The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - 340: Steph Tolev Pleads the Filth

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

SPONSORS: True Classic -Upgrade your wardrobe and save on trueclassic at https://www.TrueClassic.com/HONEYDEW! #trueclassicpod My HoneyDew this week is comedian Steph Tolev! Check out Steph’s new comedy special Filth Queen, out on Netflix now! Steph joins me this week to Highlight the Lowlights of navigating hate in day to day life, and toxic relationships that almost turned her off completely from dating. Steph shares her experience of finding true happiness in her career and personal life, and the subtle struggles with fear even when things are going so well. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON - The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! Get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! AND we just added a second tier. For a total of $8/month, you get everything from the first tier, PLUS The Wayback a day early, ad-free AND censor free AND extra bonus content you won't see anywhere else! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] Get Your HoneyDew Gear Today! https://shop.ryansickler.com/ Ringtones Are Available Now! https://www.apple.com/itunes/ http://ryansickler.com/ https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. Guys, you know what we do here. We're getting right into it now. We highlight the low lights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers.

I'm very excited to have this guest back on the honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Steph Toler. Welcome back to the Honey Bee. Steph Toler. I'm back. Do you know how many people still tell me that they come to see me because of this podcast? Is that real?

Yes, I'm sure to God. There's like three podcasts that have happened from and this is like a main one. What did they love from your first episode? Go watch her first episode. I mean, I probably should have listened to my first episode. I don't repeat. Oopsies.

No, no, no. I think it's because I'm so open about like my bullying and stuff. You are quite open. I was maybe a little too open. Well, before we get into how of an open book you are, promote your new special on Netflix. Congratulations.

Thank you so much. I have a special called Filth Queen out on Netflix right now. Please watch it. Please tell your friends. Produced by All Things Comedy. Bill Burr has a cameo in it because you better believe I put old Billy Redbeard right in the beginning.

I love that he loves you. I know. Actually, I just got a quote from him today for my press release and it's, I literally cried a little bit. I'm like, this is so embarrassing. That's nice. So whenever this is so sick, but whenever I get bullied online or made fun of or someone says I'm not funny, I just, I literally back my head and go, Bill Burr finds me funny. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. So to a lot of people. So go watch Filth Queen.

Go watch it. I filmed it in Boston. At the Paradise Rock Club. I don't think any of their specials have been filmed there. It's a very iconic rock venue with like, Blondie, Guns N' Roses, Aerosmith, fucking, everyone you think of. Alice in Chains fucking played there.

My dad was like jizzing out. Cause he's like, oh my God, I love all the Stonelots, like all his fucking favorites played there. So I felt really cool. That's when they get proud of you. You know, when it's personal for them. I had nothing to do with me. Yeah. It was like, the thing I gave life to. Finally, I can fucking relate to something you say. It's great. Very happy. All right. Good for you. Congrats. I love seeing you keep growing, girl. I'm growing. I'm doing something.

So let's talk about, wait. So, okay. Wait, hold on. Is that, that growing's not a... No, I don't know what I'm... You're not dropping a pregnancy bomb right now. No, I don't know why I said that. I said that, I was like, I was gonna say my labia.

I was like, honestly, I feel like it's getting so much longer, it's actually really upsetting me. I swear to God. No, I'm like, it's getting so much longer. It's actually really upsetting me. I swear to God. No, I'm like, it's getting so long. It's like peeking out and I like, I showed my sister it cause she's like, I don't get it. Peeking out of what?

Like, so say my vagina is like this. Yeah. My labia is like peeking in between. Why is that a problem for you? Well, cause it's getting so long. And I like, it's like- You're saying this is a change in life. It feels like it's longer.

Oh, I see. I don't think it's always been this long. Like it's getting stretched out or something. Yes, my labia's growing. And I showed my sister it very recently, the day of my 40th birthday, and I showed it to her. Never showed it to my vagina, that's a very bizarre thing to do.

Wait, how do you ask? I was explaining that it's long and peaking. She goes, I don't get peaking. I go, do you want to see it? She goes, okay. In person? In person. Okay, all right, we're not all FaceTime here.

This is in Toronto, day before my fucking 40th birthday. In person? In person. Okay, all right, we're not all FaceTime here. So this is in Toronto, day before my fucking 40th birthday. 39 years old in Toronto. This just happened back in March. I pulled down my pants quickly. It wasn't a long stare. It's bizarre to lay your sister, look at your pussy in general.

So I gave a little quick peek. My sister, who's my best friend in the fucking world, looks at my vagina and goes, ew, what the heck? What the heck? And I'm like, excuse me? She goes, ew, what the heck? What the heck? And I'm like, excuse me? She goes, sorry, it was alarming. What do you mean alarming, bitch?

What did you think? I said peaking. There wasn't two googly eyes on it. What do you mean alarming? It was so, I was so pissed. And then I got so self-conscious. So I started looking at like labiaplasty. I'm really looking at it.

Like I found this website. I contacted a doctor because my friend had it done, my friend, I won't say her name, but she's a porn star, and she got stabbed in the vagina years ago in Vancouver. With an actual knife? Oh, she was attacked. She was attacked by this fucking club owner, this ghetto club owner, oh yeah, fully, she had her on the podcast, fully stabbed her, actually she'd be great, fully stabbed her,

I'll go get her, see you later. Fully stabbed her up, she's had a full reconstructive. So she sent me her guy. So they emailed me, they're like, we'll do a free. Yeah, have us do a free. Have you seen it since? I have seen it. And it's. It's like, yeah, it's totally different now.

She had like an Audi, now she's got an Innie. Wow. I mean, can I like. I don't think men care. I don't want to get into your personal business even though you're totally putting it out there. And it's not what I'm going to ask. Don't you just care?

Clown scarf? Like a Batman cape. Ah! The next shot is me behind you. You're like... I'm gonna fly down. Ah! It's my eyes peeking over it.

I'm just high, I'm a pussy. Yeah. I mean,, I'm a pussy. Yeah. I mean, I would have had cut. Don't you only care if you and your man care? Is all I was gonna say here. That's what I mean. I mean, and I also think he doesn't care. I don't think men really care.

God, we don't give a shit. But I'm like, also I think it would feel weird. And I looked into the surgery. It's very intensive. They snip and pause, I guess. I'm not worried. Listen, back in the day when I wrote on jobs, production jobs and stuff, I worked on Dr. 90210.

You ever hear of that show on E? No. And it was all this time of surgeries and stuff. Snippy snips. Oh, I saw it. You saw it? They burn too. Oh, they would, yeah, they burn and cut

and everything down there to take a, and they even can do it for, they did one episode with a guy who felt his scrotum was too large and they took excess scrotum off. Was it long though? It didn't look long. It just looked like big balls, you know what I mean? And the guy's like, well, we could take the excess skin. But here's the thing about the skin.

It's like when we're cold, our balls go up inside our body. And then when we're hot, they chillin' down there in the hammock. You know what I mean? You need the skin to understand why you wouldn't. Because it's like, what do I need that for? I don't need extra pussy. It's not like when I'm cold or hot,

it's still the exact same. There's no way this episode's getting monetized. Oh, sorry. They'll at least see the beginning of your program. I don't think, yeah, if you want to get monetized, don't put me on your podcast. I'll tell you what, my podcast ain't getting monetized. There's no monetization when I'm on anything.

Okay. But, however. However, I looked at a lot of before and after photos, felt much better about my vagina, and then I realized, it's like a three and a half month, you can't move, you like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, If he did, if he, but if he did, I think I'd be like, fuck you.

I'd be more annoyed. Thank you. I've never had a guy complain. Who knows? Maybe it's why hell is when I stand there like, God, that lady was long. I don't know. I don't know.

