The Hoely Hour - Holding A Grudge & A Fart

Episode Date: May 15, 2026

Mr. Liz fills in for Amelia this week, and as our resident man over 30, he answers questions like if God is real and explains why mini vans are cool actually. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. c terms you're kind of like a toddler in that way i'm a hundred percent like a toddler if i don't get my snack in my sleep i'm gonna have a little tantrum yeah i will Amelia is out of town this week and very busy so we have a very special guest coach boyfriend coach boyfriend your favorite coach boyfriend Mr. Liz is gonna be filling in for her this week welcome Mr. Liz thank you I don't I don't know what to say um we were just talking about uh something that mr liz invented for the summer yes um where to begin well i guess we'll start off with the name no no no i'm gonna do a little bit more

of a roll up okay picture this you are out on a lovely restaurant patio hold on will you talk more appropriately into the mic what do you mean like hold it normally ice cream cone yeah why because it sounds better okay and a little closer to your mouth i'm sorry it's very awkward for me to hold maybe you need to sit up more what listeners my posture is being judged the way i'm holding the mic is being judged it's not being judged i am asking you as an audio technician of this podcast you're right i'm just trying to do my job guy somebody outside just moved their window in a way that reflected the sunlight directly into my eyes okay hopefully this sounds crispy great

i won't be editing this out let it be known that i do care about audio quality thank you i roll back my complaining see and that's the beauty of our relationship is you can change your mind what did you convince me of last week oh that uh that minivans were good you did you fully changed my name on my mind on minivans yeah so we were sitting at a bar i asked if you could have only one car in the slot what would it be i picked a mini cooper yeah i mean there's a cool mini cooper but then i said not this van and you were like god no van vans fucking suck what was one of your anti-van well i i didn't want to it was specifically a minivan yeah and i didn't want a minivan because i grew up having to learn to drive in my mom's minivan

and driving a minivan both was a pain in the ass and embarrassing as a teenager and you know we don't have kids why why would we have a minivan sure but then mr liz changed my mind yeah i think just all the the practical reasons about it um but you you had said something about like you either this mini cooper or this suv and i and i said well if if you're going to get an suv you might as well get a minivan and then that's when you were like no for the reasons that you just stated um and like an suv and a van have the same footprint they take about they take up the same amount of space in your garage but van is going to get generally better or the same gas mileage you've got way more room inside so like if you did want to go on a trip with some friends

a minivan would be the way to go i think what really sold you is i was like imagine the passenger princess setup that you could have in this bad boy like imagine if we were driving somewhere and you fully wanted to take a nap that you could just like flat lay one of the back seats and just pass out or fully like scooch the seat back and have your feet up and recline because sometimes you like putting your feet up on the dashboard and i don't allow that you don't like that well i mean it's it's not smart to have your feet on the dashboard i know that if the airbag goes off your legs get blown off like a barbie doll my knees are gonna blow into my face and i love you a lot and i will be i will die if that happens or be severely injured yeah um yeah mr liz sold

me on the minivan that and just like maybe one day we'll hypothetically have i mean i don't think we should get a minivan i just don't think that minivans are i think they're overhated yeah that's fair like if you're going to be schlepping anything it's going to be way easier to do that in a minivan than suv um going skiing it'd be really nice to be able to get like fully ready in the van i'm thinking like if you take the the back seats out especially yeah some people that have done that it's been pretty great you've got the back gate that lifts up you can use that it's kind of a rain cover if you're doing anything outdoorsy you want to have a little spot to sit in the back bumper my my dad used to joke that um they would take us to prom in the minivan

and they would just take out the middle seats so then it would feel like a limo yeah it's pretty great i also don't think every time i've driven a minivan especially as an adult you've got like pretty good sight lines i don't think i've driven a minivan as an adult yeah i don't only as a teenager i i generally enjoy driving a van it's you can see a lot of stuff um you just take it easy yeah go the speed limit in the in the slow lane i was sold on the minivan it changed my mind um but back to what we were originally going to talk about which is your uh idea for well it started as for the summer but it could be yeah i think these will be helpful you know long term any point in the year but especially in the summer as more people come out from the you know from

