The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - 398: Michael Blaustein on Losing His Baby Sister to SIDS | The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler #398

Episode Date: August 10, 2026

SPONSORS: HIMS -Sponsored by Hims. Visit hims.com/honeydew to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you. Comedian Michael Blaustein joins me this week on The HoneyDew to Highlight the Lowlights of growing up surrounded by death, losing his baby sister to SIDS, and how those experiences shaped his views on family. Michael shares what it was like having a mom who worked in hospice, including going with her at 2 a.m. to pronounce patients dead. He also opens up about losing his baby sister to SIDS when she was just months old, the confusion of trying to process that kind of grief as a teenager, and how his family turned their loss into something meaningful by getting involved with a SIDS foundation to honor her memory. Check Michael out on the road during his tour and check him out on his podcast “Stiff Socks” SUBSCRIBE for new episodes of The HoneyDew every week. 🎟️See me live. All tickets at www.ryansickler.com/tour 🎤Check out my new standup special “Live & Alive” streaming on my YouTube now! http://youtu.be/PMGWVyM2NJo?si=SrhXjgzR1pe6CyYE 👉 Subscribe for more standup and new episodes of The HoneyDew, The Wayback, and more! http://youtube.com/@rsickler ✅ Subscribe to my Patreon “The HoneyDew with Y’all”! Get The HoneyDew audio and video a day early, ad-free, for just $5/month! Want more? Upgrade to the $8/month premium tier and get everything above plus The Wayback a day early, ad-free, censor-free, and exclusive bonus content you won’t find anywhere else! http://patreon.com/RyanSickler 📧What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] 👕Get Your Merch👕 http://www.bonfire.com/store/ryansickler/ 🎧 Listen to my Podcasts 🎧 The HoneyDew - http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-honeydew-with-ryan-sickler/id527446250 The Wayback - http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-wayback-with-ryan-sickler/id1721601479 Patreon - http://www.patreon.com/ryansickler 📣 Follow Me📣 ▪ Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/ryansickler/ ▪ TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/@ryan.sickler ▪ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/RyanSicklerOfficial 🕸️ryansickler.com/ 🍈thehoneydewpodcast.com/ 🦀Subscribe to The CrabFeast Podcast🦀 http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tacoma, I'm headed back your way. I'll be there September 11th and 12th. La Jolla Comedy Store, one of my favorite clubs in the country. I'm headed back there, September 25th and 26th. Phoenix, I'll be back in your city, November 20th and 21st. Tampa, I'm coming back to side splitters, November 6th and 7th. If you already bought tickets to the October date, they've asked me to move the date. I'm now down there November 6th and 7th. Get your tickets now at Ryan Sickler.com. Denver, I cannot wait to come back to Comedy Works South. One of the best clubs in the country. I'll be there December 4th and 5th. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the honeydew y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I'm Ryan

Sikler, thank you guys. Thank you for supporting this show. Thank you for supporting anything that I do. Come see me out there on the road. All your tickets are at Ryan Sickler.com. Look, you know what we do here? We highlight the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I am very excited to have this guest with us today. First time here on the do, ladies and gentlemen, Michael Blouse Thigh. Welcome to the honeymoon Michael Blouse. Thank you for having me, dude. to watch this show. I'm putting some old bay on them. Yes, yes. Put some old bay on it. I haven't had Old Bay in so long. Really? I need it.

Oh, bro. I mean, I'm surprised I don't have some of the drawer out there. But I used to put it on popcorn. My mom introduced me to it on popcorn. She's right. Well, I thought everyone did it. Mm-hmm. And then you go to not a Maryland place and you don't even know what it is.

They have no idea. And it's upsetting. On your fries, your broad-flog fries or vinegar and all the bay is great. Scramble eggs. Scramble eggs. Scrambled eggs. I never had it on tuna fish. Oh shit.

About the spice your tuna fish right up. Buddy, I was raised Maryland and half Jewish, so I would do white fist salad. Do we know what that is? Mm-hmm. Whitefish salad with the old bay? With the old bay. Say I would do shrimp salad with the old bay. See?

But whole shrimp. That's the secret. Whole shrimp? Whole shrimp? Big ones or small? Not big monsters. Not the little salads. Look a medium.

The mediums. Can I say this? I don't like big, big shrimp. Yeah, big shrimp are weird. You can say it. It's too much. It gives to consistency is like, what am I? It's not a steak.

Well, people don't know how to cook shrimp, man. Okay. You want to tell you, let me tell you. Talk to me. You steam them. All right. You put them in. What I steam them in, same thing I steam my crabs in.

Water, cheap, cheap beer and some white vinegar. That's our broth. Okay. Let that steam up a little bit. Boom, throw shrimp on. Listen, three minutes. Three minutes. Max.

As soon as they're pink off. Done. People overdo it. It's why it's chewy and shit all the time. That's not how shrimp so is done. Because people forget that even when you take it off, it's still cooking. It's still cooking. It's little.

Yeah. They're tiny. Yeah. Get it your life together. They're cook better. That's it. Chicken, when the juices run clear. Yeah.

That's it. Everyone dries the fuck out of chicken. Too much. Just white. Just white. juices are running clear. We're good, bro. Now that we're talking about crabs, this is bringing up.

I had them two days ago. You did? Here? Yeah, I had a bushel shipped out to Palm Springs. We were out there on a dad's and kids vacation. Shut up. Would you use gold belly or whatever? Not an ad.

No. Jimmy's famous seafood. Go to Jimmy's famous seafood. And they just ship it. Overnight or two-day, you can get them. How does it, is it coming like dry ice? Yeah. Okay.

Yep. All right. They steam them, season them if you want. You roll the dice on getting them live just because the trailers are so hot and all that stuff. You don't want to do it. Steam them. Then you just reheat them when you get it out here like a 25 minutes. I need that.

I'll tell you. I'm doing it in like two weeks. I'll let you know. I need it in my life. Can I say something else sacrilegious? One time, not one time. I've caught crabs a bunch of times, right? Obviously, Maryland boy.

But what happened last time, I don't know what happened in my psyche, caught a bunch of crabs. This happened about a year ago with my mom, caught a bunch of crabs. And as my mom is prepping them, I got, and I know this is a sacrilegious Maryland boy, I got, I couldn't eat them. Do you develop an allergy? No, no, no, no. Not like, it was like a psychological thing because I saw them alive and then they were dead. And I, and I have done this 57 times. I didn't care. And something happened. I, became Buddhist or stuff? I don't know what happened. But I was like, oh, and I was like, I can't do it.

I was like, actually gross. And my mom was like, what? I've been living in California for a while. And she was like, oh, this guy's woke. I don't know what happened to you, but I can't eat them. And I feel bad. I can eat them when they're dead, when they're, when I get them. So my brings it to the table.

No, nothing. But I called it. It's like, I, is this tracking? Do you don't feel like that at all? No. No. No. All right.

Cool. I wanted to, I wanted something. I wanted something. I would crab it every summer. It's, One of my things I wish I could go back at the... There's nothing better than ripping it out of its house and thrown it in the pot and put it on your plate, man. Could you tell I need...

Let them know we're the apex, okay? I needed love from you and you're like, fuck you do as you're an idiot. I was going to say, man, I wish I knew you. You could have called me. I would have aid them and consoled you. Oh, I don't know what it was. I just missed out on the freshest possible. I know.

I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was. You have a good heart. Yeah, but I eat stuff all the time. Well, you know what? I never, that's like, I don't fish. I would fish. I was gonna say that that's the first time you've caught or hunted to eat.

