The Home Service Expert Podcast - From Addiction to Achievement: How Mental Health Fuels Business Growth
Episode Date: June 14, 2024Dr. Anna Lembke is a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. She appeared in the Netflix documentary The ...Social Dilemma, an unvarnished look at the impact of social media on our lives and is also the author of “Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence,” an instant New York Times Bestseller. In this episode, we talked about addiction psychology, mental illness, treatment, productivity habits...
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I do think that people are sort of innately wired differently.
And that kind of restlessness, if channeled, can lead to intense productivity.
In some ways, those folks are the lucky ones, right?
Because there's a lot of discontent and restlessness that people never learn to channel or never learn to harness.
And so they just are left with that and don't found companies and have this
kind of success. But I think the illusion for people who are able to channel their restlessness
and discontent is that through achievement and validation, they will someday get to the place
where they're no longer restless and no longer
discontent and that's actually the part that's not true that's the myth because really it's just
part of human nature and part of life that we're always a little bit dissatisfied
and that really there's no external achievement that's going to get rid of that,
as my one patient called it, pilot light of anxiety. It's just part of being human.
Welcome to the Home Service Expert, where each week, Tommy chats with world-class entrepreneurs
and experts in various fields, like marketing, sales, hiring, and leadership to find out what's really behind
their success in business. Now, your host, the home service millionaire, Tommy Mello.
Before we get started, I wanted to share two important things with you. First, I want you
to implement what you learned today. To do that, you'll have to take a lot of notes,
but I also want you to fully concentrate on the interview. So I asked the team to take notes for you. Just text NOTES,
N-O-T-E-S, to 888-526-1299. That's 888-526-1299, and you'll receive a link to download the notes
from today's episode. Also, if you haven't got your copy of my newest book, Elevate, please go check it out.
I'll share with you how I attracted and developed a winning team that helped me build a $200 million
company in 22 states. Just go to elevateandwin.com forward slash podcast to get your copy.
Now let's go back into the interview. Okay, here we go. Welcome back to the
Home Service Expert. I've got a really
special treat for us today. Dr. Anna Lemke is a clinical psychiatry, addiction psychology,
and mental illness. She's based in Stanford, California. Professional education, medical
education, Stanford University. She's been practicing in this university school of medicine at Stanford since 1995.
She did her residency and her internship. She's a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University
School of Medicine and chief of Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic.
As a clinician scholar, she has published more than 100 peer-reviewed papers and commentaries.
She sits on a board of several state and national addiction-focused organizations,
keeping an active speaking calendar, and maintains a thriving clinical practice.
Dr. Lemke appeared in the Netflix documentary, The Social Dilemma,
an unvarnished look at the impact of social media on our lives.
She is also the author of Dopamine Nation, Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence,
an instant New York bestseller, New York Times bestseller. Listen, it's an honor to have you
on here. The reason I really wanted to take a deep dive into this is we're all addicts. Some
of us are into physical fitness. Some of us love food. Some of're all addicts. Some of us are into physical fitness.
Some of us love food. Some of us love to read. Some of us love social media. Some of us love
the news. Some of us like smoking marijuana. Some of us might like hard drugs. A lot of us
enjoy alcohol and it's become a problem. So especially, you know, my heart belongs to the
blue collar industry. And some of us didn't get raised with a mom or dad.
And some of us never were taught to manage our checkbook.
Some of us never were taught about discipline and delayed gratification.
And, you know, that's what this podcast is for,
is to just help out everybody. A lot of us
here, and I say us because I fit into some of those buckets. I've definitely drank way too much.
I've definitely eaten the worst foods possible and made excuses for it. I've definitely been
not very good with my financials and my credit in the past. And here we are. But I think
it's going to be really good because it's not only home service. It has a lot to do with just
how to better our lives and how to become the best we could be for ourselves. Because if we're
not good for ourselves, we're not good for anybody. So do you want to just start out?
Do you want me to just call you Dr. Lemke? Sure. Whatever that works. That's my professional
title, but you feel free to call me Anna too. That's also fine.
Listen, you are the doctor. You've got the history here. Nobody that's ever been on the podcast,
but I'd love to just tell the listeners a little bit about you and why you got into the
School of Medicine with psychiatry and addiction psychology and just what you're doing today and
where you're looking forward to headed in the future. Yeah, thank you. Well, first of all,
let me just say that I agree with you that we're all in this day and age a little bit addicted to something.
You know, we used to think of addiction as something that only happens to those people over there or was something that had to do with somebody's sort of weakness of character
or what used to be called moral turpitude.
But now we have a much better understanding of addiction as an
actual brain disease that really is in many ways a mismatch between our ancient wiring for processing
pleasure and pain and the world that we find ourselves in now, which is really a world in
which almost every human activity has become drugified. So as you really nicely pointed
out, sure, there are traditional drugs like alcohol and cannabis. There are also behaviors
that can be addictive, like masturbation, pornography, gambling, video games, social media,
the internet in general. So even healthy behaviors nowadays, things like reading
and other forms of games and even, you know, human connection because of social media has the
potential now for addiction. So we're kind of living in a time and place where it really is
possible to get addicted to just about anything. And in our clinic here, we see a very wide range of things
that people get addicted to. So I think it's really dispelling this idea that addiction is
something that is unique or something that, you know, is sort of in somebody's brain.
It is true that we see brain changes when people become addicted, but really we all
have a motivational reward system.
And if exposed sufficiently to our particular drug of choice, we're really all vulnerable
to the problem of addiction.
So it's really kind of a new way to think about addiction, you know, as sort of, let's say, endemic in human nature.
When I think about humans living in, you know, millions of years ago, right, when it was very difficult to survive and you had to sort of work all day long just to find a little bit of food and water.
I imagine that people with sort of this innate, what we sometimes call the addictive personality
or an addictive temperament, they were probably the most valuable people in the human tribe
because they were willing to work harder and walk further and do more to get scarce resources.
So it is true that, you know, there's a spectrum of
vulnerability to the problem of addiction. But it's just interesting to think about how
it's really the interaction between our wiring and the environment. And now that we have this
environment of drugification and kind of overwhelming overabundance, everybody's more
vulnerable to the problem. Anyway, you asked who
I am. I'm a professor of psychiatry and addiction medicine here at Stanford University School of
Medicine. I see patients, I do research, and I do a lot of teaching of medical students and residents.
And how much of what you do is clinical psychiatry versus addiction?
Are they just intertwined?
So my practice is almost entirely addiction now.
It wasn't originally.
Originally, I was sort of trained across the board to treat all different types of mental health disorders.
But I kind of got into addiction because the need was so great.
There were so many people that I was seeing who were struggling with addiction who really weren't getting better because I wasn't addressing the addiction piece. anxiety got better, their depression got better, their, you know, psychotic disorders got better.
