The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - 329: Piff the Magic Dragon Goes Clone

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

My HoneyDew this week is magician and comedian John van der Put a.k.a. Piff the Magic Dragon! Check out his special Piff the Magic Dragon: Reptile Dysfunction, or catch him performing live at the Flamingo in Las Vegas. Piff joins me to Highlight the Lowlights of his journey to becoming a performer. We dive into what inspired his love for magic, how one of his biggest idols ended up getting arrested, and the wild process of having his late chihuahua, Mr. Piffles, cloned! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON - The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! Get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! AND we just added a second tier. For a total of $8/month, you get everything from the first tier, PLUS The Wayback a day early, ad-free AND censor free AND extra bonus content you won't see anywhere else! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] Get Your HoneyDew Gear Today! https://shop.ryansickler.com/ Ringtones Are Available Now! https://www.apple.com/itunes/ http://ryansickler.com/ https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: The Farmers Dog -Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at https://www.TheFarmersDog.com/HONEYDEW  PLUS, get FREE shipping! Betterhelp -Visit https://www.Betterhelp.com/HONEYDEW to get 10% off your first month

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. I want to say thank you to everyone out there who supports this show, who supports anything I do. I'm genuinely grateful for you guys. If you got to have more of this show than I tell you every week

and have been for years, you got to have the Patreon. It's this show, The Honeydew with y'all. And you guys have the wildest stories on the Internet. It's five bucks a month. All right. And if you or someone you know, has a story that has to be heard, please submit it to honeydewpodcast at gmail.com. Hopefully we get to do an episode together. If you've already submitted bump it up, resubmit. We get a lot of them.

We would love to do an episode with you guys. All right. That's the biz. And you know what we're doing over here. We're highlighting the low lights and I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I am very excited to have this guest on here. First time on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Pift the Magic Dragon, John Vanderputt. Hello. Welcome to the Honeydew.

Thanks for having me. Look at that. Hell yeah, buddy. I came half dragon today. Half dragon. I'm going with half dragon. Yeah. Half dragon is more than enough.

You know. Well, I've never met you before. I've been having a great time talking to you before we get into your story. Please promote everything and anything you'd like. You're special. All of it. Yeah. I have a show in Las Vegas at the Flamingo six nights a week and forever until

the end of 27, we just got renewed for another three years. How many years you've been doing it already? This is our 10th year. Damn, good for you. 10th year. Six nights a week. Six nights a week. How long is the show?

It's like a 90 minute show. Okay, that's a lot. Yes. It's a lot, bro. It's just me shouting consistently all the way through it. Usually at small children. Because people, they see the dragon outfit and they're like, oh yeah, let's bring along a five year old.

And then by the end of the show, the kids crying, they're leaving the shouts of obscenities, it's not good. But, um, so we have that show and then we also tour when we just sort of did it all the time on our, on our dark night and Friday night is our day off. So we'll do the show Thursday, get a red eye, land, do a tour show Friday and then Saturday morning, come back to Vegas. And those dates are piftamagicdragon.com slash tour. And adding all new dates all the time. There are a whole bunch of dates up there. And we have a special Piftamagic Dragon reptile dysfunction, which is, uh, and that stars me and, uh,

Penn Jillette from course. Yeah. He plays my father who comes back into town for one last go around. So, uh, that's been out for a couple of years and I've always loved Penn and Taylor. Have you been, were you a Penn and Teller fan before you met them? I got, I actually got my big break on their show in 2011. And, um, like the idea of the show is you go on and you, and you try and fool

them with a magic trick and I go on and I do it and, um, I wasn't really interested in whether I fooled them or not. I was just like happy to be there, but they basically sort of didn't, they didn't really know how it worked. The trick I did. And then Teller comes up to me and he draws something and it was like, it was like nothing to do with how my trick worked. And I just went, sure buddy, whatever it is, you know, why not?

And, um, and so they were like, oh, you didn't fool us. And I came off the show and I thought it was a disaster. And then when it aired, like four months later, everything blew up, made, made my career, it was like my start, the start of my career. And they said, we're really sorry. You fooled us. We just didn't admit it. Although now I still argue with them over that.

Is that right? They say I fooled them. I'm like, I didn't fool you. You know, it works. But, um, yeah, that was like my first big break in this business. Right. So let's go back to the very beginning. Tell me, where are you from originally?

Mom, dad, siblings? I'm from London. Okay. In the UK, originally. I have a mom, I have a dad. They are about to celebrate their 50th anniversary. They're still together and alive and well. All right.

They got engaged on their first date. Come on. On their first date. That's true. How did they meet? What was their first date? They met, they went through church. They knew each other in the church they went to.

They went to the movies and I think on the way, you know, when my dad dropped my mom off, he was down on one knee proposing. Did he have the ring already? Like, did he know going into this? He can't have had the ring. If he did, he's a psycho. If he did, he's a psycho. If he did, I'm questioning my mother and every choice she made.

And now the worst thing is I'm going to have to ask. How old were they when they did this? Eleven. No, they were. That had to not be much later. I think it was like mid thirties. Mid thirties, I later. I think it was like mid thirties. Oh, it's later I thought. Early thirties, mid thirties I think. That's also, I would expect a younger couple to make a rash decision like,

and not a couple in their, and it's still 50 years. And then they got married three months later. They didn't even let it settle for a couple of years. Three months later they got married. So engaged, date one and three months months later they're already fully married. Wow. And almost 50 years still together.

Crazy. That is crazy. Yeah. So I was very lucky. And I also have a brother and a sister. Younger brother, older sister. Okay. And what did your parents do?

What were they doing? My dad was in insurance. Okay. And my mom looked after the house and brought up the kids, brought up us kids and, but she also then like, after we were growing up, she like, what started working as a, uh, supply as a, uh, like a assistant teacher. And, um, she loved that. She still, she still kind of keeps busy with that stuff.

Is your dad retired now? He's retired. He's, um, he's being a writer now, but your mom still likes to sort of stay involved with that stuff. Is your dad retired now? He's retired. He's, um, he's being a writer now. But your mom still likes to sort of stay involved with that. Yeah. She likes to keep her head. Like that's cute. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, what about your brother? What does he do? He's a director. Is he? Yeah. Have you worked together yet? No, no, we worked together a lot.

