The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler - Adam Carolla - CarollaDew

Episode Date: August 1, 2022

My HoneyDew this week is comedian Adam Carolla! (The Adam Carolla Show, New Book: Everything Reminds Me of Something) Adam Highlights the Lowlights of his unusual childhood and the death of his mom. SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE and watch full episodes of The Dew every toozdee! https://www.youtube.com/rsickler   SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON, The HoneyDew with Y’all, where I Highlight the Lowlights with Y’all! You now get audio and video of The HoneyDew a day early, ad-free at no additional cost! It’s only $5/month! Sign up for a year and get a month free! https://www.patreon.com/TheHoneyDew  SPONSORS: Coors Light -Go to https://www.CoorsLight.com/HONEYDEW for a chance to win exclusive merch, fun local expereinces, even a trip to New York, Chicago, or LA! Upstart -Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to https://www.Upstart.com/HONEYDEW. Use our URL to let them know we sent you! Pair Eyewear -Get glasses as unique as you are. Go to https://www.PairEyewear.com/HONEYDEW for 15% off your first purchase

See yourself buying a home one day? Do future you a favor. Open a Questrade first home savings account and help that future come faster. The FHSA is a tax-free account where all your investment gains are yours to keep and put towards your first home. With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed. It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at questrade.com. La Jolla, California. I'll be at the La Jolla Comedy Store August 5th through the 7th. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I'll be there August 18th through the 20th. Austin, Texas. I will be there September 2nd through the 3rd. Get your tickets for those shows and all shows on my website at ryansickler.com.

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to The Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pant Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler, ryansickler.com. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Thank you for the support. If you're new here, if you've been here, I love you for supporting this show and helping out. If you're watching on YouTube, please hit that subscribe button.

It's a real free, easy way to help the show. All right. If you got to have more, subscribe to the Patreon. It's the honeydew with y'all. It's five bucks a month. If you sign up for a year, you get over a month free and you're getting the honeydew a day early ad free at no additional cost. All right. I'm highlighting the lowlights with y all, and your stories are absolutely outrageous. We've released 10 episodes on the YouTube channel. One had to be taken down. And you can go check those out to get a taste of what the Patreon is like. It's a weekly show. And if you or someone you know has that story that has to be heard, please submit it to honeydewpodcast at gmail.com.

Tour dates. Actually, in town this week, if you live in L.A., I'm doing a Ryan Sickler and Friends show at the Comedy Store. It's Thursday night. The lineup is sick. Go check it out if you're in town. But La Jolla, I'll be there this weekend, August 5th through the 7th. Philadelphia, August 18th through the 20th.

And Austin, September 2nd and the 3rd, Philadelphia, August 18th through the 20th, and Austin, September 2nd and the 3rd, Labor Day weekend. Get your tickets for those shows and all shows at RyanSickler.com. Now, that's the biz. You guys know what we do over here. We highlight the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I am very excited to have this guest on today.

First time here on The Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Adam Carolla. Welcome to The Honeydew, Adam Carolla. Thanks for having me. Thank you for being here, dude. This is a long overdue. I've been wanting to have you on here. I agree. This is something I dreamt of, I think, in my sophomore year of high school. So it's been a lot. Did it look like this? Yeah, the motif was pretty close. You didn't have a beard back then. No. And I think we both put on a couple pounds, but this was something I've had in my mind for

a long time. So thanks for having me. You're welcome. I'm glad to make the vision complete. Yeah. Before we get into what you want to talk about, please plug, promote everything, anything you'd like. I got a book that's just out called Everything Reminds Me of Something, and you can get it wherever you find books. It's another comedy book. I write, I think I'm on my sixth comedy book. Are you really? Six? Yeah, it's crazy. You blink your eyes and you've done six comedy books. And then you can go to adamcrawler.com for dates or listen to the podcast or whatever you like so you are obviously you go back to the original days of this they you're also one of the pod fathers they say um i mean i grew up listening to you on

loveline i say grow up we're not that i, how old are you now? I just turned 58. Damn, dude. You look great. Oh, thanks. You're two years from 60. You're Brad Pitt's age, bro. You look fucking great. I like that thing where he can't remember people's faces. I'd like to invent some disease for me to get me out of trouble.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, ladies. I can't eat pussy. I have a note. A note. A note. My Dr. Drew has drafted something here. So I don't remember your face. And then the other affliction I have is I can't eat pussy.

But those are my only two. I'm beyond impressed. You look fantastic. Oh, oh, and I can't sit close to people when I eat indoors who talk too loud in a dining situation. So those are my three kind of afflictions, but thank you. All right. I want to go back to times when you weren't successful, when you were at your lowest. You said, feel free to ask you. So talk to me about some of the times you've struggled in life and what you went through. And talk to me about some of the times you've struggled in life and what you went through.

I started off in a very weird family that, you know, by all circumstances, seems very different than almost anybody else's family. Because I think most people think in terms of poverty and they think in terms of abuse. There's physical, sexual, substance, you know, all kinds of verbal abuse. My family is very unique in their approach to abuse, which was they were poor. And my mom was like welfare and food stamps and stuff. We were poor. We weren't impoverished.

We were just – there was no money, but we didn't – I didn't have to eat out of dumpsters. But my family treated their kids as if they weren't their own, like just weird, weird, crazy hands off. Felt like I didn't have parents like when I was nine. And they weren't, you know, beating me or telling me I'm stupid or ugly. It was like they didn't know who I was. I didn't know who they were. It became like really clear that they weren't going to take care of me or do anything for me. It was like, you're on your own. When my sister was 14, she ran away. And for good.

