The Hoely Hour - They need to be doxxed

Episode Date: April 24, 2026

We went back to our roots this ‘sode, y’all. We read a girlhood email from one of our angels before diving in to some sex headlines. We also briefly discuss the unsurprising and absolutely horrific online rape academy that around 63million people visited toward the end of this episode so please take care of yourselves if this is going to be triggering for you. It’s in the last 5 minutes. We love you!!! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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May slow when network is busy. See terms. Hey, we recorded for the past 10 minutes and it wasn't recording. It stopped working. Amelia was at Coachella aka Crochella where I made all of my outfits check it out on my Instagram if you haven't seen it super cute thank you I love it I'm relieved that it's over because that was a lot of work she's sun-kissed she looks beautiful thank you so much I got a little bit of sun beautiful glow on her face maybe I'm pregnant uh-oh no but I did need vitamin d badly I also

slept last night for the first time in like 20 years so beautiful thank you thanks my ring was like what's different bae what happened is different yes why is your heart like not being yeah that really makes a difference but yeah uh Coachella was amazing guess who stopped smoking weed again you yeah mazel thank you I'm on day like five holy shit well because I told Mr. Liz I was I packed up all my weed in my little box which is actually also this is our Pisces bestie she had sent me like a box I think for my 30th birthday or something oh my god um and it has my name on it and girl i just want you to know that's my weed box she's gonna love hearing that and i told mr liz to i was like you got to put it in the in the shed and you need to hold me

accountable and then i woke up and it was it was gone and i'm assuming he put it in the shed that is so great so wow taking a hiatus cold turkeying yeah good for you thank you i did a amount of drugs this weekend speaking of weed i'm jealous i think i need to have a really good mushroom trip yeah we should we should do that you mean yeah let's have a big mushroom trip and you know what frank makes me laugh so fucking hard yeah we were talking about this before um i realized that the microphones had cut out and we weren't recording anymore but how i haven't or no maybe before we were even recording i haven't laughed that was right before yeah i haven't laughed super hard in so long having a good laugh is the best laughing so

hard you're crying and that really happens on mushrooms it happened i mean i laughed so hard at frank's birthday yeah i and it helps that he's he's hilarious you're hilarious his friends are so fucking funny yeah they are he has great friends i was a little too high at the beginning but once you like burst through yeah once you burst through the come up yeah and I'll never forget Frank's friend well because Mr. Liz and I took the same amount which he's like twice my size yeah um I don't know why I was like oh yeah I'll I need the same amount of mushrooms and then uh Frank's friend leans over and says to Mr. Liz these mushrooms are kicking your ass huh he's like that's probably the last thing you want to hear when you're coming up on mushrooms

meanwhile I'm having a meltdown yeah you were outside freaking out about the sun statue on my neighbor's house that did make me laugh really hard though it was a freaky face yeah I haven't been able to look at it the same since that whole thing it's just it's very shocking to look at especially when you're super high on mushrooms I just a good like crying until you're like laughing until you're crying high on mushrooms is the best feeling ever I said this when we were recording before but my friend Alan listens to the podcast he's the best he is so supportive and amazing and something happened this weekend that's not worth talking about it's just kind of a nothing story but he made me laugh so fucking hard that I was in tears and so was our friend Ali and it's just

like I knew that it was the mushrooms like in the moment I was like this is only this funny because i'm high and i didn't care you know what i mean i was just like this is the feeling of joy is so like rare these days it is hard to feel joy right now yeah i've been thinking about this so much lately how like everything is really flattened in culture like i notice it you'll notice it everywhere once you notice it in one place you'll notice it everywhere um i have been revisiting my silly little book series love that akatar um because the author is gonna her her newer book is coming out in october so i'm like oh i'll revisit see what i can remember um but i was i like to look up and see what like other fan theories are and it just reminded me why i hate

fandoms because they make everything so one-dimensional yeah and when you know like they're like why did this character make this decision i i don't like it and then it's like well you need if you want to have like a complex and enjoyable story you need to remember like these characters are supposed to be like people yeah people make choices that maybe you wouldn't make because they're like a different fucking person than you right i don't know and and if characters all made good decisions that would be a really boring story well this is like my thing i mean like i don't like one-dimensional stories but i fucking hate since i was a kid this i mean it's obvious it makes sense for a kid to think this way but not an adult

the villain in movies to me ruins movies and i know that they're such an important like plot bad guy doing something bad like rasputin and anastasia always sticks out in my head when i'm thinking about this because i'm just like that would have been such a like a nice like a good story if the fucking rasputin wasn't in it and that's the point yeah but like still into my adulthood i'm like why the fuck this is necessary but it moves the story along yeah and that's just like characters making bad decisions one story that is a it's a good story and has no villain is totoro oh i'm so excited to show frank totoro it was such an important movie to me and like i'm nervous to show it to him because he really has to be locked in you know yeah like pay attention

to this important piece of my childhood and he will you know and he knows when he knows it's time to lock in he will but like I feel like I just have to pick the perfect moment nothing makes me want to eat a vegetable more than watching Tojo oh my god and the rice Miyazaki food oh everything looks delicious it really does and when you eat something that have you ever eaten something that you're like this is what cartoon food tastes like no I can't think of anything oh my god Mr. Liz makes cheeseburgers that when you're high especially I'm like this is a fucking Krabby Patty oh this is amazing that's really good that's nice he's also like a reformed stoner so he like oh yeah when I'm high he like really leans into like taking care

