The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - 367: HoneyDew with Y’all | Best Lowlights of 2025 with Tom Segura #367 | Full Episode
Episode Date: January 5, 2026Ryan Sickler revisits the best Lowlights of 2025 from the HoneyDew with Y’all, joined by special guest Tom Segura, for a brutally honest, hilarious, year-in-review. Be sure to check out Tom's latest... Netflix special, Teacher, out now, and keep and eye out for his movie El Tigre coming out later this year. 🎟️See me live. All tickets at https://www.ryansickler.com/tour 🎤Check out my new standup special “Live & Alive” streaming on my YouTube now! https://youtu.be/PMGWVyM2NJo?si=SrhXjgzR1pe6CyYE 👉 Subscribe for more standup and new episodes of The HoneyDew, The Wayback, and more! http://youtube.com/@rsickler ✅ Subscribe to my Patreon “The HoneyDew with Y’all”! Get The HoneyDew audio and video a day early, ad-free, for just $5/month! Want more? Upgrade to the $8/month premium tier and get everything above plus The Wayback a day early, ad-free, censor-free, and exclusive bonus content you won’t find anywhere else! http://patreon.com/RyanSickler 📧What’s your story?? Submit at honeydewpodcast@gmail.com 👕Get Your Merch👕 https://www.bonfire.com/store/ryansickler/ 🎧 Listen to my Podcasts 🎧 The HoneyDew - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-honeydew-with-ryan-sickler/id527446250 The Wayback - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-wayback-with-ryan-sickler/id1721601479 Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/ryansickler 📣 Follow Me📣 ▪ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryansickler/ ▪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryan.sickler ▪ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RyanSicklerOfficial 🕸️http://ryansickler.com/ 🍈https://thehoneydewpodcast.com/ 🦀Subscribe to The CrabFeast Podcast🦀 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187
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Thank you guys for over a million views on my new special Live and Alive.
If you haven't seen it, go check it out now.
We got a brand new merch store up.
There's tons of stuff in there, including your Fuck Steve shirts and the Honeydew Bucket Hats.
Everybody's been asking for.
Go get yours now.
Come see me on the road if I'm in your town when you're around.
Tour dates are on my website at ryan sickler.com.
The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler.
Welcome back to the honeydew y'all.
We're over here doing it in the night past studios.
I am Ryan Sickler, Ryan Sickler.com,
Ryan Sickler on all your social media.
And I want to start this episode by not only saying thank you,
but happy New Year.
Happy New Year to every single one of you out there.
I want to thank you, the Honeydue Turn 7.
We got a seven-year-old here,
and I can't thank you guys enough for your support.
That's a long time, seven years to have a podcast.
So thank you very much.
for your support of this show.
And I'm very excited to tell you guys
that this Thursday, January 8th,
is the way back episode with my brothers.
You've been asking about doing a podcast with them for years.
That is this Thursday, January 8th.
Tune in for that.
Hopefully you guys have all made it to the live chat by now.
I'm in there with you.
We're going to get this episode started.
I'm very excited to introduce this guest here.
You guys all know them.
ladies and gentlemen
Tom Segorah!
Hey now.
Welcome back to the hundred deep time.
Hey, hey.
It's great to have you here.
It's good to be here.
Congrats on everything going on.
Tell everybody,
whatever you got a lot of new shit.
So go.
Yeah.
So the new special,
Teacher is on Netflix right now.
You went with Teacher?
Yeah.
Streaming now.
Can I,
we can cut this out if you like.
Does he cool with it?
He doesn't know.
He doesn't know.
Do you think he's going to be cool?
No.
Because he changed.
that name. I was told very clearly what I was, I say, he's teacher. He says, uh-uh. He gets real
fired up. The latest is, um, you know, a nickname for his name's Julian. And like the nickname,
that is why you're doing it, right? Yeah, yeah. But like a nickname for Julian is Juju. So I call
him that. But he's also at the age now that if I say it in public, he'll be like,
don't fucking call me that in public. Really? Yeah, he's embarrassed. He's like, call me Julian.
Do you sell him stuff like Juju Smith-Suster? I can't even say his name. I, I haven't showed
him that but he just he it's clearly a in-house only name for him and right now he's like stop
saying he grits the the clenched teeth is the clutch teeth i think it's so pissed he's like shut
have you done this yet you guys i just did this to stella recently she was uh my buddy jim was you know
jim and his daughter they're they're we're in a grocery store and they're not coming we're calling
them they're not coming so we say you know what we're going to do we went up to the the front yeah said
to the lady, hey, our girls are messing around.
They won't come. Can we
get on the horn here and page them out?
She goes, what are their names?
She couldn't wait. Yeah. She said,
Stella and Donna, get up here now, and they
came hauling ass. Have you done that to you?
No. Dude, do a juju.
And see how he... Juju,
cigar. Oh, my God. I'll bet he
power walks with those teeth. He will come
and just punch me straight in the dick.
He's violent.
You got a page him in a story.
I got to do that. That's a great idea.
That's a great idea.
He won't like that at all.
Stop, but, shit.
They were, they came holiday.
Like, now walking.
I'm like, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
What's seven?
I'm sorry.
So we got teacher.
Teachers out on Netflix, streaming now.
I got, well, season two, we're going into production this month of bad thoughts.
So that'll come out later this year.
And then, L.T. Gray, the movie we shot over the last summer, will come out.
I don't know sometime this year.
So I'm not sure what the distribution will be for it, but it will come out later this year.
Is that a cinematic release, or are we going to be able to get that both ways?
It's kind of going to be up to these distribution companies.
So I don't know if they're going to end up, you know, we would love a theatrical release.
I think a lot of people, you know, ultimately is what you want if you make a feature, but it could end up just on a streamer.
Who knows?
Well, I'm so happy for all your success.
Thanks, buddy.
I'm glad to have you sit here with us today.
Yeah, me too.
So we're going to go over some of our favorite highlights of the Patreon,
the Honey Do With Y'all from 2025.
All right.
Now, for those of you watching, listening, this is a $5 a month.
It's a couple copies a month.
We've been doing hundreds of these for years now.
And this next chunk here is some of our faves.
So we're going to get started here.
How do you do with you all?
episode 2-24. This was Dylan Taylor. The setup here is it's New Year's Eve. Okay. Okay. Dylan's
mom's friend's boyfriend, okay? So his mom's friend's boyfriend, who is a volunteer firefighter, okay,
at the time, has a house fire. Has a house fire. Correct. A volunteer firefighter on New Year's Eve.
Has house fire on New Year's Eve. Okay. And after that fire investigation, it revealed,
reveals that that fire have been set in three different spots in the house.
So now it's deliberate.
It's arson.
Yeah.