But I've done it before when I was younger. And maybe I wasn't on, I don't know, dude. It was like, I was pissed because everyone was thoroughly enjoying their crimes. And I had like corn. I was like so upset. But I couldn't do it.

But I don't care about animals. This is sounds fucked out. I do care about animals clearly. But like, but I, but I had nothing else in that but that moment. I was like, I can't do it. It was like close to my birthday.

I don't know. Maybe I was going to be. No, because, because man was like thinking about like mortality or something. I don't know. You know. You know, there's like, oh, I'm just going to eat decor. I'm just going to have to call. Also, it's funny that you didn't put it.

You know, everyone else is still eating them. Yeah. They're murdered right there in front of you. You just couldn't do it. I couldn't. I wish I could. I don't know what happened in it. Well, before we get into some more stories, please, right there.

Plug everything and anything. like, man. Always on tour. Blowcomedy.com. Always on tour. I take no breaks. I feel like the world's going to end pretty soon. So I'm just all on the road. Blowcomedy.com. Tickets. All right. Great. Now, you mentioned already you're from Maryland. So where in Maryland? Where are you? Silver Spring. Okay. That's, you know that's the Fleetwood Mac song is written about Silver Spring. I did know that. It fucking is. You know what else I just learned? Thank God I'm a country boy. excuse me, Country Roads

is actually about Maryland, not West Virginia, and it's about a stretch right there. I think it might be, is it Rockville up? I'll have to look it up, but it's 100% written and inspired by Maryland,

but it didn't work like West Virginia does in the song. Yeah, Maryland. It doesn't work at all. So who was, I need to know the person that, did they sing it with Maryland first? That doesn't work?

I think they were writing it and figured out, but it's John Denverner's another guy who's credited with writing it when they're traveling through the. Something happens when people roll through Maryland. Silver Springs is a good spot. Why do your parents end up there? Are they Maryland people? Well, my dad was born and raised in Brooklyn. Okay. And my mom born and raised in Maryland, like, Silver Spring, Maryland.

So she, like, never, she never left. That's her spot. Okay. And my dad went to college at George Washington in D.C. Okay. So that's where they met in, like, the area. But yeah, born and raised, Silver Spring, Maryland. And I love to do it.

And here's the, it's that thing when you get older and you realize that where you're from is actually kind of a sick place. But when you're born there, you're like, you know, fucking like, but then you realize like, dude, fucking Dave Chappelle was born there, you know. There's so much. So much. And it's so weird. It's stupid.

Why? Martin Lawrence. Yeah. I was talking about just comedy for sure. Lewis Black. Yeah. That's right. Yeah.

I haven't, it didn't hit me until I moved out here to my, whatever, late 20s, mid-20s, when someone said, have you been to Washington, D.C.? And I was like, yeah, every fucking field trip from first grade to eighth grade. He's a shit, dude. And then they looked at me in there like, I've never been there. And I was like, oh. And it dawned on me that I'm just lucky to have lived within a 45 minute drive of that shit. Because if I lived all the way out here, I don't know that I'd go do just that.

Why would you do that? Right? We're going every I'm like, yeah, Archie Bunker's chair in the mind. You know, she's like, what? She's all fast. She's all fast. She's all fast. She's like, I don't get my, boom.

You know. Just a punk kid, like whatever. We're going again. We get it. We get it. Astronaut ice cream. Museums are free. Who cares?

But dude, but you, but I, you know, obviously traveling stuff and go back to visit home, like I've been obviously a bunch of times and you like have that realization. You're like, oh no, dude, this is sick. Yeah. Like DC. Maryland's a badass state. So is Georgetown. Yeah.

So pretty. Annapolis. Yeah. It's, yeah, for sure. The mentality. It makes sense to why that little pocket of America's when they came over. is where it all started. You know what I mean?

You can feel how it's spread out. Yeah. It is weird that they pick DC like on a swamp to be like, oh, this is the cat. It's where we're doing it. Yeah, why is that? But it is, but yeah, it's interesting, like, mentality, too, because it has, like, a lot of, like, friends of friends are all, everyone's, like, in politics and the way they live. And you're like, son, your dad, what does your dad do?

He makes drones? Like, what, it's weird. What does your dad do? My dad's, well, he's retired now, but he's, he was in, like, tech. He didn't make drugs. For the government, though? No, no, no, not for the government. No, no.

He was in, like, technology for, like, like, you know, Nextel and MCI, like old, old peck. And what about mom? Nurse. Okay, where? She, my God. At a hospital or, like, home care? Well, she did, she worked at, she's an ER nurse, and then she's been hospice for like 40 years. She's the worst of the worst.

Dude, growing up. She sees them coming in and going. Dude, literally I have a thing in my act. I'm like, dude, every day she like works with almost ghosts. Every day. And then she has to pretend they're not almost ghosts. It's like, what a wild. But that's how my mom's mentality is, though.

Like she's always, you deal with death, dude, every single day. Everything outside of that becomes life or death. It's like very black and white. I just joke that my mom's always like, she's like, here's something at the house. Right. And it's not like, oh, it's thunder. It's like, oh, no, that's the hot. water heater. It's, it's, now it's broken. Now there's water on the ground. Now I have to redo. Like,

everything is like doomsday times a thousand. And when I was like kid, you don't understand that. But then you're like, dude, every single day, she deals with the worst thing ever. So that's extrapolated and bleeds into her life. And then everything is the worst. Like, why would it be good? Everyone does. And we act like it's not happening. But every single day. You know what I'm saying like so everything becomes so extreme. We're out there like where you what do you do for a living? Right. This poor guy, this motherfucker's got one foot

in the grave over here. I'm making common jokes and she's just like dealing with people she's cleaning up coma. Terrible. That's so funny. I mean that's terrible though. It's awful but it makes a very... And she's probably seeing

also how family react when someone's dying and here come the scumbags and the thieves and Oh, she does. The depressed and the, oh, God. All she does is, like, that's probably half of her job, right? Because when I was a kid, she would go and pronounce people, Dad, so you go out and, dude, count was. Oh, God, no, she's going to the lobby to tell everyone.

Bro. Like, count of the times when we were, like, young, young, I remember, like, she would, like, two in the morning, she would wake us up and then drive us to, like, old folks harm or whatever or wherever the body was, have to go and be like, yep, dad. And then, obviously, the whole family is there. So then they have to pronounce, but also she has to, like, walk people emotionally through that. And then the emotional journey of that, but then also be like, oh, this is the number you call and people. What fuck you all doing out in the car? Yeah, dude.

I don't even do it. Three hours later. Bro, we were sleeping. There's no cell phones and shit like that. It's true. It's true. I mean, I mean, dude, I don't even know. Making games up in the car and shit. Making games up.

Or just like, just like daydreaming. Like, I, no, nobody daydreams anymore. I'll never forget one time I was just daydreaming to a song and I was I must have been talking a little too loud to myself and my mother goes, what are you doing back there? I was like, nothing. Yeah. But I was just daydreaming. I don't have time for it anymore. Do you, well, let me ask you this, do you not have time for it anymore?

You just don't allow yourself to do it. Like those moments of those moments of on your phone, this has been talked to about many, middle of times, but the moments that are on the phone, you never like. I could daydream on my flights. Buddy. I could daydream. I probably do. But we don't. We're all on fucking cap cut or sleeping or whatever.

But you don't know what I mean? Yeah. Like those times like when is the last time you waited in line and like just waited in line? I get proud of myself in those moments when I want to reach my phone and I don't for like 45 seconds. When I'm just in line waiting for like a bagel or whatever. I'm like, oh man, you really did it, dude.

