The Home Service Expert Podcast - Achieving 500% Productivity Through Flow States

Episode Date: January 10, 2025

Steven Kotler is the Executive Director of the Flow Research Collective and a leading expert in peak performance. He is an 11-time national bestselling author, known for successful books such as “Th...e Art of Impossible,” and “The Future is Faster Than You Think.” In this episode, we talked about the science and application of flow, recovery and energy management, motivation and goal-setting…

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Flow follows focus. It only shows up when all our attention is the right here, right now. So that's what all the triggers do. They drive our attention into the present moment. If I wanted to get into the neuroscience, they do it a bunch of different ways. Some of them push dopamine into our system, some push norepinephrine into our system, some of them lower cognitive load. That load is just all the crap you're trying to think about at any one time.
Starting point is 00:00:24 And if I lower cognitive load, this is what people will tell you, clean your office. If you're totally distracted and you're all over the place, what do I do first? You clean your office. Why would you possibly clean your office? It lowers cognitive load. All the crap you're trying to think about starts to go away. What happens? You liberate some extra energy.
Starting point is 00:00:43 What does the brain do with that extra energy? It repurposes it for focus and attention. So complete concentration is the first flow trigger, the most important. Welcome to The Home Service Expert, where each week Tommy chats with world-class entrepreneurs and experts in various fields, like marketing, sales, hiring, and leadership,
Starting point is 00:01:04 to find out what's really behind their success in business. Now marketing, sales, hiring, and leadership to find out what's really behind their success in business. Now your host, the home service millionaire, Tommy Mello. Before we get started, I wanted to share two important things with you. First, I want you to implement what you learned today. To do that, you'll have to take a lot of notes, but I also want you to fully concentrate on the interview. So I asked the team to take notes for you. Just text, NOTES, N-O-T-E-S to 888-526-1299. That's 888-526-1299. And you'll receive a link to download the notes from today's episode. Also if you haven't got your copy of my newest book, Elevate, please go check it out.
Starting point is 00:01:53 I'll share with you how I attracted and developed a winning team that helped me build a $200 million company in 22 states. Just go to elevateandwin.com forward slash podcast to get your copy. Now let's go back into the interview. Welcome back to the home service expert. Today is an amazing day. It's a Sunday and you guys know Joe Polish and our great friends and part of the 100K group.
Starting point is 00:02:15 He is probably the best networker on the planet. I've never seen anybody even come close and his great friend, Steven Coller here. I got to know Steven Coller at the last meeting. It was probably like six months ago. Yeah. About a year ago. And, uh, Stevens wrote, I don't know, like not one, not two, but probably a dozen or 14 books, 14 books. He's the expert of flow. I mean, there's like, he is the world renowned expert. And this idea of flow is what athletes do. It's what doctors do. It's what businessmen do.
Starting point is 00:02:46 It's what everybody does when they get in this 500% better results. And we talked a lot, we're going to talk about goal setting. One of the biggest things you talk about a lot is just the neural connections and some of these ideas of these different ways to get into flow. And now there's the neurotransmitters, the dopamine release, the Burning Man festivals and just all these different ways to get into flow. And now there's the neurotransmitters, the dopamine release, the burning man festivals, and just all these different ideas. So we're going to jump into this. I don't think this is going to be a Fufu rah rah podcast. This is really good about performance and about being your best self. So Joe's here. What's your biggest takeaway? I mean, you've known color for a long time. Oh yeah. Yeah. Gosh. We first met
Starting point is 00:03:24 around 2010. I've had quite a few interviews with him smart, dude He's very science-based and he's very much he'll call out what he thinks are charlatans and bullshit and he always looks back to like how do we know this actually works and Mahaly chick set me high who wrote the original flow the psychology of achievement many other great books Stevens actually the one that taught me how to actually pronounce his last name, which is Chick, set me high. Right? So, Mahaly, and he was personally... Yeah, Tommy, ask me how I learned to pronounce it the hard way. Because I learned the hard way too. And I'll just say this. I founded Genius Outwork and I have Genius Recovery, which is an addiction
Starting point is 00:03:59 recovery foundation. And I won't go into this unless you guys decide to go down that road. I think of Flow, there's that Johann Hari line, which is the opposite of addiction is connection And so if you take the opposite of the ultimate form of connection is flow is to being in a state where you just it's Blissful you're connected you feel good. It could be you know Psychological it could be physical. It's all those things that coalesce in this great area where you're just on, you're dialed in. Now, the opposite of that is complete angst and stress and desperation. You look at addiction.
Starting point is 00:04:32 I look at flow not only just in performance and life for entrepreneurs and business owners, like the home service experts that are listening to this, people that want to get in better physical shape, also look at it in terms of if you're not in a state of can't get to a state of flow and connectedness, you could be very have a very self-destructive life. You could be lonely, depressed. You can just feel horrible. And so Stephen can speak to all of that. And I'm really just kind of here. I'll just interrupt and yeah, no moral support. Yeah, I think Steven I read that you and I know this about you you got Lyme disease you were out for a while a couple years really Brain fog and then a friend of yours came by and said I want to go take you surfing And you could tell us about that story and tell us a little bit about you and just so it's worth backing it up One step because it's irrelevant. So I came out of college trained as a poet. So I came out of college with an absolutely worthless degree. But I became a
Starting point is 00:05:32 journalist. In journalism, they sort of pay you to be curious. And I was really geeked on neuroscience because I think like a lot of us, I wasn't born with an instruction manual. I wasn't a super talented kid. There were better athletes. These people were funnier. These people were smarter. I had big dreams and I grew up in Cleveland in a steel mill town. Basically at a time it was a steel mill town and I didn't have an operating manual. I wanted an instruction manual. I was really pissed that I wasn't born with an instruction manual. And I figured out very quickly that neuroscience was that instruction manual. That sounds really strange if you're not geeked on neuroscience, but the difference between
Starting point is 00:06:11 psychology and neuroscience is about precision. Psychology is squishy. It's subjective. People figure out, oh, this is the model and it relates to who I am, so I'm going to train you with it. It usually doesn't work and it doesn't help. Neuroscience is precise because it's shared by everybody, right? Evolution shaped all of us.
Starting point is 00:06:30 So the way my brain works and the way your brain works and the way your brain works, it's very, very similar. So if you can get down to the level of neurobiology, suddenly you're dealing with mechanism. Suddenly you're dealing with something that like works like an engine rather than like this amorphous car in the sky. That was really useful for me.
Starting point is 00:06:48 I was covering action sports, surfing, skiing, rock climbing, snowboarding, and the like, and this is the part that matters. At the time, I was living in what was then Squaw Valley was now Palisades Tile. I'm an old punk rocker, and Squaw Valley was the punk rock mecca of the action sports world. When it was back, this is before it was a world, it wasn't an industry, it wasn't anything, it was a bunch of basically skate punks and ski punks and surf punks and whatnot. And the 90s in performance and action sports is often talked about as the era of impossible. More things that had never been done got done in that era than ever before, right?
Starting point is 00:07:23 And if you knew anything about performance back in the 90s, it was all about like, you better have a lot of money. You better have the right coaches. You better go to the right schools. You better have the right parents. So you have the right genetics. It was all this stuff that you couldn't control. And I'm living in this community with people
Starting point is 00:07:39 who are routinely not just setting world records, they're doing things that for all of our query history, we thought was gonna kill people that you couldn't do. And I always say it's like one thing when you see like Larratt Hamilton surfing a big wave on a screen and it's one thing when you go out drinking with buddies on a Friday night, every time you wake up Saturday morning and go into the mountains together and they do something that for all of recorded history has never been done. It sort of catches your attention.
Starting point is 00:08:04 Yeah. And what really caught my attention was everybody I done, it sort of catches your attention. Yeah. And what really caught my attention was everybody I knew, they didn't have any money. They were like broken homes, blue collar, very little education. There was a lot of substance abuse in those communities and a lot of high risk behavior. Normally you put those things together in a community, you know what happens. People die younger, they go to jail. What they don't do is reinvent what's going on for the human species, what's possible. That's what I was seeing on almost like a weekly basis.
Starting point is 00:08:29 The question was, what the hell is going on? Where is this coming from? If you started talking to people about it, nobody had that word flow back then. It was in psychology, but we'd talk a little about being in the zone, but you couldn't really, hey, my sense of self disappeared and time passes. You couldn't talk about that stuff out loud. Back in the nineties, people really thought you were crazy. But if you talk to these action sport athletes, that's what was happening.
Starting point is 00:08:53 So in that milieu, out of that milieu, I got Lyme disease and I spent three years in bed and was going to end my life. I liked the doctors had pulled me off medicine. My stomach lining was bleeding out. There was nothing anybody could do for me. I was so... What year was this? I got it when I was 30. So it was 1999 is when I got it and I was sick to like 2002. I was basically in bed for three years. Brain fog was terrible. I couldn't think. I could
Starting point is 00:09:19 function like 10 minutes a day. So I had 10 minutes a day when I was clear headed. There was a time I laid on a couch, I could watch basketball, but I couldn't even watch basketball because I had no memory left. So I couldn't watch the Lakers. Anybody playing a half court style was too slow. The Clippers that year were playing that like, Antonio's seven second offense where they'd run up and score back. It's the only thing I could follow on television because it was the only thing
Starting point is 00:09:40 was making sense. And a friend shows up at my house. I'm literally ready to kill myself. And she says, let's go surfing. You know, my response was, fuck you, right? You're out of your mind. You're crazy, I can't walk across my room. I can't go surfing, you're out of your mind. And she wouldn't leave my house after like four hours.
Starting point is 00:09:57 I was like, fine, let's just go surfing. At least like, you know, what's the worst that can happen? And they had to carry me to the car. They gave me a board the size of a Cadillac. They had to brought me to the wimpiest beginner wave in Los Angeles. And I was out there maybe 30 seconds. They walked me out to the break, put me on this big board and I'm just bobbing in the waves and a wave came and I hadn't surfed in like five years, but I popped up, it was just like muscle memory.
Starting point is 00:10:22 And I just spun my board around and popped up probably all the energy I had in the world left, period, was to pop to my feet. But I popped up into a dimension that I didn't even know existed. I had flow states experience, but I had never had it, like what is known as macro flow, like a full blown macro flow experience. I had an out of body experience at the time. I like lifted out of my body and watched myself surfing. We now know where, why all those things happened, but at the time I was like, what the hell is going on? But I felt great. It was the first time in three years I actually felt alive.
Starting point is 00:10:51 I was happy or at least functional. And it felt so good. I caught like four more waves that day. By the fifth wave, I was done. They brought me home. They put me in bed. People brought me food for like two weeks because I couldn't even get out of my bed to make my kitchen.
Starting point is 00:11:05 And on the 14th day, I had a neighbor who was a pro surfer or semi pro surfer and I knocked and there's no one knocked in his door. I was like, Hey, I'm your neighbor. I think you need to take me to the ocean because I got to go surfing again. And that was all I did over the course of what six months I was surfing and having these. I didn't even know they were actually flow states because flow was this sort of smaller thing. I was having this crazy experience. I didn't know what it was, but my health was getting better. And I like still, I'm just like lying on the couch in between surf sessions, but it started out as 14 days and then it was 10 days and then it was eight
Starting point is 00:11:38 days and then it was six days and slowly my health is improving. Surfing is not a known cure for chronic autoimmune conditions. What the hell is going on? I really thought I was, even though I was feeling better, I thought I was actually dying because the Lyme had gotten into my brain. I didn't realize these out-of-body experiences, these things that I was experiencing in the waves were actually common in deep, low states. There was biology in them. I thought I was losing my mind.
Starting point is 00:12:03 I thought the disease had gotten into my brain and it was just eating my brain. That's what was happening. So I lit out on a giant quest like what the hell is going on with me? And I very quickly discovered that the same state of consciousness flow that had helped these, you know, the folks in the action sports world go from zero up to Superman was helping me go from like seriously subpar back to normal. And it was the same thing on either side of the equation. And Joe's right. Like if you go into a lot of treatment centers these days, I'm not talking about like core, not the industry around treatment, but actually people are doing really good work. They're built around flow programs. We now know that flow can override addiction, overwrite PTSD, overwrite burnout, it can do a late fights against depression and anxiety
Starting point is 00:12:46 and bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. It's the only static thing in the world that will treat all those conditions at once because it's optimal performance. We're all hardwired for it. I didn't know any of that. And I didn't know that flow massively improves the immune system and can reset your nervous system. So we now know why flow cures Lyme disease and is used for autoimmune conditions and addiction and all this stuff that we didn't back in the 90s. I was just trying to figure out, am I dying? And if I'm not dying, am I crazy? And if I'm not dying and I'm not crazy, what the hell is going on? And can I get more of this? How does it work? Can my friends get more of this? Can we control this? Can we learn from this? What is this?" The 90s was really cool because not only did the neuroscience start getting laid down,
Starting point is 00:13:29 but flow in the beginning when we started in the 60s, it was just like, how do we define it? Oh, we define it as an optimal state of consciousness where we feel our best and we perform our best. Then it expanded from that, oh, flow refers to any of those moments of rapt attention and total absorption. It's so focused on what you're doing, everything else just starts to melt away and disappear. Sense of self goes away, time passes strangely.
Starting point is 00:13:52 The common experience is you just get so sucked into what you're doing, right? Five hours go by, it feels like five seconds. And all aspects of performance, physical, mental, and emotional, go through the roof. Now, back in the early days, all the work had been done on athletes. So we sort of knew, okay, fast twitch muscle response increases in flow, strength increases in flow, stamina increases in flow. We didn't know how those things worked or why those things happened. We just knew that they were happening.
Starting point is 00:14:20 And then Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and, also, both of us, like, not only were interested in sports, we were also creative. So I was a writer, he was a writer, and a lot of our friends were artists or whatever, and we started to realize, oh, artists, we were doing this in our art too, just getting into the like these low grade flow states while I was writing. And when I was in like a low grade flow state, as you pointed out, productivity goes through the roof. The number you get that 500% above baseline.
