The Hoely Hour - It's My Podcast and I Need It NOW!

Episode Date: June 5, 2026

RIP Dick Cheney, you would have hated this podcast. Amelia and Liz share a podcast update, and read and answer some Very Good Questions from an article on the Substack, "Uncynical." Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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May slow when network is busy. See terms. speaking of which i really want to re-watch vice now that i remember that dick cheney's dead i forgot that he was dead until sunday oh yeah yeah he recently died ish right like in like a few years ago i thought he died within the last year i don't know he's been dead to me for years hello hey we're back we forgot to tell you guys that we're moving to uh every other week surprise should we explain why yeah i really just want i needed to get that off early on so it wasn't like a hovering yeah yeah like a cloud over me we have full-time jobs

we don't make nearly enough money doing this podcast to uh justify how much time we spend doing it yes even though we love you guys so much we would love to be doing this more full-time you know yeah that would be fucking dope that's just not been the reality for the last six years and because of that we don't have a whole lot of time to plan out our episodes and figure out what we want to talk about because our days are so fucking packed and then we have to edit the episodes we're focusing on quality over quantity because that's a better way to put it we're well aware that sometimes we put out a dud episode yeah and we don't like that and that also is that kind of comes with the territory of every podcast yeah there's gonna be a couple episodes

where you're like this was not interesting to me um so we're we're trying to reassess and reevaluate um how we can have better quality listening experience for you guys and maybe we'll go back to every week yeah but right now i think that we need to also like not gonna lie it's about to be summer in seattle and i'm trying to be outside yeah that too i'm not trying to be inside recording a podcast well we could record it outside yeah we could we could sit in the park and just wait talking to me just wait for people to stop by and sit down and talk to us but podcast outside yeah podcast outside we'll have to get a guest mic the holy outside the holy house the outside hour the outside hour that could be a fun idea yeah yeah we're focusing

thing on quality over quantity and as Amelia said we have full-time jobs and uh the ROI just isn't um working for us I really want to be transparent about how much money we make doing this yeah I think cut this out I think they're well yeah I can yeah if you want to I do think it's interesting information because I would love to hear other podcasters like like talk about what they're making or how it all works so for us we have a network but um I don't know how other podcast networks work I assume they're probably similar um ours is more of like an advertisement network so they kind of manage like connecting advertisers with podcasts they have no involvement in the actual podcast themselves for the most part at least ours yeah with ours they don't they're like

the ip is fully yours because um at the end of the day like the advertisers that they're gathering not all of them are going to be sports related so they need podcasts that are more general or lifestyle or humor because they don't have a lot of that yeah um so that's where our podcast comes in for them um we can be the podcast that gets kind of like those more lifestyle ads yeah um so that's how ours works and we only we make a little bit off of the ad dollars and our last paycheck was 25 bucks yeah for the month so I also think it I mean it's maybe it's important to know it's 25 bucks each so you know 50 bucks but that's also like not a ton of that's not it's not paying the bills you know I mean we also spend four hours a month recording and then we each spend

two hours a month editing basically so that's you know Amelia does a shit ton of video editing too and like yeah it's it's a lot of work especially like i don't know short form video is also not a very profitable i don't think people realize that either like you might see creators like pumping out a lot of content but that doesn't mean they're making a lot of money off of it like even youtubers don't make a bunch of they don't make great money off of ad sense no yeah no all their money comes from like morgan and morgan yeah yeah like so if you hear a podcast they have a sponsored ad so they're like this episode is sponsored by this brand um that's a lot more money and if they have a lot of listeners um they charge the brand more to like say their

ad yeah so like if we were reading the ad ourselves that is a lot more money versus like you know we we put in an ad slot and you hear an ad and we've only had one live ad read ever yeah so i guess two we had um one of them didn't pay us nope but that was only going to be 50 bucks yeah so like whatever we got free shirts out of it um and a free uh ball deodorant yeah ball trimmer oh yeah i gave that to a guy i was dating at the time i just found all of my shit from them mr liz uses the well and i don't want to say anything bad about them because they did give us free shit yeah no it was great and like their products are great yeah but they didn't but mr liz uses the buzzer and when uh we didn't live together he would keep it at my place so he could

trim his beard before work fuck yeah yeah the the underwear that they sent us is still some of my favorites i do i do still wear it i wear it to bed so comfortable yeah anyway so all this to say transparency we're not going anywhere things are just going to be a little different for a sec we're also and this is something me and liz need to talk about off the podcast because we this is just going to take a lot more planning brand rebrand we need to rebrand we've been talking about it for two fucking years well you know we don't have time we started out talking about sex and dating and wow that is very fun and interesting there's only so much you can talk about and i i think that we're moving on to a different phase in our lives yeah and it would

be nice to have our um creative output reflect that yeah and i think it'll be felt by the listeners too totally and in a positive way I mean I think if you've been listening for a while you've noticed that we've also just like every time we talk about sex it just we're both kind of like oh we're talking about sex again even though it's like it feels a little like oh yeah oh my god we're so we're so risky but uh I mean that's what the podcast started as so you know things have changed over time and uh thanks for sticking around again we're not going anywhere this is not a breakup conversation no mean lives are not getting a divorce it's a it's a rebrand conversation yeah and so if you have any like suggestions or ideas about what you want us

