The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - 389: Sydney Castillo on Losing His Brother, Mother & Facing Death | The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler #389

Episode Date: June 8, 2026

SPONSORS QUO -Make this the season where no opportunity — and no customer — slips away. Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to QUO.com/honeydew HIMS -Ready to reach your goals? Visit hims.com/honeydew to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you. ProtonVPN -Right now, Proton VPN is offering our listeners 70% off a two year plan when you go to ProtonVPN.com/HONEYDEW My HoneyDew this week is comedian Sydney Castillo! Sydney Highlights the Lowlights of losing his brother to a stroke and his mother to cancer just one year later. We discuss growing up with an older father and the perspective it gave him on life. Sydney also opens up about navigating grief, family conflict, and discovering that a cousin had been stealing money from his mother’s account as her memory began to fade. It’s a powerful conversation about loss, family, mortality, and learning how to cope with death. Check out Sydney on the road at a show near you! 🎟️See me live. All tickets at www.ryansickler.com/tour 🎤Check out my new standup special “Live & Alive” streaming on my YouTube now! http://youtu.be/PMGWVyM2NJo?si=SrhXjgzR1pe6CyYE 👉 Subscribe for more standup and new episodes of The HoneyDew, The Wayback, and more! http://youtube.com/@rsickler ✅ Subscribe to my Patreon “The HoneyDew with Y’all”! Get The HoneyDew audio and video a day early, ad-free, for just $5/month! Want more? Upgrade to the $8/month premium tier and get everything above plus The Wayback a day early, ad-free, censor-free, and exclusive bonus content you won’t find anywhere else! http://patreon.com/RyanSickler 📧What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] 👕Get Your Merch👕 http://www.bonfire.com/store/ryansickler/ 🎧 Listen to my Podcasts 🎧 The HoneyDew - http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-honeydew-with-ryan-sickler/id527446250 The Wayback - http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-wayback-with-ryan-sickler/id1721601479 Patreon - http://www.patreon.com/ryansickler 📣 Follow Me📣 ▪ Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/ryansickler/ ▪ TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/@ryan.sickler ▪ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/RyanSicklerOfficial 🕸️ryansickler.com/ 🍈thehoneydewpodcast.com/ 🦀Subscribe to The CrabFeast Podcast🦀 http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. I'll be there Friday, June 19th, and Saturday, June 20th, all tickets on my website at ryancicler.com. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpanst Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, Ryan Sickler.com and Ryan Sickler on all your social media. I want to start by saying thank you guys for supporting this.

show or for supporting anything I do. And if you've got to have more, go get to Patreon. It's five bucks a month and it is this show with y'all, the honeydew with you all. And I promise you, I've said it forever, you won't find crazier stories on the internet. All right? If you or someone you know that has a story that needs to be heard, submit it to Honeydew Podcast at gmail.com. If you sent it before, send it again, bump it to the top. We get a lot of them. We would love to do your story. All right? That's the business. As you know what we do here, we highlight the low lights. I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers.

I am very excited to have this guest with us. First time on the honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, Sydney Castillo. Hey. I appreciate you having me, man. Thank you for being here. You guys it up, man. Thank you very, very much.

Before we get into what we're going to talk about, right there, promote everything and anything you like. Let's get it. Hey, listen, I'm all things. Sydney is funny. S-Y-D-N-E-Y-Y-I-E-Y is funny. Go to cidney's funny. dot l.

For all by tickets and show dates. I am in Baltimore. Where? Where? From? Magubis.

I'm in Magubis April 5th. Okay. I'm in New York at the city winery May 5th. I am in

Chicago at Zanis March 22nd and I do a monthly at the laugh factory now on Mondays it'll be but find tickets

all the city is funny. LOW along with my podcast and my special. My cup is full. All that is on city is funny.

0. We're happy to be here, man. Let's talk. Let's talk some trauma. Yeah, I'm glad that you get right up our alley. So let's start at the beginning. Where are you from? Tell me about mom, dad, siblings. What's the origin story? I'm originally born in Gardena, California. Okay, you're from out here. Yeah, originally. Then we moved to Fort Worth, Texas when I was

like eight. So I was raised in Fort Worth, Texas. My mom and dad, my mom is 20 years younger than my dad. I grew up with older brother, seven years older than me. How old were they when they met? Oh, man. So my dad was probably 50. My mom had to be 30. And some of the, Did she has no kids at that point? You're all. Yeah, so my brother, she had my brother already before she met him. And dad had no kids at the time either? Yes, dad was 50, you know?

So he had a whole grown kids. So he had a whole family. So she had two kids. Yeah, she had two kids because she met me and my brother and then met him, boom. And so I only knew an old dad. My dad retired. I remember my dad going to work literally like maybe twice in my life. And then he retired.

He worked at Carswell Air Force Base and then he came home one day. And then the next day to go to work, I was like, you know, Never again. He was like, I've been working this up in 15. My dad was born 1932. Oh, old dude from Muskogee, you know what I mean? 32. Oh, dude, brother.

So, like, that perspective then going to Texas, you know, that's just learning about, it's a different life in Texas versus from California. Let me ask, is that your biological dad? No, no, he's got to raise my raised. I don't have a relationship with my, my biological dad. That's how I get my last name. That's what people don't know. So my name is Cindy Castillo.

That's my biological dad. And what is Castillo? Is that Spanish? That's like a Puerto Rican. So I get it from him, but everybody, my family is Smith. So it's just me of Smith. You're the only Castillo? I'm the only Castillo.

So like my whole life. And your mom let it stay, though. Well, yeah, because my dad who raised me, I guess technically when you get old, I guess he would have to adopt me to get the name or whatnot, what not. He's 50 are. Yeah. Listen, he's like, you with me. You know, old man, like, you're with me.

You know, I ain't put another one side of the shit. That's the only dude I've never known. Like, he's like, you're my dad, don't. Oh, old his head. Like, you're my dad, you know. And no interaction with all the, you know, Facebooks and everything out there now. You haven't nothing with your biological dad?

But I was like, you know, a funny story, dark. When I was like 26, I just moved here and I was like 22. So around 24, 24, 25, this young lady reached out to my Dallas agent and was like, is somebody here saying she's your long-law sister? I was like, man, shut the hell up. Right. And then they called back. It's like, no, and she knew specific things about me.

So my biological dad had a daughter, right? She found me on the internet type shit. We met up. And then she told me like about the guy, you know, my biological. Dad was like, okay, Craig, I met her. And then that kind of fizzled out, you know what I mean, that relationship, but that's the only kind of content. I met him one time when I was an adult.

I asked my dad, I said, hey, you mind if I meet buddy? And he was like, if that's what you're doing. His name's buddy. Yeah, like, like, how fucking that you're real dad's name is buddy. That's about all he is. You want to mind you might be buddy. That's what you know. Because he doesn't deserve it.

He raised me. Like, I was like, if it make you man anyway, it's a no. Like, this is my. Dad, it's my dog, it's my dad. How old's your dad when you're meeting them? You're how old? Oh, grown, so I'm 26, so my dad's, shit, in the 60s. Forty-six.

Okay. He had to die in 78, so he had to be like 60s something, 65 probably. And where do you see him? I meet him at a restaurant in like a Mexican restaurant in like Malibu actually. One of them little restaurants over there, like, you know what I mean? And he, uh, short, like five or eight, five. He lived out here that. Yeah, he's seen me on a show.

