The Hoely Hour - FROM THE VAULT: Ex-spiration

Episode Date: May 31, 2025

E229: An old episode we never released because the audio sounds like sh*t. But if you can get past that, you'll be thoughtfully entertained by an insane Reddit story about a man who discovers his wife is stalking his ex, why Jim Halpert is a Mary Sue for millennial women, and some other stuff Liz thinks about after a eating a gummy. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I wear these headphones in the gym and I always feel like I look like a hot gym bitch and then I come in here and it really humbles me because like I just look like I don't know I don't I don't like work the microphone or the headphones well I feel like that's not true oh yeah okay this is no that looks cute thank you it's cunty with your little earrings fucking live for cunty you you look like you totally look like a hot gym bitch thank you that's all the only reason I told that story was so you would tell me that well believe it sister I do look at how pale i am compared to you i think this lighting looks i can't figure it out to me the color looks weird is this light on again yeah i'll turn it it's been on i'll turn it off okay

i thought i'd turn this off that fixed my problem did it fix your problem i just feel like i look like such a strange color like my sweater doesn't look red it looks orange i need to see what you're seeing because i feel like we're experiencing different realities right no that is what it looks like over here that's weird really yeah i think the color is strange it's giving like instagram filter the whole episode is going to be just us figuring out our cameras so we have a new setup the way that we're recording also you're like not centered on mine are you centered on yours yeah okay as long as it's centered on yours that's what matters okay well now now it's not mirrored no it is mirrored so i'm moving in a direction that isn't

it's showing up the opposite so i'm i'm feeling a little out of sorts no it's it looks the same yeah this is gonna be the whole episode just an hour of us we've we've had to so the way that we're setting up now we're like we got cameras so we could you know record in 4k that's the people are demanding it actually no one's demanded it we just i don't know two people have asked we were just like how can we add a layer of complexity to our podcast let's add a new technical thing we just paid for riverside yeah yeah so we are now but that it required you know setting up the lighting because we've just been recording with a ring light which looks great on your phone not so great on a but on a 4k webcam it's not the best not the best but you know should we be cam

girls now so we can pay for our upgraded equipment flash a titty for 144 because that was half of the riverside uh we had a coupon for riverside the way that you look on my screen is not at all how you look in person do you know what i mean that's really that's good to hear but what do you mean by that i think it's because my i think it's because i think the lighting looks weird does it look weird on yours i think it's because i reflect light differently than you i think that's the issue because like we're in the same room we have to be so from my perspective of my eyeballs Amelia has this beautiful, soft, romantic lighting happening. And then it's just like so bright on camera.

And then I just look, I look almost blue. Like I think I look, yeah, I look kind of like a vampire. I'm giving corpse bride. Why is that? We have the same webcam. I think it's the light. It must be. It's driving me insane.

Hold on. I don't love it. but you know it's a learning curve yeah and i'm not gonna you look fantastic i love that well i don't understand why it's so dark on you i look blue can i turn that light this fucking light again no it's fine i'll turn it down though that's better yeah it feels more even okay okay we're made progress we made it oh my god uh um have you heard the bruno mars song fat juicy and wet with sexy red it's fucking crazy dude it's like how did when you think of bruno mars what do you think like he just is a little guy i just i don't think of like sexy

right i think of like white millennial moms yeah yeah and i don't mean that as an insult i just mean like i don't know if like bruno mars knows that that is his like main audience i think he must because like uptown funk was like not like i mean that goes hard it goes hard but it's not like as someone who doesn't really like bruno mars what do you mean i don't know i just don't like bruno mars but um he has the song i don't dislike him i just i'm like i'm not gonna pull a bruno mars song when i'm like hey i want to jam out right now you know and what might change your mind okay i'll give it a chance i'll give it a chance pussy's so good i don't even gangbang pussy so good make me throw up a set fat juicy and wet fat juicy and weird that is fjw poetry

fj dub dubs after dubs okay i we need to acknowledge the elephant in the room which is i've been gone for the last what two to three weeks of recording i had to travel for work so i was gone for that and then the week after unfortunately my grandfather passed away so I had to travel for his funeral so that is why I was gone last week and the week before I'm glad to be back it's starting to feel like okay I'm I'm getting back into the swing of like my normal routine usually Amelia and I record on Wednesdays or on Mondays yeah I do feel a little out of sorts I mean we're just late in the day it really is 7 30 yeah it's been a long day for an hour when we've just been like shooting the shit and trying to set up our cameras this whole time

but we're here and we've made it and we're we've arrived we've not only arrived here we've arrived with style this is gonna i'm gonna have almost no editing to this sorry guys okay i heard read the craziest story well so i heard this on usually it's the opposite people will say i read but what they mean is they heard someone on tiktok say well so that is it is that is the case but it was this video started autoplaying of like the craziest reddit stories that this smosh do smosh is yeah wait so he like reads reddit stories all the time i guess i just found out okay that's how you know smosh that's crazy smosh has been around for so fucking long yes the way i know smosh is from like their weird early aughts like internet content

