The Home Service Expert Podcast - The Art of Handling Tough Conversations: Resolving Tension in Business Environments

Episode Date: June 16, 2023

David Wood is the Founder of Focus.ceo, one of the world’s largest coaching businesses. He has trained high-performing entrepreneurs, executives, and even prison inmates around the globe, becoming #1 on Google for “life coaching”. David is the author of Get Paid For Who You Are, and is the host of the “Tough Conversations Podcast”. In this episode, we talked about business coaching, hiring strategies, tough conversations…

I sat down once and I thought, all right, I've been coaching for a lot of years now. What's a model or a structure that I could at least use as a checklist to see where people are deficient? And the first step, which you mentioned, is where you're heading. And it's amazing how many people don't write that down. Okay, five years from now, this is where I want to be. One year from now, this is where I want to be. And then we chunk

it back. You got to work backwards because a year is too far out to apply to your day-to-day. So a quarter from now, what's that look like? How would you know to do the happy dance and call your friends and say, I'm nailing it. And then even that's too far out. So we bring it back to a week. Are you doing a weekly plan? I don't care if it's five minutes that you spend. Are you looking at that week and saying, this is what I choose to care about in this week, and this is what I choose not to care about. If you don't have that second list, the first list doesn't really help you because you're going to try and get it done, but you're going to say yes to everything.

Welcome to the Home Service Expert, where each week, Tommy chats with world-class entrepreneurs and experts in various fields like marketing, sales, hiring, and leadership to find out what's really behind their success in business. Now, your host, the home service millionaire, Tommy Mello. Before we get started, I wanted to share two important things with you. First, I want you to implement what you learned today. To do that, you'll have to take a lot of notes. But I also want you to fully concentrate on the interview. So I asked my team to take the notes for you. Just text NOTES to 888-526-1299.

That's 888-526-1299. That's 888-526-1299. And you'll receive a link to download the notes from today's episode. Also, if you haven't got your copy of my newest book, Elevate, go check it out. I'm going to share with you how I attracted and developed a winning team that helped me build a $200 million company in 22 states. Just go to elevateandwin.com forward slash podcast to get your copy. Now let's get into the interview. All right. Welcome back to the home service expert. You guys know me, Tommy Mello here today. I have a man from way down under his name is David Wood. He's an expert in coaching, business growth, leadership. He understands that business is half the problem and a lot of things happen in your personal life that sometimes need to be dealt with as well. A quick bio. He's based in Los Angeles, California. He likes to act as well.

He's the founder of Focus.CEO. He started that in 2020. He's been the CEO of Tough Conversations International. He's the CEO of Play4Real, owner and director of Solution Box, director of Get Paid for Who You Are. Dave is the founder of Focus.CEO, one of the world's largest coaching businesses. He has trained high-performing entrepreneurs, executives, and even prison inmates around the globe, becoming number one on Google for life coaching. Huge accomplishment. He's the author of Get Paid for Who You Are with a forward by Jack Canfield of Chicken Soup fame and one of the hosts of

Tough Conversations podcast. He's also made several appearances in CNN Headlines News and Columbia University. David, it's a pleasure to have you on the podcast today. Thank you, Tommy. I appreciate the welcome. I think there are a lot of titles in there. A lot of those are just different brands I've enjoyed over the years, but the simple version is I like helping business owners. I am one. I relate to it, and I like helping them with the business side. And then once we got the money really rolling, we usually get into the personal stuff.

So I do like all those lofty titles, but it's really just for 25 years, I've been coaching because as I learn something and apply it to my business and my life, I like to pass it on to my clients. You know, I like coaching as well because it really helps me run my business better. You know, when I go to the gym and I'm training someone else, my workouts are 10 times better because I'm pushing myself along, reminding myself where I started. Tell us a little bit about your career founding. You know, you're the founder of Focus CEO. You moved here from Australia. Just give us a little background. Sure. Well, I started in a country town in Australia and I had a tragedy when I was about seven, a family tragedy that I didn't know how it impacted me back then. But later on, looking back, it seems that I shut down the emotional side. And the silver lining is I got

really good at left brain stuff. So business numbers, systems, and money. I came top of my school. I got paid to go to college and then came out with a plum consulting job waiting for me. And at the age of 24, I was on Park Avenue consulting to Sony music and Ford and Exxon as a consulting actuary. So life was looking pretty good, except I wasn't very happy and I was stressed. And so someone encouraged me to go to this personal growth program. And I did not want to go because they smiled way too much and they all wore name tags. And I'm like, I don't trust you people at all, but they were ready for me and they cracked my heart open and I realized I knew nothing about intimacy or emotional intelligence vulnerability authenticity integrity leadership and so thank

