The Hoely Hour - The Psychology of Love Island

Episode Date: June 19, 2026

Amelia put her Bachelor of Science and expert Googling skills to use to explain why everyone on Love Island is losing their minds. We're also talking via Riverside which is both a godsend and the work of the devil, so please bear with us on any audio hiccups :') Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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$15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. New customer offer for initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Be cool. Act normal. Be cool. Hey, I'm totally normal. I am too. This is how I always am. we're recording remote today i'm all the way in the great state of florida the armpit of america some may call it i don't know if anybody calls it that yeah the the the weenus i feel like that's giving it too much credit honestly the weenus of america the weenus of america i feel like it would need to be higher to be a weenus yeah well it's it is i was gonna say it is it's it's phallic shaped but I do think that that is too much of a compliment almost for Florida you know but I'm

here and Liz just got back from visiting her family so we we were two ships in the night so we're recording on Riverside we'll see how that goes when I'm editing do I look like I'm in sepia tone right now you do look a little sepia tone that's so weird it's like this room is not sepia toned at all I think it's the overhead lighting it must be I don't know I'm also on my work computer because i was having tech problems i'm tired y'all do we know if mercury's in retrograde something's going on cosmically our flight was like the first leg of our flight was delayed i always leave enough overlap time in case there's like not a huge delay but long story short we had to call the airline and like reroute our entire flight and it took so long and i went to bed at

like 2 a.m and i had to wake up at 7 a.m because i had to have an 8 a.m meeting of course and now i'm ready to um did you nap no i did not oh my god strong queen uh and i'm starting to crash yeah as you may or may not be able to tell i mean i'm thrilled to see your face i'm thrilled to see yours too i miss you we were truly were two ships in the night i did not sleep well and then i was going to sleep in this morning and my dogs or my dogs my dog's puppy my parents puppy every time i would like fade off into sleep he would start just bark really loud at me i feel like i feel like i need to get you on my sleep routine girl i need to get you i have the white on it with sleep white noise earplugs yeah that does those are great way did i mask i have been really improving my sleep

hygiene which i think is why like one or two bad nights of sleep are really hitting me as hard as they are because my body has had a taste of the good life and now it's really struggling all it takes is one night to fuck it up um so jumping in to our topic i'm excited to hear what the topic is so we can uh get on with our sleep tonight uh as quickly as possible are you up to speed on love island i am okay i'm i'm finally watching love island it's a huge deal which is the best news ever for me i'm gonna try to see if we can talk about this without giving any spoilers because well I mean I think it's also worth mentioning that I started like halfway through because my brother's fiance was watching it well I guess both of them were watching it and then I

was like oh is this Love Island I'll plop down and watch a few episodes and immediately I was locked in and then you missed like the first whole like the whole first week yeah yeah I started watching right the episode after the bombshells were dropped in oh like soul yeah soul jen and caleb okay okay wow so you're brand new that's interesting that makes sense because you like soul don't you i do i she seems really chill i really don't like her i didn't see her like initially talking to the islanders so i don't know i don't know i think she seems chill she's giving me pisces vibes there's i have not looked at her astrology chart it feels like she must remind me of somebody that i knew that i just didn't like because instantly she walked in and

i was like uh-uh no but also i think it's interesting when she was crying i was so sad for her oh when she felt like she was getting picked on yeah yeah yeah i mean like i'm surprised that more people don't cry like that yeah for real i was like i would be crying too because you're also in there getting like no sleep apparently they sleep oh my god we were talking about that i was like all of them are sleep deprived yep like we we only see them eating breakfast like yeah i don't know i also the um the love affair between bryce and zach might be like one of my favorite storylines they love each other so much i liked zach at first and now i'm a zach hater why because he's like literally any chance he gets he's bringing up like what if another bombshell

comes in like he's just clearly not that interested in kata and i'm like you're already batting out of your league dude yeah honestly like i was thinking about it because i agree but i feel like there's an aspect there where he knows that because they're like a very strong couple that they're going to throw a bombshell in that's specifically for zach and he's going to get turned into a i hope it's for kata i hope it's for kata and she's like i gotta i gotta explore my options because he's the one who's always bringing it up right no i completely agree and i want the tables to be turned and i want you know what i wish well i i can't give the spoilers away never mind i would so like i i completely agree with you like it does feel like he's just kind