Oh, really? Pretty much. Pretty much. And the thing that's funny is when you talk to Dr. Drew, he'll go like, a young girl only runs away because she's being sexually abused or physically abused. And I'm like, she wasn't being abused physically or sexually. It was such a vacuum of attention and nurturing. There was nothing there. She literally just left like a stray cat, and you stop putting out saucers of milk,

and eventually they just walked to the other house. Well, tell me about your mom and dad then, because they're both the same way? Because usually you at least have one that's in there that's trying to nurture or do something. It is a weird, it's a weird combo. And were they together the whole time too? No, no. They're both generally kind of depressed, really low key, kind of passionless people. You know, my mom is probably, you know, pretty clinically depressed.

She had a hard life. She was raised, she went to child protective services when she was a kid. And she was raised by the grandparents and didn't know the grandparents weren't her biological parents because she was so young. Oh, your mom grew up thinking her grandparents were her parents at first? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. And, you know, my grandmother's, her mom's brother killed himself. Like, the kind of, here's the kind of, I'll tell you, like, who my family is. Like, my grandmother's brother, Robert, puts a rifle in his mouth and blows his brains out, right, when he's, you know, in his 30s. And my grandmother hated him. So she was kind of like,

good. And then I was like, but here's how they are. Here's how my family is. Or here's where my grandmother is. And my whole family is this way Like, he killed himself in a little, small, little, you know, 900 square foot ranch house in, you know, North Hollywood in 1947 or something. And I said to my, I said to my grandmother once, I was like, he killed himself in the house? And she's like, yeah, and then he killed himself, and then me and your grandfather, we moved in, you know? And I said, and he killed himself, like, in the house? Yeah, it was in, you know? And I said, and he killed himself like in the house. Yeah, it was in the room. We made that room your grandfather's office or something. I said, you didn't have feelings about that? And she's like, what are you talking about? And I

said, well, your brother, he killed himself in the house. The house is 900 square feet. It seemed weird. She's like, why? And I said, you know, like realtors have a law that if somebody kills themselves in the house, like within three years or five years, they have to reveal it. She's like, get the fuck out of here. And I was like, grandma, people have feelings about these things. She's like, why? Why? So that's like who she is. I mean, 900 square feet, the blood splatter could be on the other side of the wall over here. Right. Yeah. And she's so like, that's how she was. And my mom... So let me ask, I don't mean

to interrupt, but no, no. I mean, is the work, I don't want to say cold, but were they cold? I mean, is the work, I don't want to say cold, but were they cold? Or just disconnected? What is it? Yeah, disconnected. Not cold like for the sake of being cold. Right. Just like. Just it's who they are.

Basically, it's like this. Everyone in my family is like, listen. It'd be like if I said to my kids, look, I'm totally fucked up. I got my own problems, and I'm a fucking full-time job. I'm going to go in the bedroom and shut the door because I got my own shit going on. So whatever you need for food or bicycles or tough skins or whatever, just fucking you're on your own. It's a sinking ship and it's every man for themselves. And you're growing up in the valley, right?

Yeah. So is it just you and your sister, the only siblings? So what age do you realize that this is different? Because we've talked about when you grow up in something, it's normal until you start going to sleep at a friend's house. And that's when I was like, oh, you guys get hugs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, what kind of cereal do you guys have? Things like that. When do you realize that this dynamic is different and not normal? You know, it was more – I wasn't really doing a dynamic psychoanalyzation of it. I was like, my friends have air conditioning and wall-to-wall carpet and their moms make pork chops and meat

loaf. And so I'm going there and then I'm going to hang out and I'm going to sleep over because I got air conditioning and then there's stuff to eat and they have a pantry with, you know, space sticks in it and cupcakes and shit. And I'm like, I'm just going to, and there's none of that at my house. And, you know, my, the group, the bar was pretty low. You know, I was from North Hollywood. This is the 70s, early 80s. I'm hanging around with just dudes who live, you know, parents live in apartments and, you know, miniature houses.

And, you know, there's a fair bit of dysfunction and alcoholism and divorce. And, you know, they have their own problems. They don't have my unique problems, which is sort of parents that don't know they have kids. They have more their own dynamic going on. But either way, I just lived at everyone else's house. I certainly ate 700 meals at other people's houses. And then are you close with your sister? Kind of yes and no. Like she – it was clear that at my house it was every man for themselves. So my sister did what she had to do and I did what I had to do and she

had her friends and she went and hung out at their house and I had my friends and I went and hung out at their house. And so we never really had, we didn't, you know, I guess there's two relationships you can have. You can have a, you know, a functional family where siblings are close. And then you can have this horrible, abusive family where the siblings are taking care of each other. We had a third option, which is you go north, I'll go south, and I'll see you when we're in our 30s. Oh, shit. Did that happen? Did you reconnect? Yeah. So we didn't really have a base because everyone was just running their own direction,

trying to get fed and have some semblance of a childhood. And so we never had any any real relationship. I also realized that I resented her to some degree because there was a character in this whole crazy plot, which was my Jewish step-grandfather, who's this Hungarian named Laszlo Gorog. And he was sort of sane. And he would look at my family and go, you have to make dinner. You know what I mean? Like, you got to give someone a sweater and a hug. Like, he was a normal, he was an old school Jew from Budapest who fled, you know, when the Nazis started to roll in. And he was kind of normal. And he was probably quietly disgusted at sort of my mom and my dad and the way they sort of conducted, you know, your kid, you know, when they go to school, you got to pack them a lunch

or you have to give them a dollar. You can't just send them with no money and no lunch to, you know, scrounge. So when my sister ran away, he, as the Jewish grandfather, was very distraught, very upset. My mom and my dad didn't – it was kind of bullet dodge for them. Like, okay, one less mouth not to feed, like one less hassle. Really? They weren't torn? They weren't devastated? They weren't like, where's our daughter?

weren't devastated they weren't like where's our daughter you know you're they would they would if you talk to them they would say oh we were very upset or something but they did not show signs of it and they didn't you know put out a dragnet or you know it wasn't like where's dad he's driving up and down vaynage boulevard it's midnight He's looking for, you know, it wasn't, you know, George C. Scott and hardcore, you know. He wasn't out beating the bushes, you know. It's like hang out, call her friend Jenny. She's not there. Well, we're out of ideas. And my grandfather was the one who was like wringing his hands and very upset, you know.

