The Hoely Hour - Indoctrinate Me, Daddy

Episode Date: January 30, 2026

The world is on fire! Everything is bad! But did you know that it’s scientifically proven that optimism and consuming good content is good for your brain? This woman’s mormon husband is addicted to porn, by the way. And Ye apologized…again. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Polly is digging a hole she just stopped because Amelia put the mic here she goes she's going to China y'all damn girl if anybody has any advice on like how to fucking video record this podcast not on my phone yeah we want a solution but also we are on a budget but would be willing to invest we did buy web cameras which what happened with that i completely forgot we were going to use riverside and then we had all these issues and then we kind of never got back to it but all my homies say riverside it's like can i need riverside to have a better competitor yeah please should we start that i think we've had this exact conversation about four times here's the thing

i don't want that to be my responsibility you know what i mean it feels like there's a lot of liability stuff like i really don't want to be a business owner oh i do i really want to be a business owner i really want to be a business owner in the sense of like having ideas and not having to execute on any of them yeah i mean you know how like delegating like people like senior people in senior positions don't actually do anything besides like schmooze would like email you about schmoozing that's what you want to do but i want to be like an ethical an ethical schmoozer i want to be an ethical schmoozer yeah like i don't think a ceo should be allowed to make 10 times more than their lowest paid employee yeah so if you can't afford a certain if you

can't afford to pay your lowest employee a good salary then don't be i don't think you should have a business i think that that's like a fair litmus test well i'm thinking about how like kaiser permanente nurses are on strike right now and i think there's another group like another health care group that's on strike but kaiser permanente and nurses specifically because obviously they want more pay but they're also demanding all of these other things which are perfectly reasonable like they want to they want more guarantees that they're going to be safe in the workplace like i think all of their requests are reasonable yeah and i'm like do you know how much the fucking ceo is making at kaiser permanente probably a pretty obscene amount of

money in in the millies yeah oh in the millions easily and the people who are actually saving people's lives they're you know the ones who went to school to go do this and you're just like an elbow rubbing jerk off yeah you deserve five million for that like right a year yeah that's oh no nurses want six figures i mean give it to them nurses and teachers are two of the most like underappreciated uh yeah jobs and i is that like an exclusively american thing no no respect for education i don't know i know in china they take education very seriously yeah like do they pay their teachers a livable wage i would hope so it does feel like very like uniquely american if you're from another country and you're a teacher do you make a livable wage please let

us know that would be such a crazy demographic to have just like a teacher in another country i mean we might yeah oh yeah or if you i guess we could also look it up like what do teachers in other countries make but we could but it's more fun to just yeah i'd rather hear from real people yeah i don't want to hear from google's ai analyst or whatever it's called at the top you know what i think is strange but maybe good is that these ai bots don't have names like chat gpt doesn't just like have a name and like google's yeah it's not like alexa right or like right we're like past that i like gemini i like that name because i like astrology hell yeah do you remember mozilla firefox yeah i remember firefox do you still use firefox still

exist no I use chrome I use chrome but I'm gonna switch we'll see if I end up doing this I think I want to switch to brave I've never heard of that I started looking into I don't want to be tracked anymore I don't want to be I don't want to be sold ads I don't want to see ads I I don't care I want you to leave me alone yeah they'll always find you we're gonna be advertising in dreams soon no um meanwhile i'm addicted to white noise earplugs so i did a sleep study did i tell you this no i like did i wanted to see if i had sleep apnea because i wake up so much in the middle of the night and so i did like a an at-home sleep apnea test and i got all this data back about my sleep and apparently i'm only in deep sleep for like 10 minutes a night how how do they

know that um breathing heart rate uh I had like a bunch of monitors on I had a heart monitor on I mean I feel like it would be hard to get sleep with all of those things on that's true is it pretty easy it was pretty easy I thought it was going to be more difficult I think it would be harder like in one of those sleep studies where you have to like go and sleep like in a lab they like make it look like a hotel room but you're like you have like things hooked up to your head shit yeah how do you get like a real read be like i'm stressed i think that they must take that into account in their numbers yeah like it's like not comfortable or fun to be here yeah to be trying to sleep here and i'm in the sleep study because i am having problems sleeping my mom has sleep

apnea she did her sleep study and found out that she wakes up 72 times an hour what more than once a minute isn't that insane how is that she would wake up so exhausted she just like would like her throat would close and she would wake up 72 times an hour wait so does now she's a yeah she has a cute little c-pad my dad calls it her snorkel her snorkel that's so cute well i what i can't remember what i was originally going on about we're talking about oslo headphones before that we were talking about oh brave the browser oh okay yes you're so smart um i'm gonna make an ai and name it amelia oh my god that's the way my heart do that i would never make an ai i also don't know how to um yeah brave is like one of the few browsers

you can use oh but i was looking at incogni oh which is like delete me i've seen you should use delete me and use my code uh oh 20 drop it here okay amelia 20 for 20 off your delete me they are not sponsoring this but they gave Amelia a code hell yeah and I actually honestly I only work with brands that I believe in and delete me I had been wanting to work with them since I got those death threats because I used them and I was like this is the best fucking shit ever they send you all these reports of like where they found your name and stuff it's great I would recommend Amelia 20 Amelia 20 on delete me delete me.com and that one is also highly recommended I was just looking at incognito because one of the newsletters I subscribe to also had a code and