No guy cares. The fact that a woman is letting us enter their body. If you're going to be super fucking picky about, I'm not talking about hygiene or any of that, I'm talking about anatomy. Anatomy. If you're gonna be a dick about that, yeah, fuck off.

Well, speaking of being a dick about anatomy, this thing right here, the internet is so fucking mad about my nose. Why? I don't know. Men? Ask the fucking men on the internet. Why? I don't know. Men? Ask the fucking men on the internet. What started it?

When did it, like, can you think back to a post or anything where you're like, what the fuck's going on all of a sudden? Yes, literally anytime. The, when I did Bill Burr's Friends Who Kill, that, so many people commented on my nose, like, why is it so big? Batman, I look like the penguin from Batman,

which if you are following Netflix, that's the first joke I made about myself, so you're hack if you say it again. It's like, at this point, I have to address it. It has gotten to a point, there was a video that went crazy viral on, I think it's like three million views on Facebook, I can send you guys a link,

and I was like, what the hell? This is a video of me saying I have a boyfriend, and I'm like, he's a classically trained pianist. I can prove it. And Jefferson was in the room. So I called him up on stage at the improv and he's just playing the piano. And I'm like, why is this going viral?

All the comments are about how big my nose is, how gross my nose is, how it's prosthetic. This huge argument about being a prosthetic. I'm like, you think I have a box of noses that I'm lugging? You, I'm like, you think I have a box of noses that I'm lugging, you think I'm lugging merch and a suitcase of prosthetic schnoz's to fucking Albuquerque?

What are you talking about? Like, it's so crazy, but every fucking, so every morning, every morning I wake up and there's a convo I know, it's like every, about my appearance, men are just so angry at me and how I look, it's so strange. I think you could have stopped it at me and how I look. Dudes are, internet dudes are angry.

Internet dudes, but it's, I see other, I know it's everybody, but like, it's, I think it's because I'm so outspoken and I'm so confident and a lot of times I make fun of men. So they're like getting pissed off at me, it's their way of getting back at me. But there's one comment where I just did Jordan Jensen's podcast and I fucking loved Jordan.

It was so fucking fun. So me and her talking and one of the comments just said Jordan's hot and I liked it. I'm like, I think Jordan's hot, great. And then a comment underneath this fucking guy, he wrote, anyone besides Stef Tolive is hot. And I just started bawling. Like I was reading it and I was like,

I'm like, and I come out and Jefferson's like, what's wrong with you? And I'm like, and I'm like, I don't know why, but I'm like, for some reason, that's the one that fucking set me. And I look at this guy's photo, probably 200, 300 pounds, like so ugly, hideous. You're disgusting if you're listening.

He probably hate watching me. Also, he was fucking following me. So he's probably gonna watch this. Yeah, that's the weird thing. Fuck you. Hate porn stuff. Fuck off, man. So I like, I remember I commented something back

being like, this is so hateful for no reason. Like, congrats, man. You won, you made me feel like shit. I don't know what you want from me. And then I erase, next I was embarrassed. And then I like, I'm like every single, this morning I woke up and there's a comment of how I'm so ugly.

Every single day. And it's like, I'm not looking for them. You know when you open your Instagram and they're just day, and it's like, I'm not looking for them. You know when you open your Instagram and they're just like alerts? It's like, I don't know. Obviously women get this more than men, whatever, but I'm like, I don't know why it's just every fucking minute of every day.

I guess the point is why I was like looking at no jobs because I'm like, dude, is it that bad? And I'm like, and then someone's like, it's growing. Russell Peters told me it keeps growing. And I'm like, oh, in my head now that my fucking nose is gonna be out here in like fucking five years. And I'm like, oh, in my head now that my fucking nose is gonna be out to here in like fucking five years. But I'm like, I'm not gonna get a nose job. I'm not gonna do the Jennifer Grey thing from,

after dancing. Yeah, where she's unrecognizable. And no one even knows that she is anymore. Nothing can happen after that. And her nose wasn't even that fucking big. Anyways, it's just very frustrating that every, it's like, I'm trying to just, yeah, just because I put myself out there doesn't mean you can comment on my fucking appearance.

Like it's bizarre. Also then don't fucking watch my shit. If I'm so ugly to you, don't look at me. I don't know, it's such a bizarre thing to be like obsessed with like staring at me. You have the option, so no one's forcing that onto your phone. Also my boyfriend's so fucking hot, suck my ass.

That's the thing. Like I don't know what to tell you. I have a hot boyfriend. He loves it. He loves me. That's all you need. He thinks I'm hot, don't care what you think. But it's like, it's just so repetitive that it gets to the point

where you're like, because in my head I'm like, whatever. They're jealous, whatever I want to say. I mean, listen, I can empathize with waking up and seeing hate all day long. That would suck. It's bad. Abuse. And then I finally, then I get to the point where I'm like,

am I ugly? I'm like, I'm not walking around. And also it's not like I'm doing comedy where I'm on stage like, it's so hard being a hot girl. What am I, Jeff Dye on his Instagram? I mean, it's so hard being hot. No, I'm a fucking normal woman being like, I don't ever say I'm hot.

I'm like, my pussy's huge. I'm already saying these things. And the men are like, yeah, you're, I'm like, well, what are you talking about? I've never been that comic that's like, I'm sexy, sex sells. I'm like, buddy, if sex sells, I'm doing it wrong. I'm wearing jumpsuits and I got a fucking mullet.

I don't know what to tell you. I've done the whole thing wrong. Nothing's working here. Nobody wants to fuck me and that was part of my thing. I'm like, I don't want to be that kind of comic. No, because what you're putting out there, that's real. It becomes you if you put it out there. That's what you are.

Yes, it's just very, it's very, it's too many. It's too many. If you want to cut this out, we can, but I've known you for a while now. And I know that just being bullied and stuff, which I want to talk about, can we talk about that clip you posted? Okay, we'll come back to that.

But when you did the epic special where we met and then late, are we allowed to talk about this? Yeah, and I was, that was the, I was so fat. I didn't see you for a few months or whatever. I see you in a green room. I want to say it might've been West Side. Yes, I think it was. And you're like, I got something done here. What's it called? Kybella. So I got it done in my, in my double chin. Because the angle, I looked so bad on that fucking whole special.

I'm like, nobody watch that please. Just watch me on Netflix. I lost 30 pounds for the special. Hell yeah. Not a rose epic. Exercise and not eating. I'm starving. My double chin was so bad.

Because photos are always taken from underneath, especially for women. I'm like, nobody even meant. Nobody wants a photo under here or a video camera under there. So I got this thing, it's injections. In your double chin, it's like an acid and it burns away the fat. And I don't regret it and I would do it again. I tried doing it to my stomach, but it didn't work as well.

Can I ask you, have you done a side by side photo comparison? Did it work enough for you? 100%. And it doesn't come back, like obviously if we eat and gain weight. They said, the way Cubella works, I'm no doctor, but they said that it injects this like literally acid. So it goes into your chin and then it swells up.

You didn't see me after that, because it was like during COVID and I started wearing a mask all the time. And then I was like covering it and then I was like icing it. It swells up, you look like a bullfrog. It like sways around and then the acid eats away your fat cells. So it's supposed to, when your fat now travels

to other parts of your body. So I'm supposed to have like fat other places. But I will say if you're a woman, especially with a, or a man, if I was a man I'd just have a fucking beard, who cares, hide the chin. But if I was a woman, I, if I was a woman, I am a woman. The long labia is not a penis. I'm confusing people now.

Great, I got a new thing they're gonna be pulling me about. Jesus Christ. They're gonna be like, I knew it! I knew it, I knew it! I knew it, I knew it! God damn it. It does work for small areas of fat. So because it's a small area, it targets it.