of me because he knows what a stoner would love oh yeah he panders yeah yeah that's a smart man he'll like make me laugh he'll make me snacks that's so nice he just like really takes care of me we love Mr. Liz we call him I've been calling him the coffee fairy because he brings me coffee every morning that's such a love language oh my god i came home from coachella and frank had folded my laundry that's lovely it's such a little thing i feel like when people like say that shit about they're like oh yeah my boyfriend brings me coffee my boyfriend folds my laundry there's like this kind of like sentiment online that's like oh that's the bare minimum no it's not like those are such nice little things especially when you've been dating someone for a long time like

yeah you took the time to do that like sweet little things for you you didn't have to do that yeah and i haven't won a lottery also no one hates a happy relationship or a good man more than the internet that's so true they're like oh your boyfriend's like a good person i bet he's not fuck you do you remember that it was like a tweet like a few years ago where this woman was like i i had a moment sitting on the porch with my husband drinking coffee and just felt like so grateful and then the internet was like fuck you bitch some people don't have a patio or a husband it's really pathetic it's really pathetic misery loves company it sure does anyways so i have a bunch of talking tits today should we read that one uh listener letter real that was on my list

of topics actually so let's just do that now should we start with it yeah why not well i read it right before i came over and i was like this is fun what how about you read it okay yeah because you have all the hot topics i have so many topics okay we did get a girlhood email so shout out to the listener who sent us a girlhood email we love hearing from you and i'm gonna read it real quick hey liz and amelia you said you wanted a friendship breakup story from childhood so here's one that also side note that makes us sound so evil it's like a friendship breakup story we really we want to hear about you losing your best friend at a very impressionable part of your life i think that's also right on in i mean it's part of girlhood it is i agree okay you gotta lose your

girlhood friends yes you do my mom actually reminded me of this a few months ago and i've been cringing at it ever since listen i'm haunted by my cringy decisions constantly same um anyways i think this was at the end of elementary school there was pretty regular drama with two of my close friends jess and ashley i think there was some sort of competition between them or something i mean probably and then you're in the middle we went on a school field trip to an aquarium and we got to see the pool with the dolphins and the trainer asked for a volunteer from the class to do a trick with the dolphin in the tank the way my mom explained it when she reminded me of what happened the trainer picked my friend jess but ashley's mom who is one of the chaperones started

being a karen and insisted ashley should get picked instead ashley was able to go up to the tank and do the trick with the dolphin but of course that upset jess and i was suddenly in the middle of the resentment between them i mean that's kind of fucked up over mom yeah this is the cringy part for my behavior anyways i ended up siding with ashley which i shouldn't have done and jess and i drifted apart after that damn i remember being incredibly anxious about being in the middle of this fight and I remember my parents trying to coach me through it but I don't remember specifics other than that I don't even really really remember why I sided with Ashley it could have been pity and or compassion because I knew her family didn't have a lot of

money to spend on experiences like that and I was trying to acknowledge that but I'm not really sure I especially regret regret it now because Ashley turned out to be a horrible friend in adulthood and my decision to side with her made me a shitty friend to Jess isn't that a quintessential girlhood experience though an adult behaves poorly and we're stuck with having to deal with the fallout some fun girlhood experiences to balance out the drama I remember making home videos where my friends and I were newscasters and people being interviewed we had costumes and tried to make sound effects and everything I specifically remember a pretend news report about a tornado and acting like I was stuck in the middle that's so cute when Jess Ashley and

i were still friends we played circus a lot in justice backyard there were hula hoops those turtle sandboxes and i think a trash bag taped to a yardstick to make a flag i also often used the furniture my dad made for my american girl doll i had samantha as a makeshift town for my barbies my friend laura and i used to play hogwarts with them after we started reading harry potter lol i think that's another core experience of girlhood and childhood in general the creativity and resourcefulness that can turn something silly into a whole imaginative world i think that's really cool and i don't know if we have an adulthood equivalent maybe if you write short stories or novels or play dnd or something also the horse girls in my class are at least all

married now i think one of them had three kids before she was 25 can't wait for tomorrow's episode oh and uh she sent that 12 days ago and then we didn't record last week so that's why we're just reading it now that is reading this just reminded me of like i had a me and my friend aaron growing up when we were like nine we made a fake band called placky gingivitis that was we used like a little like drum set did you ever have that drum set that was like this big and it was just like pads i did not but i know what you're talking about it we had that as an instrument and like the other ones in the band were like a rag doll um like a baby doll and like another stuffed animal i like that you two were in the band and then you added yeah we added members and we were

placky gingivitis and like this kind of like the making the circus and like the trap the fly out of a trash bag like that's just like that's the shit that really i don't like we that fell off when we became adults yeah i mean obviously because like imagination just changes when you become an adult but that's sad like it is sad we don't play like we used to we don't play like we used to because we aren't we kind of aren't allowed to yeah you like no one prepares you for how shitty adulthood is and i know that sounds like sad and terrible but like there are so many you're able to be creative and whatnot when you're a kid because like all of your basic needs are taken care of yeah usually yeah um like you don't have to worry about paying bills you

don't have to worry about like shit like health insurance like you don't have to pay taxes like you don't have to deal with any of that stuff you have homework yeah you have homework that's it and also like friend drama if you're bad at a class then you're just bad at that subject it's not that big of a deal yeah whereas like in adulthood i don't know you're like i guess i have to go do my dumb job yeah and have zero vacation from it i was complaining to mr liz about this yesterday because i was like we should everyone should get like three months off from work oh yeah and he was like yeah but then you need you need one month like you need a month to catch up on all your adulthood bullshit like my my car tabs are expired and they've been expired for like