god I found that out at age like 26 27 and I've spent the last quarter century catching up on my education and doing my own therapy and sitting with gurus and finding out what it is to really be human and the nature of existence. So I'm a bit of an unusual coach. Most people either focus on business coaching or they focus on the personal. But because of my upbringing, we usually start on the business coaching, but people come to me because they don't just want more money. They want to be happier as well. And they want someone who's going to see all the pieces and how they fit together and can work on the business and the person. There's my long answer to how I got started. And it was all because of that personal growth

program. They went and trained me as a coach. And I resigned as an actuary back in 1998, which is crazy after eight years to qualify. But I was like, I don't want to do this with my life anymore. I just want to help people be happy and grow their businesses. I love that. So many people, one of the things I try to do, the old Simon Sinek, figure out your why, figure out what your goals are. I found three common things for business owners that succeed to the next level. Number one, they have a detailed plan. They know where they're going. They understand exactly what needs to happen today, this week, this month, this quarter, this year. I mean, in detail, they wrote it down. Number two is they're willing to have those tough conversations.

And number three is they're a talent magnet. They know how to get the right people. They can find their weaknesses and hire for those. You're all three of those and you're willing to invest in yourself, be hungry, humble, and have a decent EQ, which you just talked about. I think you're going to succeed. Then there's the people that go to every single event. They listen to every podcast. They take a lot of notes, but they never get started. It's never the right time. They're going to go on a

diet next month. They're going to get started, but it's got to be perfect. And this is going to be fun because these are the best podcasts because you bring a different side of things. So you left the Fortune 100 company 20 years ago, and that's what you were talking about. Tell us a little bit about that. Well, I felt pretty proud of myself at qualifying as an actuary. Like I came top of my school and it was still brutal for me to qualify as an actuary. You study for a year and then you sit a six hour exam at the end of that year and you either pass or fail. And sometimes 80% of people fail that exam and you got to pass at least four of these things. So I don't recommend it unless you're like got an IQ of like maybe 480 and I just don't do it. But that's what I did. And then once I qualified, I did this personal growth program.

And I'm like, I want to work with people about people, not just on money. And so I quit. And that was not easy to quit that job. I moved back to Australia. And I'd always thought if you quit a job, you should take advantage of that break. Because once you get into another job, it might not be easy. You don't have a lot of freedom. A lot of employers aren't happy about you taking six months off to go travel Nepal. So I said, what would I do with myself? And I decided I would love to be an entertainer and play guitar and sing in pubs and parties. And so I actually did that for a year and a half.

Was terrible at it, but good at marketing, right? Bad singer, good marketer. So I got the gigs and I got paid. I just never got invited back to the same place twice. Which if you're listening to this story, you want to ask yourself, do you have a great product, want to ask yourself do you have a great product right if you don't have a great product all the marketing the world isn't going to save you but i needed to get this out of my system so i did that and while i was doing that someone was

starting up coaching and it was very new back in 1998 and i said wow well i got to coach people at landmark education when I did this course. How do I get into that? And it was just kind of starting as a career. And I went and hired the best coach I could afford and said, show me how to do it. And that's what led to me being number one on Google for life coaching. I've coached in 15 different countries and I started gravitating towards business owners because I like the entrepreneurial mindset. It's not for the faint of heart, which you would know it's not for everybody. And it's a constant hustle and I can relate to that. So I'm like,

all right, I'm going to help these people to make it smoother and more fun and more money doesn't hurt. Yeah. I'm a hunter. The hunters are in the single percentile of people. A lot of people say I want to own my own business, but they never really become an entrepreneur. I've got a lot of ADHD. I get a lot of ideas. I stay up at night thinking, but it really comes down for me is time, money, and health, right? Those are like, you look at Steve Jobs, he'd pay anything to have his health back. He'd give it all up to be back, right? So time and health are something you don't think about until it's not there, until you run out. I just went to my girlfriend's grandfather's

funeral this weekend, and the pastor talked a lot about regret. And you don't regret the past, but you could change the future if you just spent quality time with people. And it's something I like to think about. You said that most companies you work with are trying to double, right? And I would say revenue is for vanity, profit is for sanity. I don't care how much revenue you're bringing. And people get into a room and they always talk about, oh, I did 5 million last year. I did 20 million last year, but are you keeping it? So what I'd like to know is you've coached a lot of people. You've helped them grow their revenue and their profits. What are some common underlying things that you see with most companies that where they want to be?

Yeah. I sat down once and I thought, all right, I've been coaching for a lot of years now. What's a model or a structure that I could at least use as a checklist to see where people are deficient? And the first step, which you mentioned, is where you're heading. And it's amazing how many people don't write that down. Okay, five years from now, this is where I want to be. One year from now, this is where I want to be. And then we chunk it back. You got to work backwards because a year is too far out to apply to your day-to-day. So a quarter from now, what's that look like? How would you know to do the happy dance and call your friends and say, I'm nailing it. And then even that's too far out. So we bring it back to a week. Are you doing a weekly plan? I don't care if it's five minutes that you spend.

