The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - 378: Bruce Bruce | The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler #378 | Full Episode

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Bruce Bruce! Check out his new Netflix special, I Ain’t Playin. Bruce Bruce joins me to Highlight the Lowlights of growing up an only child raised by a single mom in Atlanta, to becoming a young father while grinding multiple jobs on his way through comedy. We get into some wild full-circle moments he’s experienced since going all-in on stand-up, how he handled the loss of his mother, and he shares a hilarious story about the time Martin Luther King Jr. kicked his family out of his childhood home! 🎟️See me live. All tickets at www.ryansickler.com/tour 🎤Check out my new standup special “Live & Alive” streaming on my YouTube now! http://youtu.be/PMGWVyM2NJo?si=SrhXjgzR1pe6CyYE 👉 Subscribe for more standup and new episodes of The HoneyDew, The Wayback, and more! http://youtube.com/@rsickler ✅ Subscribe to my Patreon “The HoneyDew with Y’all”! Get The HoneyDew audio and video a day early, ad-free, for just $5/month! Want more? Upgrade to the $8/month premium tier and get everything above plus The Wayback a day early, ad-free, censor-free, and exclusive bonus content you won’t find anywhere else! http://patreon.com/RyanSickler 📧What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] 👕Get Your Merch👕 http://www.bonfire.com/store/ryansickler/ 🎧 Listen to my Podcasts 🎧 The HoneyDew - http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-honeydew-with-ryan-sickler/id527446250 The Wayback - http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-wayback-with-ryan-sickler/id1721601479 Patreon - http://www.patreon.com/ryansickler 📣 Follow Me📣 ▪ Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/ryansickler/ ▪ TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/@ryan.sickler ▪ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/RyanSicklerOfficial 🕸️ryansickler.com/ 🍈thehoneydewpodcast.com/ 🦀Subscribe to The CrabFeast Podcast🦀 http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dallas, Texas, I'm headed your way, March 27th and 28th. Spokane, Washington. I'll see you guys April 3rd and 4th. Buffalo, New York, I'm headed your way. I'll see you guys Friday, April 24th, and Saturday, April 25th. Get your tickets now at Ryan Sickler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the honeydew, y'all.

We're over here doing it in the Night Pants Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, Ryan Sickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. You know I'm going to thank you guys for not only supporting this show, but for supporting anything I do. Come see me on the road. Tickets are on my website at Ryan Sickler.com. And if you've got to have more of this show, then you've got to have our Patreon. It's the honeydew with y'all.

It is this show with you guys, and it's the wildest thing on Patreon. It's five bucks a month. And I promise you, it's hundreds of episodes. it's worth a cup of coffee. All right. And if you or someone you know has a story that has to be heard, please submit it to Honeydood Podcast at gmail.com. If you sent one in before, send it again.

We get a bunch bump it up to the top. We would love to do your story. All right. That's the biz. You guys know what we do here. We highlight the low lights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I am very excited to have this guest here.

First time on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, Bruce Bruce! Welcome to the Honeydew! How you, brother? What's happening, man? What's happening? I told you. I'm tired here, but I got it. I'm a fan. I'm so stoked to see you in here today. Thank you. Thank you. I was stoked when she said, what about Bruce Bruce? My response was, fuck yeah. So I couldn't wait, man. Great to meet you. Thank you for being here. Thank you. Before we get into your story right there, promote everything and anything you would like.

I'm Bruce Bruce. If you want to talk to me or see me, go to www.w.w. Bruce Bruce.com. And I got a netflix special out now. look at it, see it. Trust me, it's really good. I put my foot in those. I did one in 15 years, and I decided I'm going to do another one in 2007, so check you boy out, Bruce Root. What's it called? I ain't playing.

All right. You haven't done a special in 15 years? Is that right? That's right. Why? Just didn't want to do it, man. I know you've been out there working the whole time. I know you just didn't craft an hour to decide now.

But, you know, I'm kind of like a pimp preacher and a player, so I got three, four jobs that I got to do it. You know, it's not the PPP long. It's a pimp playing preacher. That's a way better. It's a way better. It's been really good, man. So, you know, I just decided now, since I did this one, and it's doing so well, I'm

going to do another one in 2007. I'm working on it right now. Okay. So you're going from 15 years or not one. Every two. Every two. See, that's what Carlin used to do. You're calling a bad dude, man.

About two and a half, too. That's what I say. He used to be. considered, you know, our prolific writer and all this. You're like, damn, two, two and a half years. These motherfuckers are turning them out every six months now, every year. There's a special a day. Do you know that?

Yeah, but are they good, though? The key thing, are they good. There's quantity. Yeah. But you see the difference in the quality. Absolutely, absolutely. All right, man. So you got the Netflix special.

You're out on the road. You're sitting here with me now. Tell me, let's get into it. Where are you originally from? Originally from Atlanta, Georgia. Okay. A-T-L. From the hood now, you know, with home training.

You know, it's a difference. You can be from the hood, but you got to have home training. Explain. I'm not going to explain it to you. You know, I grew up around drugs and everything, but my mother said you touch it, I kill you. So I was more scared of my mother than the dudes on the street. So they'd be like, Bruce, you want to sell somebody? I knew my mother would kill me and you for letting me do it.

So, no, man, I didn't do it, man. And you have siblings? None. So you're an only child. Only child. Every thought I was spoiled. I wouldn't spoil. I just like attention.

All right. And mom is like, mm-mm, it's not my son. Now, you know, my mother told me, I don't know if she lied to me, but she said,

I asked why I didn't have any sisters and brothers. She said she didn't want nobody with me. Now, that can be one of the biggest lies ever heard, but it sounds good. You know,

but she said she didn't want anybody but me. And I was a kid in the neighborhood that messed with everybody. If the guys on the corner singing, four or three or four guys singing, I'll run between

and slap all of them. Oh, okay. Like, before singing, I just, because I want them to run at me. I want to play with them. Yeah. And I will, I'll be like 12, they'd be like 16. They'd be singing, hoo-hoo, clack-cla-cla. I slept off and just run.

So that was me as a key. Okay. I was a cool kid, but I just stayed in stuff. I can climb a tree. So you got in trouble, but you're not dealing, you're not running with the drugs and all that stuff. No, no, no, no. I stayed in good trouble. I used to climb a tree like a squirrel, buddy.

I'm talking, I get to a tree, go up the tree. But before I, before I climbed a tree, I feel my pockets up with flat rocks. You remember the flat rocks? Yeah, you can curve real good. Man, I will pop everybody to walk by. They didn't know what a rock should come from. You're something.