what a time damn we were there's two timelines of millennial and mine is just showing i'm older i honestly i feel like i was on the cusp of i was like on the cutoff of so many different like like what's the word i'm looking for zeitgeist type stuff uh-huh you know like yeah i missed club penguin i was like too old for club penguin yeah i missed that one too but you did neopets but i did neopets that was like our version yeah but that was such a short amount of time that that was like a thing for this for this generation well yeah we had neopets and then we had chat rooms which didn't really chat rooms i wasn't as interested in i was interested i liked the neopets chat rooms oh my god yeah and the trading post you could like yeah those were fun

i would go to the role play oh my god ones like the yeah the role play uh chat forums or whatever were they they were like chat boards yeah it was like we're on a deserted island like survivor my god and then i described my character as like long brown hair hot yeah yep my 16 i would always did you ever play inkling growing up no what's that it was like multiplayer pictionary online and like okay one off i think i have oh but it would be a big group in these that would be playing a game but you could message people one off and i would like always say that i was like 16 i was like 12 like 16 years old with long blonde hair is just like such a fun i don't know it sounded like such a fun age but the only reason i was obsessed with 16 from the ages of like sweet 16

no from like 6 to like well 13 16 sounded so fucking cool to me because bernie spears was 16 when she blew up i want to be 16 and have boobs okay but now when you hear that aren't You're like, that's fucking crazy. She blew up at 16. What? 16-year-olds shouldn't. 16-year-olds should be ugly and hanging out with their ugly friends and feeling awkward and flirting with people their own age and feeling ugly and uncomfortable and maybe smelling

a little weird. That's what 16-year-olds should be doing. And for some people, it's 31. I mean, you know, smelling a little weird, crying a whole lot. that's you know some of us never grow out of it i found a pull tab from some electronic that you have this is from a cat toy i bought these freeze-dried fish do they love them no he's afraid of them grandpa is afraid of the freeze-dried fish gatsby will sometimes eat everything but the head that's pretty gross super gross so he just like leaves them scattered

around scattered about just the head will be right there looking at you with its little freeze-dried eyes like sardines they're minnows i know but wait i'm thinking of tadpoles i'm like they're eating baby frogs monsters nar okay i'm gonna read you this story that i heard on smosh i cannot wait okay i forgot how we got here yeah no i did too for a sec then then it was up on my screen my brain is like really functioning off of like a brain cell and a half today yeah i mean i ate a gummy and you're so now you're working for two of us and i took a nap before i came here that i have still not woken up from i ate a gummy because i was gonna crash out if i didn't now you're not crashing out exactly i feel i feel great bless the gorge

ready yes i male 36 met my wife bailey fake name obviously female 33 nine years ago through mutual co-workers and we hit it off immediately i felt absolutely head over heels with this woman she was everything i was looking for i had gotten out of a toxic dare i say abusive long-term relationship right before that woman bailey had been acquainted with but not friends with i had her locked on everything and had no contact with her since breaking up. We got married right after the tail end of the pandemic, bought our first house together, and started trying to conceive. That was difficult because Bailey has PCOS, but last year she finally gave birth to our first daughter. I'm having a blast being a dad. It's kind of a dream come true. I finally got my happy

life with my perfect wife. My perfect wife. Until last Monday. My laptop's battery shit the bed, so I opened up Bailey's work tablet with an attached keyboard. You can set it up like a monitor to check on some tax stuff she wasn't home it was just me and the baby but we've never asked permission to use each other's devices we've always just been open like that there's nothing for us to hide that's what i thought when i opened up the internet i noticed she had the incognito tab open never in a million years did i expect to discover what i did i don't know what you're about to tell me you don't know or you do no i did um see that's why i know i shouldn't i have no idea what you're about to tell me it could be literally anything my wife has a secret google

account with a photo album saved called xx so i clicked on it did i discover an affair nudes nope in this google album were over 300 photos 348 actually of my ex the woman i was with right before i met bailey the woman who tormented me and made me feel worthless the album said it started back right around the time bailey and i first started dating and was updated as recently as two weeks ago. The photos range from candid shots with family to pictures of her at work functions. There were even pictures of her from her yearbook. I don't even know how Bailey could have found her high school yearbook photos. Photos from vacations, ID photos from work, pictures of her in crowds, screenshots of videos, and screen recordings of videos. Just her. The

other people in the photos would be scribbled out or the photo would be cropped and zoomed in just on my ex there was other disturbing things i found too there was another album with just zoomed up pictures of my ex's hair come to think of it bailey had recently started wearing her hair different and my ex had a very identifiable identifiable hair type there was another album with screenshots of comments on social media of course i can't find them because i have her blocked like facebook groups she's in and public posts and my ex is very low-key on social media i can't imagine the lengths Bailey went to to find them my ex literally lives in another country now there were also different links to the exact outfits she was wearing like very specific blouses and