And this is your mom's dad or your dad's dad? This is the step-grandfather, but this is my mom's dad who is the step-dad who she never knew the real dad. So then tell me about your mom and dad, their relationship. Did they treat each other the same way they treated the kid? Were they also, hey, every person for themselves? Were they also, hey, every person for themselves? My dad is, you know, grew up in South Philly, just poor and depressed and Italian family and just totally not an effective person.

Just couldn't turn a wrench, couldn't make a buck, you know, just weird. It's kind of with a little bit of a mentality, which is weird. Maybe it was kind of a South Philly thing. Like his dad played a little trumpet back when they had big bands and, you know, it was like a blue collar job playing a trumpet, you know what I mean? But he kind of hung out, you know, it was a kind of knock around kind of, you know, these mean? But he kind of hung out, you know, it was a kind of knock around, kind of, you know, these guys on a Tuesday just playing like Pinochle, the cafe, all day, you know, like not really, the gig would be Friday night or something like that. And my dad and his kind of, his cousin moved out here, Vince, they kind of had that same mentality. They weren't career-oriented. They

didn't seem to be on a path. They were just kind of knock around, kind of hang around. Guys, my dad was a decent enough guy, but he wasn't going to do anything for you. He didn't have any money. He wasn't ambitious. He was just kind of worked a little. He's like a substitute school teacher. Drove an old VW Bug. You know, just kind of got by. Didn't like cooking or camping. Got by. That says everything right there.

He just got by. You know, the whole family, the whole plan was just live. You don't, you know, set your sights to the stars or anything. It was just sort of hang out, get by. And there weren't really good times, people. Like, they wouldn't, they didn't drink. They didn't have a team they liked. They didn't have a band they followed or, like,

they didn't go to concerts or ball games or didn't have a favorite steak joint or anything. My dad would just kind of sit around. His idea of dinner was like a bowl of cottage cheese with some raisins. He didn't even eat steak. And he liked steak. It just cost money. Where are you going to go when I have money? He just kind of sat around. It was very weird. You don't meet too many guys like him. And not affectionate with each other, your mom and dad, especially in front of you guys? No, no.

They were both really kind of just awkward and damaged and not affectionate. No birthdays or anniversaries or greeting cards or gifts. Birthdays? None of that? What do you remember about the holidays? Birthdays? None of that? What do you remember about the holidays?

My grandmother had a rubber tree, a potted rubber tree plant inside her living room, and she would decorate it with tinsel, which looked weird. And then my mom, one year, we just cut a branch off this old crappy pine tree we had in our front yard and just kind of leaned it like against the wall. It was just flat and just kind of decorated the branch. It was really like Charlie Brown shit. You didn't have a tree or anything like that? Maybe. We'd go to my grandparents' house on Christmas Eve and open gifts, small gifts, and that was about it. No, we didn't do Christmas on Christmas day.

We didn't do stockings and stuff. Way back in the day, like five or six, there was a window of about three years where my parents were sort of married and they were trying to keep up with the Joneses a little bit appearances wise. Like my mom would put makeup on and she wasn't fat and she got her hair done or something. She put together like three years, you know, in the late 60s where there was a kind of a normal, we're trying to be normal, you know? And then at some point we got to the early 70s and depression kicked in and divorce and separation. And my mom just fucking let it. She's not shaving my armpits anymore, not putting makeup on, not dyeing my so you have like a yardstick to measure where my family was financially.

And because, you know, it's kind of in vogue now where everyone is like these claims of poverty, some are nobility. You know, it's like Joe Biden is like, we used to sit around the kitchen table when gas would go up from 29 cents to 30 cents. So my dad would have a conversation. It's like when you got married, you got a brand new Corvette from your dad. It's like these people tell these stories. They go, oh yeah, my family times were tough.

Anyway, my first year abroad in Europe, you know, my freshman year in college. It's like, fucking Europe? Yeah. Well, we didn't have a lot of money. Listen, I grew up with people that didn't have a lot of money. You went from high school to a construction site. You did labor. That was it.

There was no year abroad or my second year at Stanford. None of that. That didn't exist. This is real poor people shit. And when my parents broke up when I was about eight years old, first off, they never got divorced. They just broke up. And the reason they never got divorced is because they didn't own anything between the two of them. They lived in my grandmother's second junker house. My dad had a VW Bug and there was no, they didn't have furniture. Like it was literally like why file for $33 when we don't have anything? There's no reason to even memorialize anything on paper. There's nothing to discuss. It'd just be like two homeless people walking away from each other.

We only know like whose shopping cart is this? So who do you live primarily with when that happens then. Well, so here's how busted my dad was. He is moving out. He can't afford a one-bedroom apartment in North Hollywood in 1974. And what do you think it cost back then? It was probably $129 a month or something. month or something. He goes to my mom's parents' house. So he's going to the house of the woman he's leaving's parents. They have a one-bedroom house in North Hollywood, one bathroom that's off of their bedroom. And he sleeps in an oversized hall closet. This man at this point is like 41 years old.