We kill each other if you work together. He would kill me. I think. Yeah. Yeah. Um, we worked together when I first started doing you know like some stand-up him and I did a double act and I loved it but he wasn't for him. So he's he does these great little short film like very serious short films about real issues and trauma.

So what came first for you, stand up or magic? It was magic. It was. For sure, for sure. And that's the thing is like, I put like bits of stand up in my shows still and I'll do like five, 10 minutes here and there. But I always come back to the magic

because I love that you can like create this thing that's completely impossible and no one has done it in the world ever, you know? And it's like this trick that you can suddenly pay your rent with. But these days what I try and do is I try and think of the funny idea first. This is what I wanted to ask. Yeah. You think of the idea. Yeah.

And so like, common in magic is one of the worst things there is on the face of the earth. I actually grew up hating magic. I hate probably 99.5% of it. I think like most magicians out there are just lazy and just, uh, you know, they buy the trick and they just copy the person who's, you know, video this show. I also, back in the day when I was writing and producing as well in TV, I worked, uh, I wrote promos for a show called the hidden secrets of magic or

something like that. And they were like, we're going to make this SUV disappear. And they literally dropped a curtain But hooks on top of the fucking thing and then raise it up. I was like, hold on. I don't know anything about magic That's how I would do that. Exactly. I mean like that's not magic. That's just cheating Exactly. I was like, well, that's not magic. So then when I see guys who come around I'm a big sleight of hand fan, right? I like watching someone right in front of my face fool me.

Make my whole brain, eyes, and senses lie to me right there in front of my fucking face. I like that. That's how I started. I was like that for like 20 years, just slight of hand magic. What was the thing that, what was it for you that you saw where you're like that?

And what did you start digging with? There was a show, late night, BBC Two in the UK that had these magicians like amazing Jonathan, an English guy called Jerry Satterwick. Can I just tell you one of my favorite things he used to do, I used to watch him a lot stand up and he go, anybody have a lighter? Anybody have a lighter? And somebody like, I got one and go throw it up here and they throw it up and he just put it in a jar and set it down.

I'm like, it was a, that shit. I don't know why I remember that. I laughed. I got some fucking good, did you see, um, did you see that bit we did with the tiny arm? No, he's there on a t-shirt and he's like, now listen, I've been in this business for a long time and I've actually been hiding a secret and I'm tired of it. I want to just be me. This is a prosthetic.

This is not real. Um, so look, let me just show you. And he turns around and he comes back and he's got like a plastic baby arm. And he's like, this is my real arm. And everyone just like loses it. And he's like, how are you laughing at this? I come out here showing you the real me and you just laugh openly in my face. I was just on the floor. It was so good. And then he's like, you know, he's like trying to hold the mic. He's trying to wipe his face with the tiny.

I was like, Oh my God, this is the greatest thing of all time. So yeah, I actually, I was lucky enough to meet him and spend some time with him. Just the funniest guy. Well, you're also, what I'm hearing is guys like him who you admired and Penn, they seem to respect you as well. Yeah, that's the thing. From that break on that TV show, the biggest thing that happened was it was just as YouTube was kind of like really kicking in.

It got sent all around the world and all these people, like all these people who are my heroes watched it. So I went to Las Vegas a year later to do some magic convention thing. Everyone knew who I was. Wow. It was crazy. I mean, but you know how they knew as well because so I did that show in 2011. 2012, I go to Vegas.

The night before I go, somebody sends me a clip of a Russian magic show and they have this guy who dresses up as me and he does my act move for move, beat for beat. The only thing you change is I have a Chihuahua, he has a guinea pig. It was unbelievable. What do you call yourself? He calls himself Andre the magic dragon or something. It's his name is Andre. It was unbelievable. What did he call himself? He called himself Andre the Magic Dragon or something. Because his name was Andre. It was amazing. But you know,

you know when they remade Psycho, it was Gus Fonset. He did the just the color remade. It was like that. It was like shot for shot. They even did all the shots that the directors cut too. It's unbelievable. I've made it like I will put it on my YouTube channel or something.

I don't know. But so that happened. And when I landed in Vegas, all of these musicians were outraged and all of these, you know, like David Copperfield, Lance Birx and all these guys, they knew about it. So yeah, Penn and Taylor were the ones who made my career. That's great. What was your first show? I don't know. It was that I was, I was elementary school or you just do it. Yeah. Like friends birthday parties. What was the first trick you really mastered?

Mastered? Yeah. But the first trick I loved was the linking rings. They have these little silver rings and you, you know, and the reason I loved them was because I met this, the first time I really saw magic was, it was like a, it was like a Ren fair, but we didn't really have those in the UK, but it was like one of those. And they had a jester there and he was doing these linking rings and he gave two to me and they linked in my hands and then they unlinked and I was like, oh my god, I could do magic. I can do this guys I'm a natural I should so then I like begged my mom to buy me that trick and It arrived and I was like wait. This is all broken like these two are already stuck together. This one's got a hole in it

What's going on? And then I realized that like oh, yeah to do sleight of hand to make it all look the same But I was telling like I was, we had to do sleight of hand to make it all look the same. But I was telling you, I was telling you earlier, that was the guy. Uh, my mom had a photo of that guy. And, um, and years later, I said to all my magician friends, I knew who's this guy, cause this is the moment I took up magic and they've tracked him down. And they were like, Oh yeah, his name's such and such he's in jail. Cause he punched the nine year old in the face. In the face.

And went to jail. That's where you do want to get. I was like, yes, that's the origin story I need. He lost to his fucking shit. I'm like no more of this guy. Cause he's just dealing with dickheads like me being like, Oh, I can do this. I've got a super power. Yeah. Like I'm tired of you.

Yeah. So great. Um, when you're. So, yeah, so I did that, but then what happened was, um, the more I started getting, I started loving comedy more and more and I, I didn't like doing the tricks without jokes. And then eventually you get, you know, I sort of saying about comedy magic. The best way is when Penn and Teller are the masters at this.

