The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - 345: Marc Maron - Partying with Sam Kinison

Episode Date: August 4, 2025

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Marc Maron! Check out his latest special Panicked on HBO now. Marc joins me this week to Highlight the Lowlights of his early years living in L.A. and dealing with addiction! We talk about Marc’s time working as head doorman at the Comedy Store, how it influenced his spiral with substances, and the crazy situations he found himself in while partying with Sam Kinison. Marc opens up about a psychosis that started his trip into sobriety, and how he’s remained sober for 26 years! SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://youtube.com/@rsickler SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON - The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! Get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! AND we just added a second tier. For a total of $8/month, you get everything from the first tier, PLUS The Wayback a day early, ad-free AND censor free AND extra bonus content you won't see anywhere else! http://patreon.com/RyanSickler What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] Get Your HoneyDew Gear Today! https://shop.ryansickler.com/ Ringtones Are Available Now! https://www.apple.com/itunes/ http://ryansickler.com/ https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO THE CRABFEAST PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187

On the 80th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz comes an unprecedented exhibition about one of history's darkest moments. Auschwitz, not long ago, not far away, features more than 500 original objects, first-hand accounts and survivor testimonies that tell the powerful story of the Auschwitz concentration camp, its history and legacy, and the underlying conditions that allowed the Holocaust to happen. On now exclusively at ROM tickets at rom.ca. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew y'all we're over here doing it in the night pan studios.

I'm Ryan sickler. Thank you for supporting this show. Thank you for watching. I love my job and you guys are a big part of that. So thank you. And if you got to have more than you got to have the Patreon, it's called the honeydew with y'all. It is this show with you all. And it is, I promise you, the wildest, best storytelling show on Patreon. It's five bucks. All right. It's been five bucks since day one. I won't ever change it. If you or someone you know has a story that has to be heard, please submit it to honeydewpodcast at gmail.com.

If you're on the fence, check out the best of episodes we've put up on the free YouTube that we do with Josh Wolf and go check those out. And I promise you, you're like a cup of coffee. You're in. All right. I'm very excited. You guys know we do here. We highlight the low lights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very, very excited to have this guest on. But waiting a long time, hoping this would happen.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mark Maron. Welcome to the honeydew Mark Maron. Thank you. Clap yourself in, Dan. Thank you. Right. Um, thank you very much for being here. Before we dive into whatever we're going to talk about right there, promote

everything and anything you'd like, please. Yeah. August 1st, which I think will be behind us. When you see this, my HBO special, Panicked, uhicked is available to watch. What else is happening? The bad guys too, if you got kids. I'm Mr. Snake. That's happening in August. I have a, there's a couple of films. I'm in the show Stick with Owen Wilson on Apple TV. And I've got a documentary about me, which was a three-year haul, called Are We Good? I don't know where that's going to be playing, but maybe by the time this is out, you might

be able to see it somewhere. And there's a, I'm in the Bruce Springsteen movie too. Are you? Yeah, I got a little bit in there. As yourself or as a character in that? No, it's a very specific biopic. It's a story of the making of Nebraska. And I play the engineer, Chuck Plotkin. Plotnik Plotkin. And it's a small part, but it's a part.

It's in there. And Scott Cooper, the director, wanted me to be in it. And it was kind of a funny story, that thing about being a comic you know I've been acting a bit and I did a lead in an indie movie that I don't we're waiting to see if it gets into Toronto. It was a big deal for me and after that you know after being in every scene for a month I had to do this Springsteen movie and I re-looked at the script and there was only like five lines like the fuck is this? I just did the lead. This is like an entry level job. I mean, why am I even doing this?

Like I'm not a diva, but it happened. And it got to the point where I contacted my manager. I'm like, why, they could get any guy to do this. And then I took it to the next step and I texted the fucking director and I'm like, hey Scott, I'm looking at the script again. Not a lot in there for me. Am I wrong?

And he just- Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Ha ha ha, that's the way. But it's so like, what the fuck was I thinking? And he texts back and is like, hey man, you don't have to do it. We'll do something again some other time. I just thought it would be fun. And then right away I'm like, all right, yeah, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Y'all plugged you right away, dude, yeah. And it was great. It was great because the funny thing was, it's not a big part, but it's a pivotal part in the story, the guy. And we're recording, we're shooting in the studio that Bruce did a lot of the work in.

But the funny thing was, is that Bruce and his manager, John Landau, the actual guys are just out at Video Village. They're there the whole time. Oh, he is there. He's there. Okay. He's watching everything.

And before- Is he also getting a bit of a, does he have a say in like, yes, no? I think Cooper wants to make it right. It's a very specific story about his commitment to the sound of the analog cassette tape that was haunting. And it is what Nebraska was. So after a lot of fits and starts and, you know, people pushing back on him, he's like, we just gotta use that.

We gotta use the cassette tape. And they didn't have any idea how to get that onto a record with the sound quality necessary. So it's kind of the arc of an artist possessed with this sound and figuring it out. So my character kind of facilitates how it's figured out. But going into it, I said to Cooper, I said, look, there's not a lot of footage on this guy and he's a real guy and I want to do, respect him and try to get it right.

But I don't know where to even look. And Cooper's like, don't even worry about it. Just figure it out, how to be on the board and stuff. And I'm like, okay, man, I'll just do it as I feel it. And after the first take where I'm doing it, I'm being the recording engineer, a lot of this, he goes cut and I walk out in a video village and Bruce goes, you got it, you're Chuck.

And I'm like, well, that was coincidental. I must've just summoned him from somewhere. But Bruce's, I had interviewed him, so I was able, it was kind of fun. It was fun to do, but that's what's happening. Well, before we get into your story here, I want to give you your flowers. I just want to say thank you.

Thank you for being one of the pioneers of this platform. I mean, you got a fucking sitting president in your garage. You didn't have to go to him. Like you got the guy to come to your garage. Which says a lot about both of you actually. Any other president I feel like, we go fuck yourself, you won't talk to me. It was interesting.

I think it was a big bump for the medium in general. Well, no doubt it is 100% a tipping point of this medium. So I also equated to what Clinton did with the saxophone on Arsenio. Now, he wasn't a sitting president at the time. I believe he was running campaign. I think. I might be wrong. I wouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have had anyone running. But he came and went on these late night shows and opened up this whole new avenue for politicians, presidents to go there. You're taking that with the medium itself too, where a lot of people hadn't still hadn't heard of this thing yet and be like,

now they're coming in and they realize, oh man, there's home and garden podcast and sports and arts and craft. I had no idea. So yeah, you're a huge, that moment is a huge tipping point. I think I, it was, I helped, You know, so yeah, you're a huge, that moment is a huge tipping point. I think I helped bring something great to the world, but I also, I think I kind of released the Kraken as well. Well, you can't not when you do something like that. You know what I mean? When you tear down a wall, they're all coming.

Yeah, there's a few of us there. I mean, people are always, the nerds are really like, well, there were podcasts way back, like, yeah, but no one knew what they were. Right. What's his name from MTV, the guy from MTV? Yeah, is it always, the nerds are really like, well, there were podcasts, so you know, way back, like yeah, but no one knew what they were. Right, what's his name from MTV? The guy from MTV. Yeah, is it Mark, not Mark. Adam, I think it was Adam.

Adam, oh. The guy with the pretty hair, I forget his name. He was very early on and then he had your- Yeah, but there was no way to listen to any of it. No, right, you had Rogan and you guys, Corolla. Rogan came a little after me. Corolla had basically moved his radio show. But it was like Jimmy Pardo, Benson,

you know, Jimmy Dorr. I mean, yeah, there were some, a few guys in our world. I think, I don't know when Jay Moore started. Hardwick, I think, started a little after me. Rogan started a little after me. I think Jay might've started a little after me, but there was a crew there that we were all doing each other shows. It was a very supportive community back then. Still is, I think Jay might've started a little after me, but there was a crew there that we were all doing each other shows.

It was a very supportive community back then. Still is, I think. I'm here. Well, I wanted to ask you too, like, just it's a life change for you to walk away from something that was not only so beneficial and so great for yourself, for everything here. Do you feel a sense of relief?

Are you a little nervous? Do you feel like there's this new chapter where you gotta get into a new groove? Because for so long, this has been in your fiber. I know, but are you? It's interesting because it's always been just me and my producer and we do an audio podcast and that was the way it all started.