three years are you fucking serious i've got i got so many tickets when they were just six months expired are you serious you have avoided tickets yeah i haven't gotten any tickets i need wood oh my god that's amazing i you've really evaded capture i have i have well and you know what in seattle at least anytime you get a ticket you could be like it wasn't me yeah and then they're like all right i guess yeah oh damn can i drive it my tabs were stolen i don't know it wasn't me yeah they just peeled them off yeah because you just put your tabs on top of the other one that's why you're supposed to use a box cutter to do an x in it so people can't take it off oh and my car tabs have been expired for so long that if i got new car tabs it would just be

like in their system as like a new car damn it wouldn't be like oh you have to pay extra because your car tabs expired tabs are fucking bullshit my tabs are 550 this time holy shit why for what reason for what reason there's like there were like oh yeah yeah you get it in yeah well like red cars are more likely to get into a car accident and tickets allegedly stand out more to cops yeah bitches anyway back to this email um well you need a month to do your adulthood expenses and then you need another like three months to just like vibe so we were like how about everyone once a quarter gets one month off i think that that's fair that feels but i mean they would never do that we're too deep into capitalism to like take care of people you know but i remember

when i was pisses me off when my friends would have drama when i was growing up like this like in this email she was saying like that you would totally be the kind of person to be caught in the middle of all the time and it would give me so much fucking anxiety it's well like if i don't know if you've read like queen bees and wannabes it's um about kind of like the structure of like girl friendships and girlhood like there's a queen bee and then she has her little uh gossip b and then there's like a floater there there's just a hierarchy of girls in friendships okay in childhood um but it's really interesting you should definitely look it up i can't remember at all off all of it off the top of my head but the queen b which in this case i think was ashley

um is the bully yeah they're they're the ones who are kind of like in control of the dynamic of all of the girls um and typically like if there's more than three girls in the structure in the hierarchy structure like there's a whole bunch of different people but there's always someone that the queen bee picks on and you can see it reflect i think tina fey used this to write mean girls oh yeah i'm pretty sure like the structure inspired that yeah so very interesting there's a video on tiktok last night that was like what it the text on the screen said um pov you have a best friend that you that hates you but you're totally oblivious and it was like them making videos and like like trying to like do a dance and then the friend would be like why do you want to

do this dance if you didn't even fucking know it and she like would walk off screen and then the girl that would like put was posting the video would be like like just not realizing that she was like being mean yeah or like she'd be like they showed like paintings that they did and the friend was like yeah I had to help her with hers look at this one like she's so bad at painting like this is supposed to be a heart wait was this a bit no oh my god they're not friends anymore obviously but like when you're growing up and you have like a friend that is like manipulating you to like want to just like get their approval it becomes the most important thing in the entire world to you and it's like I don't know it feels like like I was watching that and I had I had a

couple of friends growing up that were like mean to me like that and I remember thinking just like oh yeah I mean you know it was good because I was now I'm able to kind of sniff it out more I don't think I was ever mean like that and I feel like the friends I was also not caught in the middle that's good I feel like I never had like super close friendships and my mom's complaint about me as a kid with like the the little girlfriends that i made was like um i would always have at least one friend that she fucking hated that's so funny i i can't deal with this girl like there would always be like yeah one girl who's like dramatic or like i don't know a lot of weird people would try and be my friend um i remember a girl in i think it was in like

sixth grade this girl it was it was when mean girls came out and maybe no maybe we were a little bit older but it was like right when mean girls came out and she had told everybody that she moved there from Africa and everyone was like oh like mean girls and then she like would make shit up like that and then I invited her to come to one of my dance classes with me because she like had just move there and then my mom was like oh so you guys like moved here from africa to her mom because my mom is like we're not gonna hang out like you're not hanging out with some kids unless i meet their parents yeah you know which i totally get now that i'm an adult yeah now that i'm an i do wish that my parents had given me a little bit more like like honesty of like well

we need to meet your friends parents because not all adults are good people yeah it's like you almost don't want to like worry kids about that i guess i don't know i just it made me really clueless in life i don't know i just needed to like i i wish that they had given me more information did they ever do something like if anybody ever asks you or ever says that like your parents asked you to help them with this thing like some rando in the park like ask them what the secret password is did they ever do that with you my parents had a secret password with me that like if an adult ever approached me and said that they were my parents friends I would have to ask them what the password was and my mom's like nobody would ever I

would never ask anyone to do something for me I don't think they would do a password thing I think they would like I think they I'm sure they told me something similar yeah like if a stranger comes up to you like would you at least be like stranger danger you know yeah so that's good I'm like oh the people who were creepy to me were people that we knew so that's so real anyways okay uh oh my mom was like to her mom she's like so you guys moved here from africa and her mom was like no i don't know why she's telling people that oh my god and then my mom was like elizabeth i gotta tell you this girl's a fucking liar yeah and then i confronted her and then i like never hung out with her again oh my god what did she say do you remember what she said when you confronted her i

mean i feel so bad like she was just a new girl trying to make friends yeah and have you ever seen i mean now i feel bad about it like yeah i was like why would you lie about that and then i just like never talk to her again and um when i think about it as an adult i'm like this this new girl like have you ever seen pen 15 no i really like pen 15 is like peak nostalgic girlhood including all of the cringe parts yeah i remember hearing about it and it it's so fun and funny to watch like it's because the two main characters are adult women playing their childhood selves and everyone else is like a kid or a teenager and it's so that's really funny that's such a funny concept yes it's hilarious and it just kind of like i don't know it's really fun it's funny

and then like they're the season finale episodes are also like they're so heartbreaking and touching like most of these stories each episode is like a funny story but then they have these like really real moments and it's so moving i'm like maybe i'm gonna go home and binge that i should watch it yes you absolutely about it like clips of it all the time my dream scenario is that you and i um shift this podcast to us recapping episodes of like my favorite show you should start a podcast doing that people would fucking love that shit i don't want to start a second podcast that's fair that's too much yeah you don't need another job i don't think no no anyway should we move on yeah okay i i have no idea what you're about to talk to me about we have some talking

