The Hoely Hour - E94 Whose Incel Is It Anyway?

Episode Date: July 8, 2022

Welcome to Amelia's poetry slam! The ladies talk about kindness after breakups when it no longer matters, followed by Incel Pickup Line reenactments! Also, if you need a new period tracking app, a listener recommends Stardust. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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May slow when network is busy. See terms. we make a good band are we starting a band welcome to the holy hour i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball and this is grandpa for everybody watching on the tube excited to be here be sitting between us he has a lot of topics today supervising yeah he's making sure the levels stay leveled huh grams yeah he knows he's doing a good job he's been training his whole life for this moment how old is he he is six he has six years of experience oh he's leaving oh he's like oh i don't want to be perceived which is he's like i he's

checking the lighting now yeah he was checking the sound before now he's checking the lighting he does it all folks before we transition follow us on oh yeah tiktok instagram twitter at the holy hour email us your splashy splashy stories and say hello and give us compliments at holy hour podcast at gmail.com join our patreon for early access and ad free episodes but also you can join if you just want to like show us some love if you are able to that's super great um join the discord and uh we just like hearing from you even if we don't respond because we it's we're busy we have jobs but unfortunately i would we would love if this was our full-time job which we'd give you guys so much fucking content if we could do this full-time i think

about that all the time oh speaking of which check out our merch oh yes our summer girl merch our hot girl summer merch it's also great for not just summer yeah i when i got my nails painted so they're hot pink um well neon pink and they glow in the dark but i got them fully feeling like this would they would look great with um our merch yeah that is the color yeah so and i've just been seeing like um the barbie clips and i just that is what i was envisioning for our merch so that's what i feel like it's giving it's giving barbie it's giving margot robbie is barbie yes ryan gosling is ken yeah oh my god you could be barbie and ken in our merch it's up to you um follow me on everything at amelia samson um you don't have to follow me

i'm miserable but if you want to i i am uh liz ball so hard on tiktok and instagram and liz t ball on twitter where you can catch me asking uh republicans questions about guns um how are you i'm i'm all right i had four days off in a row and you know how i was having like heart palpitations they finally went away oh good so it turns out not working and having a few days off wow just really did did me good don't need a phd for that one you know and i still talk to two different doctors yeah you know i was having how i feel i was having palpitations for a while and i had to wear a heart monitor around for like six weeks that's fun it was like taped right here and like it's just ignore him it's me it's so hard he's so cute it's me so i'm like i wear a

lot of low-cut shirts so it looks like i was like trying to like show off that i had a heart you know how like girls like go to the hospital and like wear their hospital bracelet around for a while so people ask i felt like you yeah that's embarrassing it was like a high school thing hey he's making sure he's making sure it's all in focus he's just checking he's doing his job liz liz and i went out on friday we had a bit of a girl's night i threw up if anyone was wondering she did she got a little crossy crossed yeah um word to the wise don't get cross-faded and eat before you go out yeah if you get

cross-faded eat something you know what does me in it's when i have it's when i drink before i do like have an edible or smoke so i need to do the edible first and then just sip a bevy yeah yes we i sometimes you just need a good reminder though yeah i haven't puked in a while that was that was a wake-up call you puked on my birthday yeah that was more of like I had I did I just made myself do it I didn't really like need it I was like maybe this will help and then it didn't no I was like that but it also helped me calm down I was like okay it didn't help I'm just a little too high yeah yeah yeah that's that's good so it serves a purpose yeah exactly and I think my body is also just used to like when I throw up I just have it in my head I'm gonna feel better

after yeah maybe it was a little bit of a mind thing well either way it made you feel better friday i was like that was that was some real puking and you know if it weren't for the the weed and the alcohol like the company the people that we met out that night might have still made you throw up yeah they were pretty nauseating we talked to 23 year olds for a while before realizing that they were racist Trump supporters what is wrong with young men I they were so insufferable and I was like have maybe that age group has always been insufferable maybe I was just like too drunk to notice how much they sucked or I don't know yeah I don't see I was really enjoying talking to the one that I was talking to before like you know they like exposed themselves

like he was great he wanted to be in sales and that like really tracked yeah um and I told him up front i'm like you're way too young for me but i'm enjoying talking to you so like we're just gonna chat and he was like okay so we were talking about like you guys don't look like you're in your 30s yeah blah blah blah and i was like well and then he like take a good look and fuck off he was like oh i would have guessed 25 not not that not that 30 is old like that's good that's a good catch i also gave him the name of this podcast so he might be listening but that was before i found you know you live and you learn but um so we're staying away from that bar so we learned a lot that night yeah uh mr liz was like where were you and i was like i have no idea it's the worst bar

if you live in seattle um this bar is called we're gonna get sued by this bar but i don't give a fuck it's called kangaroo and kiwi if you're familiar with this area at all you know to like stay away but our friend wanted to go in so we were like if anything we'll have a good story and all we got was bad stories yeah and that's on trusting your gut it would have been it was great people watching oh my god absolutely good people watching absolutely yeah i ran into someone i knew and then by the time i turned around my friends were gone that was a scary moment you followed her in she pulled me in well we were in the doorway so we're just like she'll find us there's only one way to go i came out i went outside and i did like a whole circle around

