The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - 336: Gary Owen and the Absent Gliding Father

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Gary Owen! Check out Gary’s new special No “S” on MintComedy.com. Gary joins me to Highlight the Lowlights of his stepfather who loved to fight, his biological father who loved to hang glide, and the wild family dynamic that shaped his upbringing. He shares a story about a memorable brawl at the Pipe Fitters Picnic and talks about his love for high school wrestling, despite a 3-27 season record. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON - The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! Get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! AND we just added a second tier. For a total of $8/month, you get everything from the first tier, PLUS The Wayback a day early, ad-free AND censor free AND extra bonus content you won't see anywhere else! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] Get Your HoneyDew Gear Today! https://shop.ryansickler.com/ Ringtones Are Available Now! https://www.apple.com/itunes/ http://ryansickler.com/ https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 SPONSORS: BetterHelp -The HoneyDew is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://www.Betterhelp.com/HONEYDEW  to get 10% off your first month Rocket Money -Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://www.RocketMoney.com/HONEYDEW today.

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Ben MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Baltimore! I'm coming home! We're gonna wrap the Live in a Live Tour up Saturday June 28th at the Horseshoe Casino. It's gonna be a great night. I got Justin Schlagel from 98 Rock gonna be out there with me. We're gonna have some surprises. It's gonna be a really big deal. Get your tickets now at RyanSickler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios.

I'm Ryan Sickler. I want to start this episode like I start them all by saying thank you. Thank you for watching this show, supporting this show. Thank you for supporting anything I do. All right. Come see me if you're in Baltimore. It's the last show on the live and alive tour Saturday, June 28th. I'm at the Horseshoe

Casino. Tickets are flying right now. Let's lock it down and do it right. All right. That's it. You know what we do here. We highlight the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest here. First time on the Honeydew, ladies and gentlemen, Gary Alwyn, welcome to the Honeydew, Gary Alwyn. Thank you. Thanks for getting my name right.

Appreciate that, Ryan. You got it, man. I appreciate you not right there just saying Brian. That was too easy. That was like comedy 101. I'm gonna do that. So before we get into that story and any other stories, plug, promote, all, everything, everything. Books, pods, shows, tours, all of it. Socials.

My latest special is on mintcomedy.com. So we went a different route with this one. I think people are so conditioned to getting everything free, you know, which I understand. But I was like, it is nice to have something exclusive. So I was like, this streaming company, Mint Comedy, they say, yo, you want to put it on our platform? Basically, they rent it for three months. And then I get it back and I figure out what I want to do with it. So it's on there. It's good. 13 bucks. You got it for the rest of your life. Okay, so it's exclusive for 90 days and then it goes to wherever you want. Yeah, wherever you YouTube or Hulu or

whatever. Okay. Yeah. All right. So it's all nothing you've seen before. So it's I think it's the greatest special of all time. So what you're supposed to, you know what I mean? You're supposed to, if you guys ever wonder what it was like to see LeBron practice, your shirt was like that. It's just out there sprinting up. Yeah. Yeah. Want to go to, you want to get run over by rain? I always laugh. I always laugh at like people say it when a quarterback's like, yeah,

I think I'm the best quarterback in the league. Like if my guy doesn't think that what the fuck I want him. He's like, I'm all right. I'm like, what? What do you talk about? A kicker doesn't get the best massages. What are we talking about? You mean our old kicker? You mean our old kicker?

He's going to get a job. Our old kicker. That's somebody going to get a job. He's definitely getting a job. He's definitely getting a job. It's funny how when it comes to football, people are on these moral high grounds. And then there's going to be somebody that loses a game or two cause they're a kicker. And they'll be like, Justin Tucker sitting there,

bring them to him. Kind of makes sense why he missed some of them kicks last year. He knew this was coming. It was all mental. Yeah. This was not just happening. Nope. Nope. He knew. It's similar to, so funny you're a sports fan, so am I, but when Bingo's drafted Joe Mixon from Oklahoma, and he wanted that video out of him punching that girl on Denny's his freshman year, even though it was three years old. He was 18 years old when it happened. There was so much more of that story coming to find out. She was wild and spitting on him and stuff. And then I remember when the bingo's drafting, there was people and said, that's it.

I'm gone. Not watching Tina Margo. That's on Biscord, two touchdowns. I'm like, this, go. We're going to Denny's. We're protesting. Panera bread from now on. McAllister's.

What are you doing? We're protesting. Panera bread from now on. McAllister's. What are you doing? That's so true, dude. Uh, real quick, getting your name right. So I saw you outside and I was like, listen, I have, I've been waiting for this a lot, you know, it's funny that one of the things it's I'm 52, one of the things in life, it's taken me a while and I still don't trust it all

the way, but I should is nine times out of 10, shit's going to handle itself. It's going to come full circle sooner or later. Yeah. A lot of times later. And I waited for this moment. It's probably, God, I can't even remember. This is where the old improv before they moved it to the big one, you know, Dan Godfrey's GM back then.

And she's just got me 2000. That's what I'm saying. It's probably I was going to say it wasn't 99, but it's probably about 2000, 2001. You're headlining. I'm open. I'm emcee for the weekend. And I was never I'm not a rah rah guy. You know, you used to have to do that shit when you come up. But I was never a guy. It was like, oh, good. I'm going. I was never I'm not a rah rah guy. You know, you used to have to do that shit when you come up. But I was never a guy. It was like, let's get him going. I was never that guy.

And I went up, I was excited to work with you because I knew you were marine. Navy, Navy, Navy. That's right. And thank you for your service. Appreciate it. And I go up confident as shit and I introduce you as Greg Owen. Now, I know everybody. I was so focused on not saying Owens. You know what I mean? Cause I, isn't that one of your specials too? Yeah, no S.

That's the one that's out right now. Yeah, that's it, no S. Make comedy, yeah. I was so focused on that. Called you Greg and I knew when it came out, I was like, oh, and you got up there and you did, like I said, exactly what you should have. And I walked to the back of the room and I turned around.

I said, I'm just going to fucking stand here and take it. And I'd be for a good two minutes. You rip me. I'll be shit. And I loved every second. And I never fucked anybody's name up after that. He, I'll tell you, there's a blessing in the sky. He right in the fucking shape, bro.

Now, how long had you been doing standup? Oh, man. Two years. Oh yeah. That's a blessing in disguise. Got me right in the fucking shape, bro. Now, how long had you been doing stand-up up to that point? Oh, man. Two years. Oh, yeah. That's nerve-racking, though, because you're so like, god, I want them to laugh. I want them to laugh.

And had you hosted a lot before? Hell no. That's what they started me. So I had gotten into the improvs, and it was like, all right, you're going to host a lot of these shows. So I would get booked by them to come down and do a weekend. And they wouldn't, they wouldn't never care about pairing the, the MC with the headliner.

We did work, our comedy work well together. I just fucked your name. Yeah. And that's a easy name. I only fucked it up on Thursday, bro. Just so you know, I got it right. Gary Owen is so easy. This is how old it was back in the day.

I got it right. The two shows Friday, the three Saturday, remember? They used to do a seven, nine, 11. They don't do that 11 much anymore. And then we did a Sunday too. I got it right. Yeah. The rest of the weekend.

God, you got lucky. Can you imagine at that stage, you're nervous. You got a Chris Delia. I can't imagine doing it with his last name. Chris Delilah. Chris Delito. I can't imagine you did with his last name. Chris, the Lila, Chris, the little dough. Thank God. I only had two syllables. Yeah. I got it wrong, bro. Um, all right. You're a Cincinnati guy born and raised. Is that right? Huge. I see. I fought.