i trust everything they say so incogni but now i'm gonna do delete me delete me fantastic incogni sponsors like a bunch of youtubers that i like yeah yeah they they do sponsor a ton of different content creators i think they do a good job at picking creators to work with yeah they probably big ass budget but i was gonna do that and they call all like the data brokers and data collectors and say hey remove this person from your shit yeah and then they're like well we don't want to and they're like well you fucking have to because i requested it so that's what they do uh it is a subscription service and then because it takes a while right there's like over 300 like data brokers or something um and then the other one i wanted to do was get a get a vpn oh yeah yeah

i really wish that i knew vpns existed when i was studying abroad because i couldn't watch any of my shows i was really pissed i mean that feels also like not something i would have known no in college no no way in the in the 2010s polly is digging a hole she just stopped because amelia put the mic here she goes she's going to china y'all damn girl um we have a lot to talk about today we do and i'm in the mood i'm in the mood to yap hell yeah i fucking love a good yap um should we start or end with this i brought this up forgot to do it last week what is the best thing that happened to you this week or today oh yeah i said maybe we could call it like what's holy to you what's holy to me or what yeah what are you worshiping this week that sounds a

little too culty or you could just tell tell me the best thing i kind of like what am i worshiping this week it feels like kind of sexy like yeah what are you worshiping but like in like a like fuck yeah like indoctrinate me daddy in kind of like a magical thinking like yeah woo woo sexy way yeah the way that like the catholic aesthetic of stained glass and like being kind of spooky is sexy yeah and i feel like that's a universal truth yeah um i think their architecture slays i feel like i'm worshiping a few things this week first of all i got new glasses and yeah they have they are fun they have changed the fucking game for me colors look different who would have thunk i have an astigmatism that kind of kicks my ass and i didn't realize it

until i started wearing glasses so that is exciting but what i was going to say before that is um i started painting again and it has been so good for my soul i love that for you yeah so i'm worshiping getting back into i just fucking love crafts it really keeps me sane you you the amount you craft is wild to me thank you i don't know how you do so many things i don't know how frank hasn't kicked me out honestly there well i was talking to our hair girl about this shout out to summer hey summer watches this what yeah she watches our podcast um what the fuck i didn't know oh my god now i'm nervous she's so cool she is very cool um but we were talking we were talking about how you crochet because she was talking about like she wants to learn how to knit

and i was like you could also crochet amelia crochets crocheting is so much easier to bring places with you because you only need one and well and then i was like she's always doing some new craft and learning a new thing and then she was like we were talking about the two different types of adhd or i guess there is more than two types but like you have this like i need to be doing something that is interesting to me like all of the time yeah and it's very productive and mine is like i want to do something i feel bad that i haven't been doing it i'm frozen i'm gonna lay down and i can't start a task because i have to plan the task from beginning to end i have to plan everything that happens before the task what needs to happen during the task and

if there's an after than that but you do feel like a very type a adhd it fucking sucks i want my house to be clean that's so real you really it's like i get into a fucking if i'm not in the mood to clean i will not clean you know like yeah you know but if i'm in the mood that's not logical it's like what if i do a little bit every day that would be so much i know nicer mr liz has this level of self-discipline that is insane to me it's incomprehensible well like just like wakes up early rides his bike to and from work every fucking day he's very regimented does that give you some like like that would make me feel bad about myself it kind of does like because frank goes to the gym every morning and is and then like runs a mile all before i wake up i

and i'm like to be fair i think that men especially when they hit 30 like something happens and they're like i need to tinker in the garage and wake up early like yeah they just get this little like as they get older they're like I need to be up at like 6 30 and like doing something yeah and that's so true I like I do feel bad about myself because he is so like good at being like regimented um but he doesn't judge me for it and that makes it easier for me to like not judge myself and at some point too I feel like a little pathetic complaining about it because I'm the only thing standing in my own way yeah but it's so much easier just to blame something else it's true and i i regularly think about that tweet that's like uh someone's like no one talks

about how hard it is for the adhd community to pick out a halloween costume and someone retweeted and said god you guys can't do anything and i think about that all the time whenever i'm like oh my god like i turn into side duck panicking like so fucking funny i waited till the last minute to file my taxes oh fuck that's coming up isn't it i already paid my taxes i've debated if i want to or not i should be getting some money back on my taxes uh well and just to clarify that statement i've been debating if i should pay my taxes or not because i think that taxation without representation is theft and i'm also not the only one so but i'll probably end up paying them you probably should because i feel like they're just going to put a lot of people in jail well i don't

think they have the resources if you are smart about it and you're taking the money that you would eventually have to pay in back taxes anyways and putting it in a high yield savings account you'll like earn more money on it it'll be more useful to you now and then you can be like well sorry i forgot here's the money please don't garnish my wages you know i i'm all for you could go to prison you know i'm not a lawyer but i think if only 10 percent 10 to 20 percent of the population needs to not pay taxes for the government to do something which is actually kind of a lot but 10 percent of people i think that's a small enough number that people will be like oh fuck yeah maybe but it's also like tax evasion is like a serious crime elizabeth