the other side before going to the side that you guys walked off to and it was like a king's night of like I felt like everybody was like watching me you know because I looked lost I looked like a kid that was like lost at the pool was like hello Liz I was like calling you but the phone wasn't ringing oh no that was a scary um where are my friends yeah I felt I felt like a lost child I was like can you guys talk over the PA so I can help me find my friends um but then once we found each other it didn't get any less scary so um don't go to bars that you know you shouldn't go to I'm remembering that we took a shot and oh my god I don't like shots the friends we were with were our shot people they really are like if we're gonna take a shot I have been over shots

for a long time yeah you see I went through a shot I feel like I'm exiting my shot phase I do i'm the kind of like i don't put any creamer in my coffee because first like it it makes me feel like i'm consuming more caffeine which is just not how it works so taking shots feels like i'm consuming more alcohol which is not true you're consuming it faster but i'm just like this is more bang for my buck it's not it's not you just end up feeling like shit yeah and we took it at the bar we ordered it took it at the bar and left the shot glasses at the bar we took that fast and had other drinks yeah yes you had to get one to go outside you know i only that was the rule no oh we were like i wouldn't be surprised if we need also a drink yeah we have to have something to

hold and a drink that was a wild night i'm glad we've been hanging out more outside of me too podcast that's what i was telling my therapist today yeah yeah that makes me happy it is nice yeah staying out with friends and like i needed i don't know if any of the other girlies felt like this, but I was just like, I don't want to be around men right now because I was thinking about it more and more because I did have the opportunity to go to hood with Mr. Liz and a couple of his guy friends who I do adore, but it was just like frustrating to know and be aware that men don't care about their women's rights being taken away because they don't have to they get the they get the option to not care and we don't like i don't know and when uh they

were kind of like talking about like how the fourth of july is just shit because it's not very we're all like not feeling very patriotic um uh one of them was like yeah it's a shitty time for women i was like it's a shitty time for a lot of people yeah like the way that white women are feeling now is like how people of color have felt always yeah yeah so i'm i don't know it's just like shitty yeah it really is so i was just like you know what i don't want to be around like white guys i love that i love my partner but and i love his friends and it's just it's different it feels it feels good being around other women right now like when we were at this that kangaroo and kiwi now that i've said the name i'm just gonna be saying it a bunch

maybe i'm just gonna call like everything that i hate kangaroo and kiwi yeah like that's a good idea like my dinner last night was totally kangaroo and kiwi you already don't like kangaroos fuck kangaroos do you like kiwi i love kiwi me too you know what's really underrated pears i've been thinking a lot about that lately pears are they are underrated super underrated the best fruit arguably solid fruit solid um what was i saying oh being around women yeah i start talking about pears and i just was like well we can play it back i just go blank um i like there when we were at kangaroo and kiwi we were sitting and talking about roe versus wade and then these guys walked up so it was like we were already point at us too like well let's go talk to these

girls and i was just like here we go it's like the last people we want to talk to right now but like i have so much appreciation for i have a lot of like mutuals on tiktok that are like that have a big platform that are men that are speaking up right now and not doing it in a way that's like um like virtue signaling you know they're not like I have appreciated the men that have been messaging me like hey just checking in like that means a lot you know rather than just like I can't this is an injustice you know it's like no I know we all we all think like that we all feel that way um what are you gonna do I like being checked up on and then also like the men with platforms that are like using it to speak out and like yell at people that are on it like

misinformed yeah that feels good there are way too many men that are like falling back into the like well this has nothing to do with me so yes yeah and i mean i think we all recognize kind of like the same uh behavior like pattern behavior when um there were just like a lot of black lives matter protest just about things like that yeah and that can be hard too like um there is a level of i i was watching something that was explaining like um the levels of like accountability and like kind of like um justice and the bottom level is like you shouldn't do this thing because you will be punished that's basic real basic like i'm not gonna do this bad thing because i don't want to get in trouble or i'm not going to do this illegal thing because i don't want to get in

trouble or like when people are like well i shouldn't have been doing this illegal thing it's like no no it's more complex than that yeah um like well you shouldn't have had a fake 20 dollar bill that's not something worth losing your fucking life over anyways uh but they were explaining like kind of the third level is where a lot of people get stuck where they are doing what they think is good because they want other people to perceive them as good they're not really thinking intentionally about is this thing like a good thing and i believe it and i feel it yes you know yeah that's a really good point not yeah so um they'll treat other people who are doing positive things like their virtue signaling because that person themselves that's how they

identify as like that's what they think doing the right thing is is virtue signaling to other people that they're good versus just like doing what is in the best interest of everybody for the sake of like safety yeah and equality yeah totally I know and it's really tough I think as humans to like find that line too of like why why am I doing this am I doing this for the right reasons I took a psychology of motivation class in college which is still like the I swear it's like the only class I learned anything I think about this class all the time but one of the things that we the first day class the professor was like can you think of a a human behavior that was not um that we didn't evolve with for a reason that like wasn't adaptive and somebody was like philanthropy

