The Hoely Hour - The Summer I Turned Into A Sociopath feat. Mr. Liz

Episode Date: August 15, 2025

Girl chore or boy chore? Liz and Mr. Liz determine who should do which chores in a relationship. What's like the opposite of a dating coach? Mr. Liz details the stories of a creep he met at work the summer before he went to college who "coached" him on ways to be a predator. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hi Angels, it's Liz. This episode is featuring Mr. Liz. We recorded it last month and before you jump in and listen, there's a part of this episode where I'm definitely giving Mr. Liz attitude. I like asked him if he knew the date of our anniversary and he said no, which this does not surprise me. I've been with this man for five years. He, I had to teach him a little phrase to remember my birthday he doesn't remember his own parents birthdays he and I know that's how that sounds bad but uh he just doesn't have a good memory from smoking way too much weed as a teenager and um he very responsibly kind of lives by his google calendar so it's not like he doesn't try he just doesn't have a good memory on the spot

um but uh I'm there's a part where I'm giving him attitude about that and um our anniversary was at the beginning of August and to come to his defense he planned a very beautiful evening for us and I'm actually the asshole who did not get him a gift for our five-year anniversary and um that's because we don't give gifts unless it's something that we know the other person is really going to love. And Mr. Liz is notoriously hard to give a gift to because he's so particular. But I did get him a gift for when he returns from vacation. So just wanted to give that little preface if you're listening and you're like, damn, I can't believe Mr. Liz isn't doing the bare minimum and remembering their anniversary it's actually me who's not doing the bare minimum but um yeah he's

he's a fantastic boyfriend so I just wanted to uh give that little introduction before you before you listen but I hope you enjoyed this episode we had a lot of fun recording it and soon we will be releasing an episode featuring both Frank and Mr. Liz that one was a lot of fun to record um i actually would like to hear an episode where it's just the two of them hosting i have no idea what they would talk about but i'm sure they'd figure it out so i hope that you enjoy no those ones were good okay upgraded even more oh so this is this is you're onto the third upgrade yeah okay that's our second upgrade okay our first upgrade or our first podcast mic was um a yeti mic a single yeti mic okay yeah um listeners i'm i'm quite a uh an av um nerd and

i will not listen to a podcast if the audio isn't good so if this mic sounds bad i apologize i don't know what it sounds like i find it hard to listen to a podcast where the mic sounds bad but if the topic's interesting enough i'll tolerate it it has to be incredibly interesting well you heard it here first mr liz uh is a particular man very spent a lot of time um getting my discord setup dialed audio wise so that people don't have to listen to a shit mic on my end the first time i saw mr liz's um gaming setup i was like what is this because i've literally never seen anything like that i think that maybe that just speaks to like how many men i don't know but he had like this whole gaming setup and then i was like what why do you have a microphone like

this and he was like i also have a podcast i was like wait really and he was like no what if i had a podcast that just talked about niche podcasts like yours that's the only reason you you went on a date with me i do remember that oh i was thinking about this the other day why i think the reason i uh spent so much time getting it uh set up was and like dialed in to be high quality was that was peak covid that uh that's when i started using discord for the first time to hang out with people um virtually like all my east coast friends and then people you couldn't really see anyway during covid we would hang out on discord um i didn't have a webcam so i figured out how to use my dslr as a webcam yeah so he's just always in high quality high quality audio

high quality video my i remember my you should help us with the podcast for free no um yeah canon released this like uh well i don't have to get into it no tell the listeners um yeah canon has this free um software where you can use your dslr as a webcam um and it was kind of like i'm not sure if it was discontinued or experimental or something but it's a little little buggy but it works once once you get it working um and then yeah i just have a boom mic but the if you're used to just webcam quality and then you see the dslr as webcam even though the it's not necessarily higher resolution just using an actual camera lens and a high quality sensor versus one that's built into your laptop or just a little logitech one that the difference is wild like you can