to talk about i mean it's not going to totally change like the conversations we've been having like girlhood you know it's like that's the kind of shit like and not just girlhood we're not only going to be talking about girl but like those kinds of things that are like kind of still like self-development related but then also like pop culture stuff and yeah um like things that are just like going on in the news and we're just like this podcast has always just been us yappin and it will continue as such yeah we still want it to feel like you're just hanging out with the girls yeah chitting and chatting chitting and chatting and you know i will say like i do still love hearing people's like dating stories and relationship stories i'm locked in anytime like

mr liz was talking about one of his friends and i was like asking questions about their dating life because it's kind of a mystery and um I was like to me it's crazy because he was like oh yeah they don't really talk about it at all and to me it's crazy that someone would not want to talk about their dating life yeah and he has a few friends like that I'm like this is the most interesting shit ever tell me right so I could give you my unsolicited opinion yes well our is it feels like to me that boys in general just yeah they just don't want to know no they don't want to know don't want to talk to each other about it whereas girls are like let's let's discuss the second you sit down at the table let's dissect this show me the text messages show me the messages yes

what did your therapist say i'm locked in how did how is your past trauma informing how you're acting in this moment exactly why aren't we asking those questions to each other men i think that well they get so uncomfortable i don't know i understand like being vulnerable can be uncomfortable but once you are like i don't know once you're vulnerable the more fun the conversation becomes and the more the better you know someone and the closer you feel to them and people are just waiting for an opportunity to open up yes hello yeah which also brings us back to why we started this podcast in the first place hey and oh well i was gonna say something else about vulnerability i think it's also a matter of feeling safe being vulnerable like i don't know

with women for the most part i do not feel judged and even women i don't really like i'm like you know what we just don't like each other yeah but at the end of the day you have your journey i have my journey yeah we just don't vibe yeah and i still don't like you it's really strange to think about like the people that we were friends with when we were younger that we're still friends with now would we choose them to be our friends now or are we just friends with them because we've been friends with them for so long like college friends yeah you know what i mean yeah and that's kind of a diversion from what we're talking about but i was thinking about this before like specifically with like female friendships it does feel like as over time you're changing

you know and but like you still have this friendship with this person and you still love them so much and they're still genuine you're genuinely your friend but it's like what i would I choose to be friends with this person in my adulthood if I am just meeting them now do you ever think about that I haven't actually and maybe it's because like you have a lot of friends from different periods of your life like young early childhood to high school to college to adulthood whereas I think mine are a little bit more like exclusively adulthood and they're more like scattered like I have my Seattle friends and then I have my college girlfriends and I don't really I have like one friend from high school yeah and that's true yeah I think

that's it and then I have like one childhood friend and we were I mean I bet if I met her now as an adult like my childhood friend like I would definitely be friends with her yeah like you know we were just friends because our parents were friends which is different yeah yeah and would i mean like even with that would you have chosen her to be your friend if your parents weren't friends no see not as a kid it's right it's so interesting to think about i don't know because circumstances really do inform i also i don't know when i was a kid i like i don't i i have nothing else to compare this to because like and you tell me what your experience was like as a young girl like I didn't feel like I had a super I was super close friends with anyone

does that make sense like I wanted that kind of like close like vulnerable friendship and like where you feel like excited to hang out with them you know what I mean like uh I the type of friendship I have as an adult is what I really wanted as a kid yeah and I just like didn't have that connection with anyone yeah that's yeah that's special to have now yeah but did I mean did you feel like you had that intense kind of friendship as a kid yeah with a few different people I had a lot of like my next door neighbor was one of my best friends so I was like always wanting to like I was always so excited to hang out with her she recently unfollowed me on Instagram whoa it's the third time she's done that I'll just like refollow her every like

couple of years and she'll follow me again and then she'll unfollow me I'm like that's very strange girl what happened um but yeah I had like her I had my best friend to this day Katie is was one of those I had a friend growing up that was like met like super toxic the one that called me a whore for being a cheerleader when I was in fifth grade um I was always so excited to hang out with her like for years after we stopped being friends whenever anything good would happen I would think to tell her first which is really weird your mean friend yeah it was very strange i'm like and i told her that kind of recently like i was like well wait so how are things now with her as adults yeah did she ever acknowledge that she was a mean friend no but she went to

boarding school and came back like a totally different person is she mean now no no and she's like she used to be really mean to her parents and like her parents are like her best friends now like i don't know what they did at wordings i don't know if they like lobotomized i mean her parents might have been like get the fuck out of here you're a bad kid that's what that's why she went to boarding school because she was you're so bad your parents are like get out she was really mean like she was just she's just not she's just mean um but she's not anymore we just like still follow each other on instagram we'll like respond to each other's stories sometimes yeah she's she's great now but yeah as a kid it was not not so much not so much that's so interesting but this

is actually a good segue into our topic for the day yeah um if you want to also before i forget happy love island week to those who celebrate i need to get into that you absolutely do and it starts tonight so it's a good time to get into it i came across this sub stack article by an author who just goes by dylan with a y and their sub stack is called uncynical which i actually really love because i need more i need less cynicism in my life what's the opposite of cynicism optimism optimism yeah i would say so if you're uncynical you're optimistic yeah i don't want to poo-poo dylan's name but there is there is a word for that i'm just kidding it's cool it's still a cool name optimism i bet there's already a blog called that uncynical is like yeah it's fine i