being in there yeah when the sun's out everyone's out exactly okay so imagine you are at a bar or a brewery having a lovely time and then all of a sudden someone starts being way too loud obnoxiously maybe they're like yelling something or they're like way too drunk or someone just started uh revving their car for no reason whatsoever um what you can do is just hand them what i call a vibe citation so they're fucking up the vibe yeah so a vibe citation is just uh a little slip that says you know vibe citation at the top um and then something like like hey you're uh you're kind of ruining the vibe you've been cited you know knock it off and that's that's all you need to do just give it to them you don't really need to explain anything by warning yeah

if they ask like they know what they're doing um but if they ask a question you could just maybe uh just like tell them tell them what's wrong and then uh that everyone would appreciate it if they stopped when did you come up with this idea was it in the moment yeah we were doing something and i was like we were sitting outside at a bar yeah um or no we were at like a yeah a happy hour enjoying some snacks outside and uh a car was like revving its engine oh this was before we were hanging out no i think i thought of it there's something else that spurred it because that was the i think it was someone being really drunk and loud when you met up with some of your friends yeah yeah i just wish i had

a slip that i could hand them and and then but here here's the the other part of it um we're also going to have uh vibe vibe appreciation yeah vibe appreciations so it's it's a it's a positive slip that you give someone when they are contributing to the vibe in a great way in a way that is like stands out like wow this person is really making the moment they did something cool or funny that like made my day they're just you know being really positive force in this environment right now gesture maxing uh not necessarily gesture maxing i feel like gesture maxing can can be a citation or a an appreciation or an appreciation um but because you can't just be out you're giving out citations exactly you can't only be negative all the time yeah then you

yourself will have to get a vibe citation if you're always negative so if you ever give out a vibe citation you can only give out another one if after that you have given out a vibe appreciation so you must have a balanced vibe checkbook so to speak i like that yeah a vibe checkbook so i'll get these printed um if listeners want any they can contact liz and amelia we'll get these made get these printed up asap um well i was like should we call it the vibe police and then mr liz said no because he doesn't want to be a cop yeah 100 not well cab it's uh it's just like a thing that all citizens should be able to do yeah like a citizen's appreciate or you know how does how does a citizen's arrest even happen do you just say yeah you just go

you're under citizen's arrest citizen's arrest um i'm gonna beat you up now no i don't know i don't i'm not sure citizens arrests are real okay because i was like at what point is that just like kidnapping or something well i think i think the concept is you just hold someone until the cops show up oh okay okay but i don't know if a citizen's arrest is like an actual has any sort of legal standing or protections or anything like that that'd be crazy if it does mr liz everyone's been asking if you believe in god has everyone been asking that no okay well i don't i'm not sure how much conversation this is going to generate well uh why don't you why don't you believe in god and do you believe in anything else oh man well i don't think god makes

sense at all like the idea of like a dude in the sky yeah sky daddy there there's just uh there's just a a guy in the sky that protects obviously he's a man yeah just the fact that it's a it's like a white dude with a beard it kind of makes me think that white dudes with beards just made this up yeah um and just how like every culture has their own version of it it kind of seems like i think you guys just made this up to feel better i want to know why it's always a man i mean there's plenty of religions where there's um either multiple gods some of which are women or like you know some sort of gaia earth mother god i think that christianity exists the way it does because uh men wanted to take credit for creating life that's good thanks yeah a mean

mean rack of ribs isn't that what where either adam or eve came from a rib yeah eve came from came from adam's rib okay yeah so man was first then ribs and women well and women is why bad things happen because eve ate the apple when she wasn't supposed to yeah and then they she became they became ashamed of their nakedness happy wife happy life wife bad uh i hate my wife i hate my wife yeah speaking about christianity and all the traditions there and and confessions confessionals yeah what was the confession that you just made to me uh did i make a confession to you yeah about the tv show oh um so we started watching smiling friends well let's go let's go back

even further you know how there's never anything to watch on tv besides like three comfort shows um and i didn't want to watch any of my comfort shows and we were flipping through some of the choices of what to watch and then mr liz was like have you seen smiling friends and he tried to make me watch it before and i was like i hate this i was also pretty high it was not a good set or setting to introduce smiling friends no i was like this is i was also very high when i wasn't even just a little high i was way too high oh no and then i was like oh no i don't want to watch that and then he's like let's just watch one episode changed my mind it changed my mind entirely i kept on giving you a little side eye i was like oh i think she's laughing over there yeah so she's

