The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - 400: Shapel Lacey Reunites With His Therapist After 15+ Years | The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler #400

Episode Date: August 24, 2026

SPONSORS: NOCD -If you’re struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started at https://learn.nocd.com/HONEYDEW ZocDoc -Taking care of your health just got easier – start here with Zocdoc: https://zocdoc.com/HONEYDEW #sponsored Hims -Sponsored by Hims. Visit hims.com/honeydew to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you The HoneyDew has officially reached 400 episodes and this one is a celebration of everything the show stands for! My guest is Shapel Lacey, who over the years and has talked about one of the most important people in his life, a mentor and therapist named Chip Chilton. Through an amazing fan of The HoneyDew, Chip reached out to us. We passed his information along to Shapel, and after more than 15 years without seeing or speaking to each other, Shapel and Chip reconnected. Now, for our 400th episode, they’re sitting down together for an incredible full-circle conversation. We talk about childhood, abuse, trauma, anger, confusion, love, mental health, therapy, and what it’s like trying to make sense of life when no one ever gave you the tools to understand it.  We talk about finding comedy and humor in trauma and darkness, the healing power of music, learning how to communicate as men, and accepting that no matter how far you’ve come, you’re still a work in progress. Most importantly, we talk openly about men’s mental health and therapy and why asking for help, talking about your feelings, and working on yourself doesn’t make you weak. This episode is everything The HoneyDew has always been about - Highlighting the Lowlights and finding the humor in the darkest parts of life, and it doesn’t happen without you! I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate 400 episodes of The Dew. Thank you to every guest who’s trusted us with your story and thank every one of you who’s watched, listened, shared an episode, or supported this show over the years. This one’s for you too!  Here’s to 400 more! 🎟️See me live. All tickets at www.ryansickler.com/tour 🎤Check out my new standup special “Live & Alive” streaming on my YouTube now! http://youtu.be/PMGWVyM2NJo?si=SrhXjgzR1pe6CyYE 👉 Subscribe for more standup and new episodes of The HoneyDew, The Wayback, and more! http://youtube.com/@rsickler ✅ Subscribe to my Patreon “The HoneyDew with Y’all”! Get The HoneyDew audio and video a day early, ad-free, for just $5/month! Want more? Upgrade to the $8/month premium tier and get everything above plus The Wayback a day early, ad-free, censor-free, and exclusive bonus content you won’t find anywhere else! http://patreon.com/RyanSickler 📧What’s your story?? Submit at [e-mail] 👕Get Your Merch👕 http://www.bonfire.com/store/ryansickler/ 🎧 Listen to my Podcasts 🎧 The HoneyDew - http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-honeydew-with-ryan-sickler/id527446250 The Wayback - http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-wayback-with-ryan-sickler/id1721601479 Patreon - http://www.patreon.com/ryansickler 📣 Follow Me📣 ▪ Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/ryansickler/ ▪ TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/@ryan.sickler ▪ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/RyanSicklerOfficial 🕸️ryansickler.com/ 🍈thehoneydewpodcast.com/ 🦀Subscribe to The CrabFeast Podcast🦀 http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crabfeast-with-ryan-sickler-and-jay-larson/id1452403187 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get your tickets now at Ryan Sickler.com. What's up, guys? I just first want to say thank you. This is episode 400 of the Honeydew, which is insane to me. This catalog has surpassed the crab feast. I mean, we've been doing this thing for years now, and you guys have been there since day one. So thank you very much. January of 2019 is when we started this podcast.

We're coming up on 400 episodes. We've heard some crazy stories. We've heard some beautiful stories. We've heard everything. One of my favorite things that's come out of this podcast, and there are many, is the Chappelle Lacey story, where he talked about this man, Chip, who really changed. the course of his life. And through that episode, one of you guys reached out, got a hold of Chip. And then Chappelle and Chip reconnected. And recently, Chip went to a stand-up show of Chappelle's in, I believe it was Dallas. And they got a picture together and Chappelle sent it to

me. And I said, you know what? I'm invested in this fucking story. What if we do a honeydew where Chip is our guest? Chappelle, me, and Chip. Would you please see if he's interested. And lucky for us, Chip was, and so is Chappelle. So this episode is the first episode we've ever done like this at all. It's such a great episode for our 400th episode, because it really is what this show is all about. You're seeing something that started here come full circle. And it's such a beautiful moment. I absolutely love it for not only Chappelle and Chip, but for me, for Kirsten, for all of us, you guys as well. It's pretty awesome. So I'm very excited to have our guest this week, Chappelle Lacey and Chip Chilton.

Thank you guys for your support. And I truly, truly hope you enjoy this episode. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Nightpan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. This is a very special episode. We've never done anything like this.

I'm super excited to do this episode. We're diving right into them, not even nothing else. You know what we do here. I always say we highlight the low lights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. Well, I am very excited to have this guest today. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome. Chappelle Lacey.

Yeah. How about you do Shepal Lacey. It's like my 18th time. Welcome back again. Before we get in anything, you know what to do, promote anything and everything you'd like right there, please. Ooh, I can even remember my tour dates. Where can they find all of them?

At shrapellacey.com. There you go. Thingschrapalacet.com. Social. Social. Chapalaci. All that's tough. All right.

So as you mentioned, this is your, who knows what episode. I know, right? But in your episodes, you have talked about anger management. You talked about basically this man who really changed your life and altered the whole direction of everything that you could have gone the other way. 1,000%. And his name was Chip Chilton. Chip Chilton.

Chip Chilton. Right. Yeah. And. over the time from that episode, first just mentioning Chip, there was a connection. And then later, he came to a show. And you texted me a picture of you guys and said he came to the show.

And I said, I'm invested in this bucket story, guys. This was us. After 14, 15 years. It was us. Yeah, something like that. And I said, would you reach out the chip and see if he'd be open to, coming on the honeydew with us and telling, you know, his side of the story, introducing himself and all that, and he agreed.

Yes. And I'm very excited to have this guest here first time on to Honeydew, ladies and gentlemen, Chip Chil. Welcome to the Honeydewood, Chip Chilton. This is crazy. How are you doing, buddy? I'm doing great. How are you?

I'm great, man. I can't thank you enough. for first of all helping this young man and secondly for doing this. Both an honor and a pleasure. Well, before we get into it, is there anything you would actually like to promote? No. All right. Chip, how young are you, Chip?

Old. Can I guess? About 75. About a little younger. A little 73? Yeah. My man. All right. It was the must-dack. Still I'm still riding my bike every day, you know, and this man rides his bike. You do. Yeah, real long distances. Yeah, there's a long distance.

So before we get into it, I'm seeing now, but we had your reframe up there, but over your right shoulder back there on that file cabinet is a James Brown. He's my step-bed. He is? Let me ask you this. How tall do you think James Brown was? Would you say he was five, or would you say he was five, or would you? would you say he was six three? I know this firsthand because as a kid at six years old, I got to throw his cape on his back. Bullshit! No, at one of his shows.

Do you know that? I didn't know that. Come on. Are you fucking one. A little club in Fort Worth before he was well known. Macy O. Parker, we were there with, at the time, a maid that raised my brother and myself. And we went to this club because she wasn't going to miss James Brown. and Macy O Parker let me throw James Brown's cape on him.

You know, and the gig was he would jump up and the cake would fly off and Macy O'Parker would catch it. Wow. And you threw it on him when he was down there. I used to watch Eddie Murphy make fun of him at the hot tub and do that. And they kept coming out, they kept coming out. He kept throwing it off. They'd come out again.

Yeah. How old were you? How old were you? Six. Six. And would you say you were the same height as James Brown at that time? No. No, no, no, no.

I was like... How tall do you think James Brown was? Probably 5-8, 5-9 somewhere in there. Oh, really? Closer to 5-6. 5 is what's not going. Yeah, people love... We argue.

Tom Seagore and I have a whole sketch about how he thinks James Brown was six. Yeah, let's see it, Chip. Get that damn thing down there. Oh, wow. Oh, shit, that young James right there, too, yeah. Hardest working man of Chauvin. No doubt. Wow.

And you're obviously, you're a deadhead back. I see peevee's legs, a huge peevee fan. You're a deadhead as well. So are you a music guy? All lifelong. He's a music guy. I used to work for him. What do you mean?

What'd you do? I played softball for him. I was the shortstop when they toured Texas. Wow. What do you mean? You were the shortstop for the Grateful Dead softball team when they were in Texas? Yeah. Yeah.