I did like a BT show in 2007. And, you know, name. came up in a credit, he was like, and somebody, like, he's like, that's my boy type shit. And so then he told her his daughter because I think he was sick. He said, anything happened to me, you have a brother. And then, like, you know, found me. But, you know, I don't have the story of a dude not raised by dad.

So it's not like, I've been looking for you. Like I told him. It's like, bro, I get your feelings. But was he a dad to your sister present? They had a relationship type shit. But, like, you know, the stories, I had horrid stories about him. So it's like, you know, I didn't really need him. I mean, and again, like, I had a dad the whole way through.

So it was just like, you know, then he ended up passing. Like my biological dad ended up passing, I think, in 2001, 18, 19 through the pandemic. But it wasn't like it rocked me. You know what I mean? We didn't have a good relationship. You know what I mean? He said some slick shit probably before he passed,

but it's just like, you know, I was grown and I had a dad. So I never had that like, I'm gonna show you the mentality. I was like, who fuck? Who I don't even know who to fuck you? I don't know who I'm gonna show. Yeah. I was gonna take my last name away at like 21 and Megan Smith. Just like that's, you know, and you know, then my friends was like,

Like, man, you know him by it now. I was like, Emma, who know me? Shut up. They open mics? All right, so let's go back now. So you guys go from Gardina to Texas. Gardena, Texas. Brother seven years old.

Is that for work or something? It was just where life was better for them. Like, we goes in Gardena. It was like, you know, when you're young, you don't know no better. It was cool. We heard some shit at nights, but we left. I know housing was cheaper to live in Texas.

So my dad retired, we go to Texas. My brother, two years after that, he'd go to college. So then I'm just in the house. My mom and dad, my mom working, dad retired. But being raised by an old man from the south, my dad from Escoggi, Oklahoma. Like the first time I learned about racism was in Texas. You know what I mean? The first time I got called, like, all that stuff in Texas.

And it's like a perspective from someone born in 1932. You know what I mean? I say it's in my stand-up, but Rick Ryan, student. Ryan, it's, it's, listen, in Texas, you learn black history. You learn about Donald King. I'm not lying to you. I know it's not. I come home.

He didn't met these people in real life, real time. Like Martin Luther King's, oh, yeah, yeah. I have Bruce Bruce sitting right there, and he's like, our family, this is wild. Do you know this? Their family had to get out of this. They couldn't afford this house anymore. They were doing everything they could. I think it was like ants and everybody trying to pull together.

And the owner was like, look, I want you all to keep the house. But I got a buyer. You got to go. And the buyer was Martin Luther King Jr. I apologize. He put his out of him. And what did you say? He got a dream.

but your ass ain't part of it. You gotta get to. He woke up right before he saw your face. I need you get that. But then you hear that, you're like, yeah, we're not that far removed from people that knew these people. They're not these mystic characters

and books or lectures. And everything you read about, he experienced the talk about him. Like, you went through segregation? He was like, yeah. You had to go to a separate water fountain? Yeah. He was in the military.

Yeah. Like all of them stories. That went in the military as well? No, he was, I was saying, his whole life. Like he was in a Korean, he was in a Korean war. Yeah, I mean, that's the war.

when people find you got an old daddy. Right? Because everybody growing up was in what? Their daddy was in like with Nam or something. Like, Korean was before Nam, right? And so you say Korean, everybody's like, oh, shit. Like, how's your daddy? I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1932. But listen, you raised differently with an old day. Like, you raised on, like, principle. Like, you know, I mean, like. But what's he teaching you? What's he teaching when you're first coming across it? Because, again, this is not. Oh, about racism or just?

Yeah. I mean, it's not just the history book. Like, this man's like, let me, no. Oh, he used to tell us how it was. Like, you know, just growing up in the South of Muskogee and, like, different things he experienced. He's doing Jim Crow laws and can't eat at the counter or blacks aren't even welcoming stuff. I remember Obama won. You know what I mean?

I was just like, yo, did you ever think you would see a black president? And he just looked. He said, I'm going to be honest with you. He said, I thought it could happen, but not in my lifetime. And he was just happy that he saw a black man, like as a president. I mean, that is a powerful perspective. From an older person. Yeah.

That went from predated. those 50s and shit too, by the way. You know what I mean? That's a wild turn of events. That's a hell of a chunk of time to be alive and experience all that. But like I feel like being raised with an old dad, it's like he teaches just a lot about perspective. Like, you know what I mean?

Oh, you're not going to play basketball with me. We play catch twice probably. You know what I mean? He old. But like just the knowledge he tried to pour into you. You know what I mean? Even like in this entertainment business, he was like, he was pissed at first because he feel like I didn't have a plan. Then I told him the plan. He's like, okay, cool.

But if he thought I was just moving out to LA, he was like, what the hell are you doing? He was just flondering. He was a lot. He was a fucking floundering with you. He was a lot. He's just fucking floundering with your life. I was like, I'm not flondering. I'm a, I'm a really, I'm going to do this. I'll go out there. I'm going to take acting classes. It's going to be like college. I'm going to take acting classes for like six months. Then I'm going to get it. It's going to work. He was like, then like, I got on TV in like 2008. And he was like, still like, and then like a guy, a couple times. It was like, Don't quit that job.

I was like, I'm going to quit waiting tables now. They were like, but like they support as long as I had the plan, which was cool. And you're showing results. Yeah, my whole thing. That's the other thing. You're not fucking around. You're not like, well, that didn't go. So I need another thow.

You know, you're showing results. And listen, you ready? You got an old daddy. In the back of you, you're like, I don't know how much time I got with him. So I got to make this happen at least a little bit to so he could see something. I say this. I got to say this to you. I'm going to give props to him too because this is a man to pre-day.

dates World War II. Yeah. Okay. And this motherfucker's see World War II, Vietnam, Kriolum. And then it's generations of us men are like, I want to go be a clown. And they're like, what the fuck are you talking about? Ryan, you're ready to do. You know what I mean?

Like, I'm dropping bombs. You want to go act. What are you talking about? Like, for them to be able to be supportive. Because I could totally get in their mindset like, there ain't no fucking way. I'm supporting that. Like, for them to be able to let go of that a little bit and be like, what? Everybody go to college.

They go to college. They get a job. My brother go to college. My dad, my mom, smart. Or military. Boom, one. And so, like, I wouldn't doing that. And so I remember when I decided I wouldn't go into junior college no more.

I was going to night school. And I was like, I'm going to move. So I quit. And I told my mama. I said, I'm going to TCC. She was like, you tell your daddy? And I was like, mm, she said, don't tell you daddy. I was like, all right.

Then it was like a setup just like this. She rolling her hair. hair. She's right there. She rolling her hair. It's like a mirror right here. You know, black one when they wore their hair and that boom on mirror. My dad making a drink, Bombay Sapphire. He making his drink with grape fruit juice. That's his drink. Sterning. Is that the blue one? The Bombay. Yes. See what I'm talking about? And I'm sitting here. He said, he's a stirring. He said, Sidney, this is the second week. You ain't been in a class. Why is that? My mama looking at me like what we talked about. I said, O'Day, I decided not to go to school. I'm quit. I'm going to

to move to L.A. And my mama said, my dad said, my dad said, did you talk to anybody about this? My mama, no, he did not. You ain't. No, he did not. And she was looking at me like, you know, say nothing, don't say nothing. But then look, once I moved and I sold them the plan like that,

but she was pissed. She was like, did not tell you nothing to say, sure. Then he was like, you what? And then, you know, he turned the corner quickly, but as long as I had the plan, you know what I mean? So it's like, and then he told me the biggest thing. He was like, you know, he was like, look, you're not defined by your failures.