And it really made me see the power of addiction treatment, how it could transform not just the
lives of my patients, but also the lives of the people around them. So that amazing, amazing thing
about addiction is it really has this powerful ripple effect that when we ourselves change our consumptive behaviors for the better,
the people around us are also more likely to change those behaviors.
You know, I recently had Gino Wickman. He wrote the book. He wrote all about EOS and how to run
a business. And it's in every continent. It's in every country. And he said, I've literally worked so hard for so long.
I sold 87 and a half percent of my business.
I had a pile of gold, so much money.
And I still felt incomplete.
People are always running towards this goal.
When you hit it, it doesn't satisfy.
And a lot of us are workaholics where we'll work just nonstop.
Like 5% of the world is entrepreneurial hunters.
And he said, until I realized and I became content.
And it's just a really weird thing to think about.
Like, man, you work your life off you
all these years this hard work and then the payoff comes and you're still and he goes i was always
worried that this fight or flight this this discontent was my edge but i didn't really
understand that when i became i actually became fulfilled and that took a lot a lot of psych
like he went to a lot of counseling and he says there's ways that took a lot, a lot of psych, like he went to a lot of counseling and he says, there's ways that there's,
there's a lot of different ways to get there.
Some people actually could explore their brain that a different dimension by
being on shrooms or YOS go or whatever it's called.
And some people have this awakening and some people just,
they need to learn what that thing is.
That's causing that behavior that they kind of sealed up and they shut down.
And who is it?
You might know her name, Marilyn, the Marilyn Method.
Does that ring a bell for you?
No.
Anyway, I just want to first talk about, because a lot of the people own a company that are listening.
And a lot of us, we don't stop our brains.
We're ADHD.
I say every entrepreneur has got a touch of ADHD.
And we've got so much going on.
And we never really feel content.
We never really live in the moment.
Why is that?
Well, I mean, I do think that people are sort of innately wired differently.
And that kind of restlessness, if channeled, can lead to intense productivity.
In some ways, those folks are the lucky ones, right?
Because there's a lot of discontent and restlessness that people never learn to channel or never learn to
harness. And so they just are left with that and don't found companies and have this kind of
success. But I think the illusion for people who are able to channel their restlessness
and discontent is that through achievement and validation, they will someday get to the place
where they're no longer restless and no longer discontent. And that's actually the part that's
not true. That's the myth. Because really, it's just part of human nature and part of life that
we're always a little bit dissatisfied and that really there's no
external achievement that's going to get rid of that. As my one patient called it,
pilot light of anxiety. It's just part of being human. And then when we realize that,
that's when we, I think, begin to cross over into the possibility of some kind of serenity when we
stop trying to outrun that feeling. Okay. Here's a personal question that I always confuse the two,
and I know they're very similar. And we're going to jump into dopamine nation questions.
But can you just tell me a little bit about the difference between,
this is going to sound really probably an ignorant question, but dopamine and serotonin?
Sure. So both dopamine and serotonin are neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters are
chemicals that we make in our brain that allow for fine tuning of the electrical circuits that make up our brain. So our brain
is composed of a number of different types of cells. One of those cells is the long
spindly cells that we call neurons that have these axons, and they conduct electrical impulses from
one neuron to another to make up electrical circuits that makes up our brain activity. But the neurons
don't actually touch end to end. There's a little gap between them. That gap is called the synapse.
And neurotransmitters are the molecules that bridge that gap, allowing for fine-tuned control
of the electrical circuits. Dopamine and serotonin are just two of many brain neurotransmitters. They
have different but related functions. Dopamine is especially important for pleasure, reward,
motivation, and also movement. Serotonin tends to be important for mood, sleep, appetite, and social connection. So they just, they're both, you know, kind of in the
broader category of sort of, quote unquote, feel good neurotransmitters generally,
at least initially when we have more of them, we feel better, but they qualitatively
have different roles or different functions in the brain.
And I've heard you speak on stage a little bit about dopamine. And I think you mentioned that you could rewire your brain at any age. That just because you have, and I might be off here,
but I think you've done a lot. Have you done a lot of study with like, was it rats or mice?
So I haven't done those studies, but I often talk about those studies done by my neuroscience
colleagues.
You're remembering correctly, I did talk about a variety of different studies in rats and
mice, but I myself don't do those studies.
What was the most profound couple studies that you discuss most often that you've seen with behavioral studies about addiction and dopamine?
Well, one really important series of studies.
It wasn't just one study.
It's a series of multiple studies done over many decades now where a probe was stuck into a rat's brain right in the nucleus accumbens. The nucleus accumbens
is an area of the brain that's rich in dopamine-releasing neurons, and it's part of the
reward circuitry. And the experiment is to measure dopamine release in response to different
substances. So we're always releasing dopamine at a kind of tonic baseline level in the
brain. When we do something that's reinforcing, that our brain recognizes as important for survival,
we temporarily increase dopamine above baseline, and that's what feels good. And because it feels
good, we want to do it again. So then we're willing to invest energy and work into finding more of whatever that is.
So this series of experiments looked at how much dopamine is released in response to different
types of rewards and found that chocolate increases dopamine firing about 50% above
baseline.
Sex is 100% above baseline.
Nicotine is 150% above baseline.
Nicotine is 200% and amphetamine is 1000%. So what that tells us is that, at least in rats and mice, all of those things are reinforcing,
but, you know, sex is more than chocolate, nicotine is more than sex. Cocaine and amphetamine are more than nicotine. And indeed,
it's true that behaviorally, you know, one of the ways to measure addiction in a rat is to see how
hard is that animal willing to work to get their drug of choice, which is a nice animal model for
human behavior, because one of the things that we see in addiction is that people will work very, very hard to get
their drug. And indeed, if you give a rat or a mouse access to intravenous cocaine, for example,
and a lever they can press to deliver that cocaine, what you find is that the animal will
press the lever till exhaustion or even death. So it's not very hard to get a rat addicted to cocaine. And they
will get addicted to cocaine more easily than they will get addicted to something like chocolate,
right, or other reinforcers. And indeed, it's very difficult to get a rat addicted to alcohol
for whatever reason, unless you genetically engineer a particular strain of rats to get
addicted to alcohol. Rats generally don't like alcohol, but they love stimulants, which is different from humans.
Humans generally love alcohol and stimulants and chocolate and sex and nicotine.
So we kind of like everything.