But it's not cheap, I spent like five grand. Oh, I went three times. Oh, it's not, you can't do like two little injections. Go out, it burns, it fucking burns, it's disgusting. And it't do like two little injections. Oh, it burns. It fucking burns. It's disgusting. And it's a thing, a procedure. You have to go for a few. It's the least invasive though, if you want to do like,

if you want like actual like a chin tuck or like lipo, it's the least invasive. Otherwise it's like, they cut from behind here, behind your ear and the, I looked it all up. Cause I was like, I hated it so much and they suck it out. But then I tried doing kind of out of my stomach recently because I have that gut that's just simply never going away.

I'm like, I just have one. Most women do, it's not going anywhere. I had no kids, I don't know why it's there. It's there, I hate it, I don't want it there. So I tried doing it there and it didn't really work because it's too big of an area. And I spent like $3,000 and did nothing. I was like, well, that was a waste of money.

Could have put that in the nose, shrunk that down. Okay. Let's leave our nose and our pussy alone for now. Yes, for now. It's gonna be hard. Let's leave our nose and our pussy. Let's leave that to our partner, our man. He can play with your nose and your pussy.

You stop fucking worrying about it. I have to, yes. Now, if something happens where you're like, okay, this needs to be addressed, then address it. Yes. But also, we're comedians, we're not fucking looked at for fitness and health and stuff,

but we wanna look nice and feel good, but make sure you're healthy, that's all. Yeah, no, no, I am healthy. And I wanna, here's the thing, I don't think I would work this hard if I didn't have to edit my own damn clips. Staring at myself all day long, I hate this. If I was just scrolling through the internet,

I'd be like, oh, you look great, But I'm like, what the hell is that? All day judging every frame. And because I move so much, I'm like, it's all like chin and my gut. And I'm always like hunched over. I'm like, you know, one of the guys who call me a ghoul, I'm behaving as such. It's so annoying just staring at myself all day long. I don't even like looking in the mirror. I get ready and I leave the house. That's it. So how does someone who's been bullied from, I mean, I know it goes back to minimum high school,

but were you bullied before that? No, just started in high school. Okay, how does someone who's bullied in high school go about putting themselves in the spotlight, literally to be openly bullied by everyone, not just these people that you attend, go to school, just in this building? I never thought of it.

Well, when we started comedy, there was no fucking internet, go to school. I never thought of it. Well, we started comedy. There was no fucking internet. There wasn't this whole way to get bullied. I think if I knew now, if I started stand up, knowing this is exactly how it was gonna be, I don't know if I would have done it. I don't know if I would have woken up every day to the constant fucking hate.

I started comedy where I was like, you see me live. You like me there, you come see me getting live. That's what it was. I'm 306 years old. That's how we started. Now it's like a whole different thing. Now we open ourselves up to critiques on podcasts, on clips, on specials, on...

Everything, every fucking thing we do. Every crowd work clip I post, every little fucking, women are funny, oh, I'm talking about fucking sex. Which is like, that pisses me off so bad. Every fucking man talks about sex. Unless you're Brian Regan talking about cranberries, every fucking man talks about fucking sex. Go find a fucking clip. Every fucking man talks about sex. Unless you're Brian Regan talking about cranberries, every fucking man talks about fucking sex. Go find a fucking clip.

Every fucking man talks about sex. I'm so pissed by it. It's that one pisses me out. I'm like, you say I'm not funny, whatever, so hack, I don't care anymore. But being like, all we do is talk about sex? Yeah, I do personally, of course. I'm a pervert, I don't give a shit's ass.

Maria Bamford, I don't think she's ever even said fuck in her life. Like you're putting all of us in a group when it's like, Laurie Kim Martin doesn't really talk about sex. Love Laurie, love Lori. Who does Lori do the podcast with? Oh my God, blanking out her name right now. Dork Forest, oh my God.

Are you talking about Jackie Cation? Jackie Cation, not dirty. Like we're talking about all these fucking people. These are not dirty comedians. Like stop grouping us all in. I feel bad for them. I'm like, anyways, whatever, it's annoying. But speaking of, so it sucks

because what I wanted to talk about on this podcast is that I had a very, very, very bad relationship, but I don't think I'm allowed to talk about it. But I can say, women, trust your instincts when you're dating somebody and you should always believe women. And you should 100% Google who you're dating because I broke up with him and then I got DMs

from other women claiming horrendous shit he had done to them. So all this to say, I am friends with his ex-wife now, who did take him to court for something quite large. Anyways, and I've never felt more sick in my life, so I wanted to discuss this, but apparently men who are bad can just continually get away with things

because that's just how the system works, I guess. But just make sure you really Google, because I was in a really bad place after that. I was in like a fucking, I was done. I was like, I don't know if you saw me then. I was like, I had just lost a bunch of weight then. This first time I lost a bunch of weight in a long time. I was feeling so good on myself. At a weird little point where where I had like I had been treated like shit by a bunch of men

before that and I finally like got to it. I think I told you how I was like almost raped last time I was here and I was like just getting over and there's all these other horrible guy things and this like men treat me like dog shit out here and I finally was like here we go found somebody and then it ended up being worse than any guy I had ever been with. And I was like, dear God, no. So I was at like my fucking lowest. And then I met Jefferson at a fucking show. This is what I wanted to ask you. Prior to Jefferson, are all these men you're meeting through online?

Yeah. So it is a fucking crazy shit show. I have met a couple of nice guys. I will say there's a couple of guys I met that I'm actually like when I stand. What are you doing on here? I think when it first started, those people were like normal. I think now it's just like people are getting so desperate

and they've been there for so long. And I think the way you get treated on the apps, you're constantly ghosted and like, like literally tossed away like you're fucking nothing. So then you do that to other people because you're so fucking used to being treated like that. It's this whole, it's this bad, bad, bad cycle. So I'm like, I can't believe, when I met Jefferson,

I was on the apps for women. I was like, I can't believe, when I met Jefferson, I was on the apps for women. I was like, I'm done with men. I don't trust them. I can't, losing trust in a whole gender, which I didn't wanna do this, but this person fucking sucked the soul out of my fucking life. And I was like, I will never trust a man again.

I can't believe how I feel. Sold so much of my merch money, that pissed me off the most. He stole? Oh yeah, he would like sell my merch in the road. I remember people being like, in Vancouver, I remember people, I'm like, I thought I sold a bunch of stuff, and people were like, I gave you cash.

I'm like, cash? He'd be like, uh, what cash? I got like 20 bucks. I'm like, whatever. I just, getting your trust taken away that much by somebody, it's very hard. It's very hard to get it back. And then I was like slowly,

like maybe thinking of dating women because I'm like, I can't do this. I can't fucking look at a man. And then I met Jefferson and it was so organic. Wait, you really did consider dating women? Yeah, I dated women before. Okay, all right, it wasn't a thing. Well, years ago.

I hear you. But it wasn't something that was unfamiliar to you where you're like, fuck it, I'm just gonna go the other way. Well, I was gonna force it, yeah. I mean, I'm attracted to women, but it's very specific women. It's not like all women, I'm like, seeing them,

like, you know, a hot guy with something, it's a hot guy with a woman, it's like one out of like 500. I'm like, God, that woman's gorgeous. Like, it's more like that. So I was ready to give up. I'm like, I'm done. Or not even like even date. I was like, the idea of even trying to date somebody,

I'm like, I don't fucking care. And then I date. I was like the idea of even trying to date somebody, I'm like, I don't fucking care. And then I met Jefferson organically. So organic. That's the thing. Unbelievable, unreal. He was, we met at a show, he saw me live, liked what he saw live, which is unheard of. The amount of men that, I would only have like,

I had sex with like a couple, I don't want to say groupies, but like fans, which don't do that. Big mistake on that front. They are psycho. I slept with one guy in Florida. After a show or something? After a show. And it was like, you know, we had, it was, I thought it was going to be one night stand. I was like, whatever.