like it i was just being a bitch actually you're being a cynical bitch yeah troll um i'm consciously trying to be less of a hater lately uh and it's because the sun's out the sun encourages me I also feel like I'm in such a different place than I was a year ago that's so nice I feel like the ketamine therapy did slowly work hell yeah you know yeah it's one of those things that well when I was reading about it it's like it it's very quiet about how it works but you're also on like the right brain pills now yeah yeah I started those shortly after and adjusting to a different type of wellbutrin was life-changing oh and rough it was life-changing and it was real rough the only way out is through that's what they say that's so true yeah this article is just

called questions to ask your friends and the questions are just really great like conversation starters that are fun to get into with the homies things you can talk about at dinner so yummy i thought that was a really fun idea and i thought we could go back and forth answering these questions i haven't read them liz asked if she wanted me to send them to her she wanted to send them to me i was like that didn't come out right i was like she's got it yeah yeah no i'll get there eventually um but i always make liz go in blind to the things that i bring so i felt like it was fair for me to go in blind yeah well these these and these are so subjective too i feel like they'll be fun to answer on the fly i love it okay so the first one i really love what's a mystery

in your life you want the answer to it has to be a mystery that is solvable so it can't be like how would my life have been different if i took a gap year it has to be something that someone somewhere knows the answer to like why did blank stop talking to me oh and i'm very curious to hear your answer see my the first thing that came to my mind and i don't know if this is my answer but but my gut reaction would be I I want to know if my ex knows about my breakup series on TikTok he absolutely does are you kidding me I really don't know if he does because we one of my our mutual friends saw him recently and they talked about me and he did not bring it up but he brought up the podcast so I think that and how it's a man-hating podcast when when did when was this

a year ago this is right after Polly got hurt oh okay a man-hating bug okay his mom listened and said that of course she did yeah his mom's just like really i'm not gonna say i'm not gonna say it that's not the point of this i definitely think that he does know you think so yes i also want to know and i think he would lie about not knowing maybe i want i also have never met him so it's hard for me to say maybe i don't i mean i don't know i think you might you might be right but i also want to know in that same vein what he thinks about it um i think that if he doesn't know about it his wife absolutely yeah she probably does i mean i blocked her sister on tiktok because she was the only one who i knew had an account and i was like this feels safe

not expecting it to become what it did yeah so who knows but i mean like that's something that popped into my head but it's not necessarily something that i'm like if i had one mystery i wanted to solve would it be that that was just the first thing i thought of what would yours be well the first thing i thought of too ironically was also about my ex because i was like i wonder what he told his partner after he cheated on her oh with me right but i suppose well and i guess it kind of depends on like what is cheating to other people like i would consider sexting someone cheating yes and if i were to catch my partner sending like nudes and sexual messages to his ex or anyone for that matter yeah or anyone but i think someone you have a report with is especially

like yeah i i don't think i would ever be able to move past that no and they got fucking married so i'm wondering what he told her that's insane yeah and he proposed like right afterward too yeah i think he was gonna lose his deposit on the ring for me at least he had the good sense to change the design can you imagine if he hadn't oh my god if he hadn't i would have felt bad for yeah hello i don't know they seem happy but i'm like i i also i i don't know i think he lies about a lot of things in his life um and he cares a lot what people think of him so i think that lying about this was probably not very difficult for him yeah that was a good question that's a good first one uh so this next question if you could have one full-time staff member what would

they do so like a driver a chef an ea a masseuse you only get one and they are on call 24 7 oh my god i had a very hard time thinking about this i'm gonna let you go first because i went first okay well i mean i would love to have a personal chef that would save me so much time and help with my tummy issues i hate cooking with tummy issues yeah i had to do an elimination diet for two weeks and it was hell you guys yeah i feel so bad for people with uh food allergies sorry uh technically yes but are you i'm done i'm done hardcore uh elimination dieting because it's just too it's too fucking hard it's so hard and then you have to like reintroduce things one by one don't you yeah and i'm that's so much work it is it's a lot of work so i'm just gonna keep my constipation

which sucks you know what i understand why people are like i'm not trying that do food allergy tests work i have no idea actually i know there is like a straight up blood test to test if you are allergic to gluten yeah i got that done um i have a bunch of blood tests that i still need to get done okay uh well because my doctor ordered them but like the way that it works is i have to go into the lab core yeah and show them like here's what she wants me to do yeah and i haven't done that yet if you just make an appointment online and you bring in your paper that's all they need yeah yeah i've done it so many times look at you i know this is why it's important to have friends and talk about your health problems because sometimes they have the answer

yeah oh i'll tell you all about lab core when we're not recording any questions you have okay so many i have so much experience i met another amelia in the waiting room oh another amelia s and she was knitting it was weird i was like this is like a weird did what did she look like you no nothing no nothing like oh okay and she was a mom but she was like around my age but um i invited her to our knitting circle i still have her number i haven't texted her yeah but anyway um a chef would be great chef was a great answer i also think having like a personal stylist would rock god to like i don't need a personal style i don't need a personal stylist 24 7 yeah you know that's true chef on call i eat every day god you know that's true you do eat every day

that's a good that's a good having someone take care of that thing and sometimes it's such a burden to cook and to grocery shop if i had a chef on call 24 7 do you know how many dinner parties i would have i i would have guests over all the time 100 you would and my house would be sparkling clean because i'd have so much time because i wouldn't be cooking grocery shopping damn based you know what i think my answer might be personal chef also but just because i also think i would be like 9 000 pounds if i had a personal chef 24 7 because i constantly want a snack like they would they would know what to make for you i know but like i would be no but i would be hungry if there was somebody that i could call all the time to just like make me a