But it does raise an important concept of drug of choice, which is that we're all wired a little bit differently. And what releases a lot
of dopamine in my brain, for example, may not release a lot of dopamine in your brain and vice
versa. And although clinically what we see today is polypharmacy, meaning that generally people who
are vulnerable to addiction, and again, I said it's all of us, but certainly some are more
vulnerable than others, they might have one drug of choice like alcohol or cocaine or cannabis,
but they're often also using other drugs. So kind of multiple drugs in consecutive days or even
simultaneously. But even when they're using multiple drugs, most people have what they
would call their drug of choice. That is their one go-to drug or their preferred drug or the drug that is sort of primordial tribe, you wouldn't want everybody
going for the same berry bush.
You would want some people really like berries.
Some people want to hunt meat.
Some people want to look for partners.
And that way, as a group, everybody gets what they need.
So I think that's also part of like the innate built-in mechanism to get people to go for
different rewards, right? That
inter-individual variability is something that Mother Nature probably intentionally programmed
for. That's really interesting. Now, you mentioned earlier anything could be an addiction, something as simple as reading sex novels. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So
that's, you know, that's what I talk about in my book, Dopamine Nation, how I got addicted to
romance novels and romance novels. I'm sorry. You know what I went, I graduated from romance novels to sex novels. So for sure, I thought that progression was there for me. And it started out with Twilight, which is a vampire romance novel written for teenagers. Have you read it? I doubt you have.
I've watched all the movies, but I don't read novels, unfortunately. I'm trying to get into fiction. Yeah. Anyway, reading has always been my drug of choice. And I read the romance novels and that
was like, you know, very reinforcing. And I read the series multiple times. And then I
graduated from that to werewolf romance novels and magician romance novels and all kinds of
romance novels. And after a while, that wasn't really
potent enough for me. So then I graduated or progressed to novels that had more graphic
sex scenes and eventually found myself reading Frank Erotica over the course of about a year,
year and a half. What was so interesting about that process was that even though I'm an addiction psychiatrist, I really didn't see
the progression as it was happening. I would occasionally joke, aha, I'm addicted to romance
novels, but really I did get a little bit addicted to romance novels. How do we define addiction?
It's the continued compulsive use of a substance or a behavior despite harm to self and or others. Sometimes we look for the three Cs, control,
compulsion, consequences, out of control use, compulsive use, or continued use despite
consequences, as well as tolerance and withdrawal. Tolerance is needing more of the drug or more
potent forms over time to get the same effect. Withdrawal is finding that when you cut back
or stop, you have, you know, a physiologic reaction to that. And I really met all of those
criteria. So, you know, I'd be reading a romance novel as I went to bed on a weeknight telling
myself I was just going to read one chapter and go to sleep. And four hours later, two in the morning,
I was still reading, which was impairing
my ability to sleep, which was impairing my ability to function at work or be present for my family.
So it was a subtle impact, but it definitely was a real impact. I repeatedly said I wasn't going to
cut back and wasn't going to read romance novels tonight, but the nighttime came, my willpower
was diminished. I read romance novels. And I also developed
tolerance, the tolerance being needing more potent forms. As I said, I eventually kind of progressed
to something really quite a bit beyond your average sort of Twilight Saga type of romance novel.
So the point being that I had sort of thought that I was immune to addiction, even though it runs in my family,
because traditional drugs just never were reinforcing. But the truth is, I just hadn't
met my drug of choice. And when I did, which turned out to be not just romance novels, but
online romance novels, which meant that I could get them very easily and quickly,
I essentially became a chain reader of romance novels, didn't see the progression happening,
which is very common in addiction that we don't see our behaviors when we're in them.
And then I discovered when I tried to stop that I actually had a physical withdrawal
characterized by insomnia and irritability. And that lasted about a couple of weeks.
So that's a very typical kind of progression for any addiction. And the point being is really
anybody can get addicted. Even if you think you're immune, there's probably a drug out there for you.
And again, in this day and age, almost everything has been made to be addictive or reinforcing.
Yeah. One of the things I always say on this podcast is I think the FDA is bought and paid for.
And a lot of the foods we eat cause us to do things that we normally wouldn't do.
And I kind of had this debate this week kind of with myself because I always say the most important thing is sleep because without sleep, you made bad decisions.
Without the food, whether you're drinking your carbs and your whatever substance in the food or you're eating it, like that'll cause you not to sleep too.
Like if you drink a lot, you're probably not going to get great sleep.
And so they kind of go hand in hand.
And I don't know which one's more important. the food and nutrients we eat, the sleep, the water intake, or the movement,
so that could be working out or cardio or whatever. Do you have like a rank?
Well, I think it's important to acknowledge that our food supply has become drugified with the
addition of salt, fat, sugar, and flavorants. And what I mean by that is that
now when we eat food, in particular, ultra-processed food, of which there is an
abundance in our world today, two things are happening. We are getting calories and nutrients,
which we need to live, but we're also getting a hit of dopamine in our brain's reward pathway.
And that is problematic in the sense that because we are getting that hit of dopamine, we won't
want to, or even be able to stop eating even once we've reached satiety or the point at which our
body is telling us, okay, that's enough food.
Instead, what will happen is we will repeatedly eat past that point because the food is also a
drug that's causing this release of dopamine that leads us into this sort of addiction vortex where
we're getting in sort of the dopamine spike followed by dopamine freefall, which is a state of craving,
which then drives the compulsive reuse. So there is a movement now within the field of mental
health, and I'm peripherally a part of that movement, which is to actually get ultra-processed
food addiction into the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, meaning to get it recognized
as a mental illness. There are a number of eating disorders that are already considered mental
illnesses, bulimia, binge eating characterized by purging, often vomiting, or the use of laxatives,
or compulsive exercise, anorexia, which is excessive restriction, various body dysmorphias.
But there is, again, a movement to have a whole new category that is simply food addiction or
food use disorder. Because what we're seeing now is more and more people who are not, in fact,
meeting criteria for the classic eating disorders because they don't,
for example, have a distorted view of their own bodies. Like they see their bodies as they are,
and they're not necessarily dealing even with obesity, right? Which is often how we approach
sort of the binge eating folks who gain a lot of weight because, you know,
they're not doing the compensatory compulsive exercise or purging or things. But instead,
we think that there should be a category that just acknowledges that food has become a drug
and that even your average person, you know, eating these ultra processed foods is going to struggle to moderate their consumption because the food is addictive.
And that's, I think, for example, order DoorDash all night long and eat
DoorDash processed food and gallons of ice cream, and really use food as a kind of narcotic,
to the point where they literally pass out the way some people will use alcohol. And of course,
alcohol and food are both working on our carbohydrate system. So there's a lot of analogy between those two.
Interestingly, we're also finding that the medications that are coming out now, really were originally used to help
people with type 2 diabetes manage their blood sugars and manage appetitive control. Now we're
seeing that they can be helpful to some people with alcohol use disorder. So it's the same kind
of carbohydrate-mediated appetitive control mechanisms. Anyway, the bottom line in answer to your question, my answer was long winded, but I do think that acknowledging that food in the modern world has become drugified is really important to alerting people that it's not about their lack of willpower.