rich people do it all the fucking time i know but they do everything all the time and they get away with it well and how do you think they became rich not paying taxes you're blowing my mind right now you're so you're so right american capitalism i wait we haven't even talked about what you're worshiping oh yeah um i need to take a sip of this beautiful smoothie have you tried it yet yes do you like it good it's very simple i don't think it's that tart really maybe i've just been like exclusively having chocolate strawberry and banana smoothies so that's probably why this is gonna be more sour yeah i can understand the berry tart yeah what am i worshiping this week um it's kind of an abstract idea that i texted you about a little bit um

so i watched this video that i won't stop talking about about um it was recommended to me on youtube i'm gonna pull it up so i can give props to the creator but it's about how he has this theory about how um the 2030s is going to be like the next renaissance era and he explains kind of the comparisons between now and the past and i think he also has an important point i think he made this point it was either that or a video i watched in the same day because i can't stop consuming information um when people say and like when when the media and news sources say like we're living in unprecedented times it makes you think that this has never happened before but it has it has happened before in history like we're not the first generation of people to be experiencing

something like similar to the past uh but the video is called the creator is called medieval mindset and in part of it he talks about how there's like a philosophy that there are three stages of enlightenment and the first one is like a vegetative state and the more i thought about it the more i felt like we are collectively in a vegetative state which sounds maybe a little like what are you talking about i'm i'm woke um but like even if you're woke and even with the absurd amount of access to information and technology that we have like everything has made it so you aren't thinking you're not like you you can't just sit in silence in your own thoughts for like five minutes without feeling uncomfortable

you know yeah it's and even if you're like if you have i sent amelia this kind of like insane exchange i saw on threads where someone came up with like a uh a woo-woo theory that stephen miller is using dark magic and like how uh i i just see like insane conspiracy theories that are like they're they're trying to brainwash us and i'm like it is not as it is not that uh well thought out it's not that complex like i'm glad to see everyone's having a totally normal time online um but it's just like even those kind of absurd ideas and theories like they didn't just you didn't just come up with these ideas like you read them somewhere probably yeah or you saw other people talking about it and now you're taking part of that conversation and it's just like we're at

the point where no one is no one's really having any new ideas we're kind of regurgitating them and like building on that and that's when you see these kind of like stupid fucking think pieces on like threads and twitter and stuff right where you're like what are you even saying right now yeah um so all of this to say like i have been wanting to not be in a vegetative state and anytime i think like i want to do accomplish xyz even if it's a small task i like am able to follow through on it because I I've been telling myself I don't want to be a loser yeah I don't I'm sick of being a loser you guys I'm sick of not working out I'm sick of like scrolling on my phone I'm sick of being upset every time I look at it like have you noticed how everything is getting worse

yes well I mean I mean worse in quality yeah yeah like obviously yeah everything's getting worse yeah yeah but I mean also like worse in quality like like think about how every social media platform that has become like super profitable or is like now controlled by a billionaire like how much it sucks when they do that like they take something from being like enjoyable because it because of the community aspect it provides and turning it into a slop machine yeah like you never you're always chasing the high of like oh it was so fun when we would like you know post on twitter about the bachelor watching it live with other people that was so fun yeah that was like the peak days of the internet in my opinion yeah it's just like

having a community online all talking about like the same kind of like funny pop culture moment and now it's all like i have a hot take about xyz i don't care i want to read something fun yeah there's already so much bad shit happening i need a break yeah no i feel you i actually don't i don't want to cut you off but like my before you before you're recording you are done okay before you're recording i was saying because it's my week to edit so it's my week to figure out where this episode is going which is typically off the rails when i when i edit but um i was thinking a lot about what happened this week this last weekend with the killing of alex preddy the murder of Alex Preddy and I started to look into like why because I was realizing like my

personal online brand is like to like distract people from what's going on and it's just not felt like that's been possible or like appropriate this past couple of weeks so I just like haven't really been posting and when I do like if I share something like like a just a re-upload of something just to like check a box i'm like it just feels icky yeah i'm just like who gives a fuck about any of this right now you know there's so much shit going on like everything is so like structurally horrifying right now that it's like i don't know it's like are we allowed to like laugh at things are like we allowed to smile at things and it it is kind of like a means of survival yeah being able to like i don't know like find some softness in the world or even to just be able to compartmentalize

a little bit like i i of course like want to know what's going on in the country i live in you know like i want to know what's going on politically but i also want to be able to like put that away for a little bit give myself some time to like calm down yeah because what am i gonna do right now besides like the things you can always do you know yeah it but it's it is really such a paralyzing feeling to be like yeah what do I do I want to like be punching ice in the face yeah that's what I really want yeah and then maybe I'd get shot but like we've been created like we've we've we've been brought up now in this world and I know that like you said this isn't like unique to our generation but like I think that what is unique to our generation is having to see it all

