh my god i love him so much give him a little scritch give him a scritch for the the viewers you know what oh my god look at his happy little face he's real happy and you got those long nails yeah i haven't had them in like a couple months so they're like oh aren't these

fun yeah I feel like a circus clown they're so cute they they're adorable they remind me of my purse my black purse with the colored tassels yeah I found I was looking for like fun colors online and I found like it was like an ad for nail polish like to show how many colors they have and I was like I will do that all of them please I will do that exact hand I love that um so yeah so I moved this weekend uh we're gonna be honestly we will probably be here for like a few more weeks yeah um so it'll be interesting to see how the vibe changes it feels like old times it does i like it me too i like your apartment oh thanks the air just feels clean it's probably all the plants me crying keeps the air humid sorry i'm just making sure the levels

uh so last night i was playing stardew valley um which i have played on my computer uh but i downloaded it for my switch and sadly i had to start my farm all over well it's kind of exciting though yeah yeah i'm like i'm overwhelmed but i know things now you know it's like getting a new job you're like okay i know how to fucking do this for sure you're a veteran farmer now exactly um and i need to let i know how to date people in the game now so now i don't have to waste my time because in my last one i had a boyfriend and a girlfriend yeah so it was dating sebastian and abigail for anyone who's curious it's like the two goth people so there are characters that are the same in every yeah yeah so it's all the same storyline

but how you like make your farm and how you make money and what you're good at all that is like up to you anyways so i was like making my character and i was started typing in a name uh mr liz was like just don't name it after like my ex or something and I was like why would I do that why would I do that to myself and then he was like I don't know maybe uh he's like but also you probably don't know the names of my exes and then I looked at him like you underestimate me yeah it's like okay and he was like name my high school girlfriend and I immediately was sudden you knew it oh my god that's amazing and he was like oh and then i i just started cackling and i was like do you remember any of my ex's names and he was like uh i remember uh

the one of them and then i was like okay so you don't and he's like i just can't think of his name right now and i was like so you don't know his name is what you're telling me and then he was like i'll think of it later i just know it's something silly and he's right i thought that was really funny oh that's it's amazing i saw your tweet about um trying to find your uh instructors spotify because you liked her playlist yeah and you were like this is a moment for me because i actually can then you found it by going through her friends list i was just not gonna give up no hell no and i really do men are always like women are fucking crazy we're born with this ability okay yeah i just and it is my toxic trait that i'm not gonna give up something once i

put my mind to it that's that is not only a toxic trait it is a very positive trait thank you you're tenacious thank you you hold on which is what you believe in and you don't let go until you get it and that's why you're as successful as you are thank you so fuck the haters yeah fuck fuck you haters no one gave me any flack for that honestly if there are any haters ever if you were to be come a hater if you're thinking about becoming a hater fuck you stop in the name get help stop get on oh i had a thought we were talking about uh haters oh oh it wasn't a thought i'm just gonna plug our socials follow us on instagram tiktok twitter at the holy hour subscribe to us on patreon for early access to uh episodes and also you don't have ads on the episodes um and then

send us your special stories please please email us holy hour podcast at gmail.com we love hearing from you and check out our summer merch oh my god our summer merch is so cute i'm so excited to get ours i'm gonna exclusively wear it which should not be a shock because i wear the same three things i'm just gonna rotate something new into into my three things that i wear if it if it gives any of you a vote of confidence i was really channeling like barbie 90s like vibes with like beachy barbie vibes with everything yeah and i just kept imagining myself wearing some of this like hot pink stuff like out and about hell yeah and i honestly i'm kind of obsessed with the um the men's like shorts oh yeah the i think they're swim trunks no they're just athletic shorts they're