It's about the fact that the food is engineered to keep us
consuming it. And that the intervention then is not exactly the same thing as traditional dieting,
but it's a way of acknowledging that, wow, you know, if I eat healthy food, then I'm much more likely to be able to stop eating when
my body has had enough. Whereas if I eat sugar, if I eat, you know, highly salted fatty carbohydrates
plus sugar, it means that I will be really hard to stop even when I've had enough. So I think
that message is super important. Yeah. I wanted to ask you one more thing that you brought up because I happen to know a lot of people that are on Ozempic.
And I don't think there's enough clinical trials or research that are done to the side effects as far as like people are using it if they're 20 pounds overweight. And there was just a Wall Street Journal article
that I read that said,
the minute you stop taking it, the cravings come back.
It's like you're right back.
Now you've lost all the weight,
but is this something that you can wean off of?
What are the side effects?
I just know too many people that are leaning towards it.
And it might be great.
It might be fine.
I don't know enough to even make a comment on it. I mean, I think you're absolutely right. We need
more data and we're probably over prescribing it and it's being over consumed. Every medication
has risks. And we know that, you know, Ozempic and and others in that class are causing bowel obstructions, decreased peristalsis or gut motility can lead to, in some cases, depression. have a kind of a rebound phenomenon. Having said that, I have a really healthy respect
for the power of the human brain once it's in this addiction cycle to be very difficult to break out
of. So I am in favor of non-addictive medications that can help people, you know, get a handle on that and get some kind of sense of
repetitive control, even if it's just short term. I guess what I would hope is that if people are
using Ozempic to manage unhealthy eating habits, that they would use the time in which Ozempic and other similar drugs decrease their cravings as a golden window of opportunity
to introduce healthier eating habits and other important lifestyle changes like movement,
right? It's really important for our bodies to move so that when they get off of the Ozempic,
they have some really good habits in place that
will allow them to um perpetuate you know the benefits yeah it's interesting one of my good
buddies is like it's weird i started taking ozempic just a few weeks ago and he's not what
i would consider by any means an alcoholic but he drinks and he drinks when he drinks he'll have four or five drinks he's like i just i don't
feel like drinking at all and i'm like i don't know necessarily if i've ever felt like man i need
a vodka tonic or i need a beer right now because we're not to that but when we're like friday comes
and we're just on top of the world we're like man let let's go have a drink. Let's have a glass of wine. And he's like, I just don't even want it. And I didn't even think that Ozempic was built.
I thought it was like, from what we see now, I thought it was like a weight loss.
But really what it does prevent alcohol as well, I'm hearing.
Well, I mean, again, there are some early trials looking at it. Anecdotally in our clinic,
we have some patients with treatment refractory alcohol use disorder
who have tried everything and haven't responded, who have then tried these agents like Ozempic
and Wagovi and found it very helpful.
You know, not everybody, but I think it's just, it's important for us to, yeah, explore
options, especially in cases where people have tried
everything else. They've been to Alcoholics Anonymous, they've taken naltrexone, you name it,
and they haven't really been able to stop the behavior. What a relief that must be for them to
be able to be free of that state of craving. I want to dive into Dopamine Nation here and then the business world. From a business
perspective, what are the ethical considerations companies should prioritize when designing
products or services that tap into our dopamine systems? And the key word here is ethical because
I happen to know Robert Ciarini. He wrote the book Influence Pre-Suasion. And one of his
statements in the book is, use these things for good. Because I'm sure there's a lot of
ways to use these for bad. Yeah. I mean, the classic example of this is the social media companies who may not have intended to harm young people, but it's very clear now that although social media from those digital media have a responsibility to especially protect kids and also to make sure that the inherent addictive design elements are curbed or eliminated so that people are using it as a helpful tool and aren't using it in a
compulsive, over-consumptive way. So yeah, I mean, bottom line, I do think that it can't just be up
to the individual. These are basically product liability issues. You know, we have lots and lots
of rules around how to use opioids medicinally in a safe way. They're an important tool, but we also
need lots of restrictions so that people don't get addicted. And I think, you know, we're going
to need those same kinds of guardrails with digital media as well. Figuring out how to do it is hard,
but I think we need to, we have a responsibility to do that, especially to children. So selfishly, I own a garage door company. We service 20,000 jobs
a month. So 20,000 new customers. Is there a way to ethically use marketing and use when we're
there to create a great experience, to create dopamine in an ethical way?
Yeah. You know what? I don't know the answer to that. Obviously, as a business owner, you want to do that because you want to sell more of your product. And your product is hopefully
one that you feel is doing good in the world and making people's lives better. I, you know,
I don't think that people are going to get so caught up in buying garage
doors that they're going to get addicted to buying garage doors.
So maybe you tell me otherwise, but I don't see that happening,
but you never know. So, you know,
We'll promote slight addiction for the next, for this, the next few years. So, you know, I'll promote slight addiction for the next for this the next few years.
Right. So, you know, I mean, in some ways, if you do your job well, that that person isn't going to come back to you for a long time because now they have a really good garage door that's going to last a long time.
Right. So that's, I think, an ethical thing to do. You know, if you if you on the other hand, you know, sort of like,
you know, the claims that are made about these dating apps, they don't actually want people to
find other people because then they don't they don't have, you know, their business model,
they kind of go broke. So, you know, some people do get really addicted to dating apps, and they,
they're not on there for, you know for relationship formation. They're on there to
get the match and get the confetti and feel good about themselves and then move on to the next
potential match. So I think that's how I think about it. Yeah, that's interesting. And as far
as businesses creating a workplace, the culture that promotes a healthy
dopamine balance and reduces the risk of burnout or addictive behaviors, is there something as a
leader or an owner or a founder or a CEO that we should be thinking about to make sure? Obviously,
not stacking the fridge full of Red Bulls and monsters. I'm just trying to think of
things we could do in the workplace to make sure we're taking care of our, you know, my co-workers.
Yeah. So, I mean, I think we can really look to the ancient wisdom of theology and ancient
philosophy here for guidance. There's a reason that we have a Sabbath. And that's because
for many, many generations, people were wise enough to realize that, you know, you don't want
to work every single day of the week. It's important to take a break, to let your brain reset,
to process what's happened, to spend time doing other things and prepare for the week to come.
So what's happened in the modern world is that work itself has become drugified.