smiling we watched it the other day and that we started watching it the other day and then last night we watched a couple episodes before bed but mr liz goes to bed before i do um and i have like a 50 step bedtime routine on sundays so i was in one of my final steps just kind of waiting letting my skin soak in its fifth mask of the evening and i was like i think i'm gonna watch more so i watched a few more episodes without it i got through most of season two yeah there there has been some um some show trauma in our relationship of someone watching a show usually me without the other person after we started watching it together so i definitely had it coming but i just thought it was especially funny that you're like no i don't want to watch this

show and then it's not good yeah and then uh like two days later binge watching it initially i just felt like it was too weird it is pretty weird and there's i mean i think you have to be in the right mindset from it for it because a lot of the jokes is like oh this character just starts screaming randomly yeah which can be a little annoying but overall the show's sense of humor is just so good well i guess i have a religious another religious question for you okay if you don't do you believe in anything outside of i don't know do you have any sort of belief of what happens when you die or something i think you you your energy like your actual energy just returns to the earth and the universe like you you just biodegrade in those nutrients and

your body heat finally dissipates everything like that just returns to the world so do you have any belief in like justice or fairness um alive i mean ultimately no i think that usually well there are certainly cases where if you're a good person more good things work out for you just because people like being with you and like helping with you if you're good but there's plenty of examples of someone that's always a good person that just gets the bad things happen yeah just the worst things happen to them and then conversely terrible

people being rewarded for their terrible behavior so i think that that kind of shows there's no cosmic hand at work there yeah um despite that i still just try to have a net positive uh output i don't believe there is a cosmic justice at least not here not not on earth no not on earth well and that's why i think there's also this creation of like the idea of heaven and hell like oh you have to be a good person on planet earth otherwise you'll go to hell but i also think that's a way to shirk any sort of accountability while you're alive how how so i guess it not shirk responsibility of being good i'm trying to think of how to explain this better um but like just assuming that justice

will be taken care of like after you die instead of holding people accountable for gotcha i see what you're saying like creating a worse off world yeah i mean i think most christians don't even live in a way that would be according to the teachings to get them into heaven yeah i don't think that they truly believe that there is a hell because if they did they'd be acting way differently like the concept of hell is crazy eternal suffering if you're not good the fact that more people aren't good that say they believe in hell is wild yeah hell is an A-I-M-L-M. Did you have a couple of questions from Reddit you thought would be good to discuss?

Yeah, let me pull them up. We were just talking about what to podcast about, and I thought we could give the old AskMenOver30 a subreddit visit. i do have one other question before you visit the reddit questions yes i was thinking i was wondering how do you as a man like what are some telltale signs that another man sucks like what are just some like men that's male specific you as an you as another man like how do you clock when like a dude is gonna be shitty uh if they change up your their behavior around when it's just you or just men like if they think that like oh now it's just the boys i can act

differently of course there's going to be a level of like changing a little bit but if there's any sort of fundamental change there that's generally a pretty bad sign that's a good one i'm just thinking i'm thinking about all the weird guys i used to work with what about them was weird um it just kind of got back to like what i was just saying where if it's like just you and them in a meeting room and they're like okay now it's okay for me to be misogynistic it's like okay so you're just assuming that i'm also misogynistic you know um all right this is uh then over 30 i mean this is the ass men over 30 subreddit so i guess everyone every question can start like this but what is one unwritten rule about getting older you wish someone told you in your 20s

um the top comment is your body will turn on you get ahead of the game and do it now this person was or is age 40 to 44 would you agree with that absolutely what are some of the biggest changes you've noticed between your 20s and 30s with your body um well i think i'm in i take care of my body better now than i do in my 20s yeah so i don't it's hard for me to to say how it feels and reacts different because like i i mean i don't i don't drink anymore i don't smoke weed anymore i generally eat better sleep yeah you're like you're like a i i just feel like some tech douchebag would have like a wet dream about you because you just like

go to bed early and and wake up early and he bikes to and from work and he he also works out after biking all that like three days a week and then he bikes for fun and let me tell you folks you feel great if you do that it is except for the jiu-jitsu part you feel it feels bad after that like mr liz is very active he gets enough sleep every night or at least tries to i think for the most part you get a lot of sleep like you get good sleep yeah if i don't get like a real good seven to eight hours of sleep i am a cranky pants i i feel i would i would say even seven hours is not very much for you well i feel like you're getting you're clocking eight nine hours a night i rarely clock nine hours because generally he's waking up early on the weekends too