I know you're AFC North. I watch. I watch your shit. I'm all Cincinnati though. Like we get boxer comes out of there. Some of us, we has like some girl in the Olympic volleyball team. I was like, yeah, I'm all about that. I'm like that with Maryland and Baltimore. My buddy of mine is like, you know, we got a guy riding a one of Baffert's horses in the Kentucky. I was only put that he's from Maryland. That motherfucker.

Musha curling on the Olympics. This guy, the way he does his shit. Is your family from there? Like, do you have roots going back in Sensei? Yeah, everybody. So tell me about your family. Tell me about your mom and your dad. Mom and dad had me in high school. They did.

Yeah, my dad confirmed it one day. Why did he share that with me? I was conceived in the back of a car. When I was young, he shared a little too much to like a 10 year old. So the fact that I always knew where I was conceived. Like he told you literally, This is what he said.

Tell me what he said. Hey listen, man, I just wanna say, your mom wasn't a hoe, okay? I think it might've been the first, but yeah, Colerain High School parking lot. What? He's saying it like it's a badge of courage to you. Yeah, you know, it was a wild night. I did the math. My birthday's in July, August, September, October. Homecoming

baby, right here. Your homecoming baby's in the parking lot. They had a good night. They went right outside. They couldn't even wait. Yeah. My dad, which we don't really talk anymore, but when we did, he was really funny. Cause I remember one time he told me, he goes, Gary, man, oh.

When I was in high school, we'd say dumb shit. He goes, I don't know why these girls like me, man. I ain't got no money, I ain't got no, I just got a big ass dick. I was like, damn, 12. But I can't wait to hit puberty. I got a big ass dick. I was like damn 12. But I can't wait to hit puberty. Hopefully that doesn't skip a generation. I hope it's genetic.

It was not like balding. Are you skipping a generation? I hope them dicks just keep slanging. I got a big ass dick. Wait, so how old are they when they have you? High school, but are they- 17, 18. That's young, yeah, super young, 17, 18, man.

So they're parents in high school. Are you their only child? Yeah, I got seven brothers and sisters. They're all half. Okay, but how many from mom and how many from dad? My dad had two girls, he had twin girls after, like, God, I was 18, 19 when they were born. So I was raised with that.

Oh, holy shit, okay. And then my mom had three, and then we also had a, I had a stepsister from my stepdad that was with us. So that's where the seven came from. So four, is my math right? There was five in the trailer park. There's seven total. So six, sorry.

All right. So your parents, they were never married or anything then? Or did they? I think they got married because that's what you did back then, you said. And then my dad joined the Navy, got stationed in San Diego. So I was born in Cincinnati, I think my first seven, eight months I was in Cincinnati. Then I was in San Diego for two years. I don't remember it, one to like three. And then found out later my dad got kicked out of the Navy and he told him, fly me back to Ohio, not San Diego. So me and my mom, I guess that was his way of saying, we're getting a divorce.

Wait, hold up. He just took himself. He just took himself to Ohio. We drove. You don't have memories till you're three or four, right? The literally the first thing I remember in my life is we had a Volkswagen bug and there was a balloon in it. And I remember riding with my mom in this bug and looking at this balloon and

that one song kept coming on the radio. Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future. I remember that song. Yeah. And I remember we stopped at like, uh, had to be Arizona, but it was like some Grand Canyon looking things. I remember there was like a totem pole and some Native American stuff. And I was just like, that's my first memory.

And it was just me and my mom just driving back to Ohio. Back. I didn't realize that we were leaving San Diego because my dad was like, you got kicked out of the Navy. Yeah, I'm going to Ohio. Do you know why he got kicked out? You ever find out? I found out later. What did he say? Some black guys were saying they're about to, they're going to kill him. Oh really? Beat his ass. That was a different time. That was for cell phones and stuff. So the ship was like,

we got to get them off the ship. Something might happen. So I don't know what happened back then. Oh wait, black dudes that were in the Navy. Oh, not just some guys out in the. No, no, no. Cause he was, he was over in the Philippines. So there's not a doubt in my mind. I, I got brothers and sisters over there. There's gotta be like some guy killing karaoke, cracking people up.

Greg Owens over there bro. You might be a Greg Peck, yo. Hey, we got Greg Peck on the mic right now. Bring it down, Bring it down. Bike keeps on pippin, pippin, pippin. Pinto the pewper. OK. All right. So that's dad.

Mom takes you back to Ohio. And that's what there is at the trail. Is that where the trailer park starts? We moved to the trailer park when I was 10. So you're going back with dad for a minute when you all get back to Ohio. No, I don't ever remember living with them. So he'd show up every now and then, not every weekend, but he'd pop up every now and then.

And then it was just me and my mom. And then she started dating this who ended up being my stepdad, who's still the guy she's married to this day. Started dating him around three or four years old. And then, and this time still she's like 21 still, she's a baby. Well, he went to jail. He went to jail and rehab. What'd he go to jail for? I don't know. I have no idea. And then he went to jail and he was gone.

And then he came back and then he went back to jail. Well, I remember, shoot, they got married. She was pregnant with my sister Ashley. She had Dallas. So this is probably 82, 83, because I remember we went to visit him in jail and then and then he got out. So I can't remember the first time. First time with Jack. I can't remember why. I remember they broke up. It was a crazy story. They broke up and she started this starting this new guy, Billy. Billy was cool. He was redneck, though. But Billy was cool. He was redneck though, but my stepdad broke into the apartment and beat the shit out of Billy one night.

He was laying in bed with my mom. Are you there? I'm on the couch. I slept on the couch. So you see him come by. No, I don't know. I'm asleep. Oh, okay.

I just remember my mom woke me up in her nightie and she goes, we gotta go. We gotta go. And I heard a, and I'm like, so she takes me to her friend's apartment. And I thought it was great because I had to go to school for the week. I'm like in first grade, something like that. Kindergarten first. And I remember we went back to the apartment a couple of days later and I remember there was a mop bucket and it was red. There was definitely blood soaked water in the mop bucket. And then the, the fridge had a dip and there was a hole in the wall.

And we never saw Billy again. I would be gone. You're asleep with a woman and some dude starts pummeling you. Yeah. I'm like, my mom, I think about that all the time. It doesn't matter if you're the rock. It doesn't matter if you're John Bones Jones. If you're asleep, motherfucker puts one in your neck. It's over. It doesn't matter how bad ass you are. But I also wonder, my mom's pussy must've been amazing. It must've been, bro. That's some fire puss. That's a bullet hole.

I don't know. Suck starting Harley's, I guess. I don't know what's going on there. But she, your dad told you she wanted to home, but she has a fire. Yeah. Baby maker. She's yeah. Yeah. So then, uh, yeah, we didn't see there's three of you now at this point.

Well, when the, when I, when she got beat up, when she know when he got beat up, when Billy got beat up, there was nobody, nobody there. And then he just went away. And I didn't see him for a year or so. And this is how I remember my step that came back in my life. We had moved now living in a different apartment. And my mom goes, because he had a daughter, I really liked my sister, Michelle is now my my sister Michelle, but his daughter, she was, Hey, I got some old friends coming over today. And I was like, who? He was like, she was like, Rod and Michelle. And I was like, I was saying, fuck, Rod's gonna act. So then I remember, I never saw Michelle. I didn't see Rod that day. But the next morning I'm downstairs eating cereal, watching like the great space coaster.

So I watched the great space coaster and Rod came walking down in a robe and I went, oh, he stayed all night. Now you look back, he really fucked my mom that night. But I was like, and he never let her. He was in a robe too, the audacity. In a robe, the audacity. Yeah, fixing it. Fixing it, you motherfucker. Seeing like residue here. Like, God.