When they toured Texas. How did that come about? How do you get that gig? I saw him. I was writing for a magazine called Performance. And I was talking with some of their roadies. They played at Armadilla the evening before Thanksgiving. And on Thanksgiving Day, Armadilla always had Armadillo World Headquarters in Austin,

always had a big softball game. And I played shortstop for the Grateful Dead then, and they said, come with us to Dallas. So that's what I did. Listen, first of all. I didn't even know the Grateful Dead had a motherfucking fucking softball. team. They also have enough, they got enough band members. That's smart. That's smart and fun. You got to do something, right? Were they good? Were they good? Yeah. Were you nervous? Were you good at shortstop? I was really, I was really good at baseball. You were. But this was softball. So. That's fucking great. Who was the best player on the dead, would you say? Hands down, Bob Weir. No doubt. Defense and offense, best hitter and just best hitter.

Best fielder was his kid named Chip Chilton. He was a... In the sixth hole. In the sixth hole. All right, Chip, let's go all the way back for you. Where are you from originally? Tell me a little bit about your background.

Fort Worth, Texas, born and bred. Fort Worth tradition since 1953. I live in Tyler now. Married to the love of my life. Earl Campbell, home of Earl Campbell, to Tyler Rose, bro. Correct. Correct. Another UT ball player. I'm a family therapist. I was a college professor for about 15 years. And that's where I... What school? TBCC and at UT, Tyler.

Okay. And that's where I had the opportunity to meet Chappelle. Actually, I met the head of his cheerleading team first. And she said there's a kid. There's a kid. There's a kid I want you to talk with. Hold on a thing. That's hilarious. And she's like, hey, there's this angry-ass cheerleader we need you to talk to. What's her name, Chappelle? It's not a her, by the way.

They practiced in a rat hole. There was just this little hole in the wall that they had to crawl through to get into the practice. No, is that right? I mean, yeah, it was like this little, like, I don't know how to explain it. We called it the cheer cane. But yeah, like, you would have to like kind of like dig your way in. Not dig, but like, you had to, you had to duck down to get in there. I got a sidebar here real quick.

We had a wild podcast back in the day called the Crab Feast. And we had a guest. He's a comedian named Steve Cantwell who went on a wild salvia trip. He felt he was scared to smoke marijuana. He was a Mormon who was, you know, moving away from the church. And he wanted to try some things. and he, like the logic makes sense. He's like, well, Salvia's legal, marijuana is illegal.

So this must be like a practice week. So I'm going to smoke this before I try this, you know. And he went into an alternate universe for seven fucking years. And I got to ask you, Chip Chilton. Is there, excuse me, is there an apple orchard by any chance in Tyler, Texas? Not that I know. Okay, because that's where he worked. in this alternate universe.

It was a, and he had a mink farm. That's right. Are there any mink farms down there by any chance? Not that I know. Those were his two jobs. All right, good. We'll go back. That's funny.

So the salvia was marijuana in training? That's what he felt like. That's what he felt like. But salvia, it should be the other way. That shit should be illegal. It is mind-altering. They're a horrible experience. Videos of people smoking it.

I remember Tosh Point O at one where the guy jumped out of fucking, he just lost his mind, broke through glass and like a two-story house. Yeah. It was nuts. That's bad. It's bad. Yeah. So, all right. What gets you into this business for what, what, where?

Let me ask you this way. Therapy. Yeah, like where does the caregiver in you come from? Is that from your parents? I mean, is that something that was, you know. Well, I mean, this is going to sound sacchar and sweet, but my parents had always instilled in me that everybody, regardless of what they've done in their lives, is entitled to their dignity. And for some reason, and I don't know why, Chappelle and I have discussed this, before I was a therapist, people had come up to me and asked me what to do with their lives. And why they pick me, I have no clue.

not you know that my life was some shining example which it wasn't so i went to graduate school uh masters and doctoral and and um got you know all the licenses and all that other stuff and uh then went to teach college but you i mean you can't my idea that everybody is do their basic dignity uh really helped me as a professor it really it's helped me as a therapist it's it's hard sometimes, you know, because within that dignity is a sense of forgiveness. And so it's a, it's hard sometimes, but it's a, I've been a therapist now for 30 years. I don't regret a single minute of it. Um, uh, too with the person sitting across the table from you. Um, and that's how I got into it. That, that, that sounds, so probably not very linear, but that's how I did, that's how it happened.

Yeah. Okay. Um, and then so, then someone comes to you as you were saying and says, hey, we'd like you to talk to this kid here. This is your introduction to each other. I climbed through this rat hole. Oh, wait, you went to see him. You are real with Chip. This is even better.

When I got through the rat hole, I looked around and you couldn't mistake Chappelle. He had a cheerleader in his hands like this. And he goes like this. And throws her so high that she touches the ceiling. I mean, it was like Johnny Knoxville or something. I mean, it was incredible.

I was very talented. Yeah, I said, when you're finished, you know, drop by some, he was already in my class. And I said, when you're finished, drop by sometime and let's chat. Simple is that? And do you remember your first, you got, Chip, we're losing your whole face. Do you want to tilt your camera down? some more so you can lean in and sit like that? Yeah.

Like get where you're comfortable and then we'll just... Everyone on this show has a low light that they've come to highlight, but there's a different kind of low light, one that most people never talk about. It's a thought that just shows up. It's something dark, disturbing, completely out of character. Does that disturbing thought I just had mean I'm secretly a violent, terrible person? And no matter what you do to try to shake it, it just keeps coming back. For millions of people, that thought isn't a sign of who they are,

can actually be OCD, and most of them never make the connection. Not the organizing stereotype. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted, intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character, along with mental or physical behaviors you feel driven to do to get relief. These thoughts can feel very real, which is what makes them so upsetting. But it doesn't have to be that way, because OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. OCD needs ERP or exposure and response prevent. which is proven to be the most effective treatment.

And that's where no CD comes in. NoCD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment, and it's covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. All their licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy and will help you learn to take the power away from intrusive thoughts in live face-to-face virtual sessions. They also provide support between sessions when you need it most, so you're never facing OCD alone.

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We still got the dead in the back. When's your next glasses appointment? Actually, you know what's funny, Chip? I was supposed to be next month, but the lady said, hey, your insurance doesn't renew until September 6th. I said, I'll see you on the 7. I'll see you on the 7. All right. So your first sit-down conversation, do you remember it? Well, yeah, it was, it actually wasn't a first sit-down conversation. It was like, I looked up and he was in one of my classes. Oh.

And this generation, I'm not going to use the V word, his whole presence. his whole, just the way he carries himself. I mean, he's the whole package, right? So he comes in and he sits down and he's got this smile. And there was something back here that I've learned to listen to. And it said, go shake his hand. And the first time we shook hands, I thought it was magic. I mean, I felt better there were like three days.

And no salary. You felt better. No, no salary. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, there was a certain, there was like an electricity. And, and, and, and, uh, it's been that in, and no different than what I felt when I saw him in Irving. I mean, the same thing. I mean, I mean, I mean, it only, it wasn't just a handshake. It was a hug. And it was, it was, um, it was a connection, what it was. You, it seems as if, you two sort of were plugged in at that moment. Yeah. I'd say so. Yeah. Yeah, it definitely was. Yeah. I hope he feels the same one. No, yeah, yeah. And we would shake hands every day. And even if he like was about to start the class, he'd go, oh, wait, I got to do something. And he walked over and shake my hand.

Hell yeah. Before he would start class. Real quick, sidebar now. I can't stop looking at the deadhead thing. Did you ever get any good shit from them? I mean, that's the dead. I see them all right there. What's the best drugs you ever got from, Chip? You're retired now, right? My only to still see clients. Well, then you know how to answer. Well, one time I drove Bob Weir to Dallas. I had a little sports car.

It was called an M.G. And he gave me some orange juice. And by the time we got to Dallas, it seemed like an awfully short trip. Oh, Jesus. Oh, great. Well, that's a true story. I believe everything you're saying. Yeah.

So you said, you just mentioned Irving. So we have Chip, or excuse me, we have Chappelle on. He tells us the story of how you guys met as well. And then, then how does it come to you the first time? Chappelle came, go ahead, please. there's a woman that I've never met, and I had no clue who she was that is texting me and saying, if you're Chip Chilton, there's a guy on a podcast right now saying really nice things about you. You must be a really good therapist. And, you know, I mean, as far as getting spoofed, I can always get spoofed like that.