gotta pack in the fun well you go do you go do like your little outdoor activities that you know i wouldn't want to do before i wake up and then when you come home he he's like a you're like a caricature of like the perfect man like then he comes home and then and then he brings me he brings me coffee and then he'll sit and hang out with me for a little bit and chat with me while i drink my coffee and i'm like half awake yeah well what i think is funny is like so i like to go out and do the things i know you don't want to do while you're still sleeping yeah so i i have i have gotten up i've like fully gotten ready for the day eaten my breakfast done an activity come back my mind is like fully on and like ready to have a normal conversation maybe i'm like

really excited about an idea or something and then uh i hear one of the cats start or not one of the cats i hear grandpa screaming which means oh liz is awake and he wants attention so i go bring you your coffee and then i'm like bouncing around and like open up the shades and you're just like ah was that this morning when you opened the shades or was it yesterday oh that i think it was this morning this morning yeah yeah you opened the shades before my eyes were ready to see that level of brightness well we also didn't have the like the secondary shade close it was way brighter when we opened it i opened the blackout curtains i forgot what else i was gonna say well we're talking about what yeah your body what to do in

your 20s i was i wish i i wish i got in the habit of stretching in my 20s because i don't stretch now because it hurts and if i had started doing that in my 20s i probably would have built it as a habit and it would be just a healthy thing that i can continue doing instead of being afraid to stretch now in general it's good to do before and after a workout anyways and with how much biking you do you absolutely should stretch a little bit more uh what else are some good things to to start in your 20s that are that would help you 30s and beyond saving money yeah getting in the habit of of doing that yeah getting in the habit of maximize maxing out your 401k oh yeah what i what i would recommend is this to anyone who uh i guess anyone at all just start getting in not

getting the habit just start putting money into either a retirement savings account or a 401k and whenever you get any sort of raise or increase in in um pay uh increase your contribution to your 401k until you're able to max it out instead of just having lifestyle creep where now you're just buying more expensive coffee or clothes or whatever yeah help help absorb that lifestyle creep by baking it into your retirement savings and that shit adds up over time real fast oh this person suggests um two things that i don't see often in these posts um learn how to ask for help and learn what your anxiety limits are i like that a lot um it can i definitely feel like it can be hard to ask for help and and also like in what manner

um i guess in like in a lot of stuff whether it be a project at work where it's like fuck i bit off more than i can chew um you know going to your boss and being like i'm gonna need help with this or i'm not gonna be able to finish this on time they're generally pretty much always like okay you know instead of being like you're a bad employee um uh i guess i asked for help a lot for anything mechanical related car bike walk wise um what about like mental and emotional help never that's part of the the masculinity crisis exactly um no it took me a decent amount of time to feel comfortable asking for help there yeah i think i feel almost like the opposite like i can i can do that but i i still don't

feel comfortable asking for help at work i don't think i've ever really done that even though i would have liked to yeah how often do you ask for help with something physically from someone who's not me uh i guess not often but i also don't really like i don't really find myself in situations where i need like physical assistance yeah i guess at my job i do need to be like moving things or holding things that are hard for one person to do sometimes yeah i guess at most too i ask you just to hold something for me will you hold my cup while i sort through my purse things like that uh this person suggests don't hold a grudge it's a valuable waste of

uh energy and mental space but i don't know if i necessarily believe i love holding the grudge i i i know you love holding a grudge sometimes a grudge can be really motivating like i think i don't know like if you like kind of hate somebody you can go into this like mental competition with them and it's it can be like invigorating for a little while you know it gets me fired up not so much now but i would say definitely in my in my 20s like holding a grudge could get me fired up enough to be like i'm thinking of like my very terrible first boss that i had like i when i moved on i was like fuck that lady i'm gonna like do so much better than she like ever thought i could do she was holding me back and i'm gonna prove it and it did really

propel me like further in my career yeah i think i think but once you get to that point of like doing the thing like getting to that point in your career yeah then you gotta get over the grudge yeah i i also think you should you should look back and check your decibel levels from this segment because i feel like just you thinking about the grudge you started to get heated and started spiking a little bit probably i do still have a grudge against my last boss there's something about that grudge i just can't let go of like i'm like it's my little grudge you know like there's just i know i'll have to let it go soon but i'm just not done with it yet you know does that make sense i'm not done with the grudge i know i will i don't i like i know on paper it's