Post gone. Never left, bro. Rod's his name too. Rod. I still don't like Rodney's. I wouldn't do this if his name was Rod Stickler. Or Sickler. I would've been like, I did it on purpose.

How did? Hey, you wanna do Rodney sickler's podcast? I'm good. Yeah. Barley that PTSD. Yeah. You never left ever that. That was it.

And there's today still married today. Oh, still together. Okay. He still ain't had a job. Now why, um, also, and I'm not no shade or anything here, trailer parks and all this stuff, was there addiction in the family family or is this just, were they just young and had a baby and they're low income and trying to work their way up? Because I don't think they're still in their twenties at this point.

My mom, I don't think ever did anything. Rod and my dad, I think they did everything known to man. Yeah. There's the time to late seventies, eighties, you know, they were, they, they went hard. My dad's the one that has told me now, like he definitely went hard. I found out later Rod definitely was doing drugs in those days. Yeah. Dealing and shit.

Is that why he's in and out of jail and stuff? I don't know. He was quick to fight though. I'm sure it was bar fights. And that's the problem. When you got an asshole stepdad that is abusive, you tell your kids at school and they'll tell you shit. I go, no, no, no, he can fight.

That's what made it worse. I was like, no, no, I can't talk back. Yeah, right. In the movie, you stand up to your stepdad and you fuck him up with it. Yeah, he's gonna Marvin Gaye your ass. He will Marvin Gaye your ass. I've seen him knock numerous dudes out fuck him up on it. Yeah, he's gonna Marvin get your ass. He will Marvin get your ass. I've seen him knock numerous dudes out.

You've seen it. Tell me, tell me. No problem. What do you mean? Why? What are you seeing? Like he fighting over parking spots and shit? I'd say it's crazy. The one hitter quitter I saw. I was like, whoa. Is he just like zero to a thousand? Like immediately.

Over nothing. Right. So my, my grandfather was a pipe fitter and they used to just thing every summer in Cincinnati called the pipe fitters picnic. And they ran out this amusement park and everything was free. It was, it was better than Christmas to be 11

and 12 years old going there. Cause there was a lot of different girls there as the dude. It was rides. Keep going to music park and everything's there. The food, the soda. I used to kill the chocolate milk. Not smart in July. No.

It was so good. It's a summer Christmas. The sodas are just lined up and I'm just like, it was the best. One year they decided to have an arm wrestling contest here. Right. So all these guys are arm wrestling and there was a, there was a group of black people that were winning. Right.

They're, they kept winning the early rounds, but then as you kept going, then these white boys started to win a little bit. Right. And real quick, not to interrupt. Sorry, people are gonna yell at me. Rod, give me a physical description. Is he a big dude? Is he like a little Tasmanian devil?

No, he's probably about, he's average, about five, nine, five, 10. He just got fired. Probably about 170, 180. Okay, all right, average, yeah. Kind of look, is he strong though? Strong, yeah, yeah. He had some arms on him.

Kind of looks like, who would be a good example of what Rod Bruce Willis. No, um, uh, Jeff Bridges with a beer. Oh yeah. Yeah. All right. That type of, of look. Okay. So to speak, um, Jeff Bridges, right? That was the dude in the big, yeah, big Lebowski, but now he's in the old man. Yeah, that guy. When I see him on screen, I'm like, if they ever did this life story,

I must have that, he could play. But anyways, this thing called the pipe fitters picnic. And the black guys went on the early rounds, right? And then they started to lose a little bit. And I don't know what happened, but this white dude beat the black in the arm wrestling contest. And the referee was like, we're going to do it over. And like a couple of white people was like, that's bullshit. You

want to did that? That was a white person that lost. And it got real tense, real quick. Long story short, that just pipe fitter quick. Long story short, just pipe fitter and then there's this whole big fight starts, but it's white people versus black people, but it's only adults. So I'm probably 14. All the kids, women and children winter needs were all the picnic tables were and all the black women, all the white women, all the kids were still like, stop. None of the women fought.

It was all these dudes. And I saw this brother. He had a white tank top and blue biker shorts, right. And a Jerry curl telling the age. He pushed Rod or something from behind and Rod didn't even look. Rod just went, kapank. And I just saw that brother's shoes go. And I went, Ka-Pank! And I just saw that brother's shoes go, boom! And I went, oh shit!

So when everything calmed down, this dude's laid out, and then he's got two women walking him out. They're walking, everything with the dust settled. The pipe finish. Yeah, pipe finish picking, baby. Plumbers be getting him, plumbers be getting him. They're walking him out, and he's got these two and he's looking at his guy. He goes, he goes, I just got knocked out. I never got knocked out.

I just, who knocked me out? It's just like, Oh, I'm not talking back to him. The pipe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So they never did the arm wrestling contest. That was over. Yeah. You know what's cool about that story? I've shared that story in Cincinnati a couple of times just on stage reminiscing. So looking back on it, it sounds like,

and it was a racial thing, right? And I've told that story numerous times and there's been at least three or four black guys that were there. No, come on. That have come to my shows and go, y'all dog, we remember that shit. And now we're laughing about it and stuff, right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll never forget, they'd be coming up like, man, we were there, we was on the highway and we. Yeah. Yeah. I'll never forget. They'd be coming up like, man, we were there. We was on the highway and we lined our cars up. I go, yeah. Really? Cops came in and pepper sprayed everybody. How many people was going at it? You think? Oh, a hundred. That's a lot. I mean, a lot of people fighting is a lot of fucking people. A lot of people. Yeah. It was all over an arm wrestling contest

that they let the black guy get a second chance, basically. And it just took one or two people to be like, you went and did that shit and it was fine. And then it took the, of course the black people, man shut the fuck up. And then the dude, hey don't talk to my girl like that. They just, it went, when I say it was 30 seconds. What's my mom got to do with this?

It was zero to 100. I go, whoa, seconds, it was zero to a hundred. I go, whoa, this is arm wrestling. And like first prize was like a gift card to Kroger. It's not just regular people either. This is all we get. You got to go see them tomorrow. What is going on right now? You got to work together on Monday.

Y'all come on. There was a million dollar grand prize. You free spark plugs from plugs from Best Buy. Shit. So stupid. That's the first time I see him just knocks him out with a one-headed quitter. You ever see him get fucked up?

You ever see someone knock him? Never. You never seen him take an L. Never saw him take an L. And- It's impressive, actually. If you're fighting, if you're fighting, Yeah. Well, that, what I found out later about his life is, um, he was, he got, he had puberty early,

so I guess he was like a grown man at like 14. He's one of those dudes. He would go to downtown Cincinnati and fighting those street fights for money. Have you seen, um, hard times with Charles Bronson? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great fucking movie. Yeah. Where he's, he's street fighting. That's what he's doing since then,

but he was, nobody knew he was like 14, 15 years old. Like old school, um, any which way, but loose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like that. Like they, they find somewhere there'd be money bet and, and just go bare knuckle in the streets. And then, yeah. So, yeah, I'm saying what could possibly go wrong with your life at 15 years old if you're doing that? Like you're definitely going to be solid. Like the older I get, you know what I mean? Like you, and he was, he was just an asshole to me,

very abusive, just the, everything you want to think a nightmare step that he was that. But the older I get, the more empathy I have. Cause I'm like, dude, if he was that way to me, what was going on with him? Yeah. So what I figured out- We're that genera- we're the, I love you dad generation. You know, the us also they're, you know, they come from world war two parents. I was gonna say Vietnam era.

