The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - 341: Ari Matti and the Estonian Experience

Episode Date: July 7, 2025

SPONSOR: Quince -Stick to the staples that last—with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to https://www.Quince.com/HONEYDEW My HoneyDew this week is comedian Ari Matti! Ari joins me to Highlight the Lowlights of growing up in Estonia after its newly gained independence in 1991. We dive into his unconventional upbringing with a stepfather who had three other families. Ari opens up about losing both of his parents at a young age and shares a surprising revelation about his biological father that came to light in the midst of it all. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON - The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! Get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! AND we just added a second tier. For a total of $8/month, you get everything from the first tier, PLUS The Wayback a day early, ad-free AND censor free AND extra bonus content you won't see anywhere else! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] Get Your HoneyDew Gear Today! https://shop.ryansickler.com/ Ringtones Are Available Now! https://www.apple.com/itunes/ http://ryansickler.com/ https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the honeydew y'all. We're over here doing it in the night pan studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, Ryan Sickler on all your social media, ryan sickler.com. And I'm going to start them like I start them all by saying thank you thank you for supporting this show if you're already this far and you haven't subscribed yet hit subscribe subscribe to the YouTube channel and thank you guys for your support listen I'm gonna get right into this very excited to have this guest here you guys

know we do here we highlight the lowlights and I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers I'm very excited to have this guest here. You guys know what we do here. We highlight the low lights and I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest on. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome first time on the Honeydew, Ari Matty. Welcome to the Honeydew, Ari Matty. Stop yourself in. That's very, yes. Positive start. Very footballer of you right there. Positive start. I love it. Before we get into your story, please, right there, that's you, that's us. Promote whatever you can do it there if you want. Promote everything you'd like, dude. Ari Mati comedy, a-r-i-m-a-t-t-i comedy on Instagram. The website, listen, this is, it's nine years old. The link is on LinkedIn. It's not working. So don't worry about it.

Is it? Yeah. Like Ari Schiffer made a whole compilation where he like for 12 minutes roasted my website because every link didn't work and every information was wrong. But you still pay to keep it up? Go daddy's good. I bet I do. Yeah. Yeah. And there's an email that I forgot the password. I mean, it's impossible to even connect. So where do they find your road dates then? Just to follow on your socials?

Instagram and Facebook, yeah. Automatic comedy on both. And on Twitter too, yeah. I post all the time there, yeah. I should get that sorted out probably, but. Well, it's great to have you here. Great to see you, Ryan. I got to work with you in Austin.

Yeah, I opened for you. That was an awesome show. I never met you before. It was a fun show. God. It was a good show. Good energy. Yeah, it was like the Vulcan is one of those rooms when it's packed. It's like the fucking Coliseum. Yeah. Yeah, it was awesome. So I want to know because when you told me where you're from, where are you from? Estonia. Yeah, I was I didn't even know where it was.

Let's talk about it. I remember I said Estonia, you said, what the fuck? Yeah. I'm not that cultured. Then again, I'll throw some shit out where you're like, how do you know? Also, don't worry about it. Americans get a bad rap that Americans will always say that, like, I'm sorry, I don't know. But I'm like, I don't know about who's a senator in Michigan either. Like, neither do I, bro. What I'm trying to say is also, I don't know. I don't know. I think about this all the time, especially with people who come here from another country, like Chinese or someone who really doesn't speak the language or understand the language. Then don't come.

And then they own a business. And then they own a business. And then I think about me and I'm like, could I go do that in China? Fuck no. No. I couldn't. What makes them be like, I'm coming here. For sure. And then, and not me can be like, oh, please couldn't. Yeah. You know, what makes them be like, I'm coming here for sure.

And then, and not me can be like, Oh, please accept me. Like they're in there fucking like, no, it's my shit right here. It's my shit right here. I could never go do that. It's my shit right here. Right. I, I, what I love about Chinese people is they set up their own spot and then they don't want your shit.

They're not interested in, they don't fuck all of that. Lady Gaga, Joker 2, a musical. Fuck you. We got our menus have forest forest, way fire, no English. Yeah. And we got those little picture of a duck. You could buy those off the menu. The best thing is the picture of the duck. Yeah. It was for a cute duck and then they write, we'll kill this motherfucker. You know how Chinese menus always translate? I love how they go chicken knee soup. Like no, no finesse. finesse. No like oh, it's a little pepper No, they're like, this is the neck of the fucking pig So tell me about Estonia. Tell me about being born in Estonia and growing up. Yeah

It's I mean, it's a former Soviet country. I was born in 92 91. We got liberated, you know And then when the Soviet Union collapsed, so it's like a fresh fucking country. So it's like is that right? Well, yeah, 91 where and where what part of Russia or Soviet Union collapsed. So it's like a fresh fucking country. So it's like- Is that right? Well, yeah, 91. Where in, what part of Russia or Soviet Union? What do you mean? Like where on the northwest or- You know where Finland is? I mean, I feel like that's northwest.

So let's go Finland, Sweden, right? Yeah, I know where that is. We're right below Finland. Okay, all right. Like let's say if you're like- And that's a Soviet, that's Soviet property. Used to be, yeah. Used to be. And we were also free from the,

Estonia is gonna be so angry, I don't know numbers. Yeah, yeah. Something in the 30s, 40s, 50s, we were free for a second too. Like for, we had like a six- Don't watch this for a history lesson, that's not what this is. We had like a five-year stretch maybe.

But our language has still been unique, still unique culture and all that culture. They still super different from Russia. So as you're born, so is Estonia you're saying. Basically, yeah. Wow, okay. Currency, fucking taxation. Oh wow, everything.

We didn't even have time on the anthem. We just took Finland one. Now we have the same, we were like, we don't even. Come on, man. No one's paying taxes. I'm all in Finland, they said we have the same. We were like, we don't. Come on, man. No one's paying taxes. I'm all in Finland, they said we could have it. Just take it, man. Take it, hurry up.

By the way, and we didn't ask. I think it's like a notorious thing. We didn't. We just liked it. We were like, this tune's fire. Dude, on the flag. Dude, on the flag, we spent no time. The flag is like three colors. Three colors. The flag is like three colors the flag is wait it's blue white and black you know what that is yeah the black is the

ground blue oh no so blue is the sky the baby blue sky the white is the forest that, no, don't, okay. Cloud? Wait. No, sky. Cinibus falga. So it's, sorry, I fucked this up. Blue? Black and white. So blue the sky, black the forest, and then white is the snowy ground. I see.

So that's how little time, they looked out the window, they're like. And what's yours, do you have a little square or a circle logo in it? Nothing, no time. Oh wait, it's just one of those things. It's just stripes. Finnish. Man, y'all did it backwards. It was supposed to be...

Finland has the same colors. We just fucked it up a little. We just fucked it up a little. It's like Ireland and Mexico doing that same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just fucked it up a little. And Italy and all. Ireland are good, man. I think they're orange versus red and Mexico is red, white and green. Italy is red, white and green green. Italy's red, right? Okay.

So you're brand new country. You're a brand new person in this country. Yeah. And are your parents married? Are they together? Who are you born to? And so when Estonia was, you know, uh, became Estonia, of course, all these businessmen, you know, that's the, that's the move.