Jonathan used to do it. Like the premise is funny. So we've got, you know, like at the moment in the Vegas show, my dog, someone names a drink, any drink, and my dog pisses it into a cup. And we and they can drink it it and it's the real drink. So like that, it's like straight away, I already want to see that trick in action. You know, whereas if like, if I was saying to you, okay, you choose a card, right? Then you write your name on it and then you put it back and it disappears. It's in my pocket, but then it's in

my wallet. It's like, oh, who cares? I don't care about that. Like give me a dog pissing a drink any day. So that's the, that was the sort of magic I really got into. So in your act, as you're coming up with things, are you like as a comedian, once we drop our special, we don't do that material anymore, we go out. So are you constantly having to come up with new tricks too? And do you- Yeah, but it's much worse. But do you do like, what matters to you more?

Do you come up with new jokes as well? Or are you like, my jokes are good, these tricks are what I need to be. Comedians are always like, oh, we've got to have new material. My life is so hard. It's like, you don't have to do the impossible. Like basically, you can go on stage, you could try a joke. And if it bums, you just go, Oh, I'll come back tomorrow.

Like magicians and there are like five famous magicians, maybe think of all the comedians out there. Maybe there were like five famous magicians. So it's a much higher bar to entry because you have to come up with an idea that's impossible. Then you have to find a way to do it. Then you have to find a way to do it on stage live in front of people. You try it in front of people and the people go, nah, not really into this. So then you have to remake all. So this whole process, like a two, three year process, tens of thousands of dollars to get like one new bit. That's

like three, four minutes. So, um, we all try like to not put our good shit on TV, but you have to do something to get, so we burn some stuff. Um, you know, I've probably got like, I've been doing this 20, I've been doing this fifth of my dragon act like 15 years and I've probably got two and a half hours of stuff if I stretch. You know? And like all of it is blood, sweat and tears. Yeah. And like years and years of development into it.

Have you, can you tell us a time where maybe you've ever like literally dropped the joke, like the trick or fucked up? Oh, all the time. All the time. But where we would notice it or you can cover that shit up. We're, you know, so good now.

Yeah, no, there was like. And how do you recover to use comedy since you're already in that sort of realm to play it off? There was just recently, right? Just recently. I had this childhood idol magician called Guy Hollenworth. And if you like sleight of hand, I'll say, interesting stuff is like the greatest sleight of hand of all time. And he's like this very charming English guy.

I love him to bits. So, um, but you know, when you meet people and you're like, oh, we're from two different worlds, we will never be friends. This, you know, the dream of us hanging out together will never come true. you know, the dream of us hanging out together will never come true. So, um, then he comes to Vegas and his partner wants to come and see my show. And I'm like, really? Maybe the dreams back on.

So I'm like, okay, come, come to the show, come to the show. So they come to the show and bear in mind, this is a show I've done, you know, for like three years, at least five nights a week. Um, this is like bedded in material. Every single thing that could go wrong went wrong. And, and, and, and when I say we're wrong, they went wrong without an ending. It was just like, Oh, this is, we just have to stop now and just go to the next bit because we can't, there's no clean up, you know, I used to say like, you know, tricks don't go wrong. They just have different endings.

No, sometimes they just, you're just done. And we, we end up, it was so bad. We fired like one of our staff members over it because they just kept messing everything up so badly. And I was just like, Oh, there's nothing I can do to, to, to take back what just happened. My childhood idol will never see the show again. And this is what they remember. And some stuff like that, you say, that's when magic sucks.

Cause it just like, it's just terrible. But that's like, like, it's like a 1% occurrence usually, cause you're dealing with physics and physics doesn't always work. Or it comes up with new types of physics that you hadn't thought of. So yeah, like, 99% but I don't think the nice thing is, you know, so I think magicians have

a lot worse when it comes to new material. But I think comedians have a lot worse when it comes to bombing the magicians. Cause magicians often, if you can get to the end of a trick, the audience is going to applaud. Even if you can't, you got another one coming right behind it. That's going to make them forget about that. You can normally get off stage, you know, to some sort of ovation. But as a, you know, as a comedian, you know, when I've done standup and I've got nothing there behind me, I'm like,

oh, I miss it so much. I miss it. I just want that like, and there's the five clubs. My name's Peppermint Dragon. I know. We were talking before the show. So let me ask you this, because you talked about some health issues you had before we recorded. But how long, you said 2011 is where it really sort of popped off. But how long had you been doing this before? You know, what's the grind for you? I was a late developer for sure. You were?

Yeah. How old were you when you started? I started when I was 14, 15 doing magic and like little magic shows. Then when I went to university and because I went there to get a backup degree in case the magic didn't work out and, um, and I did cartridge all the way through university, I studied computer science and I thought I was going to learn useful things, but it was no, it was like ones and zeros. So I was in lectures and the guy was like, okay, you want to go one, zero, zero,

one, one, zero, zero, zero, one, one, one, zero. Of course you don't want to do one zero zero one one, one, zero, one, zero, one. That would be stupid. Right. And the whole class would laugh and I'd be like, I don't know what's happening. So, um, so I did that and then I got a job in it when I came back. And then I like had this weird pain in my side and it went on for like six weeks. And then, and this is how old are you when this is 22.

Okay. And, um, I just was like, Oh, this doesn't feel good. I think I should go to the hospital and I went and they were like, Oh yeah, you should lie down here for a little bit. And um, I think I stayed there for like six weeks. Whoa. Yeah. And, um, it turned that they didn't know what it was for six weeks, six weeks.

And it was just a mess. It was like horrible stomach pain. And so it took them two years to find out what it was. Get the fuck out of here. Two years. Six weeks. You're in there. One. So when did they release you? Why are they like, OK, well, here you go. And two years later.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I'm saying so six weeks I get out and then a month later I'm back in and then I'm in out for two years. Oh, I thought saying so six weeks I get out and then a month later I'm back in and then I'm in out for two years Oh, I thought you meant they oh my god, you're going back and back and forth for two years For them. What was it? It was it turned out to be pancreatitis Really pancreatitis which you get in a couple of ways Mostly you get it through drinking So which means you don't get any sympathy as a patient

Because like wow, you did it to yourself, didn't you? Can they tell? They can tell it's alcohol induced. No, no, they, they can tell, but people who hear about it don't know. They just assume that it was because it's so rare to get it any other way. I got it the other way, which is like, you have a couple of tubes in your pancreas and one of mine was missing the middle, which is not a good design in a tube. So, um, all of the pancreas stuff was getting all backed up and it's very, you

know, this is where I'm like, how is life a real thing, but your pancreas emits, like, like gives out this liquid that has a time delay on it. And, um, when it gets to your stomach, it activates and then di, uh, dissolves all the meat in your stomach. Is that right? Yeah. That's how that shit works. Yeah.