You really did it. You didn't look at Instagram reels waiting for your waiting for your, for your bagel. Like that's, I'm proud of that now. But when you're a kid, dude, that's all you did. Your parents would be like, look out the window and that was like an option. Like you've like, oh, hell yeah, dude. Look at all this grass. Is that a maple? It's a maple. Let's go learn about it. Can we climb that? Yeah. I got poison ivy. Motherfucker. Dude, I had so much poison ivy. Maryland's killer with the poison ivy. Dude. Sumac too. Sumac. Yeah, yeah, ivy, oak and sum. You had all three on there.

All three of them. And it's just like a concoction of hell. Our bass smoke, in our backyard was on like a, I don't know why it was like this, but it was on a hill. So it didn't matter if you. Is this a neighborhood one or is this like your personal? In my backyard. Okay. And I don't know why they made it like this. But our basketball court, every, you made or missed, it didn't matter.

It was going down the hill. Oh, shit. So, dude, half of the time, I would shoot and then just start running. Like even before it would go in or because if you don't, if you just let it go, It's going down the hill and you're getting poison out of it. Like it's inevitable. And I would get it so bad, dude. You get it bad irregular.

I would get it bad. There was a couple times I got it bad. I got it on my hands. And what I used to like to do is at night when we watch TV, I'd lay in the carpet. And I'd just take my hands and I just gently, you know, just massage. Yeah. And then I'd wake up in the morning and there would be bumps in the morning. between my fingers and I close my

if I had webs, bro. And then I'm going to the doctor to get shots. And I'm like, fuck this shit. We had a dude, a guy named Brian on our soccer team, and he was so allergic to it. He swore that the wind could blow the oil.

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Off the leaves. If you were close enough, this dude and he would get it, he would get like that. He was that kid that would get the, you used to get that blister like this long. And then you pop it. And then you learn later that when it drips on. your skin. That's more. Yeah. That's more. No one told me for years. My mom's a fucking nurse. I'm like, nobody told me. She's like,

people were dying for bright thinking. Fucking bitch it. It's it. And shut up. It's a plant, you pussy. Smoky, you fucking idiot. You're dangerous more. Yeah, dude. I mean, I would get it so, I got it so bad. I'm sorry, let me, I'm sorry, your, uh, your father has passed.

Calamine. Just put some calamine. He's, you know, he went peacefully. Yeah, get in the tub and put some fucking Kalamine. Where you know? The amount of times, bro. And I'm, I'm sure your mom did the same thing. My mom was a big in the middle of a yell at the kids answering the phone. And then answer it like she wasn't just wanting to kill us.

Like she worked at a place. Like, oh, dude. And she was secretary to mom. Locked in. Locked in. I mean, that's nice of you. My mom would have us under her feet stomping and pick that phone up and be like, Hello? We still talk about it. Oh, shit up a foot on like your neck. And we're like,

my mom is never big, wasn't big enough for that. I remember the, I remember the foot tall. Really? My mom's daughter to me. What happened? Was your dad's shoulder? No, my dad's like six two. I'm a, I'm a fraternal twin and I feel like my brother got all the nutrients. Oh, that would piss me off. I'm the only one under six foot. My mom is six even. My brother, my dad was like six two. My brother's six two. My other brother's like six one. maybe 6-3, 6-2. How do you feel about that? You know what? Honestly, growing up, I didn't care because I could put them all up.

Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. Why? Stronger? Yeah. Bigger bounds? It was shorter and stockier.

Yeah. They're the slender. You know what I mean? Okay. More slender. That would piss me. Dude, I played basketball in my whole life. So I would, dude, I would be, like literally, dude, like regular kids would be like,

oh, I wish for a million dollars. I was, I heard this story about Michael Jordan, how his brother would stretch him. And I literally would have my. sister stretch me out. It didn't work. Lightly. I'm five eight. No, not lightly, dude. Like, I'm like, pull. No, nightly, I'm saying. Every night we're doing this. Pull my legs. Like, I would be in the basement. I'm like, pull them, pull them, pull them, didn't work. My dad's like six one. My mom's five, seven, five eight. What happened? And I was, I would like, dude, in college, I would wear. Did you drink milk?

That was the big thing in marriage. It didn't work for you, really. Dude, but everyone I know that drank, it got so big. Let me tell you something, though. You heard, you heard about how milk. This is. is a hoax, right? No, I thought it was... Milk is a hoax, too. Oh, see, I thought it was legitimately like bovine fuel. No. So obviously that's why... What do you mean? I thought it was given all these ladies uterine cancer and everything. Yeah. Got milk. It's a whole campaign. It's conspiracy. Dude, it got bullshit. Yeah. It doesn't, it actually doesn't make your bones stronger, makes them weaker because it's too much calcium. Isn't that insane? This is what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. Yes, I agree. I'm hearing that we shouldn't have ever been taking it because It is legit fuel for cows. Yes. And for humans, it's wrecking our bodies. Wrecking. The ladies' uteruses and men's bones. But we were told, drink milk. It does a body good.

It's the same thing as the fucking, what's the food pyramid. It's all bullshit. They're like, hey, you want pasta. It's the top. The top. Do you know spinach? They fucked up spinach too? No, please tell me.

No, tell me. Pop- pies built on spinach. They told us about all the eyes. They would make us eat all of them. And then years later, someone's like, you know what? My bad. We had that decimal point wrong. And it's just like average.

It's not this fucking super iron fucking thing. It's bullshit. This is what I hate so much when older, older people are like, oh, I miss the old days. It's like, we're still getting fucked. Yeah. We were still getting fucked. You just didn't know because you didn't have it time. Like, we're all getting fucked.

Remember, I wish, I missed the old days when they wouldn't tell us shit right here in my pocket. Yeah. But is it better? Is it better that you didn't know? I don't know. I'm kind of a dude that like... I'll say this. Please.

As a kid yourself, you're older and I thought you're how old? 40. You know, growing up like we talked about growing up, I think, I think the only reason I say it's better not knowing is because you just didn't, you didn't have anything to tell you back then. Right. So you're outside riding bikes and you're in building forts or you're out in the woods or you're running around. doing this or that and playing outside. Yeah. I was very early, like Atari hit when we were in elementary school.

Okay. So we were the perfect generation of a little bit of inside, a lot of outside. We were not the whole stay in like some people now make a career out of this shit. We had a good balance of video game, but also it was only like five up anyway. You know what I mean? But Mike Tyson's punch out, we're playing three, four hours, but we're going out the rest of the time. You know, so that I think just allowed us to daydream more and be more creative. When you got to sit around and go, what should we do today?

Bro. We're all getting together and trying to figure it out. What are you doing? Hacked with nothing. Where are you, what's the town you live in? Silver Spring. Oh, yeah, you did say. I'm sorry.

And that's the whole time. That's the whole. What's the school you go to there? I went to St. John the Evangelist Elementary School. Okay. And then I went to our lady of good counsel high school. Okay. And it was just elementary school.

It was just a bunch of like, what happened was is we had a choice in the summertime. You either wake up early as shit and go into work with mom because that was closer to all our friends. At the hoop and whatever. Yeah. Going with her early. What do you do there? Well, you get there early. You kick it.

You don't do anything and wait for your friends to wake up because you had to get into work 7.15 of the morning. So we would, my sister and I would just sit at work. Where in the like, in the emergency room or something to take it? We would just, we would just roam. We would just roam or like my mom had a good vault to hospital. Yeah, it's not bad. But we're like, you know, little like side offices or whatever just like hang out and wait for our friends to wake up. And then we could play basketball and, you know, play Super Nintendo, whatever, whatever.