Well, my mom goes to trial one day and the ex-wife comes to trial.
And it all comes out into the playing field about how he's been stalking her.
Like putting tracking devices and stalking her.
flying his helicopter
over her house.
No, he's not.
Yeah, he is.
He's just circling around the house.
In a residential neighborhood, by the way.
I've never heard somebody stalk somebody in a fucking helicopter, dude.
Tom.
This is what I'm talking about.
You like rich guy shit.
You like rich guy's shit.
And we got to start off gently here.
So the YouTube gods allow us to.
get you down the road.
Stalking from a chopper.
Bro.
That's just to harass, like, I'm here.
Just you can hear,
do you how loud and,
oh my God.
Who knows if even,
he's a volunteer firefighter.
Who knows if even has a lot?
By the neighborhood knows you're stocking.
I flew a helicopter with you.
Yeah.
Okay.
I just was at that park the other day and I thought about that.
Yeah.
And I was like,
this guy is over the house.
New Year's Eve, bro.
Yeah.
Like also on New Year's Eve,
it's a weird night because if I saw that, I'd be like,
oh my god
this guy's throwing a hell
of a fucking boy
you know what I mean this asshole
he's stalking in a helicopter
when there's a helicopter
in a residential neighborhood
the neighborhood comes outside
everyone's like what's going on
it's so loud
check this out though
he burned his own house down
for the insurance money
to fund his helicopter
to continue stalking his wife
which stalking charges
were in place
restraining orders were in place
like this was known fact
burned down his house to afford his helicopter.
To stalk his wife.
To stalk his wife.
Yes.
Dude, that's the craziest shit I've ever heard.
That is one of the wildest stalking stories I've ever heard.
To be so committed to the bit and to just be like, yo, this shit is expensive.
I got to do something.
I'm not going to come up.
I'm going to burn my fucking house about.
Where I live and have a roof over my head just so I can keep stalking the stuff.
fucking lady. Yeah, man. Is that crazy?
This bell 307, they're going to pay for itself.
Listen, what do you think? Listen,
one night. If I
just want to take my helicopter up
one night and fly it out of the airport
over that call to sack,
what's that going to run, be you think?
10, 10, 15 grand?
No, I mean, well, everything always
depends on the actual aircraft you're
talking about. But I mean, you're always going to be
talking about thousands. Like, it's always going to be
a few thousand dollars. For one trip, we're talking.
Yeah, for sure.
I mean, if you're, if you're leasing or whatever, renting it from someone, yeah, it's going to be a few grand at a minimum to go up in like an R44 for sure.
And then like if you're like, no, I want like top tier.
Yeah, then you're going to be like, oh, that's fucking eight grand or whatever to do that for your one harassment trip.
Also, I wonder if he's only a volunteer firefighter to figure out how to get away with burn in the house down so he can fly the helicopter.
I wonder the funniest thing would be if he pursued his license just to stalk.
Like he had no interest in it.
There's a lot going into it.
I'm just going to follow this bitch around.
What can I do that?
I can do it in a helicopter.
That way she could never really dip away from me.
Like I could just hover around and just watch her go into stores.
And then she comes out.
I'm up here.
Yeah.
How many criminal shows you've watched, I've watched.
I've never, ever, ever heard someone stalk someone from a helip.
That's the first. I've never heard of that either. I've heard of the stories of like, you know,
changing names and disguises and like, all of it, you know, moving somewhere and, and misleading people
so they don't know that it's you, but I've never heard of somebody being like, I'm just going to stalk you from above.
Ariel. I've never heard of an aerial stalking. Never. Right? Ever, bro. It's always on the ground.
Because the funny thing is about stalking is like, if you're doing it, the idea that you're doing it, the idea that you,
You could do it from the sky.
You ain't coming quiet.
Yeah, also.
It's loud as shit, but also you can set up a thing where, like, this person, I'll never lose
them.
Because that's how you track, like, suspects and crimes, obviously.
It's like, they can just follow you wherever you go.
And if it's like, I'm just following this chick wherever she goes.
It's the most dedicated.
Now you're Ray Liotin Goodfellows.
I'm looking up at this guy, just trying to go to work.
That is wild.
That crazy.
Crazy.
Did he end up getting
He ended up like serving time?
Sounds like this.
Carson,
what did they say at the end there?
They got more charges because they're already some in place.
Yeah, the stalking charges were already in place
and I think there were extra charges after that.
Because I don't think I put it in the notes,
but he actually left the New Year's Eve party to go light this fire
with his dogs in the house and then came back.
That's right.
He left the party they're at,
sets his house on fire,
comes back and he's like,
oh my God, my house burned out and that was how he afforded them.
How somebody ends up being a stalker is all.
Like, I feel like this must have been like the only person that at one point he connected with, right?
Where you're like, you feel something you've never felt before.
And then when it ends, you're like, mm-mm, that shit ain't over.
Nope.
Like, I'm not going back to the dating pool.
I'm going to my motherfucker.
I'm getting on match.
I'm getting a fucking helicopter.
I'm going to flight school.
Look up.
You go see me.
Life school.
Oh, my God.
It is a hell.
You know what also?
I wish someone would love me.
me like that. I know.
Someone love me like that. I'm sorry.
I'm gone, though. You're not doing it. Who's that?
That's my girl. What's up? She follows me everywhere.
Love you. And she's up there doing this shit.
It is incredibly. She just lands. And what are you doing here? You're like, what the
fuck am I doing here? That is so much. So much work for someone.
All right. That's a good start. We're going to move on here now.
This is Honeydue with y'all episode 2,34, a guy, gentlemen here, Jared Klickstein.
Jared used to live on Skid Row, and during this story, he was in prison.
So when he gets to prison, he lies about not being Jewish.
Okay.
Okay.
To his shot caller, but he decides to come clean because what he learns is that you get kosher meals in prison.
Okay.
And they're worth a lot of money.
So in this clip here, they give him a yarmaca.
Okay. In prison. In prison, which helps him bridge some unsuspecting friendships.
I was bunkies with the Mexican shot collar. So he saw the Yalmika and he was like, hey, man, what the fuck is that?
And I tried to hide it. And I was like, come on, you know, it's just this Jewish hat. I'm not trying to bring it out.
And he's like, oh, it's one of those Yalmakas. It's one of those Jewish hats. And I said, yeah. And he was like, hey, man, so like, what kind of power do you think that thing has?
and I was like, you know, I don't know.
I don't think it has any power.
He's like, yeah, but Jews are so good with money.
It must have some kind of natural powers to it.
And I just kind of played along, and he was like, and I, you know, would you mind if I wore it when I gambled?
And I said, yeah, man, you can wear it when you gamble.
So he started wearing it while he would play dice.