all over print yeah yeah yeah i'm i might make mr liz wear those oh fuck yeah that would be really funny if i just bought us matching attire and like made him wear it with me honestly i'm i think i'm gonna do that you should there's i cannot imagine anything cuter honestly than you guys wearing matching holy hour merch if we dressed up like barbie and ken yeah for summer activities the merch was liz's brainchild and it's so fucking cute thank you it's it looks so good and i'm really hyped i think we're all like ready for hot girl summer too so for hot trash summer i don't want to like talk about moving a million times because it's gonna get really sick to hear about but i feel like renewed like hearing about summer now i'm in a new space that i'm like hot girl

summer is not fucking ready for me and you got a rooftop deck i have a rooftop deck if i had a rooftop deck every day would be summer i it does not matter if it's raining i would be out there in shorts and sunglasses i'm just i'm so yeah i'm so i'm so excited for summer like before when i was at the old place i wasn't and now like just hearing you say hot girl summer i was like oh and the sun's out today yeah god it's so pretty here i definitely am feeling the photosynthesis oh me too um okay should we dive into like something yeah so i have one thing me too that i sent you but we need to discuss we need to have a full discussion i don't know if you watched it oh my god um i know exactly what you're gonna say so i'm gonna play it i'm gonna download it

and i'll drop it into um the episode this is from old loser in brooklyn on tiktok and i'm just gonna play it okay we need to talk about vabbing because i've seen one too many ads for pheromone perfume and that's not it. I'm gonna tell you why. Pheromones are like a secreted chemical hormone and every person's pheromones smell different to different people and in the wild animals like secrete their pheromones to attract mates and I swear if you vab you will attract people like a day a one night stand or you'll just get free drinks all night. Elwood should have been teaching vabbing instead of the bend and snap. It's more effective and you're just gonna have to hear me out trust me. Get up there give them a swipe. You don't have to be like fresh

out of the shower clean but relatively clean dab vab behind the ears on the wrists maybe a little on the neck I don't know what they're putting in pheromone perfume but it can't replicate your own smell and your own personalized chemicals proceed with caution because it works by the way I learned this from the secret keepers podcast a couple of years ago shout out Emma and Carly okay she learned it from the secret keepers podcast so I'm gonna have to check out that episode because I was having so many mixed thoughts and feelings while watching this first i was like what the fuck is babbing like what like i had no idea that it was yeah i was like what is it what is she gonna say and then when she did her fingers and she's like and just get up in there i was like oh she means

your vagina vagina dab yeah so basically you would just swab in there and dab it all over yourself and I was like I understand why that might work but also I'm upset yep that's my exact takeaway I'm like that is it is both brilliant but I don't want to say like disgusting but like kind of see I don't want my vagina juice on my behind my ear and on my wrist I just don't that would be the same as if you were doing your saliva in my opinion like i still think that's like not a good idea and is kind of weird and gross i agree but i agree with you that it does make sense i mean like biologically like just because it makes sense does that mean you should do it no yeah because like stealing makes sense you have to save money doesn't mean you should do it i mean

sometimes you should do it you didn't hear that here though allegedly you should steal go communism i'm just kidding um yeah don't don't know how i feel i like the curious side of me wants to like experiment and try that but then the normal side of me is like no i'm not gonna walk around with that i'm not gonna do that here's i'm not gonna do that and not feel ashamed and a little gross i have been fine my whole life without babbing you know that is a very good point however i am curious about pheromone perfume like i am i am curious about it i have pheromone perfume and i have never noticed a difference we should wear it out on saturday yeah okay what happens okay i'm down you can't act on it but i can we could do this is hypothetical i'm not

actually gonna do this i was gonna say we could do a controlled test where we have someone who does the vaping and someone who does the pheromone perfume and then someone who does nothing at all because there always needs to be or someone with like a placebo yeah uh perfume and then um and then we'd have to test it on different i guess that would be controlled we would have to stop off we'd have to do two nights like i would bab and then you would do pheromone perfume and then the next night you would bab and i would do pheromone perfume and then see what happens but even then that's not controlled we need to do it within we'll do it within like a vacuum of a night yeah we'll do nothing and then we'll like go back in the bathroom bab it up come out and