trousers you'd have to really go looking for to find a specific water bottle I remember her purchasing and identical hiking boots and sandals so basically my partner of almost a decade has been single white female and my ex-girlfriend has secretly stalked her to the point of buying her exact clothes and changing her hair and now i'm starting to realize bailey's new interests over the years were just my exes bailey has turned herself into my ex everything feels like a lie our love feels like a lie the things we share feel like a lie i threw up and had a panic attack i looked at our daughter and felt betrayed i haven't confronted her yet i don't know if i want to i want to run away with our daughter i want to print out all of her pictures like leave them on the

table and disappear i don't know what to do i just want to throw up isn't that insane that's crazy update but i haven't read it yet no it's really long sir tldr read the comments i'm gonna start reading this and if it's not interesting then i'll stop oh it's folded it out so it's not that long oh perfect okay update i found my wife's secret google account i'm sick to my stomach i'm pretty sure i accidentally got my original post removed just now because i tried to update it with a link to my update oops anyway i'm the guy who found the google drive full of pictures of my ex so i was not expecting my original post to go viral on youtube and tiktok and have so many responses yikes i am overwhelmed by the support i am humbled by the number of people who have been through this

experience on both sides other people have what that's not good that's a little scary yo what are you doing i have an update but it's probably not as exciting and as juicy as you want it's not bad though first let me clear things up oh that's boring okay one if people think this post is fake because it doesn't make sense or are trying to conceive timeline is short or the way i worded things makes it look like a teenager or woman wrote it continue to think that because it means i've successfully been vague enough and worded things to not accidentally dock myself docks myself believe this is a creative writing exercise exercise so i don't embarrass myself for real um okay these are all he didn't actually throw up private browsing tabs were open a lot of the

clothing he reckoned the hair these are all okay on to the actual update the next day when i calmed down, I called several social workers and therapists. I was planning to confront her there. Unfortunately, the only places that take our insurance did not have an opening for another couple of weeks. So despite what a lot of you think, I've known my wife for nearly a decade. And even when I was confused and upset and doubting things, I didn't think she'd be a danger to me. We took baby to grandma's and I asked her to go on a walk with me. I did not beat around the bush and straight up told her I found the folder. I mean, yeah, I mean, that's the way to do it. It really it really is. I think that's the only way you can at this point. Her

face got very red and she was frozen but also tried to play dumb at first i was persistent and she started crying and begged me to not leave her this is what i uncovered lord at least first bailey first started looking up my ex out of curiosity to keep tabs i guess but over time it became more pathological it's like she got addicted to it and she was also but she also wanted to quote unquote please me okay maybe i talked about my ex a lot more than i thought and bailey wanted to emulate the good parts she told me she doesn't know who she is and my ex's image was something she latched on to because she quote unquote had me first I was gonna say it seems almost like she turned this girl into like an influencer like it doesn't seem like she really

knew anything about her I feel like I've gotten close to doing something like that yeah it's when it becomes like just almost habitual like oh I'm gonna check on this person and then and then you don't even care you get to a point like it starts out as curiosity and then maybe creeps into jealousy a little bit and like you're aware like once you become aware it's like you being insecure you get to a point where you like it just becomes a habit to do and then you get to a point where you're like well now this is weird and i'm over it and i need to stop making this a habit and then you stop i just feel like where it crosses the line into being weirdo behavior is having a folder yeah that's where it's weird i love that she like hyperlinked the outfits this girl was

way right yeah like this is she took it to like because i feel like that's where i'm like that's a little like i'm not mad about the idea but i'm like you're doing this because it's your partner's ex yeah not because you're like okay continue well i just feel like i've done this i've done this but in different ways like i've gone in i've gotten into like kind of feeling addicted to like checking up on someone and i've gotten into the habit of like in college i would always try to like be who I thought that my ex would want me to be and I would always pinpoint it on specific people and then like I got my nose pierced for that reason you know what I mean like there are things that I did but never to the point like they never happened at the same time

together you know like I wasn't checking up on these people and also being obsessed with them and I never would have shared like saved a whole folder 48 photos yeah is a lot of photos it's one thing to like yeah just look but it's a whole other thing to like take screenshots and pictures and then even of like the the comments they're leaving that's that's a lot yeah i was thinking earlier today like uh i've i've seen a lot of people talking about how like the cool thing is going to be doing stuff irl that's going to be the status symbol because when you do things that show that you're chronically online it's perceived as cringe because it's like that's what you're doing you're not like fucking living life and spending time outside right with your friends

right yeah my brother told me this i thought this was really like cute and funny when him and his girlfriend are like deciding what they want to do like maybe on a sunday or something they'll they'll be like so do you want to live life tonight instead of like scrolling on their phones and they'll like yeah make dinner together and like yeah all he's made cute little videos i don't know if i should call them cute i think they're really cute they're like cute videos of like what he did during the day with like his dog and his girlfriend and they're just like fun to watch he sends them to my family we're like we're like hell yeah he's like like yeah like how he made like chicken yeah he made like adobo chicken and just showed like what he did on a sunday