Starting point is 00:14:45 McKinsey, the business consultancy that went around the globe, they talked to leaders, CEOs of major companies for 10 years. How much more productive are you in flow? You always got to take it to the great assault because it's like a self-reported thing, right? They were asking questions. We've studied it at more length and better numbers, but it's still pretty accurate. The average was 500% more productive. You've got to put that in context. That means you go to work on Monday. It's been Monday in a flow state. You can take
Starting point is 00:15:11 Tuesday through Friday off and you're going to get as much done as everybody else in the company out of flow in one day that takes them five days to get done. So that's what was happening in my writing. Like something I would sit down to write and I'd produce a whole chapter where before I would produce a tiny little, you know, paragraph and I was like, okay, this is kind of amazing. Like productivity is going through the roof and other things followed. We now started to figure out, okay, it's not just physical, it's cognitive. And now we know it's emotional. So when we talk about operable performance, it optimizes physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Starting point is 00:15:46 All three of them are lifted as high as they can go in humans. This is literally us performing at our very best. Because it's neurobiologically based, we're all hardwired for it. So everybody listening to this podcast can get into Flow for free. This is like, you know, biohackers are what? Spending $2,000 a month on supplements and you know, blah, blah, blah. No, no, no. This is hardwired into everybody. It's yours for free. This is like, you know, biohackers are what spending $2,000 a month on supplements and you know, blah, blah, blah. No, no, no. This is hardwired into everybody. It's yours for free. Just figure out how it works and you can get more of it. Get as much as you want. It's untapped.
Starting point is 00:16:15 You can't live in a flow state because it's a cycle, right? There's, we used to think it was a binary, like a light switch. You're in the zone, you're out of the zone. Doesn't actually work that way. Most things in the body are a cycle. So you've got these four stages. You got to move through all those stages to get back into flow. But what we've discovered is what used to be this rare experience for people. We found like our training, we have an eight week digital training, right? Zero to dangerous, standard flow training.
Starting point is 00:16:42 We, and we measure everything. So the last thousand people who went through the training, we saw a 73.82% increase in flow for the last thousand. That's pretty average. We see 70, 80% increase in flow for most people. I'd love to tell you that's my Kung Fu that we're that good and we're good. That's biology. That's all of us.
Starting point is 00:17:02 Once you start figuring out how this shit works, you can do that yourself. It's really amazing. I want to say something to that too, just for context purposes. So it was years before, you know, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi was writing about flow state, but no one quite figured out how to actually get there. And I think that's what your work has been. Yeah, that's most of my work has been. And you know, what's interesting is like Stephen's books, he's written a lot of like Peter Diamandis'
Starting point is 00:17:29 books, which New York Times Best Seller's was written with Steve, right? And you probably did more writing than Peter. We share. That's not Peter. Peter's a friend of mine. But the thing is, is like, so for everyone listening, you're an entrepreneur, I think the 500% productivity is incredible. There's also the group flow because almost everyone listening to this has a team of people.
Starting point is 00:17:49 So it's not just an individual thing, right? So how do you do this? How do you enroll and engage other people so you can get your company? I think that's what Tommy's done a really great job with, you know, Unstoppable 365. You know, it's bringing people into all of these, not just mental, but physical stuff because in his latest, Steven's latest book is called a NAR country, G N A R getting old, staying rad, you know, cause he's pretty much like a punk rocker. And I never, I not.
Starting point is 00:18:14 And I was born in like the 1840s. I'm old and I'm an old punk rocker. We're about the same age. So what's funny is that he's been nominated three times for a Pulitzer prize, haven't won yet. So you're like, I'm the biggest loser in the history of the Pulitzer. Yes, I am. And though you're an amazing writer and you do like incredible research and whatnot.
Starting point is 00:18:31 And so, you know, the point I want to make with all of that is that this isn't just performance. This is how you mentally feel. Yeah, let me, this is worth hammering on because it's so critical. So we've known since the 60s, this is Mihaly Cs, this is Mihaly's work, but it's now baked into psychology and positive psychology. We knew that flow underpinned happiness and well-being. We now know it underpins life satisfaction, meaning, purpose. In fact, when positive psychologists define happiness, there are three tiers.
Starting point is 00:19:02 The upper two tiers, the best you get to feel on the planet, have flow baked into the definition. That was where we were for a really long time. I worked on this recently. The point I made a minute ago, we started to figure out the opposite. It's hard to prove. Low helps with depression or anxiety. Those are trickier because you need specific kinds of studies. This brilliant team in Europe just to publish a study in Nature and in one of the Nature publications, 10,000 twins. So if you're going to study depression or anxiety or any of these conditions, twin studies are the gold standard, right? You got identical twins, they're separated at birth.
Starting point is 00:19:37 What happens to one? What happens to the other? It's like the nature versus nurture. Yeah, it gives you just the best sort of benchmark. And they took a 10,000 person twin sample. This is where they discovered flow is protective against depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and cardiac related stress conditions. So for all of us getting older, cardiac related stress conditions as well.
Starting point is 00:20:01 And then my lab proved that flow overwrites PTSD, and my friend Karina Pfeiffer proved that flow overwrites burnout. And so right now, the whole world seems to be suffering from burnout. And this is the only, there's no pill, there's no protocol in the world that treats all those conditions. There's literally, there's nothing else you can get that will protect against those conditions and massively increase happiness and well-being and overall life. Would the word antidote be appropriate for that? Is it the antidote to burnout or is that?
Starting point is 00:20:32 I think so. I'm not going to say it's the antidote to depression or anxiety. Those are bigger things, but it may be the antidote to burnout. Certainly, here's the crazy thing. This is worth knowing. So back in the 60s, the book that introduced flow to the world was a book by Chik Sammi Hai known as Beyond Boredom and Anxiety. He ran this really weird study. There's macro flow. That's what happened to me when I went surfing. This is full-blown flow state, time passes strangely, self-disappears. You start on one with the ocean and all that stuff. I can talk about the science of that if anybody cares.
Starting point is 00:21:04 But micro flow is what happens at work, right? You go to work, let's say you work in an office, you sit down to write a quickie email to your colleague. It's supposed to be a paragraph long, take two minutes, but you get so sucked into what you're doing, an hour goes by and you look up and you've written a whole essay and it's great. You're like, what happened to the time?
Starting point is 00:21:22 That's microflow. Microflow is really common at work. Most of us spend about 5% to 10% of our work lives in microflow, even without noticing. So, Chicks at Mehigh found a way to block microflow in people back in the 60s. He did this experiment. He blocked it for three days, and then he recorded what happened to people. Look what happened to people in three days blocking microflow. It's like extreme burnout.
Starting point is 00:21:46 They go from normal, well-adjusted, happy to deeply paranoid, I can't think, I'm suspicious, I'm anxious, I can't focus, I'm miserable, etc., etc. Here's the thing. Modern business is designed to block microflow. The entire way we do business these days blocks microflow. The way almost every company is organized, 11 different channels of communication coming in, you've got Slack, you've got email, you've got all this stuff pulling your attention on the present moment, you're blocking microflow. You're literally creating conditions for yourself and your employees that are going
Starting point is 00:22:25 to drive everybody into burnout almost immediately. Hi, welcome to your new job. Have some burnout. That's literally what we're doing to people in our companies most of the time. Toyota doesn't do it. Patagonia doesn't do it. The best companies in the world, you look at what they're doing, you look at their management philosophies. They've got pro-flow management philosophies, and they've found a way to go against that but most companies have no idea they think all this technology is making them more efficient and it's making them miserable and less efficient. Can I ask you a question because I've sat through Tommy's team meetings and they're very engaged, you know, one of the most engaged groups that I've seen in service business which is why I think
Starting point is 00:23:02 he's such a great spokesperson for home service and whatnot. I think it's because he can lift a car on shoulder. That's just me. So I'm sure, I can't speak for Tommy, I'm sure there's stages where he's like really motivated, he's really engaged in the culture. So I look at it in engagement, what's the difference between an engaged culture and flow? What is the similarities? Well, so here's the other thing that's really also interesting. Just let's go back to culture because we were talking last night when the three of us were together about the importance of culture in organizations. Flow is a culture building engine. That's one of the things.
Starting point is 00:23:38 So here's something that's really interesting. You hear a lot of stuff these days about, oh, I want psychological safety in my workplace. Are we going to be an inclusive workplace? And first of all, first question, how the fuck are you measuring that? Because it's fine to say it out loud. Who doesn't want psychological safety in an inclusive workplace?
Starting point is 00:23:56 We all do. But how are you measuring it? And most people are trying to measure it. They end up breaking their companies because everybody's got their personal little things and that's what comes up. Psychological safety and inclusion becomes code for, oh no, anything that personally is bothering me, I can now call it, I'm unsafe or I don't feel included.
Starting point is 00:24:15 And suddenly the company's screwed. So you want to really, yes, we want these things. How are you measuring them? Here's something cool. You can actually measure flow because you can't produce flow for reasons we can get into without psychological safety or inclusion. If you're working in an organization, you don't feel safe or included, you can't get into flow. You can literally measure flow in your employees as a way to find out, oh, do they feel safe? Oh, do they feel like, is this my workplace without
Starting point is 00:24:45 having to get into discussions about political correctness versus non? Like all the stuff that really is sort of, I think, poisonous to most businesses these days and are really dragging up businesses and education and a lot of stuff. And it's not that the intentions are bad. I think the intentions are great. I think the way it's being operationalized is a disaster. And the better way to operationalize it is to actually track for flow because you get those other things baked in. By the way, we just talked for an hour. No, I know it's barely any time.
Starting point is 00:25:16 This idea of flow starts with struggle. And I just, I don't know what burnout and maybe I just never experienced burnout, but I've always seen the vision I think my job is to maintain a vivid vision and how people I'm the dumbest guy in the room. I thought I was the dumbest guy I've always the dumbest guy on the dumbest guy in this room We bring in the best of the best we let them do their work but I don't know not not how to hit the gas and
Starting point is 00:25:41 I could see that I could burn out people really really quickly quickly. But I don't even understand what burnout is. So let me define it in the terms you just said. This is and maybe this hasn't happened to you, which is amazing. When your dreams become your own prison, when you build it, that's what happens to a lot of entrepreneurs, right? They're tracking on the vision. They're growing it, they're growing it, they're growing it, they're growing it, they're growing it, they get to where they want to go. And they're like, oh shit, I built a cage out of my dreams. Gino Wickman talked about this with me. Who did? Gino Wickman. He just said, hey, I got to the top of the mountain, sold 87.5% of EOS, super successful, changed the world the way we think
Starting point is 00:26:19 about business. And I was depressed, like nobody's business. I had hit every pinnacle that I've set out to get. And I felt useless. I felt like I gave up my baby. I felt I had all the money in the world. And I think a lot of people feel that way when they, either when they sell or they're growing something and they hit these goals, but they, you know, it comes at a price.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Well, the other thing you said, and this is worth asking about, you've always, I've always had a vision. All right. Like my attention always is going, okay, I've learned this. Where can I go next? What can I, what's the next hard challenge? What's the next hard challenge? If you don't have those, right? If you don't have a new North star, if you build a company and get suddenly achieved everything you want to do without another vision to anchor yourself, we're goal-directed machines. Humans are goal-directed machines. What the science tells us, if you look at my book, The Art of Imposs, which tracks this, we function best with three tiers of goals. You need daily to-do lists, clear goals in flow
Starting point is 00:27:15 terminology, and they're said in a very specific way. You need high-hard goals. These are like multi-year goals, three to five-year goals, and then you need mission statement goals for your life. You want them all pointing in the same direction. So like what you're doing today is feeding into your high to hard goals, which is feeding into your mission goals, which is what Peter and I call the massively transformative purpose, right? Back when we were writing Bold, credit where credit is due, Salimis males term, we stole it from Salim, but a massively transformative purpose is your anchor and everything sort
Starting point is 00:27:45 of fills to that. And if you've, if you're massively transformed purpose, you've suddenly achieved it, right? And you haven't said another one or extended it out. That also derails a lot of people. That sounds like what you were talking about. You know, it's interesting, like with framing, because the way I'm sitting there thinking about who would be watching or listening to this. And when you had Lyme disease, let's say for simplicity sake, I know it's way more involved and complicated than I'm gonna try to simplify it, is you're off track, your body's not working.
Starting point is 00:28:11 Nothing was working. My brain, my body, my career, my marriage, I was bankrupt, bankrupted myself. I mean, I screwed myself, but good. So you're way off track, right? And then surfing, and the mechanism of engaging and flow brings healing to you. It brings all this shit to you.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Right. And that's when you first started like figuring out what the hell is happening here and you immerse yourself and now being the world expert in this area. So the question is, Tommy's had areas of his life, you know, I was a drug addict. Right. Like I was mired in addiction. I've been in recovery for 20 plus years. So when you're off track flow in knowing how to get there and what we're talking
Starting point is 00:28:44 about today to get you on track Is what's so critically important? I think Tommy, you know, he's gonna hold a big event this week a bunch of people that are go off track summer on track They just want to be going faster. We want to do them better And so the whole purpose of this conversation is like how do we help people get on track? How do you purposefully get yourself to the best part of that track? How do you bring your team along on that track? And that has to do with zero to dangerous,
Starting point is 00:29:07 like understanding what that even means. Yeah. What goes on in that process? Well, this is again where the neuroscience is so useful because, and I'm sure probably 50, 60, 70% of the people who listen to your podcast are interested in some level of self-improvement, fixing their lives, fixing their curve. I think most people. Most people. Yeah, they don most people, yeah, if your experience was anything like mine, if you don't come
Starting point is 00:29:30 in armed with the neuroscience and blah, blah, we'll come back to that in a second. The fuck do you do first? Right? Do I care about goal setting? Is this about connection? Is this about motivation? Like, where do I start? Is this about flow? This guy's I start? Is this about flow?
Starting point is 00:29:45 This guy's talking about flow. Is that where I, it turns out if you follow the biology, there's a map. Like there's literally a map. We know where you start. We know what you do. We know what order it goes in.
Starting point is 00:29:56 It always has to start with motivation. We learned this way back in the day. Abraham Maslow pointed it out, but it's been proven again and again. First of all, you can't pay your bills on that. You are rent insecure, food insecure, any of those things. Solve that problem first because until you don't need a lot of money. You need to just, they've proven like after 70,000.
Starting point is 00:30:19 Well, but that number is literally for a family, right? It's basic needs plus a little leftover for discretionary income. That's all you need. But if you don't have that... The basic necessities. There's too much fear. So fear... Maslow's hierarchy.
Starting point is 00:30:33 ...Nor epinephrine, all that stuff that produces for your cortisol, it blocks peak performance, it blocks everything else. So you have to start with extrinsic motivation. You got to start by paying your bills. Once that happens, the next thing you want is intrinsic motivation. Big drivers to drive you forward so you can get in the game. And what are the biggest drivers?
Starting point is 00:30:53 Autonomy, mastery, purpose, passion, and curiosity. And there's an order. Curiosity is designed to be built into passion, which is designed to be built into purpose. And once you have your purpose, what do you want? Autonomy, what the freedom to pursue your purpose. Once you have your autonomy, what do you need? Mastery, the skills to pursue that purpose well.