I'm never here. Ended up kind of like, you know, we talked a bit and then I was like, this is coming a little too much for me. I gotta tone it down a bit here. And he's like, oh, send me, he got merged but didn't fit him, so I'm like, oh, I'll send you the right size. So I sent it from the Comedy Store address.

He receives it and he goes, what the fuck? Comedy Store address, you don't trust me? You can't send it from your home address? And I was like, and my heart like fucking dropped. I was like... And my heart like fucking dropped. I was like, oh, this is fucking weird. That's a weird thing to say. And I'm like, ah, I got to...

This is done. And he's like, I was going to move for you. I'm like, move for me. Don't move anywhere from me. We're not... Move where? And I was like... You put it on him.

You put that labia on him, Steph. He liked the labia too much. You put that labia on him. That freaked me out. I got like... You can't bring your A game to something like that, Steph. No labia too much. You put that labia on him. That freaked me out. I got like, I don't- You can't bring your A game to something like that. No, it was done. So I was like, I'll never go back to Florida.

Florida and me are Finney foe. I hate Florida. The whole state. The whole state, I'm not, I'm joking. The state of Florida, I will, people keep asking me to go back to Florida. I'm not going back to Florida. I hate Florida.

Florida's out. But then, I'm at Jefferson and I'm very happy. And it's such a nice learning curve to like, I just feel weird sometimes because it's, I've never been happy in my relationship and in my career. This is the first time ever. And it's scaring the fuck out of me. Because I'm so used to like talking,

like a lot of my fans who I got originally were me talking about how I was single and how men are shit and how we can treat like dog shit and like making fun of the apps and all that. And now I'm like, oh, I'm happy. And I'm like wildly in love and I've never been with someone that I felt this close to or this connected to.

Like I've never, whatever. Anyways, back to the bully thing. So hilarious that this is like a full circle. So last time I was on here, I told you all about my bully, how I was bullying in high school, all this stuff. So I do a show in Toronto, my hometown, my home club, comedy bar, on the damn fourth in Toronto.

And I got this DM from one of, not my bully, one of the guys who was part of the bully group, but he never bullied me. I actually had a crush on him when I was younger. And then he ended up dating my best friend. Anyways, that's a side note. Did it hurt me? Yeah, sucked my little,

my little schnoz right off my head. So I get a DM from this guy's brother going, we're in the front row, come at us. Got VIP tickets. We can take it. Egging me on. Bullies from back in the day. So not the bullies, no, so this is confusing.

So it's the bully's friend's brother. Bully's friend's brother. Got it, got it. So I don't even really know the brother. I was like, I guess he's a fan, he's a fan. I knew he, I kinda knew he was a fan. But the friend you did like, you did like the bully's friend.

I did like the bully's friend. This is his brother. He was always nice to me, he never bullied me. With you. But he was in that friend group. So the brother, we're here, so I peek out and I see them. Two bald heads sitting in the front, I go, fuck, they're actually in the front.

I go, okay, fine. So I come out and I'm kind of doing my crowd work. If you've seen my comedy, you know I'm gonna ask you whatever the fuck if you're sitting in the front row. People sit in the front row to be asked these questions, they're ready to say shit to me. That's my whole thing. People literally DM me being like, my husband's in the front row, he's so questions, they're ready to say shit to me. That's my whole thing. People literally DM me being like,

my husband's in the front row, he's so ugly, make fun of him. I get like crazy shit like that. I'm like, I'm gonna deny it. He is like, I'm not gonna say anything, it's bizarre. So I'm like, okay. So I come out, I start kind of doing crowd work with them, whatever, and I see the one guy who's, oh, I know, I go, you.

I go, are you still friends with my high school bully? He goes, I am. I go, you. I go, are you still friends with my high school bully? He goes, I am. I go, call him up. And he goes, why? I go, give him a call. So he takes his phone out, phones him, hands me the phone. So all this is filmed. So I'm like shaking.

I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, I'm actually gonna confront my fucking high school bully after 20 years of me holding onto this for no reason. A refresher, he, okay, so he did slap me across the face and tell me to take off my Halloween mask. It was really bad. That's not just bullying.

No, no, I was- Physically assault. Yeah, he physically assaulted me. It was hell. And I will never forget it. And anyway, so I picked up the phone and I'm holding it to the mic. I go, hello.

And he goes, if this isn't, and says that guy's name, who handed me the phone. And I go, actually, no, if this isn't and says that guy's name who handed me the phone and I go actually No, it's not him. It's Steph Tola. Remember me and he goes Steph Tola I remember and I'm like, well, you know, you remember that you bullied me for so and so years and he's like no No, I go you did man and you fucking slapped me across the face. So my day of my Halloween mask That's why I've been holding onto this. And I'm like shaking and he's like, I think you owe me an apology.

And he's like, well, oh yeah, of course. I'm sorry. You could tell he was like nervous. And it's like, obviously he's gonna apologize. He's not a fucking psychopath. I'm obviously in a live show. Everyone's cheering in the background. Like you're obviously gonna apologize.

So whatever he apologizes, I go, thank you. You hear that? Whatever, hang up, hand him back his phone. I post the clip. I cut the clip, I post the clip. I've seen it. Well, you've seen an edited version. Oh. Because I posted the clip where it said,

if this is, and I kept the name of whose phone it was in it. It's called Joe. Joe. If this isn't Joe, that's that part was in there. I say the bully's full name. I post the clip, it's going more viral than any clip I've ever had in my life. By the time I opened my phone again,

I was at like 50K in like 25 minutes. And I was like, whoa, that's crazy viral. That's next level. Joe's brother slides into my DMs. Take down the clip. You name my fucking brother, take it down. I go, but your brother's not the bully. Your brother handed me the phone.

No one thinks your brother's a bully. Your brother actually wasn't a bully. Your brother helped me. He's not a bully. I said the bully's name. Did the bully say anything? Not a fucking peep. The bully has not still to this day has not said a fucking word. He was laughing bully say anything? Not a fucking peep. Not a fucking, the bully has not, still to this day,

has not said a fucking word. He was laughing about it. He was telling all his friends, they were all sharing it around saying, this is me, ha ha, no comment. The brother of Joe, Joe's fucking brother, who I'm fucking pissed off at, was like, take it down, I will get my lawyer involved.

You're saying his name. I go, I didn't even fucking say his name. The bully said his fucking name, and for the fuck did you sit in the fucking front of my show? You egg me on, you fucking came, come at me. And then I say, and then I do something, and you're like, I'm gonna get my lawyer involved. So then I had to call my fucking lawyer,

and I'm like, I'll go to court. You think I won't go to court? I've already been in the Canadian judicial system, I'll go back. I was arrested for assault, I'll go back. You think I won't? It's bullshit. Yeah, I was arrested for assault, I'll go back. I don't give a shit, it's nothing. They don't do anything. They're gonna slap me in the wrist, they're gonna go, sorry, I'm gonna leave. I'll go back. You think I won't? It's bullshit. Yeah, I'll go back.

I don't give a shit. It's nothing. They don't do anything. They're gonna slap me in the wrist. They're gonna go, sorry, I'm gonna leave. I'll go fucking back. It was so annoying. I was like so stressed out.

So I deleted the clip, reposted it, edited out the name. I guess I should have edited it out. But I was like, in my head, I was like, this, no one's coming for him. He's like, everyone already saw it. People are messaging him. About what?

He didn't do anything. He handed me the fucking phone. He's literally the hero in this situation. And I was like, I was not rude to him. Like, I shook his hand after him. I'm like, nice to see you. Like, at no point was it like at all in a way where I was like, how is this construed like this?