And that's what we always done, we're audio guys. You do radio, right? So the thing was- AM radio station in college, bro. Yeah. Towson, yeah. Oh, wow. AM. They wouldn't let me on the FM, brother. I wasn't allowed on the AM. Was it all skinnered all the time? What was it? Here's another one from ZZ Top. Some of you Remember this? You were like the pixies who? But the thing was, we never got into it, we didn't think we could make money, we weren't like jamming content,

we were very specific and as the show evolved, we did a certain thing that was uniquely ours together. And he's a very brilliant guy and he's a very meticulous producer. So I've grown to believe that we've talked to almost everybody that I could ever imagine, and then some. But the quality of the thing has maintained,

and the audience has maintained. And we did all right. We got in under the wire on a deal with a platform, and we made out OK. And I think we got what we deserved. But then it becomes like, well, we've got this complete piece of work which is 16 years of very specific and unique. Yeah. And you were twice a week? Yeah. So you're looking at 32 years if you were to

listen to one episode a week. That's incredible. It's crazy. So when we decided we wanted to wind down, the only thing that if you've done all right and you're not about just putting content in the world and the risk is, is it gonna diminish? Are we gonna lose interest? I mean, it's a lot of work and we're a little burnt out, but it really comes down to like, if you don't have to do it, you know, like if it's ego,

why not just keep doing it? Like, well, why keep doing it? I mean, Stern, you know, God bless him. What, I don't know, I've never said that in my life. But you know, Stern. I don't know anybody. But he was on his show talking about me hanging it up. And he said, well, if Marin's burnt out, I must be dead.

And I don't think he sees the irony in that because there is something too like that. Like, is he still doing it? You don't want to be that guy. So I think in terms of the legacy, we now have a really an amazing piece of work that maintained its integrity and quality for a long time. And it's okay.

And will continue to also. It's not gone. It's okay to leave. No, it's still there to listen to forever. That's right. And we're going to try to find a place. Like Zeppelin and everything else. Well, I appreciate that comparison, but we're trying to find a home for the catalog,

but it'll always be out there. But I don't know, I am feeling a little relieved, dude. Because right now in the culture, it's like no one ever shuts up. Everyone is talking. I mean, it's like there are so many, and I'm not judging anybody, but I scroll through my, sometimes on Instagram, and it's just like,

two to four white guys in front of mics talking about the last time they shit themselves as adults. And I'm like, is this where we are? This is what you've helped contribute to. It's like, but nine different sets of them. Yeah, you're not lying. And also like everyone's got one now, which is it's okay, it's fine, I don't feel. Well it all started everyone, once the internet hit,

everybody had the keyboard and had a say up there. That's right. And now everybody's got the microphone and everybody's got cameras. And they got both. And they all love it now, yeah. Yeah, and it's really kind of, it's not as special, and I think that we did something special,

and by pulling back from it, it stays special and I think that we did something special and by pulling back from it, it stays special. I agree. And I'm okay with it. Yeah, I'm blown away. My first podcast, I started podcasting around 2010. It was the Crab Feast and it was audio only with Jay Larson. I like audio.

We're older guys too. I'm still an audiophile. But it's still like- It's the younger generation likes to watch. It's still intimate though. It is. It's like it's a different thing. When I was starting the thing out,

people would come and they'd be like, oh, I don't have to do no makeup? And I'm like, no, you don't need makeup. You can tell all those people to go home. You don't need lights? What are you talking about? It was just hanging out. And it was easier to get intimate

and to get connected. Like in these guys who were doing it on Zoom, I'm like, you gotta stop. You gotta get off the Zoom. I mean, it's gotta be about the connection. You gotta be able to talk to that person, see that person, feel their energy. I think so.

So let's jump back to the beginning here. You're, from what I look up here, and you know, never all accurate, but Jersey born. Jersey born. New Mexico raised. New Mexico raised, yeah. Okay.

What's that like growing up New Mexico? It was great. You know, it was pretty standard. You know, it was probably a half a million people at that time. Albuquerque. You were in Albuquerque. Yep. It was about, you know, 70% Chicano.

I was going to say, is it a good mix of people down there, diversity and stuff? You're not getting just white and black people in Albuquerque, New Mexico. No. It was mostly white and Latino. But it was kind of like it had a pretty strong middle class. My old man was a surgeon and he was in the service for a couple of years in Alaska doing his, I guess it would have been his internship with the Air Force. And it was just like an up and coming town.

So we just ended up there. But you know, it had a big university. It was kind of a life changing, I still, I love it there. But yeah, I go back, my old man's still there, kinda, he's half there. It's slowly fading. That one we were talking before we recorded, I'm blown away. Both your parents are still alive and with us. 86.

Well, it happened to me when they were children. I mean, my mom was 22. My dad was like 26. Are they still together? No, no, no. No, that's a long, complicated journey. Okay. Yeah.

But I used to do a joke about it, about how my parents got divorced. When they got divorced, I was like 35, and I just didn't know who to live with. It was a rare Mark Maron joke joke. But no, Albuquerque was great. I got a nice mix of just classic American townie, and nice mix of Chicano culture. Then I had a job across from the University

of New Mexico and there was a guy in the record store next door who turned me on to all the weird art music and there was a lot of art around. My mom was a painter. So I got a well-rounded kind of education. I'm plenty of Skinnerd and plenty of Brian Eno. I'll go both places. Give me one that you, a bigger Albuquerque, like somebody back

then that you heard early on that became bigger later that we all didn't know. Like a Leonard Skinner. Dude, I saw, I swear to God, man, I saw ACDC with Bon Scott open for Journey at the civic auditorium. I mean, that's a hell of a show. And I, and I'll be candid. I was there to see Journey. Yeah. Who will, I mean, that's a hell of a show. And I'll be candid, I was there to see Journey. Yeah, who, I mean, I'm sure you were.

And then ACDC came out and you're like, what the fuck is happening? And that's Bon Scott ACDC. First tour, first tour. Is that right? The first ACDC tour. And I did some event in San Francisco, it's some radio event with the bass player of Journey,

and he swears that they opened for them. And I'm like, no, dude, there was no way. He remembers it differently? Yeah, yeah. Does he? Yeah, but there's no way. Journey was huge. Yeah, yeah.

Huge, yeah, so yeah, I saw them. Who else did I see when I was a kid? We used to go, like, I had friends who were, I saw the Nuge probably three times, and I didn't even really like him that much, but my buddy liked him. We saw, I was there, I saw the nudes probably three times. And I didn't even really like them that much, but my buddy liked them. We saw, I was there, I saw Van Halen's first tour

at the pit, but I was too fucked up. Some guy from high school gave me a pipe and I took a hit off it and I just, I don't know what was in it, but I just ended up throwing up and laying on the floor, but they were four seats. So I was- You were where you're supposed to be, bro.

Yeah, yeah. I saw- You You were where you're supposed to be, bro. Yeah, yeah. I saw. You were right where you're supposed to be. I took it all the way down. So this is what I wanted to ask. No wait, we went to Sunday Jam 2 in Denver. We drove 10 hours in two cars. And I just remember we had, I worked at this restaurant.

We'd gone there and kind of, you know, be happy. It was either, it was probably before they opened and we just made a bunch of sandwiches and took a bunch of shit. I just remember driving, my buddy Chris had a Maverick, a white Maverick, and I had a shit brown B210 Datsun. That's what we had. Really? Yeah. That's my B210 Brown. Yeah, first car. And the whole way up, we were just throwing, dressing it. It was just a food fight on wheels.

But on that bill, we drove up there. It was a UFO, Hart, the cars, the rockets, and oh, was there one other one? It's a weird bill, but it was all day, and you're just out there in the heat, and my buddy, he's not really my friend, but Andy, he took acid, and he was just watching, a mile high stadium, there's a giant horse,

and I think he was just watching the horse walk around the top of the, the statue of the horse was moving around. But that was growing up, we drove to Denver once before to see Richie Blackmore's Rainbow, because my buddy Dave was into him and John Cougar Melon Camp opened for Richie Blackmore's Rainbow in Denver after that first John Cougar record before he added the Melon Camp, which is a great record. And then dropped the Cougar. Yeah, exactly. That one had, I Need a Lover on it.

Won't drive me crazy. That was a damn going. Oh yeah. So that's that scene. You mentioned a friend, a pipe, all this. I know you've been very open about addiction and stuff. So what was the first thing that you took or that you had where you were like this? This is good? Yeah.

