The Hoely Hour - Where the F*ck is the Whimsey?

Episode Date: March 20, 2026

One of you cutie patooties wrote in asking us to talk about girlhood, and girlhood we talked about indeed. And we miss it. Also side note we were testing recording on Riverside again and safe to say that was a. mistake. Thank you for your patience with our sound issues :') Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I think it's funny that your webcam makes you super light and mine makes everything really dark. That's kind of just like a metaphor for us, I think, in general. You're like the dark angel. Thank you so much. You're so welcome. That means a lot to me. No, I know. And I meant every word. we're trying something different today y'all yeah we are recording using riverside again we're trying it again but in person in person last was that last week yeah last week we were recording remote on riverside and it was a little glitchy did you notice that It would, like, cut off some, like, the ends of some words. Yeah.

Yeah. So hopefully we can figure out how to stop that. But let us know what you think. Because this way I can get clips. We can maybe start putting these back on YouTube if this works out well. We'll see. We can make things easy. We can make editing easy.

Hopefully it's usable. And not that anyone cares, but on the editing end, it automatically transcribes everything. and you can edit through the transcription so you could just highlight the section you want to delete y'all we need things we need things to make this doing this a little bit easier for us we both got full-time jobs we need a a better version of a competitor to uh compete with riverside yeah if you're a software developer um there is a there's a gap in the market for podcast recording software a big one so when you become a billionaire don't when you become a multi-millionaire we need you could invite us over to your house there needs to be some overlap

between dudes with podcasts and developers right that seems like something that there would be a lot of overlap between you know what i realized is like not enough qa going into things if there is if there is a white man in a job there's a good chance that that white man has a podcast at that job because i'll tell you why i'm saying this i was doing some research on thyroids and endocrinologists and i found multiple podcasts by white men endocrinologists interesting talking about a ton of business podcasts yeah i i am curious to know how well these business podcasts do because i know that they exist but truly how many listeners do they have yeah you know like it makes the b2b marketing podcast it's interesting to think like how like

what the listener podcast ratio is like because there are thousands of podcasts so many and not everyone listens to podcasts so like what is the like listener to podcast ratio am i making sense yeah no you are making sense and i've wondered the same thing well anyway thanks for listening ours because there's a lot so that's pretty cool but you're choosing as well yeah almost six that's crazy that's kind of bananas if we had a baby it would be it'd be six years old almost be in first grade this podcast is almost a first grader it's bananas damn y'all are gonna start learning your multiplication tables soon does it feel like me and mr liz have been dating for six years when i think about it sometimes it feels like more and less at the same time that's how i feel about

frank it's so weird i'm like i feel like i just met you and i have known you for years yeah very weird yeah it does seem like you guys have been together forever even though you i didn't even have existed three years ago isn't that crazy that's insane when i was visiting my parents my dad was giving me a hard time about not being engaged yet like as a joke he was just like ribbing me and i was like i literally did not know about this person this time three years ago give me a break i am doing my best i am doing my best um so we got an email from somebody from one of you cutie patooties out there shout out to the cutie patooties absolute mage shout out to the listeners cutie patooties yeah well you're patootie yeah that's i think that's fine okay

because that's in my personal relationship that's true that's true so you're willing to share okay so this listener this cutie patootie said just finished listening to the pod and was thinking about topic ideas since you guys mentioned it first of all thank you so much we appreciate it we are fresh out of ideas we want to know what people want to listen to us yap about yeah um and then they continued on to say i was thinking about today about girlhood i've been seeing a lot of videos on tiktok about this is girlhood and it's a range of different things for different people but so talking about what things are girlhood for you guys and when you've experienced those moments of girlhood and if you get more serious about it talking about how these moments

of girlhood are springing up now as women are becoming mature adults because their actual youth was stolen away either by society or quote-unquote old soul maturity being thrust upon a lot of pre-teen slash teen girls as always i love listening to the pod and hope you lovely ladies are doing amazing we are but only because of your email i wasn't doing amazing until you wrote it's true um so I have been putting some thought into this and my question for you Elizabeth Ball is like when do you think that you stopped feeling like a girl and started feeling like a woman uh never same it the older you get I feel like every age all at once does that make sense yes and I don't think that's like unique to me but it is a feeling that I'm surprised by

I would be curious to ask like my mom like is there a point in your life where you felt like you had it figured out there's been a point in my life where I was confident I had it figured out but I didn't know anything yeah and there was no like I feel like a dumbass but there was like a piece of my brain that just wasn't plugged in until I was like 27 or 28 I think that that is kind of what is like what people consider to be like womanhood like when you start becoming like self-aware and like yeah and like strategic about your life you know there's like something that clicks and you are able to like understand things in hindsight and like feel more empathetic towards your past self and towards other people and situations or whatever but um what's i gonna say

I didn't have this like piece of logic of like how something would be accomplished I was just like confident it would happen yeah you know what I mean absolutely but there's just kind of like this state of delusion that I was in and it it was nice but also like not realistic and I do feel like I see people still living like that in our 30s where you're like how are you gonna connect the dots to make that happen yeah like when I was in college I was like I'm gonna move to LA and like do something in entertainment or like entertainment news and then I had like no plan of how that was gonna happen I'm glad that I didn't do that yeah I don't think it would have happened you never know and I like you're in entertainment now I literally cannot imagine

myself living in LA no no no me neither that was not that was not on brand that's so funny because I had the same dream of like being in entertainment and living in LA I think we were just like bound to cross paths eventually i think we were yeah in here in seattle to my college my very small college up north you know didn't you didn't go to la but we did work at the same we were going across paths but anyway that's not what we're talking about b2b firm who knew that b2b advertising would bring us together yeah girlfriend is working at a corporate job that is not what you dreamed of yeah that's what that's what webster says no but i yeah there was just like kind of this like I don't know how I'm gonna make this happen or like um like there was obviously a