So this is the Mexican shot caller in prison, in prison saying you got an advantage.
Hey, Doug.
Your magic Jewish hat.
Let me wear your magic numbers.
I want to wear that.
Well, I'm gambling in prison.
And he said, all right.
So I was letting him do that, and he was like winning.
And then the Nazis came up to me.
And they kind of were like, hey, man, why you let another race wear your magic Jew hat and not living us with a magic Jew hat?
And I was like, you guys can wear the magic Jew hat, too.
Like, you know, I'll let you guys wear it.
So my friend John John.
who was a Nazi.
So he's got like swastika tattoos
and he wants to wear the hat.
So we go play dice.
I let him wear the hat.
And it's like this magical scene of like this big Nazi
with swastika tattoos wearing the yarmica.
And, you know,
shut the fuck up, dude.
You got Nazis wearing yarmacas and eating kosher meals in jail.
Get the fuck out of here, dude.
That's just fucking great.
So did it ever like come back to
bite him. Like, no, everyone was like...
Also, that just lets you know how much all this is bullshit.
I know. It all depends on where you are at the motherfucking time.
It's like he was like a prison Harry Potter.
Yeah. Like, he showed up and they're like, let me hold that wand.
Like, that's so crazy.
I hate everything about you and your people so much.
Yeah.
That's a magic hat. But also, you're not on draft picks winning to a two.
You're probably getting a fucking hamburger or some shit.
You know what I mean?
And you know that if they just rolled well once, it's that Jew hat.
That's that motherfuckering Jew hat.
And then they all start fighting over because of the man.
He said, why are you letting another race wear that magic?
I want to wear it, even though I hate Jews more than anything in the world.
Let me wear that hat.
You also, man, I'll tell you what, that's a fucking, that might be the one thing I could lie about, maybe save myself in prison right there.
Is being Jewish and lying about it.
You would say that you were or you would.
If that help me like that, I would.
Well, that would think, the thing is I don't understand how you, how, like, the scariest part to this story is, like, I think volunteering that you are, in fact.
I would think that that would be more dangerous.
Well, it took him a while.
But once he realized that not only do I get a better meal, but my meals are currency here.
Yeah.
The magic Jew hat was a cherry on top.
He was just like, he wasn't even.
going to wear it. Yeah. The Mexican
dude's like, what's that fucking thing right there? Yeah, what is
that? That's one of the magic Jew hats
and y'all are good at numbers. I love
that the Nazis and
the Mexicans think that it's a magic.
You got that banker hat.
Can I wear it?
That's fucking crazy.
It doesn't work, though. That's the thing. Can you
imagine if it doesn't? If it doesn't?
He's getting out. He's like, I'm
leaving it behind and you guys just take care
of it. When you're thinking of numbers
and the weather, put that shit
on see what happens.
That's the best.
I wouldn't believe that in a movie.
Right?
Yeah.
If you wrote that in,
we can't, we're not doing that.
Not one Nazi in prison,
the worst ones you think,
whatever.
And then you're like,
you know,
they usually say they'd take it
stomp on it,
set it on fire.
Wipe their ass with it,
put it back on your head,
whatever.
Guys like,
I'm gonna play poker tonight.
I want to wear that special hat.
Yep.
Where's that Jew hat guy?
It's fucking wild.
Five dollars a month,
You all $5 a month.
Been like that since day one.
If you were someone you know has a story that has to be heard, submit it to Honeydew
Podcast at gmail.com.
You can QR code it right here right now.
Go subscribe.
You got the $5 tier and the $8 tier where you're getting the way back a day early,
ad free, sensor free.
But bonus content that you're not getting anywhere else up there, including the episode
with my brothers, all that stuff from the Baltimore Junkyard series.
All right.
This is a guy named Tyler.
I wanted to just go by Tyler.
Okay.
So Tyler was, what was he cursed in a medic?
At this time, he was a SWATS ground unit.
Thank you.
Swat's ground unit.
This is Tyler.
At the time, he's working as a SWAT's ground unit.
He gets a call from a neighbor.
They hear this yelling.
But the yelling is so intense that they don't,
feel comfortable to go check it out themselves.
So they call the SWAT team.
That's how intense this screaming is.
They're like, we're not checking on this person.
Y'all need to get out here.
Not regular cops.
Get the cavalry out here.
The guy's in the back of the house in his master bedroom.
And the first thing I see, he's sitting, he's completely nude.
He's sitting on the end table, feet off the ground.
And I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
So I get the looking.
He has, with master carpentry skills, bolted a very large dildo into the top of
the end table has set on it.
So far he's stuck and you can't get off of it.
How big is the deal, though?
Like, for real.
Well, we can't, I can't tell because it's fully inside of him at this point.
I could tell you this much.
It was so far inside of him and so big, we couldn't get him off of it.
Come on, dude.
We're just getting started so you know, because they got help.
You can't just leave a man like that.
The screaming is just him.
The screaming coming next door is this man who was bolted.
a monster dildo onto a end table next to his bed.
He sat,
wrecked, gutted, and he is screaming.
Have you ever talked by the way to any emergency room personnel?
Oh, yeah.
And they go on here.
Well, yeah, but they go, like 40% of our work
is getting things out of people's asses.
Guys asses.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just guys putting stuff up their ass and they can't get it out.
We have this guy grab on both of our shoulders.
And we're trying to lift him off of it.
He's screaming worse and worse than work every time we lift him.
So we're like, okay, it's just like a knife wound.
You just don't leave it in and transport.
They call the fire department who has a saw.
The fire department has to cut off the top part of the end table,
but the thing still, but the Dildo still bolted in and still inside of him.
He gets transported face down on the gurney.
No, dude.
No, no.
Swear to God.
With a table on his ass.
With a table on his ass.
And you see him getting loaded in.
He's faced down.
There's a dildo coming out with a square piece of wood on it.
You see?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's so painful.
The dildo is staying in his ass, but they cut the wood so it could come off.
It'd be like if something like this was just plastered to him.
Yes.
Do we learn how big this dildo is?
Can't see the dildo.
Still can't see the dildo.
All you can see is the end table just in his, is connected to his ass now.
But you got a transport like that.
Now, that happens to you.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
You're reevaluating your life for a while, probably.
Big time.
You're in recovery, therapy.
Are you moving maybe?
You're staying in the neighborhood or?
I think I'm moving states.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Maybe country.
Maybe leave the country.
You would think someone would want a small footprint.
He's like, where's my table?
I'm putting that shit back together.
Yeah.
I have a master carpenter, so they're going to give me my table.
Not this guy, Tom.
The best part about it is he actually brought his gift cards and gift baskets to the PD for helping him out.
No, he did.