You know, I mean, it's, I love, you know, stuff like that. But it was just a random lady from, or not, she probably doesn't think of herself as random, but, but it was a random text from a lady, I believe, in Michigan that was watching your, watching the show and profoundly moved by Chappelle's story. And she got in touch with me and. Young lady in Michigan. Whoever you are, please, if you see this. I think she was a professor as a matter of fact. Please.

If you see this, please announce yourself. Please. yourself to us as well. Thank you very much. So it floats to you and you're like, I don't, and then boom, what, do you then go watch the episode? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And when I wipe my eyes and stuff and I can see again, I try to get in touch with him. And how long it had been since you guys had been in touch from, you know, the last time you actually were to you getting these texts from this late years. Oh, nine. Oh, nine. Oh, way too long or something like double digit years we're talking here yeah yeah what was what time

that we do this episode during the pandemic probably 2020 ish maybe maybe somewhere in there maybe maybe a little after no because uh man maybe a little after but i just remember yeah it had been like you know like maybe like 15 years wow but i remember the thing that uh got me is when i guess chip had reached out to make maybe your representation or something like that. Yeah, yeah. And then you sent me like an attachment and you were like, I think you want to listen to this.

And it was, and it was his voice. You said, that's right, you sent the message. That's right. It was a voicemail. Yeah. And you shared it with me. And I remember I just got off stage in San Jose. Yeah, I just got off stage in San Jose.

And I was like, no way. I was like, I haven't heard that voice in years. It was crazy. And so then, excuse me, from that point, you two stay in touch. So then I called, yeah, I called him because in the voicemail, Chip had left his number. And I just, I just hit him up. And it was funny. The first thing he said was, you know, we just started, it literally felt like we, like he said, you said this, Chip.

It literally felt like it had not been 15 years. That's what real friendship is. That's what real friendship is when you pick right. up where you left off. He brought up Rollins because he knows I love Henry Robbins. He brought up Rollins. Good memory. Good memory.

I think then we started trading. I started sending him jazz, Miles Davis. Yeah, because I just started some seminal jazz. Yeah. And he sent me a book that is a beautiful book. It's called The Courage to Be Disliked by Japanese author. I forget the name. But yeah, because he was just like, how are you doing it?

You know, he was like in Hollywood. You're doing this thing and all this stuff. And I was like, yeah, you know. And then he sent me that book. He goes, read this book while you're out there. And I was like, okay. I read the book. And it was like the perfect book for me to read while being like in this environment.

Hell yeah. Yeah. And then you go to Irving to see him. Yeah, this was back in. It sold out show. Yeah, back in, uh, who was that? No, not that long ago. A couple months ago, right?

Yeah, literally a couple months ago. We got there, a friend of mine, Tucker, a guy used to work at the feed store, and he's a guitar player. Of course. You got a buddy named Tucker that worked at the feed store. He's got long hair. He's got long hair. Yeah, he worked at the feed store.

He was the DH for the Graveldeads all, Baltimore. I went to buy some chicken food, and I've got a Grateful Dead sticker on the back of my car. the skull and lightning bolt. And Tucker asked the wrong question. He said, hey, what do you know about the Grateful Dead? And my wife just started moaning. Here comes the shortstop story. I think she packed a lunch that day.

Tucker and I made instant friends. And I asked Tucker if he wanted to go see Chappelle. And we got there about two hours early. And the beauty of it was we found a parking spot right. by the building, you know, it was like it was all designed for us to be there, made friends with the folks at the bar, because we were coming to see Chappelle, and I told him I had been his psychology teacher, they gave us free nachos. I didn't know they did that.

And they gave us free beers. Their beers were this tall. Oh, hell yeah. This is a comedy club beer. You know, it was, it was, it was delightful. It was, it was just an incredible experience. And, and, and, and it was funny. how the club set it up to be a really good experience.

And he sold out four shows. My man. He was one of three people. It's called the punchline and they have these dumbbells that boxers lift on the wall. Chappelle got to sign one of those dumbbells because you can only sign one if you sold out your shows. Yeah. That's awesome, dude. Yeah, because it's newer.

So I think it's only been like me, Leslie Jones, Dave Chappelle and another person. Damn. That have, like, sold out the room. So is that your first time seeing him physically also since this? Oh, yeah. Physically, yeah. Yeah. So from that 15 years ago when you're like, all right, good luck to you out there.

Yeah. Well, I don't even know. It's just kind of like, I don't know. I don't even know how like it came apart. But I think I just, I think I was at like a weird moment in my life where I kind of just like went rogue from the world. Kind of went like, you know. I was just like kind of just veered off, you know, and just didn't know. I don't know.

I feel like I was just still kind of like lost in the world or whatever. And so I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing. And I just kind of like veered off. And then. And so I lost, I lost contact. And then I went, I went psycho mode. And I started calling the school, but he wasn't working at the school anymore. I said, I need his information.

They're like, sir, we cannot give you. We don't know who you are. Right. Yeah. I used to cheer there. Go look on the, on the day. wall, I swear, you know. And so I was trying to find them for years.

And then when I talked about it on the podcast, you know, yeah, trying to find them for years. And, you know. So your first time seeing each other is when you're performing at a sold out fucking comedy show. I mean, what does that feel like for you? Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research.

Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. Oh, my gosh, it was more than a homecoming. I mean, it was a reunion. It was, it was, it was, it was, it's that piece of energy my life had been missing. Wow. I mean, it was crazy. It was crazy.

Do you have kids, Chip? Do you have children? No. I'm right here, man. I got 12 dogs. 12 dogs? Yeah. We got a two bedroom apartment, so we got plenty of women.

12. No, we got a fucking dogs. Chip's a collector, man. Clearly. He's got, clearly. Clearly. Clearly. It was, I had on this shirt that night.

I don't take change really well. And I had on a shirt that was like this, only it was blue and white. And it was really, really big. And I didn't realize how much it had dwarfed me. So I looked like Mr. Williams off of, you know, The Simpsons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some guy in the comment said, that's not Chip Shilton. That's Terry Bradshaw.

Good, man. Terry don't have that stash, bro. No, you don't have a stash. Terry doesn't have that stash. No, man. So, all right, let's go back again when you do finally start working with Chappelle. What are you, what were the biggest things that stood out that you knew he needed help with? Obviously, anger.

But, you know, are you trying to find out where that comes from? and, you know, what are you noticing and seeing? Well, when I went to graduate school, for all six years of it, they, they did. It was. In Texas Woman's University, I'm not now nor have I ever been a woman. TWU? You went to TWU. Yeah.

What was the mascot at TWU? They gave you all, they taught you all these sexy theories, you know, that this is what's going on. If a person acts like that, this is what's going on. You know, so you should dig deeper here. You should dig deeper there. I got to a point in my career where most, when I see my clients, the most important question to me is, what do you want? You know, why are you here?

And Chappelle was one of those people that sort of taught me that. I never had any preconceived idea about anything he needed. We meshed so well. And the bridge was music that, you know, that. everything that flowed from me to him and him to me, uh, I felt like was genuine and something he wanted to talk about and it was useful. Yeah.

I'm not going to tell you. I mean, I can't lie to you. When I got the phone call that we're going to go fix this, uh, my brother and I are, you know, putting on some usher and heading over to,

you know, my stepdad's house, uh, it scared the hell out of me. I mean, it, can I say the S word here. You can say whatever the fuck you want to.

Well, what. Okay, okay, I'm just making sure You know that it's So I can speak French here, that's great It scared the shit out of me I mean, it really did, I panicked I mean, I felt a full adrenaline dump

Why? What was your concern? So real quick. Did he ruin his life? So the story he's telling quickly, you and your brother Yeah, are going to see My stepdad. Your stepdad.

And why? Just remind us why. Well, because he was, you know, he was such this, like, he was just, he was just a piece of shit. So you're going to confront him. Yeah. Not to. I wouldn't say confront as much as I say beat his ass.

Okay. This isn't a, hey, let's go work this out. Hey, I need to talk to you. We're going to sit down like, man, no. It wasn't that. No, we're about to go jump. Okay. Like straight up.

I see. So this isn't like, let's go make peace. Especially because we realize he's, he's like. Five-five. Let's make peace. He's James Brown. He's James Brown-type for Christ's sake. I was like, oh, this James Brown-sized character.

And where are you, Chip, and what I mean that is in proximity? There's no, like, you're not close enough where you could drive and stop this. He's in Arizona and I'm in Tyler. Yeah, yeah. No, that would have been, because I'd have driven. Yeah, I believe. And I would, I mean, I'd have done anything I had to. So you called him and told him you're going to do this.