and she was like no that was a hundred percent a way that people belong and like try to like make themselves look like high and mighty and also like bond with other people so it's like always kind of been a self-serving thing regardless of like yeah it does help other people like doing like doing giving to charities helps a lot of people and this isn't to say that like everyone's doing it just like virtue signal but it's interesting that like the psychology of philanthropy is like very much so around belonging and I think that it's really difficult for us to recognize like yeah we have we do these things because we feel like it's right but like it's tough to find that line between like am I doing this because it's right or am I doing this because

i want to belong or like seem good and that's tough because it's like that shouldn't stop you from doing anything but i do think it's important to like look in like look at what you're doing and try to like recognize why you're doing it yeah like screaming at people about masks i'm like wearing a mask doesn't make you a good person makes you a smart person but it does not mean that you are like the all-knowing yeah omnipotent decider of who is good yeah and who is bad because most people are just functioning at their best every most people are trying their best and when you think of like all of the things that go into we've talked about this before all of the things that go into your decision making it every moment of your life has led up to the decisions that

you've made so if you were in that person's shoes born into their circumstances with their genetics and all that shit you probably make the same decisions as them yeah which also begs the question do we even have free will um anyways I'm having I think about that all the time I'm like well my entire background and upbringing the people I'm around and that's led to all my decision making and if I didn't if I had someone else's experiences like I'd probably make the same decisions they made and then that's why i'm like wait it's just really interesting to think like it's been interesting specifically with the mask thing to watch how people are perceiving people wearing masks because like in a lot of ways how that yeah that was also just like kind

of a random example no but it like goes back to the like are you doing this for the right reason because a lot of people were like if anything it's like a respect thing it's like a community it's a community facing thing and so that's another example of like a lot of the shit that we do is to like serve a community or like appear like you're serving a community and then like the people that were like anti-mask they're like trying to appeal to their community yeah exactly you know they're like posting videos of them like yelling at people in the fucking walgreens well i was just thinking um i had a friend in town who is he leads a lot of he's black he leaves a lot he leads a lot of black lives matter protests in la and he was in seattle and we went to go get

food and um i pointed to the restaurant we were going to i'm like oh there's so many black lives matter signs in the windows here and he was like yeah it's so their windows get don't get bashed in during protests oh and i was like how but it was like every single window they had a black lives matter sign like every single one and he's like they do that shit they do that shit so that they don't get like oh that makes me sad i know and it's like so that's another it's like you can be you can be an ally like your business can contribute to and i hope i don't know if they are or not doing other things other than just putting the signs in the windows but it's like you can do other things besides like being like a band-aid ally this is a good place to switch

gears into the poem okay so i found this poem on twitter somebody posted it and they were like just saw this poem i stopped dead in my tracks or something like that and i was like well then i'm gonna read it the poem's called the day of our divorce hearing you treated me to lunch a spaghetti place we had never been so kind to each other when you said i'm still a slob we laughed after lunch we stood in the parking lot you said you have the last word but i said no i'm tired of being the one who sums things up you get the last word but you couldn't think of one so off you went to our silver cat i to our red one it's three years later and even that's just a story now lately i don't feel as if i lived with you but i remember our kindness that day when it no longer

mattered which i thought i read this and i was like holy fuck because like there have been so many instances in at least with me where like i've gone through like a bitter kind of like ending with someone and then like years later we're like so kind to each other and it's like where was that like why weren't we able to be that way when it mattered and like now now we're able to just like treat each other like humans now that it doesn't matter anymore and like that just like stuck with me i read this poem like two months ago and i like haven't stopped thinking about it but I hadn't ever thought about it until I read it that like that's such a common experience for people to like not to be so so kind after the fact you know

yeah like it's like oh we're just you know what I mean I don't know because I've been thinking a lot about like the closure I've been having a lot of dreams about my ex I still am haunted by those kinds of dreams i fucking hate it how many years ago let's talk about x dreams real quick and then we'll talk about closure type yeah uh like those just kind of the book end experience yeah my god these dreams at first so when i first talked to my i probably said this on the podcast when i first talked to my therapist about i was like i don't i like i'm not i'm over it you know like why am i still dreaming about my ex and that's how I feel too she was like because he traumatized you and he's part of your life for so long yeah right that's basically she was like our dreams she's

like we don't know anything about dreams which is like the most frustrating part of dreams because you want answers but she said what we do know is that like we our dreams like they get constructed from a grab bag of our lives and he was a huge part of your grab bag so of course you're dreaming about him she was like the only advice that i have is like pay attention to how you feel in the dream because that's probably how you feel about the thing in real life when you told me that that's exactly i was like that makes me feel better like because um a couple weeks ago maybe even last week i texted amelia that i was having dreams about my uh mr shoe man i can't even remember what his original shoe man um bitch ass bitch ass uh i kept having dreams of like i'll

have dreams that i'm with him again and i am just like wait where's mr liz like i just i feel devastated and i'm like nothing will ever be as good as like mr liz i have never loved anyone as much as him i like i get really upset because i'm like how did i get into this fucking situation with this idiot again yeah and then i always end up like leaving and looking for mr liz like yeah right and that's you know very telling yeah yeah totally like no where's my safe person because our brains fuck are you we can't distinguish between what's a dream and what's real life which is so fucking funny it's really it's it's an interesting lens to look through like I definitely always get to that point too like if I used to have like bad blood with someone