little something that's kind of make you healthy food healthy snacks but i don't want that i want like like oreo cheesecake and stuff you know what i mean so i feel like that would be like a dangerous thing for me to have access to maybe like an organizer slash cleaner 24 that would be a good one yeah i did think about housekeeper yeah yeah if i could have like a personal organizer all the time that shit would rock that would save me an insane on monday we were doing the whole like how is your weekend at work and i said that i cleaned on saturday and my team was like i feel like you're always cleaning i'm like i am always cleaning i have too much room in my house yeah i don't think people fully understand like you live in a ginormous space yeah and the rooms that we

don't even use get disgusting somehow so it's like well i mean the more space you have the more you have to clean yes constantly every corner i have been meaning to organize my desk area for like three months it's a disaster it's really not that bad it's well it's also this little thing oh yeah yeah that's a hot mess that it's just piling up there's also stuff next to it on the ground that adds up fast it does it does but your desk looks fine like on my on my organization i don't know it's a hot mess well it's also like when when you everything is organized and then like you put something somewhere it's not supposed to be once it's like then every time yeah what you totally forget where it is you either figure it out or that you just start like well i'm just

gonna put this here too because like that thing's already here and then it just stacks up it's like throwing your clothes on the ground it's like well the shirt's already on the ground so we've had guests in and out of our house for the last two weeks and it just makes me realize how much shit we still need to like get rid of and or organize yes i'm like god damn it and it's it's so time consuming organizing is type two fun for me like once i start doing it i'm in the zone and i enjoy it but it's so hard to get myself to do it i really love organizing other people's things oh organizing my own things you know what i should have you come over just to keep me company while i while i organize that because i like having someone with me crochet and chat yeah it's like

i love that i was telling my therapist how and maybe i've already said this on the podcast too but i regularly wish i could clone myself like you know how dr manhattan like has multiple versions of himself but it's like one shared consciousness who is this um in uh fuck watchmen oh do you remember watchmen no no well for those for those who know what watchman is um he's like uh he calls himself but it's like a hive mind kind of yeah basically well well he's he's like this he's basically like a god he like knows everything he's a doctor who like some crazy shit happens some x-men type shit happens to him oh and then he becomes this blue guy you've definitely seen watchmen the movie at least do you remember do you know rorschach

he has the mask that changes like the rorschach test yeah no i don't know you haven't seen watchmen i think you would really like it really yeah i'm not a superhero kind of gal it's well watchman is different it's kind of like um it's more like social commentary on like politics at the time interesting yeah speaking of which i really want to re-watch vice now that i remember that dick cheney's dead i forgot that he was dead until sunday oh yeah yeah he recently died ish right like in like a few years ago i thought he died within the last year i don't know he's been dead to me for years dick cheney's been dead to me for a long time we haven't talked in a while um what was i saying oh yeah i wish i i was like telling her like i

wish i had a clone of myself because sometimes i wish i had someone to like talk out an idea with and help me like execute the idea and the closest i can get is my mom my mom is the closest to thinking the way i think when it comes to organization and that's because i learned it from her that makes sense so having someone to like talk through an idea with is really helpful and then like but also someone who knows what i want you know what i mean yeah but maybe it would just be two bitches who are confused but i it's i'm like i why can't i it's the same concept as just like talking it out in my head with myself but yeah something about being able to talk about it out loud is helpful this is a total diversion but you talking about that made me remember that

i read this fact that if we had a clone of ourselves and it was just walking around we wouldn't recognize it right away not insane because we don't see ourselves how other people do that's so true and that bizarre yeah i mean yeah i like i guess even when i when i see people who are like you look like this celebrity or you you kind of look like you know yeah i whenever i see them i'm like that is not anyone i ever would have thought i looked like yeah like lizzie mcalpine yeah so many people tell you you do look a lot like a lot of people have told me that and when people point it out i'm like oh i can see that yeah but it's not something i would initially be like oh i think we look alike totally totally yeah no i know you probably think the same thing

yeah yeah maybe that's so interesting it really is huh anyhow next question next good these really spark convos right i tend to go off on tangents so that's why we're all here well and that's the point of this podcast that's true yapping with your friends the holy tangent oh the holy tangent i like that um if you could retire now and maintain your current lifestyle without work but no further would you so basically you're retired and you receive a paycheck that paycheck that is the exact same as you are currently making for the rest of your life there is no way for you to make more money than you currently make and you know what I'm going to include any any benefits you get to keep your benefits yeah or like what they add up to so I would I would include like

um the bonus that I get and um like transportation stipend and education stipend and lunch stipend like all of the perks that I get I would include that as part of the salary I don't get any fucking stipend what do you mean that's crazy I know my job gives me a lot of perks it's so nice well so my initial reaction to this was like oh fuck yeah I would do it but then like the idea of not being able to make more than I make now because like maybe in five years I would take that deal because I feel like I'll be making enough money in five years that would feel comfortable for the rest of my life are we still we're so we still have our benefits so we still get our 401k yes maybe in three years i feel i feel comfortable saying that what about you