tits some breaking boobs I'm excited I don't know what we actually call it but it feels like we always use both yeah we always say both and you know what I love that for this segment um so this isn't really a news thing but it was in the sex news like search that I did so this is on Huffington Post the title is 13 sex questions you probably haven't asked your partner but should so I opened this and i hate most of them and you'll see what i mean but i want to read them to you one by one of all 13 of them and get your your gut reaction to them okay i i'm going into this assuming it was written by ai that's fair but it was written it said the the byline is uh 2019 the byline is a woman i i don't know i don't think women are exempt from using ai i like to

think that women writers are just more honest me too well women are less likely to use ai that makes sense but anyways hit me with it okay the first one is what's the best dirty dream you've ever had i'm okay with this one yeah i well even thinking off the top of my head like i wouldn't know yeah i don't i like barely remember my dreams right unless i write it down it's i'll forget it by the middle of the day and why would I write down a sex dream that's so true the so the rationale for this is this is a great way to open the door to talking about your fantasies which like does this mean real dream no like oh like dream like at night yeah yeah yeah while you're sleeping yeah okay a sleeping dream okay so that one's fine the next one is all I'm not gonna get I'm not gonna

give you my opinion I want your opinion okay what are your biggest turn-ons and turn-offs i mean that's a basic question pretty standard i also feel yeah i feel like that is a question that you ask someone kind of early on right i mean yeah i don't think we're weird for asking yeah no yeah i mean the headline of this is like i'm assuming our questions you probably haven't questions you haven't asked i've definitely asked many sexual partners yeah what are your preferences yeah what turns you on yeah what do you like what do you not like are people just going and guessing i guess or maybe they are like everyone's different conversations okay yeah maybe let's write this article to help mormons ask each other that might be what it is okay

what things turn you on that aren't overtly sexual we've talked about this on the podcast yeah i don't hate that me neither i'd need some time to think about it okay what do you think about when you masturbate huh I hate that question yeah that question because like they're not gonna be honest if it's something like yeah what if they're watching a lot of porn what if they're watching a lot of porn what if they're like I don't want to know that you're jerking off to porn no I don't want to know that you're jerking off to like like what if you're like jerking to like I don't know something that would like make me insecure I don't want to know keep it to yourself I don't need to know what you're

jerking your peanuts to also I don't know about you but sometimes I like the idea of something that I know I would not like in practice yeah and it's like okay so real it's safe in my head I can make it something else in my head but I know in real life I wouldn't want to do that right and and that's the rationale for this is by asking this question you can discover the unexpected things that attract and excite your partner but I agree it's like sometimes you're just like your brain just goes somewhere that yeah and if you really wanted to know you could just phrase that question differently yeah you could be like is there anything that you know you've wanted to try yeah or have you been i i think i've i've phrased it

as like is there anything you've been fantasizing about trying yeah which like or fantasizing about lately yeah that's the better way to ask that question i read the wrong rationale the rationale for this that was for um what things turn you on aren't over the rationale for this is learning more about your partner's solo sex routine can offer a glimpse into their sexuality which I disagree with yeah I think masturbating is I don't know to me that's a personal experience yeah masturbation is for me yeah that's me time yeah and that it's why I'm masturbating uh-huh if I wanted you involved you'd be involved yeah that's so true and that's such a good point like they're masturbating yeah I don't need to know about it no yeah what I what I don't know won't

kill me yeah exactly unless you're thinking about killing me you know yes yeah I mean I don't I don't want to necessarily know that yeah yeah like but I would like to have a heads up yeah yeah somehow be able to like get out of that yeah situation right okay the next one is when you search for porn or erotica what do you look for horrible question yeah I don't want to know porn categories are so strange and some people just like watching porn of things that maybe they don't like actually want to do yeah you know yeah sometimes you're just in a mood to see some like hardcore shit it's kind of yeah it's like what do you masturbate to yeah things that i don't want to do yeah right um and then the next one is is there anything that makes you turn off porn that you're

watching coming i guess yeah hello have you ever seen the it's like a i think i've only seen it on reddit but it's a meme of like how porn looks um when you're horny or like when you're masturbating and it's like a beautiful domino's pizza and then it's like how it looks after you've come and it's like a nasty gross greasy pizza it's so real so true where you're like i know after you come you're like what was i watching yeah what like am i why was i into this yeah oh my god yeah closing out of windows when i'm watching porn after i'm after i'm done i'm like i can't close out fast enough i'm like i like it yeah still i yeah um what's the most adventurous place you would like to have sex

that's fine yeah i mean yeah i'm like i'm not 25 anymore right exactly like i'm i'm fine with a bed or a couch i want to be comfortable yeah comfort is king like i'm not trying after a certain point in your life you're like I yeah I don't need like I already have to watch my neighbors fuck in front of their window so true yeah you get enough of it yeah and I don't that's adventurous enough for me I don't I don't want to fuck in front of my window no but it is fascinating to see someone else do it yeah it really is I mean that's that's still such a crazy like piece of lore about your home i do feel i am relieved when this time of year um springtime when all the leaves start to grow back on the trees and we don't have to see them get a little bit of yeah

but then i won't know if they're still in a relationship or if they still live there until all the leaves fall well it's like a grand reveal when the leaves fall off it's like oh look they're still together good we've joked before he mr liz like anytime we see them doing something weird uh mr liz is like should i text the neighbors downstairs to look out the window that's so funny so they know about it too i don't know we've never talked i'm sure they do i don't know i don't think they do just because their curtains are always closed oh i wonder if their curtains are always closed because the neighbors are always i'm wondering if their their curtains are always closed because the neighbors are always fucking or well and they're not always fucking they're