You know, what does that mean? It means it's more potent and reinforcing with all the kind of stock
options and bonuses and, you know, rankings. It's become more accessible, right? Work never ends. It's infinite where there's no place we
can go now where we can't access work. So there's no natural stopping point for work, which again,
if you think about work as a potential drug, now you've got sort of like an infinite amount
of cocaine that never runs out. That can't possibly be good for our cocaine habit. So I
think what places of work can and should do
is to really try hard to make sure that workers get a break, that there are sort of sacred
days of the week or times of the day when people really should disengage from work,
focus on other things. You asked me earlier about animal experiments that I think are really
powerful. There's a set of experiments that George Koob did with his co-researchers where they
exposed rats to pressing a lever for cocaine for two hours a day. And they compared that to rats
in which they were allowed to press the
lever essentially all day long. And what they found was that in the rats who only had access
to cocaine for two hours a day, that their rate of lever press was constant. So over the course of
seven days they pressed that lever for cocaine the same amount of time every day. But in the rats where they exposed them to unlimited cocaine, those rats increased their lever pressing rate every day.
So the first day, maybe they pressed it 50 times. The next day, maybe it was, you know,
a hundred times. The day after that, it was 200 times. So that by the end of that week,
those rats were constantly pressing that lever for cocaine.
So that gives us some really important information. It tells us that when we're thinking about
developing tolerance, which is the need for more and more of our drug to get the same effect,
that if we leave enough time in between drug use, we can reset the range reward pathways and we're
less likely to develop tolerance and
therefore less likely to get into that addiction vortex. Whereas if we have constant unlimited
access and are pinging our brains all day long with these highly reinforcing substances and
behaviors, we're going to progress to that kind of harmful addictive paradigm. And this is not to say that people
should be like, oh yeah, I can use cocaine if I'm only using two hours a day. Not at all. But it is
to emphasize that it is important to take a break from anything that we do compulsively or a lot of,
or that's very reinforcing for us. So cocaine, two hours a day, lunchroom, no more.
No, I'm kidding.
You know, I was at the Masters,
and one of the things about Augusta
is you're not allowed to carry a cell phone out there at all.
They sell phones that are like the old,
where you press the button, disposable, whatever.
I haven't even said the word in like 20 years.
And you know, I just, the first hour I was like, man, this kind of sucks.
I can't like get updates.
And then the next hour I was like,
it would be sure nice to have my camera to my phone to take a picture.
And then after that, it was like bliss.
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Now let's get back to today's episode.
It was like, I remember leaving Augusta going, I want my life without a cell phone sometimes.
Like whether that's going out on the lake fishing or reading a book and just getting away from it.
And also there's this feeling of letting people down or not being, but just saying, listen, I'm off today.
You need to get a hold of me, get a hold of the EA or whatever that looks like.
But I got to tell you, at first it was difficult. Then it became just heavenly.
Yeah, right. It's so true. You know, our digital devices really are like a drug and we don't even
realize, you know, how compulsively we overuse them to the point where we're really slaves to them. And by even just
taking one day a week, a kind of digital Sabbath, where we don't touch our phone and don't look at
a screen. And what we'll notice is that initially we're uncomfortable, we're restless, we're
preoccupied with wanting to check things, to look who texted us, to see what notifications we got,
or whatever, you know, check our stock portfolio, who knows what, you
know, how many likes we got on Instagram. But if we can just ride out that discomfort, what we find
is that the brain slowly adjusts. And then we not only feel less craving to look at our devices,
but actually start to feel really, really good. And I think this is just so important for people
to experiment with, for families to
experiment with together, couples. Yeah, taking a break from these devices is super important.
I want to jump in and just a few more questions here. I'm sure there's a lot of ways to prevent
addiction, but what do we do when we already have something? And I think most people,
if we look in the mirror, we could admit there's,
we might have a problem.
You said porn,
masturbation,
sex,
all the way to a drug of choice.
It could be alcohol.
It could be tobacco.
It could be nicotine.
When we do have something,
and you know what's so funny is,
I talked to my mom one time.
She used to smoke a pre-month salt.
She switched to a vape.
And she goes, you know, she had a lump in her throat. It was non-cancerous. Thank God. And you would think
after it was a close call. And I said, mom, why do you even want to do it? And the answer I got was
less than satisfactory. She goes, this is, this is my time. This is what I want to do.
Yeah.
It was like this, like, this is like the only This is what I want to do. It was like this,
like, this is like the only time I get to be with my own thoughts and like, it's my getaway.
And I look at things like, if I know it's not good for me, I just, and I've seen doctors do
cocaine before. Like you've heard about them like dying of an overdose, like that know better.
But there's a lot of people that I think they just kind of lie to themselves
and they say, it's not a problem or it's my time or this is what I get to do by myself.
And this is the only time I get to release or whatever it is. I don't know what the answer is.
That's why I wanted to ask you, what's the best for people that are listening that might
have some type of addiction that they know is not good for them?
What's the best way to address that, move on from it, or try to get it under control?
Well, first of all, just to speak to your mother's response, I mean, part of why people
use drugs is because they work, and they wouldn't go back if they didn't have some positive
quality for them.
So your mom saying, this is me me time or this is how I kind
of take care of myself, that is very common when people get addicted. They often tend to be
avoidant copers. So they don't, it's very hard for them to get their needs met
in other ways or by asking for help or asking for things. They don't like to do
that. And so they then sort of take care of themselves over here with their drug of choice.
The other thing is that although drugs initially might work to solve a problem and take care of us
over time, they don't take care of us, right? They're harmful. But we still have the experience that
they're working because they get us out of that place of craving. So what initially starts out as
maybe self-medicating or self-care becomes self-harm and becomes just medicating the
withdrawal from the last dose. So one of the important interventions, you know, when we're trying to help people stop their addictive behaviors is to's a very serious addiction. I recommend that they go see a mental health care provider who
has expertise in treating addiction. If they're not sure or not able to do that,
they might consider exploring 12-step groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous,
Cannabis Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, Internet and
Social Media Addicts Anonymous. I mean, there's really a group for almost every addiction you
can imagine. These are people who come together and help each other when they're struggling with
the same or similar problem. And they can be very, very effective. And they're also evidence-based.
So we have evidence showing that Alcoholics Anonymous is as good as professionally mediated treatment and probably works better for certain populations.
What if they don't want help? I mean, a lot of people, they're like, I know,
yeah, I drink, but it's not a problem. But they know in the deep down pits, yeah, yeah, I know,
I eat, I binge eat and I love Twinkies and I eat 10 of them in a row, and I can't live without ice cream and chocolate chip cookies, or whatever it might be.
Or don't take me away from my phone.
This is my happy spot.
But you look at your day yesterday, and you go, is there anything good that came out of that?
Is there anything that you're like, man, that yesterday when I got to scroll through TikTok for four hours,
you know, once the dopamine's gone and you've used it, it's not like, wow, that was really,
that paid off. But I just don't think that, I just don't think a lot of people are to the point where it's gotten to the point where they feel like they need help. They feel like it's
under control. Yeah, I agree. Most of us, we feel like it's under control and we feel like it's not doing any real harm. And that's the situation where I invite people to try something called the dopamine fast
or an abstinence trial, where they give up their drug of choice for four weeks as an experiment.