the time yes and everybody having is horrible cameras in their hands and in some ways i like hate it but in some ways i'm like that it's good thank god able to happen yes thank god people recording what happened from every fucking angle thank god because the narrative that the right has been creating around what happened is so obviously debunkable because we have high high definition high quality camera angles from multiple people that were there that aren't trying to like hide what happened you know what I mean but it's this weird world where I saw somebody posted something that was like um like oh my god I just watched this person die on my news feed have I paid taxes yet yeah oh my god they just used this five-year-old as bait to get the rest

of his family out of the house oh my god I have a meeting tomorrow morning it was like just like back and forth of shit that's like I saw that your responsibility like how am I supposed to balance comprehending these horrors with the mundane tasks of my life yeah yeah it's it feels impossible yeah but I also like I've been thinking about obviously I think everyone has been thinking about what's been going on with is and in minneapolis and dhs and everything and like it cannot be understated like how fucking brave the people of minnesota are yeah and i took a screenshot of um something i really liked that lol hasan piker shared it to no one's surprise ultimate fangirls but it was it was just very well worded and i don't know where he shared

it from or if he like wrote this um he he posted the secret fear of the morally depraved is that virtue is actually common and that they're the ones who are alone in minnesota all of the ideological cornerstones of maga have been proved false at once minnesotans not the armed thugs of ice and the border patrol are brave minnesotans have shown that their community is socially cohesive because of its diversity and not in spite of it minnesotans have found and loved one another in a world autonomized by social media where empty men have tried to fill their lonely soul with lies about their own inherent superiority minnesotans have preserved everything worthwhile about western civilization while armed brutes try to tear it down by force

i think like the thing that i was like oh shit the secret fear of the morally depraved is that virtue is actually common and it is virtue is common it's way more common than the morally depraved yeah that's why you see ice just like fucking shooting innocent people and the innocent people in the crowds are not shooting back yeah because these are people who like value their community whether or not like they agree on everything and have you been to minnesota it's it's the reason like midwest nice is a phrase yeah and i think it's been hard on like different members of my family because they live in Minnesota to kind of like have this have a hard time accepting like or having a hard time understanding that what is happening in their

own home city where they grew up yeah like it's something that's unimaginable yeah I mean Minnesota has been hit with so many tragedies George Floyd was in Minnesota like there's just it's it's just one thing after another there and the people there keep on showing up yeah i love minnesota i really like everyone i've met from you know what every time i go to minnesota people think i'm 18 i'm like tell me more i love that yeah my god what the fuck um that's not the only reason i love minnesota right i mean you know it does help everyone's very kind i was thinking a lot about though like originally what i wanted to talk about this came up like two weeks ago for me and then i revisited it today when i was trying to figure out what to talk about um was the idea

of like how doom scrolling can be so addictive and how it's vegetative state yes which ties back to what you're consuming this week consume consume no thought there are is a lot of scientific evidence that backs why doom scrolling is as addictive as it is um and i'll read you some of them uh real quick pause this goes perfectly into what i have for you oh cute look at us we should start a podcast should we you think yeah i think we should do that okay why not okay so humans evolved to prioritize threats because noticing danger helped us survive which makes sense negative headlines literally attract more attention and clicks than positive ones each additional negative word in a headline increases click-through rates by about 2.3 percent

yeah rage bait yeah and they it's they know like there are people that are trying to get the click-through rates up so they're just going to keep sensationalizing headlines in a negative way to get more clicks they used to call that yellow journalism oh stanford researchers found that emotional negative content spreads faster and dominates social media feeds psychologists say sensational negative news can feel addictive because our brains are wired to seek information about threats isn't this like the entire plot of chicago the musical yeah i guess like in what way like it's it's all about like the sensationalized news of these women murdering their husbands yeah and that's why they came up with they both reached for the gun they both reached for the gun

i fucking love oh yes i loved i need to re-watch chicago chicago is a great musical what was the so fun he had it coming yeah the jail bird yeah jail jail something tango oh cell block tango cell block tango he had it coming okay um so obviously there's an emotional impact of all of this and studies consistently show that doom scrolling is linked to worse mental health associated with higher anxiety depression psychological distress and sleep disruption which i thought was particularly interesting because i consume so much true crime less now than before this is true i feel like every time i come over here there's like a paused youtube video of like some investigative horrifying shit yes and i've never really understood why i'm so drawn

to those things because i actively hate violence like like there was frank was watching the the ufc fights the other night and i was like oh my god we just talked about how much i fucking hate this shit on the podcast but he hadn't listened to that episode yet but um i couldn't look at the screen i was just like i don't want to watch these people just like beat each other to a pulp but i want to watch true crime because there's something that feels like preventative about it in a way like I think that has been proven that's like one of the reasons it's so popular especially with women feels a little bit like you are somehow prepared yeah you're more prepared with more information yeah but I feel like I don't know I'm kind of a dumbass I can't even