very long time where I did want to have kids and that's not entirely off the table it's just like not a future I am foreseeing for myself yeah at this point but like even then it was just like I'm gonna have kids and name them cute names and like dress them cute and uh whatever like I I wasn't thinking about like how much time and money and effort goes into raising kids right of course about how expensive child care is well because yeah you don't have you don't have like all of the knowledge that you have now as an adult of like how expensive everything is and like just watching I don't know like watching your friends have kids or watching people just like even a few years older than you like trying to figure that out yeah I maybe I would have had that

perspective earlier on if I had like an older sibling yeah but being the oldest sibling and being kind of like delusional I feel like I just figured out some things kind of late yeah you know what I mean yeah but in terms of like actual girlhood I do I do kind of think about this like I would say like a few times a month of just like if something from my childhood like pops up and i'm reflecting on it i think about how like now preteens don't have any media they don't have magazines they don't have shows and movies like do you remember like movies that were for preteen and teenage girls yeah like sleepover yeah that was a fun movie like all the decoms yeah yeah but like lizzie mcguire like did you know lizzie mcguire i think

lizzie mcguire was only two or three seasons wasn't that crazy season yeah and it had that big of a cultural impact on pre-teen girls yeah like and there's just no more media that is like that and like like pre-teen girls are like using drunk elephant skincare yeah which is bonkers um and we had like lip smackers yeah and claire's oh my god i loved claire's did you ever get any the makeup from Claire's no I mean like I didn't really wear makeup until like high school I was obsessed with makeup I don't think that comes as a surprise that's like transcended my and my mom would like not want me to wear makeup she would like she was like oppressive about it and um I wish that she hadn't been I wish she had let me be creative and more exploratory with makeup

because her trying to take it away from me and hide it from me um just made me want to do it more but also like i don't know like she could have handled it better um i also think my mom grew up in the midwest not in las vegas where i grew up and she also grew up at a different era so she's like yeah i was outside playing with my friends i wasn't fucking putting on makeup yeah i don't think she put on makeup until maybe she was in high school but I also think like as a mom watching like her daughter grow up yeah you don't want to see your like 11 year old daughter like start putting on makeup and I think in her head it's like I don't want my daughter to look older because like when you're an adult you know how fucking weird adults are yeah you know yeah so

like you don't want her like she didn't want you to like grow up too fast yeah yeah exactly so I can understand that perspective but like for me it wasn't like I was trying to look older I was just like there was something like artistic and fun about it and she had um since she was a librarian she had like all of these books and she was a librarian at I think at every like high school middle school I don't know I don't think she was ever an elementary school librarian but she would have a lot of books and like I have an older cousin who she would like get books for and she got um the bobby brown like it was a bobby brown makeup book i actually had my mom got one for me too eventually because i kept she would hide it in her room and i would like sneak in and go like

look at like how these girls were doing their makeup my god it's kind of weird that she was hiding it but it was just like it was makeup tips on like how to like make your makeup look natural and like pretty and um I I like loved that book but um I remember in fifth grade one of my friends was wearing blue eyeshadow and I was like Hannah was wearing blue eyeshadow to school today and she's like well I'm not Hannah's mom and I'm like let me put on some shitty Claire's eyeshadow yeah the stupid little sponge yeah so yeah that did feel like a different time I mean I'm sure that there are still parents that don't want their kids to like experiment with makeup but it did feel like around the time that we were growing up was around the time that chat rooms

and like scary men in chat rooms were becoming a thing and like predators online there's like a local news story about like your kid is being preyed on yeah meanwhile i'm like using aol instant messenger to like message my crush right who is my age right but like you know that's so scary as a parent to be like well yeah they don't have anything to compare it to and also like these kids parents probably thought that they were just online messaging their crushes and they're talking to like some like 50 year old man like washika or whatever you know what i mean like it doesn't it it kind of makes sense to me that like we grew up in a time where parents were like like you have to like cover up your shoulders in school you have to like make sure your knees

aren't showing you have to like and it was oppressive and and gross honestly obviously like for especially for schools to be like you don't want to distract the boys you know but also as from a parent's perspective it's like no you don't want to be you don't want your child to be perceived in a way that is dangerous to older men yeah you don't want it's being pumped in their ear holes like at all times yeah it's i think it's a tough position to be in yeah it's like yeah i think that my growing child should be able to wear a tank top right especially like we grew up in the desert it was so fucking hot and i had to wear these like fuck ass long shorts yeah Bermuda shorts yes oh my god ugly these stupid long shorts and then yeah you can't wear a tank

top I'm like okay well it's hot as hell yeah and we all smell now yeah I remember okay this is peak girlhood speaking of girlhood I am wearing my Hilary Duff metamorphosis concert shirt just for the occasion yeah just for the occasion I lit I've had this since I was in sixth grade that's a banger of a shirt yeah yeah and she's got so i'll describe it for you guys um it says hillary duff at the top it's a baseball shirt too so it's white with black sleeves hillary duff at the top um metamorphosis and in the middle is uh like her with a bunch of eye makeup on and her like bangs are in her eyes remember those bangs yeah yeah i so this is a shirt i got it was very my very first concert was hillary duff metamorphosis um and we were super close like uh it was for my

childhood friend's birthday so she we're still friends she's like a family friend you know like your parents are friends and you do everything all the family activities together so um she took me to the concert with her and i got this shirt i can't i know she got a shirt but i can't remember what it was and i'm really glad that like i never got rid of it because it's like iconic and it like really held up too like i never wore it my first concert was american idol on tour and i was like the biggest clay aiken fan ever and i got a clay aiken t-shirt and i slept in it every night not every night i had britney spears shirt that i i loved i know i had like like she got arrested she did she got a dy like last week i know but honestly it's good that she got arrested