Starting point is 00:31:13 That's how the biology works. Once you're there, time to layer in the three tiers of goal setting. And once you're there, now it's time to talk flow. Right? That's great. Like we know this, you know, everybody's selling a different piece in this puzzle. So you're getting all these different messages. But neurobiology really laid out the map.
Starting point is 00:31:32 It was like, okay, start here, go here, go here. It's a check. I said, we may argue over this, but I'm the dumbest guy in the room. I need a checklist. What am I doing first? What am I doing second? What am I doing third? Everyone needs a checklist.
Starting point is 00:31:44 And when I go on stages, they're like, where do I even get started? Like literally, I try to give the best information possible, but I actually sink people to the bottom of the ocean. Because I've been doing this, I'm an overnight successor of two decades. Right, me too. And it's hard to go back to the beginning
Starting point is 00:31:59 of sub a million dollars. So when I talk about brand and I talk about the worst word in the English dictionary when I started business was culture. I'm like, I got people stealing from me. I got a guy that flipped over a truck. I got the cops here. I got people not answering the phones sitting on Facebook and you're talking to me about culture. And now I'm like, you can't live without it. But this stress and anxiety, I get stress and anxiety, but I make decisions and I rip off the band-aids really really quickly, right? Like the best state I get in is put me between a rock and a hard spot put the world on my shoulders
Starting point is 00:32:30 It's weird. It's like put me in an impossible situation and then that's when I perform my best Well, let me speak to that then because in like our country He literally shows like if you're injured getting yourself in flow in order to overcome like a back pain that's going to take place because of how much neurochemically is happening in a flow state. When you guys are talking, I write down here, I wrote flow killers because I want to hear your perspective on flow killers in the area of relationships, money, which he spoke to, physical, spiritual, emotional, the environment. If you're in like some toxic environment, you know, you may intellectually understand it
Starting point is 00:33:05 But you know and then foundational sleep water basic needs and then fear like he said a challenging situation Well, Tommy is dancing with fear in a different way where it is somehow empowering him whereas other people it's disabling them And then get in the game you said get in the game I'm like, okay So how do you design that game and what are the killers that are gonna keep that? So that's us all the stuff that's going through my head before you get to the three tiers And I'm like, okay, so how do you design that game? And what are the killers that are going to keep that? So that's, that's all the stuff that's going through my head before you get to the three tiers of goal city. Right. So it's like, yeah. So with Tommy, and we can talk about why again, but I've seen this again and again and again,
Starting point is 00:33:35 right? My career started as a journalist, then moved into writing books. And now I still do those things, not in a lot of journalism, but now I do the science, it's just gotten me sort of more granular over the time. But what I've really done is in every domain, I've tried to be in the room when the impossible becomes possible, right? Like when somebody does something, whether it's turn on the very first artificial vision implant, the very first time a blind person could see, how did you do that? Where did it come from to like Peter when he founded the ex-presidents at the first you know private spaceship and how did you do that right? That was my always my question. You pulled off the impossible how did it happen? Flow is always part of the answer. There's a bunch more of the
Starting point is 00:34:15 answer which is why Art and the Impossible is a bigger book than just about flow but one of the things that I found about the top performers across the boards is they use fear as a compass. The reason is this. We are limited energetically and the most expensive thing for the brain to do. Brain takes all your energy, right? It's 2% of your body weight it uses at rest. You're not even working, you're just chilling.
Starting point is 00:34:39 25% of your energy goes to your brain. The brain is always trying to be energy efficient, it's the first order of business. But for people who are trying to get, increase their performance, if you can learn to work with fear, fear is awesome as a motivator because it gives you focus for free.
Starting point is 00:34:58 You don't have to struggle to pay attention to stuff that you're scared of, you can't not stop paying attention. So once you get good at this and once you can go, oh yeah, this is scary, but this also brings out the best in me and it focuses my attention, does a lot of stuff. The best of the best always they use a fear as a compass. Oftentimes, so people will see my books and they'll be like, you know, you'll get that there was a communication challenge, right?
Starting point is 00:35:23 I wanted to communicate a bunch of ideas and that's what they think the book is about. That's fine. That's what you see. What I see in every one of my books was this impossible writing challenge that I set for myself. It's like, okay, you don't know how to do this at all, but to pull this book off, you have to learn how to write like this and this and this and this and this. And they're incredibly scary, hard goals. The reason I like them is every morning when I have to face a blank page, they're scary. So I'm paying a little more attention for free. I'm not having to work so hard.
Starting point is 00:35:54 So there's a lot of issues with fear. You got to know how to control your nervous system. You got to manicure your nervous system. We can talk more about why that is in terms of flow terms, but like the best of the best, we all use fear as a motivator, I think, for the exact reasons you talked about. It brings out the best in people. You talk a lot about the taught me and a lot of people don't even know how to turn off. They don't know how to take time.
Starting point is 00:36:18 And this is something, you know, Dan Martell, I've talked to a lot about is like, I didn't really ever reflect or take time for myself And that's what's kind of my superpower now I was like I go in these long long walks and I could reflect and I guess they think through things And I just think so many people they don't realize there's 168 hours in a week It's been 50 sleeping 50 working. You got to work on yourself You talk a lot about readers got to be reading and learning a curiosity. They spent 10 working out You still got to be reading and learning a curiosity. You spent 10 working out, you still got 60 hours left. So a lot of people say, I don't have the time.
Starting point is 00:36:48 And they get boggled down and distracted and ADHD is a real thing, especially for business owners. Oh, sure. I guess, how do you find the time to get into flow? And what are the actions if you had to build a step by step guide, and we can go into the three tiers of goal setting too, but if you had to set a guide to kind of go into this state or often to get your team into the state? The environment matters. Like what you're doing.
Starting point is 00:37:11 So the answer is going to be a little bit different depending on what the situation is, but let's just back it up one step and talk high level. So you want more flow in your life? Low states have triggers. These are preconditions that lead to more flow. This is your toolbox. There's 28 known flow triggers. There's probably way more, but that's what's been discovered. And as Joe pointed out, there's two varieties of flows, individual flow, me in a flow state or Tommy in a flow state. And there's group
Starting point is 00:37:37 flow, all three of us, right? We're in a little bit of group flow right now, right? The conversations, our focus is right here. The conversations bounce around. We're sort a little bit of group flow right now, right? The conversations, our focus is right here. The conversation is bouncing around. We're sort of finishing each other's sentences and popping in a little group flow experience. So there's 16 triggers for group flow. The rest are for individual flow. So let's stay on the individual side. All the triggers do the same thing.
Starting point is 00:37:58 Flow follows focus. It only shows up when all our attention is the right here right now. So that's what all the triggers do. They drive our attention into the present moment. If I wanted to get into the neuroscience, they do it a bunch of different ways. Some of them push dopamine into our system, some push norepinephrine into our system, some of them lower cognitive load. That loads just all the crap you're trying to think about any one time. And if I lower cognitive load, this is what people will
Starting point is 00:38:24 tell you, clean your office. If you're totally distracted and you're trying to think about any one time. And if I lower cognitive load, this is what people will tell you, clean your office, right? If you're totally distracted and you're all over the place, what do I do first? You clean your office. Why would you possibly clean your office? It lowers cognitive load. All the crap you're trying to think about starts to go away. And what happens? You liberate some extra energy.
Starting point is 00:38:40 What does the brain do with that extra energy? It repurposes it for focus and attention. Complete concentration is the first flow trigger, the most important. If you're interested in complete concentration on the task at hand, if it's a group setting, you want your entire team focused on the same thing. If it's an individual, you want all your attention here. What does that mean? You asked about flow killers. The first step is distraction management, right? I start
Starting point is 00:39:09 my day with my hardest task. I want to get the biggest, hardest, most complicated thing out of the way first. One, because I'm going to have the most energy when I wake up, right? I know that. So that's where I go from you. You're telling me you start your day. I am telling you with the very hardest thing you need to do. I'm telling you, I'm telling you. I didn't tell you why I go from my bed to my desk in less than seven minutes. I bed bathroom. I put my dogs outside and let them go run around and I walk over to my office.
Starting point is 00:39:42 I have big properties of my house. My office is on my property or from my house, walk over to my office, go on the coffee maker and I'm down at the computer and I don't, there's, so I, not only do I practice distraction management, I make my to-do list the night before so I know exactly where I'm starting. I shut everything down in my office. There's no email, there's no phone. Slack is off. All the things that my staff can reach me on. All those things are turned off. There's no communication channel
Starting point is 00:40:10 open except for messages. That's literally kept open for my wife and my business partner and my parents and a couple other people. Other than that, I won't check anything. That's first distraction. I've walled it off. In fact, I turn all my lights off in my office and I put my writing the night before in focus view, which is a Microsoft Word thing where all you see is the words. Literally, I walk into a black room where my book is floating in front of me. The only difference, Tommy, is the hardest thing I have to do is actually create new
Starting point is 00:40:47 words. I have to advance my chapter, a thousand words or two thousand words or whatever. I start by editing what I wrote the day before. And there are flow-based reasons for it, and I can talk about that in a second. But I start by editing, and then I go into the hardest thing. So I guess I start my day with my second hardest task, which is editing what I wrote the day before. And then I go into the hardest thing. So I guess I start my day with my second hardest task, which is editing what I wrote the day before. And then I go into writing. And I will tell you, like, if you're good at this and I'm good at this, 95% of the time, I'm on a flow state within like 15 minutes.
Starting point is 00:41:15 I usually write for four hours in the morning. I started four o'clock in the morning and at eight o'clock, I stop and I'll usually take my dogs for a hike in the back country at that point. I'm a big believer in long walks too And I like so I like to go out for like an hour right after I've written for a bunch of reasons that we can talk About this has been my life since I was 28 years old every day So I changed that I've read a lot about like Jeff Bezos for example. He does his morning routines
Starting point is 00:41:39 He's got to have his cup of coffee Read the Wall Street Journal. He has a few things go on in the morning. His most important meeting is between 10 and 12. So do you think like for me, I got a cold punch going to Sonic. Wake up. I think everybody's different. I think you've got to figure out one what is going to work. What's the optimal time to get? There is no optimal time because the optimal time.
Starting point is 00:42:02 What I always tell people is you want to work in accordance with your circadian rhythms. It's really hard to fight your natural biorhythms. So I'm married to a night owl. I'm an extreme lark. I get up really early. You want the best of my brain? Talk to me at like six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock in the morning. That's you're going to get my best brain power.
Starting point is 00:42:21 If you want my wife, you better talk to her at like four or five or six in the evening. Most people are like Bezos. Most people, this is why work starts at nine and things like that, most people start to hit their prime around nine or ten. That's like normal body clocks, right? I'm an extreme lark. So my problem is I'll get up earlier and earlier and if I'm not careful I'm waking up at like 1 30 in the morning. And now I have to go to bed at like, you know, six o'clock to be able to do that. So like my problem is my body will keep waking up earlier and earlier because I really like, it's just naturally that way. So that's how I set my day.
Starting point is 00:42:57 I think you should start with your hardest task first. And the reason is if I do nothing else in my day, but I wake up and I've done my writing and then I have to take my dog out no matter what. And I 90% of the time I hike with a weight vest. And I do it for a bunch of different reasons. But one of which is it gives me, I mean, I'm going to go to the gym later in the afternoon, but in case my schedule gets crazier, it comes up. It means that I've always gotten my exercise in I've gotten a workout in because I'm gonna do 45 minutes up a mountain
Starting point is 00:43:28 With like 20 or 30 pounds on my back my dog and I've gotten my hardest test So I've sort of won my day by 9 a.m. Most people they're starting their day I've already won most of my day by 9 a.m. And then and I go from there, you know I'll work six or seven every night, know I'm like the rest of us I'm a workaholic but it's that morning stretch that really matters. It doesn't feel like work when you love what you do. Feels like play right? Well listen I'll tell you the journey I've been on it starts with sleep and a lot of people they don't get the right sleep. Yeah by the way I gotta say you're right because this is the first thing we find out when people
Starting point is 00:44:04 come to train with us. That's the first question we ask is how much are you sleeping? Cause you're not sleeping seven, eight hours a night. Sure. You can get into flow, but not reliably and repeatedly because it's a high energy state. So if you don't have the right nutrition, you don't have the right hydration, you don't have the right sleep.
Starting point is 00:44:19 And I'm not saying there's one diet for flow, but you want to have energy. So you got to eat healthy food that gives you energy and you need good hydration so you get energy and you need seven, eight hours of sleep. And you know, there's no argument with that. You know what I gotta speak to that too. So like years ago, I did this video that's on YouTube with Robin Sharma and he wrote a book called many books
Starting point is 00:44:39 but he wrote the 5am Club. And I interviewed him when he was working on the 5am Club before it came out and also co-authored a book of the miracle morning for addiction recovery. And I am more predominantly like a nocturnal person. I'd rather. But you're all I can. I know I can call you at six o'clock in the morning. You're one of the few people I know I call that time. Well, yeah, what's funny. So like I was talking to my buddy, Dean Jackson, and who you've had on your podcast. Yeah. And it's like, if you want a five AM club, it It's really a 9 p.m. Club because if you try to get up at 5 a.m
Starting point is 00:45:08 But you're going to bed at 1 in the morning yours can be exhausted And so part of it is so you just described your your flow in the morning doing the hardest thing What happens before you go to bed an hour two hour? Whatever? Is there anything that you could you could share it? Yeah, you could share? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Tommy does the same thing. Tommy has his rituals, but there's before bed and there's after, but he says the most important thing is sleep. So what's happening before? So, all right, we can talk about clear goals, which are a flow trigger.
Starting point is 00:45:35 And this is about a properly daily to do this. But the second thing is the flow is a high energy state. And okay, let me tell you one flow trigger. We talk about one other flow trigger besides the concentration that'll be really helpful. The most important flow trigger is known as the challenge skills balance. Challenge skills balance. Every listening is going to know exactly what I'm talking about when I explain it. So the idea here is flow follows focus.
Starting point is 00:46:02 We pay the most attention to the task at hand when the challenge slightly exceeds our skill set. You want to stretch but not snap. So if I were to describe it emotionally, right, there's something known as the flow channel. It sits between boredom and anxiety. Boredom is, hey, there's not enough stimulation here. I don't give a fuck. I can't pay attention. Anxiety, whoa, way too much. I don't give a fuck. I can't pay attention Anxiety will way too much and paying too much attention in between is this sweet spot is known as the flow channel if you're Physiologist this is the earth stops incur and we've known about this since like 19 so say this father irks Why are k es hyphen do b son? Erks stops incur and it basically says no matter what the stimulates is
Starting point is 00:46:46 There's a music certain level. It's sounds too low. You can't hear it You can't hear it you can't hear it and then there's a sweet spot in the middle where we like it Then it gets too loud. That's everything including flow same thing. So there's a sweet spot the flow channel Anxiety if there's too much anxiety, you're gonna block flow. Little bit focuses attention. This is you using fear as a motivator. This is me using fear as a motivator.