I was so bad at how old this is. He's in his fucking early 40s, and he breaks up with his wife. With two kids, and he goes to the fucking grandparents' house and sleeps in a closet because he can't financially swing an apartment at this point. That's where he was financially. And your mom is able to keep you guys at least in this house or apartment and keep you afloat? My mom's in a house, but it's her mom's second rental house that she bought a house to rent out, a junker house in North Hollywood. But now her daughter's become unable to take care of herself, so she lets the daughter live in the junker house for free, essentially, because she can't

take care of herself. So we lived in the junker house for free. And then at some point, my dad got an apartment, and then we kind of split our time in between the apartment and the house. What was he doing to get money at that point that he finally got an apartment? He worked as a substitute school teacher, kind of a special needs-y kind of school teacher, and then at some point worked for a place called Five Acres, which is what we used to call an orphanage, essentially. And he was a teacher at the orphanage, which is still there. Two orphans at home, Mr. Malfoy. I know. I thought you'd bring some fucking food home from the orphanage which is still there two orphans at home i know i'm about to bring some fucking food home from the orphanage dad would you bring a can of milk seriously yeah summer is full of

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I gravitate towards sports very immediately. I was a weird kind of gifted kid. I was gifted athletically. I wasn't gifted in terms of school as a student at all. But I was weirdly kind of gifted as a kid. And I say gifted in that I could just do stuff other kids couldn't do kind of physically. When I was young, I was just, I had this weird sense of balance. I could balance. I could ride a unicycle. I was just, I had this weird sense of balance. I could balance, I could ride a unicycle, I could do anything that had to do with balance.

And I had such a weird balance that I think it kind of translated into, I could wrestle any kid and just throw them on the ground in a second. It wasn't like big and muscular or anything. I just had this weird balance or somehow thing. And I just throw everyone around and I was just sort of better than everyone physically. So I went to something I could do, which is play football. So I started playing like peewee football when I was like seven or eight. And I don't know if I liked it, but I guess I craved the discipline. My house was kind of a free-for-all, just go wherever you want, do whatever you want.

Look, we had a tacit agreement, which is you can do whatever you want, just don't ask us for shit. You know what I mean? And it was kind of understood, too, like, well, if you're not cooking or giving me money, then why are you setting a curfew? You're making rules, but you're not supplying anything. So if you're not going to supply anything, then no rules. And that was kind of their agreement. Like it wasn't spoken, but it was like, yeah, we're not in charge of you and you do what you want. You know what I mean? And football was very disciplined and very rigid and guy, you know, old dads yelling, you know,

actually we did wind sprints and pushups and just kicking the shit out of you, you know, old dads yelling, you know, at you. We did wind sprints and push-ups and just kicking the shit out of you, you know, especially back in the 70s when they could really kick the shit out of you. You know, they wouldn't give you water. They'd call you a candy ass. They'd, you know, put you down in your three-point stance, come around, kick your foot, kick your hand out from under you and make you fall on the face and start yelling at you. I mean, whatever would be grounds for abuse, and they'd be brought up on charges now,

they could do back then. And I was down with all of it. I mean, it hurt. It was tough. I was thirsty. It was hot. But I craved it, you know. So I kept going back.

it was hot, but I craved it, you know, so I kept going back. And so I got some base of discipline and achievement through sports. Okay. And was there any person that was overly influential or someone that really stuck out that you remember that you were like, man, I'm glad that person was around? Yeah, I had Mr. Gallagher and Mr. Fitzgerald and these kinds of people in my East Valley Trojan days. And then I went to the Sun Valley Falcons, and Mr. Burr was the coach, and Mr. Whitman, and these guys. First off, I have no idea what their

first name was. Right. Isn't that funny? We're on a full last name basis with Coach Burr and Coach Whitman, Coach Gallagher. Actually, Gallagher's first name was Duke Gallagher. And I only remember that because he had such a great name, Duke Gallagher, you know. And he, and so these people were, like, normal, and they had families, and I ended up hanging out with a lot of the boys.

And I only knew the – not only, but I mostly knew the boys' last name, too. It was, like, Carolla and Fitzgerald and stuff. It was just, like, that's who you were. That's how we did it. That was sports, you know. And I kind of learned that, and I got some sense of self-esteem or accomplishment or something because I had this sort of non-existent self-esteem. I, you know, my parents didn't say you're dumb or you're ugly or stupid, you know, it was just

kind of, you didn't exist to them. So I had this sort of weird non-existent self-esteem. I didn't really exist. Would they come to games? Would they see you in this element? Not really. A little bit. My mom wouldn't. My dad on occasion would come, but he'd do this weird thing that was kind of a strange element, which is he wouldn't sit up in the bleachers if he did come. He'd sit out on the field in a little lawn folding chair, and then he'd bring a book, and he'd put himself like right where you could see him, you know, away from everybody. And every time I looked at him, he'd just have his face buried in his book, which is like a weird message being sent. And I never really thought that much about, but he was always kind of had his face in his book, which is like a weird message being sent. And I never really thought that much about, but he was always kind of at his face in his book.

I mean, if he went, they weren't, they didn't like it, really. They didn't get it. My dad wasn't a sports guy. Yeah, you said that. Not a car guy. No, nobody. All right. So where do you get this?

Then where do you, because obviously you're a motherfucking hustler. Where do you get that? Where where do you – because obviously you're a motherfucking hustler. Where do you get that? Where does that get instilled in you? Because you are clearly opposite of what – professionally especially of your father and your mom. So where do you get that? I didn't really get it. It just started to kind of creep in. Like I was like – I was a bad in. I was a bad student.