If you're like a cold blooded business guy, you know, Gaza Strip right now, there's some deals happening. Oh, they're over there doing their shit, huh? Every time, and imagine a Soviet Union collapsing and fucking all of a sudden, 18 or 20 countries have become sovereign. That's to democracy is a huge transition. There's no public property, and now there's only public property and now deals. When you're a business guy, Sweden, Finland, they were never occupied. So they were super advanced. They had taxation, all the system. The country was running and men were making money. And then like two hours on a ferry from you, this huge opportunity opens up. So all finished business guys would come to Estonia, fuck

our women and make business. And one of those women was a waitress. Vera, my mom. Hello, who are? Who was that? The finished businessman? Vera, my mom. Hello, how are you? Who was that? The Finnish businessman? It's so funny that like, some of my mom's dead now, but at my mom's funeral, you know, her friends would tell me such funny stories about her. And they're like, you know, they're all in their 50s. There's chicks, you know, they're all married, you know, kids, all that shit. But then they used to work as waitresses, you know, that was the big money. All these Finnish business guys would come over. And then one of her best friends goes, yeah, me and your mom, she goes, you know, we like, when the business guys would come over and they would just open up a, just open up the wallet, you know, there would be like a back room where we would like

sit on their lap. It's such a funny way to say, like right now they'll be like, yeah, we suck these guys off. Lap dance. But it's so classy. She's like, sit on these gentlemen's laps. Which doesn't mean they will fuck them. I guess meet them, hook them up, kiss them. I mean, these are rich guys.

And yeah, one of them was my dad, which like I knew, cause I grew up without a dad. So I knew I had a stepdad later. So I knew that there's no dad, but I didn't really, you know. Was it a fling or did they have a relationship? I have one memory and one toy. I have one memory where I'm in the back of a car. Do you have like, do you have memories like that as a kid

where you literally, if you look down, I'm in the fucking baby chair. It's like a weird fragment. And I know it's not a dream because I have the item. It's called core memory. Yeah, it's weird. I have two memory, one with my same dad, feeling him pushing on me when you're swinging.

Oh yeah. I just feel it's not a dream. I remember exactly. I remember these tiny, my feet, this long. It's just like a microcosm for life. He's like, I'm here. Yeah. I'm not.

Oh, wait. Yeah, exactly. And then the other one's me in the back of a car and I'm in the baby chair, you know? And it's just weird. I look up and then he gives me a little train and I still have that train. You do?

Yeah. That's my only memory of the guy. Then. Was he, did he go, was he from Finland? Did he go back there? So they have like their, they, they do their thing and then he goes back or do they continue sort of a relationship? So this, I think they did because I have these memories. I mean that he must have come back.

At least he came around for a minute. So, and you know, Estonian families are like, I guess Americans are like, if you don't know who your dad exactly is, you'll storm in your mom's room like, mom, we need to talk. Like Estonians, we don't really, we were close with my mom,

but there was never like a conversation. And who's we? How many kids does your mom have? Me, my sister and my mom. Are they, are, are you, is your sister from the same dad? See, this is where it gets. See, this is where it gets. Let's see.

Okay. And well, you're her and you're you the oldest. No, she's six years older. So she knows something. There's memoir, you know, there's, she has something. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But also Estonian family again, I wouldn't really. Also she goes back to old Russia.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, for like four years. Exactly, yeah. You got it so easy. Yeah, her core memory, you know, I got ice cream as soon as I'm born. Right, right away. I got Coca-Cola as soon as I'm born. Right away. I got Coca-Cola as soon as I'm born.

My mom got Coca-Cola when she was like 27. Yeah, yeah. So. So six years older. She's got a little bit of memory of some things. And we are different. Like, there's a feeling that you get when you have a sibling, you know.

That's like, she's still my sister because we grew up together and we're super close, all that. But there's a feeling like, like she was always a proper person, job, good at school. She would just get it, you know, I'm a fucking absolute lunatic. I mean, later, of course, you find out that there's creative endeavors that you can get into where maybe my fucking manic style actually pays off a little bit. But as a kid, you just, people look at you

like a fucking loser. Yeah. I was similar to my mom. My mom's also a bit of a psycho. So we had that thing going on, you know? So I still felt like in the family and all that. But there was some couple of weird moments I remember. Like I remember there was a moment where we were watching

like CSI with me, my sister and my mom, you know? And they talk about how, just like an investigation where they met the parents of the supposed murderer and the parents had same color eyes but the kid didn't. And then David Caruso's character does like a side note. You know, like if both parents have brown eyes,

it's 99% that the, but the kid has blue eyes. And my eyes are a bit different too. And there was this, I remember being a kid and there was this weird moment, like an energy in there. You felt it, huh? Yeah, it's kind of weird. It's just a little. Like where your mom was even being like,? Yeah, it's kind of weird. It's just a little...

Like where your mom was even being like, oh shit, I hope he's not... Yeah, something, just something, you know? But it was never really discussed. We were not... Estonian families are a bit more, we're like... But in your mind, do you remember thinking just or assuming that your sister's dad is your dad? I thought that 100%. Right. Yeah, that's what I thought is your dad. Hmm. I thought that 100%.

Right. That's what I thought, that our dad left. And he wasn't around either. No. Yeah. So you're both your dad's the same guy. But my sister had to know. Right.

Because of the age thing. And also that, you know, she had to know, right? Then maybe I'm like 16, 17, you know, you start, yeah, more, more character developments. I started having like, it's just like, hmm, something going on, you know, but dude, I went backpacking. I went fucking, I did my own life. I didn't really give a fuck. And also my mom is my mom, you know, and she would tell me that she would tell me if it's

something that I would want to know. know I'm saying she looked out for me she's like my mom so I think there's a reason a hundred percent and I didn't want to bring that up and just we moved on with our life you know and also my stepdad had died my stepdad was in our family for a bit he died my mom went through that heart attack on a motorcycle. Oh, Jesus. I got that motorcycle and we renovated it. Put a sticker on it, said the Widowmaker. Dude, I wrote that shit around. No helmet. High as fuck.

Did you really? Yeah, I love that. I'm going to tell this. I'm going to butcher it. And if we do, we'll cut it out. But it's an Anthony Jesselnyk joke, one of the fucking most savage joke writers ever. And he said, it goes something like this. And again, if I butcher it, we'll chop it up. But he said, I told my mom that I wanted to, oh God, I'm going to fuck it up here.

I think when I was 16, I told my mom I wanted a motorcycle and she said, absolutely not. That when my uncle was 16, he died of a horrific motorcycle accident and I could just have his. I know I didn't nail it, but I got pretty goddamn close. That's what you just made me think of. You took that god. You really did take it. Well, yeah, cause it's- But also, wait, can we talk about it?

What a way to go, did he, he had a heart attack and like crashed off the bike and stuff? Well, he like hit a tree and snapped his neck or something with the heart attack, like a whole thing. Oh, fuck. Because when he died, he did have the heart attack, but you never know with the heart attack, because of the accident or not, so you don't know that.

Right, right, right. But apparently all his friends that he was riding motocross with told like that he would never do that mistake he would never go just straight into a tree you know but you know he also struggled with alcohol and super violent childhood different families around Finland Lithuania and Estonia that he's been a part of and left he left four families. What do you mean? We were the last one. Yeah, yeah, we were the last one.

Mom running after the car like I think out of the four times. You could not run that hard attack. But it's so funny to imagine a guy who's like 0 for 4. On families, not just marriages. He used the same priest on all families. No. He was a priest?