of like hedging his bets a little bit but i really do think that he's worried that he's going to get a villain edit if they bring in a bombshell and that's why he's doing the whole like that's why he's gonna get a villain edit i'm already seeing the comments i'm already seeing the comments that are like leave that man yeah yeah also like the internet this is also not what i wanted to talk about today though i mean this is around the same topic it's still fun i'm like maybe we should start doing a re and a love island recap i love that idea every summer is just love violent recap yeah it's yes and as it should be i i was seeing online like people really hate kenzie which surprised me they do i don't maybe i didn't since i didn't see any of the earlier episodes

and honestly i'm not gonna go back and watch them now there's no point now there's too much i i am surprised how much they don't like her i mean i i i don't dislike her but i don't like her either but like the straight up like hatred for her is a little it's a little much wild well and especially they're like she's like playing two sides i'm like that's what you're supposed to do are you supposed to date multiple people isn't this a dating show a dating game show essentially yeah ariana keeps coming in and being like hey the point of the show is to explore because like everybody's already fucking locked down except kenzie i'm like yeah she's doing it how you're supposed to yeah well because i was i was trying to um tell my brother's fiance about

i was like have you ever seen bachelor in paradise because that's kind of like love island takes like the best parts of bachelor in paradise which is all of these all of these people show up they're all hot they go to the beach for a few weeks and they have to couple up and it trades back and forth like have you seen bachelor in paradise amelia yeah yeah i fucking loved bachelor in paradise me too yeah and it's prime and and i mean they they did a good job shaking things up and like everyone was genuinely like okay i'm gonna date around i'm gonna see what what i have going with each person and then some of them and uh i'm just gonna call her the fiance my brother i don't know i keep i feel weird saying my brother's fiance every single time i'm referring

to her she needs a nickname but I was gonna say that yeah she I was like explaining it to her and then she was like I think what makes for like the best seasons is like if half of them are like serious and coupled up and the other half are like down to clown and I totally agree because you want to see couples who are like I like seeing couples who are really locked in on each other and like some of them are good together and some of them you're like oh my god you guys suck and you're boring and you're insufferable and you're fighting all the time and you should break up yeah right Right. But I feel like so last season there was a couple really early on named Huda and Jeremiah. And that was like I mean, I remember hearing about Huda quintessential television mess that like it just made it so good because she was the worst and it made for good television.

So she like really like rubbed people the wrong way. But now that we don't really have a Huda like Melanie is probably the closest to Huda. I actually like Melanie. I do, too. I do not like sincere. no me neither i i straight up dislike sincere i think he's extremely manipulative i saw someone on threads refer to they're like sincere looks like one of those guys in new york city who like does the flips over you which is so specific and also like such a it's such an a perfect like insult like it's not too mean but it's so specific like i love insults like that like you look easy to draw oh my god yeah those kind of insults it's like that is so specific and ouch it's really the best well okay so that's actually a good segue into what i wanted to talk

about today which this kind of may become like a like a melanie apologist episode a little bit okay because i'm here for that i've been seeing like a lot of sentiment online about like people being like you've known him for like five days like relax you know or like how are you like already in love with this person you know so i started to look into what like psychological factors are at play when you're in a house that's like basically a fishbowl that all of america is watching and you're aware of it and you have none of your creature comforts like you are you can't bring in books you don't you can't talk to your family you can't like do your normal shit that you do when you're like obsessed with someone you just are with them a hundred percent of the time

yeah the entire like everything in your immediate life at that point is specifically about dating yeah right and I mean like that is basically like my all I don't know all of my early 20s yeah totally that see that's the thing it's like this is such we we got to do this and not have an audience about it you know and I was the I mean I mean I was thinking about it too like I have also been kind of crazy like that i mean all yeah all of us have but it is a little jarring to watch somebody like melanie like pop off and like want to sleep in like uh soul ties instead of with her match so she doesn't have to like sleep in the same room as sincere i'm so sorry that you have to sleep and share a bed with corbin yeah he's the most beautiful man i've ever seen he is so