And how old were you? Well, we were very good at drinking and driving in drinking and driving, you know, in high school. You know, in Albuquerque, you got your driver's license at 15. Is that right? Yeah, driver's license. Yeah, 14, nine months awareness permit. So we all had a... And was it alcohol 18 or 21 then? No, I think it was 21. Because West Virginia, like when I was in high school, was still 18, but I was only 14 at the time.

And then it became... We all had these fake ideas. The funny thing about the fake ideas, the ideas were like there were about four of us that used to hang out. And you know, we're kids, we're 15, 16. And there was a guy that used to go to show up at parties. And the way they made the fake IDs was that he had a board. You know what I'm talking about? With the cut out, with the New Mexico license on it and he'd stand with a Polaroid and then you'd go get it laminated and that was the thing,

but he couldn't change the name. So all four of us were Tom Bynes. Everyone was Tom Bynes. And if we were gonna try to get into a bar, we had to like space out, you know, like, you go first and I'll wait for some people to go in. But usually you're just hanging out in front of liquor stores trying to get, you know, like, you go first and I'll wait for some people to go in and but usually you're just hanging out in front of liquor stores trying to get, you know, shitty grownups to buy you booze and they did.

A lot of them did. They did. Pinus, they're in a six pack. I didn't love beer because it was too filling. So I would always get, because I was a Keith Richards fan, I would smoke Marlboro's and I would get Jack Daniel's and it was, I don't Jack Daniel's. Did you like it though? I don't think I ever liked it. And I was always the throwing up guy. I was always the problem. Eventually the evening would kind of revolve around me because they'd have to pull me off a lawn next door, pull over and get me out of a car. But it was booze. There was some pills around, but not dangerous pills, just yellow

jackets. What just yellow jackets. What are yellow jackets? Just speed, white cross. In half the time, it wasn't even real. I guess I did blow pretty early on. High school we talking about? Yeah. Oh yeah, there's definitely some blow in high school, but not a massive amount.

Weed was around, but I didn't love it. It wasn't until I did my graduate work in drug addiction once I got out of the house. It didn't really become a massive problem until I came out here and was a doorman at the Comedy Store. But in college, I was going at the Coke pretty good. And was that was your drug of choice when you finally settled in? Was it Coke? Yeah, Coke and booze. And boo know, weed was... And booze too. Sure, yeah. Even though you didn't really like it, you just...

Well, you know, I got better at it. I grew to like it. I, you know, I wasn't doing shots of, flaming shots of Southern. Yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah. Or chugging half pints of Jack Daniels. But what are you drinking? I think I went through a lot of different booze.

You know, vodka was, I think, the easiest. You know, that was always good, mixed good. And then, you know, if was, I think the easiest, you know, that was always good, mixed good. And then, you know, if you really develop a taste for it, you can drink it straight. Right before I got sober, I started to understand Scotch. I stuck with bourbon, you know, bourbon was always around. I used to like bourbon, but I wouldn't drink it straight. You know, just mix it up.

But it wasn't until, uh, the problem I think really happened out here. And I, and I've told this story before, cause it's, it's a great, it's, it's a until the problem I think really happened out here. And I've told this story before, because it's a great story for drugs, but also for the comedy store, for kind of hero worship in a way, or being part of a celebrity situation that goes south. A lot of lessons were learned, you know. Because when I came out here, I'd been in college, you know, five years. I was on a five-year

plan. Fortunately, my parents, you know, had money and didn't want me in the house. So, I took that extra year. And, but I was doing a lot of blow and drinking. I thought I was, you know, like the real deal. You know, when you're younger, you're like, I'm the shit. I'm like, you know, I'm hard, man. And I'm wearing, you know, like mirror sunglasses. And are you a doorman at the time or you already passed? Well, that's what happened.

So I come out here after college, I go back to New Mexico for the summer. I'm doing, I'm doing coke. And I think I'm good at it. And drinking. Good at coke. Yeah, drinking and fucking. Not in comedy yet. No, I had not done any comedy, a little bit in college, but I didn't stick with it one

summer. I was drinking pretty heavy then too. When I first started doing comedy, that was probably, I did a thing in college with another guy in a team thing, 84, and he went on to be a, you know, he's a big movie director. And then I tried solo the summer of 84, 85, and I'd do an open mics and stuff, but I didn't stick with it. And I waited till I graduated to come out here.

So I come out here to LA and I want to be a comic. And I don't know where, how do you even start that? How do you even do it? And I go to the improv and I go to the comedy store, doing what I think are auditions, but they were probably just open mics. But I remember I did the Monday at the comedy store and Mitzi was there and I had like three minutes,

but it never went anywhere. I didn't even know how to follow up on it. So I started doing work as a PA, just getting in that circuit where you just get on shoots and you do shit work. It was a funny drug story with that. I was a PA on something called Kid Songs. They were making videos for kids and they had themes and this one was a circus theme.

So the Circus Vargas was docked out there in the valley somewhere. So it's just, you know, they're just buying time and feeding tigers and shit out there. In the heat. Yeah, yeah. And I'm out there like, you know, half, you know, half awake and drinking all night. And I'm just running around getting coffee for people. But they're doing all the, they have kids there

and a director and the clowns are there. I remember one night, one day after we shot the clowns, there were two clowns. And they're like, you want to come back to our trailer, get high? I'm like, yeah, fuck yeah. So I go to this like little trailer, the clowns, there were two clowns. And they're like, you want to come back to our trailer, get high? I'm like, yeah, fuck yeah. So I go to this like little trailer where these clowns live and they sit down and pull a bag out and these are all in the joint.

And I'm like, oh, wait, wait, wait, you got to take the makeup off. Wait, they're still in costume right now. Yeah, like, I don't think I can handle it. I'd like to. You can't get high with clowns. No, dude. I mean, Jesus Christ, that would be scary shit. Yeah, I can't handle it.

So. Watching clowns do blow. Yeah, we were just making weed, but it would have been good with the blow. So. Oh, shit. So what happens is this is a drug story. It's all the way through it, right? So, you know, I get a job as a PA on some shoot that Mitzi's doing. She was doing, she was trying to make a comedy channel. So she was doing this whole series of skits and

sketches with all the comics of that time, where you probably wouldn't even know a lot of them. Like Karen Haber, Danny Stone, Charlie Burnett, Joey Kamen, Jan Hart, all the crew from the late 80s there. Because this was like, what was it, 86? 86, I think, let me get that right, see, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 86, 87, 81, 82, I think it was 87, right? So I'm on this, yeah, I think that's right. So I'm on a shoot that she's producing, I'm the PA, and I realize it's my moment, you know, I see her, and I go up to her, I go, Mitzi, I'm Mark Maron. Do you remember me? I auditioned for you.

This was like weeks and weeks after. She goes, oh yeah, you're funny. You can be the doorman. You can be a head. No, she said, you be the doorman. I didn't even know what that meant. She go talk to Becker, which was her assistant, Mike Becker. I go to Becker and I'm like,

she just said I could be a doorman. He's like, okay, do you said I could be a doorman. And he's like, okay, do you wanna be the head doorman? I'm like, what do I gotta do? Well, you just gotta do the schedule for the rest of the doorman. And I'm like, okay. But you had to be a comic to be a doorman,

and I was a system. So now I got the gig as a doorman. So now I'm in at the store and also the head doorman, which was a pain in the ass, because she's opening a place out in Universal City, and I gotta get all these, like these gypsies, like these fucking guys. They, you know, she's like, get them all black jackets. I'm like, where the fuck am I going to find some?

Dine. I'm down Chinatown trying to buy these guys jackets. Who are those guys? It was like, uh, Jay Pope, uh, Mitch. What the hell was that guy's name? A lot of, they're gone, Rod Blackman. So I'm in, and you're a non-paid regular when you're a doorman. And I had a, it was so funny because there were other guys who were non-paid regulars and the belly room used to just be for non-paid regulars. There's no produce shows, no nothing. It was all in-house.

And usually to get people into the belly room, you'd hang around that door in the hallway to the main room and they'd do two shows or three shows in the main room. And when people were leaving through the back, you'd be like, come on, come on upstairs, more comedy. And I remember that in order to get stage time in the- And so then you didn't have to pay a separate fee. Once you're in, you go ahead and get up there and go. No, it was like strictly development for non-paids.