actually have um depth of field and yeah good i don't know good glass on there wow it's a big difference well i have um a few games prepared for you perfect one of them is called boy chore or girl chore okay um where i'm gonna name a chore and you have to tell me if you think it's a boy chore or a girl chore do we need to set this up at all have you talked about boy chores or girl girl chores girl chores no i haven't so how would you like to set this up um a friend of a friend um used to date someone who um was very particular about who did what chore out of um kind of stereotypical gender roles yeah um so for example taking out the trash is a boy chore and i don't know what a girl chore would be well sometimes we just will name something a boy chore or a girl

in our household well we just thought it was so funny when we heard that that we just they were legitimately like well that's a boy chore or that's a girl chore yeah well i i do these chores so they do those chores yeah so we just it just became an inside joke so now it's an inside joke with the podcast listeners or it will be um some of these will be relevant to our relationship and chore specifically um but that's the fun of it okay it's a mix of things okay um the first one is putting the sheets on the bed boy chore or girl chore that should be a girl chore but i've been doing it more recently so it's a boy chore i feel like it's a it's always been a boy chore because or like at least between us it's a boy chore because you're really particular about

your process for putting sheets on the bed you gotta get them crispy you gotta get them real tight yeah off of it oh i started to give up if it's too hard i remember i mean my i think because my my dad was so particular about how we made the bed and i remember one of my friends saw me make my bed in college and he just goes damn you just made the shit out of that bed um finding the weird smile in the fridge boy chore or girl chore as in identifying where it's coming from yeah girl chore but the boy may have made the smell boys do make smells um crying boy chore girl chore um i would say the real chore is is holding in all your emotions to not cry which is a boy chore

so crying is a girl chore yes okay building ikea furniture that is a boy chore but you are much better at it and more patient than me i almost enjoy it well no i do enjoy it i enjoy assembling furniture because i get into like a flow state i have these directions and i have to figure it out it's kind of like a puzzle yeah i dread it and i'll just like you know lock in listening to a podcast and when mr liz assembles ikea furniture it's like god damn it by the fuck shit yeah well i part of it is these these little tools and all these little corners and things that pop together are ideal if you have little child laborer hands like you like clunky ass sausage fingers aren't able to

stick anything together i think ironically the most pain in the ass thing that i assembled is the thing that we hang our towels on seems the most straightforward i know that's why it's so it pissed me off when it wasn't how is it like what the fuck wait how is it more complicated than just putting three dowels together basically the dowels are it is two of them are the same length and the other two are a different length and it just doesn't make sense like i don't know how to explain it you needed to be there but i i tried like four different ways of putting it together and i was like this still isn't fucking working what is going on it was and i was sweating oh it was enraging but anyway that's the only time i've been like what the fuck this should

be the easiest thing to assemble but it was in fact the most difficult uh and for the listeners it's kind of like a ladder where it's more tapered at the front or at the top it's more narrow and it tapers out it's a ladder you can hang blankets on it we hang our towels on it or well i hang our towels on it mr liz likes to uh hang his towels just strewn about i like to hang them where i think they're gonna get the most uh you want them to dry yeah yeah i'm gonna dry out them to get mildewy i don't care if they're drying aesthetically or not sometimes mr liz i think would live like a teenage boy if he didn't have to live with anyone else yes except that yeah except that what well i had a

somewhat elevated teenage boy way of living yeah that's why you reverted into you're like oh i already lived in an elevated way now it's time to squirrel everything away under my bed and hang my towels on the that's true on the top of the door where liz can't reach them anyways um fixing the broken toilet seat is that going to be a boy chore or girl chore our master bathroom i don't know what mr it's a whole thing it's a whole thing the fucking screw the honey well i need to go to the hardware store to get a new screw but the reason i can't just put the old one back in is because it's so fucking rusted and corroded that it's like oh one of them stripped and the other one that i was able to get

out i won't be able to get back in because of just how how gunked up it is uh with rust and corrosion i've like soaked it in bleach overnight and scrubbed the shit out of it uh it's it's uh screwed no pun intended well that seems like an easy an easy thing just to go to the store and get one thing get a new screw yeah get a couple of new screws all the easy things pile up yeah it's true um the the toilet seat in our master bathroom has not been attached to the toilet in two weeks so when you sit on it you slide around all two screws it has been attached by one screw yeah well now it doesn't if you do it if you do a perfect perfect vertical takeoff and landing with no lateral movement you're safe god forbid you scooch a cheek you're going down