Yeah, because I, you know, I don't know. I just felt like, um, He had helped me so much. And I was just like, and I think I thought at a point in my life, I was like, I'm not, I don't think I'm a person that's worth of like being like, you know, thinking rationally or whatever, or, you know, just being a good person. I was just like, I don't think that's my life. And so I was like, I have to do this.

You know, like, it was just like one of those things that me and my brother, like, we, we, we fed off each other, you know, RIP to my brother, but like, we've fed off each other's, like, energy, you know. know a lot. So if it was like go time, it's like, yeah, that's what it is. It's go time. Let's go do it. You know what I mean? And so I just, I just, I think with the call to Chip was just out of respect for someone that I had highly respected. And I was just like, I'm sorry, bro, I got to let you know this, but this is what this is, you know, almost like, thank you for everything. But this is what I got to go do. This one ain't on you. This one ain't on you. This one ain't on you. But yeah, yeah, this one is

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, this ain't on YouTube. But he said something very unique, and I heard this before. He said something. Wait, real quick. Do you remember what you said? Do you know what he's about to say? Yeah, I do.

Because it's true. Yeah. He said, you know, he said, he said, if you calm down, your brother's going to calm down. Right? Because he, like, and he didn't even know my brother. But he just knew. I don't know, I guess he could just read the situation. And it was crazy that he said that because I remember one time me and my brother, we got

to fight with the teachers back in school. He threw a trash can at them. Yeah, that's neither here. There are there. But, yeah. And I remember, and it was all because of me because I was like about to fight this kid, you know. And so my brother saw these teachers like trying to like grab me.

So he threw a trash can at them. He started like going crazy and I'm still going crazy. And then our principal, he was a buff guy. And he was just like, he like grabbed me like by my shoulders to like, he was like, hey man, I don't want to hurt you. He goes, if you calm down, your brother's going to calm down. And he said that exact same thing. You know, it's hitting me now as a 53 year old man.

Like that's how we rolled too. Like if my brother was fighting, I'm fighting. Like there was a, he got jumped out. So I was watching mine and my business. We just talked about this. I saw him two days ago. He goes, you remember that fight? I go, yeah, I remember that fight.

I'm out, I'm sitting mind of my business. This was 1996. The Orioles are good. I'm watching the Orioles here. Okay, let's go. They're playing pool over here. And this guy keeps running his fucking mouth to my brother, keeps running his mouth.

And my brother chokes on an easy eight ball. Uh-huh. And the guy says something about, oh, you missed it. And the dude kept putting his beer bottle on the edge of the table the whole time. My brother just made eye contact with him. took a stick, knocked his beer off and said, didn't miss that one. Ooh. And then that becomes they go outside.

They go outside. My brother gets jumped. So someone runs in as like, Ryan, your brother's getting jumped. And I'm like, God damn. You know what I mean? But I got to go. You got to go. And it ends up just being me and him, no shit like against eight guys.

I promise you, he got to hit a sucker to the side of the head. My knuckles were bloody. Really? Well, we whooped ass. Yeah. He woke this. But going back to the message, if you, if somebody would have said, if you calm down, he'll calm down in other situations. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Because he was like, no, we're going. And I was like, no, we're fucking this guy up. We're fucking this guy up. Yeah. And it was just crazy to hear him say that. And remembering like when we were kids and we were getting in a fight with those teachers.

But you went over anyway. But no, we did. You did it. No, I stopped. You did. He got me to stop. Okay. We did, we did not, we did not go over there.

I know. If I forget the story. No, no, no, yeah. And I think me and my brother had just had a conversation. I said, I just said, though, I said, we ain't got to do this. Something along those lines. Something that just like, he's like, you sure? I thought we shouldn't.

I was like, what is, you know, let's just not do it. All right. You know, let's chill. Let's relax. It's chill. Let's calm down. You know, we'll let this all, like, play out. And eventually our mom,

left our stepdad, you know, shortly after that. So, like, you know, it did play out where it needed to be. But like, yeah, it was just like, and I don't even, when I think about it, I don't even know if we were going to protect our mom as much as we were just going to fuck up a dude that just, we felt ruined our life, you know? And there's one thing that there was a beautiful thing about Chip is he never let me, whenever we talked about my stepdad, he never let me talk bad about him.

Because it wasn't the focal point. Why? Why not, Chip? I wasn't going to let Chappelle give him that power. Okay. I'm asking because of myself, I'm like, I wonder would it be an outlet just to let him spit these things out about this asshole? But you're saying any time wasted on that is given that man power. So it's precisely time wasted.

Yeah. Yeah. And when I heard that, it was such a different approach to what I was already doing and this other approach was getting me nowhere so to not talk bad about him and kind of like two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help

Create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. To focus on me and let myself move forward. Because when I was with Chip, you know, like I wasn't living with my stepdad. He was, you know, out of my life, but I still had this like rage about him. You know what I mean?

And I think when he was just like, like I think there was already understanding of what he did. You know, correct me for a wrong trick. But I think what Chip got me to understand is like, we already know what he did. We know what happened. We know what he did. But here's what we're going to do now.

Because that's what I wasn't working on. I wasn't working on what I was going to do now as much as I was like. Stuck in the past about what this motherfucker did. Yes. Exactly. I spent a lot of time in that anger too. Yeah. So then Chip.

Hey, there's some fun time sitting in it. Listen, I definitely enjoyed some of my angry moments. I ain't all right. I'm throwing some punches for sure. I mean, Chip, you know, also another beautiful thing about Chip, there are many of things is like he never gave me answers. He just made me go search for it. Yeah.

Big time. And I don't know if he just understand. I'm someone that just like, okay, I'm going to go to her and seek it. But like never gave me an answer. He would ask a question and I would go find it. So Chip, back to you here for a sec, when your last time seeing Chappelle. Are you seeing him pop up? Are you on social media or apps?

Are you seeing him pop up anywhere? You're like, oh, my God, that's Chappelle. Are you seeing him on TV or anywhere out there at all? Over the 12 years that I taught, and this may seem like a roundabout answer to the question, but this is, Tyler's a small town, Athens is a small town, and all the towns in between. So the chances of me running into one of my former students are pretty good. Um, we, my, my, my, Mucky and I were out to dinner, uh, one night. And, um, uh, one of my former students came up to the table. And she said, uh, did you know that Chappelle is a famous comedian? And I went, no. I, I, I immediately came home and, uh, got on YouTube. And there was Chappelle. And that's how I found out. But it was a, it was a, it was a former student. it reminded me,

didn't remind me because I'll never forget him, but that told me. Wow. And then so you sort of start following along. Yeah. And then you get hit up by an awesome lady from our show. And then you follow through with it too. That's the other thing.

That's the other thing. You follow through with it. You could have just been like, nah. No, not with Chappelle. It gets deeper than that. During the time, working with Chappelle, what would you say was, you know, the biggest challenge? That's a good question.

That's a really good question. That's a great question. Yeah. Thank you, guys. See, that's what you do. Let's get him his doctorate in the, thank you guys. Let's send it to the TWU.

I have a podcast degree. Yeah, yeah. I, you know, um, um, it was no challenge to get. to know him. It was no challenge talking with them. I guess if there was a challenge and there has to be one, it was my tiny little prayer that Chappelle was getting something, you know, that something lasting, you know, something that is written in family therapy lore. I hoped that I was the difference that made the difference in his life. I mean, that this obviously, you are, definitely that. It is clear here that you're that. And I just, you know what, I'm so grateful

that he had you because my super quick story, my mother leaves our family early. My dad's a single dad. I have two brothers. He dies when I'm 16. And then my mother doesn't come back. She just stays away. And we just raise ourselves and we move on. And I couldn't have been a more angry motherfucker chip because all the good ones kept dying in the family. Then we move in with our grandmother, my dad's mom. She drops dead in front of us. Now we're fucking homeless. And anger, anger, anger.

However, I'm imagining there are angry people like Chappelle and myself who will sit down with someone and just fucking diarrhea it all out. We'll tell you everything that's fucking going on versus an angry person who may very well not open up at all. And then you really got to figure out what's going to. on with that, right? So when you have men like us who, look, I'm going to go over there a night and fuck this guy up, but here's everything else that's going on and bother me and the shit I'm thinking and what's going on. How is it to work with someone like that? Do you find that you're able to, you know, get your message through to people like us who will at least be open about our fucking anger versus someone who's not? And when do you see the progress?