Not but never shoot in my face.
He got a $50 gift card to the Regal Cinema.
You like movies?
Who like movies, man?
Who likes movies?
He had a monster car.
Did he tell you the size of it?
He said it was huge.
He said he didn't get to see it, but it was massive.
I mean, it had to.
be. If you put Kirsten, will you just so Tom can hear? Isn't there a part in there where he's
talking about the screaming he hears coming up? Maybe I'm wrong. I don't have it in this clip,
but yeah, he said, I mean, he just describes, he said it's blood curdling that like,
they've been to murder scenes and never have had it be that loud. Never, never. He said I've
seen people dying in front of me. You realize that he was like, this is good. This is good.
This feels great. Yes. And then it was just like, I'm in trouble.
Tom, though, legs off the ground.
Your legs are off the ground.
He lived.
And it came back with gift cards and shit, dude.
Come bearing gifts.
That's insane.
Could you imagine people went out of your house face down with shit?
I mean, it's clearly sticking out of your ass.
I wonder how many people are listening to this and going like, I've been there.
Because there's so many people.
I've talked to ER doctors.
And they're like, oh, yeah, man, we pull lamps and fucking toys and all kinds of.
of shit out of people.
Dudes, asses.
SWAT unit had to show up for this guy.
It's all dudes.
Yeah, no.
Oh, fuck.
Okay.
All right.
Now, this one, this one's different.
It takes a dark.
This takes a dark turn here.
This is dark.
All right.
This is, I mean, this,
dare I say it is bad thoughts-ish, honestly.
Let me get a rogue in my mouth.
Go ahead and get yourself one.
This is from episode 236.
This is Sarah Smith.
Sarah Smith's mom, her drugged up boyfriend, okay?
This young lady comes on.
Her mom's drugged up boyfriend kills himself, okay?
But how he did it is what's weird.
Her mom's drugged up boyfriend kills himself.
Just remember.
Boyfriend.
Boyfriend.
This is an adult lady you're about to see.
Her mom's drugged up boyfriend kills himself.
He kept saying that, you know, he's going to kill himself.
And I kept telling my mom, as soon as you give him all the animals, it's over.
It's over for him.
And sure enough, like two weeks after she gave him the animals, he had moved into his friend's trailer.
And he shot himself in the face while watching the video of my birth.
Nuh.
While watching the video of her birth?
Go ahead.
Play it, Kurt.
I swear to come.
What?
The video of my birth was in the BCR as he shot himself in the face.
This heroin?
Chunky takes himself out watching a video of your birth.
He's not even your biological father or anything.
I'm assuming you want to see my mom's vagina one more time.
He's watching the birth of a dislay.
He doesn't even.
He's not a nothing.
He's a boyfriend.
A boyfriend.
He's like, I'm going to kill my fucking self.
And they didn't even believe that.
And then he did that.
And when they go find him, he blew his face out to watching her being born.
Yeah, a VHS of her birth.
He has nothing to do with the family or anything.
He probably had to steal that VH.
Like he's,
there's so, also, it's not the first time.
It's the last time he saw it.
You know what feels more realistic, though,
is that he thought he stole a different tape.
You think?
Yeah, he was like wanting to watch something else.
And he was like, oh, shit.
I got stuck with this.
I don't know.
I'd have got that.
Got that tape out of VCR, but there's a lot of questions.
Holy shit.
Someone else's birth.
Someone else's birth.
I mean, or maybe he was just thinking in profound terms, like the cycle of life.
Yeah, maybe.
I'm about to die.
Y'all are going to remember this shit.
You're going to remember this.
I'm going to leave you with a question.
Dude, that is a wild one.
That's really crazy.
That's a weird, dark, fucking twist.
An addict?
Yeah, he was a heroin addict.
And I'm assuming maybe he'd seen it before.
He knew where it was.
Why is that in the VCR?
Who's keeping that in the VCR?
That's really weird.
Nobody keeps it.
Maybe he thought it was beautiful to see a life be born.
What if she's right?
What if he's just like, I want to see that pussy one more time?
One more pussy.
This is the only thing I got.
The least sexy shot of a pussy.
Ever in the history of me.
Fluid and all kinds of stuff coming out.
Then a baby starts crying and that's my cute.
Bye-bye.
Fucked up, man.
Okay.
All right, we're going to move on here.
It's just a fun little dark one for you there.
Oh, my fuck.
This one gets a little dark as well.
So just got to give some heads-ups out throughout here.
People get upset if I don't.
This is from episode.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You should have told us about that morning.
I watched that shit at work.
I was in the car of my family.
You know, shit like that.
242, episode 242,
Jason Jerry Prickett.
Now, what's interesting about this, a quick backstory is in episode 212, we're talking about 242.
Yeah.
But in episode 212, we had a guest come on and talk about, his name was Dustin Sane, and he talked about a wild fight that he witnessed in high school where a guy got his eye gouged out.
God.
Well, in a high school fight?
A high school fight.
Fuck.
Our wonderful universe, Jason Jerry Prickett shows up.
Jason is the guy who had his eye gouged out.
Heard about the story, called in and said, let me tell you what happened.
That guy's telling you what happened.
I'm the guy.
Yeah.
I have a little more insight into that.
Outside.
Outside.
Not eyesight, motherfuckerback.
Yeah.
So we'll introduce Jason here, and he can tell us real quick what happened.
I'm trying to get out.
And then with the other hand, I feel the guy's finger, thumb.
I believe it was a thumb going to this eye right here.
And so we started pushing on it.
So I had to make this decision of what to do in that moment because I was about to pass out.
I was being choked out.
But also somebody had just jammed their fucking thumb, you know, in my eye.
The left eye was just pushed back in.
Like he tried to spoon it out, but the guy just pushed it back into my head.
But the right one actually spooned out.
Oh, fuck.
eyelids were
were completely shut
and my optic nerve
and my eye
were sitting on my cheek
get the fuck out
it popped out
and was just sitting
on your cheek
popped out
sitting on my cheek
yeah
where do you go
to high school
where is this
dude
I forget
where was it
Kirsten where were that
I can't remember
but let me look it up
I think I can find it
pretty quick
here's what's incredible
it's either rural
as shit
or in in a
fucking hardcore city dude.
There's no way this is just some...
They were not fucking around.
They were trying to get both his eyes out.
How did he get into this fight?
Like what happened? He sets up this story and
that's what you got to watch the episode. You got to watch
his episode. But the guy, that's what I'm saying.
He's like, man, I saw this crazy fight.
And not to be a dick with the sight
and everything, but the fact that Jason saw
that, yeah, yeah. It was like,
I'm the fucking guy that got my eye out.
How was his vision?
Gone. Completely gone? He has no vision?