I'm glad she didn't hurt anyone in the process, but she really needed to be reined in. Well, so I was thinking like a lot of like the good things about girlhood has kind of continued on into womanhood for me. And then a lot of the bad things about womanhood I was experiencing in my girlhood. And I think that that is something that little girls are like, you don't, you're not aware that it's happening. It's just kind of like a societal thing that is thrust upon you. like for example the good stuff is like being a little delusional you know like yeah it's so

peaceful when you don't know how evil things are yeah like the community-based aspect too of being a girl like i feel like some of that you lose some of that when you hit like middle school high school when like your friends kind of all start like hating each other but like i like i loved like having sleepovers and like you know like big summer parties with my friends and like playing American Idol like at the sleepovers you know like like that kind of shit I'm so happy it's still kind of in existence in my adult years you know like having girls nights like we have like arts and crafts nights with our friends you know we have like that's the shit that like really keeps me going I feel like my friendships now are more meaningful than they were when I was growing up

absolutely and I don't know there's just something that was like I always wanted like a super close best friend and I fee I don't know if my experience was normal but I didn't really like have that like um I had friends I was close with but they would kind of cycle through yeah um they changed like not every year but I think it changes based on like who's in your class you know in elementary school sometimes you're in the same classes as like kids who were in your class the previous year or you're at least at the same school you know whereas like then when you go to middle school you have multiple you for the first time you have multiple teachers and you're like going to different classrooms and then in high school it's a whole new ball game yeah

totally that's true it really does change like circumstances kind of determine who your friends are I was really lucky growing I've had the same like lifelong best friends since I was four and then my middle school friends are still like my group of there's five of us are still some of my closest friends today that's wild to me that you're still friends with people you're friends with in middle school well it didn't like through college we all kind of like we would talk here and there but we weren't like talking a lot and then after college we all just got really close again like it just kind of like life just kind of happened I think one thing that probably helps that is like you're you like grew up here yeah totally the you know yeah you like move back home

and then people that you grew up with are still here yeah whereas like for me uh no one really kind of like no one's like really moving back to Las Vegas you know yeah there's a few people who just never left um have you had this experience where like uh you'll be you'll remember someone from like high school or something and you're like oh I wonder what they're up to yeah or like you or even from college um and you you're like I wonder what they're up to or like maybe you cross paths again and they get weird oh yeah they've gotten real weird yeah it to me it's bizarre how like you never know you never know like someone could be totally normal in college and then like a few years later they're super weird yeah i mean their brain chemistry will kind of

start to like settle into who they really are yeah yeah it's well i don't know there's one there's one person i'm thinking of and i'm like it's like night and day you're like two different people i there are a few boys that i had a crush on in high school and middle school that i think it's more likely to happen to men yo for sure i'm weird yes absolutely no offense boys but slide into my dns like now and be like i remember when you had a crush on me in middle school and they're like strange now it's like it was middle school like they're like holding on to those days you only had like 11 years of life yeah like you weren't weird yet right it's all very anyway so so then the the pieces of womanhood that I feel like we were kind of forced to experience in

girlhood was like being super self-aware and like being like just knowing that you're being like perceived at all times I think that I realized that when I was like 10 which is like really young to be to be aware that there are eyes on you you know or like that like how you're dressed matters how you carry yourself in public matters like in terms of your own safety like those kinds of things is that's like obviously very necessary for a young girl to know i didn't that that was not happening for me at what age do you think that's happened for you because it's like oh i might be unsafe yeah uh way too late well obviously i'm glad you didn't have to experience that so young maybe like in college but oh i was gonna say i don't know i grew up very sheltered

like yeah not in like a i didn't grow up sheltered in like a religious way like i grew up sheltered in that like i grew up in las vegas so you're you're surrounded by bizarre shit all the time you know and my parents are trying to protect me from a level of that um but i think in doing so and like i think i think in an attempt to protect your kids like sometimes that ends up being worse for them because then when they are adults and they enter the real world the the horrors of reality are very shocking and upsetting. Like it's, it has been hard for me to kind of like adjust and like learn what, what actually happens in the world and with adults. And I think that, yeah, they, they were definitely trying to protect me, but they, there were some

things where they could have just been more honest with me. Um, and it would have given me more awareness like this this is I mean this might be triggering for some people I had a friend who told me about like um a family member who molested her yeah and I was like did you tell your parents like like my thought wasn't to be like I'm gonna go tell my mom and that's a situation where my mom should have like I wish my parents had been like if you have a friend who tells us about like something bad that's happened to them it's okay to tell us yeah like and that just didn't make sense in my head like because nothing like that had ever happened to me like yeah it wasn't happening to my other friends i like didn't know that that was a thing like that happens to little

girls i i just right i don't know i mean like how blissful to like not know that these things are happening around you yeah or to know that some people have bad parents yeah like that was also shitty to learn growing up is like some people have bad parents um and now it makes sense why like i wish my parents had explained like i like i don't know if your parents did this but my parents are like no we're meeting their parents before you stay the night there and i'm like you're being so embarrassing yeah my parents yeah and that's totally normal like my friend's friend my friend's parents also did that yeah like yeah we want to meet the parents that you're staying the night with because adults are creeps right and my parents didn't explain that to me