Are you looking at that week and saying, this is what I choose to care about in this week. And this is what I choose not to care about. If you don't have that second list, the first list doesn't really help you because you're going to try and get it done, but you're going to say yes to everything. And then we got to bring it back to a day. What will you do tomorrow? And here's a great question. If all you get from this interview is this question, I think it could be useful for you guys. If I was only allowed to do two things tomorrow for my business,

what would they be? Great way to focus the mind. And then even that, okay, I got my plan for the day. That's still too vague. It's too much. It doesn't influence what you do in the next 25 minutes. So I'm a big fan of the Pomodoro technique, which is create a 25 minute container and a 25 minute goal. And then game on. All notifications switched off. No one can interrupt me. 25 minutes, this is what I'm doing. Change your life, change your business, change your life. So that's, I identified like nine different areas in a business. And the first one is, I guess I've just outlined two. The first one is what's your plan? Are you planning that out? And then the next one would be, how's your productivity?

Because most of us, our minds are like a monkey on crack and it's just so chaotic. But if you can chunk it back the way I outlined it, and usually takes my clients about three months to get this as a habit, it's a total game changer because now you're achieving twice as much of what matters in half the time. And you're operating at a different speed to everyone else. And it feels satisfying at the end of the day. You actually said, this is what I'm going to do. And then you nail it.

You do that day in, day out. It just feels great. So that's two out of the nine areas. I don't want to talk your ear off. Well, I love this stuff. And it sounds like you've got a structured plan. And I think that to talk your ear off. Well, I love this stuff. And it sounds like you've got a structured plan. And I think that's the key to success. And if it works for one, it usually will work for most. And I go through this stuff all the time. And people ask me,

I had a guy at the last event I did, and he said, I'm just getting into business. What do you recommend? And I'm like, that's a big question because, you know, first of all, I think readers are leaders and there's a lot of great books. Michael Jordan had four coaches at all times. I think smart people always have lots and lots of coaches. They don't want to go through this. A person takes some time of their lifetime to write a book, how to win friends and influence people, Dale Carnegie, great book. And why not learn to love reading? And I think that's the first start is to be understanding and then identifying your weaknesses and deciding if that's what makes, I don't enjoy accounting.

I don't enjoy a lot of things anymore. I do like marketing and sales. So I think recognizing your weaknesses. I think a lot of people, they have this thing that if I try harder at anything, I could do it, especially as an entrepreneur. And I think that's probably true, but you can't do everything. I think it starts with delegation. Why is it that most business owners, they feel so reluctant to get help and delegate and get an assistant and start buying their time back? A couple of resistances usually come up when I start looking at that with people and I try and get them to systematize. One reason is a lot of us think we're the only ones who can handle it.

Other people are going to screw it up. I'm not. So it's got to be me. And the second reason, I think, is we can get so lost in the weeds. We're so reactive to everything because as a business owner, we're handling everything. How are you going to zoom out to the 30,000 foot view and work on your business when you're so busy working in it? And that's where I think something like hiring a coach, and it doesn't have to be that, or you might go and go to the desert for seven days. But something like that can be a trigger to say, hey, wait a minute, let's spend some time each week working on the business and zooming out and saying, what do we need?

And I love, here's one example, something I have my clients do is do an audit of their tasks. So list everything that you do in a week and go through and mark, I call it the 4D audit. Mark a D next to every task. One D might be delete. This doesn't really help the business, takes up too much time. That's off my plate. Another D, delegate. much time that's off my plate another d delegate maybe i can't delegate everything today but this thing i'll delegate next week the week after i'll delegate this three months from now when i've got

the revenue i'll delegate this and create a delegation plan the third d stands for delay i want to do it it's important i'm not ready to drop it, but I don't have the space. I don't have the headspace to do it. None of the resources. So I'm delaying this for some peace of mind. And then the fourth D is do. This is what's left for me. And going through this structure can be a game changer for a lot of people. I talk a lot about that. There was also, it's the Eisenhower matrix is the same thing where you actually put it into quadrants and it's really hard to pick what's going to affect your business the most, but I go back to the same things. What's your average

ticket? What's your conversion rate? What's your booking rate? And what does it cost you to acquire a customer? And I always find something majorly broken because most companies aren't priced right. They say, you don't understand. Not in my market. They've got every reason why they can't build value. And I say this, the steakhouse I go to, it's called Steak 44. Everybody knows about it. Listen to the podcast.

You got to book two weeks out. It's the most expensive steak you'll ever get. You'll spend 500 bucks there with a couple all night, but if not a thousand, why are they booked out two weeks? Why do they call you the next day to make sure you had a good day? Why would anybody pay that? It's so hard to get in that place. And they always say, well, my competitors are cheaper than me, or I can't get those prices. I think they don't believe in themselves. They don't offer anything different. They don't offer an experience. They don't really build the brand up to say, this is who we are. What do you think out of those?