Or you don't wake up and you get to sleep a little longer, but then you're just home. And there's nothing going on. Nothing. So that's always a choice. It's like you want to have fun and playing the creep with Randy Syfax? Or do you want to stay home and probably fistfight your sister? You got a choice. Or we order. This is the craziest thing. Do we order pizza with change that we found around the house? Do we would hand this poor pizza dude? A art box full of change. Like change, dude. And back then, whatever, pizza was like $8. $8 of change.

Lose change, not rolled up and shit. No, dude, I'm talking about nickels, hennies, and no tip. We didn't even know we had a tip, no tip. Artbox change. Thank you so much. We would find change in my mom's trench coat. We would go deep, dude, deep. And that was the food for the day.

Yeah, yeah. Just no, oh, man, I feel so bad for the pizza guy. That's the choice. Either wake up early and be so upset that you're soaked and tired, or stay home and fight. those are the two choices but yeah silver from the rest of the till till i went to college okay yeah now you said blalstein you say you're jewish right you mentioned earlier yeah yeah is your high school catholic catholic our lady over you know why are we doing that well because my mom i was raised

with my mom and she's catholic okay okay okay okay she actually she actually converted when my when I, they got married, my dad, my mom, which is like, if you knew my mom is like crazy. What's her maiden name? Maroni. Oh, she's Italian. No. No. Irish.

Irish. Like super de duper Irish. Okay. Dude. Like, is she going to church a lot? Church. Is she making you go? Yeah.

Yeah. Are you going like during the week or are you just Sunday? No, Sundays. Okay. All right. But I went to, I went to Catholic school, though. Yeah. You're going.

You're going. You're going. Not every day, but you're going. We're going. We're going at least once a week. Well, you're going to Catholic school every day. So that's just church the whole time. And then they give you Mass a couple times during the week.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I always said this man. Like, it was a great, no one is a better parent than God. Like as a kid, dude. If you're like, hey, don't do this. Your God is going to be pissed. I mean, I'm going to listen to that more than I'm going to listen to my mom. Yeah.

Just a dude everywhere is going to be pissed at me. As a six-year-old, like, it makes the most sense. So it's a great. I don't know if I'd send my kids there, but like, but maybe, right? I mean, nothing's a better parent to me than God. So yeah, but yeah, fucking sober from Maryland the whole time. And yeah, and then Catholic school, as with a Jewish last name was odd. And you split, your parents, excuse me, split when you're young.

Young, six months. Six months. Yeah. And do you stay in that house with mom and dad moves or how does that work? Yep, stay in the house with mom. So you don't have to uproot even the house. Well, until I was 10. Okay.

And then my mom got remarried. Oh, she did? Yeah, number two. How was he? Fine. He's fine? Fine. Still around?

Yeah. Okay. Are they still together? No. Oh, okay. No, that lasted like a year and a half. Straight two. You all had to move for a year and a half.

Well, we stayed in the house. Okay. But the marriage lasted like a year and a half. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was fine, dude. He wasn't like, he was fine, dude. So it wasn't like.

So it wasn't like he was abusive to you guys or anything. It just didn't work with them. No, he was fine. He was super quiet, a little awkward. Did he have kids? Yeah. He did. So dude, I went from having-

Are they living with you too? Yeah. So I went from having one older sister and they got married when my mom was pregnant with my younger brother. Oh, so that's his dad. Yes. Okay, gotcha. So then we moved into a bigger house and my stepdad already had three kids.

kids that were all dudes. So I never had any, like, dude energy in the house ever. It was just my mom, my sister screaming to me that men ain't shit. And why hasn't the mortgage been paid? And I'm like, I don't even know what's happened. Man ain't shit. Literally, that's just some man ain't shit. Man ain't shit.

Man ain't shit. That's a funny message to grow up around as a boy with two girls. Yeah, that's literally it. They're not wrong. They're not wrong. They're not wrong. Most of them ain't shit. I mean, I can't rely on them either. No.

No, it makes sense. They're not wrong. Yeah. But yeah. And then, and then going to a house where there's three other, like three other boys. How big was that house? Wasn't that big, probably four bedrooms. You got three plus you and your sister.

Yeah. And mom's got one on the way. It's going to be total of six kids. Yeah. Okay. So one of them. lived one of this one of my stepbrothers lived at the house the other two lived with their mom got so i would see them ever their weekend but one of them lived in in the house and that was like that was those weird

things were like you're at i was 10 right so i was at such an age where i was like trying to figure out what the world was like and then having someone that's like i was 10 so he was like 13 14 in my head this guy was like 47 years old yeah he was like introduced me like rap and stuff and i'm like what is this. I was just, it was, whatever he said, I was like, that's what it is. Like, one of those things, you know, but yeah, you never, you never realize like how much people like put you on a different track just by introducing like music and sports and just, dude, I would steal his candy. I remember this so distinctly, dude. I would go down to his room like it was like, like a mission impossible thing. Like, as he was sleeping and steal Reese's. And, and,

and go upstairs with like the vindication, like I just like robbed like the Lou. Yeah. You know that feeling? Now I'm gonna sit down and enjoy this shit. Oh dude, I would eat it so slow too. Yeah, just a slow one. Yeah. That's a slow eat.

That's not the fast eat. No, no, no, no. If he's up and awake, that's a fast eat. Oh yeah. So that's a slow and joy. Dude, I would steal his chips and eat them. Why he's just high? Is that why he's not at that?

He had so much. I think he was high. Now what I'm saying it allowed him like, I'm like, he's hiding it down there because you're always taking it. Oh, no, no, no, no. I think he just headed down there, like, because he was probably high. But I remember, so distinctly, I would steal his chips, and I felt like, you know, when you eat chips, they're loud in your head?

So I would eat them so soft because I felt like I was, like they could hear what I could hear. Yeah, so I would soak it with my saliva. And then, like, like a smoothie in my own mouth and just. Potato slurped. Just gel it all up to go. Slided down. That's not ridiculous.

They are. I've had Doritos late at night before I'm like, I'm going to get a noise complaint. Yeah. Yeah.

My landlord's going to call. Yeah, yeah. So good. So good. Well, before we started talking, you said that you did, if you're already talking about it,

you said you had a sister who passed. Yeah. Yeah, I had a sister who passed. So my stepdad and my mom that had my brother, John. And then, oh, this was their baby.

This was their baby. Oh, I see. This was going to be number two. This is going to be number two, right? And so she was born. And it was interesting because how the family was sort of divided, right? So like my mom had so much to deal with. And then at that point, my stepdad was like out of the house.

So, you know, it's the same family thing where it's like, all right, you guys are old enough. Like not like he'd care of the kids, but like sort of. It's like my mom is like, I got to work too. Like I have to support now a whole house and four kids. I have no help like you do with the kids. And so what was interesting is my sister was always like, quote unquote, in charge of my brother. And I was always in charge of my sister. And so when she, like if you look at any pictures, there's always like me holding her and my, my sister holding my brother.