No, he used the same priest on all of the weddings. So imagine when you're giving the vow. I mean, even by the fourth time, when we were at the wedding, me and my sister were like, even the priest was riffing, like, yeah, yeah, till death do us apart. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'd be like, are you yeah, till death do us apart. Yeah. Yeah. I mean like, are you sure you want to do this?

Yeah. So he was like, you know. Four. He must have, he must have had some. Lots of trauma, lots of, he was like a delinquent alcoholic, you know. One of those that in the morning, you know, when they gag for 45 minutes just to get the system going.

Cause I mean, it's, it's just hell every day. But then he did get sober towards the end of his life. He got sober, he started riding again, he was fat as fuck for a minute, he lost some weight. And then he went out on kind of a, that's the only thing actually me and him shared. We both had motorcycles. And the others-

You still ride? Not too much, no. But, and he had his actual sons from other marriages too previously and those guys were right too so that was my only kind of relating. He wasn't violent towards me too much. Your mom? My mom spanked me a few times. No, no, no. I meant was he violent towards your mom? Very. He was. See, and that... And how old were you at that time? Are you seeing are you like you getting to be a little bit? See, that's the issue.

Like nine to 10 testosterone is introduced to a young boy's body and you start actually becoming a man, you know, creating a destroy the fucking whatever. Can I tell you, I remember. Can I tell you the minute? Uh huh. I'm playing baseball and sports and shit and stuff, and I know I'm good. I know how strong I'm getting and stuff. And my mother was just an abusive woman and she would fucking Like she would come home you would just be sitting there watching TV And if you left a cup in the sink, she would take the cup and I mean fucking throw it hard as shit at your fucking face

Okay, those things thrown at me too, and I'll never forget, I was tired of it and I picked that fucking cup up and purposely I didn't throw it at her, I threw it at the cabinets next to her and I went and that thing went and guess what? That was the last motherfucking thing. Now I got my ass whooped physically but that was the last thing got thrown at me until I was strong enough to fight back. I had a moment where I slammed the door on my mom too. Yeah.

At that moment where you're like, you're a kid, you're like, and you never hit, exactly, I would never hit my mom, but it's a moment where you're like enough. Yeah. Like what is this? I need to, you know, do something here so you know this shit ain't gonna keep going.

What I would say with my mom, I deserve every ass beating. I was a lunatic of a kid that need, and also single, basically single mom, the stepdad didn't do shit, just paid for the bills, of course, but still trying to raise these lunatics. And also my mom would be on the boost too, so it was like chaotic environment.

And I would say, I would say, I don't support hitting kids, of course, but I would say in that, if I would see me as a kid, it'd be pretty hard to. Listen, man. I was a fucking... Yeah. Yeah. I think maybe more kids should be a little... You didn't have a dad either? So my dad dies when I'm 16. I have a twin brother. He's 16. I'm 16. My younger brother's 13. My mom's already gone from the family.

So when he goes, that's it. Babush. That's it. And, uh, yeah, we go from there. Yeah. Yeah. But she had been for years like that, you know, just aggressive. And I wasn't a bad kid.

I wasn't getting in trouble. My grades were good. You know, look, once my dad was gone, that's when shit got real. Yeah. That's when we, and we were, we were the party house. We were the kids. If you had them in your high school, they had no parents. And Monday to Sunday party, everyone was there. Everyone booze, Coke. I only drank, uh, even at the time I didn't smoke weed. I didn't smoke.

Around the house I mean. Oh bro, I'm about to tell you. Not all, I'm just saying for me, but everybody else, oh, when the Grateful Dead would come to town, we'd go to the parking lot, just the parking lot. Not even to the show. It was a, it was a scene in the parking lot. Yeah. I don't know if you've ever been to one.

It was amazing. Wow. And people would come back to our place and here comes acid, here's fucking coke, here's shrooms, here's, what was the one they got that blew? Opium, opium was one they got one night. And I was always scared of it, but I didn't mind if you fucking did it

and that you had a safe place to do it and smoke it, but I love to be around it. You know what I mean? I love to see what would happen when Ari's going to smoke opium. Let's watch this. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. We'd sit there drinking beer watching you smoke opium.

Wow. Yeah. So it was like that. And from there on, it's just us taking care of each other. My mom lives with a boyfriend, and once a a week she'll come home to our place to do laundry or whatever and then boom she's gone again. Wow. Damn. And sports were so important to us and also so was being able to continue this. So I can't believe to this day I'm still friends with all these guys and their parents now.

I'm like, would you ever let your kids through? Like, fuck no. But their parents knew us and knew what happened. And they said, look, you can go, you can, but if your grades suffer, it's over. You guys show up late to school, it's over. And it was, we couldn't, if we got bad grades or we weren't there, soccer's gone, football's gone, everything's gone, wrestling's over. And it was, we couldn't, if we got bad grades or we weren't there,

soccer's gone, football's gone, everything's gone, wrestling's gone, lacrosse, baseball. And we didn't fuck up. We were the, that crew of people, party the hardest, hardest and showed up motherfucking all the time. All of us, all of us. And if you had a project, like if you're like, I'll still remember this day, I've told this story, but my buddy Chris, Sheila's like, oh fuck, I got to do a stupid, like a mobile about the solar system, styrofoam balls and shit. It's a Thursday night. We got Nintendo going. We're partying a little bit. And I'm like, all right, four of us got to go up to K Mart. We drive to K Mart. We go to their little supply section.

We get styrofoam balls. We come back. Ari, you got Jupiter. Ryan, Pluto. And we're just, everybody's helping around the house. Everybody pitched in for SATs. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

Everybody did it right. I graduated with a 3.0. I didn't have an attendance issue. I didn't have to go to school if any feel like it. Like my mom would put a blanket, bring tea and snacks and be like, I could have and be like, Jesus Christ, my boy, someone said to me probably in my 40s. Wait, you had no parents and you still want to school every day. And I went, yeah, she's

like, God, you're a fucking idiot. I went to college and got a 3.0. I didn't need a 4.0 with everything with no parents. I was like, if I can just get bees. Exactly. You know, I mean, I don't have parents. I'm going to let myself slide on A's. If I get bees, I'll get bees. And I got fucking bees. So I got B and but that's when it hit me like

I could have at least took every Friday off. I could have took every I didn't go to school for three weeks at some point. Come on dude. Yeah, my mom was like working in Finland and I was like, yeah, I just. Yeah, working in Finland, all right. I wouldn't consider myself a fashion forward type of guy, but I do love my clothes to fit right, feel good and actually last. That's why I love Quince and I'm excited to be sharing it with y'all.

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quince.com slash honeydew for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's q u i n c e quince.com slash honeydew to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash honeydew now let's get back to the do okay let's go back to this now enough about me so my stepdad you know um and uh when he would like i I have this one core memory when I'm like, we moved to a new house in Estonia, nice by the sea. Because we moved around a little bit, Lithuania, Poland, because of his business. His business was old metal, you know, and he would find old because when the war ended and the Soviet Union collapsed, you know, you might like when a fucking union collapses, you're just a, that if you're a soldier for the Soviet Union, when it, when a regime collapses, they don't give you a call like, okay,

bring your good point. It's literally a phone. Yeah. Well, pick up because another guy's gone and now you're a guy on a tank. You just have a tank now. For who? No, but I mean it's a tank. So what do you do with it?