yeah i would fucking do it i don't want to work anymore no i i do not long for labor no um i want to do whatever the fuck i want yeah and it's not working at any job no it doesn't even matter that i like my job i don't want to be working i want to be outside yes same or when it's cold i want to be inside see sleeping i know some people that like have like they their job gets them out of bed in the morning right could not be me i i've been having this like internal crisis with myself for like the last year and i think you and everyone around me has been watching me work through it yeah yeah of like of uh deciding that like i don't know if it's a decision as much as it is like a realization that like work doesn't matter but it matters so much for

some people yes like the driving force for a lot of people at work like to do to do well like maybe they have a competitive nature about them that they just like are like i need to excel at everything i'm doing including my job and the purpose of working hard to them is just like the the fulfillment they get from excelling at something you know but then there are people who are like really locked in on the drama at work and i'm like none of this shit matters yeah that just feels like such bored behavior yeah well and if you have kids i also think that's another motivating factor like I really need to do well at work I need to keep my job because I have to like pay for my life I have to pay for my kid I have to like take care of things

yeah you know what I mean totally so yeah I think I do think it's a privilege to be able to have like the identity crisis I'm having because no because I have a lot of free time to to have an identity crisis I just yeah I think too like it's so tough working in a world where like it's so clear why we're doing the job that we're doing and it's just to like make rich people richer yes it's really hard to feel good about spending eight hours like 40 hours of your week plus doing that i don't know also after reading that that book um little bosses everywhere it's hard to just not feel like every fucking company everywhere is like an mlm yeah like i just learned about um well and i learned about it on last week tonight uh jg wentworth oh my gosh now

i have a structured settlement and i need cash now they're so evil do you know what they do yes i watched i watched it yeah you watched it too okay well just a quick recap for the listeners um and this is what i did on my lunch break today um as i watched that it's a really good it's a good segment yeah and it's only like 30 minutes um but basically like a structured settlement you get from like an injury or something like that like a disability and um you get paid in segments so structured settlement so like you get paid a certain amount each year after you sue whoever so like the example that they use is like a lot of people um sued because they were exposed to lead paint and so now a lot of these people have like cognitive disabilities

and um since they're only paid like a certain amount each month or each year they're not paid a lump sum of what they won in the settlement and a place like jg wentworth they'll give you like a lump sum up front but it's only a percentage of what the settlement was worth and then they keep the rest so like you sell their you sell your structured settlement to them yeah for pennies on the dollar yeah and they're taking advantage of people that like don't have like the cognitive resources because of what they have been through yeah to understand what they're signing away and then they get fucked over yeah and then like which is predatory the sales tactics that they have to track these people down and bribe them out of their structured settlement is disgusting

it's incredibly predatory and then like you're like oh well they you know there should like a judge has to sign off on it but then like there's only so much a judge can do because if you have someone saying like yes I want this like yeah it's like okay it's your money yeah it's like where where's my role in this you know um and a couple of states have additional laws in place where they have to like um consult with someone else who explains it to them and is like if you do this you'll only get one third of your settlement yeah it's just really sad it's it's super disgusting there are competitors coming out now what's the one like one two three it has its own loan or whatever yeah well and it's just like i think the thing

that it's just like yes let's find a way to make people give us their money what yeah what yeah it's like how can we just take money from people especially like the most vulnerable type of person yeah i don't know you're going to hell absolutely yeah i don't know how they sleep at night you use your law degree for that shit yeah go blow yourself um okay anyways okay moving on what is something that you love that you wouldn't recommend to others whoa that's a really good question too how did somebody come up with these this is like a solid hell yeah dylan um unoptimist uncynical uncynical uncynical um something that i love that i would not recommend to others fuck that's a really hard question do you know your answer the first thing i thought

i was holding a grudge that's really good i love to hold a little grudge yeah but it's not good for you no and it's just kind of like a waste of emotional space yeah that's a really good answer i was gonna say couch rotting uh i wouldn't recommend it i really wouldn't because it doesn't feel good at the end of the day no but i fucking love it in the moment oh it's like crack yeah it feels good to just plop down and zone out and become a zombie and then afterwards you feel terrible speaking of crack did you finish euphoria no okay i won't say anything we we just watched the penultimate last night very good and then mr liz was like when is the finale out and i was like it's already out

you have to watch it and he was like well but we had to go to bed so that's fair we'll probably watch it tonight so fucking good okay anyway we'll we'll hold off on that then okay um yeah that's my answer couch rotting i think that's a good one thank you um there's still a few more there's more questions i feel like this one's not as interesting but let me know if you want to answer it what's a lesson you need to keep relearning i have a structured settlement and i need cash now call jg i wish it wasn't so catchy 877 cash now i have an annuity but i need cash now i used to watch so much jerry springer and that was on every commercial break um i don't know do you know what what lesson i need to keep learning i think to lighten the fuck up

okay uh just a lesson i need to keep relearning is it's not that serious oh you know what okay that that inspired me i think my lesson would be to just let go and let god i'm not even religious but i do need to let go and let go and let god the majority of my time in therapy is talking about how i feel the need to just puppet master everything in my life oh and everyone in my life like i need everyone to be happy around me i need to make sure that there are no like awkward moments or uncomfortable moments and like if there is that then like i feel like it's something i did wrong and i just need to let go and let god and by god i mean anyone but me i guess the universe yeah the greater the greater good circling back to euphoria