People are rocks. I'm on a tree branch. Somebody said, somebody threw a rock. Now, definitely hit the drunk guys. You know, the guys come out of the street. Hell yeah. Somebody throw rocks out of here and I'm going to shoot the shit out of them, you know. And they'd be me.

I'd be up in a tree. And then I come down and then I got called a couple of times. They beat me up, but I didn't care. And I was quick. Oh, I was quick. You couldn't catch me. You could not catch me, man. But, you know, kids don't have fun like that no more, man.

No, that's your total. They like this. Yep. Handphone, everything. How old are you now? Oh, man, I just turned 64. You look great. Yeah, man.

You're black soap, man. I thought you were going to say you were in your 50s. Oh, all the way from Africa, black soap. You know, you got. Okay, so I'm growing up in the 80s. You're growing up really in the 70s then. Yeah, yeah. And we really did have the golden era.

Like, no Internet. Nothing. Get outside. Yeah, my mother said, you're going to stay in the house or going outside. I saw a lady doing this thing with her kids online called. We're pretending it's the 90s today. And she's got her little like seven and eight year old like outback. They're not just, they don't have to run a neighborhood.

But she's like, nope, you're going to stay out here today. No phones or nothing. Like, when can we come in? She's like, when it's dark. Oh, my goodness. They were miserable. That's like, that's what we did. Man, my wife, for, matter of fact, my nephew's sister.

And she don't, she's, what, 14? She hadn't lifted her head in 30 days. On that phone, just walking through the house. And just bust out laughing. Something to make her laugh. Yeah. You take that phone, she is in La La Land. She don't know what to do.

She's miserable. She's mean mugging. Her mother walked by, what you're looking at? You know, but you take that phone, they ain't got numbers. As long as she had that phone, she's good. So I want to ask you, mom's trying to put you on the straight and narrow. Why? She did.

Is it because she had come up a certain way or she knows, look, financially, we're stuck here, but I'll be damn if you're going to run the streets. But she knew the neighborhood we was living in as well. You know what I'm saying? Is she from the area? Like she grew up there? No, no. My mother, we moved over there after Martin Luther King kicked us at our house.

You know, we, what? It was her in this house on Sunset Avenue. In Atlanta? Yeah, they couldn't afford to buy it. And the guy said, I got to buy her. And it was Martin Luther King. Get the fuck out of here. And Martin Luther King kicked us out of our house.

Hey, you were all the way in his dream. It's awesome. have a dream. I have a dream. And you all got to get the fuck out of the way. You know what I'm saying? Is that real? That's real, man.

He became the property. It was crazy. It was crazy. I said something to Martin's son about it, right? He said, I can remember that. He said, I can remember. Wow. The people who lived in your home after you were Martin Luther King and his stuff.

Corrata Scott Kings and that out. Come out of that. They were like, put them out. No, she didn't say that. But we could afford it. My aunt, my mother had two sisters or brother. They were just renting. house and they just couldn't afford it and the guy said I really want you all to get it but I got a buyer

and it was Martin Luther King that's crazy is that crazy yeah he kicked this out I mean is that house now still there but is it historic you know what I mean like as the state stepped in at this point over the years that is crazy and over the years they have added on to the house you know how these and room and room it's huge and it wasn't that big oh I see and they have added on just going back and it's a is it a museum now too or is people still living in it somebody might still You know, it might be some dudes that's in the hood living in it. You never know now because it's the hood now. That's wild.

Yeah. Yeah. So where do you go from there then? We go across. It was a street called Simpson Road. We had to go across. Now, Simpson Road was the hood. You know, and once you cross, it was the hood.

But what Martin Luther King House was was really nice. But when we had to go in the hood. So, you know, I had to meet all the crazy guys, you know, because everybody got hood names. I don't know if you grew up right there, but everybody had a hood. I'm from Baltimore originally, but I know what you're talking about because it'll be This side of the street's really nice. Yes. Everything's clean over in the churches of the night.

This side of the street is like, man. And it's literally the other side of the street. It is. It's not a block down. It's like that side of the street. And there was people in my neighborhood. They had nicknames according to how they look. Okay.

Like Big Face. He had a real big face. You know, because he was kind of slow. Big Face, tell him, yeah, that's what him. Had a dude named Monster because he was ugly. Yeah, that's what I. One dude named Superboy because he's like Superman. Okay.

One dude like an Indian, so we call him a little E. chin had a real big chin like Tom Slick. You remember a cartoon chump? Yeah. Chin, you know, tiptoe because he was born himself, you know, hand like this. He walked like, we call him tiptoe. Did you have a nickname? They call you something.

Lou Bruce. That's gone. I'm going to tell you down to Luke Bruce's got. When do you become Bruce Bruce? Well, I thought of a good name because my mother used to have to call me twice and she'd say if I had to say it the third time. Building a great wardrobe comes down to finding pieces that feel good, mix well and last. And that is exactly what you get with Quince. With premium fabrics and well-thought

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So I never wanted to be called. That's where it's from. Yeah. Two times and that is it. That's it. Because that woman in, I didn't know she can wrestle. Your mom? Yeah, my mother put me in the figure four once in time. I was like, what the?

Rick Flann. And then she looked at me and said, you didn't think I knew that, did you? A figure four. And was trying to break my leg. I'm like, this is a, she is a monster. Well, my mother didn't play, man. My dad was in the Air Force. You know, she ran him off.

She definitely ran him off. What do you mean, ran him off? Just wouldn't cooperate with it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And she, you know, on her deathbed, she, you know, as she got, when she passed, she told me she said, I really ran him off, you know. She admitted it, you know.

But he was a cool dude. What I could remember, he was cool. He was a medic in the Air Force? So did he, was he, like, he stayed in the Air Force? He served in the Air Force, so he was gone. Yeah. Yeah, he was gone all the time. And he flew chopros?

He flew. He flew. And he flew jets. And then when he retired. tired, he was an anesthesiologist, he was a doctor. When do you, when does he come back in your life? Never. He never came back.

Then how do you know all this? I found him. I had a private detective to find him. Oh shit. And we met up. And he, man, when we met up, he was like, you know, he was ready for anything I had to throw at him. You can see the sternness in his face.

And I broke it down so quick. I said, hey, man, I just want to see. How old are you when this happened? I was 40. Oh, you're a grown ass man. And I say, man, I just want to let you know, I got three kids. You got three grandkids. What made you want to do this?