didn't he say he's half jamaican half chinese he said he's and i am just repeating what he said i don't know if it's offensive if i say it he said he is jubilation jamaican black and asian okay okay yeah and i can't remember if he said yeah i think he got more specific but i can't remember everything since he said that i'm like oh i see it that's why you have such an interesting like his features are all so like artistic together yeah explain it he's so now I feel like I'm butchering I think I'm butchering what he said listen guys I've had like about three hours of sleep I'm pretty sure that that is what he said he did say jubilation I can't remember what which three he was saying but

yeah yeah anyway but we all started laughing we're like oh my gosh I think that there are some interesting things at play here from an audience perspective there's something called the fundamental attribution error where we tend to assume that people's behaviors are caused by who they are like she's clingy rather than the situation that they're in like she's in an emotionally intense isolated environment we underestimate how much our environments will shape that behavior and i mean like i think that when you have enough life experience you're like oh my god these people are being driven to be fucking crazy but there's a lot of the internet that are like in their early 20s so they're just like this bitch is fucking crazy oh my god yeah

and they're so like they're also so prude the people commenting in their 20s which like i don't know i i understand i i don't know like when you're in the circumstance that they're in how you don't know how you'll act like how are you gonna act like to your point when you have cameras shoved in your face and you're aware of that and you know that you're probably gonna get a certain edit right because that's what happens I mean I was thinking about the fact all of this for a hundred thousand dollars I feel like it needs to be more and like constant brand deals you know what I mean like you're kind of set up for life afterward if you like you go far enough so yeah and if they're smart with their money which also sucks yeah totally a lot of these

people who like come into money very quickly especially influencers they don't think like I need to start saving this I need to like when you have a traditional job you at least have some sort of exposure to like i need to contribute to my 401k i need to set up like an ira or whatever i need to diversify my you're not thinking about all that bullshit um and then they it it's it's sad to see i know it's like people winning the lottery yeah because they also have to upkeep this lifestyle because now like their lifestyle is part of their uh like career essentially right right anyway it's it is like i was thinking about when they get like america involved in america votes like who's gonna be with who america didn't want us to be together yeah or they'll be

like well america saw something that like they thought we'd be good together but america's voting for mess like they're they're doing these things because it would be the most interesting thing for the audience to watch and i think that there has to be a moment where that they realize that and it's like like that's kind of like a toxic thing to like oh my god i'm a puppet like early on in love island because love island's been on for a long time like in the uk yeah it started in the uk there were like a few suicides after yeah that's so sad because like you're being picked apart in real time and um what like one of the original hosts committed suicide as well like we're not supposed to get feedback on such a grand scale so it's also bizarre how like little

empathy people end up having right right like very harsh judgments about a something that should that's honestly not that serious it's really not it's so parasocial and weird yeah which i think is also like a good reason to talk about like the psychology at play also like i the the i mean this has been my biggest gripe with the internet um and social media the last few years is just kind of like the extreme black and white thinking and like as as a uh leftist i think the biggest pain in the ass is like other leftists who like end up really reaching and grasping at straws for some like extreme woke take and then you're like this is why we don't win conservatives hate you

yeah like they think we're all like that yes because you don't have any space for nuance and you're like making everything so extreme but yeah yeah 100 i'm sure i'm not explaining that well no you did a good you know exactly what i mean where it's like how did you get to that conclusion now it's like you don't want to you don't want to associate with some of these people because it's just like take a deep breath and think about yeah what you're i know you mean well but like why are you assuming like everything is ill-intentioned right most people do not do things that hurt your feelings or are like self-centered because they're trying to hurt you they're just thinking about their own business and so are you yeah yeah but people are just

always looking for an opportunity to be offended about something for real but I think we all need to go outside more agreed and that's why we're doing two weeks every two weeks now because we're going outside more yeah we're touching grass that's all we do really when we're on or off weeks god i love to touch grass me too i touch grass all week so moving along the isolation that they put these people through i mentioned this when i first like jumped off but it creates this tunnel vision like you don't have your phones you don't have work or family or your friends or like any of your normal hobbies and there's psychology behind this and i am 100 certain that the producers know very well that this is what they're doing with these people it's something called

um attentional narrowing or like more commonly referred to as tunnel vision when uh options and stimuli are reduced people focus more intensely on what's left so in isolated environments relationships become psychologically central because there are fewer competing demands on attention there's like a bunch of different research on this in like polar expeditions and like military deployments and shit which show that interpersonal relationships become like significantly more salient in those settings because there's so much less to be putting your energy toward I think that makes a lot of sense and I think you're right producers do know that I'm this is a I'm sure they've learned tactics from other popular reality shows well for sure