He's gone.
That guy is gone.
That eye's gone.
The other guy's okay?
Yeah.
I mean, we talked about, he was like, thumbs in this eye, this eye is on my cheek.
Yeah.
It's not okay, but he had vision in that eye.
I mean, he's...
Fuck.
Yeah, dude.
It got gouged out, like high school shit.
A high school fight.
I never heard of a high school fight like that.
But you don't just accidentally do that.
Not the two eyes either.
Yeah.
You know, you're going for that.
Whoever the...
But the episode details the fight.
Oh, yeah.
Details of fight, how it all went down, everything.
God, race relations are real.
problem. It's gnarly. Magic Jew hat would have probably solved all that, dude. Magic Jew hat
would have probably solved all. I can't find what city, but it was in Texas. That fits. That's
your neighborhood. It is. Fucking A man. Man to take a man's eye out. Like, whoo. Let me get a breather here.
Five hours a month, y'all. How do you do with you all? If you have a story or someone has a story that has to
be heard, please submit it.com. You guys send me a link to this whole thing. I got to hear this whole story.
Awesome. We'll send it. Links will be for, it will be all in the descriptions. I'll send you everything.
Holy shit. Um, so yeah, hit the QR code right there. Sign up now. We're halfway through the episode.
Uh, we've got another little fun one. This is a fun one here. Okay. This one's nice and easy.
Well, this one's not as, this one's not gruesome. Okay, okay. Disturbing. All disturbing. Yeah.
But not gruesome. So, uh, this is episode 254. This guest just wanted to go by Mitch.
Mm-hmm. So Mitch, uh, wrote in about.
a wild tender date that he found himself on.
He was 19 years old, fresh in the Navy, had lost some weight, cleared up some acne,
and Mitch is fucking ready.
He's feeling himself ready to go, brother.
I gave her a hug, and she was like, do you want to come in?
And I was like, fuck yeah.
And she goes, are you sure?
I said, yeah, of course.
But she's like, okay.
That's exactly how she says.
She goes, okay.
I walk in.
and I stop.
And my fucking jaw
just drops.
There are Nazi flags,
swastika's fucking swastika throw pillows.
Throw pillows, dude.
All Nazi.
This is on a first date.
You want to come in?
You sure?
She lets him go first.
You sure?
He says, yeah, she goes, you go first.
It opens the door.
And he's just like,
what the fuck?
I found the love of my life.
we're not done
we're not done
yeah you want to go to my room
oh shit
I was like
yeah
and I go in her room
listen
listen guys
don't think with your dick
you should not be going
into that fucking room
no it should stop at the living room
be like I appreciate you
you definitely get the fuck out of there
also at this point
that's if I see something like that
I'm like, there's a redneck back there with a shotgun right now or two.
This is not.
Some Jew hats on fire.
Some crazy shit going on.
Yeah.
Tom.
Wait.
He went through a bedroom machine.
Confederate flag comforter.
Comforter.
God damn.
Confederate flag over the bed.
She walks back in the room wearing a robe.
It's a black robe.
It's not like a Nazi robe.
Drops the robe.
wearing.
laundry.
But right here and right here, you got a swastika and you have a confederate flag.
Tattoos.
Holy shit.
Tattoos, Tom.
And then did he still, did he fuck her?
He said he did.
He said he did.
He did.
He said he did.
He did.
Let me tell you yourself that I have been, I've been a 20, what was he, 19?
I've been that horny too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's no way.
in hell. I'm even, I'm not even going to look at the bedroom. No. I see that and I'm like,
oh, hell, hell, hell. Yeah, no, no. No, no. You can be a hand job outside. Yeah. Let's go back outside.
I like you, but we go back. Fuck, man. I'm getting the fuck. He met her on Tinder. Yeah.
There's no way she leads with. Right.
And I'm laughing because when he, there's a part of it where he's telling the whole story and
she got mad. You know what I mean? She's like, not another one. You know what I mean? Like,
They're the problem.
Oh, you got an issue with this shit, too?
Yeah.
She got an attitude about it.
That's fantastic.
She got an attitude about it.
Oh, my God.
Have you ever, have you ever dated a racist girl?
You ever date a girl that said racist shit or did racist shit?
No, never.
I mean, not, no, not like anything where you start dating somebody and all of a sudden
you just drop some shit and you're like, God damn.
No.
None of that.
No.
And I've also never had someone go, you sure you want to come in?
because I feel like I'd be like, what do you mean?
I didn't my sure I want to be in.
See, that's where I start thinking, are you a guy?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
My mind, I don't think if you gave me 10 guesses I would have thought fucking Nazi
throw pillows.
I didn't even know they had them.
I mean, I'm trying to like just imagine where my mind would go.
If I walk in and I see Nazi paraphernalia everywhere, I think I would just be like,
I'm so scared right now.
I'd be terrified.
Yeah, I'm scared.
You know what?
I left my swastika in the car.
I'll be right back.
Yeah.
All right.
Now, this one here is a, this one's a tough one.
So this is episode 2-33.
This is T.J. Himes.
T.J. Himes on all days, Father's Day.
Father's day, he's got a dirt bike out there.
They're all riding around, taking turns.
Is he a kid at the time?
He is.
Okay.
Yes.
And his dad gets on the bike on Father's Day.
The front of the bike pops up.
When he hits it, when the front wheel pops up, a quick backstory, the padding that goes on the crossbar is on back order.
And this is kind of important because as it comes up, it kind of like, I see it kind of land on his head, but like bounce off the head, hit between two pine trees that he wasn't supposed to go between.
And everything, and then he just like falls to the ground with the bike.
When this happens, he's on the ground.
and I just run over.
When I get over there,
his arm is like a little bit wrapped,
kind of like laying on the ground just like this, right?
And he's like, hey, Teague, my arm hurts,
and I think it's broke.
Go call 911.
And as I look down, I see white of his skull.
Oh!
And I realize that the crossbar has hit in the back of his head
and kind of scalped him forward.
Okay, hold on.
So gave it too much gas.
Padding is on back order.
Bar goes over his head.
But when it comes back forward, it reverse scalps them.
Not but reverse.
You with me?
Yeah.
White skull, Father's Day.
He's running over.
So they're sewing them back up.
And Ryan, there is a, there's a noise that I will never forget where
the flap of his scalp where they were holding it, they let it go and it made like a little
suction.
Oh, fuck.
It's a sick, dude, old father's day.
You know, it just takes me back to when I saw that guy with his flap open.
This is what I wanted to say.
You and your sister, I believe, found a drunk, a drunk motorcycle.
You were driving and she saw it off in the distance.
And she saw, nah, or whatever.
She saw a light.
A light.
It's nighttime, right?