it's true it scared me many times um remembering important dates is that a boy chore or a girl chore girl chore obviously when's our when's our anniversary i don't know you tell me you don't know you really don't know august you really don't know and we've been together for how many years five years it's either august or july it's in the summer i'm not gonna tell you okay and then i'm gonna plan something and what surprise when i give it to you and you don't have anything to also give me let's preemptively make something and then is it today no you're lucky it's not

today anyways uh deciding what's for dinner i would say stereotypically girl chore but we we both do that lately it's been slop yeah factor slop not a sponsor um talking to a service worker any any type of service boy chore or girl chore I do always delegate that to you well you also just kind of do it yeah

you're like listen I'm the guy in charge I'm the tallest that's how you know I'm the boss exactly waiting on hold with customer service boy chore or girl chore boy chore I feel like you do that way more

yeah returning packages well a girl chore that a boy needs to help the girl with because she may put it off until 24 hours before they were due maybe slightly longer or slightly over that time frame and then that was once crashed out and the boy had to help problem solve how did you problem solve you just said talk to their customer service well you were adamant about not wanting to do that and i was like i think they would really help if you just like why don't you just call them or use their online chat because normally they're gonna

they're like i don't know especially for econ places people kind of want to help you out that's their job they don't want to have angry customers annoying them it's pretty easy for them just like click around a little bit and be like boom got you sorted yeah true um asking the neighbors to be quiet boy chore girl chore wow these are really um passive aggressive i i did uh use chachi pt to help me make this list and that one was actually from chachi pt okay um boy chore um deciding the couple's halloween costume girl chore uh yeah go for it um our couple's halloween costume is going to be uh that was a good one i forgot what it was fuck what did i i it just left my brain well the first oh our couple's costume is going

to be from scott pilgrim and we're going to be uh the vegetarian guy in the band the vegan boyfriend yeah the vegan boyfriend and what's your face the evil girlfriend fiona apple fiona apple no that's an actual musician who who am i thinking of i think her name is fiona oh i can't remember brie larson does she cover fiona apple song no she sings the metric song metric okay well those two um or my other my other suggestion was nosferatu and johnny depp's daughter i would be a rat no you'd be nosferatu i'll be a little rat no okay we have the height difference that's true and i want to have a hot halloween costume for one for once okay um so let us know which which costume you think we should do because i'm open

to changing it um i only have a few more left um bringing a jacket in case it gets cold is that a boy chore girl chore should be a boy chore but i feel like i always uh dress too coolly like temperature wise and sometimes leads you astray with how not cold i think it's gonna be i i feel like i always bring a jacket just in case yeah sometimes i'm worried i'm gonna be too cold when it's very hot out um explaining the origin of the meme boy tour girl tour uh it totally depends on the meme but um i feel like you well you know a lot more pop culture stuff but i feel like i might know some more older memes i know some older memes like like more of like the classic more fortune yeah more fortune memes

i don't know if that's a flex it's not bad um i got to explain the go piss girl meme to mr liz wait where did that come from gossip girl okay and now he just said every time i'm like oh i have to pee he'll say go piss girl or rip a piss rip and piss um this is the last one saving a bug instead of killing it um boy chore yeah i save bugs that aren't spiders spiders scare me and i just don't want them in the house spiders also scare me which is why i don't remove them from the house because i don't want to get too close to them i just if they're poisonous i don't want one of the cats to get hurt by one i'm not sure we have to worry about that but that's good looking out for the

means yeah they can barely catch like a fly or a moth splunk has been very into chasing his little squid lately uh for those who don't know splunk is grandpa the talkative cat we call him splunk in the household and he has this toy that is a a little stuffed squid on a string on a stick it's his favorite thing yeah in the past like two weeks he his screaming is only satiated by getting the squid out and flipping it around for him uh and he only likes when mr liz plays with him with the squid i don't do it well enough yeah because mr liz whips it around and he grandpa can really get into his inner their hunter yeah inner hunter um i do have one other it's not a game it's just a list