I had no idea. Well, the problem is if it doesn't get there, it's got the time done on it. So it starts digesting your pancreas. Oh, it starts digesting itself. Yeah. And that's what's happening to your body for two years. Your pancreas is eating itself. Yeah.

And I didn't know. So then I found out and it carried on eating itself for another two years because they tried all this stuff. And in the end they were like, um, okay, there is an operation we can do where we can like cut the top of your pancreas off and stick your intestine up there and sew it together. And, and I was like, Oh, that doesn't sound safe. And they were, it was very unsafe, actually.

Funny you brought that up. They were like, actually good thing you mentioned. Yeah. And it was something like, it was something like, well, cause it was the only way. That was the, that was really was. It was the only way it was that or continue to like have this like attacks

all the time and just deal with it all the time. Is it, was it deadly if you kept it going? Eventually. Yeah. Eventually. Yeah. So that's what they ended up having to do. So they did this right.

And they're like, it was a one in three chance of like oh the odds suck too one If I'm like buddy, I oh one in three is not So you could end up going through this whole surgery and still it doesn't work and you still have problems No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're not talking about dying. It was a one in three chance that you don't get through the operation For real they were saying yeah, You don't even make it. Why? What happened? Cause then what they do, they cut it.

They take, they take out, I have to take out everything cause your pancreas is in the middle. This is why everyone dies of pancreatic cancer. Cause it's the worst one. No shit. So I'm thinking it's 30% chance it works. No, 30% chance you're living. Oh, I think it was like, it was a good chance.

It's going to work. It was like a two thirds. If you don't die, you're probably okay. And I was like, Holy. So, and there's nothing like that pressure, you know, when they, when they're like putting all the, uh, the medicine and you're like, count back. It's from 10 and you're like 10, one in three. That is not nine.

I mean, I don't think one in three is eight. So I don't think we should, you know, but luckily it all worked. And it was literally like, suddenly I got my life back. How long was the recovery for you? It was like three months. That's not bad. Not bad.

Were you, like when you opened your eyes, were you like, holy shit, I made it. Yeah. You had to be, right? You were. But I was, you know, a bit like in a bed, can't move. Is it ever trip you out though, that if you hadn't woke up, that was just the end,

it's just black for you right there? You're just gone, you don't know anything at the end. Well, I don't really understand consciousness. So I'm always a little bit concerned by this. I was brought up to believe that we live forever in heaven or hell. And I was like, neither sound like a good option. Like, you know, I think I'd like an end and one end in sight, please.

So, yeah, everything about like, you know, close my eyes, like, are you saying goodbye to your family or anything in case or your parents there? Or like, I'd be this my kid. Everyone was that I definitely well, yeah, everyone's freaking out. But, and also what a decision to have to make. You must be in so much pain. Oh, you finally are like, yeah, 30%. I'll take it.

But you know what? There were bright spots. I got a catheter. That's a bright spot. That gives me shivers. They can't know I refuse. Oh my God. I fought the ladies at the hospital try treat yourself

yourself Listen go in there now. Look you don't want to be awake when they put it in Yeah, that will they wanted me to be that was my argument like I'm just gonna tell you that right now You know what but they can they can change that you don't have to be awake. Yeah, they put it in right? Here's the thing. It takes away your pee before you even think about it. What do you mean? So you know how like you need to pee, but you don't need to do that anymore. Full stop.

You never need to be. You don't get the sensation of empty and bladder. No, no, you don't even get the concept of a bladder. You don't even know you're peeing. No, no. And they'll be like, look at this whole jug, you filled it up. And you're like, that came out of my body. Exactly.

You know, they go, oh, I need to pee now. I've got this tube so I don't have to get up. It's just gone. The clarity I had in my mind for that week and a half. From a tube up your dick hole. Oh my God. I tell you, like needing to pee takes up a lot of space in my head. Because especially now I don't get around to it.

I'm like, oh God. I don't get around to it. I'm like, I'll get around to it. I still need to pee. I haven't just been doing all this stuff. Oh, it's the worst. And the, Cath of the Clarity is like no other Clarity in the world. I've never in my life heard this. I watched my daughter's mom when she had our daughter

at the end, after it, they wanted to put one in her and awake and she fought like she did fight and they held her down and put that damn thing in. And then she was fine after they got it in, but man, I don't want that going in me while I'm awake. There's a lot of things I've done that- Did it hurt when they pulled it out?

Oh yeah, it was the worst. I'd rather they cut it off to be honest. You're leaving that part out. Because they pull it out. Look how long that is. And then it's, you know, you know, there's modeling balloons. It's like, boom, it's like one of them. It is the worst coming out.

But, but, you know, sometimes you have an experience, you go, yeah, look, it didn't turn out great, but it was enjoyable while I was doing it. You know, and that was one of those. And how's your health now? Great. It worked. It worked. And it's continued to work.

Yeah. And how old are you now? If you don't mind me asking. I'm 44 now. So this is 20 some years it's lasted for you and you're okay. Yeah. All right. I mean, I gave up drinking. I had to, I, which I did for many reasons.

Yeah. I gave up drinking. I had to, I, which I did for many reasons. Yeah. But so I was, so, uh, so if I wanted to keep drinking, I couldn't have kept drinking, but I decided that would just absolutely kill. That would just like aggravate it, you know, and there would also be a bit of a like, fuck you to whoever did it. Hey, you remember that operation you did where you saved my life?

Well, guess what? I'm pissing all over that every day. Yeah. Drank it fucking right. Uh, undone. Pissing all of that every day. Yeah, drank it fucking right undone. Yeah, exactly. You know what time it is? It is time for a fresh approach to dog food. And that is where the farmer's dog comes in.

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Now, let's get back to the, so it's not an issue for you to travel or anything like that. No, no, no't be, try and get a beast. I see. You know that, I mean for many reasons, but that would also, as long as I'm just like reasonably healthy, then everything's fine. All right. Yeah.