if enough time goes by where I've like grown and matured and I can think about it and I can just be like yeah it's water under the bridge now yeah we're all human and make mistakes well you don't have any like it's not the same emotions tied to it yeah you know that's true but then I never like reach out or anything yeah I mean like have you done that yeah I mean I've had my first ever boyfriend which we were really young but I was still like really hurt by that relationship that was like my first my first experience with heartbreak I was like I mean just because you're young doesn't mean that it doesn't matter weren't real I was like very young I mean we were on and off for five years um girl I know you're 13 to 18 long I know but it was like I didn't know any

better like I had nothing to compare it to but I remember thinking like I'm never ever going to get over this guy I was like and I said that I was crying one night to my mom and I was like I'm scared I'm never gonna get over him it's so funny to look back on he has two kids now and he's his wife is stunning and amazing and they're so happy and it's just like I mean we're older now and there are different emotions attached to how we feel about each other but it was like we we are so capable of being so kind to each other you know um but going back to the dreams like the dreams that I was having about my ex for a while were like I would I still I haven't talked to him in since he sent that email I haven't even tried to talk to him so it's been two years almost two

years and I have I was having dreams that I accidentally texted him and like my phone just like sent a text and I was freaking the fuck out in the dreams I was like I don't want to talk to him I don't want to backslide like what the fuck and my therapist was like you see that's good you don't want to backslide like that's a good thing to know now what my dreams are is me and my ex get back together and I'm afraid to tell everyone and I'm like really comfortable and happy and I was thinking about it because it's like I wouldn't be comfortable and happy with them because I'm a different person now I think what my brain is telling me is like I'm because I've been like seeking out that comfort and like I have an idea yes Liz um I think it's because you are in a place

where you're ready to be in a relationship again and you want that kind of like when your relationship was safe um you're ready to open your heart again yeah and that's what your brain is associating it with mine did that for a little while too it's just like not a great feeling i wake up and i'm like i miss that feeling of feeling comfortable and then i'm like wait like i don't want to let's shake let's shake that off but him yeah not him but i was sitting on my i was sitting on my roof and my neighbors that live behind me um we have like a shared roof area it's separated by a barrier and i was sitting out there alone and they were sitting there that they're together and they were just like chatting about like nothing and i was like i

just want to sit on this roof and like talk about nothing with someone you know it's like i'm look I miss that thing that feeling in a relationship um and I think that both things can be true that like you miss that in in a very specific relationship and not miss the person totally I think it's really tough to separate the two of those things yeah and that's these dreams have kind of helped me realize I mean like I've known that like I wanted that comfort but it's like that specific comfort of like really being comfortable with the person that you're with you know like and like really knowing them really well and like not really trying to impress them anymore just like having yeah just having like conversations on a roof I totally know what

you mean you know I'm um the first time I ever felt like that in a relationship was really when I was like dating um the Scorpio who is problematic he I mean more than a year has gone by and he hasn't bothered me so that's growth progress for him good job scorpio um but like once we knew that our we were eventually gonna break up because we were like well we don't want the same things for our future and i think we both kind of just had a gut feeling like this isn't a forever thing so once we knew that it was like it had kind of fallen into like a very comfortable friendship yeah so that was like I'm thankful for that experience of having that first like kind of relationship where it you can just be silly and have fun together and like it's not that serious

yeah and it's supposed to be fun yeah yeah but it's unfortunate that it happened because we were like yeah we shouldn't be in a relationship yeah yeah yeah well it's a good thing to recognize yeah that's a wild thing to come to terms with when you're like that when both people come to terms at the same time like we probably shouldn't we should probably like not be doing this yeah well we picked a breakup date did i tell you that no yeah we picked a day where we're like all right this is like let's be done in july or something and that's what we did holy shit i think it was august actually oh my god it's like well we're here yeah it's been fun just like a handshake it was still it still sucked because for for a couple weeks we were both like

sad yeah of course yeah I mean I think that that's it's normal you got used to spending so much time with one person yeah I have a I have a friend who just broke up with his girlfriend and it was like very much so just like a wrong relationship and like it's good that they broke up and they both recognize that and he was like I miss her I'm like of course you do yeah you spend all that time with that person I thought about squints like me and squints that was the most amicable breakup i still talk to his sister like we're like fine you know um but it was really fucking sad after he left and we were both so clear on it just like not being like we just shouldn't be doing this anymore it's like all right well cool thanks for everything it's really

hard when nothing's wrong you just know that it's not for you yeah and then it's like you have this hole in your life yeah like i would invite him to everything you're great and i love your company it's just like this isn't how i want to feel in a serious relationship right come here bean yeah i mean that's the end of my thoughts on that i love that poem me too i was like it's so simple it was like and it's it feels so obvious but like it's just like oh fuck that's like that's a universal personal experience yeah I don't know that we can be kind to each other when it doesn't matter anymore yeah and it's like it does make sense on a lot of levels because it's like like I said different emotions are tied to it and also like it's like mind-blowing that that is something