Yeah, it's like, it's just sundown, you know, it's not super late, but it's probably like eight or nine.
And we were going.
And how far off the road is he?
Well, so we were going on a northbound only road.
And I still remember it so well.
We were on the northbound only road.
And she goes, there's something back there.
And I was like, no.
And she was like, no, we got to go.
And I remember being like trying to, but she was so insistent.
And I was irritated because.
To go see that again, I had to take a left on US1, take another left at the next street,
go back just to go to them. I'm like, what are you talking about, dude? So I was like,
all right, you know, I do the turns. And then I see what she saw, which is a light coming out of
a field, like a grass, tall grass field. And I was like, that is weird. So I pulled over.
And then I saw that this field had a fence, like a chain link fence around it, but over on this side,
it was all down, like something had hit it. And I was.
I was like, what is that?
Then I, as I walk, she stays on the road.
Okay, so how far you parked the car on the shoulder?
On the shoulder, yeah.
How far are you walk, like how far into it?
I'm probably walking like 30, 30, 40 yards.
Okay.
And I see that it's a, when I, as I get closer, I'm like, what's that light?
It's a motorcycle that's no longer running and it's laid over and the light's still on.
So that's why it's like bizarre, like you're trying to put together what you're like,
how is a light coming out of the grass?
ass. And as you get close, you're like, oh, it's a motorcycle. And then your brain just kind of goes,
oh, somebody was just riding this. That's why the fences take, like you're putting it together.
And you look over here and, you know, whatever, 20 yards away, there's a person. Just one?
Just one person. And that's when she's still standing back and she's just nervous. And I just tell her, call 911,
call 911. And then I walk over to him. And he's just laying there. I don't know if he's dead. And I got so
nervous i remember it let you talking to him or yeah i'm going sir sir because i'm so scared yeah i'm
like sir sir like that and i get closer and closer and i don't know what i'm going to see and then i
take like my index finger and i just go like touched i'm like and then i started to hear moat like
like like like i go you know you're in a wreck i'm trying to put it together we call 911 the
ambulance is coming and blah blah blah and then this i go don't move i always knew that you know when
people are in accidents you don't move right so i'm like don't move like just stay where you are
and he's like groaning and moaning and then he sits up no he sat up he sat up and when he sat up
the top of his head flaps yeah and i was like that's why we pooped it yeah i was like shit
did he like look at you and it just opened i mean he just sat up and you'll never
not see that shit. Like a top,
like a toupee, like a joke almost.
Like a joke, yeah. And he had long hair
and like a ball, like a ball. No helmet or no
helmet? And that shit was just open.
And I was like, ha.
And then is he talking to you at all? No,
he's just, he's so out of me. He was drunk.
Oh, he was in an accident.
And then they, you know, they
met a vac, the helicopter came and like, all.
You know how much echo. Oh, man.
He's caught. Stocker was on his break. I can't get up there
like because of the air traffic.
Like, fucking busy.
And then I remember I was visiting.
Were you there for the, when they took them?
Air Lifted.
No, I saw, I saw it coming.
And then the cop was like, you know, telling us to get out of the area.
And I remember that I had had a drink at my house before we went out there, just like one drink.
And the cop that was telling me, he goes, hey, I'd hate for this to be a thing where you're a good Samaritan and you get in trouble.
And I was like, what?
He's like, I can smell alcohol in your breath.
And I was like, what?
He goes, yeah, you should get out of here.
Wow.
Yeah.
And I was like, okay.
So I got in the car and I left.
And then I was living in L.A.
I was visiting Florida.
And months later, I got subpoenaed to appear in court for the state versus this guy for his trial.
And I just threw it in the trash.
And they never heard him from him.
I never heard from it again.
Yeah.
You might want to edit that now.
That's a subpoena.
Summons are different.
He might want to bleep subpoena.
Okay.
That's what happened to me with jury duty.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, because I did a report on Al Capone in high school, and one of his quotes was,
I refused to be judged by a jury of my peers too foolish to get out of jury duty.
So I was like, well, how do you get out of jury duty?
And then the whole answer was you just tell them you didn't get it.
Yeah.
It just comes in the mail.
Yeah.
It's not a subpoena where you're required to show.
With red letters on it.
Bro.
I threw my fucking jury summons as a way for, I mean, can't tell you for how long.
Yeah.
And then one day, I mean red out.
The envelope, it looked like a Christmas fucking.
It looked like a Christmas car.
And I was like, the fuck's this.
And it was like mandatory, whatever, whatever.
I get to court and I walk up and it's a black lady at the window.
And she goes, got one at ease, huh?
And I said, yeah, well, listen.
And I do the whole, you know, it's a summons.
That's a suggestion.
We'd like you to come to court.
Spina, I got to be here.
So jury summons.
She goes, listen, you're not wrong.
But good luck.
Good luck telling them that.
Dude, I got stuck on a three and a.
Oh, that's the one you...
Almost a month.
Yeah.
They got started.
They gave it to me.
Like a cartel case.
Yeah, it was.
It really was a cartel case.
And I was on it for three and a half weeks every day.
They got my ass.
They got me back.
Mr. Sickler, and you live at 526.
Yeah, they were doing that where they'd look right at in the eyes and write down shit.
That's back when you would, you would just go, I live in the valley.
Like, oh, say the city.
We don't want to fucking say the city.
This is public court.
Like, what are you doing?
Anyway, yeah, I remember that story.
And I wanted to hear it again.
Oh, my God.
All right.
We only got a couple left here for you.
Okay.
Now we're going to get, this one here is, you know, it's equally disturbing and also wildly hilarious.
Okay.
As all of these are.
So, Honey to do with y'all episode 263 here.
This is Lonnie Green.
Now, the setup to this is Lonnie met a girl on a day, on this day he's talking about.
Okay.
So he just meets this girl.
Never met her before.
Okay.
Okay.
We're about to hear.
He's like, on a date.
I met this girl.
They go to a Chiefs game.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
Go to a Kansas City Chiefs game.
Um, and then they go back to his place or her place to full round.
Okay.
Okay.
And we start messing around and, you know, I, I went and man, I'm just kind of, I'm eating a pussy out.
Dude, I'm digging in there.
Good.
Trying to do everything I can to get this thing to start shivering,
and quivering on me.
Dude, and I'm fucking, I'm smacking it.
I'm doing everything I can to fucking,
you know, just to get her fucking ass to pop up
or something off his bed.
And all of a sudden, dude, I'm like,
fuck yes, fuck yeah.
Dude, my face is getting old wet, you know,
and I'm thinking, I'm, man, I got something going here.
Dude, and I'm like, ugh, fucking, you know,
and then I got like a chunk in my mouth.
Oh, what?