Well, a lot of, there's great- That's a great point. There's great articles written on the, I remember reading in the New York Times, there was great articles about written about American businessmen too, who would immediately when the regime collapsed they would one way ticket to Kazakhstan, go to a port, see a submarine, go up to the guy. How much for the submarine? No.

Yeah, that's the... And then do what with it? Recycle the metal and aluminum and all that shit. Sell it to a drug dealer in Mexico. That's way better. That's what happened, right? Is it? Yeah.

There's a Netflix documentary about it. No I didn't. There's an American guy who went to a Soviet Union nuclear, nuclear shop, went up to the guy two cheeseburgers and $1,000. And then all of a sudden, Mexicans rock dealers are in a submarine. The US things were going to war because a submarine is approaching. Yeah. helicopters, old motorcycle Mercedes Benz's, all this shit, you know.

Just left and abandoned. And my stepdad would go through these old like in Poland, there was huge World War II like old bunkers and he would tear it apart to get all the metal. But then you need to own the land. So you would see some old lady. You know, when the regime collapsed, all these old ladies like in Lithuania, there was an old lady in the woods. The government just gives you land to take care of it because we need people to own land. So they would give that and there would be some old hanger like a Soviet hanger with a plane in it. And then these businessmen, okay, my father would show up and be

like, yeah, this plane is a piece of shit. We'll help you get rid of it. It's actually worth a million dollars. But this old lady, you make her it, you know. But then other gangsters, like my step that got shot at during these transactions. Oh, because they're coming over. Other gangsters, Romanian businessmen are coming. Wait a minute. This hanger is ours, this piece of land or railroads. That was a huge market, you know, chase these road. Oh, the iron. Yeah, of course. I think he, I remember he told me that the one piece on a railroad is like $2,000. Because they build ships from those. It's one of the strongest metals ever.

So it was like a crazy business, right? They should do a fucking HBO series on these businessmen, just running from getting shot at and trying to close these deals. So we go to Lithuania, Poland. Some point we go back to Estonia because my mom's friends are there. You know, he tells that we gotta go. So it looks as if things are going fine. And also- Is he doing well? Like, are you guys, do you have a house or are you-

Very, very well compared. I'm not American style. This wasn't Home Alone house. I love that that's your barometer for six months. When I was at Home Alone, I was like, fuck my house. It used to be Brady Bunch when I was growing up. They're like, look at that. Dude, home alone, I was like, fuck my house.

Where's our inside outside? Yeah. But we still, still, and the house in Vimsy, which is near the seaside, the rich rubber, dude, it's near the sea, it's nice, it's a new school. So it looks as if things are going nicely. Got it.

But then one night I'm like upstairs, they haven't finished, the house isn't quite finished. You know when you move into a newer house, that smell, it's exciting, you know, it's like a new school. I've only just moved into one in my life. Okay. And it's still there, right? It's still there.

So, and I'm watching Blade on my laptop that has a built-in DVD player. Remember Blade? Blade one. Holy fuck. Yeah. And, but I hear my mom and my stepdad get into it and it kind of sucked that my sister had moved out, gone to school or something, or maybe she did something else, you know? So it was just like, I'm the frontier, but I'm like nine years old or something, you know?

And then I hear like the shit go down and then I storm down, you know, I'm crying. And there's something when you're a young boy, when you see your mom getting hurt by another man. Now, I'm not saying that it's correct when your dad does it, but there's a certain family dynamic that I think even in our chimp DNA would kind of, I'm not saying it's good, but it feel natural at least. There's a connection, something, it still hurts you.

What I'm saying is if it's a stepdad, that's just a random guy that just moved in. Okay, I'm just going to help understand the comparison. You're saying... Yeah, I fucked it up. No, you didn't. If you're saying that this is not your birth father biological man, not that anybody should ever put hands on anyone, but this to you might as well be a stranger on the street

attacking your mom. Who I'm not close with at all. Who you don't have even feelings for. I haven't even opened up to this motherfucker. It would be much more complex to see a man who you loved and honored as a father putting his hands on your mom. You'd be way conflicted, like that's fucked up. But also I know and love this man.

This man's kind to me and loving to me. Whereas this fucking guy is not at all. Yeah. So there isn't any dynamic even. It's just a traumatic guy. Just a volatile ape that's around, not even my dad. Maybe I could at least see the dualism of him. Also, who's run from four fucking or three families. You were the fourth, my bad, three. I don't want to pin one more on them. And then you see, I mean, cops show up and the cops are- So you saw what happened or did you see the aftermath? I saw, well, I've seen what happened already,

but that time I saw the aftermath and it's like, just a bad situation, they're like in the sauna, both fucked up, mom says fucked up shit, he goes violent, you know? And then you just to see your mom beat up, it's just, you know, when you're, I don't know if you've seen, but your mom, like on all fours and looking at you going like,

just go, like that's, you know, she's still trying to protect me. So she goes, just go away. But then I stood in between them, but I'm so terrified, you know? And most of the time, that was the first time I snapped. I would say the other four or five times that I was near this, I

would like hide because I'm so small. And that really fucks you up. You know, like I to this day still see tendencies that were definitely engraved in my DNA just from, because you're supposed to be the man, you know, my mom would also be such a loving mom to me that she would always be like, you're the man of the house now, you know, and it and it's just you know it hurts you that a guy hurting your mom but you're so scared to do anything because i don't want to get hurt either you know now is he around long enough where you're old enough that you ever do finally have to step to him no they got a divorce maybe a year later okay good final this was a bad one too that one yeah and i mean you know cops show up and they already know my name because they've been to this house and this is a new house your kid

yeah and one cop plays Grand Theft Auto with me just while my mom's getting fucking what was it Grand Theft Auto one cop yeah just cuz he's gotta take He's got to take care of me. You know. He's playing with the any good. Yeah. He came in. Well, the other one has to talk to a fucked up mother. Man. A beat up lady. Yeah. This guy.

Go to her friend's place, you know, for a couple of days. And then you come back home and it's just this fucked up dynamic, you know. So then he's out for good? Yeah. He is. I mean. Out of the house for good. Yeah, he is. I mean, you know, the house, broken people love broken people. I, yeah.

And so I imagine he floats back in and out, but he's not on your roof on an everyday basis anymore. He's still paid the bills. We still stayed in that house. What does this guy do for a living? Oh, well that's the metal thing. Oh him. He is not your biological dad. Stepdad was still, we still haven't even heard of the biological dad. I mean, even. That's how he can afford three motherfucking, four families. Well, he could have a fucking island. I mean, I'm sitting here doing the math in my head,

like he's got a nice ass house, a seaside and then three other families. You know, that's a lot of- He could have an island. By the way, that's a lot of fathers that have four mediocre houses. They will, they're gonna have be one mansion, but that's most guys. They just trying to support us.