that like a lot of people experience like it I had just I had just never like seen it put into words like that before you know how do you wish that you could have that experience with anyone specific yeah actually the comedian the comedian and I were never we were never mean to each other you know like it was always fine but I do wish that we had a friendship because like we I don't know I'm like so happy for where he's at in his life but the feelings were like very like imbalanced he had stronger feelings for me yeah because you were in a hard place so I think it's gonna take him some time to get there too if he ever gets there yeah I mean because it hurts when you know that you're not the one in control of the relationship because the other person like

isn't ready for it or doesn't feel the same way but that doesn't mean like you're a bad person because of it right you did care about him yeah I adored him he could show a little bit of empathy to understand like what a traumatic experience you were trying to push through and instead he's like I loved you and you don't love me back and fuck you because of it yeah it sucked like I understand it hurts your feelings and yeah I don't know what his experience was like but I also like i can understand how both of you are yes have have felt post oh i've been in his position so many times yeah and it sucks it blows but it's like and so because i've been in his position i know that he's filling in a lot of blanks with his own context and that's fine and like he's

fine he's like fucking thriving right now which is great and i'm so happy for him and like i think that if he hadn't been filling in that context and we would have just had a conversation about it him and i would be friends yeah i do think that i notice often men have a harder time uh confronting that there needs to be a conversation had like because no one likes confrontation no one likes having to like have a hard conversation because you don't know how it's gonna go no and i you know i think this is a result of a lot of things you know men aren't given the same kind of space that women are naturally given to express their feelings so it's only natural that it's like harder for them to facilitate these conversations

yeah whereas women are like i think um we kind of grow up knowing that there is an unspoken language between us and men and I don't know it it's just a learned thing of observing people's behavior and how people don't always say what they mean and like like you said filling in context clues but yeah that our context clues are a little more in depth absolutely and it reminds me of that you sent me a tiktok like months and months and months ago about like like if women feel psychic it's because they are and it's like it was it was talking about there was much more to it than what i'm about to say but it's just in the context of this conversation like this video was talking about how women are taught to trust their gut and men are taught to like like ignore their feelings

yeah so it's like if they're feeling like oh this place is a little like sketchy it's they're like no it's fine like i'm like i'm brave if like a place is a little sketchy like we've been taught to be like all right well this has saved me in the past yeah so i'm gonna leave so yeah it's just interesting to like recognize what i hadn't i hadn't considered that of like no you have to be a man be be brave man up like instead of like this seems dangerous let's leave yeah totally that's such a good point wow um there are a lot of people in my life that i would like to have this kind of closure with but alas i am stubborn can you name one oh yeah i totally wish i could have like this kind of conversation with actually a girl i used to work with that's one of the first

people i thought of yeah um she i like her as a person but she fucking sucked to work with she was awful she made my life miserable because she was miserable and i can't you know i would like to have a normal conversation with her now that she i don't have to work with her but whatever it's water under the bridge now yeah i would like if at some point um like any of my weird exes if we could have a conversation like that but to be honest i just don't have a lot of faith that they have developed to that point yeah i know that's the thing is like the development and then also like them respect like it it is gonna have to take a lot of respect on the other person's end too exactly i don't want to talk to my most recent ex because i don't i

have no evidence that supports that he respects me yeah well i had faith that um the firefighter like we could at least have some kind of like respectful and like normal conversation like yeah we we get along yeah that's why we dated right but you're married now and i'm dating someone and i just don't i've changed i don't feel the same way about you and for him to be confused of like oh i get along with this woman i clear i have feelings for her now i'm confused like no you don't yeah yeah can we just have a normal conversation and then you don't ask me to be in charge of if you toot on your wife or not and that's what i think is so it's so profound when you are able to get to the point where you can have a conversation with someone

because it takes two people to get to the same point of like okay we're like good and now we can like be good because like you got there with the firefighter and like he did it and so it can't happen yeah it's like square peg round hole yeah exactly so i would like to have those like that kind of experience with at least one of my exes but i just don't really think it will get there and sometimes that's okay that's another thing it's like the hard part that's it's the hardest thing to accept is it might not ever get there yeah it sucks I I've been thinking because I've been having all of these dreams about how wild it is to know somebody so well and then to just go back to not knowing them like you were just like strangers again now that's the hardest part

of breakups it's like oh we're just gonna pretend like none of that ever happened yeah that is hard it sucks that's what happened with me and the lawyer but I I knew that's like what he needed um he needed a lot of space yeah and I knew that and then I also needed just time to focus on myself so when I broke up with him it wasn't like I was just like and I'm done with you and our relationship is like I'm done with all relationships for a while yeah yeah I I don't want to date you seemed like so okay after that breakup i i had broken up with him in my head months before i kept bringing it up to my co-worker and he was like anytime you say it out loud liz you're just making yourself feel better because your brain is already rewarding you just by saying

it out loud because it's true it's like i'm gonna go to the gym later that's profound so you're like yeah i'm gonna go to the gym later and then if you don't go you still feel fine because you're like i told people i was gonna go to the gym yeah which goes back to the community facing thing are you doing it for the right reason are you doing it to look a type of way so he was like you just need to do it because you're probably not gonna change your mind i tried to amend it too i was like well i just need to like talk to him about this blah blah blah and then at the end of the day i just kind of realized like i wasn't i didn't feel comfortable being myself around him and like My expectations weren't really being met.