I'll answer your question with a brief story. Monkey and I were in Longview and at a Walgreens. And we'd gone to see the psychiatrist that I use for my practice in case I need a prescription and I don't usually, but we happen to be there that day. There was a woman in three kids in front of us. And I was talking to Monkey. Monkey was talking to me and we weren't really paying attention to the people in line. and the woman, the oldest woman in this group, the mom, sort of inserted herself between me and Monkey.

And she looked at Monkey and she said, is that your husband? And Monkey said, yeah. And she said, you need to know that he saved my life and he saved the life of this family. About you? Yeah. Yeah. And I, you know, I didn't. I was working in an emergency facility as the intake coordinator.

And Mikey said, well, what did he do? And she said, well, I was picked up by the Longview Police because I was suicidal and I was going to kill myself because my life had amounted to what I felt like was not. And I was actively going to do it when she had, she tied some vine around her neck and the vine broke. And the Longview Police saw her, they brought her into our facility. and I think I said something to her life, you need some stronger vine or something. My buddy's got a feed store.

We can get you some good rope up there, you know. Talk to Tucker. We, she looked at Munkin, she said, when he made me laugh, she said, all of a sudden I was instantly not suicidal because she said he accepted me as I am. am. And I think that when you talk with people like people that you're talking about,

that I accept them like they are. You know, and, you know, what do we need to work out and what do we need to move on? And you listen. And whatever their story is, their story is, and every bit of it's important. But, no, no, but every bit of it's important, then you just, you're just, sometimes you're actively doing stuff in people's lives. Sometimes you're just listening. Does that translate? Yes. Yeah. What I think about it for me, like it was like, I think prior to like Chip, I was very guarded. Like it all, and I think it's because I didn't understand what was going on in my life. You know what I mean? Like that was the biggest thing. So when I, when I was able to say,

I don't like this. I hate this. I hated this. I don't like this person. And, and I think when I was able to like kind of like let that out a little bit like all of a sudden like you know the they just felt like the weight off the shoulders and just you know being able to like let these like thoughts out because yeah like initially yeah like I had to let him know what what it was and then I think he was just able to dissect and like you know or just not even dissect as much as it's just like yeah man yeah that's that's that's a real that's the thing that chip made me realize is that you're not crazy for feeling these feelings, considering everything that you're going through. I didn't feel dehumanized.

Right. And also, he's listening. Finally, to have someone listen. Because when you're in the throes of it, often it's like, listen, you don't have time to bitch about it. We're moving. We're doing it. You're just going and doing it. No one's listening to you.

It's just like, nope, adapt to this shit and figure it to fuck out. And that's what at the end, like, you know, it was the first time I, you know, didn't feel like dehumanized. And I felt like I was like, I felt like a person. Yeah. You know, I've always been kind of like a lone wolf that's just kind of like organic, but not like in a sad way. It's just, you know, just, you know, a lot of people didn't like a lot of the interest that I liked or whatever.

And that's why my brother was cool. Like, he didn't like the shit I like, but he was just like, that's tight. You know, like, oh, yeah. Supportive. That's your world. You know what I mean? Like he was always cool like that, you know. But, you know, I think there's this thing.

I think with just people in general, like, you know, we're easy to make each other like we're easy to dehumanize each other like this for oh you know and just write a person off and a lot of times yeah we don't know what a person is going through because like he didn't he didn't know like he just saw me happy in his class you know what I mean so like well he's seen you for an hour a day yeah yeah he's seen me for an hour a day but but that hour I'm like cool you know chilling in his class and you know all that stuff or whatever honestly the only teacher I didn't like act you know only class I didn't really act out in but you know well that's what this show is all about chip my whole point of creating this show was because that

hour is Instagram it's social media yeah the other 23 fucking hours what's really going on in your fucking life I'm tired of seeing your highlights I want to highlight your low lights yeah yeah and the other thing I'm hearing and seeing and appreciating is that you obviously deal with mental health with humor. And that is also what this show is about. Like, I firmly believe you need to sit in your shit. You need to understand what's going on.

And I do believe in crying and, you know, feeling all the feelings and emotions. But at some point, you got to fucking get yourself up and move forward. And I've always done that with humor. That's what this whole show is, is, you know, we're not,

certainly I tell people like, you know, we would never laugh at your cancer. No, but if there's a funny, moment through there where you're like, I can't believe this shit's going on. That's what we want to find light in that darkness. Yeah. And that's, I can tell the way you work and deal with it.

Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It was the first, yeah, like I said it was the first time, like someone was just like when Chip was like, yeah, that's real. He's telling her, like, you need, but you need strong revine. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to borrow that from you. You got to sit in your shit. You got to sit in your shit.

Or I'm going to stomp your chest. Yeah. Yeah, which is why I got it. Yeah. Y'all may not have noticed it, but you pointed at him as he pointed at me. Yeah, I did. I got to say, too, Chip, I'm proud of this show because I've had people reach out that have told me their professors in college and that this show is something they've recommended listening to and things like that. And I even, you know, I've gone to therapy forever.

I've done EMDR. I've done talk therapy. I've done all that just to try to fucking, you know, make some rhyme and reason of why anybody would do these things, especially to kids, abandon, abuse, all of them. You know what I mean. So, and then to pour it into comedy that helps make other people feel better is fucking awesome. I love. I love what. and his men too.

I love it because we are definitely some angry motherfuckers. I do have to say something. I don't even know if Chip knows this. I actually have a very chill relationship with my stepdad. You do? Oh, you guys said. Did you know that? No, I don't think you knew that.

I did not. How about that? Because I mean, that was more so recent. But anyways. You should tell him thank this motherfucker. It was just like, you know, there was, you know, like it's crazy that we're talking about this. man this is so crazy um the you know the chip saying how he takes people as they are

that's what i did with my stepdad and then and then taking him as he is and then when i learned about his past and what he went through and i was like oh damn he never got what i got he didn't get the luxury of the you know being able to have a conversation um he didn't get to know his dad his family would never tell him who his dad was and stuff like that so i was like oh this is Like, I mean, yeah, there's, there was something that that was like, you know, taking him out of it that didn't let his brain, you know, process love and all this stuff. So when I think about it, I go, oh, okay, you know, I was like, you know, and trust me, I hate, if there's one person I hated in my life, like, it was that man. But, no, we talk. I mean, we text each other on each other's birthdays. I say happy Father's Day to him.

And, you know, I don't know if he's heard the jokes about him that I said, yeah. those are hilarious he gets he gets out of jail and he comes home and oh that's the biological dad I forgot I got three dads he gets out of jail

and he comes home and he looks at Chappelle and everybody goes hey I got a new car and their reaction is oh shit he's going back to jail that's my biological dad he stole that car I was like damn he stole that car

man. He was sure sold that car. But yeah, it's cool to like, um, to like have that. Like now I don't, I don't, I don't really carry this like, um, energy about him that I thought I would, I mean, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I never thought I'd see the day that I'd be like, bro, you know, happy father's day to this, to this man. But it's, it's, it's chill, you know, and, and, and, you know, and I don't know, because I don't see him because I don't live in Arizona, but like, I don't know him and my mom are not together, but, you know, but, but, I have half siblings that are his kids. And so like those are my, those are my, you know, those who I grew up with.

Those are my, to me, they're full, you know. But, you know, just like, I don't know what's going on in his world. But at least, you know, I don't know who's being nice to him and who's not being nice to him. But I'm like, hey, here's that, you know. And I don't know what he feels from that. Maybe, you know, he may feel nothing or he may feel something. But at least it's just like, you know, it costs me nothing to like throw that out there to him. Yeah.

I mean, I hated my mother for a long time. My mother was physically, mentally, emotionally abusive, cheated on my dad, split from the family. When, you know, we're from Maryland. So it took a while for the courts. You've got to be divorced or separated for a full year because a lot of people, a lot of people reconsider. So you got to be, unless you can prove infidelity, then you can get one right away. But you got to separate it for a year. Then you get a divorce.

And by that time all the court shit, 16, they're going to court. My mother goes to court and she says, she's got three kids. I want my youngest. I'm a twin, but he's four minutes older. I want Derek, if he wants to come. I do not want Ryan. Openly in court says, I don't want this kid. And the judge was a female.

And she said, a woman, excuse me. And she said, in all my years of family court, I've never heard a mother say that. And as a mother, no offense, if you're still around, lady, thank you so much, possibly grandma. She was disturbed. And in 1989, Chip, that lady, that judge, your honor, awarded my father full custody and made my mom pay child support. Oh, damn. And made my mom pay child support. Unfortunately, two months later, he died.