And they're like, I want to, I were like, I want to go dance. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Are you talking about, we found out, talking to various family members on his side, he was an asshole. His family was amazing to me. His brothers, his grandma was my favorite. His mom was my favorite grandmother. My fucking grandma Randall, shut up. She was the best.

His brothers were cool. He was just a dick. Well, he was, here's the thing. He was the oldest. They had him, just like you said, got back, his dad got back from World War II. It was just him and his mom. And then Rod was born. And from what I take, the attention went away from his dad now. And his dad was his ship got sunk in World War II. Oh, it was one of those like,

he saw his boys die. Yeah. So he comes back, you know, back then there wasn't no therapy. There wasn't no dealing with that shit. You just went off on him. And I heard his dad was the type would fight a drop of a dime. They said if they went to high school games, they hated it because if anybody wasn't standing or talking to national anthem, like he would snap. I beat the fuck out of you. You better take that. Because he's looking at it like fucking Jimmy and Johnny died for this shit. For real. Fuck you.

Put that motherfucking jingo stick down. So I kind of have empathy. A little empathy now because I think when somebody's like that, like. Go back to when you're like three years old, what, what happened? Where'd it go wrong at some point? You know, so I'm not as, not as vindictive as it was. What what's the age difference between Rod and your mom?

Was he also young? He was older, but only like a couple of years. Yeah. Three year difference. So we're still talking about all these sounds like the parents in your life are all in their twenties. Yeah, completely. Yeah. Okay. Kids, I mean, that's young for parents. Think about it.

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and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash honeydew today. That's rocketmoney.com slash honeydew today. That's rocketmoney.com slash honeydew rocketmoney.com slash honeydew. Now let's get back to the do. Um, okay. So you're living with mom the whole time. You never see dad pops in when he wants to pop in and you're living in a trailer park in where? Oxford, Ohio, Oxford, Ohio. And what's, what's life like? What's school like? Are you, are you involved in sports? Like, what are you

doing? I played every sport possible just to not be home to the point where my junior year of wrestling, I was three and 30. I won three times and lost 30. I had to hear it again in my head. I was like, damn. No, no, no, no. I was so bad. Three and 30. You'd rather get your ass whooped on the mat. Yeah. No, no, no. There's a referee and a whistle. When you get your ass whooped on the mat, you have complete control. Like I used to tell guys like, just let it happen. I'm going to pin myself. I go, let this happen. Just go with it. And sometimes I'd be looking at guys like,

dude, I'm trying to help you here. Tell your mom, get the camera out. This is a good shot. Yeah. I was the guy whenever they- I'm gonna give you some back points real quick. Every time another team had like a disabled kid or a special needs kid, and you, I'm the one.

You what? Dude, I know how to fucking make people look good. I always I used to make a joke like there's not a high school gymnasium in Cincinnati, Ohio. You show me the ceiling. I'll tell you what school it is. I saw them all baby. Saw them all. Who are the guys you beat? Yeah.

Who are the three? Oh, beat the same guy three times. Nah dude, come on. I swear to God. So really. Name was Nathan Eby, went to Edgewood High School in Trenton, Ohio. You couldn't, he wouldn't take one,

he was that bad. So here's how I beat him. My mom had never come one time to see me wrestle. I've been wrestling three years at this point. She's never been to a match. Nothing. She says, I'm coming to see you tomorrow. I go, what? No, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She says, I'm coming this week to go see you.

So I'm like, what? So she tells me on like Monday and the match is Friday. All week, I'm looking at my coaches, I'm looking at the guys, I go, guys, I know I suck. I got to learn one move and I'm just going to work on the one move. I can't. My brain doesn't work like this. I'm not here on this earth to be a wrestler. Give me one move.

All week, we worked on this move, the head and arm, they call it. Right. And so that's all I did Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday comes. We go the way ends. He's not very intimidating. I go, fuck yeah. Sometimes I get those muscle bound. Oh, yeah. Or dudes with hair on their legs. I'm wrestling a man. We had to do one time took teeth out and another time a dude just snatched his necklace off. He purposely got it was like going like this. He just like this. And it went, oh, no. Yeah, that was a Nathan. I've seen a couple of those like, fuck I took teeth out. Yeah. No, this wasn't high school. When I saw him, I go, this is my work. This is my

father. This is my plan. My come to fruition. So we get out there. I see my mom. She's in the stands and my whole team's in on it. They're looking at her too. I don't think anybody's ever seen my mom. So they're looking, we go to shake hands, this fucking guy, Nathan Eby, he tries to do a head and arm on me and I go, bitch, that's my move. He's been doing the whole. He like immediately went for it, I go, whoa.

So took a minute, I got him in it, pinned him and I got up and I did like the gun shit. And all I know, my mom stood up and she goes, oh, my baby good. I'm saying. That makes me like one in 20 right now. I was good today. And then I, you know, he's that, that school was in our league. So now here's, it's funny.

Now you go to, you know, the, the league championships, we had eight teams and we had eight schools in our league. I somehow I got to buy the first round. So I'm already in the semis. How the hell Nathan Eby be somebody else? I'm wrestling Nathan Eby now in the semis. He's there between you and the finals hit him with the head and arm I'm in the finals baby. Oh, yeah, I'm like For the MML championship mid Miami And then they posted on the little brackets.

It looked like a misprint. Because everyone else got these amazing records. They must have fucked this up. You gotta be 20. I go out there, and I just remember this. Keep in mind, nobody goes to wrestling matches. You get to the league championship, that gym is packed. That's the first time I took pride in my wrestling. Cause all I said was I ain't getting pinned.

I ain't get pinned all these people. I ain't get pinned. Motherfucker. This is trying to do shit. I don't know. My coaches, my coaches are going, oh, you got it. You got it. I go, uh-uh, I'll lose 10 to one before I get pinned. So, but you made it to the finals, dude.

That's a great story. That's great. But I but you made it to the finals, dude. That's a great thing. You didn't get pinned. That's great. But I lost. Yeah, that's all right. I got my medal. I kept that medal for years. I was like this. Holy shit.

And you did all right. Yeah. I mean, fuck yeah. Well, um, then, okay. So when do you get out? When do you leave home? 17 right after high school. You do.

So graduate, graduate in June. I was in the Navy in July. Oh, you went right to the Navy. Yeah. I turned 18 in boot camp. Did you know you were going to do that before you did it? Or were you like, no, it was, here's how I ended up in the military. It was December of my senior high school and one of my best friends of this day's

named Mike Heineman, he was, he had already joined the Navy. I don't know how they got in the trailer Saturday morning, but he goes, he's standing over my bed. And he goes, Gary, wake up, wake up. He goes, come on, man, let me take you to that recruiting station. Cause I guess when you join the Navy once a month on Saturday morning, they have

these things for recruits that are going in because they're big. They're big audiences, seniors in high school. So you got all these seniors that like, I'm going to once I graduate. They used to come to our school. Yeah, they did too. They would be in the lobby. Yeah, lunch and shit. You'd go to the Air Force. Yeah. Yeah. They did that too. So he goes, I went down there and it was a bunch of guys that were in high school that were going in the Navy when they graduated and everybody was in the same building. So it was the Marines. They were all across the hall from each other.

So I met with everybody that day. I went with the Marines, I met with the army, met with the Navy and the Navy guy was most honest with me cause the army guy go back to wrestling. He goes, so you wrestle? I go, yeah, he goes, you know, the army has a wrestling team. He goes, if you join, you can get on the army wrestling team and all you do is wrestle. And I was like, I'm three and 30, bro. I don't want to wrestle anymore.

I just wrestled so I didn't go home. He says, dude, you went to the finals though, man. Yeah, yeah. And then the Marine guy, he- Which you know is bullshit by the way. You could have been 30 and three and you ass ain't just wrestling. Yeah, that part. You're wrestling with the decision you made to fucking believe this motherfucker.