I wanna talk to you about your dog. Yeah. So your original dog's name was Mr. Piffles, is that correct? Mr. Piffles. Okay. Yeah. When did you first introduce a dog into your act?

Cause I just want to ask like it seems like look as a stand up coming up with my own material It seems like a lot to have to come up with your own material Perfect jokes and then add a fucking animal to them. Well, there's nothing more That I love than outraged comedians who would just look at me and be like, this is a gimmick on a gimmick on a gimmick on a gimmick. This is some bullshit. I'm out here with my jokes and you're there cheating. I'm not looking at it like cheating. I'm looking at it like this guy's fucking introducing so many elements into this thing.

Because this is the thing with magic is that magic is cheating unless you take it really seriously and you work really hard at it and you put, you know, everything that you, all of your resources into that one thing. And then it can be, you know, great. But that's why there aren't many good magicians out there. So what happened was, so I got better and I went, okay, I'm done. I'm not going to do any computer. I'm not going to live my life, you know, on plan B.

Okay. So this also made you go for it. So I went for it and guess what? I got fired every single place I worked. Did you really? Yeah. Why? Cause I was too grumpy.

I just have this like, I just have a natural resting bitch face. And these people were like, I got, I did a wedding, the close to magic at wedding and this guy came up to me and they're like, what is your problem? You're like theO of magic. And then he fired me because he was the groom. I used to say terrible things. Like I went up to the table in a little Italian restaurant, like 50, 50 covers and there's a couple of there.

And I go up to the guy and I told him I say hey I'm the magician here would you like to see some magic and the guy scrapes his chair across this like tile floor stands up and he says my wife has just asked me for a divorce do you really think I want to see some fucking magic and I said I guess not because she just made half your house disappear. And I was immediately fired immediately. And so I was just running out. I agree.

Yeah. I'm like, come on, that's pretty good guys. Anybody, but here's the, you know, when you split a room as a comedian, right. And, but even when you split a room, you're still getting good laughs. Well, when you're doing close up magic to tables of six people, if you split a table, that's just three people not laughing and that is very, you know, so I was trying, I was like doing all these jokes and I'd split tables and it was just, if, especially if you split a couple, that's the worst thing you can do. and I'd split tables and it was just, especially if you split a couple, that's the worst thing you can do. So I was like, I'm done. I've got to get out of this job. I don't know what I'm going to

do. I've got to get out. And then somebody invited me to a costume party and I want to go and I don't have a costume. And I say to my sister, do you have a costume I can wear? And she's like, yeah, I've got a dragon outfit under my bed. And I was like, I don't think I want to know any more about why I send you a bed. But I took it and I wore it. I walked across London in dragon outfit, which is like, it's like, you know, LA it's, it takes like an hour to get from side to side. So, except we have to, we have to use the public, you know, buses and trains and shit.

Um, so I walk right, I get to the party, I go in, no one else is in costume. Just me in a dragon. In a dragon. So now like appropriately grumpy for once. Why did you think it was a costume party? They told me it was. And then when I arrived, they were like, yeah, we, we said not to worry about it. You didn't get that email. I was like, clearly, clearly not. So I'm there and my friend comes up

to me because I look really pissed off. She's like, you should do this in your act. You could be puffed a magic dragon. And I was like, I could be piffed a magic Dragon. You might've heard of my older brother, Steve. And I was like, that's not bad. That is not bad. And I did it. It took me another six months to do it, but I did it. And literally as soon as I walked on stage and I couldn't stop people laughing because it was just so dumb.

And I was so, you know, I was just like, I had this grumpy resting bitch face in this outfit. I couldn't stop the laughing. I was so, you know, I was just like, I had this grumpy, resting bitch face in this outfit. I couldn't stop the laugh. You know, I was like, oh, this is it. But it was good for five minutes. And I thought maybe that's all it will be, five minutes. But then I wanted to go and do the Edinburgh Festival.

So you need like an hour for that. So I wrote an hour and I went and did it. And it was fine for like 20 minutes by that time I could do 20 minutes, you know, but after that it needed something. It needed like a change of pace. 20 minutes. It is, um, uh, three or four tricks. And I was like, this act needs something.

And the girl who was running the venue, she had a dog, she had a little chihuahua. And so I was doing this, I was doing a trip with an arm chopper. So that was like my B material. But at one point I had the audience member in the arm chopper. And I was like, listen, if you don't want to do this, we do have an alternative. And we brought out the dog. And then we put the dog in the arm chopper and everyone lost their shit. And I was like, this is pretty funny. So I just got divorced. And I was like, I don't want to date for like a year. I'm done. I just want to be on my own for a year. And I was talking to this girl, she was going on about how great this great

having a dog was for company. And I was like, I think I'm going to get a dog. She's like, really? Just in general, she's saying great companionship. Amazing. Yeah. Cause I grew up with cats, but you know, and Chihuahuas especially are like, they're like cats with love, you know, they're like unconditional cats.

So, um, I was like, yeah, I want to get one. She found this dog on Gumtree, which is like Craigslist in Scotland. So we go and see this dog and it's just like awful. It's like this like ball of suffering and it's like, it's teeth are like rotted coats, matted, it's just someone's dog. Someone's dog. Every time this kid walks into the room, he like starts cowering, it's obviously beaten up by the kid.

And I was like, this is not a show business animal. And my, I rang up my friend. She said, look, just get the dog out of that space. Just like, you know, just get it, get him out. Like you'll be able to, uh, you know, um, take him to the vets and get him well. And then if you don't want him, just rehome him, but just get him out of wherever he is. So I did.

And then for, and he went into the show and on stage, people loved him. Wait, real quick, even though you got the dog, how quickly do you decide to put him on stage? Oh, no, no. He just ran out of his bag. I tried it. I tried it one day. The next morning I got the dog.

The next afternoon the dog was in the shop. But did he like run out on stage while you were out there? No, no. It happened that you brought him out. He only came out, you know, and it was the same joke. This is the alternative. He goes back in, doesn't do anything, you know, just like boring and out, but so we could handle it.