You define by how you come out your failure. And so, like, he also, like, always, no matter in this business, whatever, like his knowledge that, you know, I was raised, it was just, it was cool. It's, oh, man, Perry Mason, Mattlock, what's up? We're watching it. Yeah. And for a guy from that generation, was he a loving dude?

Was he an I love you guy or? No. Listen, not like he loved me. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Ryan, he cursed a lot. Like, he said one time, he said, he said once out. I told my mom, I'm like 12. He woke me up at 7 in the morning because you couldn't sleep past eight hours in his house.

That military bullshit. I know these motherfuckers like to get up, bro. Could he make a killer breakfast? Yeah. Dude, every military dad I ever met in my life. If your dad, when I was in middle school or high school and they're like, you want to sleep over? I'm like, was your dad in the military? Yes, he made good breakfast.

They all do. Absolutely. He said, Rev. He said, that's how you wake you up. Rev. What the fuck does that mean? It means all hands on deck. Like, we're not on the shit, bro.

We get up. I remember one time he was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, he said, hey, hey. So I heard you told your mama you don't like when I cuss at you. And I was like, he was like, yeah, you think you could tell on me. He said, he was like, I've been cousins this. I'm been 13. You think you're going to stop me.

I was like, damn. But then it was like, hate at that part. And then when I got to be like 25, it was like a breakthrough. I feel like some men going with their fathers was like, I get why you were so like that with me because you didn't want me to get over here. And then he eased up at like 25, 26. Super easy, super proud, super, but he didn't have to be that way no more because now I didn't find my way.

But growing up Arguments in the house Yeah, oh man But he made you think like I'm not gonna fight you But I, you know what I mean? I will take care of you Yeah

You know what I mean? It's like a military dude Oh, you don't fuck with those old military guys He showed you He showed you Yeah I used to say I went to karate He said for what

He said for what He said I got something for all that He told me he said You know I got something for all that He said let me show you And then he opened his Cadillac And in the back I never knew what it was

It was heavy He said no ever touch that Boom he showed me He's like that for all that that. Damn, okay. So tell me about mom then. Tell me about mom. Mom from Gary, Indiana. Like Jackson 5, all that. Like went to school with like some of them in a second grade type energy, moves to L.A. You know what I mean? Mom is very, mom's funny in her own way, but like very studious, very like work hard. You go to school. You make good grades. You make good grades.

And I was just, I was just, I didn't make bad grades. My mindset was. just crazy. Like my brother went to college. We weren't like rich, but we were in a suburb. We were like middle class, right? And they just made it look good. So Ryan, I thought you just go to high school and I just pick my college and they just take care of it. And my mom used to, I don't know why. And my mom was like, did you, are you applying for colleges? And I was like, I didn't really decided. And she was like, you started applying for colleges. And I was like, all right, well, y'all going to get it. And when I tell you her, what? She was like, I need you to start applying. And I didn't really take advantage of that.

I ended up just playing basketball, just jukego cool. But I decided early, like in school I wanted to go to L.A. Her thing was just go hard. Like if I played basketball, her brother played in Arizona, got drafted, but didn't play overseas. Oh, yeah? She knows basketball. She was like, just go hard. So even basketball, it was like, I come home.

Like it's true story, she was like, you're playing like shit. I take off work to come watch you play like this. She'll tell you that? Yeah. I remember the day she said she said she's I sat down I was like mad about the performance she said but don't be shaking all your head you all week in practice you must have been playing bad that ain't new she said you didn't just do that tonight that's fucking she said you want to warm-ups dunking for what you ain't never dunked in the game you ain't never dunking the game but in the warm-up you you you dunking you're shitting on you next game I had 16 rebounds. I swear to God, we play, I right, Ryan six. I'm looking for my mom every rebounds. Looking around. You know, you smack the ball, like, kicking it out, I don't even want to shut. Oh, yeah. Made you be like. Hilarious. You know what I mean? Worked hard, but she was like, too,

she was like, she was just, they both like just come from an era of you go to school, you get a degree, you have your, your, you know, your plan B is. always your degree, you could do whatever. Buy your house. That's your investment for the future. Listen, so like even in standard, when I, I started cool. I got on TV in 2007. I was still working at BJs. And she was like, you need a restaurant.

That's right. And she was like, you don't quit that job. So I got my first writing job in 2008. I was like, my mom, I'm fin of quit. She was like, how long is the writing job? I was like probably like three months. Then after that go back. And I was like, well, I'm going to find something else.

2011, they got comfortable. It was like, oh, he can make a living doing this. But still, like, it wasn't that they were hating on me. as long as just a nervous parent. I'm in LA, you're day out there. But they got to see me live my dream in real time. Did they ever get to see you perform? Yes.

They did. My dad gives me the best advice. I remember the Arlington Improv and I headlined there for the first weekend. And I was nervous. You know, Arlington Improv was like the bar just like a tunnel bull on the stage. My dad was coming in with a drink Bombay Sapphire, you know, at the bar. Oh man. So like, oh man, meaning like button down, but a short sleeve with a jacket, pin, pin go right here, right?

But the button. glasses great salt some pepper hair i was uh i said dad i'm nervous he always giggle what you're nervous for i was like he said this is what you do you're nervous about something you don't do this is what you do don't be nervous just go have fun and like walked off i was like damn that little nugget i take with me that is great advice my mom loves my stand-up but at first she was more offended because you take real stories and put them on stage so they got married divorce start dating again i went to the stage

wait your dad mom they yes they as an adult so i was together? I'm in L.A. They going through it. I'm like 27. I'm like, worked it out. Right? Me and my brother. Then they move out. My mama move out. I'm, I do not want to do this. My dad, I don't know why

she's tripping. Right. Oh, man. I mean, come on. Listen, they get back together. Waste everybody time and money. How long was the maybe months, maybe months. Not even a year to. Our lease wasn't even, we didn't complete the lease. New friends, new washer and drive.

She called him one time and said, You want to go to the movies, Ted? He cutting the grass. He cut the grass run. He had gloves on. He said, he answered. Yes. Let the lawnmower, put the gloves pocket.

Went to her apartment with grass. You ready, Maryland? Like, he just walked off the job. Right to the car. Go get your woman, bro. You know, they get back together. Yeah. I tell the joke.

First of all, it ain't nobody business. This is my mother at first. Ain't nobody business. They do come. My dad and everybody was like that too. You don't tell the family business. It was a generation of people where you shut the fuck up about your problems. You could talk about you.

Yep. Whatever. When I said, ooh, I don't know where they met. I said, my mama. 50, my daddy said, you don't know where they mail on my dad met. It was an elementary school with camps. Get in the car. Everybody laughed.

My mama, when you're done. When you're done. Tell you jokes. About the little where, like I'm some. Let me tell you something. That was her thing. Let me tell you something. So very serious family.

My brother, day one fan. You doing what? I'm for the move to LA. Bet. I'm bet. What do you need? And where's he going to college? Prayer View.

He went to prayer at university. He graduated. Then he worked for like Affleck and then he worked for the railroad. Okay. Like I think a conductor and he was like doing it. You know, they have unions at the railroad. He was like a reunion rep where he represented the other people. But like super, my biggest fan.