And he was a workaholic too, of course, you know, cause that's the only thing keeping him away from his pain. And then his families and his family still running. When Christmas would come and you have to go like Santa from house to house to house. He would do it. Imagine the beatings that these women and my mom would meet the other women and they would literally put their hands in the middle fuck him and then just fucking yell at this guy. There's one Christmas where four drunk ex-women

are literally pointing at him going this is why he's a retard, he's a broad guy, that's why that son is missing in the woods or he's a you know they're like yelling. That's a retard, he's a rock-eyed, that's why that son is missing in the woods or he's a f***ing fool you know they're like yelling he's a f***ing fool yeah no, literally, I remember that scene he's trying to be Santa and he's got the

he's got the beard, shut up yeah, he's got the f***ed up beard and a beard in his hand and he's sitting on this chair and four women fuck you fuck you Yeah And then she had and he did one time he had a at one point he snapped he had a come but he goes Yeah, I left you you went fat Because he looks like a slob of shit

Oh hell no, because he looks like a slob of shit. And then literally he said that about her one ex and then my mom goes look at you Michelin man. Christmas! Christmas! And all the sons, step-sons whatever all they were in the back. And what was great I was not biologically attached to him. So I tried to fuck all of his cousins and shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, all the hot cousins with the big tits so bring them red wine, get them all fucked up. I'm like 13 years old trying to fuck a 40-year-old woman.

Oh! Ha ha ha! Just revenge fucking his relatives. Dude, I'm literally sitting on this cousin's lap. Put my head between those two. That's your mom's move, bro. You son of a bitch. That's your mom's move.

It is, yeah. Using my mom's shit. Ah, Jesus Christ. But imagine having four. You ever successful? Were you ever successful with his relatives? No, I mean, I was 12 and there were 40. You were too little. And there were 44. Oh, they were well. OK.

Yeah. But I was. Oh, God. My fucking head between those fucking cousin tits. My boo. Oh, my God, dude. Yeah. Those family Christmas was crazy every year. I can't even believe he would go back to them. I thought he just abandoned them like fuck all of you, but he would make an appearance. You try. You know, he gets sober again.

The Santa thing is killing me. Let me do something. Yeah, let me do Santa and then four witches are yelling at you. Fuck you piece of shit. That'd be... Oh, fuck dude. Okay. And then his sons would like fucking punch

him sometimes do really cuz they're grown men at this point I'm like 12 they're tired everybody's tires they don't give a fuck this is motherfuckers we're going family to family they would literally fucking tired of this guy shit Too much See that Christmas man, thank you Just a beer Sack of fucking literally baggage on Cuz he had to yeah you got it you a year. One time he gave his real son,

like his real son, he gave like a PlayStation, the slim version, but then his other real son, Mighty, got a regular one, not the slim one, Mayhem. I learned, and I called it too, because I went up to him immediately, like that's the shitty PlayStation Yes, the shitty one and then looks at the other guys and he goes up to the you know, like fuck you So funny fuck this guy. I thought you're gonna say he gave him some like section of railroad You know what I mean? Like, you know what? This is worth. Oh, yeah, you should have you know, this is work

He should have yeah Okay, I I don't want to gloss over this because you said your mom is passed. What happened to your mom? Heart attack. Her too. Yeah, it's crazy. Everyone just dies. Okay, well.

Not even tragic. How? What happened? She was getting fucked up with her girlfriends, just getting fucked up in the sauna, drinking, having fun, and then she just died. In the sauna? Like, in the waiting room drinking, having fun. And then she just died. In the sauna? Like in the waiting room outside, like her friends found her.

Which was, thank God that I didn't find her. Wait, a home sauna or like at the spa? At the cottage, at the cottage. Like they had a cottage in the woods. Oh man. How old were you? How long? Three years ago.

Damn, I'm sorry. Yeah, it's a bomber, yeah. How old were you? How long? Three years ago. Damn, I'm sorry. Yeah, it's a bummer. Yeah. How old was she? 61 or 61, I think. And what happened? She's just, they found her there and it was just a heart attack. Yeah. And it was over.

And then my, her friends called me and then I got a call the sister. You know, that's a rough one. Where were you? I had an open mic about to go on stage in English but in Estonia because it's our only English open mic and you know what I would have gone on stage if I could have spoken in my native language I would have talked about that I was literally next on stage when I got the call. No. But and you still went? No I couldn't because it's in English. And like the mic was in English and I just can't, you know, you're so disassociated.

It would just be a stupid thing. But so then she dies. I go to my mom's funeral, you know, and this is where I meet all her friends and shit. And also you're like, dude, when you're in the, when you're like the son of a mom, that's the hot seat of a funeral. That's, you know, first draft sadness. Like you're the son, you know? I think there's a thing, right?

Like dads and daughters, sons and mothers, you know? So then me and my sister started organizing this funeral. We both agree. My mom hated sad shit. I hate sad shit. I never, and also Estonia, I don't know how Americans do it, but Estonia funeral is always morose as fuck. It's always black.

You'll have an open casket. Fuck! Just this. It depends on what you follow here. States Catholic, the way I grew up, open casket. It's all dark and ho dark and somber and sad. The Jesus is crying. Gee! Yeah, a lot of that.

So we both said we're gonna put jazz music on, we don't want none of that shit. And then there's things like in New Orleans, where they do that. Party cities? They do like a second line and then they bring the casket and they carry it and they'll bring it right down. They dance and stuff with the umbrellas and do a celebration instead. Yeah, there's all kinds of different things. And I'm like a mental retard. We heard at Christmas. Mental retard.

So my sister has to do everything. Everything in our life my sister has had to do. The death certificates, the inheritance, everything, I can't log in. I can't open a website. I'm not good. Only thing I had to do is get whoever is, what's it in English, the guy who's fucking doing the funeral, he does an opening speech, whatever. Orator. I guess orator. But there's a funeral. Yeah, funeral director we call a guy like that here. You know, he gives a nice speech, whatever. So I had to find this guy. So I find some guy who,

by Instagram seems like he's riffing more. Instagram? Yeah, like he ain't the Morose. You know, he's got a cross, but it's cool. Yes. Yeah, he's got a cool cross, got some rings, he's got a white Mercedes Benz on the one picture I got. This guy seems like, this guy seems like he would fuck my mom. Yeah, okay. Yeah, he's like a cool guy. He got the gold chain. Try contact.

This is my only job in the funeral. My only thing, my sister says, is please, let's not make it more rose. That's the only job I had, you know. So this guy, he's about 25 it morose. That's the only job I had, you know? So this guy, he's about 25 minutes late to the funeral. He rocks up with this white Mercedes Benz, kicking up a dust, you know, comes cigarette in car with the windows up.

That's a special type of cigarette. That is. He comes out, he goes, gives me a handshake. He goes, oh yeah, you're already asked. Sorry about that. The last one went long. He did like another funeral. This was post COVID, so money was popping.

And where is this? In Estonia. In Estonia, okay. Beautiful day, beautiful church. And he gets up there and he has a little note where it's my name, my sister's name. Like he's got a little set list. And he goes, oh yeah, that's the city. He goes like this. And then then dude when he goes on well as soon as he

grabbed the altar he grabbed it like that he grabbed like this he looks at the crowd he goes death is an end to a story. My sister is front row. I'm in the back. My sister looks at me like this. You're like, that's how it is. And then he does 20 minutes of the talk. He talks about his friends that are dead and he'll never see them again. He talks about his friends that are dead and he'll never see them again. And no callbacks, no like, well, now we can cherish the memories, no cherish all that. He's like, it's over, it will be over. You'll never see her again. The mom is dead. The son is sad.