like The Bachelor I mean The Bachelor did this for a long time before shows like Love Island yeah yeah and like there have been there was a scripted show that was made about it was like they worked or it was written by somebody that worked on the bachelor um that was kind of like an extreme version of what it's like to work on these shows i remember i remember that it was controversial yeah well i like when i was talking to um my brother and his fiance i was like they should pay all of these people for their time like it surely for how much money they generate from airing this show they can give each of these contestants like a thousand bucks per episode and then maybe they'd be a little more intentional and then you know they were like well then it

wouldn't be fun but I actually think it would be fun I think it would be fun to see people like not be focused on making it to the end just for the money and like sure maybe they can have a grand prize at the end but I also like I like seeing people make genuine connections I think we all really do and sure like mess and drama can be entertaining but at the end of the day like it's nice to see people with like a real connection yeah it's interesting because like especially when they're hot the only couple that feels like real that's like come out of Love Island was from two seasons ago um oh my god Serena and Odell Beckham's brother I don't remember his name but they stayed together and then Alandria and Mick from last season weren't even really like

much of a couple on the show they were just kind of like they just kind of got paired together by default and then they were like i mean nick was always like super into alandria you know but like we didn't really get to see that relationship form and outside of that like you're right there it is just kind of like with the intention of making it to the end and like winning this money and being like having this like clout behind you at the end of it um but it's also like your clout depends on how long you make it i think social media has really added an aspect to this that maybe wasn't there initially where like they're not going to remember people that got voted off the first episode you know they're going to remember people that like made

it to almost the very end and was like the most had the most personality and that's what I think Kenzie was trying to do you didn't watch the first few episodes but like a lot of the shots of her were her making like crazy faces and it's like I think she was trying to meme herself and I'm like that you have to do that to like have any sort of longevity yeah to be memorable yeah maybe I will go back and just watch the first episode so I have some context well her doing the splits like every single day is so funny to me so funny so funny she actually talked about she talked about that in her like intro package that like she just every morning she does the splits does she do other stretching yeah okay I mean I guess it makes sense splits just opens up like your hips and your

pelvis and it's just you're just releasing all of this feminine energy she's just she's an interesting cat well because yeah coming in like most of the way through and now watching her like i i haven't seen these earlier episodes where she was maybe kind of crazy yeah and so to me she seems just kind of like she's figuring out who she likes i guess she's young she's like 23 she just graduated from yeah nursing school well the whole eye thing did you hear that where she was like they were talking about their vision she was like I have 2030 vision which is really good and then everyone online is like no that's incorrect because she was talking to Caleb I keep getting Caleb and Corbin their names are so similar they have the same tattoo

they don't look alike they have the same tattoo yeah they both have a compass tattoo on the same shoulder that's so fucking funny it's fucking hilarious and and you know what i was like laughing at that uh they were like kenzie's type is to have the same fuck ass tattoo in the same spot yeah that's and i was like haha that's funny but then i remembered that my brother's fiance and i both have tarot card tattoos in the same location that's really funny well i knew she had one i was like oh i'm i don't want to get it in the same spot she has it but i couldn't remember like which arm or where on her arm and it ended up just the same arm same yeah same spot oh they're two totally different cards but i was like oh when i got my um my stick and poke that our friend did

for us I was so proud of it and I was still seeing music man at the time and he was like he was like oh my god I've seen so many girls with this exact tattoo in this exact spot and he didn't mean it in like a mean way he was just like whoa isn't that cool like I know so many and I was like I'm not I'm I I don't mind being like other girls but I want to be individual with my very first tattoo what do you mean this is the first time anyone's ever done anything like this wait what was it the moon on my rib cage okay okay yeah actually I do know several girls in my sorority who have that yeah I mean now that I mean placement and that and also my butterfly like there are so many people that have that exact tattoo and I genuinely did not know that

when I got it and like the next day I saw like all of these celebrities have it like oh maybe that's where I subconsciously got the inspiration yeah maybe I love when I'm in Pilates and I see a girl with another girl with a snake tattoo in a similar or the same spot as mine hell yeah I'm like you have good taste yeah yeah look at mine um okay moving down my list of psychology that is involved so this is obvious but they're speed running a relationship um and there are two psychology terms that are associated with this the mere exposure effect which is the more frequently we're exposed to someone the more positively we tend to feel toward them which is from the 60s I do feel like since social media has become a thing this might not be the