yeah literally it's always fun when you like i don't know the more the older i get the more fun it is to hang out with him it was never not fun but it was just like we were too different for a while and now we've now we have a lot more in common like that happens to a lot of like people are always like when you guys get older you're gonna appreciate each other more like when they're fighting with their siblings when they're younger it always happens that way like my brother and i don't know if my parents ever told us that oh really like i was always hearing my like my friends parents say that to them like you guys will appreciate each other when you're older and it always turned out that way hmm mr liz has returned bueno hello how's it

going you know it's long long life it's been a long day it's been a long day oh okay so do you want to hear the pod thoughts that i couldn't stop thinking about while i was traveling okay i wanted to talk about the emergency contact trend oh my god yes what what are your let's start i want to hear your thoughts first of all i'm jealous that i don't have any footage of frank to contribute because he is so fucking ridiculous so much of the time and i just never get it on camera here's the thing though he's like responsible holy he's silly but he's responsible that's the joke right it's like this emergency contact it's like a guy like putting his head through a wall you know i think so i wouldn't say that is someone i would think is responsible

though no even if it's just like a no putting their head through the wall like it's like you know it's like how could he be your emergency contact if he is the one who is in the emergency room for just doing that every day i mr list says that's the bit i don't maybe i just don't get the bit i think it's i think it's so stupid why are you making this man your emergency contact i've seen where girls are like this is my emergency contact and it's their boyfriend being the stupidest most irresponsible person on the planet and i'm like what's he gonna do call your mom slower than the police would i don't know the videos that i've seen have been like just dudes having like silly goofy times so i think you're seeing the ones that are like dudes being like

actual like i just irresponsible idiots i don't know mr liz is sometimes my emergency contact for certain things but like usually it's my mom yeah it's i've recently changed it to frank because my mom is in like a yeah i'm like well at least he lives here yeah but he wouldn't be able to answer like he doesn't know my social security i don't know his social security number don't you need to know that i don't think i don't know i think you fill that out when you sign up for the appointment i i have to tell him where the dishes are in the house that we both live in that's true that's that's a good point but they you know they always figure it out if they look hard enough you know yeah anyway what i don't know i i understand what you're saying i it does like

i feel like the versions that you're seeing are like the like people being like fucker like idiots yeah and i think that's irresponsible yeah yeah yeah for sure the ones that i'm seeing are like this is my emergency contact and it's a dude just like marching around being a beige flag yeah okay you know what i mean i want to see more i want to make one so bad but i just don't have it's just it's like it's just when you see someone who's like 22 and i'm just like no yeah don't make this guy your emergency contact this guy's a dumbass yeah this guy's i'm begging you yeah it took i like maybe i don't know it just feels like yeah i mean if you're like making your 22 year old boyfriend your emergency contact you like i don't think that you like put a lot of

value on your own life like it does i just started making frank mine and we're like oh yeah exactly 30 year old adults so yeah i don't think i made mr liz mine until i until we lived together yeah and then i'm frank made me his it was like so exciting there was only the only other time i made him one of the emergency con i think i made him the first emergency contact and my mom the secondary emergency contact because i was having a surgery and he was picking me up yeah so i was like oh if they need to call if they need to call someone they should call him totally because he lives here right and he's my ride yeah it's a good person to have as an emergency contact someone that can get there in lickety split oh the other

thing that i was thinking about is so the most millennial thing about me is that i love the office and it's because it's a good show there's a reason that it's like so loved but i've already talked to him about this so I'm embarrassed to say it in front of him again because he didn't agree with me oh he didn't agree no okay I was thinking about um like how Jim Halpert is a Mary Sue for millennial women it was Mary Sue so a Mary Sue is a fictional character who is portrayed as too perfect and without flaws the term is often used in a derogatory way to describe a character that someone that some readers consider to be unrealistic or unrelatable because at first when we were talking about it mr liz was like i don't think he's a mary sue but the more i thought about

it when i was on the plane by myself with my own thoughts i was like thinking about how he's portrayed as like the perfect ideal love interest to pam and like pam is i would say like our character that's like our attachment to reality like that jim and pam have this kind of like self-awareness of like we know this is ridiculous yeah but i almost see i feel like we see the office through pam's eyes a little bit like of all of the characters she's probably the most normal yeah like the most relatable in real life and so for her to have this love interest like he's not a Mary Sue for men because he I think that men see Jim as just kind of like the goofy guy yeah like he's funny and that's cool but they're not like this guy's a