I find a lot of problems in the call center too. And everybody right now is calling me saying, I need more leads. I need more leads. We were spoiled during COVID. Everybody was fixing up their houses. But where do you find the biggest opportunities for businesses to increase profit and revenue off the get-go? I know you have your nine things. Yeah. Well, let me just run through the checklist because part of the problem with a business, a business is so complex. And when you're reacting

each day, it's like, where do I start? Which piece of the business should I work on? So it needs a little bit of triage. It's like, all right, let's just see where the low hanging fruit is. So I already mentioned plot your course. You want to know what your goals are a week out, three months out, a week out and tomorrow. Sorry, a year, three months, a week and tomorrow. And even the next 25 minutes. And then the next number two is productivity. You want to achieve twice as much of what matters in half the time. And then the next number two is productivity. You want to achieve twice as much

of what matters in half the time. And that's not complex. It might take some retraining, but it's not hard. And imagine, can you touch type, Tommy? Yeah. Yeah. So can you imagine if for the past 10 years you couldn't touch type? That's just insane. So learning how to be more productive, it's almost like once you've done it, you would never ever go back to something else. That's number two. Number three is being unstoppable. Most of us will be too reasonable. Something can't be done, all right. Well, other people couldn't do it. So I can't do it. There's a mindset that I got from landmark education, which is about being unstoppable.

If it matters, how can you get it done? And if you have this mindset, then it's the world looks completely different. Number four is filling your funnel. And that's where I get interested in what's your messaging. There's a, is it Clive? Clive, he used to have his last name, came up with something called the five ones, really drilling down. What's the one thing you solve for this one target market with your one major service? And the mind goes, oh, but I want to do five things. I want to do five target markets. So this area in the fourth module is checking your messaging and making sure it's so clear. Like maybe with that steakhouse, everybody knows you're going to get an amazing steak at that steakhouse. Number five, double your conversions. If you're not converting

your traffic, so four with that branding, that also feeds into generating your leads. But if your leads aren't converting, then you're creek without a paddle. And then module six, leveraging your existing customers. Maybe you're selling pretty well, but then that's it. You're not reselling to those customers. You're not getting referrals for them. Let's take advantage of the people who are already loving you. And then seven is about clarifying your genius. What is it that you do really well that no one else does as well and that you love to do?

That's what you should be doing in the business. And all the rest, this brings us to the next module, which is module eight, harness talent. What are you going to offload? And do you have a system for hiring and engaging really good talent? And then the last one is motivating that team. If you don't look after that team, it's incredibly expensive to lose someone and have to go back to scratch and start hiring and training again. So let's look after them. Let's make sure they're empowered, they're motivated. Is there accountability? Do they have clear goals? Do they love working for you? And again, you can't work on all nine

of these. You'll go crazy. But we can do a checklist and look at where you're strong and where you're weak and look at where the low-hanging fruit is. So where can you generate some fast results in three months by maybe taking one or two of these things and nailing it? And then we go and see what's next. These are great things. I actually really enjoy this. Like I told you from the get-go, I'm really working on getting 10 times efficient. And I don't like to pick my clothes out in the morning. So I wear, I have 20 of these shirts. It's like Mark Zuckerberg wears the same t-shirt. It's just simple little things throughout the day. And I keep, if it doesn't get scheduled, it doesn't get done. But now I've been disciplined on my schedule. So much to the point of call mom, because otherwise it won't get done. There's no time

in my schedule. I don't have a lot of breaks, but there are days that I have a complete free day to just brainstorm and use my creative energy that I have. See, I love challenges like that because I have a systems mind because all the programming and all the actuarial science that I studied, I kind of think like an engineer. So I look at what's happening in the day, in the week, in the year, and I'm like, should you really be doing that? You know, let's get someone else doing that so that you can then move on to something else. I told you I'm doing some acting now in LA and I don't know much about the acting world, but I know about systems. And so I started, I was spending 10 hours, 15 hours a week combing

through the websites to see what roles would be appropriate for me and doing a custom submission with a custom note and picking the headshot and the reel, the video clip that I'm going to submit. It's an incredible amount of time. It took about two months of doing that where I'm like, all right, we've got to systemize this. So I hired someone to write some programs and some bots that can now log in as me and find the roles that actually uses some artificial intelligence, find the roles that are a fit, pick the best headshot, pick the best video clip, and write a custom note to apply to the role. I'm submitting to 200, 300 things a week without even seeing it. All I know is when

they write back to me and say, hey, we'd like to see an audition from you. So I like when people have those problems. It's like, okay, let's get you freed up. You mentioned buying your time back, which was a great line that Dan Sullivan, I think, coined. And not everyone's there. For some people, they got to handle other things. But when you get to that leverage conversation, it's pretty exciting. Now, some people have big resistance to that. I just thought of another reason why they don't leverage because they're addicted. They're addicted to staying busy and we get adrenaline and dopamine from staying really, really busy. Well, what would happen? One of my clients wrote to me recently and said, hey, you helped me reduce my workload by 80% and double my business at the same time. Not everybody's up for that because now I got a whole lot of free time. And then that's a whole other conversation. What would you do with that time that would make it worthwhile? So I guess we're peeling an onion, you know?