not good to hold a grudge but i it's it's my guilty pleasure i love holding a grudge it's is so much fun it feels like a little thread you know and then you cut the thread okay like maybe the more the bigger grudge that you have and like the earlier on in the grudge that you are holding it like it's more like a string and then as time goes on and you mature it becomes less and less until it's just a little thread yeah see i just think it's fun to have an enemy sometimes like it just makes life interesting it's fun just to have like just one person you're like nah fuck that guy what type of grudge do you hold like who do you hold like what are the circumstances in which you hold a grudge okay so well this one person that is a relatively fresh

grudge that i'm holding i'm trying to think about how to anonymize this um uh i don't i also don't know who you're about to say i can only guess we've been talking about him a lot oh okay okay yeah he he works at a business that i frequent and an employee at that business um is starting their own business that's in the same uh industry the same industry because of uh just a bunch of different bullshit that's going on in that business and one of the pieces the bullshit is this guy and this guy handles a key aspect of the business and because vibe citation huge vibe citation against this guy but because of how he's been acting uh he i have a huge grudge against him and now i'm like i'm gonna help this dude get his business going and do it

The other dude. Yeah, the other dude who's starting his own business. Help dude B get his business going just to show dude A how fucking bad he is at his business. I wish you could tell a little bit more. Yeah, I just don't want to right now. That's fair. Yeah, I don't think they would ever hear, but he's also fucking crazy. So I don't want to get doxxed or anything like that.

Fair. that's valid um this person says for the love of god if you're sleepy go to bed don't stay on the couch your back will thank you that's for sure true about the back but for me it's like i don't know there's been so many times where i've been like falling asleep on the couch and you're like just go to bed cutie i'm like no i'm so comfy but as soon as you get up you know it's it's just you just just go to bed just get the real sleep you haven't really fallen asleep on the couch lately i know you're you've been more diligent about well going to bed getting all i started to realize how much sleep affects me like good sleep is just amazing i saw some mr liz will just

like think of something and then do it it's crazy you'll be like oh i feel better when i get more sleep i'm gonna go to bed early and then you go to bed and you close your eyes and you're asleep there's no contemplating involved he'll roll around for like 10 minutes and he'll be like i'm having a hard time falling asleep i'm like you don't even know you don't even know what it's like to have a hard time falling asleep i was talking to my sibling about this literally just hours ago about um the difference in our our sleep setups well you've got all your different gadgets and whatnot i can't i can't like you don't even seem like you're tired when you fall asleep like you're just like i'm going to sleep now no i i am tired i'm so tired and sometimes

i can't fall asleep unless i'm tired and i get that i get the nighttime zoomies yeah so what helps me not get the nighttime zoomies is just working myself to physical exhaustion now i know that's not for everybody but let me tell you that is it works like a charm i do sleep better on the days i exercise yes yep yeah and i i've compared you to a what dog is it belgian malinois yeah i've compared you to that before because they just need constant like physical activity to be tuckered out you're kind of like a toddler in that way i'm a hundred percent like a toddler if i don't get my snack in my sleep i'm gonna have a little tantrum yeah i will it's gonna be cranky You have seen how cranky I get when I can't go to bed when I want to.

And there's something about a 6'4 man being cranky. Well, we did measure you. You're closer to 6'4. No. Yes. I was the one literally measuring you. Okay. Regardless, you're a big guy.

Yep. There's something about a big guy having a tantrum that is not cute and easy to manage the way maybe like a toddler would be imagine a toddler is six four and overstimulated you don't want to see this man when he's hot when he's too hot i'm too hot god forbid i'm too hot and hungry fucking tearing off my clothes looking for a snack that's what happens when i get home from work and you're like you've got the fireplace on for some reason it's like it's like 68 degrees outside you're you've got the fireplace on i'm like drenched with sweat coming back from a bike

ride i stepped inside the house and i'm just like what the fuck i need to be naked and have a snack right now that warm i turn on the fireplace in the winter and sometimes we have warm winters here in seattle you are just warm from physical activity it's true there have been a few times though where i was like this is egregious he'll come home i'll be having a nice warm morning by the fireplace and he'll be like can i turn the fireplace off yeah no just go sit on the balcony cool down i mean it's like the opposite of when someone is like can i turn the heat up and the dad's like put a sweater on like i'm like i'm too hot and you're like take your fucking sweatshirt off or something like it's like yeah because you're wearing a t-shirt and long pants normally