So all three parties involved, Joe, Bully, Joe's brother, the only person who's complained or you've heard anything from is Joe's brother. Yeah. Wow. Isn't that bizarre? That is bizarre. Especially from the two people who were directly involved. Well, here's the thing.

So there's a lot of detectives in Toronto. A lot of my high school friends don't have a lot going on. They can get on the internet. So they're thinking because that last name was said, it's not, it's Joe's brother that may have some stuff flipping around out there and doesn't want it to come back to him. So once you Google this one,

you're gonna get Joe's brother's information. And there might be something. And is there? I didn't look. Oh, the Toronto detectives? Well, they one, you're gonna get Joe's brother's information. And there might be something. And is there? I didn't look. All the Toronto detectives? Well, they may have looked. They may have found some like deep, I think he might be a police officer or something.

Oh, he might be, I see. So there was something in that realm and that's where it got fuzzy. And I was like, okay, I took it down. I re-edited it. He said, thank you. And I'm like, I blocked him. I'm like, okay, I took it down. I re-edited it. He said, thank you. And I'm like, I blocked him. I'm like, fuck you.

You're now no longer to see my shit. I don't want you coming to my shit. He's probably watching this. I don't give a shit's ass. It's so, you knew what, also nobody was in harm here. I'm not slandering your brother's name in any way, shape or form. Like if anything, if the bully.

All I did. If the bully, all I did, if the bully had come at me, I'd be like, fair. I didn't say his full name, I just said the bully's first name. But because the first and last name were said from the bully, that's made it a whole other deal. This is very confusing.

But it's, All you did was be, well, I was killed in the moment. First you got a request to engage. Yes I did. You engage. Yes I did. You bring up a story.

Mm-hmm. A very traumatic event that happened to me. You say, call him. You didn't force him. Nope. You didn't want to call him, you didn't threaten to call him. That man dialed himself. He pressed it immediately hand to me.

Hands it to you. Like immediate. All you do is respectfully ask for an apology from a man, or maybe it was a kid at the time, I don't know, from a person who slapped you across the face. And humiliated you. In front of my entire grade nine class. And then you hand the phone back.

That's exactly what I did. Done. And now I'm getting the word lawyer tossed at me, and I'm like... There's nothing there. There's nothing there. Nothing. That's what I'm saying. Let them waste all their money on that. I was like, wait, you think I won't go?

What we just did, this whole narration right here, use that in court. Literally. There's your summary right there of what happened. There's no way it happened. It wasn't baited. You were requested to come at us. We can take it.

You can take it. You want it. We can take it. We want it. It's take it. We want it. It's not even- Also, both of you, neither of them looked bad. Like that's what I'm so confused by. I was like, you guys anyway-

But you're right. There's something going on over there. There's something going on for sure. Cause I was like, whatever. I'm like, I'm done with this. And my lawyer was like, don't, she's like, yeah, you would win. But I'm gonna go to court and go, this is what happened.

I said nothing bad. I was stopped across the face. I never went over it at the end. But I was like, I'm not gonna, I don't have time. If I had time, yeah, I'll fly back up to Toronto. Take me down to fucking police plaza. Was that what they call it? No, I don't.

I think that, isn't that from like Die Hard? Take me down to police plaza, strap me in some stirrups, put the old judge wig on me. Take me to Judge Judy. Yeah, that'd be fun. That'd be fun. But I was like, what? I'm like all of that and then really stressed me out. And then I was so upset. I was like, oh, and then like, Tell them, hey, you want to take me to court? We do it. But we do it with Judge Judy.

With Judge Judy? Yeah. It ain't gonna be worth more or whatever. I think they, what is Judge Judy? $2,500? Is that what it is? Okay. I don't know. It's like, I think it's small claims, isn't it? It probably is. I'm like, why the fuck? So that whole thing happened that really stressed me out for no reason and pissed me off. And then now I'm like, now Mike has to post anything now.

I'm like, I guess there's a clip I want to post, but like, because people are also couldn't even see their faces. Black silhouettes from the back. No facial. Nothing at all. Here's the thing I'm thinking these days. Also, couldn't even see their faces. Black silhouettes from the back. No facial, nothing at all. Here's the thing I'm thinking these days. You know, when we shoot our specials, we have to put notices up that you're gonna be filmed.

There's a filming. I think these days, every club should just have it up because of the existence of cell phone cameras and everything and us wanting clips as much. I think it should be up in every club. And then, hey, you engaged, you're fully aware it's posted all over this place. You have no legal recourse.

If you're not, there's no slander, there's no any of that. There's no slander. I also, you helped me. Yeah. You literally. Thank you, I got the apology I've been waiting for for 20 fucking years. Thank you for us to hand me the phone.

You literally, I have been waiting for that for 20 fucking years. Thank you for us to hand me the phone. You literally, I have been waiting for that for 20 fucking years. Like I wanted that. I felt so good. Like it's so funny, because I remember I got off stage and my high school best friend Alexis was there and we were like,

I can't fucking believe you did that. My sister was there and we were all like hugging and I was like, I feel so fucking good. And then that feeling, I just came back to being like so pissed all over again. I'm like, what the hell is happening here? This is the one time that whole situation

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Well, what happened, you said you were never bullied really before high school. What happened? Was it a new crop of kids when you came in? Or what were the changes in your life? Like what? I became outgoing. I used to be like a quiet little tit mouse.

And then in grade eight, I really came out of my shell and I was like psycho. And why were they bullying you for that? Just because I was loud and then guys, I guess as soon as I started talking, were like, hey, your nose is big, get her. And then it was just, that's all it was. So starting with grade eight to where I am now,

I'm like, I thought it was gonna end when I was 40 years fucking old. It's never gonna end. I understand, I'm whatever. It's never gonna end. It's never gonna end. It's never gonna end. No.

And I'm like, I was so sick. So I lost, I did lose 30 pounds for my special. You look great, girl. But this is, thank you. But this is so sad, but this is why. I'm like, I didn't wanna look, and I've said this before and I'll say it again, because it's so sick

that I have to say this. I didn't want people online to call me fat, ugly, and big nose. I'm like, let's at least eliminate the fat. No, but I'm telling you, like that's how. Here's the other thing though, you could have lost 50 pounds. And they're still gonna call me fat.

Someone's still gonna call you fat. And I'm jacked, my special. I look fucking yoked. There's a shot of me from behind and I'm like, my, yeah, my biceps are like fucking popping. And I'm like, Jesus, am I looking out, Rogan? I'm fucking yoked up. It was very fucked up.

But now I'm like, I'm just, it's also hard, I'm trying to figure out a way to just, people are like, just don't read them. Ignore the comments. I'm trying to. I am trying to, but it's actually Jefferson is very funny. This is the moment I knew that I'm like, I'm marrying this man.

We were doing a meet and greet in Rochester and I was in this long line of people, whatever, and I look over and he sells my merch for me. Best, he used to work in a farmer's market growing up. This man slings my fucking merch. He is fucking throwing it off the shelf. He's like, you want it, what size you want? He's like, do them, he's doing 10 transactions at once. I'm like, this is my fucking merch. He's fucking throwing it off the shelf. He's like, you want it, what size you want? He's like, do them, he's doing 10 transactions at once.

I'm like, this is the fucking best. So I look over and I see him talking to this guy and I'm like, what's going on? Big conversation, I just see him like, I can kind of see his shoulders kind of going up. I'm like, what the hell is happening over there? So after the show, I'm like, what the fuck was that all about?

He's like, nothing. Like, what was that all about? He's like, you don't want to know, it doesn't matter. Three days, he's not telling me. I'm like, I'm not going to drop it. What the fuck was that? He's like, he was Like, what was that all about? He's like, you don't want to know, it doesn't matter. Three days, he's not telling me. I'm like, I'm not gonna drop it. What the fuck was that? He's like, he was saying some rude things about you. I'm like, what'd he say?