i wish they had explained to me like well we want to make sure you're safe because not everybody has good parents yeah you know just like little things like that were your parents ever like if you if your friends show you a gun have did they ever have that conversation i'm sure they did that a conversation is so like it's so at the top that does ring a bell yeah because like also during that time i remember hearing story like news stories of like uh unlocked gun in the house kid accidentally shoots their sibling or like something horrifying these news stories i remember when i was growing up the most i was thinking about this the other day the most terrifying earth-shattering dramatic news story that i heard when i was a kid was that a kid jumped on their

bed and there was a pencil on their bed and it lodged into his heart i yeah it like got and he couldn't pull it out because they had to like do surgery around it what are the chances i thought that this is something that happened every day like leeches you know what i mean or like quicksand these are things we grew up thinking were like always going to happen and this pencil story fucking shook me to my core so then when i started like hearing about like shootings like school shootings and like knowing that those things were going on and people were having like guns in their house and like you know they were going off accidentally I was like wait like what like I thought that like the most dangerous thing was a pencil on the bed and like living that kind of

existence like it's so sad to look back on that and be like I had no idea how like how good I really had it then not being aware of how horrible everything is yeah you know what I mean yeah so like I feel like like I said at like 10 I start to really be aware that like things are dangerous and like the people around me are dangerous and I have to like really think about it but I also had clinical anxiety from when I was nine years old just thinking as a kid yeah I was in therapy yeah I don't think I wasn't an anxious person until I was an adult and even then I like managed it totally differently right especially yeah differently than how a kid would manage it and the things that gave me anxiety as a kid was being constipated yeah I had a problem with

constipation when I was younger and my stomach would hurt so bad. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and my stomach would hurt so bad that I'd wake up my parents and my mom would sit in the bathroom with me and I'd be shaking and my teeth would be chattering. And it wasn't because I was cold. It was because I was so wound up and anxious and you can't poop. And one time I threw up because i was yeah right of course i felt terrible and then i'd be exhausted the next day i think we i think i stayed home one day after because i was we were up all night you poor thing your first your first thing that stopped happening and now it's kind of the opposite right i was gonna say it was your first little like taste of ibs yeah yeah well they brought

me to the doctor and i remember the doctor saying so your parents told me tell me you have little rabbit poops that's so like thinking about how doctors used to talk to us as kids is so fucking funny like oh yeah and speaking of rabbits I feel like I've been compared to a bunny my entire life like when I'm reflecting on it like um there was that the little rabbit poops and then when I was a teenager and I had to get braces when I got them off I don't know if I've talked about this two of my teeth are veneers um they're not like the they're lumineers so it's a really thin piece of porcelain that is on top of my tooth so I did not shave down my tooth okay so like replaced every so often no wow any issues with them it's the two next to my like two front top teeth

but um don't they look good yeah I had no idea my I guess my teeth were like a little small compared to the rest of my teeth um so my dentist and my orthodontist like share patients and they planned on leaving spaces so they could give me lumineers and my mom was like what the fuck and then she's like fine i guess we'll do that but the dentist was like i bet people say you look like a bunny and i was like actually no one has said that you know funny thing is this one yeah yeah but he had a thick like texas accent it's like i bet people say you look like a bunny i'm like actually no one has said that except for you thank you what's the name of the hunter looney tunes uh elmer fudd yeah never mind he doesn't sound like elmer fudd who's the oh

longhorn oh yeah yeah yeah that's how that's exactly what he sounds like um i do presume i do declare i do declare uh and then i had another friend who was like i just imagine you as a brown bunny with a white tail that's honestly it's nice to be compared to a bunny i think yeah you know the worst things my dentist my orthodontist told me that I would look like a horse if I didn't have all of the teeth removed that I did I had like six teeth removed permanent what did you have extra teeth I had too many teeth for my mouth that's amazing they were like if we strain out your teeth you're going to look like a horse I'd much rather look like a bunny um well you don't look like a horse thank you so much I got so many teeth removed to make sure I

didn't some other girlhood things that I that are just like coming to mind as we talk about what was your experience like getting a first bra i got my first bra at victoria's secret with my best friend growing up um and her mom and uh i was so fucking excited first bra with your own mom no we went so my first real bra i got with my mom but like my first training bra i got with my friend your experience of of like girlhood and like becoming a woman was like yay hooray yeah mine was like shame yeah shame do not tell anyone anything hide yeah that is kind of what it sounds like we had two entirely different experiences which is so bizarre yeah and here we are yeah on our sex podcast you couldn't shame me out of that i mean yeah there was it was just the catholic

way for sure and my mom went to catholic school and it scared the catholic out of her so i think that that's why i had that specific experience too and also i was the youngest so my mom had very devout catholic parents i hope they're listening yeah and they are loving her they're appalled religious podcast yeah well i don't know if you had other thoughts around that your first bra oh my first bra right i mean it was just a training bra i don't think it was anything really i remember getting my first song victoria oh well yeah i remember my first song too i think it was pre-pink i don't know when pink was established but maybe it was early pink it was like the younger side of Victoria's Secret had training bras I think pink I do remember pink being around

in middle school okay the very least so and I'm a couple years older than you yeah how much older am I than you how old are you I'm 34 I'm turning 33 in June okay yeah I was like I know I'm like a year and a half yeah yeah um yeah no it wasn't anything special it was like very much so I wore a lot of like um shelf bras like in my like camis growing up like so i always felt like i had a bra but my friend that i grew up with um that i got my first bra with she was like very ahead of the curve on everything she like got her period way earlier than she had a sister no she had two little brothers yeah but she like she got her period before me she had boobs before me she was like she was ahead of everything so like she was really excited to go with me to get my first bra