I just wanted to see him. My mother said, what you want to find him for? I said, I just want to have a little closure. And come to find out, he was still the same dude that I can remember. Okay, so I was going to ask you, what's the last time you remember seeing him? How old before this 40-year-old? I was five. Five.

So 35 years? You're both completely different people. And it was crazy. He knew exactly who I was. Right away. Like when he said, I knew that was you on TV when I first saw. Oh. He knew that.

Not when he saw you. He knew you on TV. He knew exactly what I was. And he was cool, man. He was really cool. He never tried to reach out or message you on social media. Never. Never, never sent any money or nothing.

But I didn't, I didn't really care because my uncle stepped in. My mother's sister married this guy that thought I was the coolest kid in the world. He told me and said, you ain't got a word about your dad. You got an old uncle. All right. So you had a father figure. Yeah. So he was about five feet tall, you know, about a 93 in the waist.

You got to worry about a lot of shit. It sounds like he said he's like he needed help, but he was like, he was like, he was like an egg with a belt on. The little shit, man, like, you're my protecting. But that was my dude, though, man. He taught me things, taught me about life. He taught me about how to treat women. He taught me how to cook.

Everything. He was a chef. He was a baker. He used to always say, I'm going to stick with you for the rest of your life. So that's how he would explain it to you. And then he never believed in whooping you. That wasn't his thing. He didn't believe in that.

I think his dad used to abuse him. And he didn't believe in that. So he'd say, I'm going to give you the good, the bad and ugly. He said, so you got sense enough to pick the good, the bad and ugly, right? I said, yes, sir, he's all right. And that's the way he laid it out to me like that.

That was my dude, man. He passed away. He died in 93. He'd been gone for 20, 33 years now. Can we go back to meeting your dad? My dad? No, I'm saying the story of you. Oh, yeah, man.

So you're five years old's the last time you see the man. Then I found him I was 40. I made a restaurant in Atlanta. Because you've hired a detective. You don't find them. You don't, do you find them without that? Like, is there, are you looking? on Facebook or your children looking for grand.

You know what I mean? None of that 23 and me at the time. Right. The detective said, what's his name? What's his first name? What's his last name? He said, where was he raised up? And he found him.

He said, how long did you take him? About two days. He said, I think I found your dad. He said, I called him. He hung the phone up. Right? And he said, when he hung the phone up, I called and say, hey, I'm calling on on behalf of your son, Bruce.

He said, he picked the phone up. He said when he heard the message, he picked the phone up. Old days when you could start talking on a machine. He didn't interrupt that like, I'm here. He said, yeah. It's going on with my son, he said, he just want to see you. And he set up a meeting place, and we met a gladys chicken and waffle in Atlanta.

And I met with him. And we was cool. What was that like? Because you're Bruce at that point, too. People know who the fuck you are. He was on the defense. He was on the defense. But I mean, also, are you trying to sit in this public place and people are like,

Bruce, Bruce. All the time. Can I get a picture? But while you're sitting with him too. They don't even know what's going on. I don't know that he's seen this dude in 35 years. God forbid you're like, please, could I just have a moment? Then it's like, Bruce, Bruce is an asshole all over the place.

Then he got real comfortable. He did. Yeah, he's just like, man, you know. So I started telling him stuff I can remember. Because when he used to come home and leave, he either be a police, like he'd come on for 60 days. Or he'd be a driver bus for the city. And I said, you remember he used to drive the bus? And I used to ride with you because he didn't allow anybody to keep me.

So I'd ride with him on the bus all through the route. through his own show. He said, you remember that? I said, yeah, I remember everything, you know. And I remember he was just cool, man. He was funny, man. He was really funny. He'd get off work and then he'll get to the house. He'll walk all the way down the street. Then when he see me at, like, he can't walk. He'll fall on the ground, you know, and I have to try to help him up. He was just a cool dude like that, man. And the only thing I can remember is good things about him. He never sent in him, but I didn't care. My uncle was dead. My uncle was my dude, man. Yeah. And then after that, did you continue to

to stay in touch? Stay in touch with him. And was he a grandfather to his grandkids too? Never met them. What? He never met them. And it was crazy. Was that on purpose or did he pass before it?

At the time, my grandkids were living in another state. And but my baby boy looks just like him and acts just like him. It's crazy because they look alike. He's like 6'4. My baby boy is 6'4, close to 6'5. He's my road manager as well. And when I see him, I said, well, he looked like my dad. And because I don't want to.

I look like the postman or the mechanic. No, I'm joking. But my mother, she just, she'd say, yeah, I did. I did. I just, I was so hard on him. But my mother was listening to other women that are not married, telling her how to treat her husband and you don't have a husband. And that's what happened.

Yeah. Okay. And so you grew up in Atlanta in that area there. And then when do you head out? Oh, when I graduated high school. But I always helped my mother. I had to stay. I, man, I graduated with scholarships and everything.

You did? Military. Oh, man, I was a military fanatic. I didn't go, though. I had a colonel said, listen. You wanted to go? Yeah, but I had to help my mother. He said, I'm going to, he said, I'm going to get you five years and make up your mind.

He said, because I could have went to, what's the military school in the West Point? Yeah, upstate, New York. New York. I could have went there. And he said, I'm going to give you five years to make up your mind. And he said, after five years, he said, they're going to dismiss it. He said, but between those five years, if you want to go into military school, you can. And I worked and helped my mother, and I started doing comedy.

And when I hosted Beatty coming view in New Orleans, I was coming from New Orleans. We had did 40 days in New Orleans, taping this show. Damn. We had a van, so we got pulled over by the State Patrol in Alabama. He said, what are you guys doing your band or something? He looked at the car and I said, oh, my God, that's Colonel Newton. This was the colonel that was teaching him in my high school in Atlanta. And I can remember him saying he was from Alabama.

And I can remember him saying he was going to move back to Alabama. And he said, I need to see his driver's license. And I put out driver's license. He looked at him. He said, why you didn't ever take that scholarship? He knew exactly who I was. Yeah. That's his first.

I said, well, sir, colonel, I say, I'm a professional. Is everybody in a van like, what the fuck's going? I got my hair style, my nail tech. Yeah, they're like, what the fuck going on? A couple of comedians and everything. I said, well, I'm a professional comedian. He did like this. He said, I can see that.

Because he can remember being in school. He said, I'll tell you what. I said, I just got through doing a TV show in New Orleans. It's called BETT Comic View. I said, check it out. And I said, he said, oh, I ain't got to check it out. He said, I know you're funny. And he gave me.

the license back, he shook my hand, he said, you take care of yourself. Just like, oh, you gave me good bumps, man. Yeah, he was, he was cool. That's crazy that that loop gets closed. What's crazy, man, when he looked at my license, he said, why didn't you take that scholarship? He knew, when he saw my name, he knew exactly who I was. He'd been thinking about you, too. Yeah, but he really cared.