truth anymore because I feel like the more that I see people the less I like them um but maybe it's something like I think it depends like I don't know these people are all attractive the goal is to make it off with someone yeah so I think having yeah all of those other things removed in the real world that would like you're saying the situation you're in it highly affects your behavior and your choices absolutely yeah i mean such a little fuck is he grant oh he can't hear me he wants attention and then he's i pick him up and then he's like no not like that that's typical man typical um the environment that they're in also accelerates the intimacy because they're they have constant conversation um they're sharing this like crazy experience so there's kind

of like a trauma associated about that like you when you leave this situation like you're not gonna have anyone else in your day-to-day life who's gonna be able to relate to that experience right the only people that know what it feels like are the people that have done it yeah so i wouldn't be surprised if a lot of them become lifelong friends because this is such a formative experience that's like a lot of people that have been on the bachelor and the bachelorette stay friends because of that it's like if you've been through the fucking ringer together um but also when you're like sharing like vulnerability with somebody and like sharing those emotional highs and lows the intimacy there's there's something called self-disclosure theory which intimacy

grows rapidly when people share personal information and vulnerabilities and you're being forced in these environments to do that probably by pretty i know at least on the bachelor there are producers in their ear that's like everybody else has like told them about their past traumas so like you should probably do that yeah because they know this shit well which is fucking insane i mean so far in this season and have they really had like that series of conversations because i feel like what i'm seeing they're like they just like talk about what a good connection they have but they don't we don't see them like really talking about anything intense yes like they're like we just we have a good connection and you're like what does that mean does that mean you're

just like making out like you just want to fuck like what yeah but i do think that it's like the whole thing with like waking up next to this person brushing your teeth with them like doing all this shit that like you don't normally do with someone until you've been dating them for like a sec that's true like you're just like oh i must be really into this person because we're doing all of these things together like it's just not like a very natural way to get to know someone But I actually remember learning about this study in my psychology undergrad, the suspension bridge study. It's called the misattribution of arousal. People often will attribute heightened physiological arousal to attraction, which is interesting. So it's like if you're in like a high intensity environment, you like your wires can get crossed and you'll think that you're more into the person that you're sharing that with than you are. I think that makes sense.

Yeah. Yeah. Your nervous system is like interpreting. Well, it's kind of like when you have like a camp crush. You know what I mean? Absolutely. You're like, OK, in the real world, I probably wouldn't have a crush on you at all. Yeah.

It's like, have you been on a cruise? Oh, I have. like yeah get into relationships on cruises because you're like stuck on a boat with like a very like a handful of people yeah you just well I went the first cruise I went on I was like 14 or 15 and they have like teenage groups you know so you're like hanging out with these teenagers the whole time and it is kind of a like a summer camp experience you know and I like you're saying like having close proximity to these other people that are your age you just kind of like are naturally like okay who am i gonna have a crush on right you know and you pick someone even if you're like

not even that into them i feel like this is what happened with um ariana grande and ethan unfortunately yeah proximity crush yeah and you know there's not a lot of straight men in musical theater no i know there was always like one guy in every theater program that every girl was obsessed with because like totally it was the only straight guy that was like kind of cute and it was he was a hot fucking big deal and i was thinking about the rest of the wicked cast and like nobody else is single or straight so it kind of felt like she was just with him for that and when the press tour ended she that they broke up so i think that that's evidence but anyway um Another piece of this is the uncertainty makes people obsessed.

There are bombshells. Casa Amor is going to be coming up. You haven't seen Casa Amor, Liz. It's the fucking best. They put all of the guys into a house with a whole bunch of new girls. And then the girls are in a different house. Oh, my brother was explaining this to me and Mr. Liz. And Mr. Liz was like, that's amazing.