That's big. Yeah. And, yeah, it was stuff I felt like was obvious. Like, he took me on, like, a boat pregame thing before a football game. What's the team here? Dogs. What? Oh, yeah.

Huskies. Yeah, before a Huskies game. Tailgate. Yeah, he took me to a tailgate. And he knew... like a shit ton of people and then i didn't know anyone and i was like freezing my ass off and then i was like i'm so cold i'm gonna go inside and he's like okay bye yeah and i was just like um i was expecting you to like at least want to hang out with me while i warm up yeah i don't

know for like 15 minutes like yeah i don't like that at all i don't like that at all but yeah no it's like it really is it's tough when it's like it wasn't contentious like that but you still can't really like come together to like come you know what it's like this and again i'm repeating myself now but like that's what's so amazing about when you are able to come together and be like now we're kind to each other because there's so much shit at play to have to get to that point yeah we were never unkind to each other no exactly it's just like it was a fine breakup everything was fine but like still if you just like haven't reconnected yeah and and again a lot of the time you don't need to but some people do and some people have like kids between them or

like you know they're like going through a divorce so they have to like they have to worry about all of that yeah but sometimes it's like just nice to just be like i don't really want there to be bad blood there's no reason for there to be like we were young and there doesn't need to be bad blood yeah but if they like really fucked up then like you know that's totally different then you have permission to punch them in the dick yeah i'm just kidding from us yeah that is not legally binding do not quote us i actually brought the contracts with me today i'm just kidding um let's do a fun little bit that i cannot stop thinking about i love this so i have been following this account on twitter um called incel pickup lines hold on let me pull it up so we can look at that i finally

started following them they're so funny it's so funny and so scary disgusting so the twitter account is incel pickup lines and the handle is at incel replies and they just post like screenshots of weird shit people say to someone that they're hitting on because i i can't say men because it's not just men yeah there's fem cells on there which we've talked about in the past yeah exactly and we need to hold everyone accountable who behaves like a fuckhead um but i took some screenshots and we're gonna act out some of these conversations our theater kid careers have led up to this moment yeah i'm stoked some of them are just like it's just one person okay you know so we can just go back and forth love this so um you'll act out this one okay and then i'll do

the next one oh no just the beginning of this makes me so sad can you give me an action okay action hi this is doordash connecting you to your dasher for updates about your order three hours later you enjoy the food ma'am you look scrumptious in those pajamas i would move what the fuck what the fuck that's the thing i hate about like ordering stuff like or getting an uber if they're weird yeah then you're like fuck they know where i live i've been doing contactless pick up for like a couple of years now and it's the way to go it's the way to go um this is a i think this is a facebook status does anybody have a women that i can go on a date with i'm

so bored would just be friends i need a women to hang out with drive me around to the bars lol i'm 38 in like long walks on the beach ha ha ha ha kidding but serious at the same time hit me up i'm a nice guy would be a catch lol oh no what a sell what a sell okay i'm gonna do the intro of this one and you'll do the reply okay so i'm used i'm i'm author number one okay who hurt you oh god probably a girl like you too beautiful for her own good expects everything out of her man then goes to get some behind his back then when he catches you you somehow managed to turn the tables on him and make him feel feel bad we just close he was giving me what you weren't

this is the dumbest thing i've ever read truly yeah like what that that reminds me of the ones that are like you see this girl checking you out how do you open yeah i love those it's like so fucking ridiculous um so this this one i'll be the bad guy okay uh girl sends a picture if that's the picture you sent me i think you and i have run our course okay you should have not said okay you should have said here's a picture of my fantastic set of tits when can we get together you know try a tiny bit as hard as i do to make this happen sir you're doing whatever the opposite of trying that is like you're repelling yeah you're doing negative work if you want this to work out you're not doing it right you know what's interesting

about incels is like at this point it's not involuntary no you're doing this to yourself yes you are you are the cells well voluntary celibates how come they can't recognize like oh this doesn't work right maybe it's me right i mean it's because they all like emboldened each other you know to say that it's like everyone else's fault i want to read this one i want to be the bad guy how was twerk this might be a thinly veiled attempt to see your tits maybe not you decide and then like shortly after it says holy shit wrong person lol me my friend were joking about being weird at work lol my bad i realize that makes no sense embarrassed oh my god it's like okay honestly if i was dating someone for a while

and they texted me how was twerk this is a thinly veiled attempt to see your tits i would love that but then if you liked them and knew them yeah that's what i mean if you were dating them for a while okay if you had if you had been with them for a while that's a that's a great text to get yeah all right i would like that mr list said that to me i think it was funny but like and flirting now if like we're not no if you're just trying to if you're just trying to fuck someone that's not how you do it that's not how we wait um okay you can be the bad oh the big bad all right i saw a picture of you yesterday and damn you're hot thank you my body is my only complimented feature