Um, but the audience loved him. And then when I got back to London, I take him for an hour walk every day. I took him to the vets, got his teeth done. First thing you do in show business. And even the dog, what do they do for dogs? Teeth' teeth? Mostly they pull them out. That seems to be their salute. They don't put a little.

There's no veneers. There's no grill for dogs. No, exactly. Yeah. Okay. So I started walking him and he just, over three months, he turned into this incredible show business animal. His hair suddenly got in the right food. His coat was amazing. into this incredible show business animal. Like his hair like suddenly like, you know,

washed it, like got in the right food. His coat was amazing. He was a Pomeranian? He's a Chihuahua. Oh, he's a Chihuahua. White, long hair Chihuahua. Long hair, okay. And people were like, oh my God, that dog is incredible. And what it did was the act was a little bit too, um, it wasn't deadpan. I was trying to be deadpan, but it was a little too like, um, uh, uh, grumpy kind of like, uh, what was that? Misanthropic when you hate life, it was a bit too much like that. And then the dog just gave me that light. So now I had like, you know, the two things. And so, yeah, I, I, over the years he became a big part of the show. And, um, in the end, we did 50, just over 15 years, 15 years together,

we did 5,000 appearances, we did 3000 hour long shows together. Um, and you know, just inc, just an incredible gift that I couldn't have, you know, couldn't have ever, that's why like one, one, one, my friend said this to me years later when I was, oh, that's what I was doing. She said, just say yes to things, you know, just say yes to see what happens. And like, that was the time, you know, when I was like, I was doing the Edinburgh show, it wasn't really working.

Like my love life was awful. And I just said yes to that. And like, you know, it really, you know, things turned around. So he was incredible. And, um, he passed away November last year, but before he did, when he was about eight, so he passed away when he before he did, when he was about eight, so he passed away when he was almost 17. Oh wow.

When he was eight, I was like, that's all for a dog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was like, anytime, anything, if he would sneeze, we'd take him to the vet. Yeah. Yeah. You know, shoot him up full of vitamin C or whatever dogs like.

Um, so, so, uh, what was I saying? You said 17, maybe around eight. I was like, I need to get a backup. So we found this dog looks exactly the same. Phantom on eBay this time. And we meet this woman. Get a dog on eBay. Yeah.

Pedigree Chihuahua on eBay. I met the woman outside of Wendy's in Victoria, which is like ran around here. Isn't it? And like, you know, she had like a bandage all over her arm, probably from where the, the puppy meal dogs were scratching her or whatever it was. So we got him again. He was, he's a fun dog, but he hated stage just like trembling wasn't for him. So then we get, then few years later, we get another dog, but he hated stage just like trembling wasn't for him. So then we get then few years later, we get another dog, another pedigree

chihuahua this time from a breeder. This dog keeps growing. Now this dog is 16 pounds. A chihuahua. My original was five pounds. 16? I can't hold him up. Is it a chihuahua or is it a mixed?

Yeah, we got DNA tested. Wow. 100% chihuahua. is it mixed? Yeah, we got him DNA tested. Wow. 100% chihuahua. 16 pounds. Yeah, because I wanted the money back. I was like, get him DNA tested. I was a chihuahua, we can't, okay. So he just became like in charge of morale because he's a super nice dog.

So then I started reading in Korea, I think South Korea, um, they were having problems finding bomb sniffing dogs. Apparently the most difficult dog to train is a bomb sniffing dog, like a five or 10% success rate. So they found the successful dogs. They cloned them and the new dogs had an 80 to 85% chance of success when you train them. And I was like, the only responsible thing to do right now is to clone Mr.

Pivous, but not for me, for the good of the audience. Sure. They want him there every show. I, this is, you've mentioned it a little bit before we recorded. I am blown there every show. I, this is, you've mentioned it a little bit before we recorded. I am blown away by this. I had no idea you could clone a dog and that what year was this? You did it in? Oh, it wasn't long ago.

Um, he's the, the cloned dog. Um, who's called fortune cause it's our fourth dog and he cost a fortune. He, he's, he's two and a quarter. So probably 22, yeah. Mid 22, mid 22. Yeah. It took a while to take. I have just a million questions.

So I was saying to you, like, even though he's a clone, fully healthy, no weird side effects, genetic issues, no mutation, no nothing weird. I'm not. No, none. Were you blown away by this? I still can't believe it. Because here's the thing, I spent 15 years on stage with Mr.... Imagine you do a double act, right?

Who's a comedian you like? Any comedian. Oh, God. Dave Chappelle. Imagine you and Dave Chappelle, you worked together for 15 years. You do 5,000 shows and then he's like, Oh, I don't feel good. Dice, you're upset. But you're like, well, hang on a second. Two years ago, I cloned Dave Chappelle.

Now I haven't really paid that much attention to the clone of Dave Chappelle because, uh, I've been, I've had the real thing, but now I need to see where the clone Dave Chappelle is just as good. And clone Dave Chappelle is exactly the same as the original Dave Chappelle you met, you know, on show one, exactly the same, like looks the same acts the same. That's the thing. He's not the same as like the 15 year old or the 17 year old. He's the same as the dog that I rescued

before I started training him. So now we start, so that was crazy enough. So now I started training him and now he starts doing exactly the things. Hold on man. The new one. This is blowing my mind. You're saying the same mannerisms, characteristics as Mr. Piffles before you took him.

And then as you train him. No, I'm saying before I had Mr. Piffle, when I've got him, you know, I didn't really know what it was like because he was like, um, he was a rescue dog. So, you know, I have this puppy and the puppy is growing up. I don't, I didn't, I didn't get Piffle's until he was almost two. So I didn't know what this is, what people's looks like. He starts hitting this two year period. And I'm like, I don't really looks really looks similar.

Looks and I'm going back, taking out old photos and you cannot tell them apart. You really can't even you the owner from the, from the photos. And then just recently we, we, we have this idea for a bit. We want to put in the show. And with Pivvors, I trained him to sit, lie down, took him for walks. But it was really funny because he did nothing. And now we've got an idea for a bit where he does something. So we're training this new dog. But I did train Pivvors a little bit at the beginning. And the way Pivvors responded all these years ago is the exact same way this dog responds to

treats, the way he sits, the way he lies down, the way he likes bananas. It's crazy. Crazy. And are they genetically actually healthier then? Is this a dog that will live at least 15 years or is that... I don't know. I'm just so blown away by all this that there's not... Can I ask you if you don't have to say, but what's something like that cost for real? I don't know. I'm just so blown away by all this that there's not, and can I ask you if you don't, you don't have to say, but what's something like that cost for real? I'd tell you, it costs, including delivery. They deliver it to the opera.