I was a good athlete. I wasn't going anywhere. I had some scholarship offers from medium-sized, smaller, Cal Poly Pomona, size, smaller, you know, Cal Poly, Pomona, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo, UC Davis, Marshall, Willamette University, Lewis and Clark, like these little, so I didn't know where they were. When I got out of high school and I was in high school, I didn't take the SATs. I didn't take algebra. I didn't know what to do with the paperwork. I didn't have any guidance, and I couldn't do anything. And so I just knew I was going to have to work real hard.

That's all. That was my only thought. You're going to have to bust your ass. And I didn't have an intellectual capacity to fill out an application and get a job inside with some air conditioning or whatever. It was all physical for me. Like, you're going to get a job where you move boxes. You know, you move stuff. You dig ditches.

You work. You know what I mean? Like, to me, I didn't know there's any other kind of work other than work. Right. You know, you moved shit. That's how you got work. Work to me was there's a other kind of work other than work. Right. You know, you moved shit. That's how you got work. Work to me was there's a truck. It's full of stuff.

Go get it out of that truck and go put it in that warehouse. Right. And that was my definition of work, you know. And, I mean, I understood there were doctors and lawyers and stuff, but that wasn't going to be me. I couldn't – I could barely spell my name. So I was like, I'm going to work. And so I just went to work.

So I, you know, walked onto a construction site and they handed me a shovel and I started digging footings, you know, in Silver Lake. And I remember just kind of going, you got to hang on to this job with both hands. You can't risk getting fired for being lazy or something. So I just worked really hard. And so I always kind of understood the work part of life because that's all I knew. That's all I came from. You know, later on, I started thinking about working a little smarter, you know, taking this ethic and maybe applying it to not just getting seven bucks an hour. I say all the time, take that blue collar work ethic into the white collar world.

Right, right. And that's what I started to arrive at at a certain point. But it was very incremental. I didn't read a Tony Robbins book. I didn't attend a seminar. I didn't watch a financial report or something. I really never, it was just very slow and incremental. And the first kind of glimpses I started to have is when I was like 22, glimpses I started to have is when I was like 22, like 22, 21, 22, just kind of live in an apartment, one bedroom with two roommates, you know, like three dudes in a one bedroom, like bunk beds, you know, North Hollywood, no air conditioning, you know, driving a beat up mini truck and,

you know, probably making nine bucks an hour back then. And, you know, no auto insurance, no dental, no medical, and this kind of, and also construction was very like day labor-y stuff. Like if it rained, you didn't work and you didn't get paid. And I didn't have a credit card. There's nothing. It was just like kind of getting paid nine bucks an hour and living, you know. And I just remember being like 22, kind of like sitting in my apartment going, really? This is it? This is it? You're just going to, you know, you're going to work your way up to a bigger truck and you're going to work your way up to 16 bucks an hour one day or something, some more tools or whatever, but just getting up at six every morning and driving to Canoga Park and working with a bunch of meatheads on a job site, like, is that, is that where this, is that what this is? And I, and I just remember thinking,

I would have these little glimpses, because when you get caught up in the hourly world, you know, you make seven bucks an hour and my, I was riding my motorcycle to work, you know, and my boss was like, you get a pickup truck, I'll give you another buck an hour. A buck, yeah. A buck an hour. And I was like, I'm going to find me a pickup truck, you know, a Mazda mini truck from the 70s, you know, 900 bucks, you know, piece of junk, you know. Bought a junker pickup truck, got to eight bucks an hour, you know.

And then at some point, you get to nine bucks an hour and you see some guy roll onto the side, he's making 15 an hour, you know. And you're like, holy shit, look at that guy, man. And I did have an insight when I was like 22. that guy, man. And I did have an insight when I was like 22. I was like, even if you got 50 bucks an hour, and that seemed ungodly and unobtainable, but even if you get 50 bucks an hour, but you're still doing something you don't want to do by the hour, you're essentially getting paid to be miserable. Because that's what construction was. Just go somewhere you don't want to do by the hour. You're essentially getting paid to be miserable. That's what construction was. Just go somewhere you don't want to go, work out in the sun all day, and just stare at the clock. You're just waiting for lunchtime. You're always waiting for lunchtime,

waiting for the whistle to blow. I was like, even if you got 50 bucks an hour, and that was an extreme example for me, you still wouldn't have a good life you'd just be being paid to be miserable and a better wage and you're being paid now to be miserable and so i was like what about doing something that you would enjoy or that was fulfilling or interesting and working with people that are interesting. And that was that shift. All right, so are your parents still alive? My mom passed recently. My dad's still alive.

That's all right. And you have kids, right? Mm-hmm. So how old are your kids? They're 16-year-old boy-girl twins. Okay, great. You've told me what kind of parents they were. Did they change as grandparents?

Were they a little better? Were they more attentive in their older years? What were they like as grandparents? No. I mean, they just kept it who they were. Consistent, they were consistent. Yeah, yeah. who they were yeah yeah my you know honestly the relationship they had my mom passed away like six seven weeks ago oh man i'm sorry that's all right we didn't we didn't have a relationship

um or much of a relationship i haven't told my kids. Get the fuck... Almost two months ago? Yeah. And you haven't told the kids? It's neither here nor there to them. They'll just be like, oh, that's it? I just wait for them to ask. They don't have a relate. How'd your mom die?