And typically I'll warn them that they're going to feel worse before they feel better. But if they
can make it to weeks three or four, it will often feel very, very good, better than they have in a really long
time. And that can be a moment of insight where people realize, oh, wow, this thing that I thought
was harmless actually was causing harm. Or this thing that I thought I wasn't addicted to, I
really was addicted to it. Or this thing that I thought was helping me with my depression, anxiety, insomnia, and attention was actually making those things worse. So I really like that
as an early intervention, as a way to give people their own data on which they can then make better
informed choices. One of the things that I've been talking a lot about lately is doing something hard. And for me,
it would be getting into a 32 degrees Fahrenheit, a nice plunge. But there are times after three
months where your body's like, you're just used to it. You go right in there. It's not hard anymore.
It still might be great for you. But flexing those do something hard muscles, like abstinence of dessert for a month
or turning off your cell phone for two days in a row.
I mean, some of us, you know,
maybe even getting a flip phone
and transferring to that so you don't scroll.
Like I've always been in the position to where
I kind of like accountability
and I like to give myself no other way.
Cause if it's right there, it's easy to do it. Like, like you said,
if they just, if the rat could just hit it whenever they want, they just,
but if you build like conditions, like if I miss my trainer today,
he's going to call me up and he's going to be very disappointed because I
wasted his time and my time. I've created that accountability.
Now I know it's going to work me out harder than I'd work out myself. Like I know he's going to push an extra level, but I
know he's not going to push me too hard that I'm not going to quit the next day. And that's a skill.
But I think just doing something hard, that's hard for you, maybe easy for other people.
But I think that that's something that very few people in this day and age
have done in a long time. Yeah. I mean, the message that we get from the culture today is
that if you're not comfortable or if you're in pain or if you're anxious, make yourself more
comfortable, you know, make your life easier. But really, we were wired over millions of years of evolution
for pain. We are strivers, we need friction in order to feel in balance. And it turns out that
when we intentionally do things that are hard or even painful, our body senses injury and then
upregulates production of our feel goodgood neurotransmitters like dopamine,
serotonin, norepinephrine, you name it. So that it's actually a really nice way to get dopamine
indirectly by paying for it up front. And that's really how we were meant to get our dopamine. We
weren't meant to have easy access to these intoxicants that release a lot of dopamine all
at once with no work. We were meant to have to do something hard to get
a little bit of dopamine to kind of reset us and put us back into balance. So I think that's an
important message, especially in this culture of sort of quick fix. And it's a really important
message for children, you know, that it's actually good for you to do something challenging, something that you don't
want to do, but you feel better afterwards. And really drawing our attention to be able to observe
that, that reluctance to enter into a difficult task, the kind of psychological and or physical pain we have during the task and then you know the
sort of release of those chemicals that give us that post-task high that's really important to
watch that cycle to not overuse that cycle like we do have people who get addicted to things like
exercise I've talked about that actually addicted to to work. So you can overdo that.
The other thing that we see more and more of is this kind of work hard, play hard mentality,
where I worked hard all day and now I get to reward myself, right? So that's not good either
because then there's no kind of restful in between. It's all my will exerted on the world
to change the way I feel, whether it's to feel bad or feel good,
instead of being at a place of rest and letting the world unfold, which is something that
modern humans are not good at at all, but which I think is really important to
finding that kind of angle of repose where we're able to experience joy and beauty, but not necessarily of our own making,
but that occurs spontaneously as life unfolds.
Love that.
If you were to tell a business owner or a manager
how to create an environment,
obviously making sure that people have time,
I've always kind of mandated PTO.
Yeah.
But other than like the seventh day of rest
and as leaders,
is there anything else that we should be looking to do
to lead in the right way
and to really show up for the people?
Well, I mean, practice what you preach is important.
Don't expect, you know, from the folks who work with you,
something that you wouldn't do.
FOMO is really real now.
You know, I mean, it's always been to some extent
a source of human suffering,
but that fear of missing out,
if you can create systems where people can take time off
and away from their work without feeling like they're going to be missing something important.
Don't quite know how to do that.
Probably it's different for every kind of work.
So this might be also communal time off that's synchronized with other people off.
So, again, you don't have that sense.
Well, I'm taking off today, but I'm missing a lot of really important things. And when I go in tomorrow, I'm going to have 200 emails and my
boss is going to be mad and I'm going to be behind and everybody's going to know what was going on.
And I don't, you know, creating a system where people are together taking time off or, you know,
somehow it's more of a communal experience.
What is your take? I'm curious. What's your take on Jordan Peterson as far as,
you know, he talks a lot of men and women are two different things. And they had a lot of debates.
And this is an interesting one. And, you know, there's a lot of different takes for him, but he says, you know, men are the most incarcerated. Men are the most likely to get a job outside. Men are the first one to go to
war. Men's life expectancy is less. I do think men and women are different by a long shot. You
know, I can't have babies. They don't have any reproductive organs. And I don't really know what
kind of question I'm asking here. I just think it's, I was sitting down with a private equity,
like all the limited partners that invested in this company and they did a women's panel
and the women were up there saying, you know, I think it's very important that we have a family,
you know, we want to have kids. And I heard some kind of whispers in the audience of like,
you know, if you're going to take three or four months off
in the middle of the that's very tough for bankers and financial bankers but but the women said it's a lot easier when the founder has daughters because they understand because those are the
grand babies they're having you know what i mean like it's going and they have a grandchild is what they said and i i don't necessarily know i think it's
very um this day and age everybody wants this equal rights of everything and i wouldn't say
necessarily in old-fashioned i think women should have great jobs and i'm not trying to be a
misogynist i don't really know where i'm going with this question, but I'm just curious your point of view when it comes to this day and age where you could be a cat in second grade and not answer any questions and lick on milk.
I'm just I don't know where it stops.
It's like, no, there's a society.
You got to do your part and you don't need to fit in necessarily, but you're not that
special.
I don't know.
What is your take?
It's not very a direct question.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a lot there.
I mean, I guess, you know, a lot comes to mind.
What I'd say is that I do think, you know, for all the chatter about how vulnerable young girls are today, we're not talking enough about how vulnerable boys and men are today.
I actually think this is a really incredibly difficult time to be a man in terms of addiction to pornography and sex, addiction to video games, we're seeing a huge dropout in the workforce among young men.
I mean, these are not this is not an opinion. It's there are numbers to show that along with some some data to suggest that they're dropping out because they're at home playing video games and viewing pornography.
So, you know, we're seeing, I think, a very dangerous trend of this sort of withdrawal
from society and a disengagement among young men and boys, and it's super concerning.