also you are face but you don't take that as a good compliment everyone likes compliments i just don't want them from you i've had enough of trying to be good with you okay i've been trying for months and months and nothing that's kind of embarrassing on your part isn't it no it's not i'm not raised amidst american youth like you to give up on the moment something goes wrong and go search for another pussy to dip my dick in but i forgot that's how it works in the mighty nyc a bunch of bollocks shut the fuck up we hung out together once once there's no way you are this attached to me i admit that that's not how it works but why do you try to shut me down before having the

chance to get to know me that's the part i don't understand i have no attraction to you why would i continue because you never know how a person has changed in three years you even refuse to at least go out for a coffee i don't drink coffee then anything you want it's just an expression when you just go out and hang out this isn't a good look for you man stop begging it seems desperate i'm not begging i'm asking you nicely you either accept it or not three years of straight texting it's begging you were not here so i was i was supposed to come to the u.s you either say yes or no if you don't want to go out i'll quit this i've said no multiple times big boy so no since that's what you want then know it be good find someone new

you're really interesting fare thee well that is the most annoying fucking oh my god those are just the ones i took screenshots of i loved i loved the plot twist of it being three years ago that they dated no they didn't even date they went on one date they i don't even think they oh went on one date i think they hung out one time like maybe it was a date or maybe they were just like in the same social setting she's like we hung out one time there's no way you're this attached to me and like i feel like when people see conversations like that or you know like really anything like that they're like just block him or like just don't respond and it's like these people like if they're this persistent they're it can be scary oh yeah they can get

actually violent and they have and they do these men um i saw somebody posted a picture on twitter of like this is why you can't say no to no to guys or something and like her car was like all bashed in and like he had like thrown food all over it did you see that it's like what the fuck like this is what's gonna happen if you like i don't know yeah what you're not even dating and that's how you treat someone for just like not wanting to go out with you like what abusive things will you do in a relationship right i was at um i was at the grocery store and i was picking up flowers for one of my friends and i was waiting for them to wrap them and this dude was like checking out at he was just like buying his groceries and he was like hey and i was like

hi and he was like you're beautiful and it was like it's a really it's a really small grocery store so it wasn't like you know I could just like not respond like everybody in the grocery store was listening to us talk like that's it was like a small grocery store um and he like reached out to shake my hand and so like I shook his hand and he was like are you from here and I was like no but I was I live around the corner and he was like oh okay well like you know me and my me and my guys like my guys sitting outside like do you want to like and I he kind of like mumbled so I was just like oh okay so i was afraid to walk outside but i was even more afraid of what would happen if i had ignored him if his friend was just like waiting outside i hate that shit i don't want

to have to be afraid so i always hear guys being like just don't respond to them it's like it's not that easy they people get violent and we're told our whole lives i think that's something that they'll never really understand they'll never know what it's like no i i always ask this question to my male friends what would you do if you were a woman for a day and their answer is always masturbate they're like i'm just curious what it would feel like and then my answer if i was a guy for a day like i would go on walks at night i would drive for uber i would like i looked it up recently to see if like um orgasms are the same and they are so i think so men are like it just seems like it feels so much better for women and it's like because we're really good actors

also it's i think just like how much more often do you make yourself orgasm than like a man i was i keep having this thought i like it's a tweet i want to tweet but i don't want it to seem like a dig at anyone specifically uh mr liz but because i just i had the idea and i thought it was funny okay i'm not saying it's gonna happen to me or directed at him i wanted to say like uh women who live with men when do you find time to orgasm when can you orgasm in peace yeah let us know listeners who live with their partner when do you find time to orgasm in peace that is so fuck you should tweet it that is so fucking funny well mr liz and i both masturbate because it is a difference it's a different experience deciding to masturbate versus having sex

absolutely i like it just because i could have sex doesn't mean i want to sometimes being sometimes masturbating you just are horny and want to take care of it and not because you want to like engage in having sex sex is just it's it's work masturbating is like horny i'm just gonna like come sex is like yeah we gotta like warm up we gotta take yeah you well especially if you want to take care of the other person i think that's like where it really comes into play of like like when i have sex i'm have i have my partner in mind the whole time i'm not like sure yeah i do it for me but i'm also doing it because i want them to feel good right so if that's not something i feel like reciprocating then i'm not gonna like engage in sex yeah because i'm not trying to fuck

just for my own pleasure so i think that's like the biggest difference between i've never been able to fully identify why i feel that way and i'm glad that we're talking about it now so i can have that aha moment yeah there you go you know what i yeah that is the difference between like deciding if i want to have sex versus masturbate yeah it's a lot less it's just a lot less work yeah it's a lot less work you get just one and done i can get the job done in like a minute yeah that was sex yeah you're like this is distracting and i'm just gonna take care of it versus like wanting to take care of another person i've pavloved myself into being horny very specific times of the day if i'm laying in bed i've pavloved myself i wonder if i've done that

yeah because we're both working from home yeah but sometimes i'll just like take a nap and like that's usually the time when i get the job done and i'm like right when i get into bed to take nap i'm like oh i could masturbate it's like out of nowhere i've pavlopped myself it's amazing you should pay attention to when you when you're horny you might have pavlopped yourself um i have a few more go ahead oh please if you want to yes act him out oh yeah okay do you want to be the bad or do you want me to be the bad you be the bad okay um i'm just gonna use your name because this name's crossed out okay hey amelia it was great meeting you today i just wanted to welcome you and look forward to and i look forward to working with you and then so that was at 8 12 p.m and then at 8 51