Anytime I'm on TV, he's telling everybody, you watch my brother watch my brother we go somewhere somebody recognized me like he like big six five three 10 big big brother like in all essence of the word of a big brother like him you know i mean my first rogue gig was in patterson louisiana he comes with me right and at the time like i didn't know this about him but we're in some we're in some hood area right the show's in like a hood area it's not a lot people to show up but the after party they bring in us to is some hood house that's a hood situation You can just feel it. But my brother there, right?

And he followed me the whole round. Like, you know what I mean? We go boom, boom. I'm in my 20s. It's like me, Deshaun Ross. I think Vanessa Radick, another comedian. And we ended up leaving. We get back to the hotel.

And my brother takes out this big old gun and puts it on the dresser. And I said, I even know, listen, I said, you had that the whole time? He said, you're my brother. Nothing happened to my brother. And I, listen, like a kid. I was just so, I was like, thank you, you know what I mean?

But then he would like have a conversation, like about guns, like all, about, protection of guns or whatever, but just like my brother dog, like that, yeah, that was my dog. When it comes to what I wear, I don't think of myself as a fashion forward kind of guy. For me, it's all about finding pieces that are cool, comfortable, and able to be worn in a variety of different settings. Ever since finding Quince, I've been able to check all my boxes while looking sharper than ever. I find myself wasting less time trying to put an outfit together, spending more time doing what I enjoy while looking good and feeling great about it.

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Everybody. Everybody gone. You know what I mean? Dad, of course, right? I mean, if he's still here, we were, yeah. That seemed like eventually that's expected. This is different energy. This podcast is way different.

Like, I think God don't like my daddy, right? He's 107. He's died three times. He keeps setting his ass back. No, my dad heard my brother. You always? My dad broke my heart. It's first time my heart ever been broken.

My brother rocked me. Yeah, my brother rocked me like emotionally. He was like, damn. I remember he got. How was he? 42 when he passed. My dad's age when he passed. That's young.

What happened? He had a stroke in 2010 in front of me. Like, we was like. You were with him? Yeah, we was at the house in Houston. He lived in Houston. And we used to arguing with some brother shit. Like, whatever.

Like, oh, we always started like, let's fight. I know I'm on those. But I'm not going to let you. Is he older? Absolutely. Seven years older. Oh, seven. Okay.

Why do? And then I went in the bathroom and like he was like, you know, shaking. I was like, yo, my dad being old, ready? Everybody panicking. I don't know what's going on with my brother. I'm like holding his hand, like squeeze my hand if you can hear me type shit. My dad walk in the bathroom. He's like, he's having a stroke.

That's it. That's it. That's all he needed. Call the ambulance. We got like an hour. We got four hours. We got to give him someone four hours. Like calm is cool, boom, stroke.

So then the effects of the stroke is you have to relearn how to like words, some words again, his speech was. And that was the first, was that the first incident for him? Yeah, yeah, yeah, boom. So then recover from nowhere to. Yeah, well, he didn't take his shit. He had high blood pressure medicine. He wouldn't take his medicine all the time.

So, boom, boom. So then that happens, boom. And now it's like, he's still big brother. I always tell him, but now I'm way more protective over him. You know what I mean? He gets in a gym, starts losing weight. Now his speech comes back. He could drive.

He's working against far as like, he's like an umpire now. He's doing stuff. He's back at my mom's house. And then I'm on the road with Marlin. And then I'm on a road with, Marlin. Oh, he had to have a defibrillator put it in, right? Something for his heart.

I remember that, boom, boom. So, to my knowledge, he was cool. He just had some ailments. So I'm in New York with Marlin. We're doing the club that shut down now in the city. Carolines. Boom, boom. And then I come home from Carolines,

and I get like a message on my Facebook like, oh, my God, what happened to Derek? I was like, what? I called my mother. I'm like, yo, I get a message about what happened to Derek? You know, they're so secretive. Who told you? It's me, Mama.

What happened to my brother? And she was like, Derek had a heart attack, but he's fine. He's going to make it. He's here. So let me talk to my brother. So this on a Monday. I was like, yo, he's like, hey. I said, boy, what are you doing?

He's like, I don't know. They got me trapped. You know, it's a joke. I said, okay, look, I could be home in the morning. All right? I'm going to book my flight. I'm going to be home in the morning. I got to do something like for work.

I'll be home right in the morning. He said, okay, cool. I'm a beer. I said, I love you. He said, boy, shut up, say it back. He said, I love you. Man, hang out, boom. Monday, cold by, Tuesday morning.

My mama called me like 5 a.m. this time he passed. I was like, you know, that's, that was like, ah. Yeah, that sucked. Didn't come home, you know, do all the whole thing, boom, boom. Didn't really be honest with you. It was like, that sucked, but then my mom got sick a year later. God. And that's, yeah, it's like, he died 2017.

Can I ask you about that for a second? Yeah. I don't know. I believe in a lot of different shit. but a woman having to bury her son, a mother having to bury her son, it just can't do positive things to the nervous system and emotionally. And I mean, I've had a, my guy that's considered my brother, his mom, his sister died, and I watched. And she had to stay strong, you know, because she's got another kid like you.

I'd say in the funeral, I said. I can't think that that didn't contribute to the demise of somebody. I'd say this at a funeral. I said, man. you know, my brother meant a lot to me. I was like, for it, but any prayer you have for me to give it to my mom right now, I was like, cause no parents should bury their children.

You know what I mean? So like that, it's like you, it is like you ready. We would just say we're a team now. It's me and my mom and then we're a team. It's me and you. Oh yeah, we were already close, but now it's like we're a team. It's me or you, like, you know, we're a team.

So it just became that and then like, you know, deal with my brother sucked. You know, then my brother sucked And it was like, my mom got sick a year later. And from what? What happened to her? So I'm writing on Marlin, right? I'm writing on Marlon.

And she comes down to on set. Like she sees a lot of taping, super great artists. She leaves, goes back, we rap. I'm on the phone with her. She's like, I have cancer. I'm like, what? And she was like, I didn't want to tell you. I had a hysterectomy when I got back from seeing you.

And so, you know, that's it. That's what it is. And I was like, okay. So then it's like, not to be funny. I love my brother. Got to put those emotions over here. Mama needs you. Yeah.

So you go home and you go through the chemo. Right? And look, I see all the TikTok videos and people be like, shaving their head with their mama. My shit been gone. I can't do it. I couldn't do the moment. Like, everybody won't.

Like, you sit behind your makeup viral. Your mama crying. You crying. Ryan, my shit left me at 24. You know what I mean? Out of here. You ain't fake it. No.

So you go and you sit with her through the chemo. Boom, boom, boom. She beat it. Or boom. So then, okay, cool. What kind of cancer did they say? Something in here, I forget. I forget the type.

Then she beat it. Then 2019 came back. We had to be radiation. That's when we thought she was going to pass. She said, baby, you know, take this, the house, that all this jazz. And then she beat it again. Like, boom. So now it's like, boom.

You know what I mean? Now her memory is like going, like dementia-like symptoms. What they're saying? We found she had plaque around her brain. And so they can do... What's it called plaque around? It's called... Oh, is that right?