i'm just walking around in my underwear because i'm too hot all the time he looks like a bigfoot lumbering around a hair a big hairy guy stomping around in his underwear yep well i don't think you stomp around but i i do imagine that you have loud footfall i i'm quite like a little mouse with my footfall with your footfalls yes how am i not quite like a little mouse sometimes i have my noise canceling headphones on and i don't know how loud i'm being um i mean your your keyboard is clacky as hell you got that for me i know because i knew you'd like it but it's very loud and your nails don't help um it's pretty much just that my clacky clacky keyboard yeah i try to be quiet when i'm getting ready for bed

and you're already asleep yeah you you generally never keep me up unless you're asking me questions well in those circumstances it would be perfectly logical for you to still be awake because maybe three to five seconds have passed and i'll say i'll ask you a question and then you'll be like and then i'll be like are you sleeping and you're like almost i'm like what the fuck it hasn't even been a full minute and you're almost asleep already we were just talking yeah so to me we're having a conversation and then to you you're like my eyes are closed therefore i am asleep ideally i'm sorry it's okay i know i can tell that you're generally excited about the question so i try to answer it i get the girlfriend zoomies at night you sure do

just go into goblin mode go a little crazy for a good 10 to 15 minutes oh okay here's a here's a question that i found interesting do and i'm curious about from your perspective okay um like is it true about women as well um do all men fantasize about violence um i hope this subreddit can help me settle a debate that i've been having with my husband age 42 he insists that all men on the basis of being men having testosterone think about acting violently he claims that even the most mellow of men will if pushed hard enough or far enough fantasize about a violent response to solve a conflict what say you is this an exaggeration does it have a grain of truth that's propaganda propaganda by big masculinity well so uh this person says in their 65 to 69

if violence is not on your list of problem solving skills then you lack imagination the list should be very long and violence should be near the end but it must be there um it may be last on the list but it should be there male or female uh the alternative is to be a victim now i would agree with this um to some level i mean yeah like it's not my first uh should be a last resort yeah sure um i i think that it it's good to have that as a like a possibility should should things get pushed far enough because some like it's kind of the like bystander effect where you just like freeze and do nothing like you need to be ready if if someone were to really like invade your space yeah um and like completely be crossing every boundary with

you then at a certain point that's the only way to make them stop that's that's it that would be have to be an incredibly extreme scenario but i'm curious about what you think i mean i like don't really find myself fantasizing about violence yeah there's a big difference between fantasizing about violence and uh being cognizant it's something that you may have to do in a terrible situation yeah i think that's more of the circumstance like i i also think that in this comparison like do all men fantasize about violence i'm assuming this person doesn't mean like get into a physical fist fight right they're probably fantasizing about gun violence i would guess you know there's always this kind of like

i'm gonna defend my house or whatever the fuck well i wonder if if english is this for if it is this person's first language because the sentence where it says uh he claims that even the most mellow of men will have pushed hard enough or far enough fantasize about violence and a response to solve a conflict when you're being pushed you don't fantasize you start yeah you imagine you you start to yeah actually think about what are we going to do here there's a like i would think that myself included most men don't fantasize about violence yeah but i would agree that if you push someone far enough they most people will become violent at a certain point i've noticed more and more people being like well violence is the only way we can solve

like whatever is happening well especially in America like violence is going to be the only answer and I think that is also just like asking for a huge escalation before anything else like I think for the

most part people do not want to become violent and if you really think like legitimately imagine yourself like oh do I want to like harm people to get my point across like would i feel comfortable killing someone no you wouldn't you wouldn't give it when put into that circumstance you probably would feel very

uncomfortable and not want to do that otherwise we would be seeing that yeah and they'll be like protests are stupid i was talking to someone who um works for a company that is questionably uh moral is it palantir no but uh i think he would work for palantir but um he was saying that he doesn't think a violent revolution is even possible and that the only thing that would work would be a general strike yeah and i was like you know what i think i i agree with that i mean i think yeah a strike would be way more effective too well yeah um i don't think a general strike will ever happen unfortunately but i do agree that it would be the only way to to create like legitimate change that you would maybe want out of a violent revolution

yeah i think i think if it were um even 10 percent of the population were to participate in a strike or even to participate in um like claiming zero on their taxes like that's all it would take for change to happen but that's still a lot of people 10 of the population yeah um this question is what did you not get until you were 30 plus um top top response is staying calm i finally understand that he that you have no control over how someone acts but you do have control over how you react makes life so much easier just to take a deep breath evaluate the situation and be rational i think that's pretty huge i was definitely way more reactive in my 20s now in my 30s and still working on that but i would say