And the Marine guy just made it sound too hard. We're going to get up this morning, we're going to do this. I said, nah. No, he ain't. I don't want to be the first one. I don't want to be first one no more. I'd rather be second. Who's second? I don't be on the front line. Navy guy was just honest. He was like, oh, literally I remember he came in the trailer thinking, dude, I can get you out of this. Like I could definitely give you a better life than this.

And then, so that's why I joined the Navy. It was pretty much, I was the easiest cell. But to this day, if Mike wouldn't have woke me up, I don't know what I was going to do. Cause I didn't know by my family to college. So I didn't know nothing about take the ACT SAT. I know nothing about that. So thank God he woke me up and I went with them. So I joined David 17, 17, and it had nothing to do with the fact that your dad was in there or anything

like that. No, nothing. It was just, I mean, I'm think I'm third or fourth generation because my grand, both my grandpas were in the Navy. My dad was in the Navy. My dad was in the Navy. His father was Air Force though. Oh really? In World War II, Air Force, which he died. I wish I could have

asked him some shit. Like, fuck you all flying in World War II. Yeah. You see those movies, you're like, what? Like I would have never even gotten. I wouldn't. I'd take a picture outside that plane. If you know, fuck no. That Memphis Bell, that one. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck no.

Must be crazy. You know, that plane. All together. Top party. Yeah. Get a little tight. It's tight, too. Yeah. You said your dad would show up at times. When would he do it like for birthdays or just random Sundays, man?

Random Sundays. There was, there was, you know, And what would he take you to do? Would he take you somewhere to do something? He comes to your, what? Hang gliding? What do you mean? You know what a hang gliding is?

Yeah. So we, he picked me up in his Toyota pickup and the hang glider would be on top. Hold on a second. Does it blow you away? You're a father. Yeah. Does it blow you away, you're a father. Does it blow you away that a man ignores his whole family and then he'll show up and he's already hang gliding?

It takes a lot to get the glider and the equipment. You know what I mean? The investments. I never thought of it like that. The time and effort. You know what I mean? We're not just going horse riding to somebody else's ranch. It's his shit.

Yeah. So this would, this has made it worse. You got to walk to the top of the mountain and then you jump off. Well, how am I getting down? I got to walk back down. What could go wrong in eight years? Walking in the weather. No, wait, you walked the hang glider up with your dad and he's got

all his hang gliding buddies. He jumps off. See you later, Gary. I got to walk back down. up with your dad and he's got all his hang gliding buddies he jumps off see like Gary I gotta walk back down see you later Gary but that's ridiculous that is absurd but I was like let me tell you why I enjoyed it because I knew when we was done hang gliding we was getting something and we got to go out to eat. So Burger King, subway, McDonald's, that was a great fucking day, bro. And here's the best part.

If it wasn't hang gliding, it was racquetball. All right. Before you tell me about racquetball, how many times is he going up the hill? Just a one and done? Or are you taking that fucking thing up? No, I think it's a one and done. These weren't short hills and he'd be on that glider for an hour. Cause I remember you go down

and all the trucks are parked in a field and I just sit on his tailgate like, and you're just waiting. I'm just picturing this man who is avoiding his family by floating in the fucking air. Yeah. You know like art imitating life. Here's my son down there.

I'm not doing nothing with him. God, that guy. That's wild. You look back and you don't know any better. That's wild, yeah. Just don't know. I'm gonna be murdering today, man. But I'm thinking, what could go wrong in the woods

by myself? Oh God, that is hilarious. That is absurd. Hey, that is absurd. Any, what else? Any good time you ever have like a, I know you said that was good because you're getting Burger King. Do you ever have a time where you went to a ball game

or anything like, what made you such a sports fan? I don't know. It was my age. Cause I was like six or seven. The first time the Bengals went to the Superbowl and Superbowl 16. And I was against the 49ers. Yeah.

No, that was, that was Kenny Anderson. Kenny Anderson. So the whole city, you know, at that point, you're on elementary schools, you got bingo stuff over, it kind of takes you over. So Mike, the first football game I ever watched was Superbowl 16, the Bengals and 49ers. And everybody, you know, the, you're watching it with like 40 people, all adults and they're all over the

Bengals. So you just kind of get caught up. And I lived there. So that was my team. That was, I never watched them any game before that. It was Superbowl 16 was the first NFL game I watched. And I go, then they never left me. That was it. Never that. What were you good at? What sports were you good at? What were you like, I'm fucking good. Wrestling, obviously. No, football was average. Crazy. The best sport I was, was the discus. Discus. OK, track and field.

So my my senior year, I said, I just didn't want to be home. So I was like, I didn't like the baseball coach. Cause I played baseball at that point. I go, it's going to run track. So I go over the track team and, uh, first round of the bat, we're running like eight times around the track. I go, okay, this thing don't work out. What else we got?

I looked up on the field and there's somebody doing a shot put. I go, I'm a little small, but I'll go up there. And they was like, all right, we only got one shot putter. And they go, we ain't got nobody throwing the desk. I'll throw a desk. I ended up being pretty good at it. Yeah. So I was like, oh, but I just remember that was a big man's sport and I wasn't that big. So every time you go to track meets, it was all the guys that were like Lyman. Yeah. When you play high school football. Yeah. Yeah. The big ball. And I'm here, I come in all wiry. But I wasn't too bad at it. Honestly, that was my best sport. Let's go back now real quick. Racquetball. You were starting to say next was racquetball.

So you saw, who was in the hang glider? I'd see that racquetball in the back seat. I'd be like, oh, fuck, we're going racquetball courts. So he would that racquetball in the back seat. I'd be like, Oh fuck, we're going to racquetball courts. So he would play racquetball all day and hold on. Wouldn't leave me any money though. I couldn't eat. Where are you going? Just sitting there watching through the glass. Just outside. Yeah.

Remember no cell phones. The one had a bar and they had a little TV. So good thing is he picked me up on Sunday. So football season was great because I could just watch whatever games on. And then there's a couple of instances in my life where I had just guys just looked out, they see this little kid sitting there. So there's one guy, you weren't supposed to be at the bar, but it's one guy. He had to be like probably mid twenties.

He goes, Hey, just sit here at the end. So he'd sit at the end and the motherfucker would just give me a Pepsi, throw me a burger and I wouldn't have to pay for it. You know, like I was the best, you know what I mean? And then he'd sit there and he'd sit there and nobody be coming. He'd talk to games, you know, I remember him going like this guy, he's wild. He's talking about Mark Gastineau. Yeah. He goes, man, this man is a sax and quarterback.

And he starts dancing, watch his shit. And it was like the next play, I go, fuck, they know that. You know what I mean? But's a sax and quarterback. And he starts dancing, watch his shit. And it was like the next play, I go, fuck, you know that, you know what I mean? But he was, he was cool. So I always like, whenever I saw him at the bar, I go, this is going to be a good day, but when he wasn't working, I was like, fuck, this guy's gonna make me pay. So I was just, just kind of sitting there all day though.

So that was my, my childhood with my dad, racquetball, hand gliding every now and then. Oh, did you ever go, okay. We Go ahead. I don't want to stop. I don't know if you ever went. Okay. But do that. I had to go back. All right. My stepdad tried to fight my real dad. Oh, he did. So this is, this is such a fucking interesting story. I wake up my stepdad goes, Hey, next time always calls, let me know. He never called my dad by his name. He called him Owen. So I go, what happened? So I knew something was up. My mom tells me

your dad called last night and cuss rod out. And I went, why? Well, here's what happened. My grandpa, this for cell phones. This is when you write people's numbers down next to the fridge. My grandpa put Gary Jr., Gary Sr., cause I'm named after my dad. My grandpa thought he was calling my dad, but he called the trailer park, right? Called my stepdad. My stepdad answer the phone and goes, hello? And my grandpa goes, I speak to Gary.