Old age. How old? She was 89. How do you feel about that? This is all new for you haven't even told your kids if you not told your kids because you're still processing this or no no i'm just lazy lazy to tell somebody i'm not a big talker i kind of keep to myself you know i keep my head down dude are you uh man that is complicated right there i it's do you talk to your dad about your mom dying yeah my dad was kind of into it not into it a positive way but he he was like you gotta go tell her you love her and i was like i don't think

she can hear me dad and he's like say it anyway he got got very, I think a lot of it was projection on his point. Guilt and everything there. He's like 90, 91. But no, you know, the thing about not really having much of a relationship with somebody, I think people think that, oh, but come on, it's your mom. Like they have an oh, but come on kind of feeling. But I'm here to say not really having a relationship with someone is not really having a relationship with someone.

It doesn't, the mom, it's like saying your neighbor. It's like you going, I don't have a relationship with my neighbor and then someone going but but what about i understand not having a relationship with someone who lives 10 houses down but not your neighbor and you go i don't have a relationship with my neighbor they go i understand someone 20 houses down it's like but they're so close. It's like, yeah, I know. But if you don't have a relationship, you don't really have a relationship. I will co-sign on that. I reconnected with my mother just a few years ago after 25 years. And I can tell you that if we had not reconnected, I would agree with you. It was just this other person that i haven't that's tossed me aside i don't

want to talk to me in 30 fucking years you you're right you don't have i know people want to say that now deep down like and to me i'll my always my answer was always the deeper you go the less that's there right you know what i mean right i think you can understand that like you if you want to get something it's going to be up here. The deeper you go, there's nothing, there are no roots. No, and that's what people think you're going back and drawing on some history. But if there's no history, then where's your base? Where's the foundation?

What are you going back to, you know? All right, so then as a father, how do you decide to break this cycle? Are you as active in your kid's life? Are you overcompensating? Are you overcorrecting? Or are you just being a good dad? As a dad, I'm not really full of dad instinct, which I'm aware of coming from where I come from. So my first impulse was sort of – I to have kids because you don't have any money and you're screwed up and your family screwed up and you must delay this this process until you can get a base get a foundation financially at the lab I was like I I I grew up in this world where it's like financially, I remember my mom had an old VW station wagon,

you know, everything was an old VW, everything was broken down all the time. And I remember at some point I wanted to go, I lived in North Hollywood, I had a close friend who lived in Van Nuys, you know, and as the crow flies probably four and a half miles away, you know, and my mom, you know, it's like giving me a ride to Van Nuys was always like, oh God, no, you know, you gotta, you gotta give me three weeks notice, you know, whatever. And I just remember this, I remember at some point kind of being, wising up, like, like, and I was always kind of good at math, which is weird. So I was like, it was gas. Gas is so expensive. Gas, gas.

It was during the 70s, gas crunch, you know. It's gas, gas, gas. And I was like, your VW wagon gets like 25, 30 miles to the gallon. Gas is 72 cents a gallon. Teddy's house is five miles from here. This is going to cost you 23 cents. 23. And she just looked at me and she went,

every time you start the car, it costs money. Every time. The tires, the belts, the oil, the wear and the tear. And I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, we're arguing over 34 cents. I can't just get a ride to fucking Van Nuys. Like, okay, I'll walk to Van Nuys. But I mean, it's like, I was like, I don't want to do that shit with my kids where I'm fucking talking to them about every time you start the car, it costs, you know. So I was like, I want to get my career.

I'm going to be established. I'm going to make money. I want to, like, take care of them. What I do is I'm a very – I very much try to lead by example. Like, I'm like, I work hard. You must work hard. I shall show you how I work hard and, like, I work hard. You must work hard. I shall show you how I work hard and like how I treat people and how I conduct and comport myself. So my first thought was just like, I'm not going to sit around and tell them what to do the whole time.

You know, I'm not going to be smoking a cigarette through a donut and talk to them about health. You know, I'm going to take care of myself and they can watch. And I'll have little conversations with them, but I'm going to just go by example. And so that's kind of a lot of parenting for me is just by here's how you conduct yourself. Watch me. And then the other part is I will have passions and loves and things that I want to do. And my parents were full-blown bummers the whole time I was a kid. I'm not going to bum my kids out. I'm not going to tell them how bad it is or how whatever. And I'm not going to use my childhood as an excuse not to hug them or talk to them or

tell them I love them or whatever it is. And so, and I will overcompensate. Big kiss on the lips before you go to bed at night. Love you. Hug. It's easy. It's free. I also, one of my main things, and it is from my family being so depressed and downtrodden and stuff like that is, you know, let's have a dance party. Let's fuck around. Let's be silly. Let's be goofy. Let's be fun. And then I'll tell them all the time, like, isn't this awesome?

Who would you rather have as a dad? You know, this is great. I'm so glad you guys are here. Let's have a good time. You know what I mean? Like all the stuff I never heard. Cause people are always like, Oh,

you know, you're poor, you're poor, you're poor. Yeah. You're poor. That means you can't go to Disneyland. It doesn't mean you can't hug someone or have a dance party or be silly or

crack a joke or throw a ball in the front yard. That shit's all free. All the stuff the kid wants is free. My core memories are all that shit. It was never – we didn't go – I mean, we went to Disney World like once. We didn't go on trips or – our vacation – I'm from Maryland. Our vacation was you go to Ocean City for a few days. There's no Europe.