um and i thought up until that point like i did i was wearing bras because i had like the shelf bras in my shirt so i don't know it wasn't like very like remarkable but i do remember getting my first exciting about you well okay first bra situation i just remember i like i was just so embarrassed and ashamed of like puberty yeah oh it was horrible and i think my mom just like bought a few training bras and gave them to me I do remember every time my mom tried to sit down and talk to me about the birds and the bees or what would happen to my body I'd be like get the fuck out of my room do not talk to me about this woman yeah um so her solution was to just buy a few books and leave them on my bed and I did read them there was one that was really dense

and i was like i'm not reading that um but my favorite my favorite and maybe you had this one too i keep talking about american girl because it just has such a special place in my heart keeping of you yeah the care and keeping of you the body love that shit that was how my mom told me that the easter bunny doesn't exist she put it in my easter bunny basket and i was like why how does the easter bunny know these no she was just i was like how did the easter bunny know that i got my period i was way too old to be believing in the easter bunny i believed in the easter bunny I think until like second grade um that feels like that feels fair I was because I called I clocked my mom I was really sick um I had yeah I had a terrible stomach bug that year and then

she got me this like little makeup bag but she put other stuff in it like lip smackers or whatever um and I was like mom I don't think these your bunny is real and she's like why and I was like i saw that at target and she was like maybe the easter bunny shop together she was like don't tell your brother that's so funny all right that's really funny um but yeah first bra that's kind of all i remember i my first real bra i did not have until high school because and i don't think my mom honestly i don't think anybody really knew i was like your friend like i have big boobs yeah and they were they've been big ever since they've grown right yeah i got my period in fifth grade that shit sucked um i i remember like when i learned about periods i was shook

i was like a friend my hillary duff friend told me that you get your period she was like yeah you're gonna bleed out of your vagina and i was like what do you mean what are you saying right and then she's like I'll show you a book and then we like hid in like their uh it's called I don't know if other people called it this it's called the bonus room it's like yeah oh yeah we were hiding behind the couch in the bonus room she shows me and I was like oh yeah it was yeah frightening to learn about upset about that yeah literally frightening and then I remember asking my mom like I had to build up the courage and I was like mom when did you get your first period and then she just seemed like amused and she's like when i was 13 i was like okay i have

some time no i did not have time i got my period probably a few months later thank god she told you about it then because you would have been like what the fuck is happening i know well yeah i think i would have eventually not i don't know i thought i had some i was like okay i'll at least be a little bit well i have some time before i get my period and the thing about elementary school getting your period they don't have any of those like they don't have somewhere you could throw away your pad they don't have a little sanitary box yeah and that sucked uh and I mean I guess the only good thing is like your period's inconsistent so you don't get it every month but I was just like fuck and I remember in fifth grade is also when we had like they

separate the boys and the girls and they like show them different things about their bodies changing and I remember all the fifth grade girls being brought into the lunchroom and they pulled down the projector and they're showing us this like cringe ass like skit about getting your period and stuff and I just put my head down because I was like fuck I already have my period yeah and I remember another girl already had her period in a different class and like everybody thought she was so cool and I was just like that's so funny yeah and I didn't want anybody to know I had my period yeah that's interesting uh and then even though you saw that people were treating her like that you're still like I don't want people to know I don't know other girls just had kind of

like a a pride about girlhood and puberty yeah and I did not I was just like ah oh all this to say about bras um I didn't have like a real bra I was just wearing like sports bras and I would layer bras to just push them down and I remember one of my gay friends he was like that's what lesbians do i was like okay well i do it because i don't want anybody to see my boobs yeah i would wear a sports bra and then a cami over it and i remember going to a doctor for a physical before like you had to get a physical before you could go to summer camp and i remember her being like like lifting it up and being like what the fuck's going on here that's so sad i was just so embarrassed that i was like mom can we go get a real bra and she was like oh my god yeah we'll go get you a

real bra i think she was just waiting for me to like tell her i needed a bra oh oh i remember what i was gonna say do you remember smelling bad yes um my mom my mom is like she's a little crunchy like she loves rfk jr i'm just gonna say that um and i think it's because my mom has had some medical trauma in her life so like i think people who love rfk jr they've experienced some kind of health issue that hasn't been acknowledged or taken care of or researched enough so they don't feel like they can trust the medical industry because like i do think that america the american health care system fucking sucks yeah and there are things that are over prescribed that like you don't need yeah um and doctors would say the same thing yeah and like some of them get kickbacks for

like prescribing certain medications yeah um there's a really good john oliver about um medical sales reps you have to watch it like because they really show up wearing lab coats or whatever they like feed the whole office you know so that like you know schmoozing schmooze so that doctors prescribe the drug that they're pushing yeah yeah it is fucked up so and i think all that is very valid but i think that like the faith in rfk jr to like change things whereas like he's doing the same fucking thing he gets kickbacks for shit that's gonna kill you he vaccinated his kids yeah he vaccinates his kids like yeah he doesn't give a fuck yeah uh he's not the right person to challenge the american health care system but anyways um this looks like a leather couch

but that's neither here nor there my mom was a little crunchy and bought like as uh not aspartame um aluminum free deodorant yeah for a developing teenager yeah that shit doesn't work i remember one day in class it was hot so i was using this deodorant it was apricot and um in class i caught a whiff of this like terrible stoink i was just like what is that smell and then i realized the smell was me i smelled like a cheeseburger with an apricot on top no ew yeah and like you can't like you know your your body's just sweating yeah because you're a teenager yeah your hormones are like what okay and then i went home and i was like mom can we get some real deodorant and then because i i think i asked her immediately and she was just like yeah we will but she must have known