uh since i haven't seen the finale one thing i realized is like i think that rue keeps trying to change she wants to change but she's only trying to change her situation she's not trying to change herself and that's why it's not working out for her yeah that's good insight and i feel like lately my biggest struggle is i've been trying to change the situation as a way to change myself but i need to work on myself damn and not the situation i am in that's a good lesson for everyone yeah you know what sometimes they go hand in hand sometimes you need to change your situation to like grow sometimes that is a really big thing like sometimes you might be staying at a terrible job because it's safe yeah and I'm not saying like just quit your job but like

if you can get a new one like if you're not applying for other jobs or like looking for a different opportunity and you're miserable start yeah yeah I it's not a good time to quit your job with no plan so i don't want to encourage that it really is such a shitty fucking time like in the market yeah but it is that is interesting insight on rue it does feel like for addicts in particular like they're always told you know like you can't you like you can't spend time in the place that you were using you have to like take yourself out of the situation but like that's not the only step that's so interesting you know what i mean because it's like yeah people that are addicts they have to like go to rehab elsewhere and like when they

come back they like can't move back into the house that they were using it in like with all their friends that are using because they're just gonna like fall back into it but like you know that is a huge step but you also have to better yourself what's a piece of advice you give to others but struggle to abide by so much i know i'm like um literally every advice i've ever given yeah what the hell yeah i'm trying to think um what's some advice that letting go and letting god yeah seriously like i don't know i i was thinking about that too well because i was thinking about like like i'm sure well you and i have obviously been through this we watch our friends go through this but like staying in a relationship

you know is not right for you and isn't working yeah it's there's just like something in your brain that's like how miserable can i get before i quit yeah yeah i and i don't know why there's like this like push to make something work even though it's terrible yes no that's so real i mean that's like so much of everything it is definitely something that needs to be learned the hard way yes of like you cannot change a person you can't wish your way into something that's never existed like you can't change your partner into the perfect person yeah yeah but i also think there's a piece of it that's like you just hope that things are going to just fix itself it's so hard to identify in yourself in that moment where you're kind of like

trying to survive in this relationship and it's such a distraction to like fully sit and reflect in the uncomfortability of like what does staying in a relationship that's bad for me tell me and I think at the end of the day at least for me and like some of my other friends that I can recognize in them it was it's just this like feeling of like I want to feel worthy of someone changing for me yeah and why like why yeah that's not fair to either of us yeah but also it's like i i don't feel like i'm good enough and therefore i want someone to like show me that i am yeah to change for me and be and what makes them so important too you know that was something that i kept saying to myself that's a good reminder what makes what makes them so important yeah that's i mean my

therapist used to say that to me all the time when i was like going through my big breakup like i was like no but like every girl needs one big breakup totally and like so much of my self-worth was like relying on like how he was feeling about me and my therapist kept being like what makes him so important like yeah me i've decided he is but that's not enough there's not he's he didn't earn that yeah you know yeah i don't know anyway it's a good one um what's a small moment from your life that seemed insignificant at the time but you think back on a lot i mean i think about frank all the time because so much of what happened with how i met frank was like very like there were so many things that i could have done differently that wouldn't have i

would have never have met him um like i got covid and that was why the date had to get postponed which is why somebody had to rotate frank in instead of the person i was originally supposed to go on the date with it was such a perfect storm like if it had gone any differently it might not have like happened yeah that's so crazy and I think about that a lot and I tell that to Frank and he's like I don't like to think about that because it just freaks me out it's like if there's just one thing different happened then like we wouldn't know each other that was an especially interesting situation yeah you know like it wasn't as straightforward as like me and Mr. Liz where we matched directly right and then we didn't really talk much we're like let's meet

up yeah well i mean like but then i think about you and you and mr liz a lot where it's like he left you on red and you were like no i'm going after this fucking guy yeah and then i was annoyed no one leaves me on red yeah i guess one thing that is kind of like i mean it's not anywhere close to like your situation with frank but um if i hadn't like started you know what actually i think this is this might be mine if i hadn't like started talking to that guy on twitter which is so embarrassing i feel so like cringe when i think about it i'm like that was a crazy time it really was i was very chaotic but it was also during covid wasn't it i know yeah everyone was a little crazy everyone's horny and stuck inside um but he is that guy was like

two two and a half years younger than me if I hadn't like started talking to him I wouldn't have even considered to lower my age range on hinge and if I hadn't done that then I definitely wouldn't have met Mr. Liz right I mean that is that's true that's like there are so many things that have to line up for these big things to happen in our lives I think a lot about there was I went to a wedding in New Jersey that I almost didn't go to because I just was like starting a new job at the time and at that wedding I met somebody that knew that her best friend worked at the company that you and I met at oh and if I hadn't had had that conversation I would have never have known that that company existed oh my god I met you I wouldn't have started this

podcast with you I wouldn't have started would you have started your tiktok account like talking about heartbreak I mean I wouldn't I think that working at that agency kind of like like illuminated a lot about my relationship that i was in so i probably i mean i might still be with him so i would have never started my tiktok you know what i mean we could just go down a rabbit hole yeah it's kind of like a sliding doors red string theory yeah yeah yeah it's like oh this hadn't happened then this wouldn't have happened yes i think about an alternate version of me that is still living in las vegas and married to my ex we would definitely be divorced by now yeah for sure and hopefully i would not have had any kids with him but but i had a really good prenup yeah