you're less reactive do you feel like sometimes i think about i i was telling um frank which is what we call emilia's boyfriend just as a refresher i know who frank is uh okay sorry um i was i said that we had we started dating when you were 26 oh my god i know that was his reaction too i was like i i think about that sometimes and i'm like that's crazy holy shit 26 yeah you were like 26 going on 27 and i was 28 going on 29 wow we were infants especially you yeah baby how do you feel about that now it feels crazy i was 26 once yeah knowing you now i feel like i know a completely different version of you than your friends from college i mean i was a fucking terror so yeah do you feel like i robbed you of

your 20s half of your 20s not at all not in the slightest okay you you helped me elevate my my the last half of my 20s oh good how i mean the whole bed maxing thing is pretty great that's true liz really knows how to get a comfortable bed set up oh boy do i like to be comfortable and as someone who likes to get a lot of sleep it's quite nice yeah introduced him to blackout curtains um i feel like together we've really upgraded self-care weekend because i had done self-care weekend for two or three years before we met yeah and they were good for sure but we really nailed this last one every year we've kind of unlocked something different this year was really fucking great i can't remember if i have if i've talked about this on the podcast but um listeners each

year we have we've talked about this okay we have self-care week okay well it's always a good reminder give them a refresher yeah it's self-care weekend is a a long weekend ideally where you do self-care activities like get a massage and a facial and it's basically it treat yourself it's the treat yourself episode of parks and rec except more of an emphasis on relaxation and spa and less of a just go shopping vibe yeah less of a batman suit vibe but the the mentality is still kind of the same like if you're kind of thinking about it it's like no just go for it treat yourself yeah it's a good opportunity and this last one we had was in uh uh was san juan island yeah yeah we stayed in friday harbor um we stayed at a hotel yeah stayed at a hotel that had a

cool view of the harbor the first night we got there there was like some event where they like set off a cannon oh yeah so when we were checking in they were like warning everybody like they're like hey 6 p.m about an hour there's going to be a loud explosion because we're just don't be alarmed okay it was like in honor of some someone who died or something yeah from a canon accident earlier that year which was deeply ironic wait really no i was like this is in honor of old mike who blew his last hand off fucking around with the cannon but we also ate a fancy dinner yeah we uh cool small restaurant that what i really liked about that fine dining is that the head chef is a graphic designer and designed the whole restaurant's

visual identity um so it's cool to have that like combination of like the the brand and look and feel and layout of the restaurant all coming from the same person who is making all the dishes it's really really cool cohesive experience well and ever since i watched the bear i now know everything about fine dining um yeah you kept on saying to the to the head chef well in the bear they do this this is just like the bear except they weren't yelling at each other because you're sitting right there watching them make all the food um uh i was gonna say something else now i can't remember what it was was it about self-care weekend or about something about your 30s probably something about oh yeah your 30s

we've elevated self-care weekend i elevated your sleeping experience um you introduced me to and this is very recent but trader joe's daily sunscreen it's the only sunscreen that i will put on my face now i like it a lot it's a dupe of the super goop unseen sunscreen um listeners if your man or woman or they them doesn't like putting sunscreen on their face get them this sunscreen yeah when you first put it on it'll feel a little weird but then like it once it dries it's like i don't think it feels weird i feel like it to me it feels like putting on more of a moisturizer than uh because to me sunscreen is like oh it's just like greasy stuff that i'm just gonna have to scrub off my face at the end of the day and this is none of the sunscreen i have feels

like that on my face the the the trader joe's one especially doesn't feel like that but most of the sunscreens i put on my face are more like lotiony but mr liz has beautiful skin and he doesn't really do anything besides wash it regularly yeah you don't moisturize no washing it regularly is a is a legitimate skincare regimen you just have such beautiful small pores i do think perfect skin i wonder if sweating a lot helps with that probably actually yeah you sweat a lot and then you wash your face you're a very you're a very hygienic man which i really appreciate exfoliate my face on other men's chests in jiu-jitsu just to clarify yeah do you have any closing thoughts um if you got what you need i'm good to wrap it up all right should i fart into the mic yeah

that was a perfect mic fart Oh, yeah.