And he's like, try not to tell me. I'm like, Jefferson, just fucking tell me. Like, you didn't say it, tell me. He's like, why the fuck is everybody lining up to see that beak? And I went, okay, actually probably wish he didn't tell me. I actually wish that one was kept inside. You know what, don't let me press you anymore.

But he, so rude, so rude. But then he goes, it's so psychotic. Wow, the beak really got you. And then he goes, he whispered. You fucking were like, I didn't need to know that. I did not need to know that. You were like, oh my bad. Fuck. that. That's what I'll ask. I did not need to know that. You're like, oh, my bad.

But then he goes, I should've listened. This is the one time I'm like, you know what? Maybe I'm not always right. Maybe you are right more than I am. But he said, I'm like, what did you do? He's like, well, I told him he has five seconds to get out of my face or his family's gonna find him in a ditch.

Beat into a pulp. Over there slinging merch. And then he immediately, the guy ran out. And I was like, well, this is why I love you, because you would kill somebody for me. I was like, this is why. My sweet precious angel, yeah. But I was like, I need to, yeah, I need to not,

I try to like, yeah, I try to like, you know, get off it, but it's not, it's never like, yeah, I try to like, you know, get off it, but it's not, it's never gonna go away. I just have to accept it. I mean, I know, like, because I see, like, people comment like Sarah Silverman, and I think she's so pretty, and I'm like, she is ugly fat.

I'm like, okay, well, this is bizarre. Yeah, she's gorgeous, and it doesn't matter. All you ladies, Nikki, Whitney, I mean, I'm sure nonstop they're getting how ugly they are. Yeah, and which is, buddy, we're putting in the work here. Yeah, and then you look at the thumbnail of that fucking guy or whatever, and you're like, you're 600 fucking pounds.

You know, this is their life though. It's never, I've been trolled definitely by good looking guys, but it's never. Like the majority, I'd say 90% of the men that troll me are like obese and clearly alone. Or like the ones that are the majority, I'd say 90% of the men that troll me are like obese and clearly alone. Or like the ones that are the worst, when dads troll me and their photos of them with two girls. And I'm like, are you? You get that.

Oh, the other day, I literally just screenshot this guy. Maybe we still have it. I literally, I gotta stop doing this thing. I gotta stop doing it. Are you putting them on blast? I go this you and I zoom in on this guy. This guy comments, wow, look at that fucking nose. How could you look at anything else?

And then I clicked on it and I went to his profile and it's him and his profile is him with two little girls. And I wanted to personally mess with him and be like, hey man, this is so poor judgment. Like, you look stupid. Please don't teach your children to be like this. Please God don't.

Like go, also whenever I see like a husband or like a father, I'm like this time you're spending trolling me, I'm gonna be with your children. That's right. Well, the worst one I ever had, and I said it on something before, but it was Christmas morning. I'll never forget this.

This man, Christmas morning, 9 a.m., I got on my Facebook, this ugly bitch, this ugly trans bitch or something, and I clicked on this thing, and all his photos of his wife and him with the kids, I'm like, you're telling me your kids are opening presents Christmas morning, and he go, what's that, sweetie?

Hold on a second, just one second. You ugly fucking trans bitch. Oh yeah, Santa brought that one. Isn't that cute? Yeah, he ate the cookies. You fucking dumb wh bitch. Oh yeah, Santa brought that one. Isn't that cute? Yeah, he ate the cookies. You fucking dumb whore. Like how crazy is that?

That was from your grandma. Yeah, that's from me ma. Write her a letter. Tell her you said thank you. We love her, we'll see you later tonight. You fat slut. Like it's so crazy. Whenever they have kids,

I get the ones that are alone and like, you know, just sad and maybe want to do comedy, whatever the fuck they want to do with those ones. I'm like, whatever. The second there's children involved, especially little girls, I'm like, please stop. Please, because you're gonna act like this and call, and then if you're doing this,

how are you talking to your wife? How in front of your kids? That's exactly right. And not only that, if someone did that to your daughter, are you gonna be the type of father that defends her or are you the one that's just like, that's the way it is? Yeah, she's a fat just like yeah lol she's a fat whore told the bull Doritos that what are you talking about yeah like that's why like luckily my dad was like

crazy angry and angry as hell growing up I was always yelling and screaming psychopath he's got an anger problem but never was like your mom's a bitch like it was never that he never like talked down to my mom together or they were they were there still they still are okay are, they still are. Oh they still are, okay. Shouldn't be, still are. But he never like did that. I was around yelling all the time and him getting mad for no reason, but it was never like directed at like my mom

being a dumb bitch or like stupid or like ugly, like nothing like that. So I'm like, thank God. I mean, thank God the yelling was one thing, but that would have been hell if it was that on top of it. So that's, it's just, if you're listening, just find a better hobby. It's become a hobby for these people.

And I was scared to go on Reddit because I was like, I post clips and then I like write some comments on Reddit and they're so nice. I was like, oh, because the problem is then it takes away from all these nice comments I get. It takes away from all this nice fucking like really sweet people who are relating to my comedy

and thanking me for what I do. And then I'm like, I want to, those are the ones I want to sit in my head. That's the thing. It's human nature to get 10,000, we love you, Steph. You're so funny, Steph. You're beautiful, Steph. You're beautiful, Steph.

One 350 pound fucking pool guy with nine followers is like fucking nose sucks. And you're like, you're this motherfucker. That's what lives in there. And especially on like Jordan's podcast, I was so vulnerable, telling these horrible stories. And I was like, come on. Yeah, the internet's a dick.

I always say the internet's a dick and it's unforgiving. So for anyone like ourselves to come bear our souls, we're not just, we're not putting our, we're exposing ourselves physically while we bear ourselves just for people just to be like, you guys fucking suck. I hate your laugh. I fucking hate your face.

Yeah. It's like psycho. Oh God. Well, I don't, I also don't want to think about it. I always feel like all I do is talk about it, but I'm like, it's just so, it's just in my face all the time. Can we shift gears? They're going to make fun of that joke right there

in your face all the time. Just say your nose. Can we shift gears? They're gonna make fun of that joke right there in your face all the time, just say your nose. Can we shift gears back to the dating stuff without getting into what you can't get into? But talk to me about that. Let's educate people on this online dating stuff. So prior to this, you had never Googled someone before going on a date with them?

No, and the problem was this one also was in person. This wasn't on the mind. I only say that because one time, this is man, this is years ago. I don't even know if my daughter was born yet, but my buddy was on a site called Plenty of Fish and he lives in Temecula and his daughter was at her mom's, they're divorced and he's putting this,

her Christmas gift together. It's just fucking Disney Princess Castle. It's like the size of this room. It's massive. And it's going in his house. He's like, will you come down? He's like newly divorced. I'm like, yeah, so I go down. And we're putting this thing together. And I just his laptops on like the kitchen island. And I just keep hearing this thing. Yeah, what is that? And he's like, Oh, that's a request.

I'm like, oh, wait, somebody's fishing over there right now. He's like, yeah, I go, how does this work? Because, well, somebody just requested me. I go, well, go now, PS, it is pouring rain outside. I mean, pouring rain outside. It's like Friday night, 10 o'clock. We're drinking and smoking, putting this fucking castle together. I go, go look.