But I remember I had audition- No, I'm sorry, I mean, as a fan, I'm leaving the show. I don't have to buy a ticket to go upstairs again. You're just saying, hey, if you want more, we got free comedy upstairs. That's right, exactly. Totally. And I remember I had to audition for another comic

to do Time in the Belly Room. Yeah, because each of them had their nights, you know? And I remember I had to audition for this guy, Chris Verweel. Well, I don't know what happened to that guy. He used to have a banjo that had an applause sign on it that he could light up. Anyway, he said, you got to do a few minutes if you want to be on my show. And literally I did a few minutes for just him in the belly. What? I was fucking nuts. All right. So here's what happens.

What? He was fucking nuts. All right, so here's what happens. At that time, Sam Kennison, he hadn't broke huge yet, but he was about to. And whatever that mythology with him and the stories, but I had seen him on TV and I didn't like him that much. I thought it was a gimmick, the screaming thing. And he wasn't really my bag, but he was kind of the,

the comedy story is very susceptible to charismatic egos. The guys can take it over and it happens. And at this time he was sort of that guy. But he was on the road when I got the gig and I met Carl LeBeau, his best friend. I knew Carl, yeah. And Carl was like, so you're the new head doer guy, huh? And I'm like, yeah, he goes, we're all doer men.

And I'm like, okay. So you're part of it now. And I'm like, all right, dude. And he goes, I'm gonna give you a present. I'm like, what's happening? And he gives me a watch. He takes a watch, not a good one. Off his wrist, he goes, now you're like one of us, you're in.

And Sam was on the road at the time. I don't know where he was, maybe he was shooting a movie, but I met Carl first and it was already weird. And because I was a doorman, you know, you're up for judgment. You know, you're a comer, right? So Sam comes back and at this point, the alcohol. So I was living out here in Culver City with my buddy Steve and then he wanted to move his buddy Pete Bergen, the director, who was just a kid then. And they moved me to the couch and I was being treated like, you know, they were kind of being shitty to me. And I got, you know, I got kicked out of there kind of and I moved down the hall in the same building to this woman's house

who needed a roommate. And within a week, I drank all her booze. And within three weeks, there was an intervention. She brought her friends and her boyfriend over and said, you got to leave. And I talked to Becker and he's like, well, you can live up in Cresthill, which is the house behind the comedy store that Mitzi owned for comics. But supposedly, we had to pay rent. I don't think I ever did, but we're supposed to. So I'm living in Cresthill. I'm a doorman. And then Sam comes back from the road and he comes up to me.

He's like, so you're the guy. You're the new guy. And I'm like, yeah, man. He's like, well, what are you doing? Where are you living? I'm telling him I'm up in Crest Hill. And like really one of the first times I met Sam, he comes up to Crest Hill with like, you know,

an eight ball or a couple grams. And we're just sitting there, just me and him. And that's the first time I met this fucker. And I think I'm a professional blow guy, but this is graduate level shit, dude. So, so me, so me and Sam, you know, he's, and Sam's like, do you know his stuff? He's intense, dude. Yeah, I am a massive Sam. Okay. So Sam's like Sam, Sam is Sam, you know, all the time.

He really is. You say you thought it was a gimmick. So I'm saying even off. Well, what I learned about him is like the gimmick was, you know, Steve Pearl, well, I'll tell you. So I'm up at Crest Hill with Sam and he's putting coke out. Just the two of you. Just two of us. And it's late, you know, it's after the shows and he comes up there and he's like, look me in the eye, Marin. You know, and I'm just like this fucking angry Jewish kid, you know, from fucking New Mexico who thinks he's, he's the shit and I got my long hair and

shit, my John Lennon glass. He said, look me out and look at me in the eye Marin. Can't trust Amanda. I'm looking in the eye and man. Can't trust a man, don't look me in the eye. And I'm like, all right, we're doing this. I'm looking Sam in the eye. And he's chopping lines. He's like, I'm gonna save you. He's already probably coked out of his mind there already.

He's intense. And he's like, I'm gonna save you some time. I'm like, okay. We're just doing blow. And then he's like, he's telling me shit. There's supposedly lessons to be learned. Then out of nowhere then he's like, he's telling me shit. There's supposedly lessons to be learned. Then out of nowhere, he's like, you ever burn money? I have not burned money.

So we're gonna burn some money. Yeah. So he pulls out like a lot of cash. We're just sitting there burning money. And I'm like, all right, I don't know what I'm learning. This is your first time meeting Sam Kettison. And we're burning money. We're getting jacked.

And so we're fucking gacked, dude. And we run out of blow. It's like two or three in the morning. He's like, fuck, we got to get some more blow. Right. She goes, let's go. And I'm like, where are we going? He's like, you got a car? I'm like, yeah. So we get in my Toyota. I go to Toyota then. And we're driving down Sunset. And the dealer was right over there on Crescent Heights. And down Sunset and the dealer was right over there on Crescent Heights. Down Sunset, take a right on Crescent Heights, there's apartments right there. His name was Greg. Greg doesn't know Sam's coming.

It's like the middle of the night and Sam's like jamming on the fucking intercom. It's me, man. You got anything? I'm like, what is happening? I'm like, fuck. We're in the car. It was so funny because we're in the car and Sam's like all drunk and coke and he's like going in and out and he like he I remember he jumps up he looks at me and goes I don't even know you you could kill me. I'm like where are we going dude? Where are we going?

He's worried about you. So we get so we're pushing on the scene and you just hear this guy on the other end of the intercom like hello and like it's me you got anything let me up. So we go pushing on the scene and you just hear this guy on the other end of the intercom like, hello. And he's like, it's me. You got anything? Let me up. So we go up and this guy who was actually a hairdresser during the day down on Melrose. Hilarious, by the way. Yeah. And who has a roommate, a woman roommate. And we get up there and Greg's in his bathroom. He's like, what do you got? Just be quiet. Don't wake my roommate up.

So we go into the back and he's like, you got anything? And he gives Sam a bend or half gram probably. And Sam's doing coke. And he's like, you got anything? And he gives Sam a bend or half gram probably. And Sam's doing coke and he's like, got any booze? And all Greg had was those miniatures from the airplane. So Sam just like sits down on the floor and he's like got a little miniature vodka. He's drinking it. And I'm like, yeah, nice to meet you, man.

And then Sam just fucking goes out. He just passes the fuck out. At his disguise place. On the floor. And I'm like, all right, well, I guess I'm gonna go. And the guy goes, you're not leaving him here. And I'm like, what do you want me to do? He's like, I don't want him to pull a Belushi on me.

I'm like, I'm a big hearted guy. So now I gotta get the fucking, you know, Kinnison up. And he was a, you know. Yeah, that's not easy. Yeah, and I get him into the car and I take him back to Cresto and he literally sweeps on the floor in the living room, like just, you know, face down on the floor in front of it. And he used to sleep there a lot because we had a lot

of parties up there. He liked to sleep on the floor. He did? Even in his house. Yeah. So, he's sleeping on the floor. So, that was my first encounter with him. And then I was sort of in the, now I was in the group. I wasn't part of the entourage, but somehow I was in the group because I was the point guy at the store. So back then it was like no cover night. I can't remember if it was Sunday or Monday, but there was one night that all the rooms were no cover

and that was like a shit show. All the freaks came in from all over Hollywood. All the metal guys from the Roxy and the other one, Gazari's and all the porn people, all the fucking druggies and weirdos would come because that was Sam's night, man. Like it was like no cover and around 1130, he'd roll in, hit the main room stage

and that's where he was doing that rock and roll shit and that's where he became big. So my job became, you know, and I used to say like, you know, we used to walk around, there was a couple of us living up the house, me and fat Todd and Schubert was around some other people. But like I used to say, like, I can feel him coming, man. He's almost here. And Sam would show up with Carl and whoever, you know, drug dealers, whoever porn star, he would come up to me and go like, all right, man, we're gonna come to the house later.

He'd give me like 300 bucks. And I'd go down to the pink dog. Back then, too. Yeah. It wasn't for coke. It was just to get cigarettes, get booze, get mixers. And like, you know, over time, I realized like we got to hide shit because it's going to go on for a while and there's going to be a lot of stragglers up there. A lot of weirdos are going to come.

And I think it was Mitzi's house. And I'm like, yeah, come on. And Tamayo Otsuki, who was a comic that Sam used to date, lived upstairs. So most of the time after two nights of being up, Sam would just be pounding on her door. Tamayo, it was crazy. So we go up there.