He really cared about it. Yeah, he did. And everybody thought he was a good old boy. You know, he wasn't, man. He was, he was just cool white dude. You know what I'm saying? Just cool white dude. When West Jeffers took flight in 1996, the vibes were up

different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion. Inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. And he was a state patrol in, we was in Alabama, Montgomery, Montgomery, Alabama. No shit. Yeah. And what sort of jobs are you working to help? mom before comedy. Like, are you working in high school, too? Oh, yeah. What are you doing? I worked in, I worked in sixth or seven grade. You know, my uncle worked in a bakery. I worked

in a bakery. My uncle baking cakes and pies. And then I started working at a barbecue restaurant, and then I ended up managing it. And I was a manager 18 years ago. You really did do. Yeah. Yeah. Were you, are you good? Do you still make barbecue? Oh, yes, sir. Oh, yes, sir. Oh, absolutely. Man, I could have you crying in here. Really, you know. And I had a waitress one time. Her name was Cindy. She said, I saw this comedian. And he was at the comedy club. Me and Lord went to see her boyfriend name was Lord. And I'm going to tell you so crazy about women that's smart.

I said, do you love Lord? She said, no, his parents are rich. She already knew she would have married him and everything because, I mean, his dad had a hundred million. So he's probably 115 years old. He's getting ready to croak any day now. And she said, no, I don't really love him, but his parents are filthy rich. And she told me, said, I went to this comedy club the other night.

This was around 85, 86. And I say, was it a comedian funny? She said, he was really funny. She said, but I told Lord, Bruce is just as funny as he is like that. She said, we've been in the kitchen. And he's just, he's so funny. And I said, what was his name? She said, Steve Harvey.

I never forget that. And I say, she said, I said, how he's light skin got you real funny. And I started keeping up with Steve. And that's how I really, really knew who Steve was. he was doing the comedy cafe day. It was up in Marietta in Atlanta. And I didn't know anything. And then I hired this guy.

This is what made me go on stage. I hired this guy. He's older guy. He used to work for the company years ago, but he went in the Navy. So I hired him. And I'm in the kitchen acting crazy. He used to stare at me. He was a black guy.

He said, you ever been on stage? I said, no. He said, you need to go on stage. He said, don't waste your time here. He said, you got it. I said, how you know that? He said, I'm going to bring you something tomorrow. He brought me an album.

It was him. He was a comedian. Is that right? What's his name? His real name was Willie Dismuch, but his stage name was Reverend Mule. And he was a duet with a guy named Dr. Arahead. It was called Reverend Mew and Dr. Ahrad. I've heard of Reverend Mule.

They was on stage together, right? And he had an album. Yeah. And he was in it. The way the album was made, he was dressed just like Fred Flintstone. He had on a dress like Fred Flintstone. He had a tree in his hand like a baseball bat. And Dr. Aarhead was at the catcher's plate.

And the name of the album was called So You Want to Know Baseball. And it was funny. He said, take you home and listen to it. I think you'd like it. Only problem, he was an alcoholic, ex-Navy and all that. He's eating he going on stage. And he made me go on stage. He said, you need on stage.

And he wrote my first set. Did he? Yes, he did. He did. And I really didn't take it serious then. I left the restaurant business and started working for Frito-O-Lay potato chip. Did you? Yeah.

Celebrating chips. Yeah. Delivering chips. What's your favorite? What's your favorite chip to this day? You still like them? I used sell a bag and eat three bags. I'm telling you, I was coming up short every month.

I said, somebody is stealing from me. My first person's fucking books ain't out, though. You know, it just... I was so on E3. But what was crazy? He stayed in touch with me. Like, he stayed and just, I was young. You had to care about somebody back then to stay in touch.

Yeah, man. He stayed in touch. It ain't in text. You know what I mean? You got to know if they're home and call and shit. And man, I was married. I was a young dude married. I was young and he always called.

He said, you went on stage yet? I said, no, he said, you need to go on stage. He's telling me that all the time. And when I went on stage, he was there. He was. He was there. Damn, he really did. He really did care.

He said, I got it. He said, I see it. You got it. He said, I see you being on and off a plane all the time. He's telling me that. He said, but I don't see your wife. And he's right. She's gone.

You did get divorced? Yeah. Yeah. Best thing ever happened. to me. Why? How old were you when you got married? Your young man? 20. 20. Oh, 20. Yeah. You can't even drink yet. That's it. You're a baby. Hey, man. Didn't have no hair on my face or nothing. How old was she young as well? She was 21. Yeah, I mean. And I go in a look at the store and get a six pack of beer. He's all right.

I like, look, look, your kid. Don't come here playing games. Let me see your ID. You know, I'm looking at the baby face. And I show him the ID. He's, he said, you know, he's old dude. He's already drunk because he's working as this thing. I'm looking. Is this you? I said, this is me. I'll be back tomorrow. All right, then he'd sell it to him. And then I ended up getting it. What made me really pursue comedy? Wait, real quick. How long were you married?

10 years. Oh, wow. Okay. You have children from all from that marriage. Okay. And when she said, you're never making it as a comedian. Oh. When I heard that, I'm like, really?

That put fuel on the fire. How long into the relationship? relationship was that? Oh, at the end, like last three years, you know, the first two years we married you had thought that it was made by God. You know what I'm saying? You thought it was the best thing to wear, and then she just got crazy, jealous, insecure, you know. And said those words to your face, you'll never make it. And I'm working three jobs at the time. I used to work all the time. Yeah, what else are you doing with comedy? You're doing comedy at night. You're doing free to LA during the day.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. And, you know, my supervisor, black guy, he always tried to make fun of me. You know, you're telling any jokes last night? I said, yeah, I talked about supervisors that are stupid on your jaw. And they always give me a hard time. And they're about a bus out laughing.

They know I'm talking to him, but it's indirectly. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? And, oh, okay, okay, whatever. Let's see how your sales is going to look this week because they all want sales, sales, sales, sales. That's all they want. Is that how it worked? Do you get a salary?

You get a salary and commission. On Frito L.A? Yeah, you get 10%. And they don't change it now. I mean, I was going to say, doesn't it kind of sell itself these days? It does, man. But they want more.