fucking Chad we love him you know he's not a boy that the boys love they like him but like the types of dudes who are like I'm looking for the Pam to my gym that is a nice guy that's a guy who's like where's my hug you know yeah yeah he's like i love jim halpert yeah no you love that women love jim halpert yeah it's like when men wear pearls you know unfortunately like jim halpert is also yeah that's so real like jim halpert is also hot he's the hottest guy in the office yeah but like you know yeah so that's also why i'm like like he just looks like the hottest guy in the office he's not like you know what i mean he's like yeah he's a babe like he's well this is also like the adam scott he's kind of like an adam scott thing like in parks and rec

like in parks and rec that's like his probably his most well-known role and he's just kind of like a sweet goober but like you know have you seen edits of him well have you seen him on season two of severance i was like god damn he got that dog in him he does yeah yeah i know well i mean and you don't expect that he'd be fucking season two spoilers spoilers but he'd do be fucking i mean all you need to do is like watch like clips of him when he was the bad boy in boy meets world he was in boy meets world yes he's been acting for a long time and that jawline does not quit oh my god he played a character named griff oh he was a high school bully oh my god i remember this yeah oh my god so if you're if you're bored and lonely later what a time what a time he's a good

looking man but oh look at him i wrote the importance of keeping secrets i don't really know i remember what i was thinking the importance of keeping secrets in general like let me think of how to explain this because the reason I had this thought I told you about my snitch ass co-worker right yeah luckily not about to catch me I do think secrets are a way of building community like the older so yes and I have like some contingencies like when you share a secret with someone it's because you trust them you know but if that person shares your secret and it gets back to you but and like there's a mutual understanding that this thing is set in confidence like secrets are a way of like like keeping it's not just telling secrets or sharing

secrets or whatever it's you keeping someone else's secret that is a sign of like growth and maturity totally and i guess i think about it especially in like work circumstances when you confide something in a co-worker it's because like you trust them yeah you trust like that you guys can be allies and like being able to like vent about something and know it's not that serious or like if there is something serious knowing that you can trust this person to keep it to themselves i don't know and work is so much of our lives now too that like it really does hold a lot of weight it requires a lot of trust because you're like trusting people to help you do your job and that's how that's how we all pay bills and you're right like it is how you spend a lot

of your time every day right yeah if there was the last account that i was on i i texted one of my teammates who worked at our company that you and i both worked at and i was like can i vent about you know like our account and she was like absolutely and i sent this like long text and she just never responded and i like texted her again later about something and i was like oh by the way thanks for letting me vent and she was like for sure anytime and i was like no wait hold on back up this is not how this works i don't know i'm not trying to vent with no response being a double agent perhaps you know what i mean i call those people cops it was it was behavior yeah and so i was like okay i can't trust that person and it really does change like the

relationship with the person at work when you don't feel like you can like confide in them about shit like it's like oh i thought we were homies but like yeah it's one thing to share your own secret but it's another thing to share someone else's secret and i don't like if you're listening you know what i mean like totally yeah some things are not secrets and some things like should be shared like if people are in danger but like it does genuine things set in confidence it's like social currency for insecure people yes that is exactly what it is like you're watching white lotus huh so this isn't spoilers for anyone listening but like the friend group that's there and they're all kind of like talking shit about each other in different groups of two like it

does feel like people do that when they're feeling like they're like the underdog in a situation and they need to like yeah it's it like a and that's what i mean by it's like social currency yeah it's like a community building kind of thing for individuals to be like i have this piece of information like let's talk about it yeah well i mean this is like a whole character plot line in game of thrones like trying to control people by because it's like i know these secrets and i'm sharing them with you they just know they yeah like you're saying like they're using secrets to wield power yeah but i just don't think sharing other people's secrets gets people the respect they think it does you know it's not like oh i know this thing it's like no you're

just showing me that like that person can't trust you and now neither can i absolutely whenever anybody tells me something like i shouldn't be telling you this but unless it's like you like i love telling you shit that i'm not supposed to be telling you but it's like a different circumstance well yeah you know i'm not gonna be like yeah like i'll tell frank shit that like you know i said i wouldn't have a person you can like but it's like when it's not that you know what i mean and you're doing it like nefariously yeah like i have to tell someone this you know that's when you when you're like oh i just need to share this there's that one trusted person right yeah like if i can't share shit with like a co-worker with you i'm gonna share it with

you i'm gonna explain the circumstances to you i did see a tiktok that i thought was really funny and cute this girl was like i love this joke about how like no one knows what their best friend's job is but i know my best friend's job it's her job and her manager's job and everyone else's job on her team she's so underpaid for it yeah that is exactly it's so funny doing her job she's doing her manager's job speaking of jobs i went viral on linkedin hey shit my post no and it's um that's embarrassing for how much i'm on linkedin guys i'm on linkedin for for my job not because i choose to be i mean i'm going to preface this by like i'm not it's not really viral like it has a lot of impressions it went viral on instagram and tiktok and so people went

to linkedin because i said i also posted on linkedin because it was a video of me making fun of how people talk on linkedin okay i didn't see it on link i didn't see your post on linkedin i saw it on instagram okay i think i posted it on linkedin and like people fucking love it i was expecting like getting fights with like middle-aged men i love this i love this for you Because it's embarrassing how people talk on LinkedIn. People are fucking, it's lawless on LinkedIn. Some of the unhinged shit I see, I'm like, you're going to be a white supremacist on your job website? Huh?