There's no fucking even going to california none of that shit we never went anywhere but the memories i have that stand out were fishing crabbing fun sports hanging out is there any moment that ever that does if there was one that stands out with your parents from growing up where you're like holy Holy shit, this is a, we're proud of you, graduation, anything. Is there anything where they were, where you were like, Holy shit, this is not normal for them that really stands out? No, my, my family had a weird kind of aversion to their kids in a sort of weird way, I guess. I'll give you a couple examples, and then you tell me how one would process it. My mom was more screwed up than my dad, and my mom was sort of

kind of aggressive sometimes negatively. Her mom was very aggressive negatively because she would say very negative things. My mom would just sort of act it, but not really say it so much. And my dad would just be like, huh, what? You know what I mean? Like you could, you know, you could say to my dad, my dad could say, what's up? And you'd go, my book's coming out Tuesday. And he'd go, okay, there you go. But he'd never go like, what's it about? Yeah. There you go.

Or something like that. He would never get the book or never asked to see it or whatever. Even at now, even through your years. He's an avid reader. You can go check. Well, he read at the football game. That's right. You can go check his bookshelf.

My book does not- It's not all in there. Not any of them. No, it's just, but he's kind of passive about it. My mom was a little more like, I'll give you two mom stories about where she was at. I'll give you two mom stories about where she was at. Later on in life, I sort of became successful in show business and it was like my grandmother's 85th birthday or something. We went to a Thai food restaurant or something.

It was my mom and the grandma. Oh, God, I got a good grandma story too. All right, so I'll tell you who they are, like how they roll. So it was my grandma, my mom, my stepdad, and my sister and me or whatever, just six, eight, six people sitting around. And we're just kind of talking about nothing. And at the time, I was on Loveline on MTV every night.

So I had a nightly one-hour show on MTV, and then I had a weekly show on Comedy Central. So The Man Show was on, and Loveline were both on cable TV. and Loveline were both on cable TV. Now, this is now, we're into the, you know, it's 2000, 2001 or something. And my mom announces to the table, you know, she says, I got a flyer, and it was a flyer to get cable, you know, $14.99 a month, whatever. And they keep dropping these things off because she's the last adult in North Hollywood without cable, right? They're flummoxed.

They're probably having vigils on her front lawn. And so she looks around at the table and she goes, can anyone give me one good reason why I should get cable? Now, I had two, her son had two shows on cable, and the table couldn't summon an answer as well. So that's kind of who my mom is, right? And then later on, this is a very mom move too, or my mom. Later on, she rolls in.

later on she she rolls in she coming over on a sunday to eat scones uh and she comes into my house and she goes uh she has a videotape with her and she's not the kind of person that wants you to see this episode of seinfeld or we never talk comedy or show business she doesn't know a fucking thing. She doesn't have cable. She just knows I go somewhere at night and do a show or something. And now my family sort of knows, well, now he doesn't drive a truck. He drives a BMW, but that's about all they can figure. Cause no one has cable.

Right. They don't know what day, you know, my dad would be like, are you doing the puppet, the, what was that, on the comedy show? The comedy station? What is that? Are you still, like, literally, you're going to be like season four of Crank Yankers. And my dad doesn't know the name of the show or like where it is, you know? And even my sister would be like, what number is the comedy puppet station?

Is that, what number is that? Comedy puppet. I mean, what a way to tell someone about it. And I'd go like, I don't know what number it is on your, you live in Topanga. Yeah, I don't know if it's 132 or 344, but you can Google it or figure it out. That's who my family is. Like, huh? What?

And part of it is like we're sending a message, and the other part is just, huh, what? So my mom, she comes in. She's got a VHS tape. Now, she goes, first things first. This is like 2007. She goes, have you heard of this guy, this comedian, Jon Stewart? Like, okay, I'm on the same network as Jon Stewart. You know, I've been a guest on, he's a friend.

You know, I had dinner with Jon Stewart. I'm like, we have the same age. It goes all the way. It goes all the way to Jon Stewart. I'm like, we have the same age as James Nixon. It goes all the way. It goes all the way to Jon Stewart, right? So I go, she goes, have you heard of this guy, Jon Stewart? Now, part of it is like she has no intellectual understanding of – first off, you've heard of Jon Stewart and you collect welfare. So I'm a comedian who's on the same network he's on. So she probably doesn't know I'm on, you know, anyway.

So it's like, have you heard of Jon Stewart? So I'm, you know, I'm doing what I always do. And they're like, oh yeah, it sounds familiar. Sounds familiar. She's waving the tape around. He is funny, funny. I saw him on Oprah. This is what I got. I got him on

Oprah. I've never seen something so funny. And I'm like, I'm thinking to myself, she never brought a tape in. She never talked about a comedian. She has no thoughts about comedy, but all of a sudden she marches in, she's waving this tape around and she's like, we're going to, we're going to eat some scones and then we're going to, we're going to eat some scones, and then we're going to watch this. And I'm like, okay, all right. And so she keeps talking about Jon Stewart. And at some point, my wife at the time chimes in. She can't take it anymore. She goes, you know, they have the same agent.

Adam and Jon are friends, and they're on the same network together. And my mom pauses, and she looks at the tape, and she goes, yeah, he's a little hit and miss. You? Jon Stewart. All of a sudden now he's hit and miss. He got downgraded to hit and miss. And she wouldn't know if I was hit and miss.

She had never seen me perform. But my Jon Stewart got demoted. From the funniest thing I've ever seen. To hit and miss. We never watched a tape. His name never was uttered again by her. And it's like a year or two later, he was hosting the Oscars.

She watches the Oscars. She never said a word. Nothing. It was dead. It was dead. She was dead. Like, I was at a party with Jon Stewart just eight months ago, and I just said, you know, Jon, I'm sorry, but I lost you a fan. You told him.

I told him. My mom was a huge fan until she found out about us. And she's never uttered your name again. That is great. She died never fucking saying it ever. His name never came up ever again. I mean, that's not passive aggressive. That's aggressive as fuck right there.