like there are things happening in public like right in front of my face that I don't realize yeah but I mean I think maybe it's because I'm always avoiding eye contact but I also think that that's just like a survival tactic that we have we're just like there's so much horrible shit going on that like we just kind of have to yeah i mean i guess the other alternative is to always be like yeah i don't know right we do i need to find a happy end probably but well you know that's part of the experience i have enough to be like what's happening over there is that person safe yeah and not like am i safe is something gonna happen to me yeah that's interesting you're more like I am so much more worried about other people that's really interesting that's very

like what's like it feel that feels like an like an anti-survival like instinct maybe in some circumstances like if I'm alone at night obviously I'm gonna be like yeah I'm not gonna help this random person on the sidewalk yeah I have my little alarm and my pepper spray in my keychain like but in general if there's like yelling or something I'm like yeah that's true on the bus yeah yeah just more about that yep I don't know because I think maybe it's because I trust that I can like handle myself and if I can't then that sucks yeah but I mean like it is like a very um what's the like like all of these human things like come from like our like ancestral roots and like caring about other people like in your tribe unquote not like tribe in like the like

mormon housewife like bedroom sign way but like literal like early early tribes they would like taking care of each other or taking care of other people was like some roles in the tribe and then other people's roles were like more selfish yeah self-centered not in like a negative way but like you know I mean looking out for themselves I think that not having like a family oriented community is also very like white American you know yeah like there's a lot of individualism oh yeah and absolutely I don't know you can see that among generations but you don't really see that as often in like um like people of color their households like people of different cultures you know their their whole culture is centered around how much time they spend with

their family like yeah yeah it's a very like southern thing too to like invite like a stranger over that you like meet at the grocery store and that's just like if somebody invited me over to their house in Seattle that I don't know I'd be like are you gonna fucking murder me like I'm hanging out with someone new tomorrow who um a friend of a friend who I've met a couple of times with just that other friend around oh my god fun yeah that's so fun I know I'm a little nervous oh my god I'm like oh my gosh I haven't just like hung out with a new person to like you know become new friends yeah good for you it's so hard to do that as an adult it's exciting um I was like you got this you could be totally normal you can be normal like hanging out with this grown woman

yeah be that you also are yeah right I too I could do this I too am a grown woman yeah no I know what you mean though it's very like nerve-wracking just like making new friends well especially because we've all become so vegetative we've all become so comfortable like not being connected to other people because we couldn't be for like a few years with COVID yeah and then just I don't know everything kind of went to shit yeah it did so very quickly otherwise I don't think I would have thought twice pre-covid liz never would have thought twice about like oh yeah i'm gonna hang out this person i met yeah and now i'm like what are we gonna talk about that's so true i'm so i have no doubt i'm gonna have no trouble talking to this person right but the anticipatory like

conversation you have with yourself before you like hang out with someone new still there are some people that like i get dinner with every so often that i'm still like before i get dinner with them because it's like having a one-on-one conversation with people is not my strong suit after COVID I used to love talking one-on-one oh me too and then COVID happened and now I'm like I need at least three people there I would talk to strangers kind of often yeah now that I think about it and you've changed everyone well okay so tying it back to what I was saying before about how I feel like you know like consuming positivity during all of this feels like complicit in a way it's like I'm not being a good enough like ally in all of this if I'm checking out every so often

but then I was thinking about like the fact that like with all of this true crime that I watch like sometimes I'll read something or watch something that is so like shocking to me that I can't get rid of it and so I'll look on r slash eye bleach have you ever seen that yeah it's the fucking best and it's just like a bunch of happy shit and it really just like cleans out your brain in a way it's just like dogs being cute you know um so there is evidence for positive or constructive news optimism itself is linked to resilience and better mental health outcomes it's associated with better coping lower stress and improved well-being brain scans show optimists process the future differently helping them stay resilient which i really liked because i am an

eternal optimist and it is like i've started to try to practice the like law of attraction more recently um just like if i if i believe if i like put into the universe that something good is going to happen and if i like say it enough then like it'll find a way to happen and it's just interesting that there are like they've done brain scans on optimists and that it like aids in resiliency i mean like i guess it makes sense but also it feels like optimists are sometimes like like oh you're just like your head's in the clouds yeah i well i think there's like a happy medium because sometimes like magical thinking like that like the law of attraction can be unhelpful like you can't manifest your way out of like systemic poverty you know absolutely but there is something to

be said about like being optimistic about something changes the way you might view or approach a new situation yeah and I think that's where like if you're thinking of something in a different and creative way by challenging yourself to be optimistic then um you might be able to solve a problem that you've been having over and over again you know yeah and like different different strokes for different folks you know I think that's why it ends up being helpful or successful like when you practice gratitude when you have an open mind when you are feeling some kind of hope you're able to come up with more creative solutions to problems yeah and therefore like you know of course being grateful is going to make you feel better about your life yeah right

you are going to feel hopeful totally and like you said like we're desperate for hope there are obviously circumstances where this is not like good advice you know like you can't yeah you can't hope your way out of like bad situations yeah and i only said that because i was reading like um the mlm book i always talk about like they do talk about how like magical thinking has been like weaponized against the working class 100 including like religiously like yeah or religions yeah just like pray pray your debt away yeah give your money to god yeah that's the pan around my mom and i were talking about that because my papa was a catholic deacon and was like hardcore catholic and gave so much money to the church like whatever number you're thinking of listener