usually just like walking around either naked or mostly naked and they have kids downstairs don't they yeah my my neighbors downstairs have kids yeah so that makes sense that they would want to keep their blinds closed but also their place is a little messy so i don't know if they're like we don't want people to see into but also some people just live differently you know some people don't want the sun coming into their house i can't relate and they just want their homophobic lights turned on yeah homophobic lights those are overhead lights are homophobic yeah have you it's it's from a tiktok oh uh this girl's like turn off that homophobic lighting and it's like a bright overhead light so now we call overhead lights um homophobic lighting i love what you

guys end up calling things we do take i mean some of them are original ideas but many of them have been inspired by memes but then it like turns into your own little like vocabulary like your language and that's so fun to me i love that um also drawing the blinds does that mean closing or opening blinds closing draw the blind oh shit i don't know we're amelia bedelia now yeah oh yeah she would actually draw the blinds and she drew a picture of them she would hit the road i fucking love that amelia she would hit the road with a stick she's so dumb i love her two cups of rice yeah and then she like measured the height so fucking good put it back what a dumb i love her while we were just fixing a mic issue i went and scrolled up and saw what the context was

for these questions because i was like maybe this is a new couple questions and it specifically it calls out if you've been in a relationship for a while and like don't like talking about sex i don't know it's like a month yeah who knows but still some of these i mean i'm gonna keep reading them there's five more but like it's some of these feel like you need to have asked this early early early on you know um but these were she this article is written after she's talked to sex experts so these are like to find sex somebody like really good at sex um a sexpert so the next one is what do you like to do after sex is over which we've talked about a lot yeah the the um the good word aftercare yeah the good word really is the good word i

need to spread the word um of cuddling after sex and having a nice little conversation yeah I like personally I like to debrief I like a little highlight reel yeah like what was your favorite yeah what was your favorite part of us fucking oh yeah here's my favorite do more of that I'm like in such a state of delusion after I have an orgasm that I it's I have such a hard time debriefing after sex don't talk to me no I'm just like no I'm like what like I'm like I don't know like what year it is your head's empty yeah beautiful I can't have a conversation it is nice to have i i mean i don't always have a mind-blowing orgasm but it's nice to have one oh absolutely like whoa you know have you ever had the experience we've probably talked about

this before where you are masturbating and you have like a very disappointing orgasm yeah you're like like all that for that yeah what the fuck was that like well that was a waste yeah like what a waste of an orgasm right the past 15 minutes of my life taking a long time you're like why is this taking so fucking long right it takes a long time and it's not good it's but life is full of little disappointments like that it's so true it's really just a lesson at the end of the day it's like when you order when you order something that sounds really good and then it sucks yeah or it's just like kind of mid yeah you're like wasting like like i don't want to waste calories mid-ass orgasm yeah anyway um the next question was what do you feel anxious

or insecure about right now that feels like another thing you should just be able to talk to your partner about yeah this see these are all okay questions but it's like why aren't most people asking these if the title of this article is correct are like our couples having conversations yeah do you do you talk to your partner it is very shocking how many people are in terrible relationships yeah i don't know it really is like anytime i open reddit it's like am i the asshole and then it's just like the most insane story about their boyfriend being totally like yeah terrible and awful to them yes or like am i overreacting yeah am i overreacting that's insane to read sometimes i'm like no you're not reacting enough you're underreacting you are severely

underreacting he should be in jail or ask women over 30 they'll be like ladies i'm 35 and my boyfriend is 39 and he said like and then it'll be like some insane bullshit and you're like what do you want to be living like this forever yeah right because if that's what you want then I guess stay in this relationship I think some people are just afraid to be alone yeah and that's not fair for me to judge because I like it took me getting to I don't know if this is similar for you but it took getting to a point of like complete safety in a relationship with someone that you're like very comfortable with to be like oh I would rather like not be like it's this or nothing yeah I would rather be alone than compromise for a relationship that isn't like this one

absolutely you know what I mean yes totally yeah and you have to like really I think go through the the ringer too to really learn what you're not willing to accept yeah yeah I think about past relationships and I'm like what the fuck was I thinking yeah I know I've said that before but I'm like I don't think I even really liked these men as people no I know I was thinking about that a lot you know what I was thinking about earlier today was that guy that I was dating that like was straight but like full-on made out with a gay man in front of me yeah remember that yeah that was insane I forgot about that and this guy like I never really like I was always kind of like embarrassed by him I'm like why did I date this guy for like eight months why did I date this

guy that made me cringe anytime i brought him outside of the house yeah that's exactly right like what hello why did i date this guy that all my friends hated yeah i had a lot of those and then they pull you aside and they're like listen yeah we have been waiting to tell you but this guy sucks and then you're like i'm not gonna listen to that that time doesn't matter because i can't read yeah exactly yeah um anyway i'm gonna blast through the last three of these because well the last four because okay i'm gonna skip over number 10 for now because it ties into my next talking tits okay so we're gonna go to number 11 what role does sex play in our relationship okay would you be open to talking about our experiences with sti testing insane fucking

question it's the same question talking about sti testing bitch yeah what do you mean you should have had this conversation before you had sex right you guys aren't having those conversations like that's it's like one of the first conversations yeah top of mind conversation and then this number 13 is do you like to be touched anywhere i don't know about another insane question hmm i don't hate that question no because it just feels like something that you should have already discussed i feel like well potentially yes but i feel i think that i'm thinking a few things here and no shade to men but a lot of them don't know what the fuck they're doing yeah real and some of them who maybe do know what they're doing maybe they