It's interesting because I had Joe Polish in my house the other day, and he's helping me out, set up my new thing, Home Service Freedom. He speaks at all my events, and he talks about addiction and subbing out good for bad. And it's an interesting thing. He's good friends with Dan Sullivan, Dan Kennedy, all the mentors. I've read all their books. It's interesting to figure out who you are. And there's no one size fits all answer. And that's what coaching is about. Just like when I played a lot of sports, just like weight training, the same things that you're looking for. First, you got to find out what your goals are. What are you trying to do? Lose weight,

gain muscle. You're doing it for health. You're trying to look good at the beach. Like people don't think about business like they should. They should think of it like a sports game with a coach and you got to know the score and you got to know, you got to have a good defense and a good offense and you got to be, get the right coach for special teams. And if they just think I play two a days where we practice twice a day to play one game, we practice 10 times to play one game. You know, the same thing Abraham Lincoln said, I'll give me six hours to chop down a trail from the first four hours sharpening the blade.

Well, people don't think that way. And that's to help them think this way. You talk about tough conversations and this is the hardest thing to have. This is one of the things I delegate. I don't fire people. I don't have the heart for it. Unless you lie, cheat or steal, I'll fight you. That's one thing I don't tolerate. You're gone in a minute. I can fire people in a heartbeat for that. But I've always wanted to be the good guy. And I'm very good at being the good guy, not the bad guy. So I surround myself with people that do tougher conversations. But if you're in my

circle, we're going to have really tough conversations. And I'm going to tell you what I expect because it's what I do. The closest 10 people to me, I have the hardest conversations with, and it's not easy, but can you define a tough conversation? What you mean by having a conversation? Yeah. And I've never said this before, but it just came to me. A tough conversation is the one you don't want to have. And right. That's a tough conversation. And we grow up like I didn't grow up with a family that said, hey, how are you feeling, David? You seem like you're angry.

Do you want to say more about that? Tell me about your anger. Do you want to beat a pillow or something? Or, hey, you seem really sad that we're not going to the zoo. That makes a lot of sense. Tell me, how does that feel? Where is it in your body? My parents weren't raised like that, so they didn't raise me like that. So we learn to be careful, and that's fine. It's a survival mechanism. We get very careful, and we learn that if we just blurt out how we're feeling,

that might trigger something in the other person. They might be sensitive and now they're angry. And so now they're yelling at us and now I'm having a feeling about that. Now I feel really shitty, like I shouldn't have said something. And then maybe I yell back and now they've got something else. We're pretty bumpy as people. And the sad part for me is if you're anything like me, you learn to be careful and you just learned, well, those conversations just won't fly. So I'm not going to tell someone that I feel disappointed by something they did, or I won't tell someone that I feel betrayed by what they did because I figure they'll get defensive and it's not going to go well. Or I won't confess that I screwed up at work because I might lose my job.

Or if I broke an agreement with my partner, let's say I was unfaithful, even a little bit, I might be worried I'm going to lose the relationship. So I understand it. But where I get sad is it disconnects us. And we now have to watch movies and people on social media who inspire us by telling the truth. And we say, oh, that's brave. Look, he just went and did that and risked everything and then got the happy ending he wanted. That's awesome. Wish I could be like that. Well, I discovered through some luck because I had some really good coaches that the magic that's available in movies is available in our everyday life. What we need is a roadmap of how to have those conversations and how to share those things that are awkward we need role models of people doing it so we can go oh that's the new normal i can

go and have that and then we need some courage we need to be willing to brave the other person's emotions and our own in service of deeper connection. And because I didn't wake up one day and say, my God, I want to be a tough conversations coach. No, I was just encouraged by coach after coach after coach to go and share those things that were hard, like crazy stuff. Even going back to high school with the bully that I hated. They're like, hey, if you hate that guy, then there's something in your energy field. You want to clear that? Sure. Great. Call him. No, not doing that. I didn't have a roadmap, but with their, and I didn't have the courage, but with their encouragement, which I guess that's, you know, encourages instilling courage in somebody else.