p.m oh no i guess the other guys were right you do have an attitude lol hey there thanks for the warm welcome and apologies my other job starts 4 a.m and i was asleep when you texted have a good day lol you can work two jobs but don't have two seconds to text back someone that's being nice to you are you fucking kidding me no i appreciate you that said texting someone i barely met makes me uncomfortable i'm sorry you're feeling invalidated no offense i was just being nice to you you come across as someone who likes to be chased no one wants to be chased listen okay um it's a co-worker yeah if you appreciate me why can't you just reply to me you're not going to reply for two days again i guess i'd like you to please leave me alone oh well you're such a

control freak i can decide for myself has anybody ever told you that this unfriendly attitude isn't gonna help you no wonder you're single you're gonna die alone i'd like you to please leave me alone fucking control freak cunt i'll do what i want no matter what you want me to drama queen and then what is this the next day hold on sunday yeah the next day he says hey about yesterday i am sorry if you feel i was wrong are you there i know you're there because i can see you working on my floor please reply and then tuesday please reply i don't want a negative work environment damn you should have thought of that before you chose to harass your co-worker because what you think women exist just to make you horny the fuck i would

to be brand new at a job and already feel uncomfortable like that i mean that did happen to you true damn but not like i mean it's all bad but not that egregious yeah holy shit what the fuck i don't know what i honestly don't know what i would do i want you to read this one okay i'm gonna use your name here okay oh god should i hi liz how has how has your week been later on may your pussy tonight and then the next day oh no weeks later yeah okay so may your pussy tonight december 6th december 22nd i'll eat your ass too he's a giver honestly i think that's kind of funny yeah you know may your pussy tonight no reply and weeks go by he's like i'll eat your ass too don't buy yet i will do it i mean

She's like, you drive a hard bargain, lady, but I'll eat your asshole, too. Okay, twist my arm. All right, fine. I'll take that asshole, too. That's amazing. Good for him. I'm going to read this one. I am crying.

I thought you were a good person. I've never begged nobody like this before. Please. Just a photo of your tits and that's it. Please. oh my god curtis connor did a video on these did you see that no oh he did a video of incel pickup lines you should watch it it's remarkable damn it i swear i i do love curtis connor but i haven't watched his content lately he's incredible but there was one on there where the guy was like

please i need to see a picture of you right now it's i'm like i'm about to die like i got just got diagnosed with so and so my cat just died i'm really sad and i'll only feel better if you sent me a picture of your butt okay i'm a really nice guy i'm gonna read this one this dick good shouty ever ride on eight inches yeah shut up bitch oh my god i mean she like did the yes and yeah yeah she played shut up bitch that's good improv yeah but that's all yes that's all i got oh my god it's amazing y'all should follow this twitter page if you don't they're too good they're so fucking funny i love it so after last week's episode, we got an email from someone with an additional tip for our abortion conversation from

last week's episode. Hi, Amelia and Liz. I just had one additional tip that I didn't hear you mention in your episode about abortion resources and information. I hope I didn't just miss it, but in case it wasn't actually mentioned in your episode, it wasn't. I wanted to add the danger therapists can pose to women now if the therapist is personally pro-life. Therapists have patient therapist confidentiality but therapists have a duty to report legally to protect their patient's life or a third party's if a therapist is pro-life they will view a fetus as a life and can use that as a reason to report their patient for things said in a therapy session and not only break confidentiality when forced by a prosecutor but actively report on their own but actively report

on their own patient for things said in a session you may have seen the tiktoks talking about this that's where i became aware of it but they recommend people ask their therapist if they're pro-choice or anti-abortion and while the therapist isn't required to answer no answer or a deflective answer is an answer um i hope this email wasn't too long it's definitely not that's really the shortest email we've ever gotten i think you both are great and your podcast is the only podcast i listen to at all so kudos on having entertaining informative empathetic conversations in every episode oh thank you for listening what the hell i actually hadn't seen this pop up on any of my tiktok i had neither obviously i'm deep in it like yeah constantly getting information

right no that's that's a good tip it really is oh you know what someone also dm'd us um a period tracking app that we can use oh um i only i didn't open it i just like saw that we got that message they said just listening to friday's app and wanted to let you know that stardust app is a period tracker that a i think you'll both love and b is women owned and most importantly see they advocate for the rights of people with uteruses and firmly state that under no circumstances they will they sell your information and all data is encrypted so that you will be protected and the government will not be able to access what's yours plus it's kind of sassy and witchy with great branding and graphics which is shit i so appreciate fuck yeah also as a

canadian woman who has had to have an abortion i am horrified at what is going on down there horrified. I'm so sorry. First of all, thank you. Grandpa says thank you too. Thank you for the recommendation. Thank you for the condolences. Yeah. That sounds like a dope app. Yeah. I love that. It was called Stardust. Yeah. Stardust. So love that we got that tip. Thank you for that. Yeah. Cause I need to say goodbye to my period tracking app, obviously. Um, and download a safer one, even though I'm in an area that is safe. Okay, well, we love you. Our chill

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