of um things that boys love doing and and maybe you can add to this list okay um things love things boys love doing backing into parking spots um hoping a problem just goes away i love that in fact they often do physical problems or just general problems all all problems physical problems that just go away are great but it's kind of like when you think a car problem just goes away and you're like i it's probably just got worse in a different way that i can't tell that's true for emotional problems as well um explaining how things work without being asked is something boys love to do indeed um knowing niche trivia yep having a giant tv yes i think

i think i had i did um having a giant tv pretty well with the projector route so that we can not have a giant black rectangle in the center of our living room when we're not using it it is very aesthetic yeah you know it looks like there's now i can just look out the window yeah look out the window and then when you want to watch something you pull down the screen yeah or you can watch the naked neighbors yeah um they haven't been naked very recently no well and the leaves have grown in so you can't really see them anymore which is nice i guess we'll know by the the fall or yeah the winter if they're still together when the leaves fall away um last thing is uh boys love having five different remotes for their giant tv five different remotes yeah well generally you've

got all your different peripherals you need a remote for each one you got a remote for the subwoofer remote for the the sound bar the regular speakers then you got your tv remote and then maybe your smart device remote like if you've got like a fire stick or a google tv or any sort of dongle you got plugged in there this really just ties into your av comment at the beginning all right i don't know how how uh anonymous i should make this but i mean i don't even remember his name well that makes it pretty anonymous okay um yeah i worked with this guy when i was in high school uh do you think you're facebook friends with him no i didn't really use facebook especially near the end of high school yeah um yeah so he was he i think he was a genuine

psychopath or had borderline personality disorder or has it still if he's still alive i wouldn't be surprised if he died in a car crash which is what i'll get into later um but he was and i i think i'll preface the way i don't think this is excuses anything but i think it certainly influences his behavior um he was probably five two um and had a bit of a chip on his shoulder well about his height i mean society treats very short men like way differently it's one thing to be shorter than average it's another thing to be getting close to dwarfism um and yeah feeling like the world is kind of against you socially at that point that said i have a very good um short very short friends that are fantastic people that aren't psychopaths that is true you do

have many short friends yeah and i think that uh even though you can feel like uh an outsider because of that i don't think that necessarily makes you be a psychopath but he certainly was one um so like the first time we worked together he was like you want anything out of the vending machine and uh how old were you oh okay i was 18 this is the summer before i went to college he was probably 22 i think he was either close to graduating or had recently graduated college okay um and uh yeah so he he like gets me like a gatorade out of the vending machine and is a very just like very nice and like personable to me and then the like the more i thought back on it as i got older and just the more i had talked to him over that summer i realized that like

every nice thing that he did to me or to another person was because he thought that uh he thought that being nice to someone or doing them a favor but he would do that only to get something in return to manipulate them into um thinking that uh you're useful or that they can be like trusted or liked or do you have an example um well he straight up told me that more or less at one point but he was he he would always just kind of uh rant to me about different ways that you could game the system or manipulate people um and his one of his like core philosophies do you think he read the book uh like how to win friends absolutely people and that's like the cornerstone of his personality yeah um he told me that all people want is money sex and power and

if you you can use that knowledge to manipulate people like you know what are they trying to get out of this like people want to feel liked people want to feel powerful he'd be a great tech ceo yeah he'd need some lifts but uh yeah um and i think i think i got a ride home with him maybe like one or two times um maybe only once because there's no way i would get in a car with him again after that but i he liked to drive so that you were literally afraid of your life um like so that's why you think you might have died in a car accident yes because like to the point where you know going so fast around blind turns that if there was something there you would have no stopping time no stopping distance you would you would cry you would

absolutely like if there's we lived in a kind of um an area where the suburbs very quickly turned into rural farmland and i don't know there's a lot of deer around a lot of people on bikes a lot of kids like you would absolutely kill or destroy something if not to straight up lose control over your car on some of these windy roads but yeah the time i got right with him i was definitely like i feel very uncomfortable i wouldn't be surprised if this car loses traction and we crash or we hit something um and i think he enjoyed uh the feeling of like control and power over his passengers like that so hate that yeah yeah um and then he had this whole like um playbook on how to do college basically and i would say 90 percent of it how to become a predator yeah 90