I go get booze and like, you know, I knew what everybody wanted and I go set up the fucking store for after this, set up the house for after the store closed. Then he'd come up with who the fuck knew who. Sometimes comics, sometimes weirdos, sometimes people that would steal shit. And we just do those runs, man. We do two or three days, just do them blow just up.

And that was the fucking thing, right? And that went on a lot. And it became a little weird. Becker used to call us the Manson family. You know, Mitzi was kind of getting upset because she would still think it was a nice house. And sometimes like one time she bought us, you know, she had new wicker furniture delivered to the house and, you know, in like, lounge chairs with umbrellas for

the patio and like, what is she like, we, you know, within weeks, we were like, there was a gas fireplace and we're burning the wicker furniture. like the umbrellas on the lounge chairs were busted within days. And she's like, what the fuck is happening up there? And like, it was crazy and it was a fairly condensed period of time. But what started to happen, what led to me getting sober the first time was I still had to work, man. I had to drive the fucking Jeep for her. I had to do the phones. So I'm doing the phone some days and some days I'm driving the Jeep,

going to get her chicken salad or driving, you know, ax to the Burbank so they could go to the dunes when she had a room out there. So I'd get up on one hour sleep and I'd go down the Jeep and I'd see John Mendoza and John Campanaro going like, what the fuck, man, we're late. And I'm like, sorry, man. I'm like, oh shit, no gas.

It was a fucking nightmare. I used to go over to Steve Pearl and Steve Kravitz's house because I needed to nap. Because they lived in Hollywood, the comics. I remember this very funny. One time I went over to their house during the day with the Jeep and we went to 7-Eleven. I got one of those vitamin packs.

Yeah. They used to sell. And I bought a vitamin pack and I had it in my hand. I'm with Pearl. And I'm like, I don't even know what's in these things. And he goes, you would pick shards of glass out of a half gram of blow, but you're worried about the vitamins. 7-Eleven pack. So because I wasn't sleeping, dude, I started to get psychosis. And I was already a little freaked out. I was hanging out with heavy dudes, pretty demonic. The store kind of felt as, you know, it was a little satanic

because Kennison was a little satanic. And the people that were around were a little dark. And you got all the ghost history and shit in that building. And now I'm starting to lose my mind. I'm starting to, you know, like it wasn't even a conspiracy theory. It was some mystical universe I was living in. I thought, you know, Sam was an agent of chaos. And the Hollywood towers, the hotel, Sunset Tower,

that was all gutted because they were renovating it. So it was this big concrete, gray structure that was empty. And on top of it, it's still there. There's like an altar up there. It's an altar structure. And I would stand on the fucking front porch of the comedy store, out of my mind going like, something's gonna go down.

The end of the world's gonna start up on that altar. You know, and I was like, I was out of my mind, dude. It was bad and I was hearing voices and it was fucked up. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like, it got a little weird and got a little scary, but I was hanging on because I thought, you know, I thought I had a job in the mystical, you know, like I thought I, you know,

I was going to be delivered some information that could possibly change the course of history. That's where I was at. And it got to the point where I was sleeping in my closet, you know, because it was too scary. And I didn't know when those idiots were going to come and make me get up and do blow. I didn't have anything to come down. You know, like a lot of them had like mandrakes or downers or stuff. And I think there was even maybe some dope around. I don't know. But I knew that other people were sleeping. I was not.

And I was, I was drifting. This was going on for a while. And would put it up Sam's ass a bit because I knew eventually you want these people out of the house. I was living there and I knew his breaking point. I would push his buttons and I was getting under his skin and I knew that. That's the only reason why I have any sort of personality is I have enough, fuck you and me, to try not to get totally absorbed. And so what happens is, there's a lot of this going on and it all gets weird, but there was this Satanist guy that used to hang around, his name was Dave. And he was like, he's a heroin junkie.

And he had like a pentagram tattooed over his heart. And like, Mark of the Beast on his arm. But he looked like Christopher Walken. He was not like a physically threatening guy, but he was a creepy guy. Is he a comic? No. He'd just hang around, you know, he'd show up and, you know, there was a lot of fixtures around. That place always had that kind of vibe. I remember one funnier part was the room I lived in in Cresto used to be Dice's. And one time Dice came up, he's like, you're living in this room? You ever get a blowjob in the tub? And I'm like, no,

he's like, oh, you got to get a blowjob in the tub. All these people were around. And some nights, one night Ted Nugent came up to the house and we all had to not do co because he's straight. You know, so everybody had to behave and like hang out with the nudes and there were a lot of stars that would come around. I remember one time Tommy Lee from Motley Crue came up to the house and I was like, what would a 15 year old want to do? And I'm like, we got to do blow off the back of my guitar. So I'm sitting there with my telecaster, you know, doing lines with Tommy Lee, that kind

of shit. But so Dave London, the Satanist, Sam didn't like him, you know, because, you know, Sam was, you know, Mr. Satan. And also comes from that religious background as well. Yeah, I think Sam really thought that I think he believed, like he believed, you know, a couple, there were a couple couple of pretty good lessons, like shortly before the shit hit the fan. I think Sam was still a preacher in his mind and that he believed that, you know, if he had enough time to get in under the wire, he could. I believe you. Yeah.

And because some guy just wrote an article and there's another brother, you know, there's Bill Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, I saw some of that. Yeah, yeah. But what was I going to tell you? The demonist, the devilist. Well, that guy, but like right before the shit really hit the fan, Carl had a wife,

Christy, who went on to, you know, post it. After Sam died, she had, I believe she had Sam's kid. And I think that's real. I met Carl and he did share that story with me. Yeah, yeah. And the Kinnison's never copped to it. The way he told me was they were all out partying while she's giving birth and then they come back to the hospital and, or maybe they're at a show, Carl comes in and during child

birth she says, this is Sam's baby or something like that. This is Carl telling me this before he passed. But Sam was already dead, right? He was. Yeah. And no, no, no, he was not. Okay. No, no, not when the baby was born. He was not dead. She said this, and the doctor tells him, listen, your wife or girlfriend is under a lot of Medicaid. Don't even listen to what they'll say the wildest thing. And he doesn't. But then after a couple of years, Sam passes and the daughter starts to look a lot like Sam. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember, yeah. And Carl actually was, I'm going to watch my words. I don't want to say pioneering, but Carl was a big leader in, so he got stuck paying child support. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I know for his whole life. I interviewed him. And he was, you know, he went down to the courts here in LA and was fighting and was legally, so I actually, I'm pretty proud of this, when he first came back to California after all of it, and we're talking years later, I gave him his first spot at the Hollywood Improv on one of my shows because I knew who he was. I didn't know first spot at the Hollywood Improv on one of my shows

Because I knew who he was. I didn't know that When he came back, yeah, he was like kind of living in Texas I think like off the books so that he could keep working and not be docked. Yeah, a great comic great He was funnier than Sam. He was great. I would get up I'd see him do an hour and I think he's gonna come do the same set. He'd do a whole nother fucking hour It's great. It was almost like performance art. Yeah, he was great. The Adventures of Red West, Elvis's best friend. But he ends up, you're right, his daughter is not his daughter, it's Sam's and-

And Christie was kind of kooky and intense, but they were kind of this weird trio. They were all fucking each other. Cause like, that's the thing I said, cause it wasn't a situation where his best friend fucked his wife. Right. Like at the time he was like, well we were like, I don't know if we- He says who got her pregnant.

Yeah, that kind of thing. Yes. But anyway, so leading up to it, cause Carl like, you know, they were all, they were intense dude. And Sam was kind of a meanie, you know? But I remember there was one time I was just like hanging out in the parking lot of the comedy store during the day. I live in the house I go make coffee and i listen my cds in the or i lived at the place.

Added nowhere salmon car on the road christy shows up in a new rx7. And she's like, you want to go for a ride in my new car? I'm like, all right, get high. OK, so we're driving around the hole and smoking weed in our new RX-7. Then she drops me off at the at the fucking store. And I'm like, man, whatever. And like then they all come back from the road and Carl's all bitchy. He's not fucking he's like ice in me and fucking. And what the fuck is happening?

And, you know, Sam takes me out in the parking lot. It was at night. He's got his arm around me. He goes, Marron, you never want to put yourself in a position where a man has to trust you. Cause I had fucking ridden his dumb car, like whatever, you know, like, all right, weirdos. So I'm not the one fucking his friends.