see what happens that is as controlled as this is gonna get what is the equivalent for people who don't have vaginas just like oh like when your gooch sweats yeah gucci sweat oh my god like if i walked by a dude and i was like you smell like sweaty ball sack you smell like a ball sack it's not i mean like i can't think of something maybe like armpit sweat maybe but still that's i i don't know who i have no idea that's a very good question I'm still above the mindset like if you just get a perfume that you like and like kind of complements your natural smell like because everyone has kind of like a natural type of smell yeah for me it's vanilla vanilla like I pull vanilla on on all perfumes like it kind of

has that undertone and i love vanilla but um it's hard i don't know yeah i think that's just like how you should do it yeah and then also like if someone is attracted to you they're just going to be attracted to you yep they don't need to like get up in your vagina and smell hey girl can i smell that pussy if they want to they care if you give them permission to they can get up in there yeah you know i'm telling you now that you have consent i just swipe that nose like a credit card i need to look at the comments on this because i can't process while you're doing that i'm gonna see if i can find anything about it elsewhere someone said i'm on my period but i'll give it a go which is really funny

and then someone else said what in the gwyneth paltrow that is so that's yeah very very gwen it really is this is screaming goop wow health line wrote about this well and good.com i had a friend do this for job interviews she'd also schedule them when she was ovulating oh no that's so fucked oh my god holy shit i fucking hate that i'll be honest i i fully love being a woman but i just i don't want to do that i don't like it no no me neither i'm against it it's everywhere i just typed in vabbing and there's like all of these how did we not know about i want someone else to do it so i know like i want to know how it works and like what their experience was but i just oh if i wasn't so aware of feeling like dirty you know well maybe now that i'm on adderall it

won't it won't bug me as much because it was like a sensory thing for me like my hair was like a little dirty i like could not focus maybe i i might be able to maybe i'll vab for the pod will you really i might i'll think about it okay i'll see i mean i keep i keep the southern region clean you know what i mean i have good hygiene it also cleans itself isn't that pretty amazing yeah the inside cleans itself the outside very easy to clean i also use um loomies uh a vagina deodorant oh interesting it's actually incredible i might need that for my dance classes oh i haven't talked about this on the podcast i can't believe i haven't talked about this i have been taking pole dancing classes how's it been it's been a lot of fun it's like um not a

lot of dancing just learning like techniques and stuff cool um i already knew it was hard but it's way harder than I even imagined um but I like the physical challenge while also like doing something like outside of my comfort zone good for you for signing up for this thanks this is dope it's been a good time it's a pretty small class I've been going to I think it's called like vertical pole I don't know that sounds right yeah that is what it is uh but it yeah it's just like an intro class and you have to take their intro class before you can take anything else so it's not even like a beginner course so that's what I've been doing on Wednesdays after after work that's amazing are there people in the class that can't get up on the

pole we haven't done anything where we need to do that okay yeah it's very beginner we learn we've been learning like floor work and just like different like little cute little things you can do and then just like very simple pole moves and the pole stuff is so fun yeah it's so fucking fun i mean like i feel like strippers like are have done such a good job capitalizing on like horny awful men yeah like it's like better for them that they're like so slobbery about it because they get so much money they get paid out the ass and they should because it is hard work i feel like pole dancing too is becoming more um like widely accepted did you see that video of the woman that um was teaching pole dancing at a retirement home oh yeah it's just the

happiest thing ever they were all so fucking into it yeah they were just everybody got on the pole everyone was having so much fun and it's like yeah it's cool you cannot change that about being a human it is just fun to swing around a pole yes absolutely firefighters do it yeah maybe not in the same not for the same reasons but tell me they're not having a good time they're having a great sliding sliding down that pole they could take they could take a slide i can guarantee you if they knew some stripper moves and i'm sure some of them do so i'm sure some of them have learned that the stripper moves but you can't tell me if they were good at that that they wouldn't be like pirouetting down that fucking pole business idea actually firefighters you can use this as