And he goes over and it's this lady. And he tells her, this is who I am right now. There are two men in the house. He's being upfront. Like, it's my friend from childhood. This is who we are, whatever. So she disappears for a little bit. Then she's like, what if I grabbed a bottle of wine

and came over and helped you guys put the castle together? And I'm like, this fucking bitch is crazy. Like I would tell my daughter, don't you fucking dare go to a house where you're outnumbered. No, outnumbered is crazy. Outnumbered is crazy, right? So she, and it's also pouring down rain. I mean,

you should not be driving type rain. Never met him in person for we, we were putting the castle getting hurt a ding on the fucking computer. The one day they've been talking is never that ding is about to turn into a real person at the door. And I can't I can't get over it. I don't online date. I've never even been on one. So you'll never see my name on any of these things. My daughter's mom checked me on,

what was that big one, Ashley Madison? Oh yeah. And it ended up actually being like dudes, catfishing dudes the whole time anyway. Not afraid, you know what I mean? But she went and looked, I go, why are you looking for my name on there? She's like, well, my friend looked for her husband

and he was on there. I said, oh, shit. I saw him at the birthday party, I was like, you want to ask your man? No, you got a cop. You got a cop, bad. That was a bad one, yeah, fuck. So I can't get, and I'm telling him like,

okay, also, like, first of all, this lady's safe. She doesn't know it, but she's safe coming here. We're the nicest people, we're not gonna hurt you. If anything happens, we'll protect you. But she doesn't fucking know that. She doesn't know that at all. So, I can't. I'm like, you gotta be kidding me.

She's here. 30 minutes. She was ready to go. She was just on there waiting to be invited somewhere. And I guess, I don't know about all of them, but I guess you can do, you know, in your area, certain amount of radius or whatever. So knocks on the door and we're both looking at each other.

I'm like, there's no way. This lady comes over and you know. Looks like your photos? She looks just like her photos, nice as can be, pops a bottle of wine. I go, I gotta ask you, like, you know this is psychotic, right? She's like, well, yes, but I have a friend who's a teacher and I guess they have some kind of-

Teacher database. A database they're allowed to look through for predators and all that shit. So she had him run my name and his name. She goes, you came up a lot on the internet. I started to laugh, I'm like, yeah. She's like, so you're popular enough that I figured if anything went down, we got you.

And he's clear as a bell. And I go, yeah, you're safe here, but I just think you're, I just want you to know. We think you're fine. We think you're fucking insane to come over. And then that lady sat there, helped us build the castle. They went out a few times and nothing really clicked. Okay.

But it was nice parting. Yeah. But I couldn't get over that. See that, okay. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. But okay, the fact that she did, but you guys do the thing,

the amount of times I've gotten over to people's houses. That's what I was saying. She did scream before she came and she had more than Google. Yes. You're not going to find him on Google. You'll find me on Google. But you're not going to find him. No. You know what I mean? He could be lying that I'm there. You're not gonna find him on Google. You'll find me on Google, but you're not gonna find him. You know what I mean?

He could be lying that I'm there. You get over there, where's your friend? Oh, he's upstairs or he ran to the store and got something real quick and I'm never there. You don't know anything. There could have been 10 guys there in that house ready to kill you. You don't, at night going alone, like I will say.

In the rain, you ain't getting out of the car. Ladies, ladies, you need to fucking meet somebody in person in a very public area. Amen. Like it's, and I, look, I've done it before. I've, I've, I've gone over to someone's house before like that. You have. I have.

I did. I remember one time in St. John Newfoundland. I remember I met this, we were just, I was chatting. I remember, and I remember when I was doing a festival out there, I was just doing a club out there, and I remember the booker, we were all at dinner, I'm like, I gotta go, I'm gonna go take a cab out to meet this guy. And they were like, what?

And then I'm like, what are you talking about, Steph? That's like an hour away. I'm like, oh, he's good looking. I got in this fucking car, this is the worst part. I get in this cab, this female's driving me. She was- Never met this guy. Never met this guy.

I'm in the car. How long you been talking to him? That day. That day. Mm-hmm. I get in the car, cab, this is cab. This is like nine hours out there. Yeah, back then. Back then.

And I remember on the way there, this woman goes, I know this area. I know this house. You're not getting out. I'm not letting you out. No. She's like, I'm not, I know this, one of his brothers, someone did something bad.

I'm not letting you out. After an hour drive. We get there, she's like, I'm not letting you out of the car. And I'm like, I'm getting out of the car. So I'm texting him. This lady knows the neighborhood from an hour away, Steph. And I go, she's like, I'm not letting her out of the car. And I'm like, I'm getting out of the car. So I'm texting him. I go- This lady knows the neighborhood from an hour away, Steph. And I go, she's not letting me out.

So he comes out and then she's like, okay, it's not him. I think it's his brother. She goes, I'm gonna wait here. She's gonna give you my phone number. If you need anything, I'll come back and pick you up. And I was like, okay. So I gave her my car. I gave her her car and I was like, the fuck?

And she's like, she's like, and then he was like, that lady's crazy. And I'm like, of course not. I'm like- Why do you know that lady? Yeah, why do you know that lady? A she's like, and then he was like, that lady's crazy. And I'm like, of course not. I'm like, Why do you know that lady? Yeah, why you know that lady? A cab from an hour away? Why do you know that lady?

I don't know. And then we definitely hooked up. Pretty good, I don't know why, dude. But then the next morning, he's like, I'll drive you back into the city. And we go outside and he's like, oh, watch your head, there's blood. And I'm like, what?

And I opened the door and he's got all these dead deer hanging. No, dripping and shit. All all these dead deer hanging all over. Dripping and shit. Dripping. It looked like a fucking horror house. I was like, I look up, there's just eyes, like open tongues.

I was like, oh my God. We get in the car, the whole back, he's like, you okay? I'm like, I'm good, yeah. And he's like, maybe we should hang out tonight too. I'm like, ah, I think I'll be okay after that. It was so scary. It was the house of horrors. And I was like, it was also the house of horrors inside.

And I, um, You just made me think of a story. I'll tell you what about a deer involved too. So a friend of mine back home, she calls me, this is again, years ago, we're probably in college. She's like, Oh my God, Ryan, I went out on a date last night with this guy. And this is the nineties. There's no fucking real date.

It's like the internet's not even a thing yet. I go, what happened? She goes, went over to his house and Friday night. And he's like, what do you want to do? And I was like, I don't know, we can just go to Blockbuster and get a movie. Remember? So they're out in the county and he's in a pickup truck. And he's got his rifle back, you know, in the truck on the window. Like back in the day, a lot of people did. You could drive to Like back in the day, a lot of people did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could drive to school back in the day, our school with your shotgun in there if you had permits and all, it wasn't a big deal then. So it's night and they're driving out of his like driveway and there's fields as they're going. And all of a sudden she said, he slams on his fucking brakes.

He grabs the rifle. He puts it across her out her window fucking kills the deer. Okay, listen, blockbusters. Blockbusters over now. He goes and gets the deer he drags the bloody deer up on the hood. He turns right takes it back up to the house and now he's gonna gut it and everything. She's like, I think I'm gonna go home. I You know what, I'm gonna go home. This guy would rather kill a deer and got it than get some pussy. Jesus Christ. Shut the hell out of here.

Put her out her window of fire. I would have, that's fucked up. I would have freaked the fuck out. She's like, there's like gunshot residue on her. Just seeing this man, just like. Casually, she's like, what the fuck are you doing? Was it like your first date? Yeah, this was their first date.

They were just gonna go chill at Blockbuster because his family was home and she felt safe going back to the house. It's not what he did. Jesus. He's like, I think I'm just gonna get out of here. No one can be trusted. You simply, if you can,

I know there's a thing where you can put someone's cell phone number in. There's an app, I wish I knew what it was, but you can, I know there's a thing where you can put someone's cell phone number in. There's an app, I wish I knew what it was, but you can put it on the internet. You can put your number in and like a bunch of stuff will come out about them. Yeah, my, so my friend, the same guy who got divorced and was, we were putting the castle together. His wife was cheating on him and he knew it, but he couldn't get proof. So we got the proof we needed. I can tell you about that later,

but we got the proof we needed, legally. We got the proof we needed. And then he came to my place, and this is at the time I'm with my daughter's mom. This is probably 10 years ago. And he comes to stay with us for a couple nights just to get away from the madness. And he's like, I just wish I knew,

like I know his name, but who is he and blah, blah, blah. And my ex goes, give me your credit card, Steph Tollev in five minutes. She had this dude's name, work address, home address, work number, home number, cell number, his wife's name, number, address for $25. And I was like, you just got all that? And she's like, yep, here's where his wife lives.