i'm like would we have had a prenup i definitely at that age i would have been like i'm not signing a prenup what the fuck yeah yeah whereas now i'm like if we don't have a prenup then the government will take care of it and that's worse no fuck that we're getting they're making terrible decisions right now there are also so many companies that are making getting a prenup so easy now because it's such a complicated process there's like apps you make a prenup on an app yeah easy peasy love that shit and even if it's better to make a prenup while you're in love and happy together then try and figure it out when there's maybe you potentially hate each other so real so real dividing your beanie babies up in court in front of the judge um what's a common piece of advice

that you disagree with wow common piece of advice that i disagree with um if you love someone let them go i fucking hate that yeah i hate that piece of advice because it's like when is that when is that like it's like if the person that you love like isn't right for you and like you aren't good for them like you gotta and you really love them you have to let them go and it's like i just think like i guess on some level i understand it in a very specific like situation like i think the only instance where that might make sense is like if you guys really love each other and then one of them gets a job one of you guys gets a job somewhere else like in another country or in another state or city yeah let them go figure

that let them go try it yeah and then hopefully one or both of you realizes like you want to be together and you'll move to them yeah i don't know yeah yeah yeah because i do think maybe that's a little bit more applicable for men yeah because i'm thinking of a very specific example it's like a friend of a friend um he had like this really cool girlfriend and she got uh either a job or like went got accepted into a school in another country and i don't think they broke up but she like went over there and then he was like i miss her so much after a few months that he moved over there and like got a job or something wow yeah that's nice yeah i like that and uh like talking to the friends that knew him they were like yeah he realized like pretty soon after she

left that like she was the one it's hard to not be like that's so sweet you know yeah yeah i mean like that's what i like i do get it on some certain levels but i do feel like people give that advice in like really toxic scenarios yeah it's just like shut the fuck up yeah it's not good advice if you love them let them go what does that mean what do you mean what do you mean what what about you what's what was your answer to this um what i was thinking is like when people say like oh you need to work on yourself and like heal yourself before you start dating again where like i understand like at some point yeah you do need to self-reflect after a relationship ends badly or even if it just ends mutually just kind of reflect on why it ended um on yourself like don't

make it about the other person so much kind of really think about like what was i trying to get out of this relationship what trauma was i trying to heal through this person yeah things like that but i don't think that you can change how you are in relationships if you're not in one yeah and i'm not saying like oh date someone date whoever so you can fix your your trauma but like once you're ready to start dating don't be like oh i'm not fully healed yet i can't date you yeah like if you like someone like I don't know totally feel that yeah absolutely and and when you're in a situation that is triggering notice it and be like okay how can how would I have reacted before and now as a person who's trying to change what's what's something different I can do

yeah how can I handle this better to get the result I want yes I completely agree yeah no that's so true that's something I learned yeah but yeah I mean like like you're saying like a lot a lot of the work that needs to be done for in a lot of instances need to be done in the relationship like there's so much of the shit that I healed I couldn't heal until I was in a relationship yeah so because like I think a lot of shit you don't know that you don't it you don't know that it needs healing until you yeah until you're triggered yeah you don't know what's gonna be like a trigger for you right and so it's like I think some people get like a little scared when something happens and they feel triggered by it and it's like oh i don't clearly i'm not ready

for a relationship it's like what hold on i also think people like conflate the word trigger with like to mean something else so i'm thinking of like jonah hill yeah you know i could totally see him being like well you wearing a bikini is triggering for me yeah it's like no no no that's not what a trigger is no a trigger is like oh i feel jealous right now yeah let me explore that feeling yeah totally and you can't like make it someone else's responsibility to manage your triggers it's your responsibility to manage your own feelings and triggers yes and to be aware of them and be like okay this is this is a trigger for me so how can i like what can i do because i'm responsible for me what can i do right now for myself what am i in control of yeah not how

can i control another person right period period and that's on that and that's on jonah hill and that's on healing yourself that's on healing yourself i remember when we say that all the time yeah this one is going to be easy to answer also we're almost at the end and we have been recording for almost an hour fuck okay um what's something that's far-fetched now that you think will be common sense slash knowledge in 25 years what well what's your answers uh that trump did voter fraud and is laundering money and is a pedophile and is being blackmailed by adversarial governments to do their bidding yeah all right among many other things fuck yeah that we probably don't know but i think those are the obvious ones do you think you did voter fraud yes i think you

did a version i have i have this tin hat theory that tinfoil hat and maybe tin hat i don't know maybe both that i i so my whole thing is that you know how he did this whole thing with biden winning where he was like you cheated it was voter fraud it was like a rigged election yeah this is like a popular theory like continue that i'm pretty sure i'm thinking the same thing as you that like he did all of that and was crazy about it and got called crazy a bunch so that he could say the same thing that or so that he could cheat and us be like that's clearly voter fraud and then i don't think he's that smart i think he's not smart i think people around him might be i don't know about that i think that he tried to cheat but he wasn't prepared for

covid and so many mail-in ballots being a thing so i think like cheating didn't work for him because well and that's why he freaks the fuck out about mail-in ballots yeah he's like that's voter fraud no it's not yeah and then um i don't know if you've seen ashley st claire talking about she's she is one of elon's baby mamas talking about how he like alluded to like uh doing voter fraud no oh you haven't no she does like a get ready with me and talks about it so fucking funny what a funny format to drop that knowledge i mean i think immediately people assumed that like Elon was involved in voter fraud right um it's also one of those things where I'm like you know until it's proven I'm like it's not my problem to figure out yeah like