like a fundraiser why don't y'all open up a firefighter strip club you already know how to go down the pole and you can donate all of your tips to like i don't know cats stuck in trees well i'm glad that it's been so fun i commend you for trying something new because um that's always really scary trying something new well and i i know i've like sort of talked about how i have been feeling but like not in super detail because i also kind of think maybe people just already know if they read your twitter yeah they'll know that i'm sad sort of uh whatever you want to call it existentially sad um but i've just been like trying to not feel this way so i was like what are some things that i can do to at least like

help like to help my brain do something different because I do the same shit every week and it's it still is exhausting to me and then I'm like how did I accomplish so much before the pandemic like this I'm not performing at my peak and I'm not used to that yeah and um I just thought like i'd always wanted to try pole dancing because it looks fun and challenging and i was like fuck it i'm just gonna do it i'm just gonna sign up for it and it was a good deal it was like 100 bucks for four classes that's unbelievably cheap yeah so are you gonna continue it after probably it just depends on my schedule is tomorrow your last day oh i'm graduating intro to pole so i'm so proud of you thank you but seriously like it's so it's not easy to be feeling sad and like do

everything that you can to feel better like that's not yeah it is like really fucking difficult to do so I give you a lot of credit thank you it like bleed it it just yeah it kind of bleeds into every corner of my life like how I've been feeling and it's stressful and hard and it makes me feel like um a bad partner sometimes because I don't want it to feel like it's anyone else's responsibility so I just try my best to manage it I think that that's really um something that is like universal is like feeling like your sadness is like inconveniencing people when in reality like the people that love you like it's not an inconvenience and just trying to understand it yourself oh my god it's fucking impossible like you can't verbalize it no like even just

saying how you're feeling like like existential dread like you don't it's so hard to verbalize if i was a soul who chose to be here why this shit sucks and if i knew it was gonna suck i'm mad at myself for doing this in the first place i don't know when i talked to an energy healer she said that like our souls like travel through lifetimes to like learn shit you know and like it it feels very like i don't know like hippie woo woo but like it makes so much sense that like a soul would like keep traveling through lifetimes and then you have these like um oh my god what did she call them soul guides yes soul guides like you have like the soul guides like helping you kind of move along because like so like traditionally that would be considered a

guardian angel yeah um but i think that it makes so much sense because it's like just i don't i just thought of this like hearing you say like i was a soul that picked to be here why the fuck and it's like i really think that it's like shit the universe like gives you shit to teach you shit and like again that's very cliche but i think that like trying to pay attention to like what and I do this all the time I'm not giving you this advice but like trying to pay attention to like why shit is happening or like what it's trying to show you is always kind of cool you know like you just in like a small sense have like tried this new thing that you've always wanted to try like that's dope like you don't know what that's gonna like do for you maybe like meet someone in

class that like becomes like really important to you you know what I mean it's like all of this shit opens up doors for other shit and I think that that's kind of dope to think about and it's the only way that i don't go absolutely fucking insane when i'm feeling depressed is by being like this is showing me something i'm learning something and it's always true i'm always i always come out the other side like okay dope and then if anyone is like what is liz even actually going through it's just life uh there is not even anything specific i can point at as to why i don't like why I feel kind of like shit um and I feel way less like that today I feel pretty good today but um it's I would definitely say it's a combination of like being very overwhelmed

and depressed about how so many things are hard and complicated and need to be fixed and they just won't be at least not within my lifetime and yeah feeling really helpless about that and then being like everything sucks depression is really sinister that way yeah like there's no it's like you have every reason to be happy so like why aren't you like that was something that I had some family members be like when I was feeling really depressed they were like they said that exact thing they're like but not in like a kind way they were like well you you have every reason to be happy so like what's what's wrong it's like that's the fucking thing yeah that's not how that works it's brain chemistry is being like um bitch you thought you were happy and no um because like