The daughter is a whore. He's doing all, he's like saying the dog. I think their dog just died. I think their dog just died actually. He's literally like, the sadness won't ever end. Oh shit. Yeah. So that was like the only, and then in the funeral, such an Estonian funeral, you know, so many tensions,

you know, a fucking all aunt that's like, if Darmor shows up, I'm leaving, you know, so many tensions, you know, a fucking aunt that's like if, if Darmor shows up, I'm leaving, you know, a lot of families are always like retarded like that. Dude, she's dead. Everyone's dead. Everyone's dead. Can we just, everyone just show up, you know, who gives a fuck about that? I even had a family member ask me for money that my mom owed him. Nah, bro. For real? For real.

How much? It's like two grand. You gotta just let that go. Bro, I said she's dead. Not 20 grand. I said she's dead. Yeah. She took that two grand with you, bro.

She took your two grand. Exactly. And then in the after party, you know, you have the, what's, is there a word for that? We have Bayard. Awake. Yeah. Awake. Yeah. People get a little loose. Old, old family shit starts coming up. You know, you see the uncle, you see the uncle, the tie is loose and he's looking around and you know, he's, he's about to pop off on some people, you know, and then you hear like you're here, you didn't even fucking love her. You hear that?

Yeah, just over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my favorite. It was literally my uncle who was a fucking, just an alcoholic, dude. Did anybody from Stepfather's family show? No, they sent their condolences or whatever. No. And then of course I'm getting lit too. I'm drinking vodka, you know,

talking to another girl with big fucking tits. I mean, it's my mom's funeral, but I'm drinking. Your mom wanted you to have a good time. 100%. 100%. Listen, no offense, your mom would've. Exactly. Your mom would've.

So then I'm talking to her, and then my grandma walks up to me with a note goes, you and Laura have a different dad, your dad's still alive, here you go, here's the number. And then she just was- Get the fuck out of here. That's mom's mom? Your mom's mom, grandmom?

Yeah, mom's mom, yeah. And my mom's mom and mom didn't talk for 20 years. So this is the first time you're, how long did you know her? Well, I've known her my entire life. So she would see you and she just would not talk to mom? Not talk, not even mention. Like if you went to see my grandma, you brought up my mom.

No, she wouldn't even ask you how she's doing. Never, never. Wow, what happened there? My mom had cancer at one point, my grandma, not even a pee. Damn! What the fuck did they do? Just fucking, I don't think there was, yeah just nonsense literally. And when I was 16, 17, I remember my mom kind of insinuating that my dad's dead, you know, kind of like when I asked the question or something, you know. So then we found out dad's a lie, but with the note, I go to an open mic, I call him on stage.

No. Yeah, yeah. Sadly he didn't pick up. That would have been a great, from the funeral, I go straight to an open mic. And when my comedian friends see me, you know, come with the suit, with the fucking funeral suit and the last person is on and they go, okay,

Ari wants to go on and you know, all your friends are like, is this going to be one of those? One of those. And it wasn't, I was just talking about what happened at the funeral. And then I pulled out the number. Everybody goes ape shit, of course, you know, didn't pick up. But then, um, did you leave a message? No, there's no way the message is just doesn't pick up. He ain't a message guy. But then I send like through mutual acquaintances, you know, I send like if he's interested.

And to be honest, his side of the story, if you think about it, it's just like he banged some fucking waitress in Estonia, had a kid, tried it, didn't work out. Now he if he doesn't want to be involved. And also, by the way, my standup career has been going, he definitely knows I'm out there. So he would have reached out and that's fine. I'm not bitter. Listen, I've forgiven my stepdad. Everyone's a hundred percent forgiven, you know. I don't judge a life that I didn't live. So I'm not going to be there like, wow, how could you, you know? But do you know if he's even alive? Dad? Oh yeah, kicking. Yeah could you, you know? But do you know if he's even alive? That, oh yeah, kicking, yeah. How do you know that?

Well, I reached out to a mutual acquaintance, like if he's interested, and then she comes back, she goes, he's interested, yeah. No, damn. Makes sense. Maybe it makes sense. I don't know if it makes sense. Maybe it does for him.

Maybe he's scared that I'll be one of these, ah, at a cafe, freak out, you know. I mean, I guess maybe I'm gonna put myself in his shoes. Maybe he's, you're not his only kid. 100%, I don't think so. And he's terrified you're gonna put him on blast and into your material and into your podcasts and into your whatever it becomes.

Whatever it becomes. Imagine watching your son that you're trying to bury in your past, doing bigger and bigger rooms. Pop up in your algorithms. Doing bigger and bigger rooms. Like in Finland, I've done like 60, 200, 400, 2000. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna be like that.

Is that where he lives? Yeah. So you know that. Yeah, yeah. Do you know if he's ever slipped in the sea? That'd be awesome. See, that's all I want, even. I don't give a fuck about. Everyone's forgiven. Everyone's dead slipped in the sea. That'd be awesome. See, that's all I want. I don't give a fuck about

like everyone's forgiven. Everyone's dead and everyone's forgiven. I've always been like that. I don't give a flying fuck. I'm not judging anybody, dude. That would be awesome though, huh? But then yeah, it's just, but it really shows how much families have bullshit dynamics that people need to die for me to find out the truth. Jesus fucking Christ. That's a great point. Do you think anyone ever tells you if your mom doesn't die? Does your grandmom tell you that if mom doesn't die? Was it time or was it, hey, she's dead, you deserve to know this if it's something you wanna know. I think it was probably my mom putting,

like telling everybody, if you even tell anybody about this, you know, I think it's like that. You don't think your grandma just found out that has been something that's been known and hushed? 100%, yeah, yeah. And I think maybe their relationship rotted from that, cause my grandma was a traditional person too. She will be like, oh, you left your husband or whatever,

whatever, you know, like you had a kid with a. What about your sister's father? See, now we find out he's alive too. And he's somewhere. How'd you find that out? Well, we just started talking with my sister, you know. And my sister knows. No one's 23andMe or any of that stuff.

We don't have that website, dude. You got to hear it. It's Soviet records. You think it's like, it's like being Mexican. Yeah, you're- So being Mexican, do a 23andMe. You're a Juan Alvarez. Have fun. Yeah. Good point. Have fun. Yeah. We don't have any of that shit. So talking through some people, you find out that her biological father- Yeah. And he lives somewhere else. Like I think in Estonia on an island or something.

And he's also else. Like I think in Estonia on an island or something and he's also Finnish Was it the same sort of deal with him? He was uh, I think some also pieces shit something like that At least by my mom's opinion, you know, I guess my mom had a type Yeah, but your mom also was really bad at timing out on her period of being shit You know what I'm saying that that zone, that green light zone. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Your mom did not know how to do that.

For sure. All right, and you're the only two kids of hers. Yeah, only two kids, yeah. And are you close with your sister? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are, okay. We're super different, but super close. What does she do?

Like a real job. What's a real job? There's papers involved in meetings. Papers and meetings. Does she have kids? No, no, no, not yet. I hope she will soon. She should, yeah, fuck.

Do you want kids? 100%. Oh yeah, good. 100%, yeah. With guys it's easier, you know. I'm 33, I still have fucking. You got 60 years, bro. I got literally.

You'd have got 50 years if you're Mick Jagger. You know what I mean? You got 50 years. Just put me sideways like an You know what I mean? You got 50 years. Just put me sideways like an old sap tree and try to just get that come out. Just let it drain out. Just let that come out. That's how they got all the peccinos come.

They put them sideways for two weeks. They had to, right? They had to. This is America. I can blast off in a 26 year old girl. No one judges me. Do you feel like, do you feel like you really got to know your mom in the time you spent with her?