i smelled right i mean she was the one that gave you that fuck ass deodorant yeah she's like yeah we'll get you some real deodorant like honestly good for her for trying to keep you healthy though because that the shit that is in these products yeah oh scary yeah it's a little bit scary tell about your first thong i know we've talked about this before i i we got it was like a same same friend that i was with buying the bra and we were at victoria's secret with her mom again and it was like a five for seven dollars one of those things like get five underwear for seven dollars so she was like okay you guys can both pick out five pairs of underwear and we both snuck one thong in there and we thought we were being so her mom probably knew yeah you know yeah and whatever

but like we thought we were being so we were like oh my god I snuck a thong then I would like hide it from my mom my mom wouldn't give a fuck yeah and your mom's doing your laundry right what did I think I was doing like I don't even I think I would like put like take my pants off and like with and then like hide my underwear in there and throw it in my hamper like I didn't have the wherewithal to understand she's gonna see it but I thought I was like I thought it was like the most scandalous thing in the world was having a thong and to this day I hate thongs I hate thongs and i think it's because i've always had wider hips and so i just like i wedgies are the most if i have a wedgie i cannot focus on anything else i only like thongs if i i don't know i like

i i i can do a thong when i'm wearing jeans when i am wearing um yoga pants but i don't know i don't love thongs yeah well okay but thinking about that too like the scandal with pink and like lex wexner being a fucking creep is it lex what wex less wexner less wexner yeah less wexner being a fucking creep ass yeah that's not what i was thinking about no like it's not i don't know i think that's the thing that sucks too i do think it's very interesting watching people have these conversations about how like with the epstein files people are finally having these like big conversations around pedophilia and how fucking creepy a lot of dudes are like yeah especially rich men are you serious like rich men feel like they can do whatever the

fuck they want because they have money yeah oh i mean i mean up until this point they've been able to do whatever the fuck they want nobody's ever they don't have people around them telling them know yeah and I appreciate that the people who are having these conversations are people who hadn't like they otherwise would have never really realized or thought of this like they know pedophiles exist but they don't realize like how like not severe but just like how common it is so it's too common we have there's this mindset or something I don't know if this is just like from television there's just this idea that pedophiles are reprimanded and they're not no they're not reprimanded they rarely are yeah no and and when they are it's like they get like

probation for a year and they have to like register yeah they rarely see any real consequences yeah um and like it's also interesting seeing people finally having conversations about body hair yeah um i remember us having this conversation like when we started this podcast and it being like a fresh idea that like the expectation for women to shave their body hair is rooted in pedophilia yeah it fucking is yeah i'm glad other people are realizing it absolutely and i also think like younger people are they're starting to have these conversations because i need to remind myself like we were having this conversation six years ago yeah and think about like you know how young someone was six years ago yeah they could have they could be like 18 and now they're like

having these realizations and conversations with each other it's fucking crazy so i feel like we're seeing another wave of like feminism on the rise if they were 18 when they first started listening to this podcast they're 24 now isn't that kind of crazy that is crazy whoa well okay so i made a list or i have a list of things that like i feel like we lost in the shift into womanhood that i think we should bring back delusional confidence yes like thinking that you're the hottest person everywhere you go I remember I mean I started to feel ugly eventually but like I remember when I was like 11 I was like oh like Joe Jonas is gonna see me and he's gonna fall in love with me I love that shit that's the best I totally had those moments where you're like I'm gonna go

to this water park in Dubuque Iowa and a famous guy's gonna see me yeah and he's gonna be like who's that 11 year old in that red swimsuit yes we should bring that delusional confidence back should we not yeah we should we should um for me it was uh oh fuck i'm trying to remember his name now billy something he had like he was like a one-hit wonder and he was like our age it was an age-appropriate crush to have oh and like aaron carter ryan cabrera jesse mccartney uh jesse mccartney fucking best i was fucking obsessed with shane west growing up from a to remember obsessed with him. I had a signed picture that my dad got on eBay for me. I was obsessed with him. Okay. Another thing we should bring back being fully excited about things like

crushes and plans and outfits. I think that when I had a crush on someone, it ruined my life, but like you still, you know, like when you started riding your bike, you were like, I love this feeling of like, if I feel like I have a crush. Oh yeah. Yeah. And like, that's a good ass feeling oh my god you just unlocked a memory for me in seventh grade seventh grade I feel like was when I really like I shined in seventh grade I had many crushes uh boys liked me hell yeah that hasn't happened yet I like well I had a big eyeliner phase I think that was something I forgot to say like I would wear so much eye makeup I I still to this day I love eye makeup you guys like yeah it's just kill it with the eye makeup i love eyeshadow eyeliner especially

i was wearing liquid eyeliner in high school you you can tear my liquid eyeliner from my dead cold hands like it's really impressive that's why you're so good at it now because listen every day i say this regularly every day i don't know what's gonna happen when i put on liquid eyeliner that's fair um today it turned out pretty good it does look very good and i don't wear as much as i used to but before that i would like line my eyes with black eyeliner like i was trying to do what hillary duff is doing on my shirt like that was a daily look for me and that was the look of the times and my hair was straightened with like the cheapest worst hair straightener your and you my god ends crackle uh-huh dried wet to straight i didn't have that

oh my god i love mine oh and i remember getting my first chi and i was like this fucking rocks yeah oh my god I loved my chi I still I have a chi I only had to replace my last chi because I dropped it and uh part of it cracked so I couldn't like use it it's it's it still worked I used it as long as I could and then eventually I was like all right I'm burning my fingers off whatever chi did with their marketing really worked because everybody wanted a chi well like when you when I would get my hair cut and yeah the stylist is using a chi and you're like this looks so good yeah this is so much better than my like fucked up wet to straight yeah my shitty like clunky yeah uh hair straightener um oh anyways this memory that you unlocked i so i