There are like theaters that are selling tickets for watch parties for Casa Amor. Oh, my God. It is the best part of the show. It's the best part of the show besides movie night, which they didn't do last season. but movie night they get to watch they show that which that is so messy it's so messy it's like they show like they show what the the private conversations the contestants have had with other people yeah or like like like some fucked up shit that people have done that they're keeping to themselves you know like oh my god they're totally i can totally think of what they're gonna do

yep me too i mean can we spoil it at this point i guess they have a new episode every single day yeah yeah well when uh when caleb was talking to someone else and they're like oh kenzie's talking to corbin um and he's like if they kissed she would tell me and then they are they're making out and then she's like she tells corbin don't tell anyone right like you won't tell anyone and now they're you know i mean i'm just gonna spoil it now they're back together which kind surprised me because honestly like after melanie and corbin were paired up um i thought they were really funny together like when they were doing like the uh interviews after the challenge with each couple like corbin and uh melanie's commentary together was like so funny i was like oh i wish

they liked each other more i wouldn't be surprised if because corbin didn't seem that into kenzie until they weren't coupled up anymore i feel like that's what i was thinking it seemed like that with the two of them yeah and at first i did not like corbin i was like this guy is a fucking ding dong but the more i like he's easily become one of my favorite i think he's so funny yeah he's great and great he like anytime he says melanie he's like melanie anytime anytime i see him on screen i'm like melanie he's so fun the way he talks is so funny to me um casey is my favorite i fucking love him and i relate so heavily to him just like wanting to make light of dark situations because it's just like this already sucks so fucking much

like why don't we just try to make it fun i feel like he didn't really know what he was getting himself into i feel like he was like probably got approached on social media because he was hot he was like sure i guess i'll fucking i'll do love island and now he's here yeah my brother was like he's the most normal one yeah my number one favorite is trinity really her commentary is always like cracking me up yeah i think she has she's so fucking funny yeah she's great i really like her i need her to like take a deep breath though yeah she needs to chill out yeah but who among us you know so there is a piece of this like uncertainty that is also rooted in psychology it's called intermittent reinforcement um where unpredictable rewards create stronger

behavioral fixation than consistent rewards which is the same principle behind like slot machines and social media notifications and i actually sent you a video about this liz the the psychology around social media notifications it's on instagram it's a really interesting video well you do know I have all my social notifications off right that's smart so I have all of them off I don't want to know yeah no it's um it is peaceful it's very peaceful not having those pings all the time I have some notifications on like if somebody that I'm following messages me but other than that I don't get any notifications um we were already kind of talking about this at the beginning but um relationships on the show become survival so staying on the show is like a

big part of like your social standing at the end of the day um which is part of the hierarchy of needs which are which says that humans are motivated by belonging security and social acceptance and when you're in the villa your couple provides all three of those things um it's really interesting seeing all of these studies pop up in like in regards to this because there are so many studies like the maslow's hierarchy of needs that are from the fucking 40s and it's like we really haven't changed much as a people no but and i mean a lot of the shit that they said back in the 40s were wrong um i'm just gonna speed run the last pieces of this um so we talked about the fishbowl effect uh there's something called evaluation apprehension this was

published in the 70s before there was even as much evaluation as we have now but people alter their behavior when they know they're being observed and evaluated so it's like it's interesting to think about i mean i like how they do it in love island because the cameras are all hidden like they're aware that they're on a show but i'm sure at some point they're just like forget that they're being recorded you know so did i i didn't share this with you uh i saw someone say someone this is controversial but someone should really tell sincere about the cameras that's so fucking funny that's hilarious that's so true he's such an idiot like you don't think that these things are going to like become known like he really is a dumb ass anyway that's why i don't like him

your days are numbered sincere hopefully uh but he's nothing personal but oh we got two letters he got two letters oh he oh duh yeah i was like we got two letters hell yeah we did it um hold on i'm gonna get the cat okay oh my goodness look it's amelia hi game birds you can't hear me but you can see me hello please just sit on my lap oh my god ah your claws he's all settled in now it's like i did what i needed to do um he's been on my lap all day so i can't even begin to imagine the next point of this is america becomes part of the relationship contestants may be asking themselves are people rooting for us do i look genuine do i look stupid does america think that we're compatible um there's something called the self-presentation theory humans actively manage

impressions when they know that they're being observed there's also the looking glass self where we partially construct our identities through how we believe others perceive us yeah which goes back to like you come out of the villa and you get all of these like you turn on your phone and you get to see all these people saying things about you and like being an active participant in this relationship that meant a lot to you in the moment and you had no idea that there were all of these I mean you you do know on some you know in some regards because you sign up for the show but like I would imagine it's still you can't even like fathom like the volume at which people are getting invested in your life and like creating all of these ideas about who you are