I'm like, what the fuck?
And I'm like, well, we got to stop.
And I'm like, putting this shit out in the trash can.
And I'm like, you know, and I really did feel bad for her.
I did because she, she was embarrassed, you know, because she's like, you know, I'm going to start her.
It's my period.
It must be my period.
Let's stop here for a second.
I just want to say this.
That's a rough start.
That's a rough start.
Yeah.
I mean, this show would not be the honeydew with y'all if it was just that.
Right.
This is, that's something that happens.
Period.
It's easy.
Period.
Yeah.
And she calls me, she's like, hey, we need to talk, you know, about last night.
And I'm like, yeah, we probably should.
So I go out to her grandparents' house where she was staying with her grandfokes.
And she calls me into the bedroom and I go up there.
And she's like, hey, I wasn't on my period last night.
And I'm like, wait, what do you mean?
You know, and she was like, I was pregnant yesterday.
Like, yesterday.
Yesterday.
And I'm like
She's like, I had a miscarriage glass
And I'm like, you're fucking shitty
My friend chucks with a miscarriage out
He had a miscarriage in his mouth
He was smacking him doing everything he cooked
Because his ego was like, I'm gonna get her
And he ain't a miscarriage, dude
It's so disgusting
This is what I'm saying about you guys, man
Put your dicks away
Put your egos away, man
Oh my gosh
Could you?
Imagine. Oh, God. I couldn't even get over. I can't believe that she even told him. I thought that she might just be like, I'm just going to let that one right. Yeah, I'm going to leave that. Yeah. I'm just be like, goodbye. I'll never see you again. You just met him. I just met him. I just met you today. We're hanging out all day. Tonight, you're eating my pussy. And I have a miscarriage in your mouth. And then the next day I'm like, hey, guess what? Yesterday. I was actually that. Yeah. Some other guys, baby. Yeah. And then if you watch the episode, she begins to tell him why she.
she's there and how
she left and all that stuff.
Yeah, she tells them after the fact.
I'm kind of just...
I don't know what to say.
I mean, come on, man.
How do you do you with you?
You all got the best motherfuckin'
stories out there.
I tell you, it ain't easy to bear your soul
to the internet.
It's an unforgiving dick, as I always say.
Oh, my God.
And I would love if she called in.
I found that story.
Hopefully, like, by the way,
I want the, I want the, what's her name, too, the Nazi throat pillow day court to call and tell us how that date.
I want her to tell us about how many times she's had bad dates.
Oh, man.
Every guy is like.
I want to know about the one that was like, fuck yeah.
Finally.
Look what I got right here.
She's like, yes.
Yes.
Oh, my God, dude, munched on a miscarriage.
Okay.
We have a recurring guests who comes on here.
His name's Mike Frampton.
He's not only one of my phase.
He's an audience fave.
We've nicknamed him the death janitor.
Mike's job used to be.
He was the guy that would clean up the murder scene, the suicide.
After everyone's gone and done whatever, the cleanup crew.
The stuff that's left.
Yeah, that's him.
That's him.
And they see some gnarly shit.
Listen, go watch all of his episodes.
Go watch all these best-of shows and go look for the Mike Frampton ones.
He's got stories.
Now, this one.
some people have heard, some you haven't,
but we chose this Mike Frampton story
specifically for you because I genuinely feel like
this is some shit you would fucking do.
Okay, so we call this one.
Now, Mike has been on, thank you, Kirsten,
he's been on episode 26, episode 84.
This is from episode 170.
Now, this guy's wife has just passed.
Remember, they're the cleanup crew.
Yeah.
So this gentleman in the story,
his wife has just passed.
and he's having a glass of wine in his hot tub and he has a heart attack and he dies in the hot tub.
After his wife passes away, he's just trying to relax.
He has a glass and wine and his hot tub.
He has a heart attack in the hot tub.
He dies in the hot tub.
All right.
Now, we're going to roll the first clip of this here.
And so when we got there, everything was shut off and it was just like a big giant hot tub full of brown soup.
And so the corner went out and they would have.
grabbed the bones out of the soup.
When we stirred it up a little bit, there was, there was full hands, like the
skin, the skin, all the skin de-gloved off of everything.
It fucking boiled him.
He's in there eight to nine hours.
And after you die and decompose, it just falls off you like, uh, what's that rib,
ribmatism?
What's that guy?
Fucking throwing ribs everywhere right now.
Yeah.
It's like he made like a
Like he smoked with brisket or whatever
Yeah
Long slow cooked them
And when they get there
Go ahead
I think he was in there for a couple weeks
Before they found him
Which is why he's up
Eight to nine weeks
Yep
He's in there eight
And it's almost two months
Two months
Just sitting in hot
Hot water because it's going
It's not turning it off
It's just fucking 100 and whatever
Just cooking that dead ass body
And they get there and it's soup
And they got to stir it up
And he got full
Wait what part you said
this is something you would do.
Yeah.
What's the part I would do?
Go ahead, Carson.
Let's send him with that second clip.
And then my partner said, go and turn the power on so we can start cycling the jets out.
Well, the power kicked off because the jets ran like hot or whatever.
And so when I was like, are you sure?
And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I hit this power breaker.
And I heard the jets fire up, but I can't see the hot tub.
And I hear him gagging and screaming.
And what happened was we turned the fucking hot tub back off.
so he got sprayed
by like 40 jets
full of decom
it went in his fucking eyes
it went in his mouth
he's gagging and throwing up
he's getting angry
could you imagine
you're eating that
it's going in your eyes
your eyes it's over
it's in your eyes
fuck the nose in the mouth
you can spit it out
it's in your eyes bro
decom it's decon it's just decom
a two month old dead body
soup
spraying
This is making me feel sick.
This is the part where I feel like you would get a, this is your twisted sense of humor right here.
So let's go.
So we get this job cleaned up.
We disinfect the tub as best as we can.
We fill it up and then fill it with disinfectant because we needed to dispose of the hot tub.
Take it to the dump.
It's already disinfected.
We already took all the stuff in the truck.
But what does he do with it?
He has it shipped two and a half hours from our.
job site to his backyard.
No.
Because it was a brand new hot tub.
And he used to have parties at his house and get people in that hot tub.
And he'd be like, hey, guess where I got this?
And then he would start showing them the pictures of that day.
The pictures.
His partner did that?
Yeah, the picture.
Can you imagine being in a hot tub party?
He's like, you know what you're sitting in right now?
Look at this shit.
You're just having the time of your life.
You would definitely do that to somebody.
she would have been like,
it just ruined their day.
Not just tell the story.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, but look.
Look at this.
This is a full hand.
Yeah.
This is, this is a de-gloved hand.
I would kill somebody, dude.