have only had like one or two partners they haven't had enough partners to understand that every woman's body is going to be different yeah and i think that men would also be more likely to not say like they want something touched like yeah touch my butthole or something like that like or i i think a man would be less likely to to feel comfortable asking for something yeah yeah that's fair and also like i mean i'm saying all of this like with i i do feel like there's a reality and a lot of people's reality is that like they just don't feel comfortable having these conversations with a partner period but like i think it's worth it to look at that for like what it is you know like why not because if it's like an internal thing then like you

there's there's work that needs to be done there or if it's your partner that you don't feel comfortable asking these questions to then like that's its own problem you know like these things should be discussed and not late in a relationship you know yeah like do you like to be touched anywhere i don't know about it's just like you should know all the places i like to be touched like into like a long-term sexual relationship like that should that shouldn't be a question that's like rare to ask and it just kind of makes me sad that it maybe is yeah anyway so number 10 was this which is going to lead me into my next thing have you experienced trauma that may impact our intimate moments together is the cue which then leads me to this newsweek headline scientists

has studied why women want less sex than men and they now have an answer oh isn't that interesting yeah obviously that's not like true for everyone but like the overwhelming amount of like male female relationships it is the case that the men want to have more sex when you know like depression could be a factor like all of these things could be a factor but as a whole they read into this so i'm going to read some of it i don't want to read this word for word but it is interesting um women have less desire for sex because of hormones evolution etc that's what they say but new findings have put paid to this myth arguing instead that early negative sexual experiences may play a key role in shaping women's interest in sex later in life the study led by

psychology researchers at canada's university of toronto mississauga uh exists the longest fucking name for a university examines why a perceived quote-unquote libido gap emerges between men and women during adulthood drawing on evidence from more than 300 scientific studies across psychology public health and related fields the researchers conclude that difference in desire are better explained by learning and experience than by hormones or innate sex differences there's a quote blah blah blah the review focuses on young adulthood particularly the period around ages 17 and 18 when many people in western countries experience major life changes including first love and first sexual experiences according to researchers this developmental window is

especially important because the brain is highly sensitive to learning from new experiences and they go on to say like when like the self-reported experience of your first sexual experience when men are talking about it they talk about it so differently from women where women are like oh my god it hurts so bad like i bled a lot like there's more like negative descriptors involved whereas like men are like oh it's a little awkward like i came too fast like the difference there and how it's discussed they're two totally different things rather than viewing the libido gap as biologically fixed the model traces it back to what the researchers describe as a pleasure gap between women and men during their earliest sexual

experiences this gap they argue is most pronounced at the very time when the brain is primed to form long-lasting associations um that's not surprising no orgasm reparations we really should get orgasm reparations i mean i feel like i am now but just date a good person and you'll you'll get your reparations um good people are good at sex that's so true that's so true and that's been scientifically proven because good people are hotter you know yeah just in general yeah and so i feel like they're just more fun to have sex with because you're like you're so hot a good person is empathetic and yeah that's very attractive and an empathetic person can be like oh i'm gonna i i care about my partner enjoying themselves yeah and experiencing pleasure uh-huh that's

so true and of course it's gonna be better and more fun yeah that's so true huh that's so true and i mean sometimes you encounter a man who is uh has like they're egotistical in the way that like getting you off is makes them feel very validated you know yeah they're they're proud of being like good at sex yes and they might not be a good life partner or uh they might not be a good person to date but it's okay for someone to just be good at sex and that's all you guys do you don't have a relationship together no you know those people have i wish i could go back and tell myself that yeah i now understand why older not like old women but women who are older than me of any age being like you shouldn't take your

boyfriend so seriously and you should go have fun yeah they more or less said go go have sex yeah go go fuck people yeah and now i get it yeah now i'm like oh i should have done that absolutely i shouldn't have been dating and i should have just been fucking absolutely i wish i did that more in college too I did a lot of that around the time that we created this podcast yeah I like Mr. Liz has said it was fun when you had a boyfriend of the week I know and I really did and I thought that each one was did you enjoy that I had so much fun I wish I had more of a slut phase it was very necessary I don't even want to call it a slut phase I don't feel like I don't like the negative connotation of slut no but like you know I was kind of leaning into

being a slut then a promiscuous phase where you're like figuring out what you not even figuring out what you do and don't like you're just having fun yeah honestly at that point like i would have fucked a lamp like i was so i was just like any port in a storm and it really it was good for me to do yeah it was great you had also spent a long time in a long-term relationship yeah exactly and i was so sad out of that so i was like i just need to fuck everything that breathes in my direction and i did and it was great and then i was abruptly done with it yeah it's like i need a boyfriend i'm sick of feeling sad i was on a mission to have kind of a slut phase and then i feel like i got robbed of having that because i met mr liz so early on my fist at the sky

gosh darn it mr live live what's your name hello elivabeth elivabeth um so anyway so that was that study uh that's and i thought it was really interesting i'm not either but i'm i'm see there's like been so many things that i've been reading that research has been going into that i read the headline and i'm like duh but it's still exciting to know that science is being put behind it you know yeah like i don't know there's more and more women in stem every year so real we love women in stem i love women as we have been saying um my last talking tit just the one just one this is the final tit it's the final tip i really thought you were gonna back me up on that thank you okay the headline the rest of the podcast is you just doing that in the background quietly