What do you mean? Here's how they deliver it as well. Cause they were like, you come and pick it up and it was in Rochester. And we can't cause we have the show all the time. So I sit on- Here, Rochester, New York? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. So I said, what's delivery? And they said, we just get on a plane with the dog in a, you know, in a carrier. I was like, oh yeah, do that. Just do that. And all was funny, actually, because we didn't want to give away. I didn't want to say, Oh, I'm a perfect dragon. I'm looking to clone my magic for two hours. So we were like very cagey with the company who did it. And, um, we arranged to meet them at an airport, Vegas airport, uh, by the Starbucks. And we're there. We spend like three months, you know, like different email addresses, different,

different names, everything like that email addresses, different, different names, everything like that. And we're waiting for this woman to arrive at the dog. And I'm like, Oh, fuck. I look over and there's a huge billboard of me and Mr. Pippos. Not, ah, dude. Like, fuck! Directly opposite the Starbucks that I'd totally forgotten about.

I was like, ah! No! So our club, our cover was blown immediately. Including delivery, $60,000. $60,000! I know that's an expense that goes into the show and everything. You divide that by $5,000 and you have a very, imagine you're paying Dave Chappelle $32 a show. Yeah. That's what you get.

Wow. And who's the person or how did you even find out about this, that it was doable? I think I read the article, you know, I just like, like, it's either work or read newspapers on the internet. So I do that instead. And then when I found that I started Googling it and finding out all this information. But yeah, like- Can I ask you, what do they need to do? What do they take from your-

Oh, I didn't know- What do they take from original Mr. Piffles? I'm not very good at listening to instructions. So when they said, you know, this is the samples we need, I was like, great, I'll just tell the vet. And we've got this amazing vet to do it, but it's actually pretty invasive. And, and, you know, they have to like, can't, they have to like, can't like go in and quite deep to get the samples. And afterwards I was, oh shit, I've, I'd known that I'm, I would have probably

like, um, you know, cause you can do it when your animals pass away as well. Oh, you can. You can. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Um, so, so then they don't have to go through that. Like pretty quickly though? Yeah, you have to like within a couple of days and obviously like it depends how your animal passes away.

But I mean, I'm sure it's fine because you know, the pivots, you know, they give an anesthetic and when they remove the samples, but yeah, they take these samples out and then they multiply them and then that DNA is just there whenever you're ready to clone. But here's the thing. Wait, I'm sorry, real quick. Does that DNA still exist? Could you have another clone? Well, here's the thing. It works so well. When he was in the show and he was just killing it and I was like, this is, this is unbelievable. You still call him Mr. Pivils? What do you call him at the house? What's his name? Fortune. Fortune. Oh, that's right. Cause he calls the fortune each 4th one. Pivils has died now. So we show a three minute video, which What do you call him at the house? What's his name? Fortune. Fortune.

Oh, that's right. Cause he calls the fortune each of 428. Yeah, in the show, cause Pippels has died now. So we show a three minute video, which is like, I'll send it to you. It was like, it was like a love letter to Pippels and everything he did for me. Cause he changed my life. Yeah. Absolutely changed my life.

So we show that. You ever thank the girl that said, hey, you should thank that. Oh yeah. Yeah. But we show that and then afterwards we have a slide that says the role of Mr. Pibbles will be played by Mr. Pibbles too. And then we just referred to him as Mr.

Pibbles. Okay. So, um, but you said it works so well, like that DNA still exists somewhere. You could again clone Mr. Pibbles. Well, we sell them on the website. What you can buy a chihuahua,. You can buy a Mr. Pippels. No.

Yeah. Why are you talking about? Go to piffswag.com. And honestly, I think it's a good investment, Ryan. And I think you should do it while we're on there. What is it again? Say it. Piffswag.com.

P-I-F-F-swag.com. Off that finger tape. There we go. Piffswag.com. My fat finger tight. There we go. Piff swag.com. Yeah. Embrace your inner dragon. Okay. Yeah.

I'm looking at all swag. There's a plush. Yeah. Mr. Piff. Do I keep going down here? Where do I go here? I'm down at the book, the pizza.

Yeah. Poster cloned Mr. Piffles for $120,000. No way. Yep. Look, I've got a cuff in my cuffs. You know what I mean, right? Wait, dude.

Splitch. That's funny. Split your purchase into installments. That's introducing Mr. Piffles, the world's only magic performing Chihuahua clone. Now you can have the magic. So let me ask you this. If I get me a Mr. Piffle's clone,

yeah, here on your site at piffswag.com. Yeah. Um, is it going to act and behave like Mr. Piffle? It's very inclined to that's what it is. Have you, have you done it again? Yeah, we did it again. It works so well. We did it again. No, you did. Cause I didn't want to get into a situation where I just had one dog again. So wait, have you had them interact with each other? Yeah. Is that weird? Like, it's them. No, no, because it's, it's, what they are is they're genetic twins. So you know, like, identical twins. This is what I want to ask you, you become, so you're not a, uh, an offspring or a child of, you're a twin. The soul doesn't split. I'm a twin, so I get it. Yeah, so exactly. That's exactly it. Genetic twin.

So we did it again because it works so well, but this time, because they, I don't really know how this works and honestly, I'm not sure I need to know how this works, but they put more, they fertilize more eggs than one, you know, to ensure you get one. And this time we've got twins. That's just like people here who plant the eggs in their bodies and then they are triplets or octobom. That eight of them. Yeah.

Yeah. So we got twins this time. So now you have three Mr. Pibbles. The great thing is you only pay for the whole litter. So now they're only $30,000 each. So they're really getting affordable at this stage. You know. They're not jacking you up like, Hey, we got the other day.

I went to, I went to Singapore, right? That's where my dad's born. I went on vacation and I went with Singapore airlines, the second longest flight in the world in duration. How long? It's 18 hours. Brutal. in duration. How long?