It's always like that, that the closer you get to the age that they pass, the more you would like to know what they were. See, it is a bummer. That's also the family dynamic that I kinda, we kinda had that there were a lot of closed doors, you know, we weren't, and I wouldn't say like, I needed to know, I didn't feel I wouldn't say like I needed to know.

I didn't feel that as a kid. I was also a private kid to my same. I resonate with this hard because everyone that died early in my family too would always say we'll tell you when you're older. Well they all fucking died with the shit that would have been beneficial to know and would have been helpful to know and one have been helpful to know. Instead of finding out at a funeral, like your dad's actually alive and you're like, what?

And one of the best gifts, one of her close friends, the one that was telling me about sitting on the lap and working with her, they worked together, they went to school there, one of her best lifetime friends, you know. She gave me such a great gift when she died. She gave me an album of pictures of all the times throughout their life when her and mom

were absolutely fucked up. Some of these pictures. Is that right? Yeah, some of these pictures of my mom on a chair during the summer covered in mosquitoes because she's fucked up, passed out, and she's sunburnt and she's just covered in mosquitoes. And then she's like, every time you want to hear a story about her, just point at the picture, I'll tell you the story. So I pointed out a few pictures. It's like,

oh, that time we were, we were working at this place, but we were quitting. So we stole all the money from the owner and then we went fucking to Turkey for two weeks, you know, something like that. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. But it is a bummer that a person has to die for you to get to know that side, you know. Yeah, because I saw that side of my mom. She was very always fun. But there was a certain limit between us, which is good. You don't want a friend.

You want a parent at the end of the day. Damn right, bro. That cool parent shit is all nothing but problems for everybody in the end. Dude, I remember when my I had a friend, classmate, Tormo, his parents would let him smoke cigarettes inside. That's insane. Yeah. Inside.

And you're, you're a much younger man than me too. This, we're talking about what the nineties or he's doing this. 2000, early 2000. That's crazy. So that's some shit you do in the seventies and eighties. And Tormo would show up to school with a full pack of Marlboro Reds. I'm like, what'd you get that? He's like, my dad, my dad gave it, you know, booze, weed.

And then I'm like, I look at my cunt of a mom. I'm like, hey, mom, relax. What's with the curfew, bitch? Dude, literally 10 p.m. curfew. It ain't even dark outside. 10 p.m. ain't fingering time. I'm trying to finger girls. Nobody fingers during sunlight.

I need to sleep deprived, I need to be tired and two ciders in. So sunlit. The sun is out. What time is it going down? Pizza and fingering ain't a daytime activity. And my count of a mum is like 10pm or you, you ain't going to my out tomorrow. So Jesus fucking Christ. And then I snap out my mom one time.

I'm in the car and I'm like, you know, Tormo's parents, they fucking have all fun. Why couldn't you be like that? And then she looks at me, she goes, Tormo lives in a trailer. And I didn't know that because I didn't visit Tormo. Is that right? Next week I go to Tormo's place to check it out dude. It's a trailer next to a burnt house. He pried through a cigarette over there.

It's a half burnt house where the laundry room is still working. You know what? It's a half burnt. It's literally diagonally. Hey man, you tell these are good. And the ashes were still smelling even though it burned down like three years ago. He definitely did. Yeah, like it's a half-perk, it's literally diagonally. Hey man, you tell me these are good. And the ashes were still smelling, even though it burned down like three years ago. He definitely f***ed up.

Exactly, that's what happened to us, Tartamo. And then in the trailer, the dad is still smoking. And then there's one point I remember the dad literally, he's smoking inside the trailer and Tartamo was giving him shit like, see what happened when you smoke inside points of the house and he goes huh this one's made of metal they really did do it yeah yeah he fell asleep with the secret and the house fucking burnt down dude oh so that's like oh do you want a parent or a friend that's right exactly you want a parent or a friend? That's right. Exactly. You need a, you want a friend, but you need a motherfucking parent.

So in this world, listen, that's the other thing you need to know about parenting and not you in general, but just people like it's, it's a long game. The reward in parenting doesn't come until you hit your twenties or your probably not even your thirties when you can start being like, man, thank God you didn't let me do this. Or how the fuck did you make it to all my practices? Or how'd you do this? How'd you do that? It's a, it's an investment that doesn't pay dividends well till down the line. You get your daily things, you know, the hugs, the love, the whatever. But I mean, that moment, that's decades

sometimes before you hit that where you're like, fuck. And then you look at other people's parents like that. Yeah. Like my mom would... Listen, we had no parents and we were better than Darmho's parents. A hundred percent. Well, that's the other thing when people go, oh, you grew up without a dad. That's so sad. Dude, a lot of the stories I've heard about these guys. Jesus. Had two parents. These motherfuckers had two parents. Yeah, Jesus Christ.

Fucking lunatics around, huh? Me and my sister and my mom were watching fucking Grey's Anatomy having a great time. So I'm gonna ask you, did your mom ever get to see you do comedy? Yes. She did. See, I was so,

because we didn't get along like that. And I would talk about my mom and my aunt a lot, call her all kinds of names. I don't give a fuck. In your set you would. And then that friend, Kaity, the person who gave me the album, her close friend, she's been with her daughter. They were like super close. They had more of a, they also had their own fucked up families, you know, own things, they all partied together. It was a whole fucked up dynamic, but they were, I would say, they were a bit closer than me and my mom were, the daughter and the mom, you know.

So then they would come to the shows. I would see them all the time. And then one time I'm doing like maybe, this was my first big theater tour, it's maybe like show six in 900 theaters. So it's like a big thing that I'm doing in my career, in my life. It's official now that I'm successful at this, you know?

And then I'm doing, I'm like, I had a bit about my mom being like hearing my mom fuck men, you know, and I would have a bit about how I love that my mom got fucked because you don't want, you know, a mom who doesn't get fucked. That's a bad mom. It's hard to ask gifts when they don't get fucked right. And then sometimes, yeah, in the bit,

I do an act where I meet my stepdad, I'm like, I haven't heard a peep. Yeah, what's going on out there? I'm flunking eighth grade. We don't need this tension. Fuck the shit out of my mom for the love of God. I gotta tell her I'm being let back. You know, seems like a bit like that.

I've already done that bit. But about 40 minutes in, I remember I'm starting to do my closer and a specific laugh in the, like a balcony and I know it's my mom's laugh. You do. That's when it hits me. Kind of hold back a little bit, then close even harder. Cause in my head I go,

oh I did the worst part already. We don't even, we take a picture later, we don't even talk about it. But later I go home, I see her, you know, and she just comes up to me, it's so astonishing, literally comes up to me, she goes, yeah, whenever you're on stage you just give me a shoulder bump. She goes, just go as hard as you want. And just that's like how that's a hug for an American. That's probably is that right? I would say yeah, for sure in our relationship for sure. You know, I didn't need fucking to cry with her together. Yeah, I didn't need that. But I feel like go as hard as you want is better than a hug. 100% she really said go as hard as you bro. Thank you very much. Exactly.

I'll high five you bitch. Dude. You know what I mean? I don't need the hugs. Next time I'm talking about your holes. You have no idea what you just suddenly said. I can't thank you enough for that right there. That's better than any hug I ever got from my mom. Lots of money in my pocket. Yeah.

Man. So what age do you leave Estonia then? 19. 19. 19. And my mom- Straight to the States or you go on other places first? No, no, no, I go to Thailand for backpacking.