Here's where his wife works. Here's where he lives. Here's where he works. Well, he contacted his wife and she thanked them. They still keep in touch every now and then because these two married each other and went on and left. she left her family, he left his. They did, they married each other. They cheated and married. And they met through a video game, an online video game.

They cheated, they married, and I looked at my daughter's mother and I was like, I'm never cheating on you. You just found all that out in five minutes. She's like, yeah, for $25. But that's the thing, that shit for a fee is out there for all of us. All of us.

It's so much shit out there. Some of it is also not a fee. It's called Google and you can fucking find shit. Yeah, so that's the other thing. If it's public, you can find it. But if it's not, if they're a super creep, you gotta be careful. But that's a really good idea

is screening them before you go. Screening before you go anywhere. And I always FaceTime. I always make sure I FaceTime them before I met out. Meet up like a day before or a day off so you know what they look like. I immediately get their phone number and I'm like, you know, it's good to have the number

because otherwise they can like ghost you whatever on the apps. I remember one time, I remember it was so fucked up. And I think I'm right. I think I'm, I think I have a pretty good whatever on the apps. I remember one time, I remember it was so fucked up. And I think I'm right. I think I'm, I think I have a pretty good head on my shoulders. I always take in my environment. I can see everything.

Like if there's ever like a robbery, I'll be like, the guy had a fucking switchy eye and a mustache and three earrings. I know everything. So I was stood up this one night and I think the guy was there. And I think he was getting off on watching women come and not, I think his thing was he would invite a woman

somewhere and then show like, and then watch it from across the street or something. Or watch it from like in, or like he wasn't him. The photos wasn't him. So I matched this guy. I remember he was like playing baseball in all his photos. Looked good looking, like he was like a Mexican looking guy. Very cute, younger, nice skin. I remember I was like like he was like a Mexican looking guy, very cute, younger, nice skin.

I remember I was like, he said, okay, when we're here, I'm just gonna go to my house. I met at, what's that bar? Jay's Bar in Suffolk. Close to my house, I'm like, let's go somewhere convenient. Had a couple of drinks. Before I got there, I like to be a little loose. And I remember I went up to the bar and I sat down

and on the way there in Uber, he unmatched me. And I went, okay, okay, calm down. So I walked in the bar and I sat down. Like right when I got out of the Uber, I'm like, oh, what is he, I'm like, what is this time is he gonna be here? I was like, oh, I'm here. And I was like, I'm here.

I'm like, the message is gone. And I'm like, okay. And we'd been talking for like five days, but making plans, like checking into me, like a lot of messaging through the app. So I sit down and this guy looks at me at the end of the bar, big guy, fat, ugly, like just like gross man. I just see him looking at me at the end of the bar and I was like, and the way he looked at me was like, he knows me. And I'm like, okay. So I ordered a drink and I'm like, I, my eyeballs

are, I'm on the verge of sobbing. Like this thing is like the third time I've been stood up, but this, this felt like even more specific. And I was like, stand there, I ordered a glass of wine. The owner was like, are you okay? And I go, yeah, I'm good. And he's like, are you okay? Are you sure? And I'm like, mm-hmm.

And I remember, cause I've been at that bar a lot, so I think he recognized me. He's like, you let me know if anything. I'm like, no, I'm good. Drank wine, I like brought my notebook out. I pretended I was like journaling. I was like, in my head I'm like crying. I'm like, I'm gonna cut myself.

So I was like so upset. I clocked this guy and I like, I paid for my bill and I like sat there and I was like, in my head I'm like crying, I'm like, I'm gonna cut myself. So I was like so upset. I clocked this guy and I like, I paid for my bill and I like sat there and I enjoyed my wine and then I like, went on my phone for a second and I like, I walked out, I called an Uber. And I'm like, I know that the way that guy looked at me, it was him.

He had a fake fucking account and he just wanted to fucking get off and just watching women come and be a piece of shit. And then I got, I remember the Uber ride home was the best because I get in the car and the second the door closed, I start bawling. Just like, I'm so upset and it was the best because I get in the car and the second the door closed, I start bawling. Just like, I'm so upset. And it's just like, I don't even know what the accent was.

He sounded like the Swedish chef. He's like, oh my God, no, what's the problem? And I was like, kind of laughing. I'm like, I just got so nervous. Why would anyone do anything to you? You're a beautiful woman. And I'm like, this guy is a fucking muppet. This is crazy.

I'm like, you need to stop right now, please. He's actually very sweet. He's very nice. We're driver. But I was like, it was so fucked up. It was OK. I have a nice night. I'm like, you got to leave.

But I'm like, that's the first time I ever felt like they were there. So I've been stood up bunches like, you know, like those are the words when you go there. I'm like, who is the time to plan all this and sit there and sit there? I really put the time and no effort, but the time. Oh yeah, so much time. Isn't that weird? Weird. All time, no effort.

All time, no effort. I know what that's like. Sorry. A lot of time. You put a lot of effort in. But now I'm happy and I never, I want to marry Jefferson so badly. You do.

Oh yeah. We talk about all all the time. He's not my size. How long have you been together now? Year and a half. What's the longest relationship for you? Seven years. Seven years, that's a long time.

But I was young, 19 to 24. Very young, we were in college. But this is the first time I've ever felt, I've never felt this in love with anyone before. Like the way I look at him, the way I think about him all the time, like I never, anyone I dated, I never felt like this. This is like beyond, I'm like, was I ever in love before?

I felt like it was like, young love I think is one thing, but like when you get to this age, there's like, I'm like infatuated with him in a way that's like, I'm so, I've also never dated somebody that I've been so impressed with his talent. Like it's such a fucking turn on. I'm like, God, he plays the piano.

I'm like, Jesus Christ. I'm like soaked. I'm like, God, he plays the piano. I'm like, Jesus Christ. I'm like, soaked. I'm like, this is insane watching you. He's so funny too. I've never dated someone to where everyone is like, God, he's funny. He's like, not even, it is comedy kind of, but he didn't start as a comedian,

but he's funnier than half the comics. I know, he's funny as hell. I'm lucky. I'm lucky. I'm happy for you, Steftolla. Thank you for coming and doing this. Thank you for having me. Please watch my special on Netflix,

on Netflix called Filth Queen, produced by All Things Comedy. If you don't like me, at least just keep it on. Just keep it on. Here's the thing too, my opening, the opening alone is gonna hook you in. My cold open is chef's kiss. Better believe Bill's in there. Better believe old Billy Burr is in there.

I love him. Good for you, Stef Tolev. Thank you for having me. Social media, where'd he find you? Just follow me on Instagram. I'm a shadow band and everything else. At Stef Tolev. Do not follow me on TikTok.

I can't post anything. Because a bully, a guy was making fun of me saying I was ugly, so I screensh a bully. A guy was making fun of me saying I was ugly. So I screenshotted his comments and I was reading his comments and I got dinged for harassment and bullying. No. Uh huh. So I'm done. I'm done. So Instagram at Steph Tola, watch my special.

Listen to my podcast, Steph Infection. Ryan's been on it. You were great. You're coming back. I'd love to. Thank you, Steph. Thank you. Thank you guys as well. Ryan Sickler is always on your social media. We'll love to. Yeah, you have to. Thank you, Steph. Thank you. Thank you guys as well. Ryan Sickler is always on your social media. We'll talk to y'all next week. you