Yeah. And so they can't do surgery because it's too much and it'll kill her to shut her down. Oh, shit. So now we'd have to take medicine to black blood thinners to try to help her with memory issues. But to her, it's not like, Ryan, I don't know who you are. It'd just be like talking how you doing to da da da and she might repeat herself. Cool, cool, cool, and then she might repeat herself.

All right. Now that became nerve wracking because at first you like, nobody talks about the adjustment of you, like, okay, you could do it. Like, you know, like, hey, you repeated yourself. And then they don't know. And then for you, you have to sit and like, oh, this is the new reality. Right. And is she or people like that, are they allowed to drive?

Are she off the roads? This is when, like, it's just me and her and being a son, even though you out here living your dream, when we go back to her mom. When I first noticed it, somebody was going to email from her school when she was about to retire. It was like, hey, just so you know, she repeats herself. And it's just concerning. And that's the first time I heard about it.

Okay, cool. Then we were driving. She was driving in the car. and she was like, now where am I going? And I've already dealt with this with my dad and anybody watching. When you got older people, when they start forgetting things, they get frustrated.

That's their first sign that they're really forgetting. They get frustrated because they don't want to accept or you to feel like they, just tell me where I'm going again. And I was like, oh, yeah, this is your last time I'm driving, nigga. Excuse me, this is, you're sorry. It's just your last time. Merlin, you can go wherever you want to go.

You can go wherever you want to go. You can go to six flags. We can go where you want to go. Drive, baby. Hit six. one time. Go fast you can. Because I swear to God

when we park this bitch. Yeah, you better enjoy it now. You better enjoy it. But they'll have like a spare key hidden and shit though too. That was a transition for her. Like I can't drive no more. Then you become a parent.

You got to convince them this is the best decision for her. You don't need a car no more. Now you're in this place that has everything you need. You don't need a car. And is at home or is she in a facility or you got her? Moved her from the house.

Now she lives. She was living in like a facility for like 75. and older. Right? Well, it says 55 and older, but it's really like 90 and over. Well, they call them like a good senior community. Yes, but they got like a movie theater.

They got all these activities. So she's busy. Go downstairs. You know, I need Nichols. For what? They're playing cards. Y'all gambling? Well, no, it's all right.

All right, cool. You know what I mean? Now she has a routine. Yeah, they have a routine. You know what I mean? And now I'm coming home and I'm noticing like memory stuff. You know what I mean? And I talk about this in my special.

At the time, my mom, memory issues were first happening. And, you know, I had family like a cousin and a brother, excuse me, cousin and her dad. Like, we're helping to look after my mom while I was in New York. We have a bunch of money in the savings, like $60 in the savings. And $60,000 in the savings. And then a cut. You know what it was?

I was like, that was kind of just, you know, so you need to have to do that. You know, just in case he has a cut. You know what I mean? Let's be professional. You've been doing it's a long time. He might do a cut. Come home. It's $3 in their account.

You know, they ciphered. My cousin stole all the money on my mom's account. And I thought she was supposed to be looking after her. And my mom came and go to the bank anymore. She can't do any of that. So it's like, I had the card. I don't even look at the account because there's no need. She found, made up another.

She scammed away. Now she's paying restitution. But at the time, it's like. They called her? She admitted it to it. Oh, she did. Yeah. And it just went to court.

You say she's paying. So who's she paying you? Now she has to pay me. Monthly? Yeah. Which is always like a. How do you feel about that? You know, I'm in a much better place than I was before.

And I'll say that. that nothing feels like equal to, because you took advantage of my mother. And my mother helped raise her. At her lowest. At her lowest. At her lowest. At her most vulnerable when she can't even defend herself.

And as her as her as a kid, my little cousin was kidnapped as a kid from, yeah, my uncle was played overseas and the woman he made the baby with. Over here, when she got mad, she took her to New Zealand, like left a note. My mom went with agents to go get my little cousin, bring her back to the stage. She was helped raising my mama house.

So when she did, that it's like all these thoughts or whatever now it's like restitution payments and it's like it'll never justify what you did because she's not going to go to jail she has like three years to pay the money right she's been laid on a couple payments right there yeah been laid on a couple payments yeah yeah so it's never like a like a like a like a like a like you feel like oh i won you know what mean it's like you you're playing with me you know what you ever try to tell yourself this is like a monthly hello from my mom absolutely you know what i mean it's a monthly reminder from my mom Go get that money.

It's a mother money. You fucking play with me, little niggins. Excuse me. But how long does she have to legally pay this back? I think three years. Yeah, three years. And then after that, it's not even a, you don't even go to jail. It's like a fine.

That's the other thing. That is the person who got the money. I'm going to pay it back. It probably doesn't fuck her credit up. Nothing. Just got to pay it back. Yeah. Yeah, just on her record.

And how do you find out? Just because you go look at the account and that money's gone. Oh, yeah. When I came home from New York, I was right on a show in New York, come home. Boom, boom, bum, we're gonna go, I'm gonna put some more money in your savings and we're gonna go eat.

No, okay, cool. I go on, she's like, oh, what's the balance now? It's like, oh, it's no way. It should be, it's like, no, sir, it was $3 and said. What? My mom didn't know anything that I called my uncle. I talked about all this in my special. I was calling my uncle.

I said, hey, did you open my mama account under your name? And he was like, oh yeah, I opened a new account of my name. Okay, why didn't you call me first? He's like, oh, you know, I'm her brother. something her son you go through me you move in money he was like oh well i just so she could do okay well the money that was in here is over here no it's not i said you didn't move no money no it's about sixty thousand dollars missing ryan i swear to god he said i don't i don't know nothing about that

and like hung up so that's what we wore that situation listen that's what always shakes out the fucking dirt and families as soon as a matriarch or a patriarch dies you quickly find out who to fucking scumbags and the leeches and the fucking wolves are very quickly right they come right away before your mom's even gone they're all right man biting on and my mom's in the memory state so sometimes she forget like what what happened and they get the repeat and tell us like oh then she'd like you could even lie to a person like that that's not what happened man they'd be like well i don't know you're man so that man and no print no time served no time served just admitted it all that jazz going court all that jazz now it's like

now it's just like restitution payments. You know what's funny? I know God be like, God put like people around me, like angels, whatever. Because you could tell like when I had to go to the police station, I'm shaking my leg talking. When I had to go to the police station, I remember the police officer's dude, white dude, he was like,

I was telling him what happened. I had the bank statements highlighted the money she was taking out like $3,000 one day, $3,000 another day. I flew her to New York. And when she was visiting me in New York, she was robbing me blind. I didn't even know it. Damn.

Like she had took out thousands and thousands. And as I was telling the police officer this, He said, I need you to let us handle this. I said, yeah, yeah, we're gonna work together at the time. He said, I need you to let us handle it. I said, yeah, I got you. He said, my mama was sitting over there. He said, sir, he cut his camera on.

I can see how angry you are. And that's your mother over there. I can, I need you to let us handle it. And I said, you're going to handle it. And like, a damn near in tears, like, you're going to handle it. And he was like, we're going to handle it. I said, okay. And he was like, so we're going to handle it that they're like real cool dude.

So we'll put her on payment. plans. Bo, boom. Like, you know what I'm going to handle it. Like, all I bet. Then, you know, she got picked up and we had to go through the whole legal process or whatnot. But at the time, you just like, mm.

But then again, your emotions and anger got to put side here too because you still got to take care of your mama and she's in the state. So you still got to take care of her. And if anything, I can't do anything that would stop me from taking care of her. You know what I mean? So then you just write jokes, you know? You got to. You got to.