They want you to pack the stores. Are you going to pack the stores? No, no vending machines. I just did convenience stores. Okay. And then they had another team that did all grocery stores,

like the Walmart. But you're in charge of going into the store and be like, you guys want Frito Lade chips here. I can sell them to you? Well, no, it's already set up. Okay. It's already set up.

You're just keeping the shelves full. All right. And then you got some stores, well, I want to stay full every day. Some stores you have to go in every day. I see. Every day. Okay. And you got one of the managers just, you know, he wants to be super manager.

And he's going to give you a hard time every time you come in there. So it's one dude. Had a Walmart. I used a service. And I thought he was like the worst dude in the world. He was really cool. But I didn't realize it at first. And the matter he gets, the lower he talks.

So you had to be like, what? He's like, look, when I tell you do something? And that's what he's best. What? What did you say? You heard what I said, man. I tell you, like, what? He's all we get into with the Pepsi, man.

The man, he delivered Pepsi. And the Pepsi got me, man, that son of him. And I say, he's cool. Just talk to him. And I end up seeing this guy years later. He ended up in a district manager for him. I like the big boys, you know. And he was in Dallas airport and walked behind him.

And he had two guys with him. And this is a white dude, right? Two guys, he told me be quite, I put my hands. I said, just give me all your money. I said, give it all to me. In an airport. Yeah, no, we went through baggage. And when you got down, I said, give me all your money.

I said, don't blink an eye. I said, trust me when I tell you, he turned around real slow. He said, man, what are you? He started laughing. Yeah, and he said, what are you doing about? I said, I'm a comedian. He said, I can see that. And he shook my hand.

He hugged me. He was a cool guy. But something he said, he said, he was in Columbia, South Carolina. He said, they decided to go to this comedy club, right? Medicine hat. was there. You remember medicine had? The hypnotist? He said, he didn't believe in hypnotist. He said, he went up there.

Oh, he got called up. He said, and the volunteer, he said, I'm going up there. He said, the guy's rude man. He said, man, he said, if he wouldn't have showed me to take, he said, I want to believe that this stuff he had me doing. I've never been, have you ever been hypnotized? No, I never been hypnotized. Well, he had, this is a salt and pepper, you know, white, no way he's in on. Right, right. Yeah.

And he had him walking around like he was a brother. They told me, like he was a brother. He was like, what's going on? He said, if I wouldn't have saw this tape, he said, I'd never believed it. He said, man, he had me doing all kind of crazy stuff. He had me doing security at the kitchen door. Like, you know, when they bring the food and I, he said, don't let anybody out that door. And every time they trail food, you can't come through here.

He's stopping everybody. Oh, man. He said he could not believe it. And his name was James Pike. I don't forget him. He was a good dude though, man. I have a lot of good people in mind. Yeah, it sounds like you had a lot.

And then they come full circle too. You get to see him again and pay that off. Absolutely. That's nice. Also, like this investment, this belief that they had in this person, you didn't fucking waste it. That's right. You didn't waste it.

You didn't take that five year scholarship or whatever it was. I did, man. But you didn't go fuck off either. You didn't want another way a successful way. So it's really nice that they get to see that. You know, other guys I went to school with. You know, other guys I went to school with. They went in the military.

One dude, he was a sniper, and he did 28 years in the military. And let me tell you, man, this dude is nothing to play with. But if we're here, you and I are we here, we can laugh all day. But something can trigger him. You mess with his kids. You mess with his kids or his wife. He's like, who? You can see a totally different person step in.

And to this day, I think he would. He killed you from a mile away. That motherfucker. Oh, he told me shot somebody two miles away. Two? Two miles, see, and it was five people. Accurately. He said, he had been watching them for seven days.

He watched him for seven days. He said, but he had to get them all at the same time. He said, he was in Kuwait. He said, when he got, when he came out, he said, he just put the rifle. He knew all of them was dead. He said, he saw him fall. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments

are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body, checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan. Live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. That's nuts. And he still had to go to counseling

today for that. I'm sure. And he teaches sniper class and down in poor Jackson, yeah, in Columbia, The fact that the distance and the wind and everything, it's not just a straight. Damn. You got to adjust for the speed. Yeah. And the breathing. Yeah. And the thing is, he'll call me sometimes.

He said, he bruised. I said, what? I got some of the guys here in the class, man. They don't believe I know you, you know. And he said, just say hello to him. And he had me on speaker. Hey, how are you doing? In the military.

He's teaching him a sniper class. He's real positive. But, man, if you trigger him, and he's not a big dude, he's about five. three like a tree stop, I mean, but he can shoot, brother. He can shoot, man. I had the guys, I say, I said, Lester. He said, yeah, I said, show the guy some of your guns. Man, he got like 50 guns.

Really? Yeah, chest. Just an arsenal. Just everything. And I'm going to tell you, he's got a, you tell he's in the military. He'll give you the gun before you get to you, check it. Make sure they ain't loaded. Give it to you.

When you get it back, you check it again. Make sure you didn't put something. That's right. That's right. Man, there's another one that never fall. Yeah. That's right, man. Make sure you didn't slide one in there.

But he's really cool, man. But I was at a comedy club in Greenville. And it's called the Comedy Zone. And in Greenville, the stage is round, it's round over shape. But it's a bar. So people are sitting at the bar and then his tables, right? So right here, my feature, my host and my feet say, man, these three ladies just keep talking at the bar part right there.

And they have told him to shut up. And then, so I go up, I do about 45 minutes. I got to do like 50 minutes. And after I do the 45, I say, you know, y'all been talking the whole show. You know, I say, y'all be interrupting the whole show. And everybody like, yeah, yeah, they start clapping because they want them to shut up, you know. And then I say, why don't you just be quiet? And they said, did you call me a bitch?

And I say, no, but if I did, let me be the first to say, thank you. Like that, right? And she said, my husband ain't never called me no bitch. You ain't going to call me. I said, ma'am, I didn't call you, bitch. I just wanted you to be quiet. She said, she thread me. And she said, oh, we'll do you when you get out this club.

And I heard somebody say, no, you won't. And it was a Lester. He was in the club. You didn't know? I didn't know he was there. He was surprised with him and his wife. And he said, no, you won't. And I said, Lester.

Terrified. It was a dark. I said, Lester. He said, I got her. He said, I promise you, I got her. And I said, no, you got to do it. He said, she moved. I got her.

And usually you need to tell that lady. Yeah, I said, ma'am. I just saved you. You ain't safe. If you live two miles from here, you can still shoot your ass. That dude can shoot, man. I know you won't out of the dark as wild. Absolutely.