Oh, you're impressive. It's sound, I can hear him saying shit like this to you with his little bit fucking head wrap and shit. Crazy. I used to web fucking with that guy. But anyway, so here's what happens. This is where, this is the first bottom with the drugs, because I'm gone, dude. And like the night of Sam's HBO special premiered, you know, that first special, which really made him that in the record.

And we all go to Carl's house. I remember I go over there with Richard Belzer, because I'm hanging around the parking lot again. And Belzer, I'm like, are you going over to Carl's? He's like, I'm not unless you're going. So I get into the fucking El Dorado. Belzer used to drive this El Dorado. He's great. He used to have a certain type of weed back when, you know, you still had to look for good weed. He used to call it, I said, how's this weed? He's like, it's the hammer. He used to call it the hammer. So we get high, we're driving over to Carl's. I just remember we pull up right as Sam's crossing the street with some kind of druggy

girl and fucking Belzer just guns it for Sam, like just guns it. And Sam didn't know who he was. And like, it scared the fuck out of him. And he comes around the car and he sees it's Belzer. He goes, oh, it's you. And Belzer says, yeah, I did that to Belushi once too. Look what happened to him. I used to love when people could fuck with Sam Belzer

and give a fuck. So the funniest thing about that thing is like, everyone was gacked and Christie had ordered like a million pieces of sushi that no one could even think about eating because everyone's all blown. So sushi was just sitting there. So after the fucking HBO special,

Sam brings all his guitars and shit up to the house and we jam out on the patio. I couldn't keep up with them. They were like kind of- Sam could play? Yeah, yeah, he could play guitar pretty good. And Carl too. That's right. He did the wild thing video and all that.

Yeah, yeah. That was the downside. He really did play. He could play it. Yeah. I think he always wanted to, but he could never figure out... I used to ask him, like, you ever do guitar in the act? He's like, I never could figure out how to put it in there without being a hack. And then like, yeah, the music stuff and that first record is the record, you know, in the HBO special. That was it. Yeah. So we'd have this big jam session up there. And, you know, Sam leaves the gear up there,

his guitars and shit, and I put them in my room, you know, for safety, lock them in the room. And I can't remember, it's the day after that night, you know, a lot, there was a lot of little events, but this was the main event. And I've told this story a couple of times publicly. So we're going to do a party up at the house. You know, I go set the house up and you know, his guitars are still in the bedroom. And so a bunch of people come up and one of them's the fucking Satanist, Dave London, who Sam doesn't like, you know. And we're all at the table, we just sit at that big table and do the blow. And there's a good crowd of people.

Couple of things happened that night. There was this little guy, George, he used to be the Booker, and he was kind of a little, little wormy guy, but he was up there too. And I don't know, he pissed Sam off somehow. And it was already, it got a weird vibe. It was like an Altamont vibe,

like something wasn't right, you know. And your drugs weren't working. Shit was going down. Yeah. And you know, a little George pisses Sam off and Sam throws a drink in his face, punches him and I'm like, what the fuck is that? Yeah. So he splits and then we're all sitting at the table and creepy Dave is there. And I think that George, he might've been, that was just the way that Sam fought. Drink first and then a punch.

So it might've been another night because in the middle of the fucking, I don't know what day it was in this bender here, but creepy Dave, the Satanist goes, you're not real Satanist, just saying. I'm gonna tell Anton LeVay about you. Anton LeVay, the head of the Satanic church, he was like a carnival huckster and whatever. It was just dumb Satanist problems. So...

Just some Satanist bullshit. Yeah. So, Sam lunges over the table and fucking throws a drink in the guy's face, grabs his collar, clocks him, and it's quite chaos. I'm like, what the fuck? And then I'm like, I say to Dave, I'm like, you gotta get out of here, dude. It's fucking, you know, this is insane. It's all insanity. And he's like, he's not leaving. So I don't know why, but I put him in my bedroom

and I kind of locked him in there. I said, just fucking be cool until it's like, we can break this shit up. But it's all fucking crazy. And then I split because I got to pick my buddy up, my buddy Bill Dodonna, I got to pick my buddy up, my buddy Bill, Dodonna, I got to pick him up at the airport. He's coming in from Boston and I got to go get him. And they're all,

you know, it's, they're all fucking, it's all crazy. So I leave the guy in my bedroom. I leave whatever's going on there. I got to go to the airport. So I go pick up Bill and, and, you know, I sleep at his hotel, you know, on the couch cause I didn't want to go back. It was too fucked up. And I'm telling him what's going on. I'm telling him, you know, I sweep it at his hotel, you know, on the couch, cause I didn't want to go back. It was too fucked up. And I'm telling him what's going on. I'm telling him, you know, I can't,

I'm pretty tight with him and you know, we're just doing blow and shit. He's like, really? I, so we go sleep at the hotel and I'm like, let's go back up to the house this morning. Now we get there and he's, he's still Sam's still at the house. It's morning now. We get there and he's still, Sam's still at the table. He's still there. Yeah, and this is, most people had gone. There was a weird, I remember who was there, but I don't mention names because it was the end of the road for one of them.

Who, like that night fucked her up to the degree where she never looked at drugs again. She's a comic. There's a couple other people there. And I walk in with my buddy Bill and I see them all there. And I don't remember I saw that like I showed in my room first and the door had been kicked in. And my bed's all fucked up and all the gear is gone. What the fuck happened? So I walk into the dining room where the table is and I go, what's going on? And I'm with my buddy Bill and Sam goes, I pissed on your bed, Marin. And I'm like, what? Because I pissed on your fucking bed, Marin.

I'm like, why? And he goes, because you let that fucking weirdo sleep with my guitars. This is how weird it got, Ryan. Yeah. And I'm like, what? And then according to Schubert, and I hope it's true, I then turned to my friend Bill and said, I told you I knew him.

Ha ha ha! I said the same thing. This is a guy going, this is the fucksave cancer. Yeah. So. That was hilarious. After that, I didn't sleep in the bed again. I went over to Crappits'. It was like territorial fucked up cucking bullshit. And I was like, well, fuck all this.

And I'm already here. I'm already sleeping in the closet. So, you know, I go to Kravitz's because he's out of town. So I'm sweeping over there and I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm kicked out of the group, you know, like Kandace and they're all fucking isomim. And there was this drug dealer that they always had deal with. Majid. That was another fucking guy, dude. This Palestinian dude, Majid. He used to do, he used to, he's Sam used to take him on the road because he was one of those guys, you know, no matter where you landed, he'd go find it. You know, he's,

Oh yeah. Yeah. He's that guy. Yeah. I remember one time I did a run with him was to highlight my life. I'm sorry. Sam would just take that guy and be like, you go find us coke while we're here. Yeah.

Yeah. That's hilarious. Dude, what a job. He was always around, man. And I remember one night we were up at the house. It was a big night for me. Because Majed was like, the backstory on Majed, supposedly, was that he had been in, he was a Palestinian, and he'd fought against Israel in the Six-Day War.

Then he came here and became a citizen, went to Vietnam. Oh, shit. I don't know if it's true, but the story was that one time he was on the ground and they were in the shit and the choppers were going to come in and get him, but they said, it's too hot, we can't get in there. And Magid said, well, I got you in my sights, so it's your call. That was the myth of Magic. But now he's like this, he always used to say, it's only rock and roll, man.

Heavy dude. But I remember one night, we ran out of Coke at the party and Magic's like, I'll go get more Coke. And I'm like, can I go, you want me to drive you? Where are we going? It's like three in the morning. He's like, no, no, I don't think you should come. I'm like, no, I'll come.

So we drive out in the middle of the night and we pull up at a house. I remember where it was. And I'm waiting for him. He goes in, he comes back in the car and he's got like a half ounce. He's like, you got a magazine or something in here? And I'm like, yeah, you know, I found you like some magazine in the back. He's just ripping off squares to make bindles and he's eyeballing it. He's eyeballing half grams and grams with his fingers. And then he like, it's got this fucking half ounce of Coke.

And I just see him like scarface it two fingers, like, you would just, and I'm like, what the fuck man. And I look at him like, can I, can I do it? And I'm like, yeah, I'm like, well I'm fucking living it, man. I'm living it. Fuck. Yeah. So anyway, Yeah, I'm fucking living it, man. I'm living it. Fuck yeah. So anyway. So what happens, so I get kicked out of group and I lose my shit in the parking on the comedy store, like I just kind of break down because I'm out of my mind and I'm fucking breaking glasses and I'm like, fuck all the fuck this place. Satan, you know, whatever.