I'm just also thinking, too, like, of that foursome you've been talking about. You're the last one. Yeah. You've been at all the funerals. Oh, yeah. Your father was at none of the funerals. Yeah. Your mom and you were at two.

Mm-hmm. You are all three. Yeah. And no one's going to be at yours. Yeah, we burn them all up. You know, we cremated them. That's what I say. We burn them all up.

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But what do you think was more difficult for you, your brother or your mom? I know there are apples and oranges, but there's, you know, the youth of your brother and the, you know. Mother hands down. Yeah. My dad broke my heart. And my dad dying, it's going to sound crazy, but I say this a lot. My dad changed me as a man. That's like who I was and how I treated women.

Ready? Because I never had my heart broke, right? I was like, you know, winning, you know, type of shit. And then like, when I cried that heart and I broke my heart and I seen a woman cry with me like that, it really moved out. I never want to make somebody feel like this. And I know it sounds like crazy. Like that talk. Yeah.

And just like it broke my heart like dang. Now my brother, I was just like my best fear and gone. But I like, and I know he was fighting. He was like fighting like damn. He had the stroke. He lost his speech a little bit like. But he's fighting. He did.

Two kids. You have nieces? Two nieces. Are you close with them? One of them close to one of them. We build him a relationship. All right. Okay.

That rocked me. It's like my brother. You asked me, it's your brother. Then my mom, like my mom died in July last year. So my mom just rocked me where it's, you know, you know, it's just undescribable, really. But, you know, that's the hardest one. Because it's like, you know what it is? Like you said, you feel like your covering is gone.

You know what I mean? Like you have no one to hear your side that like just, I know, or just like just look it's the last person that will ever love me without any question no doubt unconditioned that's the last person they're all gone they're all right so that part is difficult but through the process stand up is like been my therapy like i had a podcast i was doing very well called my cup is full led up to and my last one was like when she passed i's you know and then after that i just kind of stopped but stand up i didn't stop because stand up is like therapeutic so it's like i found ways to make all this funny, right? Even as I go through it, I found ways to make it funny

and that's like my healing right now, right? And I'll get back to the podcast, but I needed to live a little and grieve and kind of go through to some emotions because it's difficult. The mom one is hard. The mom one is very, very difficult. The other thing, too, that adds a layer, because we had the same thing happen. Us. My grandmother died, my dad died, and here come to vultures. And you're, you're trying to process. I just lost this, as you said, the one person

that truly fucking love me. And I can't even process that because you fucking vultures are coming in and stealing and doing all this shit. So now I'm over here fucking angry and thinking about that and I don't even get to honor

this lady that did all this shit for me until much later and you don't even get to really do it until that fucking money is paid off. Yeah, that's when it's like, yeah. So it's like,

I'm learning though like it's okay. Like especially my mom. Like this would have been five or six months. I was in a relationship. We stopped dating. And it was needed to happen. It's hard to,

it's hard to grieve and be there for a motherfucker. Because here's the real shit in the world. Like I said, someone else is like, I'm a caring person. But when your mama die, I don't care what you're going through about your job.

Not to even be funny or not to be. All those things, negative. It's just my capacity right now is so like, people don't understand, like, just being outside is a victory. People are what you do today? I did Ryan podcast.

Where else did you do that? Fuck you. That's what I did. I made it home safely. It's been days. I didn't lead a goddamn house, you know? Yeah. But it's building like a beast of a stand-up because there's a fearlessness in you because

they can't die in vain, not to be dramatic. So it's like you were living this dream before they passed. And I got to a position where successfully now it would be crazy to stop. But it's like I dive myself into stand-up more than anything else. None of us can stop now. It's a drug. Not only that, but listen, you ain't going to no regular ass. Home Depot job after this.

You can't now. What I look like being like, yo Uber job, can you buckle up, you can't. Because if you recognize me, I'm gonna fight you. If you say,

ain't you, we got to fight. And a lot of people don't give a fuck who you are or what you are. Like, go give me those nails, motherfucker.

I'm hearing of deep. I need these nails right here. Yeah, but nobody's hiring us. The mom shit, though. We're HR nightmares.

We are HR nightmares in the corporate world. Because I've done this so long without working at a very, I don't know how. That's what I'm saying. I don't know how it function. They're going to go look at anything you've ever said or done, but we cannot have him here at this corporation. The last, the last job I had, I think

times go hard. I was like, 28. And I'd say times haven't go hard since I've been 28. Well, I was like, I'm going to get a job where it's like, boom, I tried. Ryan, I was in Glendale doing refinancing homes, which means I had a prompt. Hey, Ryan, how are you doing? Your home, how long you've been doing? I was supposed to say this prompt. And I had the nicest Armenian managers, you know what I mean? Because I told him the second day. I said, how you doing? I said, I can't. I was going to walk out on you.

I said, I'm going to let you know. I'm a comedian. I think I'm really funny. I can't do this. I'll just figure it out. And he was like, I respect you for not walking out of me. When's your next shot?

I'm at the ice house in like a week with Rudy Morrell. Right? He was like, I'll come check you out. And they did? Yeah, yeah, it was really cool. All right. But I can't even, I wouldn't even know what to do.

You know what it is? Because we work for ourselves. I wish somebody would come in. Now, listen, when I write at the shows, that's always an adjustment. You know what I mean too? Because you got you got bosses. Sure.

Boom, boom. And sometimes tones be crazy, right? You know, people's tones be crazy. And so you're like, all right, but I'm getting this checked. You got to that's the closest to a corporate. It's like, but the money be good. So you're like, okay. You know what I mean?

Well, but you're entering that contract knowing that's the game. You're right. You know what I mean? Like, that's the deal. I got to live within or work within these parameters and rules because that's what this company fucking says. And that's what the job says. But when I'm out here doing what I want to do, I can do whatever the fuck I want to do.

Yeah. That's the beauty. That's the beauty. This is, like I say, like these brick and mortars are gone. This is my 2026 family business. These podcasts to stand up. This is my family business. Now I make a living by talking to interesting,

funny people like yourself and sharing it with these great fans. Yeah, my job. Real conversations too, bro. This is real conversation. Yeah, I'm not just pulling them. We're pulling dicks out and stuff. Yeah. You're talking about dead family members.

You know what I mean? We're laughing because he get it. Because you get it. You get it. Unfortunately, I fucking. get it. I was just the show. I said, I know my daddy.

I had an old daddy and somebody in the audience like, not older than my daddy. I said, you don't want to play this game. He said, I bet you my daddy is older than your daddy. I said, you're lost. And he said, my dad is born in 1939. I said, my daddy's dead. You got to win, motherfucker.

But wasn't it yours, the 38th? Mine was 32. My was 32. I was 32. I said, I still had you. But this is when I said, my dad is dead. The room erupted. And I was like, but he died of old age,

motherfucker. That's what I said. died in 1932. How was he when he was he? 78. 78. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that isn't a, that is a long time for a man that came through World War II and all that shit.

Like, that's not the 90s. Listen, not, my dad, listen, my, how you go home? It would be a box in the corner. Like, Dad, what's that? That's where I'm going. Like, what? It's an orange city. It's where I'm going.

We're not, I told your mama, don't do no, don't do no whole thing. You put me in that box. I'm in the military. They're going to take care of me. And I was like, where? Did they give them the nice military funeral? I literally just left San Antonio's first time I told this joke. I tell about that experience.