And that dude is really good, man. But he's a good friend of mine. We talk. He called me all the time. And he says, man, I've been jumping out of planes. I've got to get a hip replacement. You know, he's saying, I don't miss my hip up. He said, I got a hip replacement.

He said, but they're going to pay for it 100%. But he's cool dude. Can we talk about the first time you become a dad? How old are you when you're? Man, let me tell you, I think I was 20, 21, 20. Yeah, 20. 20. 20, 19.

I was 19. Damn. And you're doing comedy then? I was trying to. I wasn't doing it for a time. Okay. You know, and I was scared to death. The worst thing, it scared me to death.

But when I saw this child, man, I'm like, wow, this child came from me. You know, but when I saw the little girl, I got two boys and a girl. When I saw that little girl got me. Yeah, I have an 11 year old now. She got me. Yeah, she got you. They can just look at you and just, you'll melt like butter. Yeah.

Yeah. So the whole time you're grinding, you have now two kids, you're doing comedy more. When are you like, when are you, what, at what point do you say no more day jobs and this shit? It's comedy full time. When I start going through a divorce. When I was she, you know, she filed for divorce. So for 10 some years, while we all know you as Bruce Bruce, you're also doing a day job. Doing a day job.

And is it the Frito? A y'all? Get the fuck out here. I'm seeing you on TV and you're working Frito L. I used to drive the truck to the club. My car broke down. My car broke down. I'm serious.

I got to get to the club. And you know D.C. Carrey, the comedian? He said, look here. I don't know who driving that potato chip truck out there. They're going to fight you. If you don't get that truck, I had them a parallel park in front of the club. It was crazy. It was super.

clean. I kept the truck clean. I took it to the truck stop, let them, sure wash it, armor all the tires and everything. The whole Frito logo and shit on that. Oh,

that is too much. And I'm like, I'm just standing like I didn't know. I'm there with them. I wait there. Everybody leave then I leave in the truck. No shit. I like hearing that because I had a writing gig

for a long time before I went all the way in because I've got, you know, kid, everything. Oh, yeah. No shit. So when do you say, all right,

fuck it now. I'm going all in. When I was going through divorce, yeah, I was going through it, and I told my supervisor, hey, man, I need a 30-day leave of absence to get my head together. And I knew I want to come back. You know what I'm saying? And that's the same supervisor I used to pick on me all the time. And he got it approved.

And then it was inventory in the truck. I was transferring it to him. He said, you're coming back? I said, I want you look at me real good. Next time you see me, I'll be on TV. Fuck you. Never came back. And as soon as I left, it was on a Friday.

I never forget, had my buddy to pick me up. I had $20 in my pocket. And I say, man, I got 20 bucks. He picked me up and take me home. And he said, okay. He came and got me. I gave him the money. As soon as I gave him the money, my beeper went off.

You remember my beepers, right? I said, pull over, man. Let me use to pay for him. I called this guy named Gary. He had a company club in Atlanta. He said, what are you doing this weekend? I said, working for you. And they ain't never look back.

That's it, huh? That's it. And I've been having fun. I've been having fun, man. Yeah. I have fun. How long? now?

36 years, 36. Yep. A full time. Full time. Well, you go back to even messing around. It's another 10. Oh, man. Let me tell you something.

If I had to get a job today, I'd be in trouble. Yeah, all of us. I can't know. I can work at Elwood's Pie Company, tasting pies, but that's it. I can't do anything. You could be, you could definitely be like a head of the Frito Lay Company or something. You could absolutely be in charge. I want to do a commercial for him, too.

I did. I want to do it. How have you not? But let me tell you this, real quick. Jay Leno did a conference. commercial for Frito L.A. back in the day, 30-some years ago, Doritos. And he came to Atlanta and he talked about Doritos. We had this big corporate meeting and Jay was there. And I said, sir, I'm expiring. I want to be a comic. And he said, what are you waiting on? It's exactly

what he said to me. And I said, well, I want to be a comedian. He said, well, just do it. He said, it's two things that happen. You fall, get back up. He said, but just do it. I said, okay. And he shook my hand and everything. 25 years later, my manager took me to in the magic comedy club in Amosa Beach. On a Sunday night. He said, Jay Leno's going to be in the room. I said, okay. Went in, Jay Newman is Bruce Bruce.

And he walked and I said, Bruce, bro. He said, Bruce, what's going on? Shook his hand. I said, I said, man, I'm a big fan. We talked and everything. I said, you remember you did that commercial with Frito Lade with the Doritos? And you came to Atlanta. You did his corporate meeting.

He said, yeah, yeah, I remember that well. I see, remember this guy came up to you. He said, Bruce, you're not that guy, are you? I said, yep. He remembered who I was. Man, you got some great fucking full circle stories. Yeah, Jay was cool, man. He was cool, man.

Yeah. I said, I am that guy. He said, what did I tell you? I told you to go ahead and do it and I did it. Well, that's the thing, like, I still have younger guys. It's funny to me, like, that people still start doing stand-up comedy. You know what I mean? I'm like, y'all are still starting this, huh?

That's not dying off, huh? That's good. But you sound like an asshole when they ask you for advice. But the truth is, the only way to do this is to do it. It's to do it. It's to do it. There's no, here's an eight-year course. You do these things.

You become a doctor. There is no, you do this. You become a comedy. It is do it. And then also, you got to learn who the fuck you are. That's right. You're comedy. Like, Robin Williams, if he teaches a comedy class, we don't get a Chris Rock or a Dave Chappelle.

That's a totally different person, comedian style. Like, you got to get up there and do it. Do it. There is no. That's the thing about this. And you can't stop. You can't stop. Nope.

There are no shortcuts. And I love it, man. Like you, you know, I travel. a long time I love going on the road I love coming back so kind of balance itself when I leave I'm glad I'm leaving but then when it's time to come home it's time to come home and I like that I've been in I've been places I've never thought I've been Japan China is that for comedy yeah um I've been in Dubai I've been in Russia we didn't do coming in Russia but we passed to Russia and it was it was no different in the States I don't know why people like

where I'm from it's different it's no different the same thing yeah But it was fun. It's a fun journey. Japan was cool. Yeah, what's that? Like, are you doing shows for like expats or what? In Japan, military bases. Yeah.

And I met a lot of guys that was just super cool. But Japan is clean. It's all here. I saw a couple 85 years old speedwalking. I'm like, what in the world? And we was walking down the sidewalk, and I happened to turn around and see him. And old man did me like this. And I'm like, what's the Ais?