They did that and they helped me with a roadmap and I'd go and have that call and I'd leave the call blown away with the connection that I generated from an enemy I'd had for 20 years. I'm like, whoa. And then I'd have the next one with a boss that, you know, things didn't end well when I left the company and I'd call him and we with a boss that, you know, things didn't end well when I left the company and I'd call him and we'd sort it out and he'd start telling me about his divorce. I'm like, how did me go from losing sleep thinking that this guy's bad mouthing me in the industry to finding out that he's totally fine. My apology was all he needed. And now he's sharing about his personal life. I'm like, how did that happen? We're just people. And so I ended up falling into the tough conversations coach role because I've had so many of them. It's hard when you're in it to see how to have the conversation.

When my clients come, like I had a client today, he's a a manager there's really bad news for the company the share price just dropped 40 percent what does that do to everybody's stock options people are freaking out he's like how do I handle this so we did a role play and I said I'm going to be you and I started speaking I said let's see what comes out and he's taking notes and he was able to see and and after I did it I said what did you notice what comes out. And he's taken notes. And he was able to see. And after I did it, I said, what did you notice? And we were able to pull out the elements like naming the truth. Hey, this sucks.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Naming the emotions. Some of you may be scared, upset, even angry. I feel all three of those things. Right? So now we're all having a shared experience let's hear about impact how's this how's this impacting you guys and then you know people get to talk about it and then finally what are we going to do about it right so i love this stuff

because someone can go from i don't know how to do this to, oh, I fully know how I can empower people. Very powerful. I think about Jeff Bathos and he goes, I don't get excited when we have a good year. He goes, I got a five-year plan. He goes, the stock's fluctuated. I've lost 80% one day. I've been up 500%, you know, the next two quarters. And, you know, the infinite game is understanding we're going to do what's best for the long game. And I think people are so short-sighted. They only see this year instead of underestimating what they could do in five. You know who's brutally honest is Dan Pena. And I don't know why so many people are attracted to him but you know

he says all kinds of vulgar scene things and just people go out and visit him at his castle whatever and i don't see the draw but i enjoy watching him i will say it's just funny for me because he's like all of you guys i'll fight a bear and i'm like okay you know yeah well there's honesty and there's honesty like you can be honest without any kindness attached to it, or you can be caring and tell the truth. You can ask for consent. Hey, I did something that's been on my mind. I'd like to clear the air so we can have a better working relationship. You got 10 minutes that maybe I can share it. I did a one pager, just a cheat sheet for any tough conversation. It ask you some questions help you get clear

and you can take that sheet with you when you have the conversation say i wrote down some notes so i don't forget anything you don't have to magically become an expert at this overnight um where do we get that cheat sheet you can go to focus.ceo we're going to go to it right now and uh look in the menu in the navigation and resources and there's something called the care model c-a-r-e so you'll find it under resources at focus.co c-a-r-e i recommend printing off 10 copies and have them available on your desk because you won't even know what your tough conversations are because your mind hides them from you. Your mind just says, oh, that's not going to fly. That's not going to fly. Oh, can't say that. So you don't even

know about them. But when your mind goes, oh, maybe that's what he was talking about. I could maybe bring that up. Just two weeks ago, I was complaining. And by the way, great tip that you have a tough conversation waiting. When you're complaining to someone else, I was complaining to someone that a buddy of mine, whenever I'd share a win, he would dismiss it and say, I should be aiming five times higher. And it was really frustrating. And my friend said, the magic words, is that something you could talk to him about? I'm like, thank you. Didn't even see it. You're right. And so the next day I called him and I said, can we talk about this? There's something that has created a distance between us and I'd like to get rid of it because I like you and I want us to have a good friendship. And he said, oh, what do you got? Tell me, how can I help you? And so I told him and he's like, man, I do do that. And I really want to change it. And I tell you, since we had that conversation, I've seen him catch himself three times when he's gone to tell me I should be doing something else and go, oh, wait, I did it

again. I celebrate you, right? So he's actually growing and developing because of it, but I didn't even think to have the conversation. So print off the care model. It's a free download. You have to put your email address in, but you can unsubscribe if you don't want to get emails from me. I send about two videos a week and then fill it in for any tough conversation. I got one client hasn't spoken to his dad in years. Let's call that a big one. Okay. So you could fill in a worksheet on that. Doesn't mean you have to have the conversation. Just fill in the sheet. The sheet will help you decide if it's a conversation you're willing to have or not, but it'll at least give

you clarity. That's powerful. It's good stuff. You know, I think when I enter a room, I just was doing an orientation with about 15 new employees and I do an orientation every month. This was just technicians. And the guy said, what do you think your biggest strength is? And I said, I think it's that I'm not And I said, I think it's that I'm not afraid to fail. I think it's that I'm not afraid to ask for help all the time. My grandpa and my dad were men's men. Even if they went the wrong direction, they wouldn't stop for directions. They figured out, they'd take it apart, they'd fix it themselves. And I said, I've kind of had to disassemble that and change the norm of my family tree