And so, yeah, man, when she passed, she died of sins when she was like six, seven months. And dude, it's like Were you there? Yeah. You woke up to hearing that. I do. I remember, like I could walk through to my brain. It's one of those things that like,

you, like I was young. It was like 11, you know, 12. Yeah, I was like 12. And you don't know what's happening. You know what's happening on like some like top line idea. But you don't know like what it. means, you know, and I could walk through the whole thing with the paramedics and the way she even looked and then, and then also like, all absolutely. Do you mind talking about? I mean, what,

who'd you hear a scream, mom? Um, I don't remember. What do you remember hearing or someone tell you? I just remember there's so much like commotion. I just remember the idea of like, yo, what's, like, I don't know, I don't know if I was in the TV room or I don't know if I, no, I woke up Actually, yeah, because it happened like really in the morning. And I woke up to commotion and my mom sort of like obviously freaking out and my sister freaking out. And me like visually seeing it, but not really knowing what's happening. And then the paramedics came like pretty quickly into my recollection. And I just remember seeing my baby sister just on just like on the ground and like obviously like miscolored.

And I just remember like her on the ground and her not having the right like pigment. And then, um, again, and the arometics like taking her away. And I just remember like not just not like understanding what it, what just being very confused about what that meant. And I had so much trouble like my sister and my mom like obviously were like emoting and like in a crazy. way and I think I was just so in shock for like months and months after that I don't know I like I don't even remember I don't remember crying like I think I just like didn't I had no idea how to process it and nobody like walked me through had a process I don't even know if anyone was like are you okay like none of that I think like if you got a family like that with so much um you know my mom was

like effectively alone right so it's like there's no judgment on my mom for being like, how come you didn't like ask me how I was or whatever? It's like, dude, if you're my mom, you have so much to worry about working over time and now this happens. It's like, so there's no judgment, but nobody was like, hey man, how are you doing? How are you processing? And I don't even remember crying. I remember like being obviously like out of school because of it. Was there a funeral? Yeah. Service. Yeah. Service. And I remember Like she had this like really tiny. Oh.

I know. I know. Like really tiny. It's hit me because when my father was buried, I stepped out of the room for a breath of fresh air. Right. And the room next to us had that. And I just, I just was like, what, duff? I was just like, good God.

It's. It was a little one. It's a little one. Yeah. It's a little one. I remember seeing that. It's the only time I remember seeing that. Yeah, dude.

It was like, I remember is little and white. and I just remember like obviously like being at the service and still man I was like I'm just looking around and seeing everyone just in shambles and me being like why why am I not mirroring that why am I not feeling what everyone else is feeling am I bad person did I like I just remember feeling all those feelings and again nobody was like come here like sit down like how are It was just, there's just so much going on. And I remember the worst I ever felt was, I was at my aunt's house. This must have been like four, five, six days after.

And I was out of school for a little bit, obviously. And I remember playing with my cousins. And these were like, you know, you have like your favorite cousins that are just like your homies. And effectively just like your second brother, second sister. Yeah. Brother from different parents. Of course. Yeah, yeah.

So I just remember like playing with them and having just like, just having a great times. We were playing like street hockey and whatever, just having a great time. And I remember my mom drove up because we were staying there just to get away from the house. And my mom drove up. And I remember feeling so bad that I was like having fun and not mirroring what everyone else was feeling. And I just remember like running up to my mom. And this sounds horrible, man, but I remember like, like faking it because I was embarrassed that I was like having a great time playing street hockey with with my cousin and my mom was like in shambles like that was that weird and I remember like hugging my mom and like just pretending I was sad which was just horrible and I and I obviously like

pushed all that down as a kid like I didn't know how to process it and it all started like coming up like a couple years later and I remember like I was just like a bad kid and I remember just being like I'm just a bad kid like whatever I like to be the class clown and make people laugh and

throw markers at teachers and it was like such a big that was you in my class I was I wish I had class I wish you were in my class I was like I was a crazy I was a crazy person.

Like every single day getting, every single day is crazy. I would say like three times a week out of five days. It's only five. Yeah, it's only five. Yeah. And just like. Presented by Shaquille O'Neal, Dunkman is a new electrifying dunk league that aims to transform dunking from a one-night contest

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get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available on Canada and the UK 2. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash honey-dew. Yeah, dude, just always at the principal. Like always. And they'd be like, what is going on? Because if you're an adult, you realize the pattern. But as a kid, you're like, what do you mean, dude?

I'm great. Everything's great. I'm just being crazy. And there was such a big juxtap. I was always like kind of like a ADD kid, but never like bad and super disruptive on purpose. And it was from when I got back to school from my sister passing and I was just being super disruptive. And I remember it was the first time I ever like talked to, they had to bring in like a counselor. They didn't work at the school regularly.

It was like a, you know, fucking whatever. They brought someone in to talk to me. I guess, now what I'm saying is, I mean, not a counselor, probably a therapist, honestly. Yeah. But I remember just talking and it was the first time someone was like, like, how are you feeling? And I'm like, and I remember being like, what are me? I'm great, dude. I'm making everyone laugh.

This is, this is awesome, right? I'm like, I'm just a kid. I have all this energy, blah, blah, blah. And it was the first time that someone tried to link it to that. And I remember in one of those sessions was the first time I like broke down. You did? Yeah, because it was a, I just. I just feel, I just felt like, and I might be misremembered this, but I just remember it was the first time someone was like, but like, how are you doing? And like stopped talking and wasn't doing the dishes and wasn't trying to do a million things. And it was just like someone in silence, being like, how are you doing? And that just like killed me. And I remember I talked to that woman for probably like six months, seven months, whatever. And my behavior like got a little better. But yeah, from.

From that on, from that moment on, I was always like to class idiot. And I think it's not, I think it's definitely like some type of like defense mechanism that got that got buried deep. Because if I'm making them laugh, I don't have to like, I don't have to like suss out how I'm feeling. Because like, look, I'm making other people laugh. Like that was like a big turning point in like in my life. But yeah, dude, it was. I'm no professional. I'm no therapist.

But I'm a dad and my daughter is 11, 12 right now. And I'm sitting here thinking and listening while I listen to you and I'm putting her in your shoes. Sure. And I would just say this, like you're not supposed to feel what those people are feeling. Right. That's every parent's worst fucking nightmare. And they don't want to, not only do they not want to think about it, they're looking at it. Right.

And a lot of them are shocked like I was. I didn't know. I didn't know they had baby coffins. Not even to something I ever even put into my head. Why would you? Ever. Yeah. I'm 16.

And I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah. So you're not supposed to feel what those people feel because you're not apparent. And they don't know what the fuck they're feeling. Right. They don't even know.

Right. So there's no way you can, they can even tell you, hey, here's the appropriate feeling for this because they're like, I don't know. And they got to fucking, they still have children. I know, they can't just wrap it up and be like, you know what, I'm out of here.

I know. I still got to do this. I know. And man, I'm thinking about your mom who's always fucking working with people who are dying. And now this happens to her too. Like,

oh, man. I mean, it was, I mean, and you're throwing markers at Miss Johnson. Yeah. Yeah. You're looking at them.

They're not nice. Dude, I was just trying to like, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was a lot. My sister and I still talk about someone.

We'll talk about it for forever. Like, My sister has two or two. My sister has three kids. And my sister has a loving husband. It's an awesome dude. Like awesome guy. And he, like they're a team.