I would fucking fight.
I would be, I would be my first fistfighting trunks.
His partner's favorite thing is just to see people get depressed.
Groups up at once.
That's his idea of a party is seeing people get sad.
He's like, look at that.
freaking out
man.
What's the
big deal?
He's going
under and shit.
Let me get
another
Pekla.
Yeah.
It's so
dark and
twisted to
people,
dude.
It is so
fucked up
to do that
the people.
He shipped it.
He shipped it to his house.
Oh my God.
Can you match?
He's got a
screen and he's
showing it from the hot tub.
You know,
right here,
right where that jet is.
Especially like girls,
like girls
having a good time.
Oh,
yeah.
Oh,
yeah.
I got this new bikini.
He's like, check this shit out.
You're sitting in a pool of someone's intestines right now.
You got a new hot tub?
I sure did.
Oh, bro.
I definitely feel like you would do that to somebody.
I feel like you would do that with somebody.
I love that you thought I would do that.
For sure.
For sure.
Just ruin their day.
A friendship.
The party's over.
It's over.
Once somebody starts screaming,
you know, you don't have to.
fuck's in that you know it's over like what everybody's
i cleaned it no i cleaned it out it was just a
i had it in my eyes it ain't a big deal it's just like a little
domer pool you know just decock it's so fucking disgusting dude that's really gross man
oh it's one of my face that's mike frampton y'all how do you do with you all five dollars
canadian he's a canadian yeah that's one story right he's got hundreds a career of them
yeah it's all right
Now, we're going to wrap up on this here.
So this episode that we're about to do is currently we're going to tease this week's episode.
Okay.
So this is a brand new episode of the Honeydew with you all.
You're going to see this Thursday.
His name is Bradford Spencer.
Okay.
Bradford Spencer is a prosthetic tech.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
And he worked in orthotics and prosthetics.
And he explains that you can lose limbs or need prosthetics due to a lot of things.
disease, accidents, and very, very rarely, electively.
Lose a prosthetic or lose a limb?
Lose a limb.
Okay.
You can choose to get a prosthetic over having a limb.
You could choose a prosthetic because you don't want a limb anymore.
Like, I would like to volunteer to lose this limb.
It happens.
Yeah.
I've heard of this before.
So we have a gentleman who comes in to see Bradford.
He says his arms hurting, but no sane doctor.
is going to amputate without just no reason.
So this guy goes to an O&P, and he asks the doctor, hypothetically,
if someone were to lose an arm, where's the best place to lose that arm?
And thinking nothing of it, the doctor tells him about halfway down the arm.
Goes home, pre-dials 911, fires up the band saw.
This guy cut off his own arm electively for a prosthetic.
Well, you said he was in pain.
He said he was in a lot of pain.
This guy's like, this person says, all right, I want my prosthetic.
We make him a prosthetic.
This is like over a year long process.
Then this guy basically goes, you know what?
Let's go for two and does the exact same thing.
No, dude.
Yeah.
And he made himself a double amputee.
Willful.
We wanted to know the answer to the question just like you do.
So we were like, hey man, weren't you in pain like on that one side?
Like why?
Hold on.
Why do you think?
I feel sick right now, dude.
I feel actually sick.
This is what it's like on your show, dude.
This is what it's like.
I feel so emotionally sick.
right now. This guy willfully cut one arm off. The only thing that I, the only like thing that
occurs to me is I know there's, there's like psychologically there's people who want to be,
um, like, cared for and, and have a desire. You know, there's people who are like, I want to be
blind or like they want that charity case. Yeah. Some, some sort of being, yeah, being cared out.
I mean, that's the only thing that I don't understand why anyone else.
would want to lose their limbs.
So I don't know.
Especially both of them.
Both electively.
Yeah.
Electively.
I just use the bandsaw.
Just like, I'm not going to go do a proper.
I'm going to pre-call 911.
I'm going to go home.
I've got a bandsaw and I'm going to put my arm right in that thing.
Yeah.
And you know that like maybe with a clean cut of a bandsaw, the hospital's like, all right,
we can try to reattach it.
I don't know.
I don't want that shit.
No, there's an accident.
Yeah.
Then they're like, well, why the fuck would you do it twice?
To to two your arms.
Yeah.
And he said symmetry.
I don't like it to be.
The hand goes with it, bro.
You know what I mean?
It's like wallpaper.
I don't want it to be a little off in this section.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
It did it himself.
Did it himself at home.
How it's the most painful way.
And you can't drug yourself up.
If you do, you can fall, slip, cut.
I mean, there's.
so much that goes into the thought of all of these episodes that you guys do.
I want to go home, dude.
I mean, I appreciate you being here today.
It's so fucked up.
Oh, my God.
It's just wanted to look right.
It's like when you get a suit tailoring.
Even, yeah, yeah.
One leg's on the other one, man.
Can you do the hem a little bit?
Wild, dude.
Wild.
Thank you for being here, Tom Segorah.
I wish I could say thank you for having me.
You're welcome.
Guys, honeydue with you all on the Patreon.
It's $5 a month.
$8 a month.
We only have two tiers.
$8 a month to get the way back early.
Everything's all censor free, ad free.
You get premium content on that $8 tier.
You're not getting anywhere.
The Baltimore Junkyard series is coming up.
You will see that this Thursday.
So this Thursday, you got a lot going on.
You got Tom Segoor right now on Tuesday.
This Thursday, you got this episode of the Patreon.
that we just showed you and you got the way back the Baltimore Junkyard.
No one's doing what you do, man.
No one's doing a show like this.
It's fucking so unique what you've built with this.
It's unbelievable.
These stories are crazy.
They're just endless and they're out there and it's just you doing it.
I think it's the best idea.
It's crazy though.
It is fucking nuts.
I am the paramedic now at the party.
Yeah.
Where I'm like, you can't believe it.
Here's another one real quick I want to tell you.
I think I might have told you this one before, but this poor gentleman, he's on one of the best ofs.
He wanted to commit suicide and then, you know, for a while, you don't.
And then when he finally said, no, I am, he willfully laid down on some train tracks in front of a train that was coming and woke up in the hospital.
And he woke up legless because he laid on the wrong set of track.
Howdy-do you all got $5 a month?
That's true story.
It's on the best-of episodes.
Go watch all the best ofs on the huddy-do.
support the special, support the honeydew, support Tom Segora.
You got the new movie sometime at 2026.
You got a new special right now.
Special's out and the series will come back.
Teacher.
Teachers out right now on Netflix and Bad Thoughts Season 2 will come out later this year.
I really appreciate you sitting across doing this one.
It was a lot of fun.
Thanks for having me.
I got to go to church.
Thank you guys.
We'll talk to y'all next week.