um and it just it just sounds like it would there's no way that that wouldn't be toxic because a lot of people too if you get a hundred nice comments and one awful comment the awful comment stays with you and that's like for sure even just as like a regular person if someone says something mean to me like I hate when I have a post and just like one dumb ass is like I'm gonna take this literally or like I'm just gonna assume malicious intent like say something out of pocket and rude yeah it's it's really and I think like on some level they know that it's like a lot of the time it's people that just like really need attention from someone and so they're just gonna be assholes because they know that they'll get attention somebody commented on one

of my videos um and i pinned it because it was such a heinous comment i'm like you need you need to be like you need the pin shame um yeah and so he got pinned and like there are like 400 comments replying to this guy being like what the fuck is wrong with you and i went here's the attention you ordered right right i went to his page and people are commenting on his posts like does your like does your daughter know that you talk to women that way like you know stuff like that and it's like oh he probably does it for that reason he probably doesn't get attention anywhere else so he has to be a dick online it's kind of like how cats will do something naughty because that they know they'll get attention even if it's not positive it's so true um so the final piece of

this is the irony of all of it because the audience is doing the same thing we cry over breakups we fight in the comments we obsess over couples we rearrange evenings around watching the episodes um and uh we haven't known these people for longer than a week so like while they're getting obsessed with each other in the villa after knowing each other for a week we're also obsessed with them and we've only known them for a week holy shit so there's like a lot of information about um i mean since the 50s there's been all these studies about mass communication and parasocial interaction which i didn't i thought parasocial was like a new phrase yeah i didn't realize it's not either it was a parasocial with a hyphen in the 50s at least

um that people form emotionally meaningful one-sided bonds with media figures but love island is unique because obviously the episodes air almost in real time so it's like we we get the frequent exposure we get the emotional continuity and the ongoing investment in them so like they're speed running romantic attachment and then we're speed running the parasocial attachment and i don't think that people are realizing that that's exactly what's going on like y'all are as invested in this as they are to you know a certain degree mind-blowing i hadn't thought of that but right that's such a good point it's like like my brother kept saying like they've only known each other for like eight days at this point while they were you know explaining

the show to us and you're like that's crazy but then you're like i know so much about them because i've watched them i've observed them in this very specific experience for the last for like 24 7 you watched a super cut of i mean it's still a lot they're filming them all day yeah but it's still a lot to watch like an hour and a half of their day right yeah it absolutely is and like it's an hour and a half of your day too it feels like you're kind of like facetiming them because it's happening right now and like you have a say in how it goes it's and it would be such a mind fuck to like that to know that other people like the general public knows certain things about your relationship that you don't yeah that would fuck me up i mean that's also like people like melanie

when she kept asking like how many times did you kiss soul i think a piece of that must have been that where it's like everybody else fucking knows like i should know yeah like the world has seen it so i should know which i can't even fucking imagine because like when i got cheated on in college and all my roommates knew like a month before i knew that small scale of like people knowing shit before me drove me into the fucking ground like i can't even imagine like millions of people and like apparently they got more votes on the first recoupling vote when the bombshells came in than they got on the finale of last season so people are watching and and interacting with this in like a greater greater mass than last season and last season was so successful so it's just

like you're and you're being told this too because apparently the app crashed on the first vote yeah that's what i heard they had to have told the people in there like hey we actually like a lot of people voted that would make me go insane yeah i'd be like what do you mean a lot of people voted yeah you're the app can't handle how many people are invested like that's crazy so anyway and well and you can't like when you think of all of these different pieces of the scenario you're like okay maybe I wouldn't act the way I think I would yeah like I'm sure everyone goes into the situation like thinking it's gonna be a type of way and you're like yeah you have cameras on you 24 7 you're always mic'd up there's no way you can get away to have just

like a really honest candid conversation right like that would drive me insane to be like i just want to take off my mic for a second and like have a real conversation with this person that isn't filmed right like even on the bachelor they get that right but it's like there's like there's cameras literally like they were with um gabrielle every single night watching them i'm like are you guys like straight up fucking like what they are they like showed his underwear sitting there and i did see that well and then when they were like what happened last night and she's like i don't even fucking know i'm like girl what do you mean yeah what if anyone should use a condom it looks like that guy yeah oh 100 yeah he is i think he's so i think he i told amelia this i think that um