And Schubert, you know, Schubert comes out and he had kind of gotten sucked into the crew, too. He had been with Dice and then we went south and he was with with them. He's like, dude, you got to chill out, man. You got to chill out. It's all right. It's going to be all right. I'm like, you know, fuck you. You're one of them. You know, I'm losing it. And then the drug dealer Magi pulls up and I go, hey man, fuck, it's all fucked up.

I'm out of the group. They kicked me out, man. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. And you know, Magic's just sort of like, yeah, you gotta get out of here, do your own thing. You know, when the drug dealer tells you to leave. Yeah, it is time to go. Bro.

He's just like. Yeah, yeah, you gotta get out. You gotta get the fuck out of here. So I go back to Cravitz's, and I remember I'm laying in my bed. And I swear to you, dude, because I always had this ethic about drugs that if I ever lost my mind, like you're going to know, this time to pull back. I always had that in my head, that like, you know, if you can't. But I remember I was laying in bed and I'm listening to the voices. I used to do a joke about it.

I used to do a joke. Uh, it was like, when you hear voices in your head, it's never one. It's always many. And you spend a lot of time trying to get them to pick a fucking leader, you know? So, so I'm laying in my bed and I'm thinking like, you know, like how far out can I go? I swear to you a a voice, clear, outside of my head said, you've gone far enough. Yeah, yeah.

So I packed up everything that- It's that Carlin Acid joke, like, we're done. Yeah. You don't need to keep doing it, like, we're done. That's right, so I packed up everything I could in my car. I paid off my drug debts. I gave away some shit, and I just left. Cold turkey right there for your first try.

I'm like, I was pretty sure I was gonna be chased. I didn't know by what, either by Sam and those weirdos or mystical forces. Like I was like way out. And where are you going? I was like, I'm gonna go to Tucson, because my brother's there. He's in school out there.

And I'm like, fuck it, I just need a break. So I'm driving to Tucson. I remember I see one of the worst car accidents I ever saw in my life on the road. There's bodies and shit. I'm like, all right, this is a sign. I got to get some rest. I pull off between here and Tucson. I'm in a Motel 6. I got a six pack. There's no blow. I remember Lauren Green is on TV and I'm like, I don't know what this is it, man. I'm going down and I get out to Tucson and I go to my brother's. I'm like, dude, I'm fucking, you know, I'm in trouble. And he's like, fuck, dude, I'm graduating.

We're going to party. I'm like, new crew. OK, yes, I'm back. Yeah. That's a little bit. But I go home. That's hilarious. But I go home and I eventually get back to Albuquerque. I tell my parents I'm fucking gone. I'm like I'm fucking in trouble. How old are you at this point too?

I'm 22 maybe, right? You're still a young man. 23. Yeah. And I'm like I'm just gone. And I'm like I I gotta go to rehab. I need fucking help. So they checked me into an inpatient program

in my own town, which is kind of weird. So I'm at the care unit doing 28 days. And at that time I had to wear certain rings because of the mystical shit. I always had to have a skull on my shirt for protection. I was gone. Yeah, gone. But I get, you know, I get through it

and I get sober and I get chubby. And it was kind of funny, gone. But I get, you know, I get, I get, I get through it and I get sober and I get chubby and uh, it was kind of funny rehab and, and, Can I ask you about the food at rehab? It's just starchy shit. Cause everyone that's ever sat in that chair that's gone to like some kind of rehab or something swears that the food is fantastic. Not this one. It was a, it was a chain.

You said you got chubby. That's why I want to be probably weren't even eating anything anyway. If you're just cooking your way up. It was my, my memory was you got chubby, that's why I wondered. But you probably weren't even eating anything anyway, if you're just coking your way up. Yeah, it was, my memory was it was like, it was just heavy food, it wasn't good. Carrying it was an okay situation, but they were just trying to get people to eat and get fat. So I got out and I was like, all right, well, I'm sober.

But I never locked in with the program. I didn't lock in. And then I went to Boston. And, you know, I got my shit together. I'm like, I gotta keep doing comedy. So I drove back to Boston. And I started over again, got a job at a coffee shop, was doing open mics. And I got I came in second in a competition in 88. And that's when I started working. And that was like, that that scene work was, it was a regional comedy scene. There was only, it was like, you could work in Boston, in the area, because there was two or three bookers. You do one-nighters.

So it was usually a two-man show, open or do a half hour, headliner do 45 at discos, bars, bowling alleys, wherever they could contract comedy. So that's sort of how I made my bones. I started working in 88 and there's some funny stories with the drugs. Cause I got about a year and a couple months sober, cold turkey, didn't really understand meetings,

but eventually drifted back into it, but never as hard as that. But it was funny. That was funny. The characters, there's a guy, do you remember, you remember Frankie Bastille? I don't know. Frankie Bastille.

Frankie Bastille. There's that good stuff. That was a, I tell a story store comic. No, no, he was this weird road dog and he was like a dope fiend. And he was like, he was like, there were so many guys out on the road back and then that were just like kind of, you know, you know, skirting the law, skirting alimony, skirting child support, you know, taxes. They're just borderline criminals. It's just like preaching. It's just full of, you know, morally bankrupt weirdos that are out, you know, kind of getting away with it. Well, Bastille was one of these guys. He looked like Keith Richards, you know,

he had a Tibetan Book of the Dead tattoo and he used to talk like this and it's pretty funny, you know, like, but there was a couple of stories with him where, you know, he moved to Boston. He didn't want to be in the paper because he was late. He wanted to pay Charles for him. He didn't want anyone to know who he was. And he was kind of an outlaw. But you know, I have to drive him places. So he locked into me because these devils are like this this guy is like, he's, he knows the devil thing. Yeah. He, he's a, you know,

he's a good devil babysitter. I was a good, good devil babysitter. But you know, you go to pick him up and you could never find his tooth. He had a front tooth that was missing. You walk down the hallway, you go, where's my tooth? You know, it would just come out. It wasn't a retainer thing. He put it away to sleep. You know, and then he'd have to find his tooth. Where's my fucking tooth? Just one of them. But one time, dude, here's, there's two stories with him about drugs.

One time, like, you know, I was just starting out doing these gigs. He, you know, he didn't stay in Boston long, but we drove to a gig and he was, he's a real road guy. And he's like, you got to do your time, man. That was the whole fucking his whole thing was like, you got to do your time. That's what you do. You're a comic. You do your time. You got a half hour.

I'm going to do 45. You got to do your time. I'm like, I get it, dude. You know, and then, you know, we're driving, we get to the gig. It's at some bar and it's pretty well set up, and it's crowded, and like he tells me, he recites a poem to me called The Road, and I'm like, all right, all right. So, he's like, you gotta do your time, and I'm like, I get it. And I go up there, and I, you know, I do everything I got, you know, it's close to a half hour, right? So, I do everything I got, and I bring him up, I'm like, this next guy, clubs and colleges, Frankie Bastille, claps, no bring him up. I'm like, this next guy clubs and colleges,

Frankie Bastille, and claps, no one comes up. I'm like, what the fuck? I introduced him again, nothing, awkward silence. And then from the back of the room, I hear him go, 26. Ha ha ha! Four more, motherfucker. He wasn't doing it at all. He didn't care.

You brought him up twice. And he's like, no. At 26. No. So I did some fucking street joke. That's fucking crazy. Standing on business back there. Yeah.

Ridiculous. Also, that's funny too, because what comic do you know that doesn't want to do more fucking time? I didn't have it. So I don't mean you, him. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Any other comic get up there for three fucking hours, but he was staunch. He probably only had that 45. No, he was like, he was trying to teach me something. He used to do like just to get my rise out of me.

He was not hacky and he could definitely sell the material. But sometimes if I was opening for him in the middle of the set out of nowhere, he goes, remember the first time your mom cut you shooting heroin in your cock? And the audience would be like, what? Yeah, you're the real deal, man. But the other story with him was like, you know, there was a couple, but I was driving him down the Cape to do Johnny Yee's giant Chinese restaurant with a, you know, he used to have a hula show

and then they'd do a comedy show. It was one of those, some of those Chinese places have the huge showrooms for, and it was a longstanding gig. And I'm driving them down there and he's like snorting heroin. Dude, we're driving down, Johnny Yee's, he's snorting heroin.