no it's probably not as much it was it was just like half of his pension oh no half of his pension he would give to the church where's that money going to build more churches that's why my mom was like I was so upset when I saw that because like it would never cross his mind to be like oh I should what if I give this money to like my grandkids who are who are paying for college or like help them buy their books or like you know helping helping your generational wealth your family um or even just like your community but instead giving it to a religious organization who has like spent so much time and money covering up like child abuse and trafficking and like my mom was like I don't think he could like he can't believe that because he would believe like

oh the church believes what I believe and that he would do the right thing with money but they're not obviously yeah and I think that's like what so many different organizations end up doing that's literally what cults do that's what cults do that's what MLMs do that's I think it's just kind of like an inescapable like structure and humanity of like people are going to be attracted to um roles of power like positions of power and however they interpret that is like maybe they want to be a ceo maybe they want to be a politician maybe they want to be a priest because these are all positions where people are like really taking heed of the things that you say and some people are aware that this is like maybe it's a calling maybe you care about your community

or you just want the power over other people yeah you want control right what's that shakespeare quote some are born great some have greatness thrust upon them hell yeah something or not to be yeah that is the question that's the only shakespeare quote that i know um she's a man is 12th night yeah you love to see it um well okay this is similar is that the rest that's the right that's that's it okay so speaking of addiction um i saw a tweet that was like mormon porn addiction couples are something or something like something interesting or something like that so i'm gonna read a series of pictures with like captions on top of them okay so this is a i i think they're mormon this is just based off of someone's tweet okay so i didn't do a

lot of research on whether or not they're mormon but i do think that this is pretty rampant among the mormon community okay so this first one says i share a lot about my husband's porn addiction and healing from betrayal trauma i share the ugly parts the real stuff the healing that hurts before it helps addiction is not aesthetic real pause real real quick pause why people use i see this on pinterest too like people use the word aesthetic to mean like um it's not it doesn't look cute it's not pretty like an aesthetic they use the word aesthetic interchangeably with like a good like a good vibe essentially okay like they'll be like oh my god that's aesthetic but that's not how you use that word an aesthetic is like you need to describe what the aesthetic is you can't just say

like that's aesthetic right because that is so hyper specific to you and like your personal preferences like i think a mid-century mod aesthetic is like a better description of something yeah anyways and recovery is not linear you can pretend nothing is wrong you can push it down and keep moving but that is not healing that is avoidance real growth starts when you stop running and face the ugly head on and this next one it's like selfie mirror selfie in an urban outfitters it looks like um healing isn't oh to the partners of porn addicts healing isn't linear some days you'll feel at peace others the hurt will resurface that doesn't mean you've lost progress it means you're still healing it means you're uh if you're loving someone who struggles

with porn addiction remember their choices were never about your value it's an unhealthy way they learn to cope not a reflection of you you're allowed to keep growing even while it's messy don't lose yourself in the recovery your healing matters too i have one more for you another selfie she has eye patches on and she's in the car and it says just you wait and see once I heal from my depression and anxiety and OCD and overthinking and healing from anxious attachment while navigating my husband's porn addiction and my own recovery I will be unstoppable and what I'm just gonna say this woman's white right and this just feels very like privileged white woman struggle of like of making your husband's porn addiction about you and like the suffering you've experienced

not that I like I get it but like to be consistent to make this your whole brand online right is a little wild um I will say I came into reading that a bit judgmentally a bit like what I just said of like it's it's crazy to me that you're like making your online persona about talking about your husband's porn addiction right and like how does he feel about this yeah I was gonna say like there's like a picture of him on the first slide too so it's like there's people can put a face to the porn addiction well and so but I like we have talked about porn addiction a little bit on this podcast yeah and like i agree like that it's it's an addiction like every other addiction right um and i also think like um i don't know if like shaming people for a porn addiction is

necessarily like the way to go no i don't think it's gonna help them right not have a porn addiction be quieter about it and the more i thought about it i think that this is an issue that younger and younger people are dealing with in their relationships so I can understand like the value of vulnerability to know like you're not the only one but so I took a few screenshots of other people's takes um which is very vegetative of me but I thought like I was like okay here are some other perspectives that I want to think about um the person who posted it said this is a humiliation ritual and she's exposing him online to spite him maybe but she's also defending him a lot and is really trying to convince herself and everyone else that her marriage is worth

sticking it out she doesn't yet know that you can't change a man who doesn't think it's worth the effort to change she will continue to pour endless psychological labor into this man until she's ready to break free ladies let it be known that you cannot save a man from his vices you cannot drag a man through years of therapy your years of fighting and struggle for him to one day wake up fixed and like yeah i agree with that like how many i was that woman i was that woman who was like i could just change up yeah yeah everybody goes through that um when his mistakes are a recurring theme in the relationship he doesn't look at you and aspire to be better um he looks at you and is reminded of his flaws of all the ways he's letting you down but because there are