I mean, I got my eyes open to LinkedIn lunatics, the Reddit forum, when I made that video. Because everyone's like, oh my God, this is such a LinkedIn lunatics post. And so I went on the Reddit, the subreddit, and it's fucking crazy the things that people say on there. Yes. It's not everybody needs to be an influencer. have you heard of jordan reviews it i follow him on instagram he probably is tiktok but he just makes a lot of work related meme videos and they're like shit post videos so they're pretty funny like i'll send you one but it's like when you walk on when you get on linkedin and it's like

all of the dumb bullshit you see and it has all the sound effects it's really fun i it's work brain rot but in a way that's yeah corporate shit post i mean this is the callback to the office that's why it's funny because that is how it be have you seen you have some dumb ass middle manager i have seen office space i never understood the beauty of that movie until like i watched it for the second time last year because i watched it when i was a kid and obviously i didn't understand yeah it is so fucking perfect it's perfect film now you're gonna shut up now that getting attention i'm just gonna start licking his butt now that i talked to him oh fuck she noticed me natural uh i also put on here i i wanted to do more research on this but obviously

didn't have a second have you seen anything about how men need to be in like peak condition for pregnancy like yes yeah a man a man a man's man's like not physical fitness but like more or less like level of health will direct or it affects the quality of his sperm which will directly impact the type of experience you talked to a woman we'll have oh we did and i said of course because everything is a man's fault i love that i thought about i've been thinking about this so much that i brought it up twice literally a month has gone by is he trying to get into where he is is he trying to get into the office he might be he looks like he's loitering around the litter box fuck i wanted to read you another reddit post but they fucking well oh somebody

reposted it okay sorry oh no reposted what the the story that got deleted that i wanted okay uh the only other thing i put on here was my suitcase packing abilities and tips yeah i am very good at packing stuff that's such a skill i have amazing like yeah spatial awareness within my bag I'm trying to I should have actually written down my tips I was probably like oh I'll remember them when I'm talking about them I hate when I do that well I have packing cubes that also like can get really small and condense everything like a vacuum like you can squeeze it's not vacuum sealed but like you can make it smaller I don't know it's like a compression yeah yeah it's like a compression bag i bought those through base i also bought a base suitcase

because of the compartments it has okay um that has like also a panel you can like keep in or remove i find myself removing it more often than not because i pack too much shit but the packing cubes make it easier to kind of tetris things i'm trying to think of if i actually have any real tips I just never like to be in a situation where I need something especially when traveling totally so that's what I strive for with my packing you know I always make the mistake of like when I'm like being a responsible packer and I'm like thinking of everything and thinking of every reason that I could ever possibly need anything and I'm like being really thoughtful about it I always forget the most like basic shit like a toothbrush yeah like I've forgotten

a hairbrush so many times I never forget anything I made a very extensive packing list you should sell those mine is like down to the detail of what I use so I don't forget anything but I also have a capsule wardrobe like hack it really helps with packing my like one bag capsule wardrobe depending on how long I'm gone and like the season three bottoms five tops this is yeah so this would be for like two weeks of travel actually this is kind of a lot this is more than i would actually pack that's like i don't know okay three bottoms five tops two dresses two pairs of shoes you wear one one sweater one outer so ideally you're wearing a few of these things like you're wearing a comfy like your comfy top and bottom because i traveled without a sweatshirt last week i

regretted it so fucking much i was like i don't care i should have just been hot on the plane or something because i regret not having a sweatshirt every time i don't pack a sweatshirt or like the wrong pair of sweatpants it ruins a trip for me it really it really does make or break a trip yeah because i packed sweatpants and i was like this fucking rocks i don't always pack sweatpants maybe i'll pack yoga pants or i'll wear yoga pants it's just not the same as sweatpants no it's not No, it's not. I have been flying to Florida to visit my family for like my entire life. And I just recently realized that I leave my parents' apartment like maybe once when I'm there. So I've started just like finally figured out like I just need to pack sweatpants. And it has made, because that's like the place that I travel to the most. It has made traveling so much better. If you're just honest with yourself. yeah it's like i'm not gonna who am i looking hot for this is south florida you know everyone

the the average age here is 85 who am i trying to impress you want to hit me with one more reddit story you talking about the like men being in peak shape for pregnancy reminded me of this well i told my cousin that and they were like really and i was like excited to tell them something they didn't know yeah and i completely forgot we've already talked about it it bears repeating it does okay this is not related to that but it's related to pregnancy and it just made me think of it this was on beyond the bump but it's kind of an am i overreacting post okay the headline was i am seriously contemplating divorcing my husband over a prank i'm sorry it's a long vent but i honestly feel so much rage it's not that long either was he just shimmying that was so cute