Starting point is 00:47:12 You're not using abject terror as a motivator because that'll blow you out. Then all you can think about is a thing you're scared of. There's no maneuverability. So that said, flow requires you to manage your nervous system and manage your energy levels on a regular basis. At the end of my day, to answer your question, Joe, and I'm not sure how everybody does this, I will work to wherever I work to, I need roughly two and a half hours afterwards.
Starting point is 00:47:42 The first thing you want to do is have an active recovery protocol. Passive recovery is TV and a beer. And both are terrible for performance. Alcohol will fuck up REM sleep. So you can have one to maybe two drinks, right? But now once you go over two drinks, and if you weigh like I do, which is like 160, it's one drink.
Starting point is 00:48:02 With you, it's two drinks. But with me, it's like one drink. Anything beyond that blocks REM sleep. So I've just messed up my sleep, right? So- That's a big one, no alcohol. No alcohol. You know what?
Starting point is 00:48:13 I will say I did a thing, it was really funny. Richard Branson and I did a thing. We're both, I think marijuana advocates or more, have been marijuana advocates for various reasons. We did a thing about marijuana together. Somebody asked me in the Q&A questions You like to have any business advice. What's your like one thing? Smuggable. No, he said quit drinking. We're drinking with drink. He said quit drinking
Starting point is 00:48:32 It's the most it was funny because I've spent a lot of time with rich. Yeah, you have You know, he's six weeks on his island. Yeah, so alcohol is a flow blocker alcohol is a cover blocker TV is a recovery blocker and most people don't blocker. And most people don't know this. So they don't realize this is about YouTube or TV and social media. Yeah. Social media. Well, social media we know, right? But we don't realize that like TV does it because it's really subtle.
Starting point is 00:48:55 So here's the problem. If you want to recover, right? All the active recovery protocols, whether it's a sauna or an Epson salt bath or breath work or mindfulness or a long walk in nature, all these things. What they're doing is they're putting your brain into alpha. Alpha is like a basic, it's the recovery brain wave. It's relaxed, it's daydreaming mode, it's creative.
Starting point is 00:49:18 And when we watch TV, the brain, that's that calibrative feeling when we're just watching it. But what you don't realize is every time there's a quick cut on television, at an unconscious level, your brain goes from alpha up to high beta. High beta is essentially at the edge of fight or flight. And the reason is we evolved in an environment where when anything moves quickly, it could be a threat, could be a predator, right? Could also be an opportunity. Maybe this is something I can eat or have sex with, or something I gotta run away from.
Starting point is 00:49:48 So every time you're watching TV and you see that quick cut, you're just chilling, your brain freaks out. You don't notice it, but your brain goes, is that a threat, what just happened? And it's blocking recovery. So, and I'm not saying TV bad, I'm saying TV before bed,'m saying TV before bed, bad.
Starting point is 00:50:06 TV before bed, bad. Bad. And so, like to me... And that would probably also include social media. Social media, yeah, yeah, yeah. Any sort of screen time. You know what is great? Books. Books.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Reading books. So, nobody wants to tell you this. I always tell people, they're like, well, there are so many choices, de-stressing wise. Like, what do I do? And I'm like, it's simple, depending on how much time you have. If you've got five minutes, if you have five minutes of time, and you want to reset your nervous system, there's certain things you want to do. If you have six minutes, read a book. No, seven to 11 minutes. If you want to reset your nervous system really, really quickly, breath work can't really do it until you get to about seven to 11.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Seven to 11 breath work. Yeah. So if you've got like literally six minutes of reading fiction. Six minutes of fiction. Fiction will calm your nervous system down. What's the best fiction? It doesn't matter. The thing you want to avoid here is like super fast paced thriller fiction
Starting point is 00:51:05 where it's making you a little more agitated. Like almost anything else will work. This is only reading or audible. I haven't seen data on audible and the nervous system. And what I really think is learning styles is kind of crap. Like there was this idea that some people are visual learners and somebody is auditory on some of these kinesthetic and we're all sort of blended. But there are handfuls of people who are just they're audible learners, right? They need to learn that way. But as a general rule, if you can avoid audiobooks, if you got a job where you're stuck in traffic
Starting point is 00:51:38 a lot or something like, yeah, listen to podcasts, read audiobooks for sure. But if you can avoid them, and the reason is we know when you listen or read electronic books instead of actual physical books, you retain less. And it's because part of our brain that developed from memory is the hippocampus. It originated from map making. Your brain is like you were a hunter-gatherer. Where is the cave with the saber-toothed tiger so I could avoid it? Where's the ripe fruit tree come springtime?
Starting point is 00:52:08 Where's the good watering hole, right? This is what the brain was designed to evolve. So we use the thickness of a book, the geography of a book, literally to help us with memory. So your brain won't just remember the fact, it remembers where, like this, if you tell me about your favorite books and you tell me about your favorite quotes, I bet I can say where in the book is that quote. You can sort of give me a general geographical reason and you a lot of people can tell you where on the page it is. And that's why. So so like a Kindle or whatever would not allow that kindle. You can't get back to it. If you get so if you
Starting point is 00:52:42 look at the studies on memory and reading, it the real book the highest when we read actual real physical books and Fascinating let me ask you question. So because people have heard this a million times You know don't look at your phone before bed and instead of acting in any way shape or form like I'm somehow above this both Me and Tommy are friends with dr. Anna Lemke who wrote dopamine nation and a lot of people misinterpret what dopamine is. It's a neurotransmitter of anticipation. And when you're looking at a phone and it's a dopamine cash register, you are anticipating other stuff. Hey, I hope you're loving today's episode. Since you're a Home Service Expert Podcast Listener, you're hearing about this first. Freedom 2025 is happening September 3rd through the 5th at
Starting point is 00:53:26 Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas. And as a loyal listener, you're first in line for a huge pre-sale discount. Listen, things are changing fast. Suppliers are jacking up their prices. Customers are more demanding than ever. They want more for less. And don't even get me started on the competition. Now we've got private equity and AI that are making them stronger and hungrier more than ever. And they're coming for your market, I promise you that. At Freedom 2025, you're gonna get proven ideas for scaling, growing profitability,
Starting point is 00:53:58 and dominating your market. Actionable strategies that you can take home and start using right away. And now working with the sharpest home service owners in the industry, the ones who are already playing at the top. I'll be there, Kevin O'Leary from Shark Tank is keynoting and we've got some more powerhouse speakers on the way. This is your chance to learn from the best and prepare for what's coming.
Starting point is 00:54:18 Seats are limited and this pre-sale ends January 31st. Lock in your spot now, get the best price before it's open to the public. Go to freedomevent.com now. That's freedomevent.com. Now back to the episode. So it is extraordinarily hard when someone's conditioned to not wake up in the morning, look at their phone, or not look at your phone before you go to bed.
Starting point is 00:54:41 What is actually happening when you are looking at a screen versus a book that you're saying no screen time? Because people hear no screen time all the time, but I'd love for you to describe neurochemically what is the draw? Why is it so hard for people to put it down? What is it training our brains to do and how is it a flow killer if you could speak to it in that? So, the good news is I don't have to say much beyond what I've already said. One of it is like books are fixed, right? The words are, they're not jumping around the page and flashing and blinking and whatever.
Starting point is 00:55:15 So cell phones, as you pointed out, what technology did they base cell phones on? You know this, they designed them to function like slot machines. You have the most, right? Addictive, distracting, lots of bells and whistles, cell phones. You know this, they design them to function like slot machines. Yep. The most addictive, distracting, lots of bells and whistles, lots of noises, lots of phones, your focus goes all over the place. In a sense, the brain doesn't multitask. Like it's a total lie, right? I was on the original panel on multitasking with Cliff Ness out of Stanford.
Starting point is 00:55:41 Like I worked on it. We are not built to multitask. We can serial process information, but we do that at a subconscious level. A conscious level, a conscious mind goes one thing at a time, right? It doesn't process two or three things at once. You have to switch tasks. And every time there's task switching,
Starting point is 00:56:02 there's a cost to it. So- I wanna dive into that in a little bit for sure. So like with phones, one is the anticipation, right? You're right. Don't mean is a common and even calling dopamine chemical anticipation is a lot because what are multi tools? Neurochemicals are multi tools.
Starting point is 00:56:19 Don't mean nor epinephrine and add to mine serotonin, all these things. They do tens of thousands of jobs in the brain. The brain is really concerted by design, so it finds something that works and it reuses it and reuses it and reuses it and reuses it. No need to reinvent the wheel each time. Oh, this works. Can it work over here? Can it work over here?
Starting point is 00:56:39 Can it work over here? That's sort of how neurochemicals function. dopamine does a lot of different stuff in the brain. Most people don't realize, I'll give you a really simple example. Why does time pass so strangely in flow? One reason is when there's more dopamine in your system, time speeds up. When there's less dopamine in your system, it slows down. You want to hear, this is weird, you want to talk about mind-body connection stuff.
Starting point is 00:57:04 Like we used to think these were two separate things and they've been coming closer and closer and closer together. Here's the craziest mind, body, connection story. There's a whole bunch of new research that says, they did this thing. They wounded people. Put cuts on their arms. And some people time pass through it. They asked them how slow was time passing for you or how fast it was passing for
Starting point is 00:57:24 you. The people who thought time was passing faster, their wounds healed faster. People who thought time was dragging on board, it took them longer to heal. So the latest front of like the mind-body connection is literally how we perceive the passage of time impacts wound healing. The question that I ask myself all the time about that one is we're all weightlifters. Weightlifting is about tearing the muscle or wounding the muscles and regrowing them. So the question I've been asking myself, but I don't have an answer. I just think it's fascinating is, wait a minute, if I'm wounding my muscles all the time and
Starting point is 00:57:56 then I'm in flow all the time and I'm not noticing the passage of time and it's really sped up that way, am I getting bigger faster? Is this a way to get bigger? And nobody knows the answers to that. Nobody's really looked at this because the wound healing stuff is new. But it's cool cutting edge stuff. So you said seven to 10 minutes breath work, six minutes. Oh yeah. What's the five minutes? Have you got five minutes only? Oh, a gratitude list. Gratitude list. I was reading that. A gratitude practice is Your book. A gratitude practice is five minutes. If you've got six. Ten things.
Starting point is 00:58:27 No. Well, you do one of two ways. Most psychologists, most like positive psychologists, don't do the ten things. They will say, write down three things you're grateful for. This is what you can do in five minutes. Three things you're grateful for and turn one of them into a paragraph. It's worth talking about sort of like, it's just worth talking about why that works because people hear gratitude and you hear it all over the freaking
Starting point is 00:58:50 place. And it sounds to a lot of us, right? Unless you're come up in a spiritual tradition or things like that, it just seems wonky. So why would gratitude work? And it's important because gratitude works for the same reasons affirmations fail fail. We have phenomenal built in bullshit. So if I'm looking in the mirror and I'm doing an affirmation, I am a millionaire, I'm a millionaire, I'm a millionaire. And my mirror self is looking back at me and going, dude, you work at Walmart, shut the fuck up, right? It's demotivated. I'm lying to myself and I know I'm lying to myself. And I'm really, but if I'm looking in the mirror and going, I am so happy and grateful that I woke up this morning and I'm breathing and my legs are working.
Starting point is 00:59:30 Well that's real. That's real. And if when you start listing things that you're grateful for, the brain, we evolve in a high threat environment. The word, this is a crazy word, homeostasis. Homeostasis literally just means balance, right? So let me give you a crazy example. This dopamine is involved in this process.
Starting point is 00:59:50 So the brain is a prediction engine. That's what it does all the time. It's always saying what's about to happen and how much energy do I need to meet that challenge? Remember, we go back to efficiency. The first order of business for the brain is save energy. Calories are freaking expensive. It's hard to get food in the environments we evolved in.
Starting point is 01:00:09 So how do I reserve energy? You don't, if you know the door knob is open, you don't need to put your shoulder into the door and waste all that energy trying to bust the door open. You just turn the knob, right? So when you're reaching for that knob, your brain is trying to predict, is it going to be unlocked? How much energy do I need for that?
Starting point is 01:00:30 Doing that all the time. When it matches your prediction, you don't notice. You think the door is going to be unlocked, you open the door and walk through it, you didn't even notice it, you did it. You notice when it doesn't match your prediction. That noticing that, oh, it's locked, that feeling you get, that's because dopamine has been cut off. So every time we match prediction, you get a little bit of dopamine, a little bit of
Starting point is 01:00:51 dopamine. And when we don't, it gets cut off. So you asked a question that started me talking about prediction. What was that? Let's back up into it. I was just getting into this whole reverse engineering, like the brain's prediction machine. God, I was started. I'll just talk your face off and go on brand. No, I love this.
Starting point is 01:01:10 It's a little speak to prediction and the way that you perceive it. Well, that's I mean, that was the example. I'm just trying to think why I started telling you about the brain as a prediction engine. And no, no, we were talking about gratitude, gratitude. Okay. Right. Right. Right. Right. Okay. So what we don't realize is that the brain takes in, we take it a limited amount of information, right? But on average, the brain will take in nine negatives for every one positive thing that comes
Starting point is 01:01:38 through. So we get nine negative bits of information. This is dangerous. This is scary. This is don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Very positive. It gets through Those positive things are the basis of creativity, opportunity, like for entrepreneurs, really, really, really critical because you're always looking for opportunity. You're always looking for novelty and new information, not the same old thing that scares you. So what a gratitude list is, it tips it. You stop taking about five negative for every positive that you get. For that day?
Starting point is 01:02:08 Yeah, for that period of time. So it calms you down, goes, oh, you're safer than you think, and it lets you start seeing more of the world. It opens up perception. So you're getting in novelty and opportunity, and all these things are starting to come in, and things are a lot less threatening.
Starting point is 01:02:24 So that gratitude does that in five minutes. Reading is about six minutes. If you have seven to 11, 15 ish, you probably want to do breath work. If you've got 15 to like 25 minutes, I would do it. I would take a page out of Tommy's book. I go for a long walk in nature. That's the like 15 to 20 minutes, 25 minutes, go for a walk. If you've got 25 to like 45 minutes, go get a workout in, right? Exercise is the best cure for your nervous system, right? Best way to really calm it down.