and just not be afraid to take a step in the wrong direction and fail and get going. And I said, I pride myself on my failure. I just try not to fall the same way I did last time. And I make quick mistakes, quick mistakes. I don't gamble on the farm, tiptoe in and I make a mistake and I go the right way. And the next thing I wanted to talk about is just calculated risks. I think owners are waiting for perfection. They're never ready to get started. They're looking for the magic pill. How do I get the GM like you have to make things perfect? And how do I get a CFO? And what do I got to do to get my price book to where my guys are actually selling

it for that? And you talk a lot about calculated risks, being courageous. Can you talk to me a little bit about that? Man, this is one of my favorite questions because I'm such a nerd as an actuary doing probability and statistics. So I was helping people with risk assessment within the Fortune 100 industry. And now I get to apply that stuff to simple decisions in someone's life. I think we take stupid risks that have no upside on the wrong things, and then the things that are good risks, good bets, we won't take those. And here's an example. You drive a car without a seatbelt, you're an idiot, all right? I'm not going to sugarcoat it. You're an idiot. The upside is you have a little bit of freedom. You can move your shoulders more. That's the

upside. The downside, you end up a paraplegic or dead. That's an example of a stupid risk. Also, if you smoke cigarettes or probably if you eat processed sugar, that's an example of a risk that just has very little upside and a massive downside. I jump off cliffs, or at least I used to. I used to be a paragliding pilot. I'll take the risk, but I wear the helmet. Now, let's look at some risks where people are like, no, I don't want to do that, but there's really no, very little downside and a lot of upside. If you're single, asking that girl out or asking that guy out. The downside is you might feel rejection. The upside is you can have a great date. Same thing in business. What about asking Jack Canfield to write the foreword to your book or Richard Branson? That was scary for me asking both of those guys and Steve Wynn

from Wynn Hotels. That was terrifying. But that's an example of a bet that you want to place every single day. You want to do a thousand of those because it gets easier and there's not a lot of downside. And at the end of the day, there's big upside. I have to do this now as an actor, as an actor, you have to do, you know, up to a hundred auditions to get one role. And so you have to place those bets. So I think we've got our risk assessment skewed and I want to, I encourage my clients and podcast listeners to take good bets. If it's a good bet, do it over and over and over again. Ask that celebrity to endorse your product.

Ask that person to write the foreword to your book. Ask that person if you can be on their stage. Go and do that day in, day out. Ask that person to be a customer. Invite them. Do it and do it again and do it again and get better at it. Those are the risks I want you to take. Tell somebody the truth. Make a confession. You might lose your relationship. You might lose your job, but it's such a noble enterprise.

Let's use the relationship as an example. If you confess to something to your partner and your partner takes that information and decides that they no longer want to be your partner, maybe that's what is supposed to happen. If you lose your job because you confess to something you actually did, maybe that's not the job for you. Maybe that's not where you should be if they're not going to give you a second shot at it.

But if you do do it and the magic of movies happens, which I've seen over and over again, when now you're in connection and now you're flowing, I say those are good risks worth taking. Now, you may decide you're not willing to risk your relationship. Okay? I don't agree with it. I have a different moral stance, but I can understand it and respect it. You may decide you're not going to tell the police what you did because you don't want to go to jail. Hey, when I used to get to the airport coming into this country and they say,

are you going to do any work while you're here, Mr. Wood? Well, hey, I'm probably going to work on my laptop. I'm going to probably call some clients. If I can get a new client, you know, maybe that'd be a great thing, but I don't want to have that conversation with immigration. No, sir. Right? I'm not saying you have to tell the truth all the time, but use the worksheet to decide if this is a good bet or if it's a bad bet. We've got our, your risk assessment is off for most of us. And so the worksheet can help you get back on track and go, all right, this is a good bet. I'm going to do this day in, day out. This one, that's not a good bet. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to take that risk. That's my spiel on that. I love it. I have everybody that works here,

read the book, go for no, go for no, don't be afraid of no, no could be your best friend. And, you know, I always tell this story. I had a buddy of mine that just, I watched him one night because this guy, he's a fairly good looking guy and he just, he wasn't afraid of anything. And I watched him walk up to a group of girls. And if he didn't feel the chemistry, he'd go on to the next group and it didn't even bother him. It wasn't his shot at his looks or his personality. He just knew if he was jiving and I just figured out really quickly, this guy just doesn't care. He wants to get a connection. And when you're afraid, I'm curious to see how you were able to

ask some of these people in the way that you asked, because I listened to something by Alex Ramosi and he goes, everybody always asks me, what can I do for you? And he's like, there's nothing I have for you to do. Like, you know, if I said, David, Mr. David Wood, what can I do for you? What keeps you up at night? You'd be like, well, you know, who are you? Why not go out there and figure out what their passions are and do them for them? Like Steve Sims talks about. Yeah. I know, I know Steve and I know Alex pretty well. He's a genius, Alex Mendoza. And we might have to save that for a round two someday because I have a hard stop in three minutes.