And my stepdad goes, it's kind of late to be calling, isn't it? And my grandpa goes, who the fuck are and my stepdad goes, it's kind of late to be calling, isn't it? And my grandpa goes, who the fuck are you? Put my son on the phone. And so my stepdad goes, what? So they're cussing each other out and they hang up. They don't realize, this was my grandpa thought he was calling my dad,

but my grandpa called us. So now my stepdad thinks my dad called and cussed him out. So he's telling me like, he thinks it was your dad. My dad called for me and now cussed him out. He's like, next time he calls, let me know. Couple weeks later, my dad finally calls. It's a Sunday. He goes, can I come get you? Like he always says, yeah. So usually he'll call like nine in the morning and he'll come about 12. And we And we're and I had this big bay window in front of the trailer So I'm looking out the window. I'm like, please don't show up Please don't show up because there was times he wouldn't show up

I saw that Toyota truck coming down the road. I go fuck And Rod goes go in the back. So I go in the back of the trailer and I thought He was about to beat my dad's ass, right? Cause all I heard was the screen door popped the motherfucker. Rock comes walking in like 30 seconds later laughing. And I go, what happened? Cause you can go now. I go in and my, my dad's in his truck and he goes, what the fuck was that? Keep in mind. My dad is in his truck. He sees this wild man run out of the trailer. My dad went, dad is in his truck. He sees this wild man run out of the trailer. My dad went,

lock the door, roll the window up. So my dad cracked the windows going, that was my dad. My dad, guess they figured it out. So now I'm with my dad all day and he's all, he talking about is like, what the fuck he's trying to fight me. It's so all about him. Right. And then he just, we spend the day together and he just takes back the

trailer and drops me off. And I remember thinking when I got older, I go, if my son is living with a man that would run out of a trailer, keep in mind, not a house, want to fight, I go, I'm going to inquire about that man at that point. I'm like, is he always like this? Nah, my dad was like, all right, good luck with that crazy motherfucker. Good luck with Rob. I got a racquetball invitational.

I'll be up in the air. City championships next week. I'm hang gliding. Did you ever get the hang glide? No. Come on, dude. You never got the hook up and go one time. No, never one time. He would tell me too, he was like, I'm going to do it when you're nine, I'm going to do

it. He never did. This motherfucker hooked a woman to him. One time. What do you, he brought it, he would bring like his girlfriends, his hose with the, he never hooked you. What I think I saw insertion at one point. You're good. God.

Oh, shit dude. Oh man. Okay. All right. So you go to the Navy and you're in the Navy for how. Okay. Alright. So, you go to the Navy and you're in the Navy for how many years? Six. You do six years. Where? All in San Diego? No. First years in DC. I was an honor guard. So, we were doing the parades, the

funerals, the things you see on TV. Presidential Honor Guard because I was in boot camp. They said everyone with a 34 inch waist or under and over six feet tall come down the field house because everybody has to look the same in the honor guard. Right? So I go down there, I was the perfect person. I was like six to, you know, I'm 17, 18 years old. I'm very skinny. So I sign up, I say, you know, I'd rather do that than what I was going to do in the Navy. Because they show this video and it just looks amazing, right? Well, were you going to be a jet mechanic?

No, I was going to be a yeoman. I literally went into the Navy and I said, I don't want to be outside. I don't deal with the heat that well. Air conditioning? He's like, oh, you want to be a yeoman. So I went and told my family, I go, yeah, I'm going to be the Admiral's assistant. I put a lot on it. I'll be the Admiral's assistant.

Wherever he goes, I'm right there be the Admiral's assistant. I put a lot on it. I'll be the Admiral's assistant wherever he goes. I'm right there. Just make sure everything's in order. So they tell me like, yeah, you got in the honor guard. I was like, oh, I didn't realize when I was in boot camp, when I said, yeah, I want to do it. There was like 80 guys that said they wanted to do it. Four of us made it because they're going back're going back to them background checks because you're

on the White House lawn. You're literally this close to the president. You're not seeing them because you're looking straight ahead. But the mother fuckers right here. You know what I mean? Let's remember. Is that the rule? You're not if you if you get caught looking, are you done? Oh, yeah. You will never be back. Yeah. Yeah. You're stone face, bro. Like some of our ceremonies when I was in the honor guard, Oh, I, what I was getting at was four of us made it. I didn't know they went back into background checks on all of us. So they went and talked to the principal.

Find out if we have police records. They went to the mayor. Gary, we talked to Rod. Rob was probably a very short conversation. What? So yeah, I'll be funny. I'm glad he didn't talk to them. That went wrong.

But, uh, uh, what was I getting? You got signed off on you got, uh, so I got in, I didn't realize they went and all did that. So I went out of, out of 80, you're one of the four, one of the four. Okay. And what do you, What's your job now? What do you do? You get to DC and your first two months you're in a thing called training platoon, where

you're basically living in the attic of Independence Hall, which is the barracks. And you're right in DC and you just live in this attic and they're just teaching you how to march, how to do your clothes. You know, you just, cause cause you gotta be flawless basically. So you're just learning all that the first two months. You're learning the commands. Are you doing the rifle and all that stuff? Well, you do a little bit of everything,

but then when you actually get in the honor guard, depending on your build and height, you're either a body bearer, which is guys that carry the caskets, your drill team, which is those ones actually throw, everyone carries the rivals and do basic moves, but the drill team is the one that are doing the wild shit. Throwing it.

Yeah. They throw it through each other and stuff. And then you got the flag bearers. Those are more main, the tall lengthy guys, because they're the ones carrying the flag. So once you get down there, they put you in different categories. The crazy part is though, some of these ceremonies are in the summer and you're outside and it's hot. Guys be passing out. DC is fucking human shit.

You know, guys will go down. Well they'll drop, huh? Drop. You can't look either. You got to shit. I had one guy, I was standing there one time and the dude, like I felt him, it was on my shoulder. And I remember I was singing, I was trying to see and it was never

forget his name was Gerald Bright black dude I remember he was on my shoulder coming passed out he was looking at me the blank stare like got knocked a like so the whole time I'm going yes he was still holding up no he was out but he landed on my shoulder he was still holding up. No, he was out, but he landed on my shoulder. I'm saying he's still leaning there. But I remember thinking like, fall down. Because if you fall down, the guy will come get you. This is really what I'm doing. On your shoulder.

And I'm going, I can see his ass. Is he dead? And then he just, he finally came and got him. They didn't come get him yet. You hear like bushes shaking sometimes. You'd be standing here like, you'd be thinking somebody went down baby. Can't lock your knees bro. Who was president when you were there?

I did the inauguration for Clinton. Oh you did? Okay. So when I got there was the first Bush. Oh wow, okay. And then right when I got there, Clint was, he was already elected, but we got through the inauguration. Okay.

So we did, we marched down Pennsylvania Avenue and we marched right by him. He's in a stanchion. Obviously there was like bulletproof glass in front of him, but it was gore him, their wives. And then I was in a perfect spot though, because if you're closest to him, you got to, your eyes stay forward. Everybody else does the eyes left to show the respect. And I was right in the second row. So when we go in eyes left, I was on them. I was like, oh, okay. So it was cool. It was very cool experience. And, and was that your job the whole time in the Navy? No, no, that was the first two years. Two years. And then I became a cop.