I meet a girl there that's from San Diego. I fall in love with her. We moved to Australia together. I start standup comedy in Melbourne. I moved back to Bangkok after my visa expires. I did a stretch in London. I did a- You ever do comedy over in Bangkok or anything?

Yeah, no, I lived there. I did Bangkok Comedy Club. That was my home club. I mean, are there English speaking comedians as well? Yeah, yeah, expats. Oh, there are expats. I met Ari Shafir there. I met Ari Shafir in Cambodia.

Oh, okay. He was also like a backpackats. I met Ari Shafir there. I met Ari Shafir in Cambodia. Oh, okay. He was also like a backpacker. I backpack all through South East Asia, did all those gigs. Then I lived in London for a little bit, did some gigs there. I of course toured in Estonia for five years. And then I also lived a year in Vancouver, Canada too.

Oh, okay. Doing comedy. I was doing comedy wherever I could get a work visa. All right. Yeah. Good for you, dude. Thank you for doing this, man could get a work visa. All right. Yeah. Go for you, dude. Thank you for doing this, man. This is a great episode, dude.

No, this is fun, yeah. I really loved getting to know that shit about you. But let me ask you this. See, I didn't know that this is like, it's a great, by the way, great idea. Thank you. That there's a structure. Well, I got tired of seeing everyone's Instagrams and highlight reels, and we all know that's not what's really going on in your life.

Exactly. And what really fuels you and motivates you. So I was like, why don't we highlight the low lights? And again, like I say all the time, if you're going to come on here and talk about abuse or cancer, we're not going to laugh at that, but we're going to find moments within that to laugh about. A hundred percent. And I just, also it's given me, we're coming up on,

we started this in January, 2019. It's given me such a new appreciation and love for comedians that I didn't, who I already, I just loved comedians anyway already. You know what I mean? Like we're such rejects. I mean, I say all the time, the theater kids kicked us out. You know what I'm saying?

That's how fucking bad we are. The theater kids are like, you're the weird one. You're the weird one. You are the weird ones. No, motherfucker, you're the weird one. And it wasn't until I got in life, I mean, I didn't know everyone I knew had parents. And even if they didn't want them still had,

we didn't have our mom, you know, you would think if your parent dies, you're like, oh God, guys, I got you, I love you. No. So I didn't even know that my friend's parents, their parents were still alive. No one could relate to me. I didn't feel like.

Wait, let me ask you this. Did you have a weird moment when you went to your friend's parents and saw healthy parents for the first time. We talk about this a lot. Yeah. Isn't that a mindfuck? I remember when we would leave and we'd spend the night at our friend's houses and we would be like, you guys get hugs over here. You know, literally someone's making you breakfast. I remember going to my friend Marcus's place. That's when you start realizing how fucked up your shit. And I go there and

everything's clean and quiet and tranquility is around the house. I'm like, what the fuck is this? Why isn't it about to pop off, dude? Yeah. I live in world star hip hop back home. Everyone's angry. When you're like, oh, you're about to get fucked up and then it doesn't happen? Exactly. Wait, what? And there was a moment where like, they see me, they're like, oh, we didn't know you're coming so we're going to get some extra milk for what other food she's making.

We're just going to go to the store. I'm like, go to the store just to get milk for me. Okay. Sure. We are parents. Okay. Creepy. And then from the window, I see Marvis's parents walk into a local store holding hands.

And I've never seen their parents. I didn't know parents even hold hands. I look at my friend Mark's and I'm like, fuck I didn't know your parents were. What the fuck? Who holds hands to this dog? We had Gary Owen on recently and he goes, he said he had a joke where he went to a sleepover

one night and he's like, what's your dad doing here? Then he goes, he lives here. And he said he went home and goes, Hey mom, Mark's dad lives with them. It's so weird. You're like, why? That's crazy. Your dad lives there. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. So, um, but it is fun. What I like about this podcast is I've always, what do you think about this? Do you open up to people about your trauma a lot or no?

If they ask, I mean, I have to say yes. It's been put out there for years now. I've ever since I was young, even before a lot of shit happened, I remember it's kind of like that funeral with my parents. I remember meeting a lot of people that would be very, hold things down a lot and just deal with their own insanity by themselves. Sometimes me opening, well, a lot of the times, me opening up ends up hurting me, you know, in relationships or sometimes the family members

will get upset because I talked about something that's a bit inappropriate, but fuck you. I wanna get it out because otherwise I'm gonna just that's a bit inappropriate. But fuck you, I wanna get it out because otherwise I'm gonna just go insane with this sadness. Yeah, I'm not you either. Why do I gotta carry that bullshit? You wish you could fucking have an outlet like we have to say something.

Also, this is a lesson. If there's another life, don't be such a fucking asshole. Yeah, also everyone's dead. You never know, everyone's fucking dead. No, it's dead. You know, this is the lesson in life. Who thinks that they're going to reject the child and then one day that kid's going to get behind a microphone and have fans and an audience and a voice and an outlet to tell a bunch of

people about the shit that you did 20 or 30 fucking years ago. Exactly. Just be a good person. You don't have to worry about that. You don't have to worry about that shit. You don't have to worry about that shit. And even, listen, even if you aren't a good person, you talk about it. And I should also talk about it. Yeah.

You know, I deserve to talk about whatever I want to talk about. Yeah. You know, and I, and I, and I know whenever you open up, there'll be people who'd be like, no, it didn't go down like that. That's just your perspective. Yes, it is. That's the point of opening up. I tell my perspective, then you go, no, actually what happened?

And now we talk, or we could just live our little manic lives by ourselves. I have a war with you and we've never even opened up, you know? And that's how I see a lot of, at least my own family members sometimes, I'm like, they walk around with this fucker and like he's a piece of shit, like, I'm, he's a fuck, dude. I talk about everything always. It's just healthy.

Well, the focus of this, so the honeydew, I was having dinner at a diner one night, I'm eating my food and I eat the fruit cup and I eat all the fruit except for the honeydew. Even the red grapes, I don't even like red grapes. I like green grapes, but I ate everything but the honeydew. Even the red grapes. I don't even like red grapes. I like green grapes, but I ate everything but the honeydew. And I say all the time, I don't have a passion against it. I just don't fuck with it. And as I got up and I left, I saw honeydew scattered on the tabletops. And just thinking to myself, like, that's a perfectly

good fruit that most people discard. Exactly. And then it hits me, oh, that's what I am in life. Perfectly good person that like yourself has been discarded and thrown away. And I decided enough of everybody with the like, look at my popping bottles. I'm on a yacht. I'm like, I'm not. I'm not. I'm still trying to figure out how y'all have two parents. There should be an, like a honeydew version of an Instagram app where you can only post

miserable shit. There's a TikTok trend, I think that was doing that for a while. And we do a Patreon show called the honeydew with y'all where I do it with fans. And I'm telling you, bro, their stories are a million times wilder than anything you could ever even imagine. A hundred percent. Yeah. It's such a good show.

$5 a month. Sign up for Patreon. Yeah. Brother, thank you for doing this for real. Thank you so much for having me on. Promote everything one more time. Your socials, all that. Don't worry about the website.

Oh, Ari Mati Comedy, Estonian Comedian. You can just find me. Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Go see him on tour. Yeah. A lot of gigs everywhere. Thank you. Thank you for doing this.

Legend. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to y'all next week. You