gabriel's head looks like an acorn like his hair just looks like a little he is obviously all of them are so fucking hot but his head is the shape of an acorn and his little haircut looks like the top of an acorn to me i really loved him in bad trees together i didn't see enough of her the first episode i watched she's such she is a real ass bitch she's i really liked her though from what i did see she had some good commentary tell everyone how it was and like keep her cool about it you know like and what are the chances popped off at her one time um because she like approached confronted her about something and melanie was popping off like walking away and beatrice was just like beatrice was just like so chill about it she was like i didn't think that she would pop

off like that like if somebody was popping off at me like that i would start crying i don't care if i'm in the right don't yell at me well and it makes sense why you know trinity is like bawling her eyes out yeah when bae left or bia yeah bia bia yeah bia because that's like that's the realest bitch on there and so is trinity and you're speed running like those like platonic relationships yeah i was thinking about that too like i can i mean just the level of like emotional intensity you have with a platonic friend like another woman like i don't know it's just it it it makes sense that it can feel more intense than a romantic connection because there is this level of trust that you have with a platonic friend that you don't necessarily get in a romantic partner yeah

you know what I mean yeah you you trust a friend with your most intimate feelings because a romantic connection you have to work your way up to that whereas like a mutual friendship is kind of like a shared experience it's an agreement yeah totally that's a good way to put it I'm trying to think of a comparison like of when I've gotten that close with someone in such a short amount of time I mean like study abroad for me like I became so close with people so fast and I was watching it happening clicks like in the group so quickly because like you know like just like we're saying like you're having this shared experience you're in you're in a situation that you're not normally like you're out of your comfort zone so you're kind of like clinging on to a life raft and like they're your

emotional support person too so like there's just so many things at play that just intensify the friendship yeah I'm thinking even like um I don't know like even when we worked together and we went to like Chelan yeah like I got so much closer with the other women there and I wasn't there because I was like I had a crush on any of those guys I think I was dating someone no no you had just broken up with shoe man okay yeah i found you in the bathroom crying well i started dating someone not long after so maybe that's true like i didn't i wasn't single for too long that's true but i i think it was before because i had that picture from chelan on my dating profile oh so it must have been like that brief period in between and the reason i went is because i was

like i need more girlfriends like yeah i really want to it felt like i know i've talked to you about this before but it felt like the friendships with the women were being gatekept by the men we worked with it was so weird and yeah i i don't i can't go into more detail without like revealing too much personal information you know but yeah i was like i need to i need to break through this barrier on my own so i could just hit up these women because it was just like these girls are cool as fuck I want to hang out with them but like I work closer with these men so like they're my in to like making these friendships with other women which is kind of funny I know that is funny but I mean now look at us we got a podcast yeah look at us no man could stand between us no

literally I'd like to see one try I wouldn't that's a warning and a threat amen um well that's all that i had and uh that was all that my brain cell could handle today how are you yeah i'm i'm doing all right i feel a little reinvigorated just because i just enjoy talking to you i know i feel the microphone or not i love i love chatting with you i haven't seen i like our chats i love our chats yeah melanie i love our chats i'm still going to explore my option i don't know that was perfect thank you what am i hearing is that your fridge uh no there is a you know how like electric cars have that backup sound yeah yeah someone's uh taking a real long time backing yeah it sounds like you're being like beamed up to heaven i wish or just even temporarily

beamed away so i could sleep for a long time would that be nice running on fumes over here yo tambien well do you want to you and i are gonna sleep like rocks tonight i 100 i hope this dog lets me sleep or i'm going to chuck him into the ocean but i love him he's cute he's cute he's that time he's away with it he does look like a dog that would be yappy he's very happy and his voice has not dropped yet so it really it hits your eardrum in a certain way oh god okay well i'm praying for your rest i'm praying for yours a restful night thank you all right i'll try and sing us out i feel like i have too many background sounds i'll sing us out okay i'll put myself on mute i need you i don't care if there's background sounds we love you all children

beep beep beep that was beautiful it sounded just like it oh good thank you i tried to hit the tone just right it was great all right bye Oh, yeah.