It's 18 hours. Brutal. So, um, we, you know, cause we do gigs everywhere. We have all this status with Delta. So we get like all these things. I'll get first for like, do we pay for it? Just on points. It's amazing. But on Singapore, it has zero status.

So I'm not okay. I'll just buy, um, an economy ticket. Okay. It's $6, I just buy an economy ticket. Okay. It's $6,000 for two tickets. I don't know. Oh, that's a lot. An economy? An economy for 18 hours.

That's kind of a lot. And then we're like, you know what? We're doing a show and then we're getting a plane. Then we, you know, we've done it many days off. Let's just see how much business is. $26,000. US. US.

For two tickets? Yeah, that's the upgrade fee. So overall $32,000. I'm like, you could get a clone. You could clone half a dog for the cost of their airline. So when you put it in terms of air travel, it's not that expensive cloning animals. Compared to air travel. Compared to flying to Singapore.

That is wild, man. That's really, I learned some brand new stuff today. I know we got to get you out of here in a little bit. Can we talk quickly about your Vegas show and mention crashing and burning? And I want to hear about that. So I said this pen teller, I do this thing on pen and teller goes bananas. I land a small part in a big Vegas show from that gig, 10 year contract, moved my whole life over here and

you got a 10 year gig off 10 year contract. Wow. Like crazy money too. Crazy. And, um, excuse me, you're only a part of this thing. Only a part, but it's only four days a week. And on the dark days, they say they're going to produce my show. Oh, great. I said it because I love doing hour long shows. Um, or, you know, like in Vegas, it's actually an hour and a half, but, um, so

I'm like, great, this is, this is amazing. This is my dream come true. I go over there day one. I'm in rehearsals. I look around and I'm like, Oh my God, these people have no idea what's going on. This is going to crash him, but it's a disaster. So I immediately applied for a green card. Seven months later, the show.

Bob like implodes. So now I'm on my own in Vegas, having my life out there and I try I want to stay So I try everything I can to get my own show in Vegas, but nobody knows who I am So eventually I end up on America's Got Talent at what age how old are you when you hit America's Got Talent? 35 and how were you for the Penn and Teller show? 31 okay, so it's four years in between a big prominent... Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Go on. And it does great. Blows up again. I get like, you know, I got like a golden buzz or whatever from Neil Patrick Harris, which is really funny because in that Vegas show, the original Vegas show, he came to the opening night. And I heard, I think somebody was lying to me, but I heard he hated my act. So when I go on America's at 10, I see him now and I'm like, Oh no, this is the worst. This is, this is how I,

you know, it's going to, but he gave me the golden buzzer that like made my career that stuff. going to, but he gave me the golden buzzer that like made my career that stuff. And I got my own Vegas show out of it and in a small room and we just worked as hard as we could to build that up and build the road up and, you know, like back and forth, like working like seven days a week for, you know, like I really until the pandemics are like, um, you know, almost five years doing that. And then in the pandemic, everyone goes to social distancing and we were in a small room in the Flamingo and Donnie and Marie Osmond were in the big room, but they left, they were still performing.

They were still performing. What for how fucking old are they? Not they, Donnie still going strong and it's a killer show. Is it? It's a killer show. Is it? It's a, he, this is how crazy he is. He does a 12 minute rap in that show about his career and it's the greatest thing. 12 minutes.

It's that show defies all. Yeah. I mean, they were teenagers. I want to say when I was at least a kid, yeah got to be in their sixties, seventies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's incredible. So they move out of the showroom. So we move into the showroom, social distance. And then it went, it just kept going, you know, better and better. So then we just re-signed a contract.

We re-signed now and I've got Marie's dressing room. Do you really? Yeah. She had a steam shower. So I've got my own steam shower. Oh, yeah. Good for you. But that's just been the it's been so crazy because magic is like we tour, but we can't do every trip we want on tour because these things are so difficult

to move around. So in Vegas, it's like a Super Bowl show. We love it. That's great, man. Thank you for coming on here and doing this for real. Before I let you go, I do want to see you do a magic trick, but advice you would give to 16 year old piff the magic dragon, what would you tell John at 15? I would, I would tell John at 15, Hey, you know this thing about having a backup? Like maybe you want to, maybe you want to have a plan a before your plan B Maybe spend time on planet before you you know, cuz I I spent a lot of years working on plan B and

It was only when I just like, you know jumped out the plane That's great. Yeah that it all took off You have a favorite card? Yes, I do. I mean, I'm probably a lot of I love the eight of spades and the ace of spades. They're my ace of spades is very common. Yeah, that's why I said I like give me a eight of clubs. I'll say that's my favorite card.

Here's the thing, though. OK. I turned one card face down in this deck. OK. And that was your favorite card. Now, I'm going to give you the chance right now to change your mind. Wait, you're saying in that deck right now they're all facing one way except for the eight of clubs, which or? Or maybe I know what your favorite card really is and you haven't quite got there yet. Or maybe it's the eight of clubs.

Okay. What do you think it is? I mean, today I'm going to say, I don't know if I've ever really had a favorite one to be honest. Maybe I knew that. Maybe you did. Eight's my favorite number, but I can't say I have a favorite suit to be honest with you. Well, but the problem is, is that whatever you say is by definition your favorite because

you're choosing it over the others. You know, you're Sophie's choice in that car. I am, yes. Right. But you can still change your mind. The important thing is, is that once you set on it, there's no going back. I'm going to stick with Aida clubs. Really? Yeah.

That's a shame. That's a real shame. Every single one of the playing cards is same as rap. Except for one single playing card, just there. Get the fuck out of my fucking face. Oh my God. Listen, man, I've never fucking met you. I even wavered on what I was gonna say,

and there it fucking is. That's phenomenal, dude. I think you need to question some life choices after this. John Vanderputt, PiftamagicDragon, thank you so much for coming on here. Promote one more time all of it, please. PiftamagicDragon.com Google...

Just Google PiftamagicDragon.com Just Google it. Google Piftamantadragon.com. Just Google it. Google Piftamantadragon.com. You'll figure it out. Thank you, man. Thank you. Thank you very much. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media, RyanSickler.com. We'll talk to you all next week. You