I don't not believe it though yeah you know I I feel like there's going to be and this this actually ties in with my answer i think that because i've tried i've asked ai questions about trump in the past like theories that i have and it will not entertain me on them and so it feels like the government is in the pockets of these ai companies they're all in well yeah these ai companies don't want him interfering in any sort of regulation yeah right not even just him but like the entire administration yeah so that's why they're sucking his dick right but it feels like too like that they also if there's no regulation is per se but like none of them i can't ask them any questions about trump you know what i mean

yeah like it's that's fishy the fascism of it is so fucking shocking yeah i hope in 25 years we're gonna be like that was insane yeah that was an insane period to live through yeah people are gonna bring it up and we're gonna be like oh my god yeah thank god we recorded these podcast episodes because i'm like going to black out all of this seriously it's the only way to go like oh yeah that's why i was smoking so much weed yeah are you smoking weed again no good for you i want to so badly which is why i'm not good that's good that's like really good willpower i'm proud of you thanks just a little break and then you can go back and do it again right um i want to get to a point where i don't know where i it's just very easy for me to be like oh i'll just have a little

bit right now and then it's a slippery slope to then where i'm like smoking weed every day yeah and i don't want to do that no that's fair i wanted to be a fun activity for the weekend every once in a while you know yeah not a daily habit for sure and i was getting to a point where i was like not enjoying it but still habitually doing it yeah and i saw someone there's like a subreddit called leaves um like leaving oh smart well because our trees is for weed yeah our leaves is for quitting smoking and one post that i saved to remind myself of was like my sober self like wants to smoke weed and my high self is begging my sober self to quit like well and i was getting into that cycle where i would get high and i wouldn't feel good and i'd be like

fuck why did i get high i need to quit i don't feel good about this and then the next day would come around i'd be like what if i just smoke a little weed yeah yeah yeah damn that's so that's nice i mean there's reddit forums for everything but that's so that's so nice that that exists it's a very good uh subreddit for your support i would say and you don't like i didn't even post anything but reading other people's like feelings and experiences is just nice because you're like oh it's not just me yeah and then i'm like how did i get to this point right anyways uh what are what's what thing are we doing today will be most laughed at in 10 years i said ai obviously i was gonna get right no i think but i think in maybe the the like opposite

of that will be like people trying to push against ai is going to be laughed about in 10 years really yeah unfortunately i mean it's it's going so like all of this lobbying around trying to not get these data data centers built and it's just like for nothing it feels you know like i think that there's just too much of a push to build all these these data centers without like fully i think a lot of the ai stuff is i don't i don't think ai is fully going away i think some version of it is going to stay i think they're probably going to rename it to something else um i hope you're right i mean artificial intelligence is definitely like a marketing ploy so i think they're gonna rename it to like predictive something i don't know and um yeah predict

prediction models who's to say and i think that a lot of the um like expensive shit that isn't useful is gonna go away and some version of it is gonna stick around but this rush to build all these data centers when it's like hold up we need to qa more of this stuff and not all of it is useful it's it's so it's just it's fucking up so much everywhere like it's yeah did you see the water like that was coming out of people's taps around the data centers no it was like brown ew like dark brown i did know that it was making people's bills higher yeah that it was it's making their bills there's also like a town that is like completely people just left yeah right i mean there's like it's getting rid of like a lot of like natural pollination areas yeah it's terrible

for the environment terrible for the environment it's using up an insane amount of water which we knew but it's so much worse now it's like it's just all bad it's all so scary i think that uh uh what was i gonna say about ai who cares you know yeah oh speaking of natural pollinators i have i went down like a bit of a spiral i was gonna say rabbit hole but it was it was darker than that um and bought like a bunch of like natural uh like native pacific northwest plant seeds and and uh a bee house and like these like little posts that have little like water dishes in them and i'm making my own little pollination station at home cute for bees because i love bees so much that because fuck everyone else that's fucking up the environment yeah and i also fuck

up the environment so i want to do my part um so there's still a lot of other questions that i don't think we're gonna get through today maybe we could answer more of them next time we record i love it um because these are fun i love this this was thank you for finding this yeah we have been talking for so long it feels like it has zoomed by it has zoomed by it's been a it's been a lovely uh chit chat you as well liz ball thanks i just like sitting and talking to you me too it's been so dope i like that we have a scheduled time where we have to hang out and talk to each other about just whatever we're thinking about because as you get older you just like don't prioritize seeing your friends as much because you're so busy and intentionally yapping yeah like both of us are

pretty locked in every time we're recording right like at least talking to each other right and even yeah even if we've had like a day where you're like i yeah cannot my brain does not work yep it's still fun it's still fun and to be honest if this wasn't fun i wouldn't keep doing it same but every time we record i'm like oh yeah this is great so i mean that goes back to what we were saying in the beginning we're we're gonna be a little sparser scarcer but at least on a schedule you know it's not like oh the holy hour dropped for the first time in two months like that's dope yeah i'm gonna be like that fuck no every other week and because we need to go outside yeah yeah maybe just for the summer yeah no maybe longer than that maybe into the maybe i don't know we're

gonna see how this goes all right well would you like to sing us out yeah i'm trying to think of a i'll give you i have a structured settlement yeah yeah uh we love you our children and i need cash now we love you children thank you for listening oh i like that thank you so much thank you no it's so no no thank you for listening that's beautiful i feel good about it me too sick well bye bye Yeah, oh, oh, oh, yeah