And I'm like, all right. And he goes, you want to try heroin? I'm like, I don't think the first time should be while I'm like, we're driving down, Johnny, he's snorting heroin. And I'm like, all right. And he goes, you want to try heroin? I'm like, I don't think the first time should be while I'm driving. I'm driving. And he's like, pull over to the gas station, goes in, he steals all the business cards from the gas station, and he's sitting there, he's writing his name on them.

I still got one, it's kind of funny. Do you really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so we're driving to fucking Cape, it's like 45, it was my hour, I don't know, was Cape C fucking Cape. It's like 45, it was my hour, I don't know, was Cape Cod from Boston, but like he's nodding off and he's snorting heroin and he's fucking out. Yeah, I was gonna say.

He's out. And we pull up to the gig and I gotta walk him in cause he's fucking nodding out. And I put him in a booth and I go up on stage and I didn't know what the fuck was gonna happen. At this point I'm doing my half hour and I do pretty well. And I bring him up and I don't know if he's gonna get up. And I brought him up, Frankie Bastille, and he lunges onto the stage and he just leans

in and he kills so hard. He's sweating. It's like a James Brown concert. And he just fucking nails it. I was like, what the fuck? And we get back into the car within two minutes. Boom. He just cried. And all I think is like, that guy's a professional. I mean, it really is. If you could get, that's heroin.

If you can wake up out of a heroin sleep and they go, not just walk across the room, perform. That's impressive. Yeah. So I was in and out, you know, I'd get a year, year, year and a half sober and then I'd go out for a while, but eventually in- We'll finally took. We'll finally- Well, what happened was,

and that leads into when we do another episode, is I was in New York, I'd gotten married, and I shouldn't have. And I was back on the blow, and I'm doing blow in New York. I fucking good dealer in New York, dude. I fucking love that guy, Hammerhead.

I married a woman who was the best maid of honor at my brother's wedding and she's all right, but we were living out in Queens. My career was going nowhere. I'm doing the alt comedy thing and I'm doing the cellar and stuff and I'm doing blow. And I always used to think like, if I get it, if I start at like six, I'll be done by 11, with the blow.

Like that fucking never happens. But I remember one time the guy used to buy drugs from us, this huge dude. He looked like Thor, the wrestler from the Ed Wood movies, shaved head. He used to live on the Lower East Side. He managed the building kind of. His whole apartment was like some sort of art salon. He was like a funny, intense dude. And you got to get all these big celebrities in there. But it was like grungy, but he was a real character.

And I remember this was a great blow moment where I go over there. I'm like, I got to get started early because I'm married and I'm trying to hide it from her. So I go over there at like 5, 5.30, hammerheads, I'm buzzing, he lets me up. He's like, he hasn't even opened for business, you know, he's putting the blinds down. And then while I'm there, so the buzzer rings and he lets the guy in who gives, he gets the blow from. I swear to God, this guy looked like a indigenous mountain person from South America. Like this Latino guy, old guy, he had a cane. He looked like he'd just come out of the farm, you know, but whatever. He gives Jimmy cane. He looked like he'd just come out of the farm.

You know, but whatever. He gives Jimmy, gives Hammerhead the tin foil, like, you know, ounce or whatever it was. And the guy leaves and Jimmy opens that thing up and it's just this rock. And I'm going, can we do, let's do some of that. I was about to say, it was all pre-cut. Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, let's do some of that. I was about to say, it's all pre-cut. Yeah, yeah, right.

Yeah, I'm like, let's do some of that. So he puts out a couple of lines and I did a line and I never felt anything like it. Like just like this electricity, you know, peels back down my eyeballs, all the way down my spine. And I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm like, dude, why don't you just sell that? And he says, he says, cause people would never leave me alone.

And then he just Sam Kittes would be ringing that bell off. And then he just, I see him just drop this rock into a bag of shake. I'm terrible. That's disappointing. That's fucking great. I bet that was full of fire. But what got me sober for good was I surrendered, you know, to this marriage and to misery. And I was kind of bloated and sweaty. And I just decided like, ain't gonna happen for me comedy.

You made that, you really told yourself that. Well, yeah, I mean, I would still do it, but I'm like, I'm not going to be a big star. I don't know if I'll get another gig. And, you know, in terms of like TV or anything like that, and, you know, it was like, this was like, uh, 99 and 98. And I'd had a couple of bad run-ins with, uh, with the drugs, but, you know, I, I did one of my last runs was with Hedberg, you know, in Seattle. And they were doing that dope,

and he come fully loaded, and I was not a dope guy, but he had all that tar heroin, and I'm smoking it with him, and him and Lynn are off doing it, whatever they're doing, but that was one of the last, I remember the two last times I went on runs, one was with Hedberg in Seattle at the festival, and I remember getting up remember like the two fucking the two last times I went on runs one was at Hedberg in Seattle at the festival and I remember getting up the next day and being in the lobby of the hotel and

I just threw up It just gives me more appreciation for fucking what's-his-name pop right up and did it Oh, yeah, yeah threw up in a planter, got on with it. And then the other time, it was a three day run on Coke with Dave Stebbins, who's sober. You know him? He got sober too, but like we were in the fucking hotel room at the Chicago Comedy Fest, just doing eight balls

and fucking, I remember his brother worked at the hotel and he was kind of helping us get the blow. And I remember I'm checking out after a three day run and years later, I saw his brother and he goes, dude, I remember that day, man, you were checking out. And he goes, your luggage was sweating. That was fucking good. So what got me sober is that I decided that I'm just going

to do local TV. I got some gig in New York for a local TV station doing this weird sketch where I set up a talk show on the street. I was already doing some Conan's and stuff, but I was just like, I kind of given up. I didn't know how to get out of my marriage. I didn't know how to get off the drugs anymore.

And it wasn't like I was doing them every night, but I was just one of those guys I was managing and I'm like, this is my life and now I gotta own it. And then like a movie, I'm at the cellar and this fucking gorgeous, gorgeous woman comes up to me, you know, I'm probably I'm sitting, I think I'm sitting at the bar with Scolero. Yeah, back in the day, 99. And, you know, I'm probably holding court like, well, I think prior was really the best, you know, whatever'm probably, you know, holding court like, well, I think Pryor was really the best, you know, whatever. And this woman comes up to me, just gorgeous, like model gorgeous. And she goes, you're Mark Maron, right? And I'm like, yeah.

She goes, what happened to you? And I'm like, what? And I'm like, what? She goes, I can get you help if you want it. I can help you get sober. And I'm like, I'll do anything to do anything with you. So she was a comic and you know, starting out, and she's like 23, 24, used to be a model, was doing comedy for a few years, sober as fuck. And she just started taking me to meetings and I just, and we started a relationship

and that led to my first divorce, but she got me sober. She, yeah, I'm divorced from her too. And she wants nothing to do with me, which is fine. But, but I do think of forgetting me sober. And you've been sober for how long now? Since 99. Damn good for you. 26 years.

Yeah. Coming up on 26 next month. Good for you. Yeah, dude. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. A lot of good stories in between those things. Well, I would love to have you. I want to have you back.

You want the, yeah, we can cover the divorces. I was about to say, if you're willing to come back, I'd love to. Sure. Right. Um, but before I let you out of here, give me advice you would give to 16 year old Mark Maron. Really? Just it's basic.

Listen, that's, that's what most people need to hear. It is basic shit. Yeah. It would be just sort of like, dude, you know, fucking relax. Don't be so hard on yourself. You know, it's gonna, it's gonna be okay. I was always so fuel to this day with, you know, panic and, you know, kind of FOMO and just wanting to, you know, like, I got it, I got it, I got it.

It's just like, and also like you suck. You suck. You can't fucking just lose that and try to, you know, just, you know, be in your fucking body, dude. This was great. Thank you very much, man. Thank you. Promote one more time, please. Oh yeah. My new special panicked comedy special on HBO right now. Got the bad guys too coming out of Mr.

Snake and I, and you'll see me in the Bruce Springsteen movie, uh, road to, uh, what is it called? Deliver me from nowhere. Great. And stick. Oh yeah. Stick is always going to be on Apple TV. I don't know if we're doing more of those, but, uh, I think I did a pretty good

job and it's Owen Wilson and it's a sweet, sad little story. Thank you, brother. Yeah, thank you. You got it. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to y'all next week. You