just started seventh grade and one of my friends uh she like i lived near the middle school in high school so we would walk home um but we would walk she lived like a little bit further down from me so she would walk to my house after school with me and then um she would get picked up from my house oh nice yeah so she didn't have to walk as far by herself i had someone to walk with um and this there was like a kid i had a crush on and i was just like having one of those delusional little daydreams where i was like i'm gonna be like shut up at my house and he fucking did uh two two boys that were like skater boys in my grade they show up at my house while i'm having this little fucking delusional daydream listening to like blink 182 or whatever on my cd player

and i opened the door and it's like the two guys and the one i had a crush on was like is your friend here and i was like no and they're like does she live here and i was like no i live here they were like heartbreak okay well because the other friend had a crush on my friend oh so he was thinking that he was like let's go let's just like like they must they must have followed us yeah I didn't even think about that they must have saw where I lived but I was just like oh my god they showed up in my house but that kind of opened the door for now we're like talking and flirting in class my god i was a big note passer too oh i should have brought them my mom recently sent me like my mom's like getting rid of a bunch of shit uh and i love that for her i wish i could

do that um she sent me this box that had all of like the notes my friends and i would pass back and forth in middle school and high school that is i love that she kept those yeah yeah that's so cute i had been like going through them a little bit um like a few months ago and they are pretty funny one of them though okay my one of them like i think i just learned about abortion and i like had seen like abortion propaganda like anti-abortion propaganda and i was like abortion's bad everyone deserves a birthday and then i like had written that in a note to my friend and she was like I don't know I think it's more complicated than that that's really funny we're like 12 or 13 yeah that's like a really like complex thought for

her to have had though well reflecting on it now I wouldn't be surprised if her mom had like had an abortion and told her about it yeah yeah maybe but I mean she's really fucking cool so I was thinking about that the other day I'm like it it is fun when someone you were friends with in middle school like grows up to be like really cool hell yeah and I hope that I also grew up to be cool I think I think you're really cool I think I was deeply uncool yeah yeah for a long time I was looking at I remember when I was like 11 and 12 I was like I don't think I'm gonna have an awkward face and I like look back on bad pictures like that was awkward yeah I was in my awkward face yeah I had the same delusional confidence oh let's go back to your list sorry okay um I just

love this conversation great recommendation from the listener I feel like I want to have like another episode about this because I think we can keep talking about yeah girlhood girl this is girlhood part one um not over analyzing every interaction that happened I mean I don't do that anymore but I do feel like that was the shift out of like peak girlhood was like over analyzing every single conversation I had with people like my peers that's me as an adult do you still do that yes there there is something inside of me that thinks that I'm like deeply unlikable oh my god yeah I'm working on it okay good because you are so likable I think it's because I spent so long like not having any self-awareness and just being like I am the main character I am always

the victim I can do no wrong yeah and then like I don't know you grow up you grow up and you go to therapy and you like reflect on things and you're like oh my god right I must have traumatized a lot of people yeah yeah I mean sure I like I think that that shift into having self-awareness no matter when it happens is like a little traumatic so like I feel like my shift into self-awareness was a like over like 10 years of my life and I had that kind of experience where I was like they're just being friends with me to be nice like that's that was like a thought that I had you know often like am I a charity case you know what I mean yeah like that's how that's how shifting into self-awareness felt. So I guess it makes sense that you realizing you having this new

self-awareness in the past few years would kind of be hitting you in that way. You're a very likable person though, so that is not founded. I still overanalyze interactions I have with people and I'm like, oh my God, why did I say that? I think a lot of people do. It haunts me though to an abnormal degree. I can't get rid of it until I tell my therapist because I'm like, I can't stop thinking about this interaction I had and she's like well what what's concerning you about it like I'm like I don't know I just don't know why I said that and she's like we'll just discuss like okay well what would you think in that situation I'm like I wouldn't think twice about it yeah right that's the thing I think when I realized that I whatever somebody does

something embarrassing or says something embarrassing around me I think about it for maybe five seconds and then I never think about it again and so I'm like oh that's right when mr liz was telling me about the like completely like unselfaware person sitting next to him on the plane i was like maybe i should be less self-conscious yeah this woman doesn't give a fuck no and i mean there's a fine line incredibly rooted and titled yeah but i it like she's gonna go on the rest of her life like being unbothered i want to be unbothered i want to be like i did say a weird thing and i don't really care yeah absolutely i can't let this hold me back no no I think being online being making videos kind of helped me get out of the yeah because it's like

I post something and like maybe like four million people see it you know what I mean and it's like I probably said some really dumb shit in there and they probably will never think about it again about this podcast sometimes I'm like well because I'll think about when we first started the editing was bad and I had some takes that I probably still wouldn't agree with right and like oh that's embarrassing people will look back on the year and be like oh that was 2020 they probably don't think like that anymore and then they'll i hope so get mad about something that matters you know what i mean hopefully hopefully i mean people get mad about shit that doesn't matter all the time it's kind of it feels like performative outrage that's it that is