Just letting pass. And when they pass, he came in a nod. Speedwalking, 85 years old. Everybody's working out. Everybody's in the yard, breathing. And they smoke more than anybody in the world. Yes, they do. Asians.

In the world. Smoke like a chimney. Am I right? Especially when you go to Vegas and shit too. Man, it's like the Asians love those cigarettes. They love them, man. They love them. Yeah.

They don't care. I say this all the time too The United States We start as this country Where people are like Throwing their people away Like send them to the fucking Americas Get them the fuck out of here

And we're like yeah Give us you're tired You broke, you're poor You're weak Give us all your fucking bullshit So we're this country Of fucking renegades And Yahoo's and shit

Right But we're still When you look at the global aspect of all this When it comes to the United States I feel like we're the teenagers of the planet. And we act like it. We're all

in everybody's business. We're young, dumb, full of come. You can't tell us shit. We'll beat your ass. We know better than everybody. Right. But I always think we should just be pausing and listening to the grandparents of the planet who I believe are, you know, the Asian cultures. And like you say,

they're over there. They're ahead of us. They're fucking clean. They got their shit together. They're taking better care of themselves. You know, they've got that big, family, where they extended family, where they still believe in helping, you know, things like that. And it's 15 and 16 brothers and sisters. Yeah.

I went to England one time and it was just so different, man. The women was so different. They look at you, but they wouldn't come to you. They just, you got to go to them. And they'll talk to you, but you got to approach them. But it's different. It was different. Are you comfortable talking about your mom passing?

Yeah. Like, were you there with her? Did you know it was something that was coming? I knew it was coming. Let me tell you when I knew it was coming. My mother died of ovarian cancer, right? And this is the type of cancer that hides in the body. So it's hard to detect.

And they did the cat's can and everything and they didn't see anything, right? And when she found out she was in the fourth stage. How old was she? She was 68. Oh, man. And let me tell you, man, this one I knew she was going to pass. She was in hospice. And she was laying in the bed.

and I'm sitting just like I am beside her. And she told me, we're sitting there talking. And I had some potato chips, some sour cream and onion. Free to Lay. Yeah. From Friedole? It was actually a free to lay. So she said, she said, let me have one of those potato chips.

And she ate one. And then she said, I talked to Jeannie. And I said, you did? Now, Jeannie was a best friend. Been dead for 20 years. Oh, shit. I say, what did y'all talk about? I'm looking at her and she said, well, she told me I can come up there with her and she's fine

where she's at. I said, what did you tell us? She said, I told her I think about it. And I say, well, if you decide to go there, I say, just let me know. She said, you'll be the first I let know. And how old are you at the time? 48. 48.

And about 1, 4 to 5 that morning she passed. Were you still there with her? No, no, I was gone. And the guy called me from hospice. And he said, I want to talk to you about your mother. Her health has changed drastically. I said, what's going on? And he wouldn't tell me.

He wouldn't tell. I kept asking. I said, what's going on? He said, just come in. He said, take your time. You know, get ready. Come in. Because she was like 40 minutes from my house.

And I said, well, just tell him what's going on. And then he said, he took a deep breath. He said, your mother passed about 143 this morning. And I say, well, thank you for letting me know. And I'm going to tell you, Ryan, I sit on this Ottoman. for like four hours before I realized I was sitting there. I was like, I was in a complete shock. It was 1.45 in the morning.

I think I got up like 6 o'clock. It's just sitting there. Didn't not realize what my mind was just like, I can't believe my mother's passed. And I went up there and saw her and she was good. And I know everybody in Atlanta, so, you know, I know all the funeral directors. And we'll be right up there to pick her up, you know,

just not a problem, you know. And they took care of her, you know. But that was my girl, man. And I didn't want to go to the funeral until my aunt said, you got to go. Oh, you didn't want to go? I didn't want to see her like that. Were they doing an open cast, like the viewing and all that? Yeah.

And when I had to view it first. So when they finished her, they say, she's finished. You want to see her. And this guy had asked me earlier, he said, you got a picture of your mother? I said, yeah. And this dude made her look just like this picture. I'm like, whoa. And she was smiling.

So she looked good. She had a smile on her face when I saw, I'm like, okay, I'm good. So I was good then. And then at the funeral, I couldn't do all the hollings. I couldn't because I took care of my mother thoroughly. I had no regrets, no, I should have did. Now, the only thing I wish I did, my mother wanted to go to New York. She knew where to New York, and I wish I had took her in New York.

She just wanted to go shopping. That's all she wanted to do in New York. But other than that, she gets to see you perform live. Yeah. And she had a late reaction laugh. Like, I tell a joke, she goes, all right, that's funny. I'm like, everybody's laughing at you. She just kind of looked. Yeah, that's funny, that's funny.

That's funny. That's terrifying for a comedian. Like, you're like not right away. Oh, yeah. But that was my heart, man. Man. Do you go visit the grave? Yeah.

And then, you know, I went to visit the grave. She had been, I didn't go for five. it's for real. I get out there and I see this young girl, she's like, she's like, hey, Bruce, Bruce. I'm like, hey, how you doing? It was Mother's Day. And this guy walks up to me and he said, hey, man, I know you out here, you know, spending time with your family and everything. He said, I just want to tell you, I'm proud of you and I love you. And he said, I'm Larry. And I looked at him. He said, Bruce Larry. And I kept looking at him. I can't recognize because I was so, because I put my mother in the Monson, so she was up high.

And he said, he said, Louise is right around. And Louise was a girl I used to go with. Larry took her from me. Oh, no. So he said, Louis, I said, Larry, I said, oh, I said, you took Louise from me. And he busts that land. He said, he said, I did. And they got three kids together.

He took her from me. No shit. Yeah, man. But he was cool. He said, I'm so proud of you, man. I love you. But he took her from me. He took Louise from me, man.

And I laugh about the day. At the graveyard. You know what I'm saying? That's crazy. Well, my mother, my mother always say, don't put me in the ground. And I'm going to be up high and I want to be on the end. So I had to put her high on the end of a mausoleum. That's what she wanted to be.

So that's what I did. And she said, don't have them having me looking crazy in the casket. So I gave her a little ring and another ring and a diamond bracelet watch. It was, you know, costumed her. And she was cool. She looked really good. What about your dad when he passed? Were you able to?

I didn't know. I didn't find out until they buried. Oh, really? How did you find that out? My aunt told him and said, you know, you're dad. Why y'all didn't tell me? You know, she said, well, I just didn't think I would tell you.