A cop? In the Navy. What kind of cop? What is that? Just regular cop, just on the base. Oh, cop on the base? Yeah. Do you have jurisdiction off the base if you see shit?

No. No. No jurisdiction. You have to call whatever the local San Diego PD or Coronado PD. Yeah. But it was just what you think. I mean, it's gun. We had a gun. I mean, it was everything.

You ever had to arrest anybody? Yeah, a couple arrests. But the only thing the base doesn't have, we ain't got murders. What are you getting? A lot of drunk driving and shit like that? Drunk driving, bar fights. Guys trying to sneak in the girls' barracks. Get that a lot. I used to let everybody go. It sounds like college. Did I used to tell the guys like you catch them? Like, dude, just get a fucking room, bro. Go off the base. You know, because they guys be especially when guys give you a hard time.

You're like, dude, I've never wanted to arrest people. I'm trying to talk sense into him like, dude, she ain't that she ain't that fine. I heard that pussy stinks. Like what? fine. I heard that pussy stank bro. I heard that one like a foul bro. I did you a favor. All right. You think you're the first one to sneak in her room? I've been on patrol for two years. Yeah, that's a good point. You know, I remember I used to sneak, we had a daycare on the base. That was the bad, I'd sneak in the daycare and crush that food in the fridge though. You getting that milk? Oh, that milk, that little cereal, little cereals.

I'm like this. Oh, it's burrito Tuesday. Because it's all laid out of the plastic. Bro, I stole so much food out of the daycare. Lunchables. They could have arrested me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we had keys to every building, bro. Yeah, we could get in everywhere. Oh, shit.

I would never steal it, but I don't know that daycare had the best food, bro. I've been looking at them kids like, I don't know how good you got it here. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. We were talking briefly before you started recording and we were talking about like how you go spend the night somewhere, something when you're a kid or you go somewhere else and you realize that home isn't normal. Yeah. Like when did you start realizing like, oh, what's going on with Rod and the trailer is not what's going on with my friends at school? Did you do sleepovers or did you ever have any at your place either? Both. Mainly I'd sleep over other people's houses, but,

do you have a favorite? Like, I'm going to go over here as Mrs. Mrs. Williams. The same guy that got me into the Navy, Mike Heineman, uh, dude, I got so comfortable cause they, they lived like a block away from the high school. So 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th, I'd walk over to their house. It got to the point. I just walk in like it got to the point where they're like, where's the frosted flakes? I go second shelf behind the pancake batter.

It's right there. Like I knew where shit was bro. But that family took me in bro. To this day I'm so indebted to them. This is how much they meant to me. When his mom passed, I was in Richmond, Virginia, the funeral's in Cincinnati, Ohio. There's no, you know, that's a small airport. There's no directs. I said, what, what times for funeral? And they was, I was going to take the weekend off. Like I got to go to Ms. Heineman's funeral. And they was all telling me, no, Gary, she knows you loved her.

You ain't got to show up. I said, no, this is, this is, this is very personal for me. So I get done with the show. I guess it stays like 1130. Me and my feature drove the DC. Cause that was the only direct flight that could get me to Cincinnati. So I was on the Sixth Am flight. I got to Cincinnati at eight. The funeral was like at ten. And I stayed till about two. And then I got back on a plane to get to DC, LA and DC at like four.

And then we drove back to Richmond, which is like two hours from Dallas. So the whole day was get off, get off stage Friday night, drive DC. I remember got a holiday in. I took like an hour nap. He stayed there all day to shout out to my feature director time. He just stayed and ran around town. And then he was there to pick me up and I landed at like four. And then we drove back to Richmond and did the shows.

But I mean, that's how much she meant to me. I was like, ain't no way. So I didn't have to cancel my shows, but I was able to still make the funeral. And I got like four hours at home with everybody. So it was cool. Yeah, that family, yeah, they probably meant more to me than anybody else.

Yeah. When I ran away, I called Mike and was like, okay, it was funny when I ran away. It was the night the Bills played the Giants the first time in the Super Bowl when Scott Norwood missed that kick. So my dad picked me up to go watch the Super Bowl with him. So I got back to the trail like midnight.

I walk in the trailer and my stepdad was on one that night. He was just going off about something. And he told me like, dude, the dishes vacuumed the living room. This is all like 1231 the morning. I'm like, what the fuck? And then I remember I had to take the garbage out and we had a shed next to the trailer. I took the garbage out and I looked at the trailer and I just went, fuck it. And I just started running. Right. And you see those horror movies when they fall. Yeah. That shit's real. I did the front roll. I looked back,

I go, that's why they fuck with Jason. I can't imagine if Jason Michael Myers is chasing me. Cause I'm looking back, like, are they going to come after me? And then I went to some other buddy of mine's trailer. And then I said, I walked in, I said, can I use your phone? And then he let me use his phone. I called Mike and literally I'm damn, they're crying on the phone. And I said, I said, Mike, and he goes, Rod. And I go, yeah, I just ran away.

Can you meet me somewhere? So he told me where to meet them. So I ran in the woods. I'm hiding in the woods. He pulled up on the street, flashed his lights, got in the car, took off. And so I went over his state of his house for like a week. And I just remember I called my mom the next day at work. Did she know that family and know where you were and shit?

I told her the next day. Cause I went to school. I was wearing Mike's clothes. Everybody's calling me Gary Heineman at school. Cause I'm, I'm wearing, this is when the overalls was in. Yeah. So I had the overalls and shit. One off.

And he had money in me. So I was like, dude, I'm living life right now. I got the Z caveriches. Got the merry-go-round. Fucking hoodie and shit. So, so, uh, I called my mom. I said, mom, I ran away and she goes, yeah, I think I noticed. I think I noticed.

I think, cause you got bad. I left in the middle of the night and they, it's also a trailer, not a palatial man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I said, I'm in school. Everything's fine.

I'm staying at the Heinemann's. I just, I said, mom, it's January, right? I said, I'm leaving for the Navy in July. I said, dude, can I just enjoy these last couple of months? Cause that's what made me run away. When he was telling me to do the dishes and he's telling me to, to clean the trailer, he said, you gotta get a job. And I go, well, I don't have a car. He goes, I said, how am I going job. And I go, well, I don't have a car.

He goes, I said, how am I gonna get to work? He goes, I don't care, you gotta get a job. He goes, I'm sick of you freeloading off your mom. And I was like, I was thinking to myself, you get a job, because he ain't got a job either. Oh, is that right? Yeah, he's unemployed. So I'm just going, you get a job.

And then I didn't say that, but I was like, oh, this is, I said, dude, and now that I told him, I said, I joined the Navy. I'm leaving in July. Can't I just enjoy my last couple of months? And he was just like, nah, I was like, I'm a, I felt like I finally had the balls run away because I felt like I had somewhere I was going to go. Like I'm going to the Navy in July. So I finally had a place that could get me out of there. So that's really why I had the balls run away that night. And then it took like a week or two. I stayed at the Heinemans.

It was great. It was great. Two weeks. Right. My mom showed up at a high school basketball game with my little brother, who was like two or three at the time. And then everybody's like, your mom's here, man. You got to go home.

I go, no. And then my little brother kind of got me. And he was like, yeah, where you at? And stuff like that. And I was like, fuck. At the game, they're guilting you like this. Yeah, not practice. Nah.

And then I went home that night and I remember Rod never said he's sorry. All he did was he goes, you good? And I thought, yeah, he goes, all right. That was it? So what's your, we'll wrap up with this. What is your relationship like with your mom and Rod today? I don't have one with either of them.