Starting point is 01:02:57 There's other things you can do. So eight minutes of petting a dog, petting an animal, social connection will do this too, but eight minutes of petting a dog starts producing oxytocin and a whole bunch of those neurochemicals for connection. So there are other like little hacks in there, but my point to get back to it, you asked what do you do at the end of the day? I do an active recovery protocol, right? Usually I finish working, I either go, I've already worked out, so I'll go right into a sauna. And I like to do breath work and reading inside a sauna. So I've got an infrared sauna.
Starting point is 01:03:33 You tend to say them for a long time, like half an hour, 30, 40 minutes. I can do 20 minutes of breath work and 20 minutes of reading and a sauna. So saunas automatically lower cortisol. They do it automatically. And then I massively amped up my recovery with some breath work and with some reading. By the way, what breath work do you? I rotate it. I rotate it. It depends on if my nervous system is really agitated, right? If I'm really sped up, I will do a Wim Hof style breath with breath holding because it's more effective at calming you down when you're already really sped up.
Starting point is 01:04:10 I'm slightly calmer. I'm going to do a focused meditation. I tend to do sound meditation a lot because I like it. It works really well for me. Sometimes I'll just count my breath or do things like that for a bunch of different reasons. If I really have the time, I will do loving kindness meditation. Of all the meditative systems, loving kindness meditation does some really interesting things
Starting point is 01:04:36 that the other ones don't do. So one of them is loving kindness meditation actually has anti-aging properties. So they did a bunch of studies of focused meditation versus loving kindness meditation. And one of the things they were looking at was telomere. So telomeres are the caps on chromosomes, right? And as we age, the chromosomes shrink, right? We lose our telomeres. Loving kindness meditation actually increases telomere health.
Starting point is 01:05:03 So you can calm down your nervous system and it's got an anti-aging benefit. So the other thing about loving kindness meditation, we know this as adults, this is adult development. So if you want to have a successful second half of your life, you want to be happy, healthy and joyous like 45 forward by age 50. If you really want to enjoy the second half of your life and have a high flow and all that, you need to forgive most of the people who've done you wrong. If you carry grudges into the second half of your life, it tends to make you miserable over time and it blocks. So humans, most people don't know this, but your brain development doesn't stop. As a kid,
Starting point is 01:05:43 it keeps going and there's really cool, amazing things that happen in your brain in your 40s and 50s. If you get it right, and we'll talk about what right means in a second, you unlock whole new levels of intelligence. This is in our country, right? This is pre-performance age. You can get new levels of intelligence, new levels of creativity, new levels of wisdom, new levels of empathy. Now, of wisdom, new levels of empathy.
Starting point is 01:06:05 Now think about this from a business perspective. What do we know about the world today? Well, customer-centric thinking is really important because our customers matter. If you don't have empathetic employees, you're going to fuck up your company culture and you're going to fuck up your customer relationships. If you don't have wise employees, same problems. These are all the things we actually want in people. So it really matters how do we unlock these things? There's only two things to do. One, by about age 50, you have to forgive all the people who have done
Starting point is 01:06:33 you wrong. And how do you do that? Well, there's a lot you can spend years in psychotherapy, give it a go, or you can do loving kindness meditation. Loving kindness meditation tends to do that work for you. The other thing you need to do is learn how to be creative. So to have a successful second half of your life, flow is very deeply involved in it, but just to like sort of get in the door, you have to be able to be creative and you have to forgive the people who've done you wrong. Starting in your late 40s to 50s, creativity is what unlocks these new thinking styles
Starting point is 01:07:04 in your brain. There's 50s. Creativity is what unlocks these new thinking styles in your brain. There's a bunch of brain changes, like the two sides of the brain start working together like never before. The brain starts to colonize underutilized resources and things like this. There's things that happen in the brain and loving kindness, meditation, or forgiveness
Starting point is 01:07:18 plus creativity is how you really take advantage of it. And it leads to more flow also. I wanna ask you a question about this cause I think it bothers me and I think it bothers a lot of other people, advantage of it. And it leads to more flow also. I want to ask you a question about this because I think it's it bothers me and I think it bothers a lot of other people but I dance with it a lot. It's criticism right? So let me give you just a basic example not being attacked viciously with someone I don't even know. So the other day so me and Tommy have our books up. Mine's What's in it for them? His book Elevate and I was reading a review on the Amazon someone gave me Tommy one star
Starting point is 01:07:46 Yeah, all my friends. He never made reviews and but I was doing a test to see like, okay Let's see how it bothers me So nestled between a one-star review where this person was like Joe used to put out such great stuff and he's lost it Like someone that I don't have no idea who this person is. He lost a fan's worse It's worse that they hated you at the beginning. No, he's like, you know, it's not as good as his earlier work. And it's like, I've put more work into this book than anything. But right above and below that in terms of the timeline, if you sort by recency, this is the best book I have ever read. I bought three
Starting point is 01:08:19 copies for a friend. I've listened to it on audio twice and I'm reading it now. And it's just like the perception of it. But the funny thing is is the vast majorities of the reviews are five stars and I'm like, so what is it about criticism? What is happening where someone has a because you said the brain fixates on stuff So gratitude, I think snapshot of it, but i'm i'm curious to criticism is interesting because Coming up as a journalist i've never been in a field where people are ruder than in journalism. Editors dealing with journalists, like my favorite story is Wired Magazine. The editor is a good friend of mine still.
Starting point is 01:08:57 Wired Magazine sends me to the Everglades. I'm writing about the Everglades restoration project. It's $8 billion to fix the Everglades, largest public works project any of these ever done. I live in a freaking swamp for three months, middle of the Everglades. The only place to get dinner is the roundest strip club. I mean, it's like the worst thing you've ever seen. I've never seen anything like what was going on in the strip club in the middle of the Everglades. It's the only place to eat. There's a gas station and a strip club and it's like scientists and like, you know, people
Starting point is 01:09:30 are killing alligators for a living and selling boot skins and things like that. Like nobody else is out there. It's a tough story to report. I spend four or five months writing it, turn it into my editor. He calls me up. He's like, Steven, it's just one thing I didn't understand. like, Stephen, there's just one thing I didn't understand. Read your story, there's just one thing I didn't understand. And I am just like, my ego's like, I'm that good.
Starting point is 01:09:50 I just, one thing I got. I was like, what's that, Adam? He's like, every motherfucking word you wrote. And I had to start over, like literally like, and that comment in the editors, editors speaking to writers like that, that was what I did for 15 years. I had people just rude to me all the time
Starting point is 01:10:09 because they're overworked, they gotta get the pieces in and they don't have time for crap writing. It's easier for them to be rude to me and hire another writer to put them on the story than it may be to help me fix it sometimes. And this is way before the world of AI where people could leave. And this is also, by the way, this was my,
Starting point is 01:10:24 here's the part of that story that I left out. I told you I bankrupted myself from Lyme disease. This was my comeback story. So I needed this money so desperately. Like I was so poor and I needed them to accept this story. My point is that I've gotten like, it's funny because there are one star reviews on, you know, people say all kinds of crap about
Starting point is 01:10:45 I don't take any of the personal stuff personally, but it's like, I always assume if somebody doesn't like something, this is when I work with editors too, and or really I do it in business too. If you don't like something of mine, I believe that there's probably something wrong on the page where you were like, yeah, I really I got lost here. I don't get what you're doing. I'm not into that. I don't don't get what you're doing. I'm not into that. I don't think you know what you're talking about.
Starting point is 01:11:08 I just think you something's wrong there. You don't have any clue. You don't know enough about writing or my story or whatever. Be accurate with your, but something's wrong there. So I take the criticism as, okay, there's something here. Like I'm in the neighborhood. I don't trust your opinion because I don't think you have enough expertise about my thing, you have to tell me the exact thing that's wrong, but I trust
Starting point is 01:11:31 enough that you're in the neighborhood and I just take it and I'm like, okay, how do I do it better next time? So that this neighborhood doesn't want to revolt against me. Right. That's how I sort of think about it, But I don't like, I don't know. You know, I'm an old school punk rocker. So like, I'm kind of used to you not liking me. Right. I grew up in Ohio with a Mohawk. Like the whole state wanted to beat me up for 20 years.
Starting point is 01:11:57 Some people are derailed by criticism. Other people use it as fuel. So the reason I bring it up is like Tommy's comment about fear. It's like some people will see some type of rejection is like, I'm not good enough to go into a shame cycle. They can't function. Others are like, man, they use that as fuel. Let me actually speak at this in a flow way. So people ask me like, what is the goal you're training? Training and flow? What's a win? What do we call success? And so I'm going to use a couple of technical terms, then I'll explain. So what success to me is, as I said, clear goals are a flow trip. So a daily to do list well set.
Starting point is 01:12:34 Well, and we can talk about what that means, what that looks like. I wanted to dive into that. We'll dive into that because it's probably important. But to me, there's a term in flow. So flow is defined, psychologists define defined, flow has six core characteristics. How do you know if you're in flow? How do you know if your team's in flow? Complete concentration of the task at hand, the merger of action and awareness, vanishing
Starting point is 01:12:56 or disappearing of the sense of self, time dilation, time passes strangely. And then there's two other things. There's a sense of control. I look at you in flow and it looks from the outside looking in, it looks like peak performance. I see Michael Jordan in flow. He's just putting buckets. On the inside, it feels like, oh, shit, I can control things I couldn't normally control. This could be Michael Jordan used to talk about being in the zone, being in flow. The basket looks as big as a hula hoop, but I can't miss me and flow as a writer, right? Like my suddenly my sentences are sort of dancing on the page at four o'clock in the morning on a Tuesday.
Starting point is 01:13:32 That's not usually what happens like right when I sit down at four AM, but you know, that's what will happen or it's a great brainstorming session where users ping pong that sense of control than the other. The last one, and this is where I was going. This is the point is flow is described as an autotelic experience. Autotelic is a Greek word and all it means is an end in itself. It means flow is so joyful, so ecstatic, so much fun.
Starting point is 01:13:57 I would put it in addiction terms. I would say flow is the most addictive state on earth. It is. It's just a positive addiction. Leads us forward into the future that we wanna go to rather than most addictions which lead us backwards and drag us down.
Starting point is 01:14:11 But flow is, it's the same, same reason. Yeah, I see, if you wanna use addiction, positive or negative, I would maybe frame it this way. It's like, flow expands you, the opposite contracts you. Yeah, that's great, that's great. Okay, so when you can make the clear goals list, your daily to do list and auto tele experience, meaning the completion of all the items on your clear goals list generates is joyful drops you into flow. So it becomes its own motivation. That's my goal. If I can get you to there, right, you're dangerous. So one of the things that happens and I, you guys are going to totally agree with me on this, what you get from that clear goals list. I'm not talking about like I got everything done on my list today, but I've now done it for
Starting point is 01:14:56 like five years in a row. And you like, you know what happens if you get everything done in your clear goals list day after day after day, you get way more done than you could possibly shake a stick at. You end up looking back on your five years and you're like, look what I did. When you take criticism and you've got that kind of track record where your clear goals list is automatic and you've done that, because what really gets built with that is the confidence that you can produce at a really high level. You can meet your goals.
Starting point is 01:15:29 This is the other thing people don't realize. They set goals. If you don't meet your goals, you're training your brain that it's okay to not meet your goals. You're training your brain that's okay to be a loser, right? To not be who you want to be, not live the way you are. You're always teaching yourself something, right? You're either teaching yourself this is the good way to go or this is the bad way to go. We don't accomplish our goals. I always tell people
Starting point is 01:15:56 don't ever, ever, ever speak your goal out loud unless you're absolute. Like if I say it out loud, my word is my bond. It's's gonna get done no matter what. And it's not even about as much about integrity or honesty or all those things that matter. It's about the fact that if I set a goal and I don't accomplish it, I'm training my brain that it's okay to not accomplish goals. And your brain as an energy efficient engine,
Starting point is 01:16:20 once you start not accomplishing your goals and your brain goes, oh, it's okay if you don't accomplish your goals, I don't even need to generate the energy. So if you break your word to yourself, every time you set a goal and you don't keep it, you're breaking your word to yourself. You're training your brain. It's okay to fail. It's fine to fail.
Starting point is 01:16:39 That's just fine. And after a little while, your brain goes, Oh, you're not going to succeed anyways, because you just say this shit. It's not real. We're not even going to bother getting in the fight. It works the same way. You understand that the neuroscience of mindset, right? If you have a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset, when they look in the brains of people with fixed mindsets, when things go wrong, they don't learn from their mistakes because the brain doesn't even turn on the learning machinery because why waste the energy? If you've got a fixed mindset that you can't grow, you believe your talent is innate, there's nothing you can do, you can't grow from this,
Starting point is 01:17:14 so your brain just stops producing the energy completely. This is Carol Dweck's work. And we also discovered if you have a fixed mindset, it blocks flow for the same reason. So these are two of the things that we've discovered along the way. People with a regular gratitude practice and people with a growth mindset have way more flow. One of the things people always ask me is like, how do you accomplish so much in so little time? And I'm like, it's pretty simple. My most open app on my phone is my calculator. I love math and I love KPIs. I love reverse engineering, whether that's getting to 10% body fat soon to be 8%,
Starting point is 01:17:48 whether that's these massive goals. Did a billion in revenue, I need 2,000 technicians doing 500,000 a year. So I got this, what would need to be true for this goal to happen, a smart goal, specific, meaningful, attainable, realistic, with a timely basis. My goals are stretch goals.
Starting point is 01:18:03 Everything's a time goal. But mathematically, it's already been done. It's been manifested. It's just these are the steps. So I always tell people, we talked about the challenge skills balance, right? There's actually a number. So Chick sent me a high put a number on it. We with a Google mathematician, they were like, when your challenge is 4% greater than your skills. That's the sweet spot for maximizing flow and focus. So, and Tommy, you were talking about this earlier, you and I both set these impossible goals, like really crazy, big, high, hard goals, but you chunk it down. So what's the best piece today is 4%, right? Four to 5%. In fact, my favorite story is
Starting point is 01:18:42 Alex Honnold, who everybody knows from free solo, right? So I like the half dumb story. So 10 years before he climbed El Cap, he free soloed half dumb in 2012. So half dumb Yosemite takes about most climbers, about a day and a half to climb it, they bring portal ledges, they sleep on the side of the wall. Alex free soloed it. So no portal ledges, no ropes. You fall, you die.