percent of it was just how to be the best predator you can be and the other 10 percent where it was like actually useful stuff that i i did i did do some of and it definitely helped well how about organize start with the useful stuff and then and then share the creep stuff okay um i guess the only the real only useful thing was his uh yeah on friday night you would just make a plan for what you have to do homework wise for the weekend so you would just like get all your ducks in a row you know, jot down your homework to do list, you know, maybe, um, if you need to get books from the library or something, do that. Just like get, get everything set up and ready to go. And then just like, take it easy Friday night, you know, don't stay out super late. You can have

a few drinks, but don't, don't truly party. Then Saturday morning, get up and just knock out all your homework. Just get it all done Saturday morning, Saturday afternoon. And then Saturday night you can party super hard and sunday uh you can just chill out and recover not feel like oh i have to do all this sunday scary yeah i have a sunday scary to do all this homework i'm so hung over um and for the most part i stuck to that and it was super helpful that is pretty smart and i think that would be very hard for a college student to do yeah because i don't i i don't think most people have that kind of self-discipline especially in college when you're maybe this maybe i'm just speaking from my own perspective my time at college

learning was secondary to my social life so i still like got everything done and did well enough but yeah i would say that i cared very little about learning but i did want to get good grades so i would figure out ways to get the best grade with actually i didn't care about not learning i cared about not spending too much effort on college because like in my especially because i started freelance doing freelance design when i was like a freshman maybe sophomore i felt like i'm like i'm getting paid to do design stuff yet i'm paying to learn how to do design stuff like in in my mind uh college was just like holding me back from doing what i actually wanted to be doing full-time so i was like this is like i i love hanging out with my friends i love doing

all this um you know i'll have more time to do these like freelance projects and personal art projects that i like if i can you know get my schoolwork out of the way so i would figure out the most efficient way to get a good grade with the least amount of effort i'm trying to do that with my real job yeah for art history for example um uh pretty much all my art history classes were what's called like art in the dark format where you would be in a lecture hall and it would be lights were off and there's a projector on and it would just be slides of different paintings or artifacts and the teacher would you know ramble about each one and then the test would be basically just you know that picture that you saw and you'd have to write about it or just like

give facts or there you know just be general trivia about random different paintings so it's a lot of memorization which I didn't want to spend the time to do so I figured out a way to like the most efficient way to memorize that information which was I would take the the initials of the artist and the date maybe i don't remember if it was just the last two digits of the date but i would basically memorize these strings of codes that were the artist's initials and then the date um and then as soon as that and i would you know be scanning and reviewing this list of codes literally moments before the test started and then as soon as they were like write notes away got the test paper i would just write down all those codes and then extrapolate

it into the artist's full name and date and if i had any other um abbreviations memorized i would use that like you know um uh decode them basically to have all this stuff at the top of my paper to reference do you feel like that was easier yes but i didn't learn anything that way because as soon as the test was over i'd forget that list it would it would just be so i could quickly write it down and have a reference point of uh being able to you know pull for like if i saw a picture of a painting i could be like oh i think it was this guy be like yeah i wrote that down so you know there's no other option it could be well what were the creepy things that okay this guy taught you before you went to college yeah so this is the last i mean this thing is helpful but he framed

it in a creepy way which is basically like keep your room really clean so that uh women will be impressed by it like women will want to be in your room because it's clean don't like his perspective is like don't keep your room clean for yourself because it's a clean room like keep it to impress and attract people that you want to sleep with um i mean if that's what men need to do to keep their house clean yeah that's not terrible but it is creepy yeah for sure i did have a very clean college dorm though um and he also said that you should get like not one but two mattress toppers so that your bed was so comfortable that if a girl sat down on it she wouldn't want to get up yeah was it a big eye roll i did they rolled out of my head and then yes straight up uh like

psycho manipulation stuff was mostly around you know how to get how to get women drunk um so his his first step was that you would find a good drinking spot to bring people to so whether this be like a good like a cool spot in the woods or like by a lake or some were those his recommendations find a cool spot in the woods to get girls drunk he was positing this like you're underage so you need to be somewhere where you won't be found or caught easily by uh police or you know campus security so whether you're having like a bonfire or something like that it needs to be yeah it needs to be a spot that's not easily away from civilization where you can murder your date exactly um and then you would want to get a pink lemonade mix because