while you talk i love a background um okay the headline of this is heteroflexible is the highest growing orientation on field is this uh this is like the guy that you dated who was making out the man yeah i guess so except that was just for attention unquote which is weird that you kind of liked it i think more more men if they would be happier if they would just admit that they're bisexual yeah like absolutely they're need we need more bi guys yeah and bi guys are some of the best guys yeah but just yeah it would be so nice but i i feel like a bisexual couple where both people are bi would be an ideal scenario yeah because then you both get it you know yeah and you both had so like the world as your option and you still chose each other that's love that's

love that's really gorgeous okay so heteroflexible yes tell me more about this is this kind of like when people were like oh metrosexuality which was just like men brushing their teeth and like grooming yeah i mean it's it is so this is he's not gay he's metrosexual i i think that uh the term like metrosexual oh my god it's definitely homophobic absolutely wow that you really used to get thrown around yeah oh yeah it was a big it was a big phase yeah what what real quick before we get into this what was metrosexual to you like what what did a metrosexual guy look like it was like pink popped polos like with the collar popped and like well-groomed hair like preppy basically okay to me well where i was living metrosexual was a man with like groomed eyebrows

yeah and like groomed hair but especially the eyebrows they got their eyebrows waxed yeah for shirt yeah and um ed hardy and like tight jeans yes the eyebrows were like the lucky jeans yeah especially if they had the like um because lucky had those like fuck-ass jeans with like the embroidery and like true religions yeah yeah oh that's what i'm thinking of my ex-boyfriend used to wear true religions with like the dark wash with like white stitching yes yes yes and the fucking ed hardy shirt oh my god amazing my first boyfriend ever would always take me into true religion my brother had true religion jeans that was really a thing i had truly i loved my true religion i didn't have any true religion jeans well you worked at abercrombie so not at that

point oh i i wore a lot of um i wore american eagle jeans american eagle has always had great jeans yeah sydney sweeney oh as it passed down from generation to generation the american eagle the style of american eagle jeans i was i would get was called the artist and they were like super flared fuck yeah and very low cut we had so much pressure to sell jeans when i worked at american eagle oh so much you had to like really shove it in people's faces and you didn't make commission right no i'm like yeah fuck that for what yeah i was bad at my job though for the stakeholders obviously yeah hello um okay so i'm gonna read this because i haven't read the whole thing. I actually just found this right before you came over. So if you asked dating app and

content creator Terry R what his sexual orientation is, he'd say he's heteroflexible. If you responded quizzically, what's that? He'd go into detail what the word means to him. To me, heteroflexible means that under the right circumstances, the right place, time, person, environment, I would potentially have fun with someone of the same sex. Terry, who asked to use his first name only for privacy, told huff post which is wild for a content creator but yeah i view sex as something pleasurable intimate and connecting it's supposed to be fun he said as long as everyone has been tested boundaries are established and all parties are consenting adults i see no issue with that fair i think you're bi yeah or like uh men in the military have been doing this since when

yeah men in jail you haven't created anything interesting or new no but it is a fun word yeah you can just be bi or pan i spoke too soon the mostly the quote-unquote mostly straight messaging of heteroflexible works for him in a way that bisexual doesn't bisexual to me means you are romantically attracted to and would date or marry either sex he said heteroflexible means you are primarily attached to the opposite sex but under the right conditions you'd be more open to same-sex experiences for me it's strictly for fun nothing more well the word is sexual yeah bisexual yeah it's related explicitly to your sexuality and can include those other things like dating and romance right but it has the same idea right but whatever if you need your

own special term for bisexuality you know what have it terry good for you you can have that yeah who am i to judge we won't take it from you terry are when i i also think when most people say bisexual they mean pansexual yeah oh yeah they're like yeah whatever they'll have yeah anyway it's great there's a comedian whose joke I saw where he was like he he's pansexual and um he was saying like you know you go out for a night on the town looking for anyone so funny that is how it feels that's really funny it's just like I don't know whatever tickles my fancy yeah I can't put words to it I kind of love the idea of pansexuality it's like I don't love genders I love people yeah I love that yeah and I mean that I think that's how

a lot of bisexual people feel because yeah the word bi is just like very limiting to the two yeah the two uh you typical genders yeah but then you're like oh well yeah I'm not I don't feel picky yeah all day today them you know that's like how they feel you know it's like i don't know anyway um heteroflexible he's not alone in embracing the label i'm continuing on with the article now yes there was no transition into that he's not alone in embracing the label in its recent annual data deep dive field a dating app that brings itself open for open-minded individuals found that heteroflexible is the fastest growing sexuality on the platform the number of people choosing this label increased by 193 over the past fascinating not interesting

i am not entirely surprised that like kinky people would be a little bit more open-minded yeah and not have the right word for it to be like i don't seek out dudes but yeah you know if you're the right kind of dude yeah or if it's like a threesome like yeah exactly exactly um i'm skipping ahead a little bit here i don't want to read the whole thing but how does hetero flexible differ from all the other terms that are already out there by curious bisexual and pansexual and is there something a little queer baiting about hinting at queerness while aligning yourself with heterosexuality as some critics have claimed that's an i think that's an interesting question um just a long article i'm not gonna read this whole thing i feel like something is

only queer baiting when you're like doing it on purpose for the sake of attention to make yourself feel like yeah totally and i don't think a self-aware person knows that they're queer baiting or a not self-aware person you know yeah i know i knew it yeah yeah um it says here bisexuality and pansexuality are more fixed um and that was a therapist and clinical supervisor at the gender and sexuality therapy center i want to shake their hand bisexuality and pansexual hand have you seen that no what's that from it's a it's a video like i don't know when it's from but it's this guy yelling I want to shake your hand I think he's on an airplane but he's like trying to insult the person I don't know what the internet is there are so many I saw a

comment on a video of this person just like singing like a song about mango chutney in their kitchen and their partner was recording them doing it and one of the top comment was there are so many people in the world and it's so fucking true there's just so many like what do you mean what I love when I see something and then i have the reflection moment of like i i need to be doing more with my free will yeah oh yeah i am not doing enough i am being so uncreative with my free will we have so much free will we really do they want us to forget they want us to forget that they actively want us to forget anyway by making us uh do our dumb little jobs yeah our dumb little computer jobs so this article if you want to read it it's long um but it's on huffington post it's by britney