Yeah, but she came from my grandmother who was very kind of aggressive that way, too. And they were just fucked up that way. And I don't know why. Once in a while, my grandmother would kind of kid me. She'd go, well, you know, I got to keep you grounded. Which is like, first off, you did a wonderful job of grounding me from zero to 30. So congratulations.

And two, what would be so wrong if my gondola left the ground just a little bit? How many sandbags? Like, you have to keep me. I got to keep it real. You know what I mean? That kind of thing. It's like, I'm not walking around like MC Hammer in parachute pants. I just fucking became successful at something.

You don't have to work hard to keep me grounded. So I'm still thinking about not telling. I know, right? Flew by. I'm still thinking about you haven't told the kids yet about your mom past. They're pretty avid listeners of this podcast so i think are they no i was gonna say no i don't know what the hell they listen to they watch friends what are you when you're gonna wait till they come to you i don't

know that they'll come to me right so could it be six months before you'd be like oh yeah by the way grandma six years really you'll wait i'm gonna i've forgotten about it like like i i all need to be cued did you have did you go say goodbye to your mom like your dad wanted you to yeah i did but was she in a state where she really couldn't hear you or yeah yeah i think so her health was that bad at that point she was yeah at that point she kind of i told her i loved her i told her i forgave her and she sort of you could see her eyes move a little whatever i forgive you yeah and then in the tradition of my family you know at some point, I turned to my stepdad and I went,

what are the arrangements? Yeah, right. I was about to ask you. There's no funeral you guys? Nothing? No. Is it cremation? Body donated to UCLA.

Science donation. They come get you. And that's the end of us? That's it. No events, no luncheons, no scatter the ashes over the open sea. So no farewell at all.

As much as if I said to you, I love you and I forgive you, and then I left this podcast studio, whatever happened to you after then, that's as much. Wow. That's as much as we've done do you will do do you think your kids will be upset that you didn't tell them or it really is that far disconnected that they're like oh think they'll be more concerned for you how you're doing I don't suspect they'll be concerned for me and I don't suspect, my son's a little more sensitive. He may have a flash of sensitivity, but I don't think my daughter's pretty much going to be moving on to her next event.

So no, I know it sounds exquisitely bizarre and weird, but they just don't have any connection. Now, what about with your wife's or their mom's family? Is that a different situation? Are they closer to their grandparents on that side? Are they alive? They passed sort of early-ish in their career, but they're close to, like, nephews and nieces and stuff like that. So they have some – they understand that.

My side of the family is just not. And you didn't have any extended, no cousins or anything on that side that you could resonate with. Like you believe this fucking, these weirdos and shit. None of that. No, I had,

I had one like second cousin and one single child who only child who lived in Santa Monica, who I would, you know, we'd hang out a little, you know, little bit, but no, there'd hang out a little bit. But no, there's no like extended family, no group, no support.

Well, good for you for breaking the fucking cycle because you could easily slide right back into that shit. It's what you knew from two parents. It's not like you got one that was like that. Well, I understood, you know, the gift from them is here's what I don't want. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to live this way. I don't want to be this way.

I don't want to raise my kids this way. I don't want to comport myself this way. You know, you have one broken down car. I want 20 race cars. Right. You know, you have one broken down house that your mom lets you sleep in. I want two houses. You know, I just kind of went, whatever it is you guys are doing,

I'm going to go do something, the other thing. And there's a lot to be gleaned from knowing what you don't want to be. You know what I mean? Yeah, I agree. Every day you just drive down the street and see some dude in his all-electric Audi crushing it over there and then see the homeless dude over there and go, all right, I don't want to do that. I do want that all-electric Audi.

All right, so this is going to be an interesting question because I told you at the beginning when we wrap up, we've got to get you out of here, advice you would give to your 16-year-old self after what we've talked about. I'm very interested to hear what you would say to 16-year-old Adam Carolla knowing now what your parents were both like. The one thing I needed to hear is that time passes quickly. And if you stay with what you're interested in, things have a way of working out. You know, all the people I've met in the business, all the journeys I've seen, they've somehow magically worked out, you know, and some better than others, but they've basically worked out. And I would just say to the 16-year-old Adam, first things first, sports isn't

the future. It's going to be comedy. Secondly, just because your parents never laughed or said, write that down, or encouraged you, or heard you, or acknowledged you, doesn't mean you're not funny. And it doesn't mean other people won't. When, you know, when I met Jimmy Kimmel years and years later, he was like, you're fucking funny. I was like, there will be people who you meet who matter, who go, whoa, what is this? Like your parents, no one in your world, your friends, school teachers, counselors, you have this thing. It is neither here nor there to all of them, but it will mean something to other people later. Time will pass quickly and you can get paid with this gift that you have that everyone around you is saying is worthless. You're basically, you have a gasoline refinery before cars have been invented.

But one day there shall be an invention called a car and you will be able to sell your product. Yeah. That's great advice. Dude, thank you so much for coming on. I'm sure some of this wasn't easy to talk about. Maybe it was. You seem dead to it. It's not easier or hard. It just is. Please plug, promote anything you'd like. You can go to amcroll.com. Got the book out now called Everything Reminds Me of Something.

You can go read all my books in 50 years where I'll be chicks or President Me or Not Taco Bell Matera or whatever. Go look them up. If they don't have a super high rating on Amazon, don't buy this next book. But if they do, then buy it. Amcrow.com, live shows travel around the country, but you can listen

to the podcast too. Awesome. Thank you very much, man. I really appreciate you doing this. And as always, RyanSickler.com, Ryan Sickler on all social media. We'll talk to you all next week. Bye.