Unfortunately. My mother was nothing but consistent. She still stayed away. She consistently stayed away. And we raised ourselves. We went to school. We're on a roll kids. We're playing sports because that's what mattered.

If we didn't go to school, we couldn't play sports. Sports saved us. It kept us off the streets, all that. So I had hate for so long. Use the word, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. And as I got older, and I don't, I'm wrong so much. but for me, my computer, the way I processed it was I started thinking about love and hate. It seemed to me that hate was the opposite of love.

And love, true love, is a lot of time, a lot of energy, a lot of consumption. And if hate is the opposite of love, that's also on here, he's shaking his head, so we're going to hear it. But my logic was that's also a lot of time, energy, and consumption the other way. So why even, if I'm wrong, Chip, I'm wrong. Why even put that energy into anything but positivity? So I stopped to use. Even I'll try to catch myself these days and not say, I hate this. I try to get rid of that out of my fiber and my DNA.

But go ahead. You were shaking your head, please. You made me remind or remember something that Freud said. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. I just went through this with a kid last week. His girlfriend had dropped him and he said, I hate her and I'm never going to recover from this

because Lord knows there's only no more girls except this one, right? And she was playing that card in spades. I mean, he could call, she would talk to him. She was indifferent about the whole thing. At least with hate, there's a feeling. Oh, there was a There was a motherfucker feeling on my hand, I hated that bitch.

However, 35 years later, I don't talk to her, we don't see each other. Once, I mean, every blue moon at like a birthday party, I would,

she would go out and play horseshoes in the yard. Somebody would like, she's gone, then I'd go in and get my cake and shit. You know what I mean? I kept it respectful, kept it away, did not bring drama to my other,

You know, family members, didn't want to make it about me. No one could ever say every time they come. No. Every time they come. Every time they come, they're fist fighting. So I have a daughter when I'm 41. This would have been, and at the time, she's two, about to be two. I'm in Baltimore.

No, she just turned to. I'm in Baltimore on 1111, 2016. 1111 is huge for me. Right there, it's tattooed on my arm. Because that was my grandmother's address. 1111 Elm Road and I lived there. That was the lady that dropped dead in front of me that was like she was our mom. So it's a big deal. My brother's turning 40. His wife's like, hey, will you help me reach out to some of your friends and I may not? I was like, absolutely. And I already know

she's going to be there. I already know. And I already know this is my brother's surprise 40th. This ain't about me. And I'm sure I'm going to get hit up about, hey, because she hasn't even reached out. My daughter's two. Hasn't reached out nothing. So I get there and right away. Can I see pictures? I show her. She starts crying, screaming, that's your face, that's your face. And I'm like, stop, you know, then I start crying. I'm like, listen, this is his fucking birthday. So she said, can I get your number? And I said, I'll give you my email. Wow, Chip. I came out of this lady's vagina. I'm like, how about my email? And because you could Zoom or FaceTime from an email. I didn't want her to have my number. You know what I mean?

I'm trying to get rid of that visual. Me too, bro. That is what we're talking about. Eventually, she wants to come visit. And I'm in therapy. I'm like, you know, should I let my daughter have a relationship with her grandmother? I don't know. And also, like, it's, I know it sounds wild, but really in the end when they're adults,

it's going to be none of my fucking business. You know what I mean? if my daughter's in her 20s and wants to talk to her, if she's still around, that's their fucking business. You know what I mean? I'm not going to, but I'm also not going to hide anything. And I told her that. I said, if you want a relationship with your granddaughter, I'm not protecting you.

I'm not covering for you. If you hurt her, you're going to fucking hurt her. I'm not going to lie for you. And I said, by the way, I've been talking about this shit on podcast for years. For years. She, you have an opportunity to be a different person to her. than the mother she's going to hear about. And that's all on you.

So I've allowed it. It's different. It's, I'm 53 and I'm still learning. Is her heart in pretty good shape? Yeah. She's in her like late, I don't think she's about to be 80 maybe, but yeah, she's out there. She's a, she likes music too, Chip. She's a fucking groupie for a cover band in Delaware, bro.

I can connect you. Well, I got an injunction for you. I know what you can do. What's that? Call her one day and say, Mom, I just was thinking about it. I wanted to tell you I love you and hang the phone up. I just do that.

I can text that. Well, no, no. The voice. She'll never forget the voice. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. The voice. The voice.

Yeah, I mean, because at some point, it's got to be like in the cartoons. You know, well, he just told me he, love me? It's, you know, for her, I think she'd find that hard as well. No, I mean, we've said that. And there was a, there was, when she came out to visit, um, we went down to Legoland in San Diego. And she didn't bring anything up the whole time. And, you know, again, I'm, you know, the adult in the situation. And, um, I knew my daughter was going to be knocked the fuck out in the back seat on the ride from San Diego back to L.A.

Yeah. It's late at night. If traffic's cool, we got two hours. You got two hours. And you're in my fucking office now. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, you haven't said shit for two days. And there's no way you're getting out of here without bringing some shit up. And she's like, go ahead. She started bringing up. She said go ahead. She said go ahead. She brought up cheating on my dad, which I honestly wasn't even going to bring up. That was her own thing. But we went through everything. And she said to me, I heard you on a podcast. And I was like, I don't even know you knew what the fuck a podcast was. And she said, you were on there with a lady and you were saying these stories about me. And I'm hearing them. And I couldn't believe you were talking about me. And then she said, I heard another one and you were doing it on that one.

And she said, the reason I believed you is because what you said was identical. Nothing, nothing was different. like the way you remember from this show to this show the story was A to Z the same and she said that's when I realized you were telling the truth and I said okay

and she's like but I don't remember a lot I don't remember the abuse and I would ask her you don't remember this no you don't remember beating the shit out of me with a lunch box no you don't remember getting on top you had choking me and my brothers had to pull you up because my mom's six foot chip my mom's six foot six foot. And I'm the shortest one in the family, five, ten, bro. So she keeps hitting me with the

no, no, nos. I don't remember. I don't remember. And, you know, I'm the one going to therapy and shit all these years. Not this lady. You know, she's going to Bruno Mars and shit. I'm working on this shit, trying to even just put it all together about how, even if you hated your kids, even if that was it, right? Or you were indifferent to your kids. When their father dies, you think you'd step in and be like, all right, this is a two 16 year olds and a 13 year old. Maybe it's time for me to get my shit together and at least for three years help these motherfuckers. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, we don't come home to hugs. We don't come home to good job. We don't come home to food or how is your day. We just come to fuck home. Just come home. And she kept saying, I don't remember. And I was like, okay. And I saw what was going on.

said, do you remember going to court and telling the state of Maryland that you didn't want me? Wow. 16. And she said, yes. I said, okay, if you remember that and you didn't want me at 16, what the fuck makes you think things were good from zero to fucking 16? You can sit here and tell me you don't remember all the bullshit you don't want to, but clearly you hated my ass. And it's documented in court. And she said, I'll say this, Chip.

I'll go to a music reference. You can't always get what you want, right? But sometimes you get what the fuck you need. The lady said, I don't remember it, but I know you're telling the truth. I'm sorry. So I'm never going to get the immediate, like, we're not going to dial into the time I did this or that. But I get the, I don't, I don't believe your line. and I'm sorry. I got that. So I didn't get everything I wanted, but I truly got what I needed

out of that. And then we got home. Is your heart any lighter? Well, I've clotted twice since then, Chip, and almost died. So I found out since then also I have a genetic blood disease that no one else in the family has, which is what killed my dad. So I would have to say no. I'm actually going in for another heart test tomorrow where they put the die in, the angiogram. I got to go get that looked at. So no, my heart's not lighter. I'm going through some shit right now, Chip. But we got some more water here. But we got home and I wasn't done. You know, I'm a single dad. I'm living in my little single dad pad. I put my daughter to bed, her granddaughter. And I said, come on out on the balcony. We sat out on the balcony. And I probably smoked, I'm not kidding you, at least 12 joints right in this lady's fucking face. And just went through everything I remember. Chip, I walked this woman through every home we lived in. And she was just looking at me like, how do you fucking remember that? And I was like, let that be a lesson.

You don't remember ship, man, your kids remember every fucking thing. Everything. Everything. So, you know, I'm still a work in progress. And I don't hide it from my daughter about who she was as a mom. If a question's asked, I don't sugarcoat it. Yeah. I don't know.