there's serotonin bouncing around in your brain and your brain is like nah none of that for me thank you because that's i'm full thanks yeah thank you no happiness over here but it's really frustrating because it's like as humans we want to logicize shit but there's no logic with depression because that's all that it is it's depression there isn't a lot of logic with emotions like but that also doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid right and that's really hard for people that aren't going through depression to understand but i know that there are people listen i don't know if i don't know if you're going to keep this in but i think i hope that you do um it's obviously your choice but i hope that you do because like i know that there are

people listening that are probably like oh my god thank god somebody else is feeling like that because it's like while you don't want other people to be feeling like shit there's something so comforting when you're depressed to know that you're not the only person that feels like that because it's like oh okay you're reminding me of something else that i've seen recently fuck i wish i had it saved it was a tiktok um a girl was saying that she she was reading an excerpt from like i don't know if it's a book or a blog or what but um it's called wash the dishes twice and she was reading it and the woman who authored it was saying um she saw her therapist and didn't really have anything to talk about and he was like well what is challenging you today

and then she was like the dishes which sounds so stupid because all i have to do is wash them but they've been piled up by the sink and now they're greasy and cold and it's going to take longer to wash them so i've just been avoiding it and then uh because you'll have to wash them before you put them in the dishwasher and then he was like just run the dishwasher twice and then she was like what and then he's like run it twice when it run it three times run it however many times you need to to walk make your dishes clean so then that's what she did she went home and ran the dishwasher three times and then they were clean and then that inspired her to start doing other things like when it comes to like showering and self-care she would lay down in the shower instead of like

being like oh I'm too tired to take a shower I just don't want to do that right now just showering laying down and step by step you get your life back by making accommodations for yourself and I so the more I engage with videos like that the more I see them obviously and I saw another one right before you came over i actually saved it um so i can say who who uh shared it her name is emily breath b-r-u-t-h and she talks about how to make things easier when you have burnout so this could also like apply to you know those depression lulls but just having like easy foods so things that don't require any preparation things that don't require dishes or just like eating off of paper plates or paper towels so you don't have to do dishes so like doing little

shit like that see the reason I don't do shit like that is because I make myself feel bad about like not eating wasteful yeah and not eating perfectly yeah being wasteful but we need to give ourselves some fucking grace like you can't be perfect all the time yeah that's something that you can't function or help other people if you can't help yourself totally you can't pour from an empty cup that's what people always say yeah my therapist always reminds me whenever i'm feeling like really fucking overwhelmed she's like list what you have to do and i start listing it and like as i'm saying it i'm like i don't need to be doing all of this shit you know what i mean and like one of the big ones that sticks out in my mind is like whenever i'm about to leave for

vacation leaving for vacation no matter where oh my god do you add extra shit to your plate yeah that and i feel like i have to make my house spotless before i leave me too and because i don't want to come back to a dirty house but i was saying that to my therapist and she was like who gives a fuck if you come back to a dirty house it's fine you're gonna be so tired at the end of your trip anyway you aren't even gonna notice that the house is clean it's just don't clean and I was like ah okay but it's like you don't think about this shit because like when you start like stressing out about like oh I have to take a shower I have to like cook I have to do my dishes it's like all of that you think in terms of just like the most difficult way to get all

this shit done because it's already such a big pile that it's just like oh my everything is really hard and everything is going to take a long time to do and when you like sit down and really break it down and think about like what are what are my priorities here like if I leave a dish on a dish in the sink over the weekend like is it gonna mold over and like make my house unlivable no leave the dish in the sink it'll be okay it will be okay so yeah things like that and then another thing that she lists is like having a capsule wardrobe ready like just really easy clothes um and then uh like a template text to send people when you're overwhelmed and they invite you out for plans also all this is very prepared i like i was like well first i need to be