Starting point is 01:19:04 Everything's through the roof. Most people take about a day and a half to climb it. Well, Alex frees like if you see Stephen wants the craziest most impossible thing you've ever seen anything you do. That's the one I mean, maybe there are others, but like for my money, that's the thing that I like it. I'm just like, if you ask Alex, how did you do it? Like how the hell do you do these impossible things? He'll say the same thing. It's like 4% plus 4% plus 4% day after day, week after week, year after year for a career. That's how you do the impossible. That's always how you do the impossible. There's no other formula. This is how we're designed to work. So it's always four to 5% at a time. In fact, if you try to go 10% or 20%, you're actually going to stall out because it's too
Starting point is 01:19:58 much anxiety, too much cortisol, too much norepinephrine, and you're going to block performance. And when I say block performance, let me give you the example. So I'm going to get a little neuro geeky technical here, but my favorite structure in the brain is the anterior cingulate cortex. Why is because it chooses when we make decisions, are we going to make the logical linear tried true safe secure decision or are we going to do something creative and interesting? It makes this decision based on how much fear you have.
Starting point is 01:20:29 If you've got too much fear, your brain starts to limit your options. We all know this, the extreme example is fight or flight. You're really freaked out so your brain says, oh, no, no, no, three options. You can flee, you can freeze, or you can fight. That's all you can do. What we don't realize is that all fear does that. Your brain goes, oh, I'm scared. Give me something that worked last time. Let me give you the conservative choice.
Starting point is 01:20:55 As entrepreneurs, I'm a big fan of what Branson said and we wrote about this. You definitely want to protect the downside. I think you want to find ways to protect the downside. But as entrepreneurs, you're looking for the creative, interesting solution that keeps you sort of ahead. If too much fear, it completely blocks that. So, you get really logical, you get really linear. I always tell, I think it's a hiring practice, I always tell my team, remember we're hiring two people. You're hiring the person when everything is going well and they're in a good mood. And you're hiring the person when they're terrified and scared.
Starting point is 01:21:32 So I always, usually if you want to come work with me, we're going to put you through a fairly rigorous test trial period. And in that trial period, I'm going to overload you. I'm going to scare you a little bit. And it's not that I need you to succeed. I don't give a shit if you can pull the task off or not pull the task off. How do you respond? How are you when you're scared?
Starting point is 01:21:56 Because the employees who totally shut down and get really, really selfish and really logical, which is most people when they're scared, I don't want to work with them. Those are not my people. That's not helpful because the things I do for a living, we move really, really, really fast and there are high consequences and you roll the dice a lot and when you're writing books and you're doing things in public, there's consequences. You know what I mean? We're playing with live ammo and we're training the best of the best of the best of the best of the best. And like they're playing with live ammo, right? Also, like their lives are
Starting point is 01:22:30 live. I always remind them, but like there are lives at the other end of this conversation. There's a question. I'll never forget this. I was 17 or 18 and I wouldn't work for Cheesecake Factory as a busboy. One of the questions they said is, you said scenario, and there's no right answer. Client comes in, potential customer wants to get sat. You got food that's ready, that needs to get delivered to the table. You also got someone asking where the restroom is. You also realize a server has been double sat. How do you react to that?
Starting point is 01:23:01 And really the answer is, there's no right answer. It's just, I rely on my team. I do this. It's an order of operations. There's no wrong answer. When people just don't know, they're like, they can't critically think about a solution. And that's what I'm looking for is people that can critically think on their feet. So scenario based is what are you going to do in this scenario? Because you take a step back. When we talk about checklists, you know, I rely a lot on Google calendar. Almost, I counted the things the other day, and I think it's a little too much. 23 things in my calendar.
Starting point is 01:23:29 And now talking to you, I'm like, I probably need four hours of nothing. Except for those big things to get done that day. Yeah. Let's talk about how to set a clear goals list. Okay. You said we started this conversation with what are the float? Where do you start? One more flow in your life where you start.
Starting point is 01:23:44 We've actually covered two-thirds of my answer Complete concentration. So like I always start with distraction management start with the simple stuff The only thing I the caveat if you're burned out and most of us burned out Start by sort of calming your nervous system down getting sleeping right start there Then the next thing complete concentration is how you sort of prep the space for, oh, I'm going to go in here, this is my focus time. Challenge skills balance is how you attack your project, right? I always like to automate.
Starting point is 01:24:16 So I'll give you an example. I'm a fairly, things have to be pretty straightforward and simple for me. So when I say clear goals, I said I start my day writing, right? So my first day is write my whatever book I'm writing. If I'm starting the book, it's right 500 to 600 words, because that's 4%. So and the reason as a writer is in the way I write, usually about 350 400 words, you have to transition between ideas. Go from idea one to idea two. That's the hardest thing for a writer. That's the most complicated thing.
Starting point is 01:24:47 So I can write 350 words in my sleep, but at around 350, I gotta transition you out of that paragraph into a new set of ideas, into whatever. That's hard. That's gonna catch me. It's gonna take some elbow grease. If I'm in the middle of the book and I know more of what I'm doing, I write 700 to 800 words a day, maybe a thousand. And at the end of the book, I know what the what I'm doing. I write 700 to 800 words a day, maybe a thousand.
Starting point is 01:25:06 And at the end of the book, I know what the fuck I'm doing. So it's 1500 words a day. So when it says, you know, first list of my thing, clear goals list is write the new novel. Goals are clear. So when you say clear goals, the reason the point is not a daily to do list and why do we call it a clear goals list? Clarity is what matters. It's a focus game.
Starting point is 01:25:26 You're playing a focus game with your brain. What should your brain pay attention to now? What should you pay attention to next? That's why clarity matters. The goal matters a lot less than the clarity. So I usually it's like 500 words that leave readers feeling so excited. This comes the outcome. No, you don't This comes as the outcome.
Starting point is 01:25:45 No, you don't want to focus on outcome. You want to focus on process sort of. I will, 500 words is an outcome, but it's not, it's not, I'm going to write 500 words that like get me on the New York Times bestseller list. I just want to write 500 words that maybe make my reader feel curious or scared or empathetic or whatever. Like that's what I, that's my clear goals list.
Starting point is 01:26:06 It's sort of this much done and this feeling to the reader. That's all I need. So now we've talked about what a clear goal is. I said before, if you can start your work day in accordance with your circadian rhythms, because it's hard to fight against your own physiology. Start with your hardest task. So your first thing is your biggest win.
Starting point is 01:26:27 And remember that energy and willpower diminish over time. So you want to go in order from the hardest sort of the easiest. This is the most important thing. Tommy, do a trial period. Spend like two to three weeks and ask yourself, how many things can I do in a day and still be excellent in all of them? Because what you don't want to do is put more shit on your clear goals list than you can actually accomplish and be a great.
Starting point is 01:26:54 If you want to be a peak performer, set yourself up to win. If you know in an average day, based on what you do for a living, you can get eight to 10 things done, that's your clear goals list. Now, two caveats here. First one, if it takes energy, it goes on the list. That's the point. You have a limited energy budget. So a lot of people won't be like, okay, have discussion with my wife about what to do about my son's drinking problem. Isn't going to go on most people's clear goals list, but it's got to because it's going to go on most people's clear goals list, but it's got to because it's going to take a massive, that's a freaking hard conversation.
Starting point is 01:27:29 It's going to take a ton of energy, right? So like working out needs to go on your goal list. Why? Because it's going to take a bunch of energy, right? And this you're just, it's energy management we're doing with this thing, right? It's focused and energy management. And then the most important thing is once you figured out, oh, I can do nine things in a day and be excellent at them, once you've done those nine things, you've won your day. Now it's time to shut it down and recover. You have to be able to tell your brain, okay, you've done enough. This is a win. You pulled it off. Now turn off. Now recover. Let me calm down my nervous system. Let me have this active recovery protocol. Let me be able to
Starting point is 01:28:11 sleep at night, take your mind off this stuff. And one of the reasons that's so important is the brain has a built-in pattern recognition system. So you do a lot of problem solving. Once you can get your conscious mind off the problem and let your subconscious chew on stuff. One of the reasons I'm such an extreme lark is I always tell people, I'm not the guy. If you're having a crisis and you need somebody to come into the room and solve that problem right there, then I'm not the guy. If you can wait a night problem right there, then I'm not the guy. If you can wait a night to solve the crisis, I'm absolutely the best guy you can find for it.
Starting point is 01:28:49 That's what I need to sleep on it. And I can wake up and my subconscious will solve the problems for me. So we talked a lot about goals. We talked about bite size goals. We talked about three types of goals. You know, and one of the definitions you put in one of your books was the ultimate condition for accomplishing the impossible is flow. The ultimate condition for accomplishing the impossible.
Starting point is 01:29:11 And how do you eat a elephant when one bite and it's like, and I think that's really what we're talking about. 4% of the time, man. So here's a summary of a few things. Number one is you're absolutely right. When I got a clean office, when I got my beds made, when things are done right, when the meals are served right, when I get the right sleep, when the hydration is working right, like all these things compounded in more productivity. I find myself exactly like you said, I hit a wall and it just turns off. Like I cannot do this.
Starting point is 01:29:38 Sometimes I like the people are trying to rein me in and say, you're the one that set up this 14 hour day. So I had a, my biggest thing is like, I have a hard time saying, no, I think you do. Oh yeah. Especially with like people that, Hey, I need a minute. I'm overly accommodating to my own demise at times so much. And like I see a guy like Dan and a lot of these people, they're like, no, they say no. And Dan told me, he goes, you need to practice. He goes, what is your most important thing he goes it's probably keeping my word and he goes so that's the first thing we're
Starting point is 01:30:10 going to break he goes you need to practice breaking your word because if you promise the neighbor you're going to mow their lawn for the next four years you need to figure out a way and say your time has changed and you need to pay them back find somebody else to do it figure out a way out of that Because that's your demise is your word is your bond you're making that statement So what happens if you're helping out a that's not fair to everyone else around you. That's not fair to your company That's not very your parents. It's not fair to breathe So that's one thing I'm really working on and it sounds bad breaking your promise breaking your word But it's not leaving somebody high and dry. That's not the goal. But I'm just trying to work through these things
Starting point is 01:30:51 It's very hard because if you say my word is my bond my word is my everything that you're telling your brain You can never break it. Well, let me say something to this because I mean it could be semantics It could be you know, I would look at it as we're always if we are growing and succeeding or bigger opportunities Come along the way that you you have to triage stuff whatever you renegotiate yeah I think it appears to hear your take on the terminology of breaking what you work you don't want your brain to be like I don't keep my word and at the same time the most you got to keep your words self absolutely most importantly right right it's I mean I think keeping a word to me would be walking away from the neighbor and being like, fuck you.
Starting point is 01:31:26 You know what I mean? I don't cut grass anymore. Yeah. I fixed garage doors. I'm better than you. Know what I mean? Like that's, that's breaking your word. You're sort of renegotiating and trying to fulfill on your promise and take care
Starting point is 01:31:38 of the person, but you're just trying to restrata does how you do it. Restrata. Yeah. That's a different, I'm thinking about that different. You're trying to free yourself up. If you've overcommitted the shit out of yourself. And I think we're notorious for our eyes for opportunity or bigger than our ability to logistically digest it all. And we're, we're all curious.
Starting point is 01:31:55 The only reason I've been, the only reason I'm not as screwed on that one as other people is because I came up as a book writer and books are Matt, like they're, you know, in the beginning. I mean, now I can write a book in a year, but in the beginning it was three, four, five, six, these were, you know, projects that, and this was all what I could do like six, seven hours a day. So there was a limited amount of time and it sort of taught me one of the things that I think of and who won't think about it this way, but you think about like, how do we define
Starting point is 01:32:23 our lives? Like what are the defining things for me? Our lives are much more defined by what we say no to than what we say yes to. We say yes to very few things. You're going to say yes to how many partners over the course of a lifetime. There are not a lot of yeses compared to the amount of nos. You're saying you walk into a bookstore, you're saying no to most of the books.
Starting point is 01:32:47 You're going to walk out with two or three books. You go see a movie, you're saying no to 30 movies, you're saying yes to one of them. We're defined by our nos way more than our yeses. I just think about it that way a lot, which makes no a little more empowering. It doesn't like sort of like, I'm a people pleaser too, right? I grew up in a, you know, it was scary at home. It was scary at school. And so like the first thing I want to do is make sure you're happy. You're okay. So you're not going to kick my teeth in because I'm not a particularly big guy and I don't like losing fights.
Starting point is 01:33:20 Yeah. You know, I love this stuff. There's so much we keep going on. I mean to understand this state Everyone feels it everyone has it and when you get into it, it's like you're happy But I do agree with you and the science I guess backs it up But if you're not creating and you're just taking this linear path and you shut off this This creative side then you really go nowhere I find people just I think let me just ask you one question. Does a lot of it have to do with trust and getting burned along the way? Because like, if you can't trust people to get things done, I know a lot of people think if they don't do it, it won't get done right. There's no delegation skills.
Starting point is 01:33:57 There's no ability and people let you down and no one will do it as good as you. And a lot of people are closed. Most people in business and rely on themselves. They become the worker. I mean, this is Michael Gerber. Like you come in as the worker and you stay in that worker mode versus entrepreneur mode. Have you noticed any of that is like the power of delegation? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:16 I mean, like, this is a hard one, but I have found, I'll give a Joe example. So I'll just give a marketing example. I have found, I'll give a Joe example. So I'll just give a marketing example. So I wrote three cult classics in three different genres before I had a best seller. And the first best seller I had was a Bund, which I co-wrote with Peter. Now, most people don't ever manage to write
Starting point is 01:34:36 one cult classic in their lifetime, let alone three in three different areas, which sounds really fancy, but it tells you is I couldn't fucking find the mainstream with two hands and a flashlight. Like where tells you is I couldn't fucking find the mainstream with two hands on a flashlight. Where are people? I couldn't do it. I couldn't figure out where are...
Starting point is 01:34:50 I'm a weird dude. I can write these little sliver for super niche books for these people over here, these people over here, but I had to partner with Peter. Peter was like, no, no, the mainstream is over here. We're going to write abundance for everybody. It's wide. I didn't know how to do that, nor did I know how to market it. So when I partnered with Peter, Peter partnered with Joe.
Starting point is 01:35:11 This was 10 years ago, 12 years ago, when you were doing a lot more fear-based stuff that I was morally and ethically. Joe will tell you this, like we butted heads. We liked each other. We butted heads a lot. We first met each other because I had all kinds of ethical qual. We first met each other because I had
Starting point is 01:35:25 all kinds of ethical qualms, moral qualms, and I had standards. It's got to be one of the things that I learned. But what I decided with Abundance was, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. These guys clearly do. So I'm going to watch Peter and Joe and everybody else sell the hell out of this book. I'm going to figure out exactly what they're doing. And then I'm going to make it my own and do it my own way, which is exactly what I did in my next book was rises, man, and all the things without all that stuff. But I had to go through a period where I was like the stuff that was out there.