Like they take care of these kids together, right? 50-50. Like they're an awesome team. And my sister and I talk about us all the time. I'm like, my sister's like, this is so hard. And I have somebody else. My mom had nobody else. And she had four kids.

now she has three kids and it's like it's not my my mom wasn't like okay you're not going to do sports talking like she she god willing bro she picked she was late a lot but she picked us up from sports i mean i mean late all the time but she picked us up supports drove us to whatever found the money to put you found the money i mean to all of that stuff and she she put us in a private school ryan and she didn't have to yeah that's a private school and she didn't have to like is that helping that is, I don't, it's one of those things, man, where, like, your perception of what is happening, I don't, I don't know, because my perception is yes, I bet you if we ask my mom, it's,

it's no, I think maybe the amount was probably not what it should have been type of deal, but again, I don't know. I'm being fed two different, uh, two different, you know, sides of the story. but but yes in like a financial way but probably not enough and it's like having a mortgage being a nurse like we all know it's you're not you know you're doing overtime just to make it so it's like a mortgage three private schools daycare sometimes clothes like just food dude i remember there are so yes and you're growing so it's constant it's not all right here's your shoes for two Yes, correct. No. Correct. And it's like, but I remember so many times, man, like she worked, a bunch of nuns would work with, with my mom. And they would, like, the nuns would give my mom food and my mom would bring the food back. And my mom would always be like, oh, I don't, I'm not hungry. I don't eat. I remember this. And I remember like, wow. And I was like, young, you know, six, seven. I'm like, mom, doesn't eat. It's crazy. But blah, blah, blah. But now you're an adult, you're like, oh, no, she's starving, bro. Like, she's starving. and we would like split like a chicken breast between like three people and so it was like on like

that level and then add two more kids and then one that pass away and then it's just but the end thought is like I can't I just can't believe that she did it. Like it was a. I mean, I can't imagine and not not wanting to just fold up. And you got to keep going. Have you ever talked to your mom about it? Have you ever sat down years later and talked to her about that? About my sister's passing or just general.

And how she was and how she got through it or? No. What was your sister's name, by the way? Grace. Grace. Grace. She have a middle name? She actually, she did not.

She didn't. All right. Grace. Grace, yeah. Oof. No, no. I mean, what does your mom do to remember her? Is there anything around?

the house for her. Yeah, so dude, Shmaham is a, like, being a hospital service, but just being her. She's like the most empathetic person. She celebrate her birthday or anything like that. Do we do all of that? Can I ask you, how would she be now? What are we talking about? You're about 30? Yeah. So, yeah, so she'd be about, yeah, I think she turned 30,

31. So she'd be 31. But we do, we're part of this organization, the SIDS organization. I know. I used to do, Tom Sagan, I used to do stand up. So back in the day with DeBreya and Shout out the D. Bredette. She used to invite us out and they would do these Sunday shows. They were daytime afternoon shows and they were for organizations. There will be a little league team. We want to come parents and a lot of them were for SIDS and things like Crohn's and colitis. And that's when I learned about SIDS. Yeah. And then of course as a parent, I'm like, you know, I was terrified at first, but then my daughter's mom and I split when she was one. So I'm a single dad in my own place with a crib and shit and

I'm not sleeping. Yeah. I mean, every two minutes I'm going in there. Oh, yeah. I mean, I put my hand under there. Oh, yeah. It can't happen on dad's watch.

No, no. Oh, no. If it does, can you imagine if that happened and it, no. With my dad doing it? By himself. Oh, no.

No. Problem. No. Gun. Immediately gun. But I see that they, like, it's very serious. So a friend gave us a crib and I went to put it

together and luck, as luck to have it, some bracket was missing. And so I call about it and the lady said, sir, that crib has been discontinued. You need to put that outside and you need to put a note on it that says, do not use dangerous and the city will come get it. I said, okay, we did that. Bought a new crib, put it together.

Then you get these bumpers, they call them like the inside. Well, they would have solid ones. Well, a lot of kids were rolling over and boom. They couldn't get it. So now they make them with mesh, you know, and shit like that. So there's all these, you know, a horrible learning curve of what to do better.

And you're just terrified. You're terrified. The whole time you're terrified. And then you're so excited to finally get some fucking sleep, but you can't because you're like, is my baby dead in there right now? Because I don't hear it. Yeah.

I'm hearing that motherfucker all day and now I don't hear it. Yeah. Now you're hoping for crying. Yes. Cool. Alive. Yes. Great.

Yes. As a rule as a parent, though, usually any parent will tell you when it's quiet and that, when they're older, when it's quiet in the house, that's when you need to go look. Right.

Some shit's going, Oh, what fuck y'all brought up there. Yeah, I mean, I'm like a helicopter parent to like my dog. Like, I'm a nightmare, but I can't even imagine what I would be or how I'm going to be when I have kids. Like, it's going to be. Do you want to be a dad? Yes. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't wait, man. I can't wait. I just, it's, it's, it's, what I'm about to say, I guess it sounds a little selfish, but we'll work through it. Like, I think like, I, the idea of. to me of having kids is like just a beautiful experience with all the downs and all the friction but it obviously comes with a lot of incredible experience but also you know what it comes with

that I'm actually super excited about is purpose yeah and I feel like right now I'm like working so hard and there's so many times where I'm like getting on the plane to go back home or getting on a plane and go to another show and I do have this like deep sense of being like what the fuck is all this for what is all this four what is all this four? And the idea of being like, oh, now I know. Now there's a direct reason why I'm breathing. That seems, that just seems incredible. Did you, right, that's what I was going to ask you.

No doubt. Right. There's a whole lot of shit that goes into it. Because also, you're just literally plucking a soul out of non-existence. That doesn't ask to be here. Yeah. That doesn't, didn't know it was coming. So if you're going to do it and then you're going to leave it or whatever, you're just a piece of shit.

Like that baby person didn't say, hey, I want to come with you guys. Right. You grown in that lady right now. Yeah. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. And your whole life changes. Yes, the best thing you'll ever fucking do with your life.

It absolutely gives you purpose. Look, the truth is I've always wanted to be a dad. I waited until I thought it was the right time. Yeah. And then an end of the year later, I was like, I could have done this in my 12. You know what I mean? When I had good knees and a good back. I'm waiting until my 40s when it's right.

Man, fuck that. I could have done this when I was like 25. I'd have been out of the woods and everything by now. They didn't be college. I'm traveling. What am I talking about? I could have been playing catch. Anything.

Anything. Anything. But yeah, it's the best thing that you'll ever do. I always tell every dad or mom. That's the best credit you'll ever get. That it's so wild that like everybody, it's obviously true because everybody has the same reaction, same story. They say a bunch of horrible negative stuff.

And they go, but it's worth it. And you go, if all of that equals worth it, it's, you can't even describe it. Like everyone who talks about on stage, everyone who talks about a not on stage, it's the same thing. And there is a part of me that like, I just, I just want to. experience that. It's like we're on the earth not to like compile money. Like we're on earth to like a second what you were just alluding to and to like bring new life. Like that is the purpose of us. Yeah. And so no shit the reward on that must be crazy. Yeah, I'm excited.

But I'll tell you, the investment is not easy because as a parent, a lot of times and you got to live long enough if you're having kids when you're older. Your kids don't realize it until you're talking about it right now. How do fuck the, how did mom do that? I don't know. Right. You don't realize. That's what I'm talking about.

That's the long game of parenting. Also, you could be a great parent right now for 10 years. Right. Your next three might be shit. Go fuck up the whole thing down. It's a long game. And usually your kids, until they get older and like yourself and they look back, they're like, how do you at every game?

Right. How were you at all the prior? Where did you get the money for the food and the shoes and the didda-da-da-da-da-da-da. That's when it comes back. And you're like, yeah. And they realize like, oh, my God, that was crazy, unselfish. And you figured out a way to do all that for me. That's fucking awesome.

There's your dividend. And then hopefully they have some grandkids. And you get to tell your kids, fuck off and spoil. You know what I mean? Dude, that, excuse me, that idea that you just said was just like you could have 10 great years. and then three years or one year that's like quote unquote bad in their head and it sets them off this track.