that's what girls love um girls girls love pink obviously yeah and and mix that with vodka because when you use a lot of pink lemonade mix you quote can't taste the vodka and then the real kicker here is uh get straws from mcdonald's um for the drinks because the mcdonald's straws are considerably wider than a normal straw so his logic is that when one sip of that is more than a normal sip and you don't realize how drunk you're getting and if girls are drunk they're more likely to forget how short you are yeah or how much of a creep you are girls don't care if you're short if you're they don't think you're they don't think you you could be creepy if you're short yeah so really showing them wrong yeah i should look into see if this what happened to

this guy oh absolutely the second you remember his name you know me and amelia will find him immediately no way i can remember his name i would have to go and see if i can find any pictures of the staff or something and go from there i'm gonna help you do that after this after recording this podcast um we did have a listener who dm'd me and she said that she wanted to hear more of what you thought about the naked neighbors oh okay um well definitely i'm not one to kink shame i think that well should we i i don't know if listeners maybe just jump in okay to an episode so uh there's a really big apartment building across the street from us and we can see you know dozens of different windows of this apartment

complex one of them that is pretty much directly across from us and down one floor the people that live there um definitely enjoy walking around naked and at first we're like oh you know who doesn't like being naked in their own home yeah be nude in your own home yeah especially when when it's hot out i definitely do that but it it's not like we are looking into their bedroom it's literally the living room and then behind that is the kitchen this was one big open room and just they got like progressively more just like doing it in an exhibitionist way where you know it's night the lights are on and they're either having sex in front of the living room window or uh there was one time where they were doing what seemed to be like strip karaoke

there was a microphone and clothes being taken off while singing and dancing it very much seems like there's another couple that was over what would it i i think we talked about this but what song do you think he was singing oh i have no idea i feel like this is a theater kid so maybe something from cats i think that he was singing that cat song i think that he was singing that frank sinatra song that's like what is a man you know what i'm talking about um and then i think that she was singing a rihanna song i think she was singing snm okay i can see that and we'll never know what the the guests were singing because they closed the curtains after that yeah um and then there is one time where both neighbors were naked and then they had someone

over that was fully clothed and the naked neighbors were just like walking around doing their thing making food or whatnot and then eventually the clothed person left but not before receiving a hug from both naked people and that was weird to me i i don't know something about being fully clothed being hugged by a naked person is wrong you need to both be naked or both do you think he was expecting them to be naked uh i i actually don't know the i feel like that person might have been non-binary like i i had a hard time telling there oh i thought i'm pretty sure it was man okay pretty i felt very confident that they identify as a man okay um but do you think that the clothes person knew that they they were going to be walking into a place that was

yes too full i thought that they he seemed a little surprised it seemed a little uncomfortable yeah it definitely seemed awkward yeah and at that point i feel like it would be would you consider it assault because but if you're walking into someone else's home yeah i mean it certainly could be they certainly stayed for a long time but maybe i'm remembering it wrong i don't feel like they were there for that long it was at least half an hour i didn't know if they left or if they went into the bedroom with them yeah i don't remember i need to check my log the naked neighbor log

keep a little journal about it captain's log neighbor his dung's out i think you should be able to be like fully comfortable being naked in your own home i do think it is weird to have sex in front of your living room window very clearly uh being able to be seen from the street or other apartments especially because there's like two young kids that live below us that they could easily see that um but i also don't like really know what the laws are around that i think that yeah i think that that's that's fully legal yeah and it's not like we're the only building that could see into their window no anyone in our building buildings around us

yeah and maybe the two neighboring buildings as well yeah okay i'm recording how do you normally end these besides your uh song obnoxious singing um usually we just end it so thanks for listening to this podcast episode featuring mr liz and many creeper stories and now you know a lot about boy chores and girl chores yeah take that home with you could you think of anything else that boys like doing boys like doing or can you think of anything that girls like doing oh that's a good one online shopping with the uh aspiration that anything that doesn't fit will get promptly returned if the listeners can think of any boy chores or girl chores or things boys like to do

or girls like to do you can let me know let me know if you have any other questions for mr liz i can get him back on the podcast because i know my people know his people yeah well quick quick turn around with the team yeah all right bye goodbye Thank you.