Nothing. It's all honesty. So I told her. or you were a shitty mom. It's up to you, what kind of grandmother you want to be. That's a different role. It's a different role, you know. And look, not everyone's good at every role either.

We're often brothers, cousins, uncles, employers, employees. Like, nobody's batting a thousand in all their roles out there, you know. But the one most important one is if you wanted a fucking kid, be a good person. Be a good person. You don't even need to be a good parent. Yeah. Be a good person. Tell us about your parents, Chip.

Well, you know, it's funny. I mean, truth, right? Truth? Yeah, please. Chappelle and I actually have a lot in common because I was raised, my brother and I were raised by two African-American women. Do you know this?

I did not. Well, I mean, he was raised by two white parents, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we were, that's how I got to throw the cape on James Brown. Oh, okay. But my dad was a wing commander in the, well, my biological dad, they got divorced when I was 10. But my grandparents thought that the way that fixed their marriage troubles was to go on lots of trips.

So they went to Greece and all around the world and stuff. And the maid raised my brother and myself. my mother got remarried to a guy in the Air Force. He became a wing commander. He was a general in the Air Force. And so he moved around a lot. You know, you'd shake hands with people and say, hello, I must be going, because they knew you were going to be transferred in a year or so.

But it's, I loved every second of my life. I mean, every Ethelmay and Lollabel, the two women that raised us, taught us about music. they taught us about acceptance. They taught us about compassion and how privileged we were, you know, to have such sympathetic souls around us. So it's, it's a mom and I are reconciled it, you know, with, you know, highlights and low lights. But I lost her in, I lost her in 90, no, 2001 to liver cancer. lost my stepdad about 10 years ago

and to tying his shoelace. What do you mean? My brother went over to check on him and he was tying his shoelace. So that's what they, I don't think that killed him, but that's how we found him. Oh, he was. Damn. Yeah, that's what I said. This is what I'm saying about death too.

It don't give him a fuck what your plans are. He was headed out. He was headed out. He was headed out somewhere. It's like the drive-by truckers talk about it when it's your time to go. Man. But it's, you know, I own my musical legacy to them and to, you know, to lots of other people that had been in my life and stuff. There was a group a long time ago called The Animals, Guy, Eric Burden.

Yeah. They did a song about Mon. He's the guy that brought Hendricks. He's the guy. He's the reason we have Hendricks. Yeah. Chas Chandler was Hendricks's manager. That's right.

And he was a bass player for the animals. But one of Eric Burden's lyrics, you ever want to find a truth in life, don't pass music by. And my brother and I to this day are exchanging songs like crazy. I mean, to, I mean, and we will be till they shut the box on us.

Yeah. Or burn me up. It's been the same here too, Chip. Music and comedy. Yeah. Two things. Oh. I'll tell you, my lowest.

At my lowest, I'm working at UPS. Shout out to UPS, Baltimore Home Primary 1, Joy Avenue. And I'm working from 4 p.m. to 2 a.m. Some nights in the winter, the trucks don't get there till late. You got to stay. I'm getting home 3.34 in the morning. I got to go to college at 7 a.m. I'm living in Baltimore at 11-11, and it's all street parking.

There's no driveways. You get home at 3 o'clock in the morning. And everybody, there ain't a spot. There is no fucking spot. And I got to park all. It's February. It's vivid. I got to park all the way and it's a hill, the bottom of the fucking hill.

And I had to pull out stereo back then, the alpine, but not the detachable face. This is the pulled the whole motherfucker out and took it in my backpack, you know. And I'm listening to Richard Pryor. And he's doing a bit that then, now it would be hack, but he did it then. And he's talking about the difference between the white family in the exorcist and if it black family had been in the exorcist. and he does this bit where he's the black father coming home and he's like, what the fuck's that funky smell? He's just yelling shit.

And he goes up in the bedroom and he's telling the girl, he's like, Yeah, he goes, he goes, it's a throwaway line at the end. He goes, and get to cross out your pussy. We've got to tell you. We're having a company. And get to cross out your pussy is a throwaway. It's a throwaway. It's a throwaway.

And it had me laugh. Listen to me. All the way up that hill, out loud, howled in the middle of the night. Went down to basement, howling, listening to it again and again, man. And get to cross out your pussy. It's so fucking funny to me. Comedy and music, man. Go ahead.

I don't mean to interrupt. No, no. I got a question for both of you. Watching Chappelle perform, watching his show. I guess because I'm hyper sensitive to this. about five minutes in, there was a change in the room. And Chappelle had the room right there. I mean, in the palm of his hand.

When you were performing, do you all get that feeling like I can go do what I pretty much want? Yes. For sure. There are certainly nights where you're like, oh, we're all on board here, not this little riffraff over here or whatever. Like, we are a cohesive unit in this room and I'm leading it and we can go this way. that way and they're on board. They're on fucking board. Can I tell you where I like discovered that?

Yeah. James Baldwin, I want to say it was in 1965 does a debate at Cambridge against this, um, senator. I don't know if he's a senator, but it's a Southern man, but they're, they're speaking on, you know, um,

blacks in America, you know, and, um, James Baldwin spoke, spoke first. and it was the way he was able to like have that room like, you know, have that room in a palm of his hand like that. That was like, I was like, oh, I want, I want to feel that when I'm on stage. But, but like, there's a, I mean, there's a way to do it. You know, it's, it's, it's, you know, he was so captivating.

And he spoke, you know, a thousand years ahead of like its time and everything was just so grounded. and logical. And I think, I think that times that's where it comes from when, like, things are just so grounded and logical, like, you can just pull people and it's like,

okay, I'm listening, you know, and that's like, that's like where I kind of, it's like one of my favorite debates. I forget the guy's name he debates because, I mean,

whatever to him, but he's just, I don't know, and I love James Baldwin. So it was just like one of the coolest. That's where like, that's where I get a lot of my, like,

inspiration for comedy. It's not even like, like from a lot of comedians to be quite honest. It's honestly from James Baldwin. I don't know. That voice. His voice was hypnotic. Yeah.

James Baldwin's voice was hypnotic. Big time. Big time. Yeah. I'll say this too, Chip, is being a kid that was, and I call the show the honeydew, just so you know also, because I'm sitting in a diner one night. I'm having dinner. And, you know, they bring you that fruit cup.

And I find myself eating everything in the fruit cup. even the red grapes, and I don't like red grapes. I like green grapes, but I don't eat the honeydew. I don't have a hatred for it. I just was like, whatever. And as I leave, I see it's honeydew scattered on tables all through the restaurant. And I'm like, you know what? That's a perfectly good fruit that most people just throw away.

And it hit me that that's who I've been in my life. A perfectly good person. And people have just constantly just discarded me, indifferent. Just not hate you. Just, man, fuck that guy. Fine. I don't want that. And so then I made this show to highlight low lights.

And that's why it's called the honey do. Not the honey do, this, that list or whatever. And I have to say, like, it has been, there's nothing that gets me higher than knowing what I went through and being able to talk and make strangers fucking laugh and feel good. I can't tell you the drug that nothing I've ever. done or probably even the Grateful Dead have done has ever hit me in a way where I'm like, there's nothing else that gives me that. There's nothing. And it makes me feel so good that I've been able to channel anger, hate, indifference, you know, abuse, trauma into humor. And it resonates with people. Like, that's really fucking powerful and special. And I can tell your teaching methods

have done the same. Wow. Thank you. Yeah. I know we got to get you out of here, so we're going a little longer. But let me ask you this, Chip. Any questions for Chappelle? No, I just did such a treat to see him and it was such an honor to be on your show. It's, you know, I just feel like I've been talking with two friends. Hell yeah, I feel the same. I can totally tell why he was like, man, Chip, let me tell you. You got any for him? No, not necessarily because I mean, we talk like all the time and share a lot of stuff. So, I mean, the connection is like... So you're fully back in touch now and everything. Okay, yes.

Do you have any other patients or students that have gone on to do prominent things in their fields? Not in showbiz. I mean anything, yeah, yeah. But or that I know of not in showbiz in something legal. in showbiz. But lots of folks that have gone on to get law degrees and, you know, that are practicing corporate law and criminal law and that sort of thing. But if you were to ask me, you know, who's your best student, who's your favorite student

right there? Yeah, no doubt. All right, two more questions for you. Two more questions for you. Okay. What advice would you give to anyone right now listening, watching who is going through anything in their life? Whatever it is that's making them angry and want to act out or possibly take their life or harm someone else. What would you say to these people that really need help?