Either? You don't talk to your mom at all? No. No. The thing, when my brother Dallas, I have a heroin overdose. So when that happened, I did an article for Buzzfeed back in 2014. And the article was about how this white guy

was one of the top grossing black comics in the country. How does that happen? That was what the article was about. Within this eight page article that you can see, go to Buzzfeed.com and search it, it's on there. It's like eight pages. There's a paragraph where I talked about my stepdad because the guy was trying to get them on the phone and he wouldn't get on the phone and I literally, I'm in the

car with him, I go, he's an asshole, bro. He's an asshole. He put that in the article. And so in their world, that whole article was about me calling Rod an asshole. Right. Yeah. No, it was very quick, was about me calling Rod an asshole. Right. Yeah. No, it was very quick, but I did call him an asshole.

So he's already on the fence, like tense with my mom and him. And then when my brother died, he kind of reconciled a little bit. Now is that your brother, is that Rod's son? Rod's son and my mom. Mom. Yeah. But he was the one I was closest with. He was cool. And when he died, he kind of reconciled a little bit.

And then Rod called and tried to blame me for him dying. And I said, we're done. Yeah, bro. Cause he said, you know, cause Dallas said he had overdosed probably four times before he actually overdosed and died. Cause there was fentanyl.

I was in the same goals and all that shit. Yeah. He bought, he was heroin addict, but he was laced with fentanyl. All of it was. They was like, he went down like that. He didn't feel anything. So Rod called me and I thought I was, I did this thing called facing addiction in DC. I was gonna speak, not as an addict,

but as a family member, how it affects us. And I told him, I said, I'm doing olive branch out there. I said, why don't you guys go with me? Could it be good? I said, you'll see, there'll be other families that know what you're going through. Rod called me, I'll never forget as long as I was in Des Moines, Iowa at the Funny Bone that weekend. I'm thinking he's gonna, hey, I'm trying to get some

information on this thing. He goes, man, I gotta tell you, you better not be using his death to benefit your career. And I went, what? I was like, oh my God. And he said, he said, you know, cause I'm gonna share a story with you, man. Dallas was doing fine. He was good. It was healthy. He was working. He goes, and then that article came out, swear on everything. And he goes, and then everything was different after that.

He tried to say that Buzzfeed article that you call rod and asshole. Dallas just went down after that. I was like, I don't mean to laugh about it's laugh. I was like, Oh don't mean to laugh about it's laugh. I was like, Oh, God, God bless Rod for finding a way though. Cause I kept thinking they can't, but cause I was the one that would put Dallas in rehab when he would overdose. I'm the one paying for it. So I'm like, the one son that never did drugs, me, never did anything, you're blaming me? I was like, oh, I say, this guy's amazing the way he can flip shit.

He did it. He figured out a way in his brain to flip it. When he called me, I go, Oh, that's, and that's that point. I was like, yeah, yeah. You can still love them and forgive them, but you just can't be around them. Yeah. I'd live and be well far away from me. Yeah. That's all like, it'll be good. Yeah. It's kind of like the, what about you? Masoos and Justin Tucker. I want them to have great massage. Like just not with Justin. Here's the thing, bro. You knew when, when Tucker saw the Ravens and the history of the Ravens since 1996 have never

drafted a kicker. He's an undrafted. Why would you? The Raiders going after Janna Cowsley in round one. They never drafted a kicker. They drafted a kicker. Yeah, I knew that right was on the wall right there. And then they said, hey, we're going to leave it up to the NFL.

They're doing their own investigation. Then they said, we're going to have to let you go. Guess what the NFL, but they're, look, if they really are following suit, the NFL's got a bunch. So it had to settle. But, that's the last question I wanna ask you. We'll have two more. Your relationship with your dad, is he all floating in and out of your life at all?

That relationship went left. We lost touch for a couple of years, right? Then we got back in touch and he's kind he's, he's kind of a user. Like I was, I was, you know, I was on my way to, you know, I don't want to call me famous, but I'm doing my thing. Right. He, I never seen anybody want to benefit off of it. Right.

Well, he was about him. And so every time we have to eat, I'm paying. If he came to a show, he'd ask if I could fly him in, can I get the hotel? Shit like that. I say, this is all I got to know about. Where is he? He's in Cincinnati. This is all I got to know about my dad.

Wait, hold on, I'm sorry. He wants you to fly him in like if you're in fucking Dallas or something and put him up and shit. I got the endless amount of money. Well, I can just stay with you, right? I go, no, you're not staying in my room? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I can't jack off with you in the room.

Any grown ass man asked me to stay in my room like, no. Is that no slumber party? No, bro, no, you're not staying in my room. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I can't jack off with you in the room. Ask me to stay in my room. No slumber party, bro. This is this is all you know of my dad, nutshell. I'm filming my special in Vegas, Manila Bay, 2011. I said, I fly him in. I put him up.

Well, the the casino gave me a bunch of rooms, right? I flew him in. I gave one of the rooms and it was a suite. And he had to leave his credit card for incidentals. There was a mix up and they ended up charging his credit card for the room and it was $1,100. So which is two nights. That's a hell of a, that's 550 a night for him, that's a lot. So he kept calling me going, dude, they charged my credit card. I said, all right, I call over to Showtime. They apologize, we'll get a check written out.

No problem. I said, dad, they're gonna take care of it. It's gonna be a couple of weeks, but you got it. I said, give me your address. Showtime writes a check for a thousand dollars, right? He gets a check. He goes, yeah, I got the thousand. He goes, but it's 1100.

And I go, all right, this dude would not leave me alone about that hundred dollars. I'm going, so hold on. He said, I need your manager's number. I go, I'm not giving you my manager's number for a hundred dollars. And then he was like, I finally just told him, I said, dad, take the L. I said, you went to Vegas for free. You didn't pay for, she didn't pay for one meal, one drink, nothing. I said, you went to Vegas for free. You didn't pay for she didn't pay for one meal, one drink, nothing. I said, just take the L. You got the thousand back. I'm not about to,

he wanted me to call Showtime. No, it's not enough. That's all I got with my dad. But our relationship ended four years ago. I came in town to Cincinnati and went to a Reds game and I got a suite and I didn't invite him. I'm not obligated to invite you to everything I do. He found out, left me a voicemail, cussed me out, like, you don't respect me, da da da da. And I called him back.

I said, yo, this is over a Reds game? And he goes, he goes, yeah, man. And he's like going in, right? It just got real tense. And then we just start, I never cussed him out of him in my life, but I snapped. Really? You never did up until then? No, never. I was very respectful to everybody.

Yeah. No, dude, he said something to set me off. And I said, fuck you. Fuck your bitch ass wife. Fuck your fucking family, homie. And hung up. And that was it. That's it. And then that ended it.

Pretty much that ended the relationship right there. Dude, I appreciate you doing this episode. Yeah, this was awesome. I fucking love talking to you, dude. And last question, advice you'd give to 16 year old Gary Owen. What do you tell in 16 year old Gary Owen. What do you tell in 16 year old Gary?

When you run away, don't look back. That's actually good advice. Straight ahead brother. Cause that shit's real. Yeah. There was snow on the ground and I was rolling. I was like, oh there's some, two of these horror movies. You know comedians always be like that.

Especially black comedians. Why people always be smiling? Shit up like this. Dude, you don't know. We get scared. Please, one more time, promote everything you like. Gary Owen No-S is on mintcomedy.com right now. What's your socials? At Gary Owen Comedy. It's your socials? At Gary on comedy. It's pretty much all of them. And then catch you on tour.

You're out there on the road. Every week. Gary on.live is my website. That's got all my dates on it. Thank you for doing this for real. That was awesome. Yeah, man. As always Ryan Sickler on all your social media.

We'll talk to you all next week.