Starting point is 01:35:55 That was representing me. I wasn't comfortable with any of it for really, for a while, but I needed to go through that period to sort of like, this is what's okay. This is what's not okay. This is the same thing with delegation. You have to, most people don't realize, and I guess if you do this public speaking a lot, you know, you guys both know this, as long as your mouth keeps moving, like you could stop making sense for a good like three, four minutes, but as long as
Starting point is 01:36:20 your mouth keeps moving, you look like, you know, what you're talking about. 95% of the people are not going to even notice. I'm not telling you to do this, but you can literally stand on a stage and start going from English to like a Rebo Hoppin' Floppy. And most people aren't going to notice as long as you like presented as if you write. Nobody is paying as much attention as you are. And you start to realize that there's certain things where 100% quality... You know what I mean? When I'm training customers, if you don't come out the other end with more flow in your life, I did not do my job at all.
Starting point is 01:36:55 I've got no wiggle room on that one. I got to deliver that 100% of the time. But there are certain things where if I'm putting out a video, no, I can actually, I can do it at 70% because it's going to be pretty effective and that 30% of perfectionism isn't actually going to make that much of a difference because it's a piece of marketing copy and it's still deadly effective. Now, yes, I'll A, B test it and figure out how to get it better, but there are certain things that you have to go, oh, I can trust my employees to do this
Starting point is 01:37:27 because it doesn't have to be 100% out of go because we can test our way, our iterative way, our learner way, our having adventure together. And sometimes I do this with the people I get to work with. I'm like, look, there is no possible way we're gonna get it right out of the gate. We're just not gonna get it right out of the gate. That's rare. What is that quote? Perfect is the enemy of. Good it right out of the gate. We're just not going to get it right out of the gate. That's rare.
Starting point is 01:37:45 What is that quote? Perfect is the enemy of good is the enemy of the great. Good is better to be prolific than it is to be perfect. I mean, there's many different ways. The idea about it is no one knows how to get started for the most part. It's got to be perfect. We're not ready for that. We're just not ready. And I'm like the type of guys we are. We jump out of a plane, we build a parachute on the way down. I'm like, shoot, ready, aim. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I mean, I think this is a really important point, especially because I know we're coming to an end here shortly.
Starting point is 01:38:15 So for people listening, we are. Or are you just we're going to be here all day. Yeah, I know. I know he needs to go. I know he's got to go to San Diego. I love this. I'm politely looking out for Tommy at the moment But but now that we brought it up publicly, we'll just keep going with it now. So getting started
Starting point is 01:38:31 There's always you know, the man in the arena You know if you've never read man in the arena just type a man in the arena online read the thing by Theodore Roosevelt I mean, that's what makes a difference I mean we're a while and when it comes to ethics Let's talk about the book because I am the term Enthusiasm covers many deficiencies is something that my friend Dave Kekich said so being in a flow state You're gonna be happier. You're gonna be more enthusiastic You're gonna be more connected when it comes to say no you can say no without being an asshole You can use some evaluation of like, you know, what's the short term and long term?
Starting point is 01:39:04 You definitely want to protect yourself. You want to keep the word to yourself. All that is critically important. And marketing, like for instance, with your book, hype used ethically, if you want to use the word hype, which normally has a negative connotation, hype used ethically is massive enthusiasm for what you're selling hype used unethically as lying, bullshitting, misleading, exaggerating things that simply aren't true.
Starting point is 01:39:26 And I literally revolt against bad marketers that are misleading people because I think cruel optimism, I can't remember the woman's name who coined that term, cruel optimism where you're promising the moon to people and it ain't going to come true. False hope is terrible. It hurts people, right? And so with Abundance, my job with helping to put that book on New York Times with Peter, your book, was to basically look at all of the parts of it and influence people in the things that were significant.
Starting point is 01:39:54 Think of people because Tommy not only spends a tremendous amount on marketing, but he's trying to not only help build a better home service professional and help his clients, but he's also wanting to show them how to package themselves to get people to be attracted to you, to do business with you, not just clients for home service, but hiring technicians and building the right culture. So like for 20 years, I got all this resistance when I would talk about selling and marketing because people have all had bad, negative experiences with, you know, people love to be sold, they hate to be pressured, or people that are lying to them.
Starting point is 01:40:26 So I say it today, like, think of selling as influence. Think of marketing as storytelling. If you're more influential, you're going to do a better job with anything. It doesn't need to be even money involved. It could be with your kids. It could be with yourself. And think of marketing as storytelling. You know, tell a story that enrolls people, not something that bores the
Starting point is 01:40:45 shit out of them. And I think it's this, we wake up every day and do a sales job to ourselves. You're going to do the hardest thing in the morning. You have to do a bit of a sales job. You have to influence yourself. And you've learned why that is so important. The 4%. By the way, the other thing is why do I want to go bed to desk that quickly? Because I got to do the hardest thing. And if I start thinking about what I have to do, right, I could get into my head, I could like paralysis by analysis. Right. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:41:12 So like one of the reasons is, I mean, I look, one of the reasons I going bed to desk is I'm a creative and I want to be in flow. You wake up with your brain in alpha and flow is at the alpha theta borderline. It's a slower brain wave. So when you wake up, it goes up to beta flow is at the alpha theta borderline. It's a slower brain wave. So when you wake up, it goes up to beta. It's a fast moving brain wave. So like you're actually more flow prone first thing in the morning. Most people it's totally killed because the minute they look at their phone,
Starting point is 01:41:37 the minute that that don't mean that anticipation, that curiosity, that fear, you've just blown it. It's just gone. Right. So like I'll do it sometimes too. This is the classic Stephen fuck up. I'll put something on the Insta Google tweet face that's getting a lot of attention yesterday. So I'll wake up in the morning and while my coffee is brewing, I'll be like, oh, let's
Starting point is 01:42:00 check the post because I've got like two minutes. Right. And if yesterday's good fortune will lure me back, that's the one where that's the trap I'll get caught on. Um, cause I want the good feeling. I want that, like, I want that little bit of a rush. That's what I'm going after. And it's stupid. It's a, it's false hope. But I, you know, I've learned not to do it at all, but that's the one that'll, that'll screw me up.
Starting point is 01:42:23 I was, um, we'll close out here soon. I was reading an article about Elon Musk and it said a guy that works really, really close to him for a long time, for over a decade. They said his ability, most people take two weeks to make a decision. Like a big, big decision. These big decisions he makes in 30 minutes. He walked into the Twitter like location and they said, you can't move. You can't move out of this building and all these restrictions and he said
Starting point is 01:42:47 We just unplug here. We'll see if Twitter goes out. You unplugged all the servers. It stayed up he just this idea of making decisions quickly and What I find is when I'm stressed and I have anxiety is because I'm lacking the ability to make decisions quickly Like there's something festering So the more I listen to that good voice, that hard voice that says, no drinking, get your sleep, go on the cold plunge, do your long walk, the easier it is to do harder things that day.
Starting point is 01:43:13 It's like, it starts to compound and it starts to get easier. Well, that's the flow. I always tell the people that's with, so, NAR country, right? NAR country is a diary essentially, right? I took on an impossible challenge at age 53. I decided I was going to teach myself how to park ski, train park skiing, which is supposed to be impossible for a bunch of different reasons over the age of 25, 30.
Starting point is 01:43:35 And I've been reading all these studies on what we now know about aging. And I was like, well, wait a minute, if all this stuff, I mean, like 5,000 papers said I should be able to do this, but nobody ever read the common perception was possible. But that book is written as a diary. Why is it written as a diary? In a sense, like goes day by day through the season. It's because the hardest challenge I have with our clients, really with anybody who I'm talking to performance with is peak performance is exactly what you just said, Tommy, it's
Starting point is 01:44:03 compound interest. You get a little bit farther ahead today, a little farther ahead tomorrow, but it's so, I mean, flow massively amplifies it. We found that people can get into a couple of micro flow and maybe a macro flow state a day. So you've got like three sort of like 90 minute blocks where you're like 500% more productive than you normally are. And that sure, maybe it's like one extra
Starting point is 01:44:26 thing you're getting done on your to-do list a day, but like you get through a week of that, it's five extra things that you've done that the next guy hasn't done. I always tell people that all this stuff is like, it's a little bit at a time, but if I'm doing five extra things a week, right? It's one a day, I'm getting five a week, it's 20 a month, multiply it out by a year, right? It's why sometimes I remember when I first sort of like came into like the peak performance space and you'd meet top performers and you'd see what like in a year,
Starting point is 01:44:58 they would like, we'd start at the same place and they would be like 17 miles ahead of me. And I was like, how the hell, what is it's compound interest. Yeah, it's just, it's right. So that's, I mean, that's the other reason like, why do I stick by the clear goals? Why am I always going to like walk my dog and get my exercise and get my seven, eight hours? It's all that stuff. Cause ultimately I, you know, Stuart Brand once said only enduring happiness is the satisfaction of a job well done. And I agree, long term,
Starting point is 01:45:28 what sticks with me, right? What sticks with me? What are the things I'm deeply proud of? I'm deeply proud of my marriage. I've been married for 20 years. It's fucking hard to be married for 20 years. There were years where it was a daily struggle to stay in that marriage and make it work. I'm really proud of the 14 books. Each one of those took a year to three years to like whatever. Like those are the things I'm really proud of. All the like little bits. Like when I work, I work with an editor and we'll do a marathon session. I'll be like, oh, I've got another chapter, but we've been working for like four hours. week. You know, let's call it what you should be like, you're not going to remember this later. Like this is, you're not even going to know this tomorrow.
Starting point is 01:46:12 You're going to not even remember that we put an extra half an hour in and you felt shitty. You're just going to remember that you've got the work done. Right. Right. Do you care about the shitty feeling that's only temporary or do you want it? And I'm like, Oh, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:24 Well, of course we're going to put the extra half an hour. It's not even, it's a no brainer. Like it wants you, and I think most people are this way. They just don't know how to weigh their choices properly based on their actual happiness. I'll give you another example. This is a exercise I do when I train people in peak performance aging and it shocks me. So one of the things I do is I make people write down their 10 favorite feelings on a rack, right? Not your favorite activities, your favorite feelings,
Starting point is 01:46:49 because you get slightly different things. So I'll give you an example. When I made this list for the first time, laughing with my best friend ended up like being number two on my list. If you were asking what my favorite activities are, laughing with my best friend would have not made the list, right?
Starting point is 01:47:04 That like, it wouldn't have come to me that way. So what I tell people is you want to massively increase the quality of your life, make a top 10 list of your 10 favorite feelings and say no to everything that's not on the top 10 list. Because why would you waste time on like your 27th favorite activity or favorite feeling when you could actually go get more of the top 10? you trying to go for like quality of life. That's a really simple metric. It's a really simple way to sort of like map things out. My problem with that, just thinking about that is like, I do not really get a
Starting point is 01:47:38 whole, I got satisfaction when I get out of the cold plunge, but I don't love the feeling when I first get in. And I don't love the feeling of sitting in that sauna past 17 minutes. I don't love the feeling. A lot of the feelings, but I've been minutes. 17 minutes. I don't know. He's basing this on some type of research.
Starting point is 01:47:56 I don't know what. Okay. Okay. Cause I've heard the ideal time is like 18 minutes. But in what temperature? Uh, I said about 135. Yeah. It was 17.
Starting point is 01:48:05 I think it was one 35. Really? Sweden or Switzerland or whether, you know, cold plunging is three to five minutes. I got read of funny stories as we're talking. So this is just random, but so I opened at the biggest, biggest business conference in Europe for Obama and the guy who was interviewing Obama on stage. I think we were in Sweden, I want to say it was the guy who used to run IKEA, I could be wrong, might've been a different
Starting point is 01:48:29 company. But you know, saunas are like the natural national culture once you get into like Sweden, Norway. Oh yeah. Right. The guy spent the first 10 minutes of the interview with Obama, mind you, 75,000 people in the like, we're in like a stadium. And then there are like millions watching
Starting point is 01:48:45 online. He's got Obama for I don't know half an hour. The first 10 minutes for trying to get convinced Obama to take a sauna with him. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen was trying to watch a president get out of like getting into a sauna with some strange dude he's never met before. Especially if you're not they'll grow up in a sauna culture. Yeah, like hey, let's go take a sauna together is not really the line you want you want other present one of the funnier things I've ever seen so what were we talking about right prior to like my Obama no no like 10 favorite feelings you
Starting point is 01:49:16 said laughing with your best friend and now that's that's something to do that's not per se well feeling are you saying write down the things you like? I know the feelings of joy or like whatever. I mean, I just found that like laughing my best friend I also found there were a couple things on my list that I was like, oh Give us some examples. Um, well, I mean so here's here's the biggest frame for me and this was the biggest the number one on my list was was powder skiing and Here's what really blew my mind about this This is sort of one of the things that led me to start looking. Flow is very involved in successful aging. So like everybody
Starting point is 01:49:51 who studied flow including, you know, me, I check some, I'm one of my mentors, but the end of their life, his career, he was work, everybody's working on this adult development in the second half of your life. And flow is one of the big drivers of adult development. So it's how we do this successfully. That's where this knowledge came from. But years ago, I made this list and number one was powder skiing. I realized at the time, great powder days show up seven times a year and or maybe they show up 10 times a year, but I only managed to like get to the mountain six or seven times a year. So let's say I got there seven times a year.
Starting point is 01:50:26 And at the time I was doing this calculation, I want to say I was 50, 57 now. So average men are going to live to 82, right? That's on average. So let's just say it's average. I had 32 more, 32 years. She had about 210 times. Exactly. So I realized, well, I've got all these whizbang
Starting point is 01:50:45 friends who are doing longevity shit. So maybe I get an extra 10 years, right? So maybe we can say it's 40 years and I get to do my favorite activity 280 times more period if everything works perfectly. That's not a very big number. No. Right? It's really not a big number. So what's the better take advantage of, you know what I did? I put a giant countdown clock on the wall in my office. It shows powder stays till death. So I'm always like, is really a way of focusing my attention on like what matters. And it also like, what it does is it stops me. I'm a workaholic like, like us and I, a lot of my satisfaction
Starting point is 01:51:24 and joy comes from that. So I don us and a lot of my satisfaction and joy comes from that. So I don't take a lot of time off. And oftentimes when I do take time off, it's because I've said yes to somebody. Hey, Stephen, do you want to come to the Genius Network thing and hang right? Like it's those kinds of things. So that list of 10 things allows me to filter or it's like a vision board. What do I say yes to? What do I say? No. Yeah, that was it a vision board. What do I say yes to? What do I say?