Wong uh and it was posted on April 3rd so if you have any interest in reading the rest of it please fascinating please I'm begging you do that so those are our talking I feel like I had another thought related to that but I can't really you know it's on the edge of my mind but we should do it next week because I need to actually like read about it because I was so busy when this all dropped was the like 63 million men that visited the online rape academy yeah it's a fucking insane i when i see things like that i get so fucking mad like yeah i like i had read that article and then mr liz came home and i was just like i just read this horrifying enraging thing yeah I mean it makes me want to break something yeah yeah like do you ever feel like you're gonna pop

like a bubble yeah you get so mad and you're like I just am gonna like explode yeah I think the most frustrating thing is like feeling like you can't do anything and seeing how I don't know seeing how terribly women are treated yeah i mean like i think the most troubling part of it in terms of my reaction to it for me was i wasn't mad i was like i just got this like overwhelming feeling of like helplessness it was like 63 million like what do you mean like yeah there's that many men that are wanting to figure out how to rape women with like undetected like yeah and how many of them are like doing it to their spouse yeah right and when I was talking to Mr. Liz about it I'm like you know obviously I know you would never do that right

but it makes me wonder like how many people do I know yeah like this could this could be someone that I work with you know this could be someone who is like somehow in your in your circle and you wouldn't even know yeah and that pisses me off yeah it's scary and it makes me feel really really helpless and we should dox every fucking one of them absolutely and punch them in the dick we should absolutely yeah there just needs to be more severe punishment genuinely i think there needs to be way more severe punishment for rape and sexual assault because then that would be good incentive to not do it yeah dick guillotine you know what really now you know what really i just realized this and now now i'm mad is remember when the t-app like the data breach of the t-app

and they released all those names oh yeah and that was so fucking unforgivable that these women are trying to ask for advice from each other meanwhile there were 63 million men undetected learning about how to rape a woman without getting caught is yeah it's like what's what the like what is happening and it's also like they weren't even like looking at any posts on the t-app because if you scrolled through it yeah most of it is uh should i be worried about this guy just a just a question like oh has anyone gone on a date with this guy yeah and not really and then there's like no comments or it'll be like yeah he was nice or it's like this guy is my friend's ex-husband and he abuses people and it's it's trying to find the it's trying to avoid the men that are like

on this fucking online rape course yes exactly those are the people that we're trying to avoid dating and there's only certain ways you can know that and it's by talking to each other the punishment for women like to talk to each other is so upsetting i don't know they just don't want women sharing information no and they never have that's why they like demonize gossip yeah like oh i'm sorry you don't have any culture with your little boys right when you think about like why is it so threatening for women to share information with each other yeah that's not like we're demonizing women for being like oh avoid this rapist but you're not demonizing men who are raping hey here's how you can rape women yeah and not get caught see that's why we need to up the

punishment for rape we also need like people that like hackers to like do a little more yeah like where did anonymous go like i know where they went there's a documentary about it they all got like unmasked but we need like an anonymous group to just do everyone a fucking solid and wreck these men's lives we need women in stem women in stem rise up i it's time to hack for good these people need to be more scared to be shitty people yeah there's just like you said there's like no incentive for them to be better people and the incentive needs to be i mean i think we should start tough with genital mutilation i think that's fair that feels like a good place and then we can scale it back you know no why why not go up from there we'll increase it you have to eat

it after we take off your dick okay you have to eat a dick pie and also of your own of your own penis yeah maybe you put in a blender when you eat other people's penises i don't know like i'm just like just go real like game of thrones with it yeah just very old school god fuck this shit dude i'm so it's so like i know that i mean a lot of people won't be i i do think genital mutilation is a bad thing and we are joking we are but i i think that we could tase their balls yeah at the very least and maybe your punishment is we tase your balls and maybe make you eat it but make you eat your taste balls your fried ball hair yeah no but actually no genital mutilation is bad but some people deserve bad things it's true and that is i would say that

the most prolific pedophile in american history is our president yeah and uh should be the first person we try it out on you know if we can find it sorry we don't shame itty bitty dicks unless they're attached to a bad person yeah anyway there's too many um I'm just gonna stop there yeah I'm just gonna stop there I think that's smart yeah it feels we can revisit that you can cut it all out and we can revisit it I'm keeping it in but we are going to revisit it next week because I want to do more research about it I was like on my little like escapism island this past weekend it was so nice beautiful it was so great I'm very

jealous and now i'm back to learning about the worst things in the world it makes me miserable me too anyways well liz has to go cook dinner for mr liz late night dinner late night din din all right do you want to sing us out you were just at coachella yeah oh my god i'm so ready sing it do it justin bieber and i'm a singer we love you our children nice you know alan specifically called out that he loves when you do drums oh background i'm like you actually listen that far in i feel like everybody turns off yeah everyone turns it off but you know i assume everyone turns it off if you're still listening

you a real one we should give some kind of incentive if you're still listening message us i heard it yeah and we'll we'll think of something give you a free month of patreon oh i like that no ads no ads early access free month of patreon if you listen all the way that feels pretty like to like doable yeah yeah yeah yeah also we we don't do it for the money on patreon to be honest no but we probably should all right we love you bye