responsible enough that i can do all of this to like do your future self a favor well and then she was like just think of like think of recurring tasks so you're not surprised so like doing the dishes which is as we all know my biggest life's burden i mean i feel like it's everyone's because it's just like the second you put one cup in the sink it's game over from there i just need a dishwasher yeah you do this wasn't an issue when i had one well of course not i mean okay but here's the thing i have a dishwasher and it's still an issue for me my plates pile up like crazy in my sink i'm like why but is there like a like an electric fence between the sink and the dishwasher you need to live without one for longer so then you know my struggle oh i do you'll never take

one for granted again that's how i feel about laundry right now because i don't have i don't have a laundry machine right now and internet do you have internet is your place supposed to have laundry it's okay okay it's 7 a.m should we play mad libs yeah hold on i have a i learned about something this weekend a kink that i had never heard of oh i don't know if it's a kink baby maybe it is um without going too far into detail someone that um i know from high school who was like very like um i'm like what are you about to tell me he was like a like a skateboard kid you know just like one of those like kind of whatever skateboard bro skateboard bro he now has an only fans um where his niche is sticking things up his pee hole no

i had never heard of this thing really i don't know what the name is you've heard of it i mean i know people are disgusting it's like a catheter like but not a cath it's like other things sticking things i don't have a penis and that makes my penis hurt urethra well can you imagine sticking something up your pee hole no that would hurt like a bitch oh oh it's called urethral sounding actually i feel like i've heard that before this practice involves inserting a glass or metal object or fluid into the urethra the aim is to enhance sexual pleasure by encouraging your partner to explore your penis in several ways there's just no way so how big of a masochist do you need to be seriously to be like i like how this feels i just can't is that what a

masochist is when it comes to physical pain probably yeah yeah yeah i should know this i don't you always just hear s and m together i always have to remind myself which one's which oh sadism and masochism there we go right and masochism is personal pain right yeah and then the sadist likes performing pain i i mean like people like pain in bed i just had never heard yeah like spanking maybe a face slap i told you when i tried that right the face slap yeah recently no a while ago when you were like i like my face flapped i told mr liz that and i was like i'm curious if i would like that so we tried it did you like it no i hated it he hit me a little too hard it's a it's very jarring when they hit you too hard yeah it kind of like knocks the air

out it was like a bonk yeah and then he like missed like not he wasn't hitting me on the cheek he hit me like oh side of that face i was like are you mad at me because is this abuse now there's an art it's like a a grab and slap yeah maybe we need to practice the old grab and slap um i'm going on a date with a doctor tomorrow are you excited i am i know i'm from college and that's that i said that i would never talk about dates on here until date three and I've kept true I've kept true to that uh-huh I have done a good job but this is my first date with a doctor I'm just like wildly like I know I'm gonna become disappointed with them so I'm not getting my hopes up oh I know this is my thing like if I'm very very excited

about someone I tell like you and Katie and that's it like I don't talk about it anywhere else because like I don't want it to be I don't believe in like jinxing things yeah I was gonna say you don't want to jinx it yeah and i i've said this before but i feel like jinxing like being like oh i don't want to jinx it's just like you know getting a an excuse for why something doesn't work when a good thing goes bad yeah beautiful thank you thanks drake um i if if if people think you're a tough critic amelia is not the tough critic i am yeah liz is brutal so that's good i need some of that um if you want to date her you have to get through me first and she's not kidding she's not kidding okay so i am on my way to baloney town we're

gonna play mad libs and um so i'm gonna read it so this is how this is gonna work i'm gonna have liz fill out the mad libs and then once it's all filled out and she's adequately baloneyed um she's going to put water in her mouth and i'm going to try to get her to laugh at her own answers i love laughing at my own jokes so well should be hopefully very easy i'm loving this okay all right this joint was a dollar oh is it worth it i'm i'm like is this what the kids call mid okay all right are you ready for this verb which ones are verbs again sorry adjectives are you do a thing copywriter folks a verb is like a an action is it past tense or present tense sitting you were right okay that's kind of a boring adjective or do you want to give