Starting point is 01:51:45 No. Yeah. That was, it's a framework for how do I say no to delicious things? Yeah. And, and everything you say yes to, like we talked earlier, everything you say yes to you say no to something else. I mean, if you say yes to this interview right now, we're saying no to everything else we could do during that time and every Tommy has to make that decision
Starting point is 01:52:02 every day, you have to do it. And so I think, you know, the, the analogy I use with the million dollar race horse, which is if you had a million dollar race horse and every time that horse ran a race and won, you'd make a million dollars. Then the question is, how would you get there? You would have the best trainers, you have the best nutrition plan, you have the rest, rejuvenation, relaxation. You wouldn't have the horse up till 3 a.m. watching porn, smoking
Starting point is 01:52:25 cigarettes, drinking alcohol. You would not have the horse hanging out with loser horses. You'd have the horse in the right races. The race selection of where you put your time, attention, money, effort, and energy is critical. So the key is the million dollar race horse in a flow state is a badass. The million dollar race horse not in a flow state is a life of pain angst and just not winning, right? So I think this whole conversation accumulates with how do you win? How do you you know and I say this is a joke to young people and it's kind of funny and I almost do it To remind myself is like if I would have known being successful was this much work. I would have stuck with being a loser You know Nvidia the CEO says if I would have known business this hard, there's no way I'd do it
Starting point is 01:53:05 Yeah, and at the same says if I would have known business, it's hard. There's no way I'd do it again. Yeah. And at the same time I say that funnily, but I'm actually kind of like, you're glad you wrote the 14 books. You're glad that so it's, it's like Somerset Mod, I think said, I don't like writing, I like having written. Yeah. I like writing. The famous one is, is Hiller, sir.
Starting point is 01:53:20 I've been Hillary. There are people who like climbing Everest and there are people who like having climbed Everest. Yeah. Right. And by the way, I've been Hillary. There are people who like climbing Everest and there are people who like having climbed Everest. Yeah. Right. And by the way, I might've misquoted something because I think that it may or may not be Somerset mod that said it. Cause I know my buddy, Steven Pressfield says it's that Somerset mod also I
Starting point is 01:53:35 think said it's not the writing that's hard at sitting down to write. That's hard. But just, I mean, to me, like I love the writing. What's hard is the fact that like, when the book is finished, the job is only half done. Like the marketing of the book is equally difficult and takes the exact, usually if it takes me like four years to write a book, it's going to take about four years to promote it. This is one of the things people don't get about books is they're not like TV shows.
Starting point is 01:54:03 Like people, you can't, nobody, it's not like a new album and everyone's going to go home and listen to the song in four minutes. They take a while. You were talking yesterday about like you're a slow reader, right? One of my new books comes out and you're a good friend of mine and you like my work a lot. I know you're not going to read it with, it's going to take like six months to a year before you actually get through my book.
Starting point is 01:54:24 So I know when I put a book out that it's going to take six years to percolate through the world minimum. And I've got a like, that's my marketing window, right? So however long I wrote it, I'm still like working for that book for an equally long period. So I go to this question, who, not how, when somebody says that's impossible, I say, if I gave you a hundred million dollars and I gave you access to a hundred of the most, the best specialist in this, I would not say, like I called you all the time, like who's the best at this. And I paid for access. I mean, literally like if you take money out of the equation, it's like, why would you not go, if you want to learn how to serve, why not go with the best that knows how to
Starting point is 01:55:01 get you from zero to hero the quickest? I think a lot of people they go They want to say no because they say that's just not possible. And if you get the right people around you Like if you got the best marketer in the world that's known for doing books They only work with free clients a year You can probably get that time from four years down to three. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you you can definitely do it I will also say like One of the things that really shaped me was was my friendship
Starting point is 01:55:26 with Peter because I've known Peter since like he you know but we were both in our 20s when we met and the X-Prize I met Peter right when he founded the X-Prize and I won't go into this there's a long story but like at this point everybody in the world thought Peter was full of shit and because of this weird experience I had had where I'd had a lot of access right before I met Peter, a bunch of aerospace engineers who all told me what Peter was saying was possible. And they were all sort of like rebel misfits engineers. So like the mainstream was saying what Peter was saying was impossible. But this whole group and I was like, these guys know what they're talking about. Because I watched them, I watched them drive a car
Starting point is 01:56:03 through the sound there. And if you that's harder than putting a spaceship into space. So I was like, OK, this thing is possible. So I met Peter on the first time I met him. He was like, we're he doesn't he doesn't tow this line now. And he didn't very, very quickly after the express got found. But he was like, we're going to take down NASA. We're going to. It was this crazy, impossible dream. And yet, eight years later, Branson went into space.
Starting point is 01:56:28 So like I really got to live through like I watched my buddy Peter up in the space frontier and like everybody else looked at Peter is like, oh, my God, some kind of God. And I was like, no, no, he's just my friend. He's just like a dude. He's like all the skiers I knew back in Squaw. Like if we lionize people, like if you're a skier and an access sport athlete, like you lionize people like Shane McConkey
Starting point is 01:56:50 or Dean Potter, like the folks I wrote about on the rise of Superman, but like they're goofy fuck-ups when you met them back. You know what I mean? They put their pants on the same way as everybody else. I've met very few people who would actually qualify for the term genius. And you know, most of the ones I've met very few people who would actually qualify for the term genius. And, you know, most of the ones I've met are not particularly good at business or
Starting point is 01:57:10 like they can't really function in the world. I've met a handful of geniuses who can actually like, they're good enough at like being a genius and business that they can pull it off, but very few, right? Very few. I'll tell you what, a lot of people confuse a genius is simply redundancy and keep at it, keep at it, keep at it until there is a skill development, until like the compound interest thing that you mentioned. And like, let's say, you know, Branson swooped in a week before the X-Prize flight, the first one, flew and he licensed the technology. So he didn't even create it.
Starting point is 01:57:42 Yeah. Right. He just licensed it, right? And it was created through this grandiose dream to see if you can pull something off. And the world advances on the backs of its neurotics is something my buddy Gary Halbert would say. And it's, you know, there's a lot of these things. Well, the other thing is also like I had this crazy opportunity because I wrote the very first giant, the first big article on the XPRIZE. So I interviewed all the original XPRIZE teams. There was a Chinese team that was building a rocket out of wood. They were doing really nuts, nuts stuff. I mean, now you look at Bezos and you look at Brantz and you look at Elon and
Starting point is 01:58:16 you think, well, those guys know what they're doing. It was a free-for-all when the XPRIZE got first announced. So it was even more amazing that it got one. Cause when you actually like sat down with like, it was like 20 of the wild-eyed boys from free cloud. They were going to go to the mood and like, and what's amazing about it is it's a billion dollar industry. Trillion dollar industry is going to be a trillion dollar industry pretty soon. Yeah, no, exactly.
Starting point is 01:58:42 That's why I bought the domain name spaceuniversity.com like 12 years ago because I knew it was going to be a big thing one day. Still haven't done much with it yet. So let me say this last thing because I know we need to wrap about space. When I went to the Mojave airport, which I've been to twice, which is like the Silicon Valley of space travel, Stu, who's no longer the, he used to run it, used to be the CEO or whatever his title was there there but he ran it he said we give people permission to come here and die and he was telling that to a whole room of us on the 10th year anniversary of a you know x prize when they won and he said what i mean is that you
Starting point is 01:59:16 know people are going into something if you're going to explore this they're going to die and if they don't have permission to come to a place where they can do that, the world is never going to advance in this particular area. All that being said, how would we take everything related to flow? There are people that are watching this. Tommy recruits them. He's helping them in all kinds of different ways. This could be a very dangerous area, but I think if you live a life without knowing anything about flow
Starting point is 01:59:45 There's a lot of joy you're missing out on and so I think what we've discussed here Is it such an important area of not only human performance and betterment? but just connectivity and feeling freaking amazing in your life and What it's also been like did you not mention that? Yeah, I mentioned just to wrap this up And you can find all this in my book, The Art of Impossible, and you can get more formal training. You can probably find this in a million different podcasts with me. When it comes to flow, flow itself, there's really only two things to know.
Starting point is 02:00:16 What are those flow triggers and how do I just deploy them? And then this is the other thing we were talking about earlier. Flow is a cycle. Starts with a struggle phase, then there's a release phase, then there's the flow state itself, and then there's recovery phase on the back end. That's your map, right? You got to know where you are on the map and what's your toolbox and your flow triggers. So like, oh, I'm in struggle. Okay, what are the triggers that are good here? Oh, I'm in release. What are the triggers that are good here? Oh, it's flow. How do I sustain that for longer? What are the triggers good here? Oh, I'm in struggle. Okay. What are the triggers that are good here? Oh, I'm in release. What are the triggers that are good here?
Starting point is 02:00:46 Oh, it's flow. How do I sustain that for longer? What are the triggers good here? Oh, this is recovery. Well, how do I maximize my recovery? I mean, like that's all you really need to know to do this. It's not a whole lot. And depending on like what your field is and what your work environment is, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 02:01:03 Like those triggers are really, they're fairly easy to deploy. And the other thing I always tell people this, with peak performance, because it's biologically hardwired, I always think of people who come to the Flir Research Collective to train with us, I always say, I don't have a vertical. I've got a horizontal. My customers fit a horizontal. People come to me are usually top 30% in their field and they want to be top 5%.
Starting point is 02:01:27 That tends to be who comes my way. I always tell people, you can't get top 30% of your field, top 40% of your field without doing this stuff because there's no secret weapon. There's just your biology, right? Like you're doing this shit anyways. What you don't realize is there's a map, there's an order, somebody's done the homework for you. You can like, you can hire a guide for this shit.
Starting point is 02:01:50 You don't have to reinvent the wheel here because the neurobiology and the advances we've made in brain science over the past 20 years has allowed us to map it. And if we wanted to tell me a little bit about Zero to Dangerous, so you actually train this and So no, there's a bunchous. So you actually train this and... So no, there's a bunch of different ways you can train with me. The one I do a Flow for Writers course, which is everything. Like Flow for Writers is my favorite course to teach because it started out as a way for thought leaders to write books, right?
Starting point is 02:02:21 Guys such as yourselves who want to write books. And I think I probably help with more books on the New York Times, but I saw that that's in anybody else this time. But it's broadened out to anybody. If you want to write sales copy, you want to advertise and copy marketing, copy blogs, communication of any kind, it's widened out.
Starting point is 02:02:36 So that is an actual live in-person event that I train. When is it? And the next one is in the end of October. So stevencotler.com and just click training. And that's how you find Flow for Writers. And we do it live a couple of times a year. And then we, there's a digital version if that's what you want to go with. But that's if you want to train with me live, the two ways to train with me live is that.
Starting point is 02:02:58 And the other thing is I actually come in and when we work with businesses, I, the way we usually work with companies is I'll come in and I we work with businesses, the way we usually work with companies is I'll come in and I'll train the C-suite. We can go out and train every one of your teams in every location you possibly want and I'll send my coaches out, but I'll train up the C-suite. The interesting thing about working with businesses is when you analyze the companies that are best at this, who's really good at flow. Amazon's good, Google's pretty good, Toyota's great, Patagonia.
Starting point is 02:03:27 There are these 28 flow triggers. When you dig under the hood, you realize that most businesses, and I'm sure your business is this way, and I'm sure your business is this way, if we did the analysis, you would find this, you focused on one or two flow triggers. You haven't, it's not the full menu. You may be aware of the full menu, but you're like, and usually it's the flow triggers that sit in between your strengths, your organizational strengths and your organizational values. So usually when I work with companies, when we go in and most companies know what their values are because they got a mission statement. And if you're a good company, you have your
Starting point is 02:03:59 leadership qualities that you already like. So you have both of those, you know what your strengths are and you know, and if you don't know what your strengths are, I always tell people this is really easy. Think about your five favorite employees, list five traits that they have and look for the ones that they have in common. They're probably going to have one or two in common and those are your strengths. So look for a flow trigger that sits in between your strengths and your values. And here's the cool thing, flow triggers. We talked about challenge skills balance, novel to complexity, unpredictabilities, or other flow triggers. Google is great with the challenge skills balance because anytime you're emphasizing
Starting point is 02:04:33 continual learning, which is what Google does, that's the challenge skills balance. That's how we learn. You walk up the challenge skills balance. They're really big on that. Google's also big on autonomy. That's another flow trigger that they leverage. And autonomy, so this is interesting to know, but autonomy and attention are coupled systems in the brain.
Starting point is 02:04:52 So if you're not actually in charge of your own life and making your own decisions, you can't maximize focus. So Google gets at this really easy, 20% time. The classic Google, like if you work at Google, you spend 20% of time on a company that, on a project that improves Google, but is aligned with your values. That's like autonomy. That's a flow trigger. But what we've discovered is culture matters so much. We've talked a lot about this and a lot of the question is how do you instill a culture? How do you build
Starting point is 02:05:21 the culture you want to build? What we found is that flow triggers turn strengths into values. So if you want to build a culture and you've got organizational strengths, figure out the flow triggers that are going to link to the values you want. And that's how you actually do that. That's how most companies do that. This is the biology underneath it. And all we've done is just sort of like looked at what worked. This is how I, like I was training companies for a while and it was okay. We were good. We weren't great.
Starting point is 02:05:50 And I was like, why are we not great? Like, why are we not great? What's fucking hard about this? And I, so I did a giant, I'm going to white paper it out at some point. I did this giant study on all the companies that were best at it. I was like, Oh, I don't need to train companies on like 28 flow triggers and all this other stuff. I literally need to figure out what are the two triggers that sit in between strength
Starting point is 02:06:09 and values. And then we do active recovery, distraction management, and a couple other things. And I can literally half day full day. And it's a blast. I do it myself because I've it's the results have been so good. It's so fun to lead the workshops. Yeah. Awesome.
Starting point is 02:06:24 I love this. Well, listen, I really appreciate you guys coming in today. This was a great podcast. And we went about two hours and 10 minutes according to Giuseppe. Yeah, I'm just tagging along. I'm giving him a ride because he stayed in my place. I love it. Now, it's genius. And like I can sum it all up.
Starting point is 02:06:43 I mean, literally remove the the distractions do the hard things first Set small goals that compounded a massive goals that have you know change your life and when you reflect back It's the big things that you got done and there's so much more and so many details to some of this two hours But I really appreciate both of you. It was really fun. Appreciate you. Yeah, fantastic Awesome, wish everyone the very best and go get yourself in flow. Get yourself in flow book are powerful and can be applied to any business or organization. It's a real game changer for anyone looking to build and develop a high performing team like over here at A1 Garage Door Service. So if you want to learn the secrets that help me transfer my team from stealing the toilet
Starting point is 02:07:38 paper to a group of 700 plus employees rowing in the same direction, head over to elevateandwin.com forward slash podcast and grab a copy of the book. Thanks again for listening and we'll catch up with you next time on the podcast.

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