I never had one. My boy told me, he said, when you go to the military funeral, it's going to get you. I said, boy, I'm going to be straight. You get there. It's the nicest, it looked like Disneyland a funeral homes. All the grass is beautiful. And when you ride up, they're there. The military is there.

They're always there early. They're always there early. Military is always there before. My daddy was an early dude. We buried them early for him. They're there. rest. Hey,

all that. Right. Turn around. It's not a lot of us. It's now it's me, my mom, and my brother and a couple family members.

You know what I mean? And they do the whole, fire! Pow! Look at my brother. He's 6.5. He's 310. He's a whew.

That's power. My dad was in the Navy and they did it. My dad was in the Navy. Seven of them three shots. Listen. It's fucking powerful. The second shot,

pow! I'm getting chills now. That's the blood pressure medicine. My brother. I guess him. I say, dear. That's how you knew he wasn't taking that phone rush around. I'm going to go be with daddy.

Didn't they hand you my mama flag? Yeah. Like he died at war. They fold up a nice flag. With a bullet in it. With a bullet shit on it. I just about to ask you, I never knew that. And someone years later said, well, does your dad have a bullet show in it?

And I said, I don't know. And they're like, if they folded it for you, there's one in there. My younger brother had. I'm like, just touch her. He's like, yeah, there isn't one in there. This is in my bathroom. I had no idea. Yeah, I took it out.

You took the bullet out? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yes, absolutely. That, that right there, oh, listen, it's the gunshots. My dad was in the Korean War. And the echo, how quiet. The Korean War, I was born in 81.

So it wasn't like I grew up in a traditional military family where, like, I lived on bases and we moved. That shit was 30, 40 years before me. So it's the first time you're seeing like this full metal jacket type shit. You see it. You're like, damn. It's real for you when you're like, oh, man, you know, I just always heard about it. It's all picture or whatever. When you get there and you're like, oh, man.

I'm listening. I'm crying like a week later. It's pretty bad. I'm like, mom, I want to be, when I go, I say, I want to be buried next to my daddy. She was like, boy, shut up. He's in the military. I'm the other person that could be buried next to your daddy. Is that the way it works?

Is that right? Yeah. Absolutely. They are. Yeah. That's, it is a powerful thing. It's wild to see. I didn't know we were in for that either.

Listen, you go through it so much. You don't realize you're going through it. My best friend, Daddy died. Right? I won't say that he passed. Now, he was in military too, right? And so I'm like, his daddy hadn't been in the site yet. Like, they built his thing.

I'm checking on my daddy. It's somebody that line doing line care. On the same. I was like, hey, my man. He was like, huh? I was like, my daddy right here. My best friend daddy just died. He's going to be over there.

He was like, all right, take care of you. And I asked me, like, oh, shoot, I'm going cuckoo in this bitch. Excited about it. Does you believe it? Hey. He was like, ah, all right, buddy. What would you say death has taught you? My faith has grown because I have no one.

In what? My faith in Jesus. I believe in Jesus and Christ. I believe in God. My faith in that and him has... Did you not as much prior to this? I did. And it's like, you know, my heart been broken a lot.

You know what I mean? But I've always had somebody to lean on. Right? So now it's like, I know I have family. Like I have a couple cousins and I have friends and I understand that. But I feel like I've leaned on him because I trust that my heart is broken. I don't know how to have mended myself. I don't care what I do.

I trust that he's going to figure that out for me. And I give my confusion about her whole, the way my mom passed was just like she didn't, she was sad. You know what I mean? She was like, we found out she had cancer again. They came back again. And that's why her. She beat it twice. Yeah, like, well, we just found out her, she wasn't, she was like always tired.

was like always tired. We found out her blood dropped. And we found out why was her blood dropping? And we found out it was cancer. Then they asked her, do you want to do chemo? And I said, Ma, you want to do chemo? She's like, I want to do anything to be with my baby. Then the next day, say, you can't do chemo. Then she was like, so baby? Why? She's too old and her condition was so bad that chemo would have killed her. She was like, she looks at me. She's like, so I'm dying, baby? And I was just like, oh.

And I said, Mama, we're just in a fight for our health. And she's like, but I've been fighting, Sydney, I've been fighting. And like, and so our memories, but I get repeated every day. So that part be the part where I'm like, she doesn't deserve that. She didn't, you get upset. But then it's like I look at it or I have to, because I say faith where, you know, overall God needed his child back. Right. And so I can't question the way he did it.

I just know when she opened her eyes, there was no more confusion. And I trust that he's in control of that, just like my heart. And so I have to trust that he'll mend that. Right. That's how I have to trust. Otherwise, I go crazy. Right? So I trust that.

And then through stand-up, it helps me, like, talk about these stories in a funny way. Like, we laughed, right? And so my stand-up is like that. And then I have grown men, like, in San Antonio, dog, grown men. They in, that's military town. Like, hey, man, you know, people think sometimes women be in the line and they do sometimes. But, like, my audience now is all, like, women bringing their dudes to be like, go, go meet him. Like, you know, I lost my shit.

Me too, dude. And so you're like, why don't you know I love my shit? So it'd be like, the beautiful women be taking a picture. Like, no, my boyfriend. Yeah, I'm just here with him. I'm just here with him. I heard about you through him. I'm just like, oh, okay. So I got messy bros.

Just a bunch of mess guys our age learning how to feel their feelings and shit. You know, like, and then the one you got to watch out for, and I got my eye on you, is the one that will purposely get to the back of the meet and greet line and mill around there because you know that's something. He went to talk for 30 minutes. Everybody did his family. Like, I get it, bro. Yep. Like, please, can I just get it here for 10 minutes?

I'm like, I can give you five. It's when you sit. And you're like, okay. It's when you sit. That's the guy you got to worry about. You're like, oh, no, this is, yeah. God can list you in a little bit, but I gave you an hour of my time. And like, we, you know, boom.

And then I gave you a podcast. So afterwards, we could talk for a little bit. But then usually, you know, we got other shows. So it's like, it has it like, you know, I'm sorry. But you got fist bumping right when you get to leave my grandma off. Yeah, that's the other thing is I'm a hit you. I'm only hanging there. You got another show coming and everything.

Let me ask you, where's your brother, Is he cremated as well? He's cremated. He had my cousin's house. I haven't buried him yet. That's because I didn't know. What do you mean? But you mean sprinkled of ashes?

Is that what you mean? No, he's in a urn. But you say bury him? What are you going to do with the, you know, bury the urn? Yeah. Oh, okay. I didn't know. I didn't know.

Cheaper than a coughing, though. That's the whole point. That's the whole point. To me, my mama burned. Excuse me. Well, cremated. It was the right thing. But mama, daddy and mama cremated.

All three of them are cremated. Yeah. My daddy and mom in the ground, my brother I still have right in my cousin's house. I was going to bury him in Houston, but I was like, okay, then I just kept him. But I'm not a person that like, I don't, I just need to bury him, right? But I was dealing with other stuff. I just need to bury my brother. But I'm not a person that wants to look at their earning.

My brother's in there. I'm never going to do that, right? That's nerve-wracking. Where do you think is a good place to bury him? Houston, because he always said Houston was home. But you can't put him in that. Is that a military cemetery also? Oh, okay.