100% what it is for a lot of things like the timothy chalamet thing i was gonna say that but i didn't want to be the one to say it like y'all don't really care that much no like when was the last time you went to a ballet or an opera yeah and also he said that in 2019 i know i'm like we're bringing up shit from 2019 okay it's just so unserious every everything everything today is like the oscars and like boo his timothy chalamet i'm like yeah whatever i didn't care about his shit before and i like i don't care about it now no and like i'm gonna watch dune who gives a fuck like really like honestly like okay that's you know i feel bad for like people in the ballet and opera community but like they're probably like that a lot of people actually don't

you know like people don't appreciate opera and ballet as much as they should that's not a new thought that people have and again my criticism of like not enough people maybe caring about ballet and opera i'm gonna blame the rich because rich people used to do cool shit with their money yeah like open theaters and like fun stuff like this yeah what and now the rich are just making uh boring tech apps that nobody wants and they spy on you like it it really it really does make me like i get so because there's so much shit to care about these days there's so much shit that deserves our attention and outrage and people are mad about that it's just like i see these takes online and i'm just like y'all don't care that much yeah you just you just don't and

it's just like a string of words that they put together and you're like it just feels like they're they're reaching without stretching yeah you know i'm like that's a big jump like um another thing that i that felt like a mass psychosis was uh like i still don't think taylor swift's latest album is very good and that's just me you know i do i do still think some of those songs they're fun yeah you know i like them absolutely um that doesn't mean i'm like wow this is like lyrical genius but she already gave us that whatever anyways but like the necklace thing the the necklace that was like it has it's all these nazi symbols i'm like a regular person isn't thinking about that yeah and it just felt insane and like um i don't know i also think very often about the irony

of that song allegedly being about charlie xcx and it being kind of like mean spirited but thinking about the song charlie xcx allegedly wrote about sympathy yeah sympathy is a knife about just like i feel so insecure comparing myself to this girl and we're also so different they really are incredibly different like charlie xcx is kind of like a bad girl and she's like i'm not ever gonna like be like taylor swift who is kind of like america's sweetheart at the time especially like especially with the heiress tour and um the remix of sympathy is a knife with Ariana Grande is about the opposite side of that of being at the very top and people like making up all these rumors about you and wanting the worst for you and watching that happen to Taylor

Swift just felt really ironic of like Charli XCX writes this like really deeply passionate and personal and embarrassing song about how she feels when she's comparing herself to Taylor Swift does a remix with ariana grande who knows exactly what that's like to be criticized in the public eye and taylor swift's response is to kind of write this like cheap shot song and uh then like be totally canceled for her like bad album i will say that like between charlie xcx and taylor swift it's like so much there is so much more than just that song apparently because i like did because i was thinking the same thing i was like this can't be a risk this cannot be a response i'm sure there's shit that i'm not aware of because of like maddie healy and like

charlie's you know married to his band me and like her and maddie are very close friends and like yeah and maddie healy's fiance he met her yeah he met her through charlie xcx so i'm like you know maybe that song's about her but it just felt a little ironic because i'm like this song is almost like the remix is like about basically what is happening to you right now yeah it's yeah i felt like sympathy is a knife was like kind of a love letter in a way yeah it was like that's girlhood to me yeah it's girlhood to me to explore these like embarrassing feelings and talk about them in an honest way yeah which is this podcast this podcast is girlhood that's true damn i really cooked with that you did you did that feels like a good bow i do want to keep

talking about this though so like we really should have a part two well we're gonna have a guest next week so then we'll do part two after that abby aconi i'm so excited to talk to her so now next week we're going to be talking to abby aconi who is a an anchor on the fox affiliate here which is not affiliated with fox news i feel like i always have to call i put that on my website too i think that's a good call out it's not fox news it is the local fox affiliate and she is fantastic and That's all I'll say. I think you're really going to like her. I'm excited for you to meet her.

Yeah. I mean, I've heard such glowing things. Yeah. So that'll be a good conversation to have. And then we'll maybe dive back into this girlhood convo. Yeah. And in the interim, y'all should write to us about any girlhood topics or stories that you would like us to include in girlhood part two.

Or boyhood stories. Yeah. Or boyhood. I would love to talk about boyhood. Well, there was an episode I recorded with Mr. Liz that was about boyhood. And then you and I talked a little bit about it. how like they're well I think boyhood different it is a different experience but I also think boyhood like we've witnessed boyhood from like growing up you know like I have a younger brother

but then also just like we're around boys in class but yeah I think boyhood is funny absolutely I just saw I was watching this series this TikTok series sorry I know we're wrapping but it was these three maybe they were like 10 or 11 year old boys that were building a treehouse and like they were like documenting their experience building this treehouse and it was peak boyhood it was so fucking cute like they're having so much fun doing it they were just like being kids together it was like i was like oh there it is like that's what that's what boyhood looks like was it the kid with the pizza oh wait have you seen i've seen these a few few times it's the same kid where he's like i'm with my friend we ordered dominoes and we're watching this movie

and then he pans to his friend and he's like i fucking love that shit that makes me so happy is that's also just like childhood yeah where you're like we're gonna order pizza and drink soda and we're gonna go crazy yeah it's the best shit ever me too i wish we could go back to childhood too but we can't so we got to bring it to adulthood yeah we have to bring the child back to whimsy bring back the whimsy where the fuck did the whimsy go yeah that's a good i if this wasn't going to be called girlhood part one where the fuck did the whimsy go girlhood title where the fuck did the whimsy go we need it back we're bringing back the whimsy we really need it it's a fucking bleak ass time we every day i wake up and i'm like please can donald trump pass away yeah

that's not that's natural causes yeah you hear that fbi we were talking about god doing it fuck am i gonna i'm not gonna go out of my way to go find i i'm just wishing them the worst okay i'm allowed to do that it's my american right yeah right with all due respect which is none i hope you rot in hell yeah sorry sorry i'm sure you say the same thing about me they probably do i was like i wonder if i'm on a list because i need to renew my passport i'm like this woman has outwardly said really hateful things about ice i recently renewed mine and i had no problem so i'm sure you're fine we are in washington which i did get back into the us when i was in mexico so would you like to sing us out speaking of whimsy yeah we love you