I don't want to talk to you forever. You know what I mean? Yeah, good. Just like a whole family of, you know, wealth that just takes one crackhead to fuck that whole shit up for the rest of these generations down here. That's it.

Yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm. That's so scary. Mm-hmm. Listen. Do you think about that? Dude, are you kidding me?

When I split with my, my daughter's mother. She might as well been on Mars. Right. I live two miles away, but it's a whole other world over there. They have their own dog. You know what I mean? Like they have their own neighbors. They got their whole own life over there. So you're just, oh, I had to go to therapy for a while. It made me future trip about any boyfriend that would come in, what he might or might not do. Or maybe he's got kids that are going to introduce my daughter to drug. Like, I mean, I mean, God. Bro. God. And how often you, see her? Oh, I have 50-50 custody. I've been with her since I got her on the 4th of July,

and then we just all went out to Palm Springs. I just dropped her off at camp this morning. So I've had her for, yeah, like 11 days. Okay. And I love it. I'm telling you. And every year she gets older and I look at it. I'm like, don't want to hang out with me now already. I'm right. And it's, you know, you got to go through all this. But they should push back. They should push. You want your kids to push back. That's a positive thing, man. Yeah. You don't want them. B.OV. Yeah. Like, hey, let me have a little bit. Now, respectfully, push back. You know, like, don't treat me like shit. Yeah. Be good in school, but challenge. I don't mind any of that stuff. Whenever she'll ask me why, I'm never the, I told you so. Because I promised her. I was like, I'll give you an answer every time I'll give you one. You might not like it. Right. But I'm going to tell you the truth. Right. So, yeah, I think if it's something you want to do and you find a right partner, you got to find a good partner. Then you should. should do. And which I definitely do think I have. Because also I don't mean to interrupt

it. No, please. When you want to have kids it ain't the easiest fucking thing to do. You go out tonight and you don't want to, you'll get twins with some stranger. But really when you try, you would think it's not with the gazillion people who've been on this planet. But when you get down to try and get the business and

body temperatures and ovulation and all this shit, it's not as easy as you think. Did you try? Oh yeah, yeah. And you were like, oh, it took three times. Okay. But we, you know, we, she had a three, three intercourses? Mm-hmm.

That's it? Three months. Three months? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Like, no, not three. No.

Oh, that's what I thought. Because you're supposed to do it a little bit before, during, and a little even after. If you want to throw a little, chef's kiss and see if they don't make it. What is that? What is the little bit of a little means? You know, a few sessions. Rendezvous? Before, during.

Okay. And even throw one in a little late for Hail Mary's sake. Yeah. Okay. And then we did that. December, January, and then February was when she got pregnant. Is that normal? Well, they told us, that's what I'm saying, my daughter's mother was 40.

So no, it's not, I was 41. So the older you are, it's not as easy. Right. I smoke weed and they were like, and my doctor was like, Jamaica. That's what he said. Jamaica. That's true. That's true.

You know, you're right. He goes, he was also a low sperm count is still in the millions. Right. You know what I mean? Did you get your stuff tested before or not? No. No. Because we, if it would have been like six months or something, we both would have.

But we did one. Didn't work. We did the second one. And the test read positive. But she was like, I don't really know. And then two days later we did it again. It was some kind of false. I don't know.

Okay. I'm a guy. Yeah. And then the third time it went. Wow. And it took. You hurt being 40. I mean, obviously you already know this.

But like, that's 41 when my daughter was born. Incredible. Yeah. And she and your daughter said 11. So did your, did your ex-wife, ex-wife? Ex-fiance. I never got married. Oh, okay.

Mm-hmm. What happened? Can I ask? Yeah. I mean, after, well, long story short, we had dated two and a half years, split for two years. Yeah. She wanted to get back together. It took me a while to agree.

We did. We decided we wanted to have a baby. But she'd already had a son from another relationship. and she's like, I don't want to have a baby unless I'm married. Got. And I said, look, I respect that. However, we're geriatrics in the pregnancy world. And this shit could take a year or two.

Or it may never fucking happen. You know, maybe it's IVF or whatever. Uh-huh. So the happy medium was we were together again for a year. We got engaged. And then we just started trying to see. And on that third month, it happened. Okay.

And then after that, she was like, yeah, I don't want to do this. Really? Yeah. Does something specifically happen? I got it. I got to know, dude. This is like because...

I'll say this is what specifically happened. We had had a history and we should not have gotten back together. Got it. We should not have. However, the greatest thing that could have come from it did. But we are good co-parents. Awesome. We are not good partners together.

Awesome. We bring out the... worse than each other, I would say. Okay. For sure. Okay. And, yeah. Well, the most important part about that is you guys are good co-parents.

Yeah, and we get along. Like, I mean, I say we get along. Let me dial it back. We're professional. Great. Like, we don't do the shit where she's at a game so I won't go. Yeah. No, none of that shit.

We're, if an event's there, we're both there. We're both supportive. We don't argue and bicker ever in front of her. We don't, I don't know what goes on over there. Uh-huh. But I don't talk shit about her mom over here. If you guys went to a game. Did your daughter play sports?

She's in cheer, yeah. In cheers to play soccer and all that. So if you guys go to the same game or the – are they called games? Cheer thing, cheer camp, cheer, whatever? Thank you so much. You go to the same competition. You guys sit next – like stand next to each other, sit next to a day? No, all the time, yeah.

All right. I mean, if there's nowhere else to sit, but like we just went to her fifth grade graduation, I'll sit in a row behind or whatever, you know what I mean. Are people bringing other people as significant others? Yeah, her brother's there and stuff like that. Okay. You know, so I'll let them all sit together. But no one has people brought other significant others?

I see what you're asking. Not anything like that. No. Great. No. Okay. Because that's a step, huh? That's a big, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I'm saying. That's what you start, I had to go to therapy, had to go to EMDR therapy. Because I start a future trip and about everything. So it is, what is it? Eye movement, desensitation, repetition? Yes. No, so I. Dr. Drew and.

introduce me to this. And I- My therapist told me to do this. You should 100% do it. I did two sessions and I was like, maybe this, all respect if you're listening, but maybe that therapist was terrible at it. Maybe.

But I did two sessions. Did you go in person or did you zoom? I didn't. I zoomed it. That's okay. That's all right. Did they do eyes? How did they do it?

Eyes. Yeah. And how are you left and right in? Are you blinking or what were you doing? I think I was doing. I think I was- Thank you. Eye movement, desensitization and reprocessing.

Yes. Yeah. So I try. I think I was, I was following something. That's it, right? I was following something, whatever. But it didn't do shit.

It didn't do shit. I was still flipping out. Well, here's the thing. Yeah. Listen, I like to think I'm a strong dude. I got it all together. But my daughter almost got hit by a car. This is, I don't know.

She's like, I don't even remember five or six. Whatever. It was too close for comfort. And I found myself thinking about what didn't happen. It would have been brutal. But I kept seeing what didn't happen. And it started to flip me to fuck out. Out of nowhere, I become scared of heights and flying.

I love flying. Yeah. I got to fly for my fucking job. Yeah, yeah. I'm freaking out on planes. Dude. Like how bad? When the turbulence hits, I'm going,

and then locking eyes with other people to see if they're with me or they're not. A couple of those. I was like, I can't. I used to love going down that run. Yeah. I would terrify. And I would look at crashes online. First 10 minutes and anything 10 minutes.

Oh my God. I looked up the window and shit. Like, oh, if I can see it, it's going to help. It's fine. Yeah. And I'm terrified and I'm panicking. But never drank, never took Kalaniput. It's nothing.