my husband and i are both 32 years old with a six-week-old baby we have been together seven years pranking each other has been something we do especially early in our relationship as a bit of fun he has been known to take them too far at times and i don't know what to think since i've been home with the baby he has continued playing pranks and my my tolerance is very low between sleepless nights and all the hormones i find myself absolutely raging at him for these pranks and he tells me i am being too serious i'm no fun and i am a quote chronic overreactor whatever that may be three pranks in particular have angered me to the point of tears raging out and now i am contemplating divorce buckle up i'm already on her side yeah oh for sure but this is worse than

you think oh god prank one um prank one was making coffees for our guests with my breast milk what the fuck i am having trouble pumping so i don't have that much stored anyway i was so angry and embarrassed that's what path behavior absolutely to do that to your wife and your guests what the fuck is wrong with you who is that funny for if it's funny for you you're fucked deep in the head yeah it seems like something maybe people would think is funny i can't even think of a circumstance that anyone would think that that's funny unless if they saw it on a tv show and like i don't know and like it was an accident i don't think you've been used the wrong i mean i don't think that you have enough like white trash family your dad's british and

your mom's like a badass original girl boss like you don't have white trash family to know the type of person that would conceptually think that's funny like i like truly the only instance that i could think of this being funny as if it was truly an accident like you like have like two jugs in the fridge just like he's just like oh i know the type of person that would think this is funny but no one else they wouldn't think it was funny if it happened to them right i mean that's you're consuming like someone's like bodily fluid yeah and you like didn't consent to do that okay you just wait frank too was pretending to have cut his fingers off in the garden he dragged it on for ages too and put fake blood around not just a quick little joke and lastly

prank three which happened today and i feel is my final straw lastly i was hinting about breakfast in bed so this morning he brings me coffee toast and some chocolates what i assumed was peanut butter on my toast was in fact our baby's poop and as i have severe sinus issues i didn't realize and took a small bite i spat it out right away he laughed hysterically and i told him to get out he later messaged me and said all of his workmates thought it was hilarious which is just embarrassing on top of it all i'm just so angry hurt and sad but i also don't feel like myself yet after having my baby so i don't know if i'm overreacting would you consider these pranks way too far they aren't the only ones the other ones that have caused massive fights also sets off alarms

while i'm sleep deprived as it is etc this man is torturing his wife there's a few updates i i want to throttle this man yeah i feel like maybe i've read this one too but i'm still pissed update one i have had a very brief chat to him he came home i was in the master bedroom with baby and told him to go away so he sat in the laundry room and ordered himself kfc delivery and gamed i mean peak man i'm not surprised why the fuck do people choose to have children i don't know that's the thing like i'm like this is a new behavior there's no new behavior um i went down and flatly said on what planet was that was what you did this morning appropriate he straight out said you should have seen the look on your face and began hysterically laughing again i kept my cool and said he wasn't

welcome in the bedroom tonight i'm going to my sister's first day i don't know any further plans at the time it has been a long six weeks if anything the next week i want to spend catching up on sleep and being able to enjoy my baby further last update so i actually had a pretty okay sleep last night baby slept for four hour chunks after having a bottle of formula overnight which is the most i've slept in a long time my quote-unquote husband is now giving me the silent treatment and acting annoyed at me which i've come to realize he does if things don't go his way i would be so at peace oh my god if this awful incessant man child wasn't speaking to me while i was away at my sister's and sleeping oh my god that would be the most peace i will i would have

felt yeah i'd be like goodbye forever like okay this now that i know what this feels like yeah or the divorce papers i've had a lot of time to read replies and really look back on a lot of things and realize that he uses pranks and jokes as a way to be horrible to people and gain attention his parents think it's funny and that he is a hilarious goofball when in reality he isn't i look back in so many times he's been awful and mean even in 2018 he gave a friend a marijuana gummy before a flight to san francisco from for san francisco to australia long ass flight and his friend had a panic attack in the bathroom on the plane and he still laughs like what's wrong with me one of his greatest tricks he has accidentally unquote let my pet budgie out

that i had prior to one we met but now i look back on it and most certainly on purpose he did that as he doesn't like animals and always said that birds were dirty animals that's so sad what i really what i have really noticed looking back is not just the pranks but he has zero care of someone who is worried or upset about a trick what worried or upset about a trick it in fact eggs up so when he sorry this is just worded wrong so like when he finds out that somebody is mad it aches him on more and he goes to great lengths to trick people into a state of upset then we'll laugh and laugh and brag which just leads me to think he has no empathy for another human being this man is like actually a sociopath like actually and like in a in a violent way