And especially the guys out there that still think therapies for pussies and shit. You know, that thought is going to be with men forever. You know, that somehow if I admit what's going on, I'm weak. My advice would be, first and foremost, get help. There was a poet a long time ago, 1600s named John Don. You know the poem, Every Man is an Island. No. Well, it's something that John Don wrote.

It's a piece of an elegy. But in that poem, he says, Every man's death diminishes me. And so everybody that dies takes a little bit of Ryan Sickler. Everybody that dies takes a little bit of Chappelle Lacey. You know, we're all in this together. So get help and find somebody that listens to you. If they think they know best, leave.

Yeah. If they think they know best, leave. Yeah. Yeah. The people that know everything, know nothing. They're the worst. Amen. They're the worst. Amen. Well, man, thank you so much.

Look, I asked guests their first time on here a question. Chappelle's already answered. I'm going to ask you, Chip Chilton. Advice you'd give to your 16-year-old self. What would you say to Chip Chilton? Well, I missed Woodstock for a date. Which day? All three days? Well, yeah, when the car left, my chance left. Yeah. How'd the date go? How'd the date go?

I had her home by nine. Oh, God, damn. The true story. Sad, but true. Oh, well, I'm a Hendrik Super Freak. So that fuck, I saw that over. That hurts. Yeah. I'm a Hendricks super freak. That hurts. It's, you know, who did I hear talking? Nils Lofgren in a little YouTube short just last night was talking about, you know, Clapton and Beck and and everybody that played with the yardbirds, he said,

but then this guy named Hendricks came along. And he said, at first when I heard him, well, wasn't that impressed, you know? He said, but when he released Axis, bold as love, he said, I just sat down and he said, all I could do is shake my head. Yeah, like, what are we doing? Yeah, yeah, well, you know,

there's a famous story about the first time Hendricks played, and I don't want to go too long, but there's a famous story about when Hendricks first played in London, the song Harrison wrote While My Guitar Gently Weeps is about that particular concert and he titled it like that because the floor on the auditorium

where he played Sloped Down and all the other guitar players were there and they were crying and he was those tears that he thought filled the auditorium there was Hendricks and there was nobody else nobody else. Wow. Wow. That's awesome. I've heard so many great stories. I've heard like the Beatles

drop Sergeant Pepper. They go into a club the next night, and Hendricks fucking already playing it. And they were like, he's doing it better. And we fucking did it. Like, damn. I'll tell you a quick fun story you might like.

As I said, and it's out there on the wall. We'll send you a picture. I, huge Hendricks Super Freak. And in 90, this would have probably been 99. Noel Redding,

who used to play base in the original experience, was at a place in Santa Monica that's no longer as this called. 14 below corner of Santa Monica Boulevard and 14th Street right by my old studio. Okay. Right there. And it went down on the ground. I'd have, you know, acts come through and playing.

He's in there. And I'm like, man, that's fucking Noel Redding, you know. So I go down and I got my original, are you experienced album. And afterwards, he sits at the bar. I buy the guy a fucking beer. And we talk about Hendricks and the experience. It's the closest I'm ever getting to Hendricks. He signed everything for me.

It was fucking awesome. It was awesome. You got time for a really brief quick. And then you still haven't given advice to your 16-year-old self, and I haven't forgotten. But go ahead. Give us another story. I was working for probation doing substance abuse. I was the only, I was head of therapy at probation in Coffman County.

And I was doing a substance abuse evaluation with this guy, African-American guy, probably in his 60s, maybe. And I had these two huge monitors in this assessment. took a long time. And I had the poster on the wall that Chappelle saw, that big Hendricks poster from the 60s. And then for my screensaver, there's a picture of Hendricks playing with a guy named Wilson Pickett,

midnight hour, 99 and a half. I was banging away on the keyboard, and this guy looks at me and he goes, who is that? And I said, that's my dad. And I just kept banging away on the keyboard. And he said, no, really, who is that? I said, that's my dad.

And I wasn't paying attention or anything. And I finally finished up his assessment. And I said, thanks for coming in today. And, you know, good luck and everything. And the guy looks at me and he goes, that's really your dad? And I said, yeah. And I was just playing with a guy. And he said, man, you sure are, hi, hi, Ella.

That's great. All right, Chip, let's get you out of here. But advice you're giving to you, 16-year-old Chip. Be forgiving. I like that. I like that. Thank you. And if you want to find a truth in life, never, don't pass music by.

Agreed. Yeah. Well, Chip Chilton. Did I do okay? Man, bro. This episode, hey, how about this? Are you guys nervous? No.

No. No, I can totally see why you have the connection. I can totally tell that even in my heyday of anger and rage, you'd have been a guy I would certainly have talked to as well. I had that lady. I'd have been honored. I call her Miss Sandy. She's my friend's mom. I still talk to her.

Like, she was my, because also at 16, I don't have parents. And I'm talking to parents whose parents are still alive. Like, they can't even put themselves in my. There was no one to talk to the therapist I'm going to or like, you. like, yeah, my parents are still here. I don't know what the fuck. You know what I mean? But anyway, as you can see what life is, I'll say this, brother. What a long, strange trip it's been, Chip Chilton.

Look at this. Not strange enough and not long enough. Look at this, brother. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Looking at your, looking at the feedback you all got from the last time Chappelle was on, if anybody wants to talk or whatever, they can feel free to call. Hell yeah. I was going to say, do you still practice? Like, do you have?

Where can they reach you, Chip? I hope that's a business line. Chip. I'm laughing if that lady hit you up, like, you must be a damn good therapist. You take it? We got to show Chip this Hendrix bust right here. It's my phone with a purple, purple haze ringtone. Hell yeah. Hold on. I got to show you this. Yeah, you got to see. I was going to say, we've been looking at it all day. Someone made you this, right? I might come to steal it. I know, right? Can you see this? Oh, come on.

That's his induction to the, is it the Playboy Hall of Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? All right. So, yeah, Tom Segora had this commission for me. This guy, I forget your name, brother. You're phenomenal. But as I said, I'm a Hendricks super freak. Can you see this clearly? Absolutely.

Every time I see something, Hendricks, it looked good, but there's always something a little off. This thing is fucking immaculate. This is Han Solo shit. He pours it, then he casts it, then he can't carves all this hair. Like,

he's amazing. I'm so sorry. We'll throw his little Instagram up here. And then this is my grandmother's scarf. And I knew, thank you, thank you. I tie my grandmother's,

because that'd tell me that ain't Hendricks's style anyway. I tie my grandmother's scarf around this. But yeah, this thing's badass, and I just, I love them. It's, it's no doubt. When I met my wife, it was at a Halloween party, and I was dressed as Jimmy Hendrix. No, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. And it was so convincing.

I got a stratacastro and strung it backwards. And I had a vest and, you know, like a fox fur belt and all sorts of stuff. it looks so convincing that the Dallas police stopped us and wanted a picture. No shit. Yeah, but it wasn't anything like that. I'd have figured out some way I could put. That's great. That's incredible.

What's it made out of? I think he said, oh, it's heavy, man. It's like a, no, it's like an epoxy. He pours first or something like that. I got it all wrong. But he explains it on there. And then then he goes in and hand carves it. It's like casting Han Solo and then going in and carving his ass out of it.

It's bad ass. It's crazy. I'd never leave home. I'd sit there and talk with him. It sits here in the studio. It's the piece right there in the studio, bro. I sent, I sent, didn't I send you a picture of Hendrik sitting on my couch and us talking? Yep.

What? You met him? Kind of. Well, I mean, you were in. Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research.

Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. Is presents? Donna. You got a picture of Jimmy Hen. It's not really him, huh? No, it's him. Oh, was it saying on here?

I thought it was saying that. No, it's not on the bench. Well, thank you again, Chip. This has been fucking awesome, Chip. Thank you. Thank you. The honor. Yeah, pleasure had been mine.

Yeah, thank you. Chappelle, please, right there. I'll move Jimmy if you want to promote anything you want. For the rest of the year. Sheplelac.ac.com for tickets. All the dope cities. I mean, you'll see it on there. You'll see your city.

Oh, so city. Yeah, all my favorite ones. Oklahoma, yeah. Well, the people at that club couldn't have been any nicer, even if they tried. They were just the nicest people I've, some of the nicest people I've ever met. Yeah, it was beautiful. That's awesome, man. As always, Ryan Sickler, on all your social media, we'll talk to you all next week.