me a different one yeah okay slapping all right okay name a time on the clock 420 i'm a child noun um bean plural noun dildos adjective fucking oh my god not ducking noun give me something dirty something dirty this is a sex anal beads adjective with est at the end with est like it's the most of this kinkiest um plural noun give me two plural nouns two plural nouns the next one's plural noun too butt plugs okay beer bongs we have an episode called butt plugs and beer bongs we do yeah it's one of an early ones wow i don't know all of the names i just remembered that one that's a good one to remember noun there's a lot of fucking nouns here there's three more two more after this uh titty okay another noun turkey i don't know throw it in there why not um okay

another noun what what what do you want what kind of noun just just give me like a give me two like disgusting nouns um this one i'm gonna say it's not disgusting i'm gonna say strap on okay that's what i just thought of all right and they give you like a gross one a gross noun yeah used condom verb uh schlarping schlarping what is that um skiing oh but a cooler word for it oh my god how many words do we need for that shred the gnar adjective mid adverb what's an adverb it's like um i'm a terrible copywriter it's like i write off vibes strictly it's like um slowly softly oh okay uh gingerly noun right out of nouns i know you gotta do two more nouns lube okay and can it be a formal noun sure uh dr seuss and then adjective this is the last one

make it good enormous did you know that there is a giant like group of mushrooms somewhere in america i think oregon and it's called the humongous fungus that's adorable i love that and now i call mr liz the humongous chungus i was about to say i was about to say humongous chungus humongous fungus chungus cute the humongous chungus fungus is the wart growing on his foot oh my god okay put water in your mouth okay what one more hit for old time's sake yeah for the road i'm not driving oh this is first day of school i slapped out of bed when my alarm clock fucks at 4 20 i don't want to be late for my first day of school i am so excited that i barely eat my bean for breakfast just just one bean the school bus is packed with

dildos all dressed in fucking clothes for the new school year my teacher's name is mrs anal beads everyone says she is the kinkiest teacher in school my teacher hands out books butt plugs and beer box before i know it it is time for lunch the cafeteria is serving titty with french fries i'm finding this funnier than you and turkey to drink at recess i swing with the strap on and play used condom in the field in math we schlarping problems that doesn't make any sense we play a lot of games so that we get to know other mid kids in our class the day goes by so gingerly finally the lube rings and we get

on the dr seuss to go home what the fuck sounds like an acid trip this is both it's like an acid trip porno yeah oh hell yeah it starts out as a porno and then you're like wait am i high yeah i would watch it i can't wait to tell my family all about my enormous first day wow that was pretty good that was pretty that was you my favorite part my highlight was i am so excited that i barely eat my bean for breakfast i barely ate my bean it's just i'm just picturing you with like one bean like in the middle of a big plate you know like a little fork slicing it up yeah what's wrong honey you've barely touched your bean you barely touched your used condom man well that was fun for me did you have fun i did

liz is in outer space right now do i have the high eyes yeah they just get sleepy happens when i drink too me too oh as i've gotten older i just go right to sleep after i drink just go home and go right to sleep that never happened before i used to want to party all night mad lib of the week same song different thing well and liz liz is um she's right she's ready zooted she's ready to um i'm waiting for amelia to leave so i can gorge on every single thing in my fridge oh that sounds so nice i'm going to therapy that also sounds really nice yeah i'm excited i have a lot to talk about this week um you're like Liz got high and ruined the podcast we broke up Liz got high it sounded like a good idea okay no it's fun I like it that's a fun idea Amelia thinks I'm

hilarious and that's all that matters god that was really fun for me maybe next week when we do it I'll just be like adequately drunk and then I'll do it okay we'll do it okay okay oh I like that okay this is our new thing um if you have any fun mad libs send it to our email at holy hour podcast at gmail.com uh we love you we love you our children