I was like, I got to go get this figured out. So the funny thing is it hit me. I was working with Tom Segora at the, what was that casino? know in Atlantic City. Is it the... Burgata? Ocean or something. It was a big one.

Not Borgata. It's like ocean or whatever the hell. It was newer a few years ago. This motherfucking escalator in there went, boom, boom. It must have been nine zigzags up and it was way up there. Yeah. And I just got on. Like, I always got on an escalator.

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I start fucking sweating and panicking. I turn around. I'm facing the people. Yeah, yeah. Don't know them. No one. And the guy goes, you all right? And I go, no.

And I sit down and I put my hands like this. No. And we still, we're climbing up like fucking Mount Everest on this thing. And I go, bro, just tell me when we get to the top. And he goes, all right. And I get to the top and I walk off and I got to sit down on the next. We still got three more zigzags to go. And I'm like, what the fuck?

what's going on. And I go to EMDR. And it took three months. Okay. It took a good month for me to really understand it and start working through it and understand that like basically in a nutshell, we're conditioned for responses. And a lot of times we respond based on what we know, but what's not fucking happening right now.

And that's what she said. She goes, do you hear what you're saying? You keep thinking about what? I go, what didn't happen? She goes, what didn't happen? Right. We're here. Everything's good.

Right. You're over there. Right. I was like, okay. All right. All right. And you just start going through your life trauma. Fuck.

Finding out where to fuck that mentality comes from. Yeah. And then I realize that, okay, it's also a control thing. Like, I can't get in a car. I can say pull the fuck over. I'm driving. Yep. I can't get on a plane and walk up to the front.

Be like, move. Yo, make a right. Let me fly this thing. I can do a way smooth. I know buttons. You're just, You're stuck with whoever that's up there today. Fuck.

So yeah, it started tripped me out. But now I sleep on my flights. You're good. I live on the top floor in my building. You're good. Fucking good. But it took three, four months of weekly going. I did go in person.

Okay. And they use buzzers in your hand and stuff. But it takes a second to really start dealing there. I had no buzzers. I had no buzzers. And I was just looking back and forth. And I'm like, what, fucking left right, left right. None of this is working.

None of this is working. Wait, before we go, you had mentioned out there before we talked to. You had a surgery when you were younger? Yeah, when I was four and a half. Your poor mom, no offense. Dude. Your poor mom. Dude, I don't, I'm telling you.

A four and a half year old surgery is scary as fuck. As fuck. I don't know. What happened? So I had my, I have really bad migrants. And so I had a really bad migraine and my temperature. spiked crazy and I had a seizure. It's called a febrile seizure. And they take me to the ER, obviously, and they do at that time, I don't think I'd do it anymore, but at that time they did a

scan, what's it called a fucking CT scan? No, MRI. MRI, thank you. They did MRI. And they found that there's a massive cyst behind my heart. But I don't know. Do you remember a lot of this? I remember certain things about it. Yeah. I remember the way they gave me anesthesia. I remember that so distinctly they put this like big, I don't even know, big contraption in front of my face. And there was a balloon attached to it. And the guy was like, I want you blow up the balloon. I was like, I love fucking balloons. Dude, I remember being like, sick, a balloon. And then, you know, after eight, two seconds, I was like gone. And I remember my grandparents got me a red bike.

What? And I remember being like, bro, let's run this back. No, you ain't going to be able to get on this for six to eight months. I know what's going to be fucked actually. Just look at it. Yeah. We got you a dirt bike. You sit on and we'll get pictures.

But you could not exert any energy. It's terrible. That's awful. But yeah, they, they think. Wait, can I ask you this tumor behind your heart? Is this like, are they telling your mind? Is this a rare thing? Super rare.

Is this one of these things where we don't know if he's going to make it out and shit? Are you going to a specialist somewhere? Sure. Went to a specialist. In Maryland. In Maryland. Thank God my mom's ex-boyfriend was the guy who like effectively invented open heart surgery. Get the fuck out of here.

This guy's so rich. It's insane. Yeah. He invented or pioneered whatever you want to say. Pioneer certain tactics of open heart surgery. So he obviously was there helping. So, but what he told my mom is it's not, like right now the cyst is not big enough to affect anything, but we don't know if it's just going to grow with him. We're assuming it is.

So me four and a half, it's fine. But if I'm 18 and it wasn't caught, it might just like start fucking around with his heart, like the like, you know, get him a heart like out of rhythm. that type of stuff. What was it from? Do they... They don't know. I was just born with it. What's it called again?

Like just a big cyst. Just a cyst. Behind your heart. Yeah, I have a massive scar right here. Oh, it's across your back and side. Yeah, they didn't go here. That's what I was thinking they went. Yeah, they went here because it was like, it was more, whatever, closer to the, to this than going in there.

But also like four and a half, I guess like, you don't remember the pain these days or anything, do you? No, no, I don't. Were you stapled up or what were you? I was staped. No, I was stitched, I think. But yeah, the whole thing, I had like a feeding tube. What? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Like, I have a, like, a chest tube scar here. Oh, man. You're poor mom, because now, oh, you're four and a half five. Yeah. And then her next baby, you almost die. And then this one does. Yeah.

God damn. I mean, I don't, I'm telling my poor mom. And if you talked, shit, my mom, we talked about. I know what you're right. heart and shit but your poor mom. No, my poor mom. Fuck me. I was fine. I was blowing up balloons. I was good. I was getting bikes. Everything's great. And are you older than your sister? I'm younger. You're younger. Yeah. And she has any problems? No, she's great. So she has like, she has mental and emotional. Yeah. Yeah.

Look, that ain't scared. That's scary later. That's scary later. It's cute when you're young. God. Damn. So do you have any problems now or any issues? No, I'm good. Good to go. No, I'm good to go. But yeah, all that, man, all that. What's your mom's name? Eileen. Eileen. Yeah.

Shout out to you, Eileen. I mean, she's a fucking soldier. Dude, a soldier, bro. She's retired? Retired. And she's loving in it, too. Good. Good for her.

I hope she's finding it happening every day. She's drinking beer watching Yellowstone. She's living her fucking life, dude. He's living her life, man. Dude, I'm on the phone my mom. It's like 11 a.m. It's like, yeah, Michael, I did. I do understand.

saying, crap. I'm like, dude, knock them back. Fuck yeah. I'll watch every motherfucker die. Probably the ones that were vegan and healthy the whole way and everything. Yeah, yeah. Fuck yeah. Good, man. Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for doing this, dude. Of course, man. That's so much fun. Thanks, so awesome. Before I let you go, advice you give to 16-year-old Michael Blauestein. The advice I would give to 16-year-old Michael Blauestein is this is kind of corny. But it's really how I feel like everything is going to be okay. Because I have such a, I have such like everything's going to go to zero at every moment of mine, like just tons of anxiety all the time.

And it's because, you know, I think everything's going to go to zero. So I would love early on for someone to just be like, hey, I'm telling you right now, it's all going to work. Just keep working hard, but you're, it's, it's okay. Yeah. And I don't think anyone told young me that everything's going to be okay and I think I needed that a lot.

You needed to be asked how you're feeling. Yeah. And everything is going to be fine. Yeah, I'm telling you. Thank you. Thank you. Promote whatever you'd like, please. Blowcomedy.com for all the tour tickets

and every Wednesday of a podcast with Trevor Wallace called Stiff Sox, drops every Wednesday. Go check that out. And that is it. Thank you guys. Thank you, brother. Yeah, man. Thank you. As always, Ryan Sickler and all your social media, we'll talk to y'all next week.