How did he pass? Cancer as well. And he told me that when I met him. I was going to say he said. Because I'd say this on this show all the time. A lot of people sitting at chair, they don't talk to their family or whatever. And I understand. However, the thing I say, myself as well, find out what the fuck they have.

That's right. Because their genes and genetics are in your fucking body. And if they got cancer, diabetes, or whatever. you better fucking find out. And I can remember he said, he said, they found cancer in my body. And I said, you're going to be right. He did like this.

He shook his head. So when you were talking to him, he already knew. Yeah, and he died like three years before mother. So, yeah, he did. He just said, I said, oh, you're going to be right. He said, he knew it. And he was a doctor. Yeah.

So he knows. Yeah, he knew. And my daughter checked me for everything. I hate going to the doctor, but they check you. Oh, my God. I got a female doctor. She bends me over every time I come in an office. You hear me?

We don't even go together. Look, we don't go together. We haven't went out on a date or nothing. And she bends me over this little twin-sized bed. I went to the doctor yesterday for a melanoma check, okay? I didn't know we're supposed to get one once a year or nothing. And my brother's brother-in-law is very sad and unfortunate, but he was, I think he was late 30s, early 40s. He just passed from melanoma.

I said, I said, how do he even? He said he was driving on the freeway. All of a sudden lost all motor control. Pulls over. Sits for about 10 minutes. I guess his body sort of reset. He thought, okay, I'm okay. Starts driving again almost immediately again.

Boom, pulls over this time. Can't do anything. Calls 911. They take them from the, basically the shoulder, the highway to the hospital. And they're like, sir, you have melanoma. It's in your brain and your kidneys. And then two months later, he was gone.

Jeez. And I said, let me go ahead and make a melanoma appointment. I went into that lady yesterday. And, you know, you got to get naked and shit. And I'm naked in this little, like, you know, paper towels over the front of me. And we start here, pop, pop, pop. And she looked at me. I mean, I said, what was that?

I said, I'll be damn if I need to be running out of this office, butt-ass naked. That's right fucking mouth. She's like, no, that was a machine next door. I was like, it didn't sound. She looked too for a second. Like, is that what I think it is? You know, because guns, people think they sound like the movies. They sound like fireworks.

Firecrackers. And then she says that we, humans, we get melanoma in our asshole. And I was like, what? She goes, even though she said melanomas 50-50 genetic and environmental, not just sun smoking, that kind of shit. And I said, I didn't know that. And she said, you know, parts of your body that have never hit the sun will still get melanoma. So she's like, I need you to roll over. And you kind of got to spread up.

and let me look. I was like, are we fucking for real right now? And she's like, I know you didn't think that was coming to that. I was like, I did not. But you know what? Go ahead. Look in there. She's like, you're good.

And I was like, great. Thank you very much. I had no idea. My doctor asked me, say, how many times do you go to the dinners? I said, twice. She said, you come to me twice. So I had to go twice a year. That's what I do.

I do twice a year. I'll pay for one full fit. I say it all the time, man. If I can go spend money on sushi dinners or my weed or whatever, I can go fucking see my doctor. Yeah. Like, you got to make a trade-off. I'm going to tell you what happened in one time. I don't let it go.

I had got it. Something happened, and I was, I caught a blood clock at my leg. Never experienced it before. And it was going up, and I couldn't hardly breathe on it. So my doctor says, two things are going to happen. You go into the doctor or you're going to the doctor? No, she's at hospital.

You're going to hospital. So when I went to her office, she had an ambulance to come get me, and I'm in the hospital snapping, you know. And the doctor, they put me in the cat scan. He said, it's right there. We see it. He said, we got it. You know, he said, good.

So when they put this, I don't know if you ever had this done before, but when they run that dye in your body, because when they give you IV, the guy said, look, Bruce. He says, when we do this, it's going to feel like you got this shit. It's okay. He said, you're not going to shit. He says, going to feel like he got the shit. That's okay. So I'm in the machine.

My head is sticking out. And I'm looking at the guy. And I say, hey, man, he said, well, I said, I'm going to splatter this table right now. He said, you know, I said, I said, I'm going to splatter. He said, I can't do the exam if you're making me laugh. He said, quit making me laugh. I said, I'm telling you, like that. And you got through with it and everything.

And then we get to the, they put me in the room and if they thought they came up and saw me and everything. Tell me he caught it and everything's good. Yeah. Everything's in great shape. but this, it was an African doctor, and he said, man, you're in great shape to be the size that you are, you know. And but when they saw the insurance, this was the funny part. It was a white doctor came in. He was very nice, very peaceful.

He said, look, you know, we want to watch you for about three more days. You know, like when they saw the insurance that I had, it was my wife had, she was worked for cocoa and she had 100% still left. and North and Southern Railroad 100%. You know they're going to build both companies, right? He would like to watch. He whispered, you're going to be fine. I said, no, y'all see this insurance. That's why you guys keeping me here.

And I was in that clowning with the people that cook the food. I said, who cook this food? I said, this is absolutely terrible. The worst. I was in Cedar Sinai for three weeks. The worst fucking food ever. And you do not. You do not get rest in hospital.

I was talking about it, my new special. They wake you up every two hours. Every three hours for vitals, every four for pain meds. They're coming in to take your breakfast, lunch, dinner, ordered, they're bringing that food in. They're cleaning up. They want to change the sheets. They want to clean the bathroom.

You don't ever get rest. And then when you do, here comes the surgeon or the doctor five in the fucking morning, kicking you, telling you all kinds of shit about these new pills. You're like, what? You're talking a different fucking language to me. You're doped up on morphine, the law, whatever it is. It's terrible. Stay to fuck out of the hospital.

I say it all the time. Do not go to the hospital. Do everything you can not to be in that hospital. Absolutely. Thank. I know we got to get you out of here. Okay, man. Before we do, last question for you,

advice you're giving the 16-year-old Bruce Bruce. Hey, man. No matter what you want to do, do it. If you fall, get back up. But don't take or steal anything from anybody. Just go forward with it. Sometimes when you're dealing with your, your life you have to have tunnel vision you got to see straight ahead and see what you want to do

and keep your eyes on your mark and keep going and that is great advice don't look left and right no blinders on straight ahead that's it absolutely great advice one more time promote everything you'd like please www bruce bruce dot com check me out send me what you like and your dislikes but check the netflix special out now it's on showing right now it's on showing right now You're going to love it. It's me. It's Bruce Bruce. I ain't playing.

There it is. Thank you, man. Great to have you on here. I appreciate it. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to you all next week.