I do too. So I do love that topic of like, how do you ask that? And how do you pitch it in a way that feels fun for you and fun for them? I don't do this very often, but I think I want to do a round two. And, you know, I think this is amazing. This is one of the better podcasts i've had over 330 really really good data really good knowledge really fun i enjoyed the heck out of this if somebody wants to reach out to you david what's the best way to do so well thank you for saying

that tommy that made my day a little brighter it's nice hearing that that what I'm putting out there in the world is landing. So I really appreciate hearing that. And I'd be very happy to do a round two with you. And we can drill into a couple of these. How people can find out more. If you just want some information, some free stuff, go to focus.ceo and get on my list. I send out a couple of videos a week that'll help you. If you want personal attention, if you're like, hang on, no, I want you to help me with my business and my life. I'm experimenting with something this week. I'm going to make an offer I've never made on a podcast. The way I've done it for like 15, 20 years, I've just had a fixed fee. It's $2,000

a month, no matter where your business is at. If you can afford it, great. If you can't, okay, that's fine. I respect it. But since the pandemic, I know a lot of businesses haven't really bounced back and I've thought, let's try a sliding scale. So I'm going to offer this for listeners of your podcast. If you're interested in coaching with me, I will offer a sliding scale based on your revenue. So if you're not making like 500,000 a year, a million year plus, whatever, it may not be appropriate for you to pay 2,000 a month for coaching. I don't want you to. So the sliding scale will be from 300 a month up to 2,000, depending on where you're at in your business.

We'd work out something that feels good for both of us. And if you want this, go to focus.ceo, click on apply for coaching. It doesn't commit either one of us to anything. And in the intake form that follows, mention sliding scale and mention Tommy Mello. Do those two things. So I know that this was from an offer I made to you guys and that intake form is awesome. It's going to ask you probing questions and work out what you want and what's in the way. And we'll get on a call and see if we're even a fit. And if we are, we can work out a sliding scale that'll work for you. And I hope that's a value to some people who aren't, you know, they're not making the big bucks yet, but they plan to be, and they could use a high-performance coach

at a lower performance rate. Here's a quick tip for everybody. When you go to fill out a complicated form that you just don't feel like filling out, like I just did one for my nutritionist, all I did is make a video of all the answers and had my assistant type it all out. It's very simple.

It took me less than 10 minutes. David, let me say this is not an hour form. This is a 10 minute form that you could probably get done in five minutes, but it's going to give us both really good information about you. And then it'll take you to my calendar. David, is there any one book that you would say changed your life that the people on this podcast need to listen to? You mentioned before to pick up the Ex-Opreneur, but is there one book that is a must-read that's not Michael Gerber E-Myth or Rocket Fuel, just something that's out of the norm? Well, that is interesting. The E-Myth didn't

change my business thinking. It gave me my business thinking. Yeah, this will be out of the norm. And it's not the book, it's the person. Byron Katie is a teacher, and she's got a book called Loving What Is. And she taught me that the worst thing that can happen to you is a thought. It's almost like watching The Matrix and waking up and realizing that you've been in a matrix your whole life and didn't even know it. So I think she's absolutely brilliant. The book didn't change my life, but it was my entry point to Katie. And then I went and did her course and I was like, oh my God, I've never met anyone as clear as this woman. She's all about alleviating suffering. If you're stressed, you're upset,

whatever, it's all optional. And she's got a process that takes about 10 minutes that can help bust any thought that's causing you pain here's the kicker it's only a thought that can ever cause you suffering that's the only thing that ever can so there's my recommendation the book will give you an entry point but you can go watch free videos on Byron Katie too and just listen to her and you'll start to get a sense of her straight away. All right, everybody. David Wood, you got to go to focus.ceo. Big fan of yours already. I'm definitely going to do some reading here.

And yeah, I really appreciate your time. I know you got a hard stop. I'll respect that. And look forward to catching up with you down the line here. Same here, man. I'm going to go and stalk you on social media. I bet we've got a lot of people in common, man. So I'm going to hit you up on Facebook and LinkedIn and Instagram and follow you because I've enjoyed this too. I look forward to more. Thank you, David. Have a great day. Hey there. Thanks for tuning into the podcast today. Before I let you

go, I want to let everybody know that Elevate is out and ready to buy. I can share with you how I attracted a winning team of over 700 employees in over 20 states. The insights in this book are powerful and can be applied to any business or organization. It's a real game changer for anyone looking to build and develop a high-performing team like over here at A1 Garage Door Service. So if you want to learn the secrets that helped me transfer my team from stealing the toilet paper to a group of 700 plus employees rowing in the same direction, head over to elevateandwin.com forward slash podcast and grab a copy of the book. Thanks again for listening and we'll catch up with you next time on the podcast.