And then just in terms of, you know, women taking time for family and
to raise their kids, I mean, you know, there are certain biological imperatives. Like if you don't
take the time to be there when your child is young, you can't ever get that time back. You
will miss it. And I feel badly for anybody who misses that time, man or
woman. And I think it would be really good and very, very wise for our societies to do more to
accommodate thriving families and to allow both mothers and fathers to have extended periods of
time when their children are young, because that's
when they really need us. And you can't get that back. There's no, there's not really a way to make
it up later. It's a myth that, you know, you can just have quality and quantity doesn't matter.
I don't think that's true. I think quantity does matter because children operate according to child time. You know, they need large swaths of
time with consistent caregivers. You can't just kind of show up and do a song and dance and hope
that, you know, you'll have a strong attachment. So let me, well, this is kind of, if you were,
you know, I went to Australia and i spent a lot of time there
and what i noticed is there's like an extra 55 holidays yep they give they give like eight
months if you have a baby to the men and the women and i i was just thinking like, wait a minute, if I owned a business and I already have like
a million holidays, look, this is the dilemma is you also have bills to pay, right?
I mean, realistically, you got to keep the lights on and the air conditioning going in
the summer there.
And you've also got to pay for insurance and trucks.
I think we're getting to the point where business owners are attacked for not doing a lot of things. And I'm going, well, if the business goes out of
business, then everybody loses. All the jobs are lost. So what's a fair way of saying, you know,
there's a 26-year-old woman and a 26-year-old man, they plan on having five to six kids.
And I agree with you wholeheartedly. I do. But I'm trying to think on a society basis,
how does this work? How is there not some type of free judge that this person, if you're taking eight months off and you want five kids over the next six years, that means you're working
a minimum of a third of the time. And that means that-
Yeah, I agree with you. It's very disruptive to running any kind of business operation and have people
stop out for maternity leave or child leave. I mean, I manage my clinic. We have lots of trainees.
And when I have a trainee who gets pregnant and then it's gone for three months, it's incredibly
disruptive. I can't just make a trainee materialize out of thin air to start seeing their patients.
It is disruptive. There's no doubt about it. I don't know exactly what the answer is. I think that one possibility might be to make workplaces more kid-friendly. So, you know, and you see
sometimes when you go to Utah, you know, where, as you know, many people have very large families,
they'll often bring their kids to work if it's a job that allows, that makes that possible.
They're not all jobs. You can't bring your kid to work, but little babies, or maybe a kid who
could go on a little playpen. I mean, there are some jobs where that would actually be possible if it were culturally acceptable to do that.
Really good idea. And that's what gyms are starting to do is bring your kid to the gym.
Right.
So what would you say, Dopamine Nation, if the whole crowd of people listening right now go by
that, what's some of the largest takeaways?
Well, I just think it's a way to understand how we process pleasure and pain and how the relentless pursuit of these high dopamine rewards actually makes us anhedonic or unable to experience
any pleasure at all. How doing things that are hard upregulates dopamine and
makes us feel better. And also, you know, just how we're living in a world of abundance, which
itself is a human stressor. You know, sometimes I talk about it as the plenty paradox, that actually
this is a very difficult time to be human because we have everything, because our
lives are so convenient, because our lives are so fast and so full of these sources of dopamine and
other fast chemicals. So kind of trying to think about how can we make, how can we be in balance
in physiologic and neurologic and moral and spiritual balance
in a world that's really not encouraging that. I want to say a statement real quick,
and I want you to react if this, what your feelings are. And when I say men,
it could be men or women. Hard times make strong men. Easy times make weak men. I mean, I would say that generally I would agree with that.
Again, I think we evolved for striving and that when we don't have something to strive for or
against, we're kind of a little bit lost, especially if we're also then surrounded by this very overwhelming supply of sort of drugified forms of escapism.
You know, I don't know necessarily if I, you're very familiar, I'm sure, with Darwinism, survival of the fittest. And I think that that was kind of an ancestral thing that took place that just the humans have the evolution of like the camouflage of certain things.
Like they do that to survive, but now it's like you can survive.
And I'm not talking, sounds like inhumane, but bring the inhumane out of it is like, you know, if you could not run faster and do things in your village, there's a good chance.
Like, if you still look at like safaris in Africa and like the animal kingdom, like the weak ones just don't survive.
And now it seems like the population has a lot of weak people surviving that are breeding and
making more weak people. And I'm not just talking about physical strength. I'm not
talking about everything. IQ, I'm talking about like everything. What is your thought on that?
Well, I mean, I think that, you know, a marker of a civilized society is that we take care of our weak. So I do think that
that is an important quality that, you know, we can't and shouldn't want to get away from.
On the other hand, I do think that we have reached some kind of tipping point
in the sense that we are no longer really having to do anything in order to survive.
All our survival needs are basically met.
And we have more leisure time than ever before in human history,
more disposable income, more access to leisure goods.
And, you know, we probably thought that when we reached this point at human civilization,
we would all be sort of in a kind of state of nirvana and doing good and maybe reading philosophy and helping each
other and learning. And instead what we're doing is we're watching a whole lot of pornography,
shopping and playing video games. So I do think that we are very challenged in unprecedented
ways, and we're trying to figure out how to handle it.
How to unscrew ourselves. I'm just going to ask you, Dr. Lemke, if someone wants to reach out
and they've got some questions, and I know you're a busy, busy woman,
what's the best way to get ahold of you? Boy, that's a loaded question because I get a ton
of emails and it's really hard for me to respond to all of them. So I'm very reluctant to say,
reach out. I would say to folks, if you're really struggling, look in your area for an addiction
psychiatrist and go ask them, even if you're not sure if that's what you need, go ask them to do
an assessment and see what they say. And finally, here's how I close out. I do this, I bounce around
and just make it interesting. It must be working because there's a lot of listeners, but I'll let
you close us out. Any topic, maybe something that the audience needs to hear, maybe something we
didn't talk about, whatever you want to take us to close us out. Oh gosh, I don't know. You've asked a lot
of good questions. I'll leave that to you. You know, maybe real quick, but to close us out,
you know, I told you, and we didn't really talk about this, but the last three, four weeks I said,
okay, I'm cutting out the booze. I'm, And Bree's doing it with me, which was a big piece.
And I got baptized.
And I've always been a man of faith.
I went to a private Christian school growing up.
But my parents didn't remember me getting baptized.
And I started taking it very seriously.
And started getting crazy amounts of steps a day, working out harder, eating healthier, organic foods.
And literally, the way I feel, as I told you before we started this podcast, I wish I could
have done this 10 years, 20 years ago. I didn't realize it. I didn't realize that the FDA was
just bought and paid for. I didn't realize that the water was so bad and the contaminants,
the water we shower with without water purification. I didn't realize that the water was so bad and the contaminants, the water we shower with without water purification.