like this is this is like this is abusive yeah to just treat people however you want because you think it's funny that's fucked up you fed your wife your baby's shit and then told your co-workers about it like yeah you think abuse is funny like he and so he calls it a prank that pisses me off well because i don't know the things that are funny are things that make other like other people laugh not things that like you think are funny because you enjoy abusing people i don't know right right like something is fucking wrong with you r is set a little differently for this man and i like people throw around psychopath a lot like i actually like i actually think this man might be a psychopath really it's crazy and also like yeah the fact this was also in in one

of the smosh videos that we're playing which is how i know about it and he said this in the video like this is like the the trope of like my husband burnt our house down like am i overreacting and it's like no leave you're under reacting actually like you that's you need to be you need to be freaking out more than you are like to your point earlier though i'm like yeah this isn't new behavior right there's just too many women who choose to marry and procreate with men who suck i think it's a scarcity complex if i don't have the chance now i'll never have it yeah or like i also feel like it should be okay to also be like alone yeah to be like if i were like if i had the option between like that or being alone i would absolutely choose to be alone are you

fucking kidding me yeah 100 i would rather be able to do whatever i want and have my community instead of be miserable and suffering in a marriage with a grown adult who's supposed to be my partner no way the fact that she's like i don't know it must be the pregnancy hormones but it's like no i think the pregnancy hormones are making you think clearer if you're just now recognizing that these things are problematic and i'm sure i i also feel like i don't know after having a baby you probably have like a hormonal instinct to be like i need to think of ways to protect my baby totally you know i mean that's part of like what postpartum is yeah it's like you're afraid of like the worst case scenario yeah so obviously you're gonna be noticing this

this bullshit your husband's doing to in a different way well because imagine having to deal with that kind of bullshit while also caring for a child and like this is a time where she is like the most like vulnerable and exhausted like i don't care how silly and goofy you are you can be silly and goofy but during that time you should also be the person like at your wife's beckon call because she literally has a gaping wound from delivering your child the disrespect mothers receive enrages me don't even get i've gone off to mr liz about this so many times i'm like the disrespect that mothers receive from their husbands from their children you know i can't blame children too much because you're just kind

of like fucking stupid for a long time until you get old enough to be like oh my god yeah that's must be how my mom felt i don't know but like mom's like going crying in the bathroom you know because they're kids doing them sass and when i was younger i was like you know we're kids but it's like that must be so hurtful yeah she's probably fucking exhausted and then you have her husband doing nothing no way the older i get like my mom will tell me more and more stories about my dad as like her partner and not like my dad and i am like i love it like my dad was showed up so hard for my mom they were absolutely partners in like making decisions so even though i like didn't get along with my dad as a kid he was i love knowing that he was a good and

reliable partner to my mom holy yeah it makes me really happy holy and it's nice to see them in in this kind of like new light yeah so it's a good like bar setting too yeah okay that's like I mean, there is one thing he did that pissed me the fuck off. My mom, after she gave birth to me, yeah, I'm still going to repeat it because it makes me so angry. I'm going to make everybody mad at my dad. But yeah, my mom, they had to remove me with forceps. So my mom is ripped from her vagina to her asshole and she like lost a ton of blood.

And now trying to recover from this traumatic birth is bleeding through pads. like no one else and she's like a zombie essentially and she asked my dad to buy her more pads before he went to work and he said no so that she's like i just remember like trying to walk down the aisles i'm exhausted i'm bleeding yeah she had to go buy herself pads i i'm like i'm gonna go back in time i'm going to get in a time machine and yell at my dad be like this woman gave birth to your both of your first child but also your child yeah she sacrificed her body she could have bled out like for me to live and you can't go get fucking pat i don't care if you're late to work because that has a rationale i don't know no my dad wakes up

so fucking early he's retired and he still wakes up early yeah i would have uh yeah i was just like with the handlebars you can't risk being a little late i don't know yeah no i feel i know i know i'm i'm with you that's that's fucking but i'm glad that he was a good partner the rest of the time yeah that one thing though i'm just like yeah yeah but everyone has their moment but you know at least he didn't make her eat your shit exactly see it's also speaking of parents the fact that this man's parents think that he's funny is just it's it's a familial issue well i wonder if his dad did shit like that to his mom i mean probably or i wonder if it was like to that extent yeah and now the mom thinks it's funny because she thinks it's funny to watch someone else

yeah i mean she's been gas lit for the last yeah however long it's a whole the family is a cult god damn anyway well i'm exhausted emotionally yeah i'm still eating dinner i know i'm i'm I'm starving. I'm so hungry. It's 8.30. We have recorded for an hour. And we set up our cameras for an hour. If you're watching this on YouTube, thank you.

You're welcome. And you're welcome. You want to sing us out? Not really. We'll do it. Okay, thank you. We love you, children. I participated.

You did. You were doing- I gave what I could. Undertones. Yeah. Last week when Frank and I recorded the episode that it was ruined and we'll never see the day unfortunately he had to leave the room he was like i'm not he can't be here for this i turn it off now i'm listening to the episodes i turn it off before i have to hear you guys think what

i i get it okay all right well we love you bye