So yeah, Houston, Houston. So probably Houston. Yeah. Yeah. But death teaches you, it's like, you know, it's the realest thing. The world still go on. Can I just say this? This is wild.

A few years ago, you just made me think of this. We're at the Comedy Festival. It was one in Vegas. And we go, we're on Fremont Street. And there's a big group, everybody's doing this or whatever here. We're all had just done a show. So we're just hanging out outside. And there's another group coming through with their big drinks and the straws.

And these two dudes start arguing and the guy pulls out a gun, he shoots the guy right there. Right in front of everybody all of the guy drops, people scream, cops get him immediately. And I'm telling you, it was like a movie. They were just like, and action. And it was right back to walking down free. And I'm like, that guy just fucking died. And the world just keeps stepping on over you with their fucking goofy ass drinks and shit. Oh, man, we are so beyond insignificant on this.

fucking rocking outer space. The more people figure out getting over their self, the better. People take a deep breath, and then they're like, damn, and then they post it something else. And it's over that quick. And the person going through it,

that's why you got to find your tribe because everybody else, listen, everybody's going to, listen, listen, I lost everybody, dog. Everybody's going to say, you need someone, you call me. I don't want you, shut up. You know why?

Because you're fucking not going to answer at three in the morning. You're not. At one in the morning, you're going to look at me like, fuck. Because I'm got the big tears in one in the morning, bitch,

pick up. And you're not. Because you got other things. So you really, it's like, yeah, I get your sentiment, you know. So you're going to appreciate this. My dad dies when my brother and I are twins. We're 14. My younger brother's 13.

My dad dies. We go to the funeral. It's an excused absence from school. The coaches are coming, everybody. And, you know, excuse me. And to your point, they all mean well if there's anything we can do, whatever. Well, we got so fucking sick of hearing. Because, you know, after a while, you feel like you're a kid.

You feel like a charity case and a loser and shit like everybody. So my brothers and I were like, tonight when people come up, let's just fucking say, yeah, we need about $5,000. And we started doing it. And we were fucking, it's what made our dad's dead right up there. And our JV soccer coach came and he's like, if there's anything we could do. And my brother and I just look at each other, like, we could use about $5,000. He's like, I, dude, we were fucking dying. It was the only way we could get through it.

He was panicking. You saw back to them, like, how are you going to tell three kids? He's going to be fin the way. He's going to go to the principal way. Y'all got to help me. Get the district involved. We were hitting them left. We could probably use a place to stay for a couple months.

You motherfuckers. A couple of months is crazy. You motherfucker. Oh, okay. Three of us. Yeah, you know what? The family. Everybody.

Okay. So you don't have anybody that starts a day? Do you have anybody? You know who took us? Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. We did.

We did. Damn. So how are you now with it? I mean, day by day is what my thing is. Today's a good day. The other day, Sunday wasn't. How do you keep your mom and your brother and your dad's memory outside of comedy? I do the same thing.

They're in my work, but you have a photo at home. Oh, I have a, yeah, I bought this thing where it's like, I don't know what to call it. Like a, I'll say expensive cabinet because I don't know what I call it. It's like glass. open it up and I have all her like figurines she had pictures of her are a bunch of vases she was a delta cemetery like they do elephants a bunch of her elephants my brother's in a picture frame above that and my dad I have a picture him over here uh my dad and brother had been absorbed for a minute my mom is still fresh so I just tell myself this dog it's like when it come let it come right

and then when it's when it's not there enjoy the day as much as you can and it's okay that like if some days I can't do shit. Because unless you understand what like this type of pain is, people be like thinking, why don't you go do this? Why don't you go do that? I think the girl I was dating at the time. She said something made me so mad. And I know she didn't mean it, but she was like,

you should get out your apartment. You should leave. You should just, if, you know, I would, if my mom died, I wouldn't want to sit in my apartment. I said, if your mom died, you know, you don't know what you would do. It would rock your world. And I said, if your mom died, you know what you would do, you would call your dad.

Right? But my dad's dead. And you don't have any siblings. My brothers did. I said, this is a different type of pain. If I want to sit here, then that's what I've accomplished. It's washing my ass and brushing my teeth and eating today. And it was just like, then it made you realize it's not really for other people to understand.

It's for you just to take it day by day. That's it. And here's the other thing people don't understand unless you've been through it. Here's a thing. What you understand about it today and three years from now is different than 10 years from now. And that's different than 50. Now all of a sudden you're a dad and you put yourself in your dad. now I'm a grandfather and put my, it never ends.

It never ends. So the fact that you have to continue to learn what the fuck this is, it shouldn't make sense to you. You don't know. You have no fucking idea what you're going to do because I don't. Look, my dad died when I was 16. I'm 52. There are times where I laugh all the time.

I'll be at the grocery store and I'll hear an old song or something. I'm in the frozen pizza section. I'm crying. Right. Catching myself. God damn. My dad like crab dip. You know, you're going like a little.

Don't come up in here. The little dicks. The little dits. You know, the old man like, rich crack, little dick. Yeah. I remember, and he liked the little, uh, the pastries. The little, like the pastries. Yeah, the, the strawberry that'll get you, yeah, yeah.

I'm in there shopping for other shit. And I see the pastry. I said, mm. And like, I'm at the size where if I cry, people look at me like, is he about to pull out? Yeah, you good. Like my dad, they're like, oh, baby, you know. My mom, I'm at the Maverick game.

Average game in Dallas. And they, I got my boots on the grounds. A song. She sang that in the hospice. That's her song. They playing this in the arena. The most masculine NBA men. What are we doing?

What are we doing, Ryan? Cooper flag for the jam. I got my. Why? What are we doing, dog? That's the way it is, man. That's the way it is. It never, it catches you when you least expect.

You're like, for real. In my house school. Oh, shit. Yeah, of course. No, out in society and shit. Like, come on. Now you've got to ask God, before you have a good time, can you not do that? Like, if it's a big boxing match, you ask God, hey, you just not embarrass me.

Please, I just want to watch this fight, dog. I just want to see if he's going to win the goddamn fight. Dude, this was a great episode. Thank you for doing this. Thanks for having me, brother. Before we wrap up and plug again, advice you'd give to 16-year-old Sidney Castillo. Mm. Advice I would give is 16-year-old Castillo is.

Don't question yourself. If it's in your head, just go do it. Don't question yourself. Don't worry about what anybody else thinks. If it's in your head, God put it there. Just go see it through. I think it's 16. I was still questioning a lot of things.

And it didn't take me till like I was 21, 22. I'm going to make the move and just say, F, and I'm going to do it. But maybe it's 16, I thought about taking an acting class. I thought about doing it. I was like, I'd look silly if I did that. I'm too tall. You know what I mean?

Versus at 16, just go do it. You know what I love that. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks for coming on right there one more time. Promote everything you'd like, please. Hey, anything you want to see me in Sydneyis funny. L.O.L.

That's the website, S.Y, N-E-Y-Isfoney. dot L-O-L-L. I am coming to Baltimore, Mogumi's April 5th. I will be in New York at the City Winery in May and Chicago. I'll be here on the 22nd of March. Listen, anything, my podcast,

my cup is full. Check it out, Sydney'sFoney. L-O-L-L. My special, City's Funny. LOL. And I'm shooting my new special coming up. I'm shooting a special for Hulu on the 19th that should drop this year.

So boom, yeah, all those things. Yeah. My man. Thank you. Really appreciate it. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to you all next week.