no consequences for his actions because you stick around and tolerate his behavior he never changes and then someone else commented because there is an article about this couple oh shit yeah and i took a screenshot from the article it's one of those like you know kind of like lad bible type things like not real article yeah yeah bored panda yeah someone who like was like let's talk to i'm gonna watch all these people's video and write a little thing about it yep um so someone shared just kind of a recap she's 27 he's 32 they married in 2019 he was exposed to porn at it at age eight and got hooked oh my god yeah he says he watched three to four hours of porn per day to cope with negative emotions and people were like three to four hours

that is what porn addiction is like and it is very common yeah it's super common that's really sad that that it was like an escapism thing i mean i know that porn addiction like addictions are often i was gonna say that's how like all addictions are going to operate like you are trying to not feel the way you're feeling so you drink a lot or you smoke a lot of weed like hello yeah that's me yeah yeah um oh boy i get to go home and smoke weed yeah i need to escape my job um my job which is perfectly fine uh she found porn saved on his phone question mark and decided to watch it for herself to hurt him back and see how addictive it is which is kind of crazy um so i took a screenshot it's from the sun.co.uk oh hell yeah they've

written something up on me before oh hell yeah okay so legitimate news source no it's not it's the word i'm pretty sure it's run it's owned by rupert murdoch that continue i mean that's pretty cool yeah basically a murdoch now so here's a little snippet from this article in the sun kyle revealed that he became exposed to porn from a young age and got hooked using it as a crutch for any negative emotion or feeling at his worst kyle would watch between three to four hours of adult content a day despite meeting his wife madison kyle still struggled to control his obsession and it would impact the couple's sex life when madison discovered porn on his phone she was angry and even admits to binging on porn herself to hurt him back but it showed her how

addictive it can be and helped her support her husband to help him recover attending recovery programs and therapy well and you yeah we have talked about this a little bit more we we like gave the advice to a listener where i was like that man has porn addiction and honestly i was like i could be wrong i was like but you could be cooking yeah and i was cooking yeah and you were i can't tell you how vindicated vindicated i felt when she wrote back and she was like he didn't have a porn addiction thank god but like once i learned more about it like the way that it affects your brain the less judgmental i was of it and i think that's important but i mean yeah again too like you need to like your partner needs to understand why they have this addiction to porn

like and can like be willing to confront that and change his habits totally and if not to be honest i would like leave that man but personally yeah i think it's more about just how it affects your brain and like less of the content in it yeah and remember i read that like very long gooner article and broke it down uh once i saw three to four hours i was like this man is goon and oh for sure maybe he doesn't realize it yet maybe he's not part of the gooner community i just can't imagine doing anything other than things that i'm obligated to do for three to four hours a day no like that's that's unfathomable yeah really yeah i don't know it's like just that whole the the screenshots of like the picture carousel that she did of like talking about it

it's just it just feels so strange to just like make it all about like I think that's weird but she does have videos where her she her boyfriend is talking okay so he's like he's involved okay well that's good so it's not like she's just hot can you imagine just hopping online and being like my boyfriend's addicted to porn yeah right my husband has a porn addiction that's really cool that he's also a part of the conversation yeah yeah well and I think yeah that's where it makes the biggest difference because obviously like porn addiction is mostly affecting men um i i have you watched i love la i think you should absolutely watch it yeah i've heard that a few times it it's so fucking funny but there is this character that's based off of benson boone

and they keep making jokes about like like when you make music about like your relationship and how your girlfriend's handling your porn addiction or like this guy and then like he says it to one of the characters who's like um okay and just kind of ignores that but then like he says it a few more times i will say the first yeah the first two episodes are like kind of slow but the it gets crazier and more fun okay yeah i love that highly recommend um we've like almost hit time now but i really want to talk about heated rivalry yeah we are so behind on talking about heated rivalry so obviously saw a shit ton of people talking about it yeah and i was like oh it's based off of a sexy book well what it was what's it called i guess it's kind of a fan fiction yeah but this

isn't fantasy uh smut yeah it's just like smut yeah a romance smut it's just a romance novel literotica uh what did they call it not chick flicks but like dick flicks no well i guess this was a dick flick i meant the books like they call there was like a oh kind of misogynistic name for how they would refer to like oh yeah novels you know yeah the ones that had like fabio on the cover oh yeah yeah good old days anyway yeah romance has been around forever um but yeah this started out as a book yeah and it was fan fiction but i don't think it originally i don't know if they're the author made up two characters or used originally two real hockey players um in her fan yeah i don't actually know either i don't know about the back end i don't know about the

back end of uh but they know all about the back end hey butt sex but uh yeah everyone's talking about it so i'm like you know i i'm in the mood to yearn okay i want to yearn absolutely i'm bored yeah so i was like i'm in the mood to yearn i'm gonna watch heated rivalry first two episodes so much porn i was like oh i was my i was like oh people love it because it's porn what my job was on the floor the first two episodes i was just like mouth agape watching the first two episodes i was like people are watching this like and like talking about it with like their family members and shit you know like yeah i was like i guess i understand the hype but this seems a little bit like like it's just porn right and then it really and oh god you guys ramped up it starts with porn