I didn't realize that, you know, the air quality and I put myself in the right position to feel the greatest I can.
Because I do believe I believe I'm a Ferrari.
I believe I'm a Bugatti and I want to put the right fuel in to make sure it's running at the top.
And when I'm running good, my thoughts are good and i sleep really good and my dreams are
good and i wake up with energy without an alarm clock and i'm happy and i'm kind of euphoric like
i walk around here my decision making the fogginess has gone to everything and i'm not just
saying that either i'm not just saying that because of the podcast. I don't know if people would even try this.
Because I always say, is it one day, one day I'm going to do that?
Or is today day one?
And there's nothing that really sparked this.
Me and Bree just said, let's go for this.
And I made it known to everybody that by September 25th,
I will be 10% body fat and healthier than I've ever been.
And I love to hold myself accountable and put deadlines on things.
And, you know, I told you I stopped watching so much news at night.
And I stopped the blue light.
And I stopped, you know, everything's just, isn't that crazy though?
How you get on the right path and all of a sudden I'm brushing my teeth twice a day.
I'm flossing twice a day.
Like everything, like I'm waking up and doing pushups.
I'm making the bed.
It's like all these things kind of have this domino effect
in the best direction possible for me to take care of myself.
I've never put on lotion twice a day.
I've never put on sunscreen on my face.
I'm doing it every single day.
That's great. I don't understand. It's, and I'm not bragging about it. I'm just saying,
like, I wish, I wish more people would have this experience. I'm not, you know, I don't,
I don't even crave fast food. Like I used to drive by Taco Bell and be like, I mean,
my will started to turn towards it. And now I'm like, yeah, disgusting. It's weird.
Yeah. It sounds like you've done a kind of a global dopamine fast where you've eliminated all the kinds of escapist behaviors, high dopamine substances, and you're feeling great. eliminate these types of substances and behaviors that feel very good in the moment,
but the cumulative effect of which is really to make us unhealthy. I mean, you, you know,
if you're a, what do you call yourself for Ferrari or Bugatti or something?
Bugatti. I'm probably a Toyota Sienna, but no but no matter what, what you are, you still got to put in the
right gas, right? You still got to change your oil. You got to really sort of have a healthy
respect for how the body was meant to, what fuel it was meant to run on. And what, yeah, I mean,
our, the modern life really conspires against us. It's really, it's effortful and hard to be healthy now,
but it's worth it because when we do that, we do feel so much better. And then that increased
energy and mood contributes to other people feeling better and then to more healthy habits.
So good for you. I mean, I'm really glad you're feeling so good. And also, you also mentioned spirituality.
I think people are really hungry for spirituality and kind of don't respect that part and not that part of their lives and their selves enough.
So good for you that you're kind of bringing it all together.
Well, thank you.
And I really, really enjoyed this.
It's a different look.
I think we're all addicts.
And like I said, either you're an addict and you got the routine of good things
or opposite.
And I think if people just are more of a,
if anything, this is an awareness podcast.
Just be aware.
And some of you guys,
this might not appeal to you.
It's like, I don't need any help.
I don't need this shit.
Some of you guys might say,
this is exactly what I needed today.
This is time for me to at least acknowledge this.
And whether it's get help
or get your significant other
or get your kid help or whatever it is,
thank you for listening.
And thank you, Dr. Lemke, for doing this today.
I really, really appreciate it. You're welcome. Can I add one more thing? One more thing. Lemke, for doing this today. I really,
really appreciate it. You're welcome. Can I add one more thing?
One more thing. I'd love for you to add one more thing.
Yeah. So, you know, when people think about the dopamine fast and giving something up for four weeks, knowing they'll feel worse before they feel better, we really encourage people to start
small. Just choose one thing, give up alcohol or just give up sugar or just give up video games.
You, Tommy, kind of went whole hog and gave up a bunch of stuff all at once. And that's usually
hard for most people. So just want to encourage folks to experiment, choose one thing, give up
that one thing. Maybe you're a smoker and a drinker and maybe just give up the smoking or
just give up the drinking.
Try not to increase one as you give up the other.
That's a dangerous whack-a-mole situation.
But it's okay to just choose one small thing and just give that up because we find that even just giving up one thing can really help.
Yeah, I mean, I'll tell you, and with that, were going to end, but real quick, I stopped drinking for 100 days.
I started being super healthy, but I didn't have Brie alongside of me.
And when I went back in, went to the bar, had a few shots, whatever it was, I kind of just unwound all that forward progress.
And it wasn't in one day, but it was like then all the habits started coming back.
And then it wasn't like I was drinking all day at work or anything. It's not like I got a bottle,
just that one binge drink caught this like domino effect of like, okay,
it's okay. Then, then of course we're having first class,
we're drinking on the plane. And then, and then of course, Hey,
I can go for a drink. And it's like, I don't know.
I think I gotta be very careful because I do have an addictive personality.
And I know.
So I was just going to say, I was just going to say, thanks for sharing that, because I
think many people will be able to relate to that, giving up something for a period of
time, trying to go back to using in moderation and then finding that they very quickly slip
back.
And then your point about Bre breed doing it with you,
it is so much easier to do these things if we do them with the people we live with, people we love.
Other people are enormous for our ability to co-regulate our consumption, which is why AA
works, right? Because we're basically joining a group of other people who have the same goal, which is to abstain.
But yeah, doing it with your spouse, partner, just that's so much better. Building those healthy habits together, that's huge, right? In terms of our ability to sustain those positive changes.
Well, listen, I am super jacked. I'm excited. I'm going to go work out.
Yeah, don't just call your trainer.
You told your trainer you'd be there.
I'm going to go.
I look forward to meeting you in person
again. I saw you at Joe Polish's
event and I was like, Joe,
dude, I really would love to have her on the podcast.
I'm glad we made this happen.
I hope you have a wonderful week and I
truly do appreciate it. Yeah, me too.
Thanks so much and say hi to Joe for me.
I will.
Thank you.
I'll see you soon.
Hey there.
Thanks for tuning into the podcast today.
Before I let you go, I want to let everybody know that Elevate is out and ready to buy.
I can share with you how I attracted a winning team of over 700 employees in over 20 states.
The insights in this book are powerful
and can be applied to any business or organization.
It's a real game changer for anyone looking
to build and develop a high-performing team
like over here at A1 Garage Door Service.
So if you wanna learn the secrets
that helped me transfer my team
from stealing the toilet paper
to a group of 700 plus employees
rowing in the same direction,
head over to elevateandwin.com forward slash podcast
and grab a copy of the book.
Thanks again for listening
and we'll catch up with you next time on the podcast.