and then you are so emotionally invested in all of these characters that you would you would not believe it's so by the end of episode five I was on my feet clapping and crying oh my god I was a fucking mess I like Mr. Liz was watching he watched a few episodes kind of passively with me he saw the first two and then he watched episode five with me and I had to give him some backstory of course obviously and then at the end I'm like not gonna reveal any spoilers you guys have to watch it if you haven't it's just so it's so good it's so i i just love it's such a good story and then yeah so at the end i'm like i knew it was coming i didn't stop me from crying anyways right mr liz is like in the hallway like watching from a little bit further back and he's

like cutie did you see that and i was like yes yes and then he's like are you crying and i was like yeah and then he like kind of laughed and sat down next to me and just like gave me a hug it was so good it really did live up to the hype it did it did and episode six too yeah episode six was great they're starting to film again in the summer yeah i'm glad that they got renewed thank god um the guy that played ilia apparently he so this character is russian if you don't know he was so convincing with his russian that he was fooling like russians on the set they like thought that he was actually russian because like his his accent in russian was so good and his english his american like him speaking english with a russian accent was so convincing holy shit

he dedicated not he he didn't speak russian before that nope learned it for the role and he's like 23 god damn i know so he's like a little baby and he he did all that i don't have the discipline to do fucking he locked in he really did lock in he is not in a vegetative state he was like i'm gonna fucking learn how to speak in the most convincing russian you've ever heard yeah with a russian accent yeah jaw and you're gonna eat you're gonna eat it up and I did this was this was news to me this is my first it's the first time I'm hearing of it well I'm not actually Russian so I can deliver this to you yeah no he it's so funny because I watched an interview with them and he just had an American accent and I was like no come on what what what did you you lied to me

for six episodes I thought that but then I was well like I knew he was American you just thought that he had previously known russian yeah it's really good maybe his parents spoke russian or something i know he amazing he locked in wow what a what an opportunity for duolingo god no kidding my marketing brain rot i downloaded uh rosetta stone today speaking of which oh what a throwback yeah because suck on that duolingo there's no persian on duolingo racist super fucked up but but Rosetta Stone learn to speak your language Rosetta Stone isn't that a Drake lyric yeah I think it is yeah what song is that oh my god we didn't even talk about Kanye West yo what do you what do you think real quick um

I think taking an ad out in the Wall Street Journal to write what he wrote was an interesting move i think he's full of interesting moves he really is i want to believe that he's doing better yeah and i'll leave it at that i have i was thinking about it more and i was like i have no doubt in my mind that his pr team was like there has never been a better time yeah americans fucking hate ice yeah a lot of talk on the nazis so there's never been a better time and a more opportune moment for you to apologize for all the nazi shit he tried to do it with like a video with a rabbi not too long ago did you see that no you like i don't really pay attention to what he's doing you know it's i reluctantly like i didn't want to read the apology because i was

just like well it's just like another fucking thing you know what i mean like he's just gonna go back to raging on friday yeah and he lost 500 million dollars when adidas ended the yeezy thing yeah he was selling shirts with swastikas on them for a sec then shopify took his shop down that wasn't too long ago either so i mean like you know the function of mental illness especially what he's been going through which i think might be more than just bipolar disorder honestly like it doesn't like his his manic episodes feel too long to be like like what's been clinically defined as bipolar disorder previously i'm not gonna pretend like i know he has brain damage so it does feel and he he brought that up in the article too i just like don't i think that like

he's also like maybe just like a narcissist it's not that i don't believe that mental health has something to do with it but i think the thing that's especially funny about just kind of the statement is that like even though people are like i believe him i don't whatever he has he's just doing this because he has an album dropping like undoubtedly there's always like liberals in the comments arguing with each other over like mental health oh yeah like you you guys are getting distracted yeah from the main point yep you're like mental illness doesn't make you do that and some people are like you don't even know how bad a manic episode can be and it's like both of you are probably right right now yeah i just need y'all to lock in on what's important here

remember when the adl so the adl they were like this is long overdue but it can't take back his actions i'm like get fucked adl because remember at the beginning of 2025 when you defended elon musk doing the nazi salute twice yeah jesus yeah jesus fucking christ jesus tap dancing christ yeah have you ever said that phrase before no i don't like i don't know if that's a thing people say outside of the samson family jesus tap dancing christ have you heard that before maybe other people i gotta look i just that's not the kind of family i come from amalia they're not they're they're a little more rough around the edges oh it was popularized by the blues brothers that makes sense why that would come up in my family as often as it does

that's so funny grief jesus h christ i have he didn't have a middle name um anyway shall we yeah i'm tired me too but we we really did we really did it we out here we are doing it i enjoyed i enjoyed this yap sesh me too we're interviewing someone next week yeah i need to do some homework on that all right would you like to sing us out sure i've been hijacking it the last few weeks yeah we love you our children that was so dynamic so beautiful i wanted to start low and go high yeah no i like it picasso that was so that was beautiful thank you i'm trying to remove myself from being in a vegetative state by doing new things including new melodies low singing low to high right maybe maybe next week i'll do high to low

guess you're gonna have to tune in to find out Thank you.